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Thoughts on Representation


Kaleidoscope Tekulo

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Personally I like the aspect of a hardened character feeling cheated out of a normal life. I could relate to that on the level of my personal orientation and how it's viewed. Arguably being gay for me is linked to a personal loss in a way. (I am not saying it is this way for every gay person ever, every situation is different, and yes, there are LGBT+ people out there who could have always been comfortable with their orientation and I do not mean to imply otherwise. Tl;dr, please agree to disagree with me on this, I'm trying to speak for myself here, not to speak over anyone else. Sorry if this is annoying, but we're talking about representation here, and arguably I'm not the easiest person to read, and this is a text-based communication which is more or less proven to make people read too much into things, so here we are).

 

Basically, for me, being aware of my orientation and choosing to remain closeted at a young age has put a damper on literally every personal relationship I have ever formed. I'm still not out to my parents, and I love my family (despite me being angsty). I'm more or less convinced at this point that coming out to them would change things. There are loads of people telling people like me stuff like "haters gonna hate" and "don't let them get to you" but when someone problematic is that close to me, honestly, it makes things challenging. And when I don't know how someone will react to my orientation, then this really horrible thing happens: I doubt. My brain goes into overdrive and I think of every potentially horrible thing they could do to hurt me. I will say this again, I love my family. But the truth is, if I told them right now, things would be bad for both them and me, to put it lightly. It gets to the point where I feel the need to map out a battle plan to tell them about a part of my identity. I need to use tact and keep my wits about me just to communicate a part of my identity to my family. And honestly? It's stressful. I find myself wishing my situation could resemble that of a majority; an orientation that was considered normalized. If I were the norm, though (heterosexual) then that would be the equivalent to sacrficing a part of my integrity and personal identity. That isn't an option for me. I'm having such a hard time dealing with all of this that honestly, I don't want to tell my parents to spare them from everything I am dealing with. And there is more to it than just that, there are also selfish reasons, but I'll digress.

 

So, if that was the idea they were going with; a character that put up a stiff upper lip but also longed for a life that was socially considered "normal" then it's true that I could probably relate to that character on some level. The issue with that is, what character representation do I consider I have as a gay man with this in mind?

 

There's Danny Phantom. He kept a secret from his parents who were prejudiced against a part of his identity. I can relate to him to a point on some level. The moment where Jazz told Danny that she was there for him, and that even if he thought she wouldn't understand, he could tell her anything. Take notes people; you never know who is closeted and who needs support (and I need to follow that advice because honestly I kinda suck at this myself). Though, he was shipped with Wes. He was also half ghost and could turn intangible and fly.

 

There's Aang; a protagonist who suffered a personal loss and initially kept his identity as the Avatar a secret. He did it because the airbending kids treated him differently after they knew he was the Avatar. He also valued pacifistic means even when he faced the Big Bad. Respect. Though, he was shipped with Katara. Also he grew up as a monk unlike me, and he was a master airbender by age twelve, was frozen for one hundred years and was besties with a giant two ton floating bison.

 

There's Lewa. He goofed up and messed up time after time. But he also learned and his experience has saved the toa and helped them to better understand their enemies. But he's a biomechanical robot with air powers that can't decide on which dialect to use.

 

There's Korra; a character who struggled and worked through a lot of personal issues (something I'm in the process of doing to seek help). Her orientation has also been confirmed to fit in the LGBT+ spectrum, which I personally find awesome. She also did master all four elements and has a light spirit living inside of her.

 

There's Mulan. She struggles with an inner image and fights for equal treatment and respect. But she's also a war hero that works with a travel-sized-for-her-convenience dragon.

 

There's also Katara who had suffered a personal loss and arguably allowed that loss combined with a betrayed trust to become prejudiced (against Zuko). Katara hated him. You know how Zuko handled it? He asked why and questioned how to fix the problem and did something about it. Even when Aang tried to talk her out of her revenge scheme, he acknowledged that it was a journey that she had to take, but pleaded her to reconsider and forgive the man that took her mother from her. And she never forgave him. But she was still able to move past it and forgave Zuko. And... that's the kind of character I truly admire because I see a lot of myself in that, especially during my life right now. It's like, finally a story was saying it's okay to break down, let it out and then move on. And that it didn't make me any less human to feel like Katara. Though, she is a waterbender and she did get kinda murderous.

