A Junkyard Christmas (Not Your Normal Tdc Holiday Special)

[The Dark Chronicler]

Chapter 1

Junkyard sat in his basement workshop, welding the last components onto his latest weapon, It was hard to believe it had only been a year since the ill-fated Christmas party V-3 had foolishly hosted. He smiled to himself, thinking back to that fun day. He had invented a new weapon, ornament grenades. They had been selling like mad this Christmas, he wouldn't be surprised if his invention appeared across the forum this year. The year had just seemed to fly by...He twirled the newest weapon that had first taken form in his mind. Fruitcake with a handgun inside. It was the perfect weapon, no one ever ate the fruitcake, the gun would never be seen until it was too late. Now, he just had to drop it off at his office in Junkyard Industries' main weapon manufacturing plant, and he could get to work on something else. Then after Christmas, he could meet up with his designers, and start mass producing the weaponized fruitcakes. Soon, everyone family would have one, even the police would be carrying them. Nothing would beat listening to a criminal shouting about how a cop shot him with fruitcake.He tucked the weapon under his arm, rising from his desk chair. He stopped to check his clock. He stopped to check it four more times. He'd spent the last eighteen hours down in his lab, working. But... not needing to sleep did make it hard to realize it was getting late. His eyes glanced over to the picture of his Rahkshi and himself, all happy and cheerful...He smiled slightly, heading toward the elevator out of the basement. He was so glad he had spent the extra money to add in an elevator instead of stairs. Unfortunately, the designers didn't make escalators. He wasn't sure why, but riding up and down on those moving stairways was always so entertaining. As he walked, he flipped off the light switch to his workshop, and all lights went off. He turned, standing at the elevator doors."Well, I'll see you again after the holidays." He said, not to anyone, but the lab itself. He knew it wasn't alive, but it sure was a good friend to him, had been for years. He pressed the button, opening the elevator doors. He stepped inside, and the elevator started heading up from the basement. A catchy tune filled the mechanical lift."Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way..."And Junkyard smiled, he had always loved Christmas, it brought back good memories of when his Rahkshi were still young. Memories of when they still spent Christmas as a family. He sighed, how he missed those wonderful years.

[The Dark Chronicler]

Chapter 2

The elevator doors opened into the large kitchen in his mansion home, He reached his hand onto a counter, grabbing the cup of coffee that was always there. he quickly poured the coffee out into a potted plant nearby, when he was sure no one was watching. Then he placed the cup back where he had found it. He couldn't drink it, but he knew Virahk always made it for him... even if the Rahkshi knew Makuta didn't drink anything. It was still nice to know at least one of his Rahkshi would do something like that for him.He walked slowly through the kitchen, passing Qwelrahk who was sitting at the table and eating breakfast. "Hello Tranq."The Kraata, which was out of his armor, and eating on the table, let out a cheerful hiss, before turning himself back to eating a piece of Toast with Bula jelly. He was quickly taking large (For a Kraata) bites from the Toast."What did I tell you about chewing?"Qwelrahk let out a sigh, before chewing the next bite. Then he went back to his quick eating pace.Junkyard chuckled as he kept on walking. "And don't forget, it's your turn to wash the training room. Don't leave any blood on the dummies this time, I don't care how 'cool' it looks."The Kraata chuckled, finishing his toast, and slithering back into his armor. "But dude, everything looks cooler with bloodstains! It's like, the ultimate form of awesomeness!""I said no Qwelrahk, that means no." He shook his head, as he walked out of the kitchen and into the living room of his home. Twelve chairs were scattered about, each one matching one of the Rahkshi's, or his own, personal taste. Some had armrests, some had folding out footstools. Junkyard's was a basic chair. His mechanical body never got uncomfortable, he didn't need anything fancy. Taking up a large area was Junkyard's 300in. television. Maybe it was a little large... or a lot large, but it sure made explosion scenes look awesome.And then, in one corner was the magnificent twenty foot tree, covered in tinsel and ornaments, it was a marvelous sight to the Makuta, many of the ornaments had been made years ago by his Rahkshi. But the sight under the tree... was not. Torn open wrapping paper was scattered all across the floor, only one present was left unopened.His fists clenched in rage, the Rahkshi hadn't even waited until Christmas, they had just ripped open all of their gifts, without him. He was not in the slightest way happy. He looked as though his entire armor had taken on a reddish hue.Hearing Junkyard, Virahk came sliding down the stair-rail from the second floor, holding a covered canvass. "Hey dad, I just finished my newest painting, want to see it? Hey dad, dad! Dad...hey..."Junkyard was in a rage, and not paying attention to Virahk. He stormed past the Rahkshi, walking to the front door of the expensive home. He opened the door, heading out in a huff. The loud echo of him slamming the door could be heard throughout the house."Ok... maybe later then. Bye dad." Virahk sighed, walking over to his seat and falling back into it with an upset look on his face. He turned toward the tree, shaking his head. "Why couldn't they have waited? Is that too much to ask?" He looked at the last present with a weak grin. "And I'll be seeing you tomorrow. Don't be late!" He flopped back, chuckling to himself, before it broke into complete laughter.

