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Globe Circumnavigated

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Globe Circumnavigated

Exercise Line To Come

 

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A placid Kapura returned yesterday to a triumphant Ta-Koro as he reputedly became the first known Matoran to circumnavigate the globe.  His return marks the end of a harrowing journey of unknown length but suspected to have lasted at least several hours.

 

The very red Matoran, far from out of breath, calmly informed dazzled onlookers how his years of unspecified practicing had finally paid off, allowing him to traverse the entire world without even breaking a sweat.  “It was really nothing,” insisted Kapura.  “If you go slowly enough, you can get anywhere very quickly.”

 

The modestly business-savvy explorer has been quick to negotiate several merchandising deals, including an exercise video line backed by several very enthusiastic Le-Koronans: “Getting Fit with Fikou.”  A commercial set to air later this week reportedly features Kapura jumping up and down while swapping an innocent Fikou’s orange Pakari for his own.

 

Ta-Koro Guard Captain Jaller had nothing but praise for a Matoran who he claims will always have a special place in his heart.  “We always knew there was something special about Kapura,” he said wisely.  “No one was really sure what it was, though.”

 

But not everyone is so pleased with these events.  The circumnavigation is being disputed by infamous Chronicler Takua, who instead claims that he was the first Matoran to have rounded the globe, citing a poorly-drawn map of mostly unknown foreign continents.  Takua was seen hurriedly entering a hut with a nervous Tamaru, a small bag of widgets, and a box of crayons shortly before this press release.

 

Turaga Vakama has assured citizens that he will launch a full investigation of Kapura and Takua’s supposed feats just as soon as he returns from the opening of Matau’s fancy new restaurant.  “What?  They have caviar,” he shrugged.

 

Kapura has nevertheless enjoyed his newfound status of celebrity.  Security at the Ta-Koro post office has tightened following several attempts by crazed Ga-Matoran to smuggle themselves inside packages and directly into Kapura’s hut.  Sources close to Kapura revealed that these lovelorn Matoran may be wasting their time anyway: “He’s still practicing, you know.”

 

In unrelated news, most of Po-Koro’s Koli team remains missing, having left Ta-Koro with the goal of circumnavigating the globe, too.

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“If you go slowly enough, you can get anywhere very quickly.”

...really?

 

Really!  Just try playing MNOG (if you can find it), and you'll see!  (Of course, your definitions of slowly or quickly may vary.)


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Yeah, Kapura's famed ability to paradoxically travel great distances while moving slowly made for a good bit of nonsense to base this story around. :P I'm in the camp of people who just accept it as being a lesson about patience, even if it doesn't literally make sense. I think Petewa was probably just joking and knows the reference, though! :P

 

And by the way, Templar actually re-released the MNOLG a couple years ago, and if you can't find a place to download it (I downloaded it from somewhere on BZP back on the old forums), you can actually just play it online on Templar's website! This has probably already been discussed long before, but one advantage to playing the new Templar version compared to the downloaded one I have is that the Rahi at the Kini-Nui are randomly selected instead of being the same sequence every time you play.

 

Anyway, thanks for reading, everyone, I hope you enjoyed this one! The MNOLG is definitely where most of these stories get their inspiration from! :)

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What's your next idea for a comedy? Is it going to be about Kapura farting? :P


If you like Pingu & want to support a good project, click here. Also, I've rejoined the BZPRPG & I have a new profile for a new game. Click here to see it.

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I just finished reading all of your comedies linked in your sig, and I have to say that they are all funny. Keep it up! :)

 

 

 

But not everyone is so pleased with these events.  The circumnavigation is being disputed by infamous Chronicler Takua, who instead claims that he was the first Matoran to have rounded the globe, citing a poorly-drawn map of mostly unknown foreign continents.  Takua was seen hurriedly entering a hut with a nervous Tamaru, a small bag of widgets, and a box of crayons shortly before this press release.

Lol. 

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