 

There's Modern Family with Mitchel and Cameron. Mitchel has a few scenes with his personal relationship with his father, a less than progressive man. There are a few scenes that are way feelsy to me on that level. The fact that Mitchel and his father can coexist even while being on opposed sides is... it's not fantastic, arguably, seeing that my own situation could lead to (and likely will lead to imo) passive aggressive turmoil with my family over something like this, but the fact that there is an area of media that I consume that addresses that issue in a small way is... I don't even have the words for how happy that makes me feel. Cameron also deals with members of his family that are less than tolerant (his grandmother, iirc). But, look at that. I'm a single dude who has never had a relationship and I am also not a father, nor do I plan to have children.

 

These are just the characters that came to mind off the top of my head. I mean, to someone else who doesn't know my situation, this could sound like a whiny complaint. However, only two of these characters are gay men. Am I supposed to be content with the fact that only a handful of the characters I like share my orientation?

 

There's also a flip side to this: A lot of villain characters tend to have tragic backstories where life was unfair and they tried to change things (Like Kuvira. It's also why I personally love how Korra said she saw a lot of herself in Kuvira, and yet Korra considers everyone's best interests when trying to help change the world, unlike Kuvira). I could go on about this, but it's probably an entry for another day. I'm rambling way too much with this one as it is.

 

This all can sound very silly, even borderline stupid and nitpicky, but consider this: I am a person who, from a young age, has felt rejected by a number of things. The religion my parents follow arguably has a dogma against people like me. The opinions and preconceived notions my parents have formed by not supporting LGBT+ rights has lead me to doubt them (and it is a religion I feel they want me to follow, so that can make me feel like I'm simply not enough). The opinions from childhood friends who thought gays were something to be feared lead me to doubt them and myself, and so I cut ties. The bullies that picked on me for being overweight had lead to me doubting that I could ever be happy with my body type. The decision I made when I came out to my brothers has lead me to questioning whether or not they will out me to my parents. Coming out on this site has lead me to worry that I will merely be seen as a pedantic, complaining fool. It has also made me worry there will be people who will say I'm only pretending to be gay in order to reap the rewards of a handful of upvotes. I have worried, feared and stressed and felt a need to validate myself to all of these. And now I feel I have to turn around and do the same pedantics for character representation out of a sense of duty.

 

When talking about fictional works, there is an argument that "We're talking about a fictional story where x shoots y from their z. You are looking too far into this. You cannot relate to this situation because you are a and they are b."

 

Heck, I even remember a bunch of backlash when J.K. Rowling revealed that Dumbledore was gay. Personally I think it's awesome to see a gay character in a popular story.

 

Know who were the ones with the backlash? The people nitpicking like me; what I'm doing right now.

 

This is my life. I see contradiction after contradiction and I feel the only way to move forward is to press on in some way, shape or form. It's exhausting, but if I don't start working on this, then what good am I ever going to be to anyone else? And that's my personal opinion. Not everyone needs to agree with it. But it's mine. I get to decide what I feel, I get to form my own opinions, and that is not an objective stance anyone else gets to decide. And my opinions are going to change with more information I take in. It's a life long process.

 

When talking about representation, I feel the need to use tact whenever I express an opinion on what I do and do not relate with. I already face that in almost every other aspect of my life because of my orientation. But, if I don't automatically fall in love completely with any scrap of representation I'm expected to relate to because of someone else's opinion (You're gay, they're gay, you should be relating, so stop complaining), then I am "whining" and "some people just can't be satisfied" and "oh, that's cute, the peanut gallery is complaining again."

 

A part of me is totally fed up with feeling a need to validate my existence for almost every aspect of my life. But giving up and quitting isn't going to help anyone.

 

Feminism is a movement that is working to fix this. Even if I can't catch a break on some level, it could mean the next kid with a similar situation to mine can be less stressed out over what I am stressing out about. The only way that is going to happen, in my opinion, is with proper communication of the issues. And I guess that's why I'm blogging this entry right now.

 

Am I a feminist? I question that, actually, like I question everything. Still, the more I look into the issues, the more educated I'll become, and the more my opinions will change. It's why I'm looking into LGBT+ literature right now to fill in an educational gap that I should have done the moment I realized my orientation was queer, imo.