[25K Now!]

So this is Junkyard and his family celebrating Christmas?Yes! Our favourite Makuta is a main character now!

[The Dark Chronicler]

Yep, this year I swapped from V-3's Christmas to Junkyard's Christmas. I figured a change from the normal V-3 holiday pattern would be a good thing. Plus, this is a more serious story, though it is still a comedy.Yep, Junkyard is staring in his first comedy as not one of the main characters, but THE main character. Which means Zaphos will have a rather important part near the end.

[The Dark Chronicler]

Chapter 3The cold wind howled, chilling his armor. But he couldn't feel it, the show crunched under his metal feet, though he did not feel the cold. He had long ago lost the senses of touch, of temperature. The memories of that time had dulled over the centuries, but he could still imagine the cool air and snow. But this time, he did not try to imagine, he did not dream back to days of the past. He was irritated and angry.His Rahkshi never showed any respect, any restraint. they did whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted. He tried to get them to stop, but he had failed. They had grown into the spoiled beings he had always feared they would become. But that was not his fault, he had tried, but it took both sides trying before anything could be accomplished, and the Kraata were perfectly happy being spoiled.The thoughts that were echoing throughout his mind distracted him from his walking. The next thing he knew, he was smashing face-first into a thing layer of ice on the sidewalk."Woah, that was awesome! You should do it again so I can record it on video!"Junkyard grumbled, carefully rising to his feet, and turning to the being speaking to him. "Hey Te3e, having fun?" He looked at the at least forty foot tall snowman in the Toa of stone's yard."Yep... though you sure don't seem to be." Te3e chuckled, using stone walls to push more snow toward him, and his masterpiece of snow. He even had two small trees for the arms. "What's got you all upset, you love Christmas!"Junkyard sighed, slipping on the ice again. He face was pretty good at breaking his falls. "The Rahkshi ripped open their presents early this year without me, they didn't even wait until Christmas... and I had a wonderful Christmas all planned out too...""They... opened... presents...early... without... you..." A steely frown formed on Te3e's face. "That is just not right, it should be illegal! Or at least face a serious fine, and the possibility of jail time in serious cases. I'd have to speak to V-3 about the logical options of punishment, and send them in a message to all of the world leaders, and inflict a worldwide law.""... I just want to get back at them in some way.""... Explosives, those always work on scrooges, just ask my brother." Te3e laughed, getting back to his snowman."Well, good luck Te3e!" Junkyard waved as he started carefully walking away, heading off toward wherever his travels took him."Bye, watch out for the ice- oh, never mind. I see your foot found it again."

[The Dark Chronicler]

