Cederak Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 (edited) I've never done a poem in CoT before, and only a single one in the Library that was written years ago. A lot of my poetry doesn't make it to an audience, but this was an opportunity to try something new and take myself out of my comfort zone. Enjoy. Truth You will search as far as your eyes can gazeAnd construct untold ways to see further.There exists a constant demand for truthAnd in searching quite so desperatelyYou hope you might discover what is true. If you were granted the capacityOf a billion lifetimes and scouredThe depths of the void, your search would still endIn failure. The truth is not found in stars,Nor in atoms. Nature has no reasonOr inclination to produce such truthFor itself. It merely encompassesThose axioms around which certain lawsHave been inexorably established. Only men make facts, and only men wishFor classifications of what is real.On reality, I can provide answers.There is good, and evil. And there is love,Upon the precipice of which is truth.It overlooks canyons of delusionA happy monster that has devouredMen consensually for centuries. I must warn you that slipping is easyThough countless individuals have leaptBlindly forth with no regard for safety.Perhaps this great fall appears inviting,For life in deception is easierThan facing truth. Truth comes without trinketsOr fanfare. Truth is not self-important.It must stand to exist for its own sake,Not in arrogance, but in harmonyWith the few who accept it as it is. Below truth, in the endless chasm of faithAnd fantasy, there is a vast oceanOf more clear symbols than the PacificHas molecules of water. Beneath the wavesYou will find emblems of love, fear, sadnessAnger, and the complete human spectrumOf emotion. This is the real dwellingOf society, of heaven and ######,Of everything that stands between a manAnd the truth. Untold scores of men will liveOut the rest of their days and die here,Either glimpsing truth and rejecting itOr tragic enough to have it eclipsedTheir entire life. Down there, men claim to knowThe truth, and display it to the massesIn a seemingly exalted format. They will say that this is the only truth,That any others will lead you astrayAnd turn your soul to ash. Do not be fooled.This is a hollow shell of the great truth,The empty and decaying chrysalisThat no two men will ever view the same. In reality, this is the cocoonThe absolute truth had to soar out fromBefore journeying up beyond the cliffs.If a man were to ever seek this truthHe begins in a dark simulation,Where all the new children of men are bornWith misled eyes. He must ascend alone,Armed only with a simple climbing axeCalled choice. If a man should reach the summitOf veracity, he will discoverThe pointlessness with which all others persistIn their motions. Compared to the one truthOn the high peak, everything seems useless. This is because, despite man's achievements,Love is the real, final resolution,The solitary absolution of sin,And the single quantifiable truthThat gives a value to being a man.This is the truth, which you may align withOr disregard pursuing mirages. Only love, the rightly miraculous,Immaculate conception of mankindCan transcend the very realms of divinityOr desire, and exist gloriouslyAs truth. Clearly our finest creation,Love just is, and exists for its own sake.This pinnacle of our young legacy,One that belongs to all who accept itAs their avatar, is our greatest hopeFor everlasting continuity. Edited January 26, 2014 by Cederak Quote Cederak's Library l Blog: Fair Enough Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grant-Sud Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 (edited) I'm no poet, but for me, this was done very well. I really enjoyed the meaning behind all the different "truths", and I'm glad that you placed all of those aside to finish it off with that what's important is helping one another first. At least that's what I got from this. It wasn't too wordy and really pulled me in. Nice job Cederak, though I'm probably not the best person to review this, I really enjoyed this a lot!(And congrats for making your first CoT poem a fresh one that isn't dark/depressing/drama!) Edited October 27, 2012 by Quote (Mr. Traveler) Quote The Island with a Lot of CavesCurly Brace | Sue | King | Polar Star | Outer Wall Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cederak Posted October 28, 2012 Author Share Posted October 28, 2012 Thanks for the review, Mr. Traveler. I know that a lot of CoT stories fall into the "dark/depressing/drama" categories, and I like branching out of that to offer a new direction around here. Admittedly, looking back, I have some questions of my own about the poem, but your take on it summed up my ideas rather nicely. Fun fact: Each line is exactly 10 syllables, which made for more of an interesting challenge, but enjoyable to write all the same. -Ced Quote Cederak's Library l Blog: Fair Enough Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel Posted March 8, 2013 Share Posted March 8, 2013 Official Short Stories Critics Club Charity Review Hello. Let me just say that this was all together a joy to read out load. The care you put into constructing this really shows, and it gives this poem an almost blank verse feel. You manage to give this an archaic edge without forcing it, and the result is altogether amazing. Now saying that, once you've followed the rules, it's okay to break them a little. Not even Shakespeare had his syllables even all the time, and I see some parts where you sacrifice the rhythm to meet your syllable requirement. Only men make facts, and only men wishFor classifications of what is real. I would suggest "to classify reality," for the last line. It sounds much stronger. Just remember to keep tense constant.If a man were to ever seek this truthHe would begins in a dark simulation,Where all the new children of men are born "New children" is a bit redundant. I would suggest. "Where all children of humankind are born." (I swear it wasn't for feminist reasons. XD Just sounds better.) The last lines were really the only parts of the poem that I disliked, unfortunately. As their avatar, is our greatest hopeFor everlasting continuity. Who's avatar are you talking about? Everlasting continuity is doubly redundant (=P). I would honestly just scrap these and come up with some better ones that capture the soul of your poem more. Those axioms around which certain lawsHave been inexorably established.A happy monster that has devouredMen consensually for centuries.And in finality, I will squee over these lines, because the juxtaposion of sounds in both of them is just awesome. Keep writing. ^^ Quote There's a dozen selves inside you, trying to be the one to run the dials [BZPRPG Profiles] Hatchi - Talli - Ranok - Lucira - Ferellis - Morie - Fanai - Akiyo - Yukie - Shuuan - Ilykaed - Pradhai - Ipsudir And some aren't even on your side. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkyLandOceAnna Posted March 10, 2013 Share Posted March 10, 2013 I found this poem to be very profound and I enjoyed your take on 'truth' and admire the length you were able to give to this poem. Quote Wordsmith <3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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