 

So, comments on this entry will be allowed. However, I will filter comments on this entry because this is sensitive stuff here. Feel free to disagree and debate in a respectful tone (I actually encourage that), but please do not just get angry that my opinions don't match your own. Feel free to send me personal comments via PM, but just know I have every right to not care that you're upset with me, the same way you have every right to not care that I posted a blog entry.

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I mean, I know this isn't speaking for myself, but last I checked the Trans Girl Tamaru headcanon wasn't met with open arms from everyone. Isn't that just more ignorance? Couldn't that easily be part of an overall problem?

Okay I have a problem with this statement here. I've kept this quiet for a while but I'll say it now, I don't like the Trans girl Tamara thing. Why? Because I'm a close minded bigot? No not even close. My reason is the evidence supporting it is incredibly flimsy and had some shotty reasoning (Tamaru's name sounds feminine? So does Takua). it also used nonexistent evidence as well. How do we know Tamaru's body build is more feminine or masculine? All the matoran bodies in MNOG II looked the same only varying in color. How do we know Tamaru tried to make his voice sound feminine? The rest is pretty much fanfiction. To see people embrace something because "OMG A TRANS CHARACTER!!" And ignoring how weak the case for the headcanon is just make it worse.

 

Also imo Trans Tamaru implies a Trans character can't be their own character. They have to be a pre-existing character, if we apply this to the real world it means a Trans person irl can't make it without the help of a cis person. See how offensive that sounds? So there, before you generalize try looking for pieces of the puzzle and understand the story.

 

That's my piece. Thank you for listening. Also not gonna deny that there are probably actually bigots who hate Trans Tamaru but they're most likely a minority.

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Hmm, you're right. Well, I do disagree with a few points, but overall I made this entry to speak for myself. There's really only so much I can say about that issue. I guess that was insensitive of me. I'll remove that point from the entry.

 

Thank you for the reply.

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cripes tek sorry but i gotta say something to this response im sorry, i hope its still relevant since it involves representation and im kinda speaking from my own pov as a trans person so thats what it all revolves around but yeah sorry for the impending wall of text

 

 

Okay I have a problem with this statement here. I've kept this quiet for a while but I'll say it now, I don't like the Trans girl Tamara thing. Why? Because I'm a close minded bigot? No not even close. My reason is the evidence supporting it is incredibly flimsy and had some shotty reasoning (Tamaru's name sounds feminine? So does Takua). it also used nonexistent evidence as well. How do we know Tamaru's body build is more feminine or masculine? All the matoran bodies in MNOG II looked the same only varying in color. How do we know Tamaru tried to make his voice sound feminine? The rest is pretty much fanfiction. To see people embrace something because "OMG A TRANS CHARACTER!!" And ignoring how weak the case for the headcanon is just make it worse.


Also imo Trans Tamaru implies a Trans character can't be their own character. They have to be a pre-existing character, if we apply this to the real world it means a Trans person irl can't make it without the help of a cis person. See how offensive that sounds? So there, before you generalize try looking for pieces of the puzzle and understand the story.

 

alright look pal as the trans person who came up with the trans tamaru headcanon im at an absolute loss as to why youre feeling the need to nitpick so hard at that specifically. since this is an entry about representation i think im going to put in my two cents, as a trans person

 

> Why? Because I'm a close minded bigot? No not even close. 

 

im going to stop you right there and tell you that its not really your place to decide whether or not youre being a good person in this regard because if you just up and decide "oh, im a good person already" then it shuts you out from learning to be an even better person.

 

anyway that said

 

 

> My reason is the evidence supporting it is incredibly flimsy and had some shotty reasoning (Tamaru's name sounds feminine? So does Takua). it also used nonexistent evidence as well. How do we know Tamaru's body build is more feminine or masculine? All the matoran bodies in MNOG II looked the same only varying in color. How do we know Tamaru tried to make his voice sound feminine? The rest is pretty much fanfiction.

 

youre uh. yeah youre using headcanon material to sit there and shut down a thing thats ... a headcanon ... ? you might think the canon reasoning used is flimsy but? i didnt?

 

also, you cant say tamaru DIDNT do those things. because its all headcanon. fanfiction. we can argue til the cows come home but the fact remains that you cant prove these things didnt happen, and yet youre still adamant on it

 

 

> To see people embrace something because "OMG A TRANS CHARACTER!!" And ignoring how weak the case for the headcanon is just make it worse.