Chapter 4

The metallic clanking of his feet against sidewalk indicated that the snow had been cleared in this area. He was getting closer to the shops now, and the sound of crowds could be heard not far off in the distance. As he turned one last corner, it looked like an ant colony had been disturbed. People frantically scattered left and right, last minute shopping was always like this, sheer and utter chaos of the highest levels.But, he needed another magnetized heavy shock spring for his next invention, and that meant reaching the nearest Junkyard Industries Weapons store and picking up his newest shipment of parts. Which meant crossing through... the toy store. Full of Lego sets... which were one of the top sellers here... it was not going to be fun. Another popular seller seemed to be Pony based things. He cringed at the thought of anyone wanting a pony based anything, when they could buy ornament grenades. It didn't make any sense at all... unless the pony things exploded, but he doubted they were cool enough to do that.He remembered back to when he was a young Makuta, and he had wanted a pony. But he had wanted a real pony. One that breathed fire and shot lasers from its eyes. Now all the ponies promoted peace and garbage like that. Peace was the enemy of a weapon manufacturer. Ponies were his enemy.As he braved the first few steps into the toy store, he was nearly taken out by a Toa running past with a shopping cart filled with toys. He could hear screams, shouts, arguments, and worst of all... shopping. He hated shopping."Yes, yes! I got the last Rocka 4.0 set!" He saw a member cheering, only to be dragged screaming into a mob of other members. "No, it's mine! Miiiiine!" And he was gone.Junkyard decided wisely to cut around the Lego and pony aisles, cutting through an isle dedicated to some lawyer or something. Right in the middle of the aisle, were two beings fighting to the death over an action figure... which Junkyard knew was just another way of saying doll. And they were two being he knew."The last Phoenix Wright action figure is mine!" Hubert shouted, bashing the other being with a foam Nerf sword."Never! It has real 'OBJECTION!'-ing action! I will own it!" BioBeast roared in return, smashing Hubert with a Rubber chicken from a nearby aisle.Junkyard sighed, knowing that he would have to end the fight somehow.... or just sneak around them.

Edited December 28, 2011 by The Dark Chronicler

[25K Now!]

Me and BioBeast fighting over a Phoenix Wright action figure? Do they even sell them in stores? And besides, I'm more of an Apollo Justice fan.

One that breathed fire, at shot lasers from its eyes.

Remove the comma and change 'at' to 'and'.But anyway, another brilliant chapter here. Tell me, what will Zaphos' major role be at the end? Please don't tell me he has been turned into Junkyard's son-in-law. He has discovered the Bro Code. Bros don't marry each others' daughters. And besides, marrying Junkyard's daughter will cause Fred the Frostelus to disappear from existence.

[The Dark Chronicler]

Me and BioBeast fighting over a Phoenix Wright action figure?

Sure, I thought 'why not?'.

And besides, I'm more of an Apollo Justice fan.

Well, maybe you plan on reselling it or something. XD

Remove the comma and change 'at' to 'and'

No, I don't think I will. I made a grammatical mistake, let the world see it and know the TDC's writing is not perfect!Fixing it after I post this. XD

But anyway, another brilliant chapter here.

Thank you, thank you!

Tell me, what will Zaphos' major role be at the end?

I will not be informing anyone of exactly what their part will be. And I'm not telling anyone Zaphos' either.

Please don't tell me he has been turned into Junkyard's son-in-law. He has discovered the Bro Code. Bros don't marry each others' daughters. And besides, marrying Junkyard's daughter will cause Fred the Frostelus to disappear from existence.

Yeah... No. if Zaphos tried to marry Feyrahk, it would result in a battle between Junkyard and Zaphos like which the the universe has never before seen. Junkyard has more useful powers than Zaphos (Well, mostly), and lacks any sense of Pain. But Zaphos has a lot of very powerful attacks, like the Sparta! Kick, and the Laser blast. They would battle until everything around them was destroyed, then probably get bored, and work together to rebuild it and destroy it all again. Edited December 28, 2011 by The Dark Chronicler

[Let's Henshin!]

First one of your comedies I've read, and I feel like I'm missing out on a lot due to not knowing anything about the Characters, any advice where to start? Still I like'd what I've read so far, oh and

He say a member cheering, only to be dragged screaming into a mob of other members.

"No, it's mine! Miiiiine!"

And he was gone.

Don't you mean saw.

[The Dark Chronicler]

First one of your comedies I've read, and I feel like I'm missing out on a lot due to not knowing anything about the Characters, any advice where to start?

And another Great RPGer has read one of my comedies! Now, I have brought both you and Cadias a glimpse into the insanity within my mind. XDA good place to start... probably my first comedy to actually tar Junkyard as more than a background character. That would be The Sniper Of BZPower (On the old Forums, and not very good compared to my current writing)

Don't you mean saw

No, not at all.Fixing it now. XD Edited December 28, 2011 by The Dark Chronicler

[Let's Henshin!]

