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A blog by Sumiki in General

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Blogarithm Contest #6: Topic Closed!

Sumiki

Entry posted by Sumiki

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bc6.png

 

Life as a Forum Assistant certainly has its perks: namely, topic closing. It's kind of fun, though I've only closed one so far. If I assisted in Q&A, COT, or GD, I'd be able to close topics on a more frequent basis, but I'm not complaining.

 

Topic closing comes with a downside, though. Some FAs - like me - are expected to be funny, for some reason. Oh, sure, I could go with two- or three-word closing statements, but that's no fun at all, since they're used all the time by others. The clever and hilarious topic closings go down in BZPower history, right above famous staff name changes and right below inane spam topics.

 

So, your mission: Write up a topic closing post. Speech? Parody? Story? Nonsensical poetry? It's totally up to you. Post it as a comment here in this entry. The entries will then be divided and placed in polls, and whoever's entry wins will end up as an actual topic-closed post. You can enter as many times as you wish.

 

You have until September 26th, 2012 at 11:59 PM Eastern Time to submit entries - so what are you waiting for? Get writing!

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Reznas

2. bzp_13.png

 

"Don't break the rules! If you do, I will come to you with an AK47 and shoot you. Break the rules again, and I will shoot you. Topic closed."

 

-Rez

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Sumiki

Sumiki, permission to use some of these, even if they don't win?

Granted. In fact, I was planning on doing the same. :P

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LewaLew

What!? How'd you--!? Oh, well, you may have made it past my plunger locks, the double plunger locks, the laser locks, the electric locks, and the motorized locks, made it past all of my guards and sentries, and broken every BZP rule in the book, but YOU'LL NEVER MAKE IT PAST MY TOPIC LOCKS! Why? BECAUSE YOU CAN'T! I am the Evil Ogel, Sumiki, and I cannot be stopped!

 

gallery_40113_79_3711.jpg

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Daiker

Okay, actual entry time:

 

SUMIKI Level 42

 

VERSUS

 

TOPIC Level 40

 

HIT!

 

>Use Disk

>Ko-Metru (L2,9/10UP)

 

STRONG ATTACK!

 

HIT!

 

>Use Mask

>Mask of Topic-Closing

 

STUNNED!

 

Victory!

 

Experience Gained

134

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Xaeraz

It's astounding.

Quality's fleeting.

Nub-ness. Takes its toll.

 

But read here closely.

Not for very much longer.

I've got to. Take control.

 

I REMEMBER. CLOSING A TOPIC.

POSTING. THOSE MOMENTS WHEN.

THE BLACK SIX WOULD HIRE ME.

AND THE DEEVEE WOULD BE CALLING.

 

LET'S CLOSE A TOPIC AGAAAAAIN.

LET'S CLOSE A TOPIC AGAAAAAIN.

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a goose

This was a failure.

I'm making a note here: TOPIC CLOSED!

It's hard to overstate your embarrassment.

BZPower Staff

We do what we must,

Because we can.

For the good of all of us,

(Except the ones who are banned)

But there's no sense crying over every mistake

You just keep on trying 'til you topics don't break

All the BZPower Rules,

And you'll feel really cool,

And maybe your topics won't be closed.

 

But for now... topic closed!

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LewaLew

This one's somewhat feeble, but I felt like posting it anyway.

 

I once locked a topic in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.

 

Topic sat on by an elephant in pajamas.

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Toa Smoke Monster

Third entry:

 

Hey man, this topic breaks the rules, which makes it uncool, and which makes me a fool if I let it live while it breaks said rules. So now I will do what I came here to do:

 

Topic closified.

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