 

have you ever considered that maybe a lot of the people supporting the headcanon were trans people? we get like almost no positive representation at all? nobody cares about evidence because the headcanon literally isnt hurting anyone

 

ans also, relying on "visible evidence" for someone being trans, even a fictional character, is kinda really bad? because youre sitting here relying on tropes and stereotypes on how trans people should act and thus are basing your entire opinion on that.

 

 

> Also imo Trans Tamaru implies a Trans character can't be their own character. They have to be a pre-existing character, if we apply this to the real world

 

this is literally the most rotten tripe ive seen all week tbh. just because someone headcanons an existing character as trans it doesnt magically make them a different character

 

youre literally saying "if we apply this to the real world" when buddy guess what, it already does. let me get real irl personal here: i distinctly remember like. a couple weeks ago? i literally heard my mom crying in the other room because she still thinks that because because my brother and i are both trans, she had to "bury her kids". she literally thinks we somehow replaced her old kids or something and like were entirely new people. everyone else in my family is also particularly dead set on calling me by my birthname and referring to me as male because ill always be "their little boy" to them. as if i am an entirely new person

 

i hate to tell you this pal, but that thing literally happens all the time in real life to trans people everywhere

 

anyway, i also hate the fact that youre implying its on the shoulders of people seeking representation to just make their own, because  (1) that doesnt always work because someone doing that usually ends up attracting hate from the majority and  (2) it should already be up to the creators of popular content to do that as well, because then more people will see it and be able to relate to it than if an independent creator saw it. obviously there are a few exceptions but for the most part, thats what happens

 

i could sit here and make trans ocs all the live long day, and thats all fine and dandy, but ultimately its still entirely up to me to make my own representation, which shouldnt have to happen. especially since ultimately, my ocs arent part of anything. at all.

 

meanwhile, fitting tamaru into a trans narrative, which honestly isnt that hard considering theres barely any actual canon info because tamaru is such a minor character, is better and more satisfying for a lot of people because its an existing and familiar character, so we can feel more like were a part of a story with characters like us

 

 

> it means a Trans person irl can't make it without the help of a cis person

 

newsflash pal, i can attest to the fact that this literally happens in real life but it isnt because were weak and helpless and try to fit our experiences into fictional characters, its because cis people like to screw us over at absolutely every turn, from major things like yknow, killing us and leaving us homeless and denying us proper care, to minor like trying to speak over us when we try to talk about our experiences and yelling at us when we try to identify with a character because cis writers cant be bothered to give us any proper representation, thus leaving us absolutely alienated and feeling like we dont belong

 

 

> See how offensive that sounds? So there, before you generalize try looking for pieces of the puzzle and understand the story.

 

yeah that. that is offensive brah and i dont know what youre trying to prove by pulling out something that actually happens and using it to shut us up. it sounds like the person who needs to learn to look at things before generalizing is you, especially since this is an entry about wanting to find representation, and thats exactly what this original post is about?

 

 

at least thats what im getting out of it god sorry again tek good solid entry very relateable but that comment got to me sorry again because it felt like it missed the entire point of the entry sorry for the absolute wall of text

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@Caesar Zeppeli

 

There is no need for an apology to me. You are entitled to your opinion as a trans person the same way I am entitled to my opinion as a gay person. I was honestly hoping someone like you would add in a different perspective to the debate. I'm a firm believer in speaking for myself, and I did mention that was the overall goal for this entry. While I personally see evidence to suggest I'm nonbinary on some level (which can be considered within the transspectrum), I also think that I am not personally binary trans. Basically, I didn't think it was my place to speak over binary trans people; I believe they are capable of speaking for themselves. That is why I decided to remove that point from the entry.

 

I was going to add another blog entry with my thoughts on Dumbledore's representation as a gay character in Hary Potter and explain why as a gay man I personally don't find it offensive (the argument is similar to yours. I'll jot down my thoughts at a later date).

 

While your tone of text can come off as aggressive, I also greatly value your input as a trans person and the creator of the headcanon. (Again, sorry if this is tedious, but this is a subject I feel I should handle with care).

 

Thank you for your reply.

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Well this should be fun. Where to begin?