I wouldn't exactly call myself a Great RP'er more so a Non-Newb. Also from our PMs I had already seen your insanity. As for reading your first Comedy, I'll get to it after procrastination season is up. XD

[25K Now!]

You really should read his stories. I mean, me and my memetically awesome sidekick are in them.Also, V-3, are you planning on continuing Sniper 2 still? And by the way, when exactly does this comedy occur in relation to that?

[Lenore]

AWESOMENESS!!! THE FRUITCAKE GUN IS AWESOME AND I AM GOING TO GET IT, FIRE THE GUN AND THEN EAT THE FRUITCAKE BECAUSE I LOVE FRUITCAKE!!!!

[Cadias]

Great chapters so far! It's certainly interesting, although sometimes the chapters don't feel quite finished. I keep getting urges to respond to it like an RP post. XD Also, the chapters seem to be moving a bit slowly... the details are nice and funny, but an entire chapter of Junkyard walking through a store, and that's it? A little more action, I think, would be welcome. ....I seem to be stuck on 'review' mode....Other than that, it's great and will be keeping an eye on it, despite my little hiatus from BZP!

[The Dark Chronicler]

I wouldn't exactly call myself a Great RP'er more so a Non-Newb. Also from our PMs I had already seen your insanity. As for reading your first Comedy, I'll get to it after procrastination season is up. XD

Wait, it's procrastination season and nobody told me about it!?

Also, V-3, are you planning on continuing Sniper 2 still? And by the way, when exactly does this comedy occur in relation to that?

Yes, I plan on adding another chapter up after I finish this. It happens between the last and second to last chapter of the Sniper 2.

AWESOMENESS!!! THE FRUITCAKE GUN IS AWESOME AND I AM GOING TO GET IT, FIRE THE GUN AND THEN EAT THE FRUITCAKE BECAUSE I LOVE FRUITCAKE!!!!

But... nobody likes fruitcake!

Great chapters so far! It's certainly interesting, although sometimes the chapters don't feel quite finished. I keep getting urges to respond to it like an RP post. XD Also, the chapters seem to be moving a bit slowly... the details are nice and funny, but an entire chapter of Junkyard walking through a store, and that's it? A little more action, I think, would be welcome.

The don't? They are supposed to be finished... I don't see what else I could add... The RPG, it infects every detail of a person's life. XD. The chapters are actually supposed to be moving slower... I wanted to try that with this... obviously it isn't right for my writing. I can't really alter the style of the story now, I already have it all planned out... and it isn't supposed to have much action.

Chapter 5

Junkyard sighed, stepping into the aisle. He knew this wasn't going to end well. But, there was no point in letting them beat each other to death with... pathetic weaponry. "Alright you two, enough's enough. What are you fighting about?""It's the last one I need for my collection!" Hubert shouted to explain."I want it! It has been written into the stars that it is my destiny to own this!" Sure, he was lying, but it was a good lie."You know, I know the perfect way to settle this." Junkyard remarked to the two. "Both of you turn around and stare at the shelf nearest to you. When I say go, you both grab for the item, which will be laying on the floor. The first to grab it, get's to buy it."Both sighed, turning to face the shelves."Three..."Both tensed up, getting prepared to outdo the other in speed."Two..."Both seemed to be on the edge of leaping toward the item, but neither turned."One..."Though neither one saw it, Junkyard kicked the action figure's box sliding a long way down the aisle."Go."Both smashed into each other with such force that a battering ram would cringe. It was a violent battle like which no toy store had ever before faced, or would likley ever face again. And Junkyard was narrating the whole thing."And a right hook, and a left hook, and a toy fishing hook! This is that battle we've all been waiting for folks! As the current champion, Madman BioBeast, takes on the challenger, Hubert the destroyer! Oh, and Hubert has his it a headlock, now Biobeast has Hubert in a headlock, now they've both got themselves in a headlock!"By the time they stopped fighting each other trying to grab what wasn't there, Junkyard had already moved on. And he had left laughing.He was outside of the Junkyard Industries Weapons Store now, his first destination. Here is where he would find his spring, and that of course meant having to deal with the employee at the front desk... man was he annoying. But, he was a hard worker... and annoying. With a sigh, he walking inside."Hey Junky! What're you in here for?"

Edited January 1, 2012 by The Dark Chronicler