 

> Why? Because I'm a close minded bigot? No not even close. im going to stop you right there and tell you that its not really your place to decide whether or not youre being a good person in this regard because if you just up and decide "oh, im a good person already" then it shuts you out from learning to be an even better person.
Number 1: the reason I said that is because the usual response to saying someone doesn't like Trans Tamaru is "you're just a bigot." Number 2: I can say with certainty none of my reasons for disliking your head canon had to do with the fact it involved a Trans character.

 

youre uh. yeah youre using headcanon material to sit there and shut down a thing thats ... a headcanon ... ? you might think the canon reasoning used is flimsy but? i didnt? also, you cant say tamaru DIDNT do those things. because its all headcanon. fanfiction. we can argue til the cows come home but the fact remains that you cant prove these things didnt happen, and yet youre still adamant on it
First, I never said that you couldn't have your headcanon. I was only stating the reasons why I didn't like it. If it did come off that way then that wasn't my intention.Second the burden of proof rests on the person making the claims, which in this case is you. YOU are the one who said Tamaru made his body more feminine. YOU are the one who said Tamaru took lessons to make his voice feminine. All I did was ask "where did you find this?" It's called Russel's teapot. Saying that because I couldn't disprove they didn't happen means they could've happened is just plain lazy. If you make a claim you have to back it up. And so far the only claim you can back up is that Tamaru likes to swim. Show me in which book these things will happen and I will gladly change my position. Until then all the evidence you've provided hasn't convinced me at all.

 

have you ever considered that maybe a lot of the people supporting the headcanon were trans people? we get like almost no positive representation at all? nobody cares about evidence because the headcanon literally isnt hurting anyone
I honestly don't care who supports the headcanon. Besides when people like Seltz or xFirecorex (both of whom are Trans btw) say they don't like Trans Tamaru, they don't suddenly don't count.

 

ans also, relying on "visible evidence" for someone being trans, even a fictional character, is kinda really bad? because youre sitting here relying on tropes and stereotypes on how trans people should act and thus are basing your entire opinion on that.
Asking for proof =/= relying on stereotypes. All I asked was for you to prove that the events you said happened actually happened. I DID NOT say that Tamaru had to act like a stereotype in order to be trans. I also did not imply that sentiment either.

 

anyway, i also hate the fact that youre implying its on the shoulders of people seeking representation to just make their own,
Okay now you're putting words in my mouth. I did not say nor imply that it is the responsibility of the underrepresented to make their own characters. All I said was that in my opinion the headcanon said that a Trans character can't be their own character. They have to take over a pre-existing cis (male, white, straight) character in order to exist. They have to have someone who isn't Trans be the one to make the tough choices for them and handle the struggles. To be fair the way I typed that was horrendous and may have been hard to understand. But I think I have an analogy for it. I felt the Trans Tamaru headcanon was like saying a woman can't own a company without it being passed down to her by a man. Please note that that is merely an analogy. THAT'S WHAT I MEANT. That is what I felt like. That's all that I meant.

 

at least thats what im getting out of it god sorry again tek good solid entry very relateable but that comment got to me sorry again because it felt like it missed the entire point of the entry sorry for the absolute wall of text
And you missed the point of my comment. I was just pointing out Tekula was unintentionally generalizing people who didn't like the Trans Tamaru headcanon as ignorant or bigoted. All I was doing was explaining why i felt that was wrong and gave my reasons. Luckily he understood that and removed the comment. That was the ENTIRE point of my comment.
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There are a few small nitpicks I feel with some points overall, however one point has hopefully been made clear here: Generalizations can be dangerous.

 

I think Scanty was right in speaking up. I mentioned in my blog post I was speaking for myself. While writing the entry I gave a weak point. It was not my intention to imply that everyone who disliked the headcanon was bigoted or being transphobic.

 

My original point was that the fact it was made into a larger issue of tokenism was a sign of poor trans representation on the whole. It was a weak point and one that was poorly represented on my part.

 

However, Scanty, from what I could tell the main issue Caesar Zeppeli had was that your argument unintentionally implied that every person who is trans had a problem with the headcanon.

 

I think Caesar Zeppeli was right in speaking up.

 

And, yes, I believe I did recall some backlash from trans people on this site who took issue with the headcanon. I apologize for opening old wounds.

 

This, in my opinion, is where the concept of Tokenism gets tricky. I can see why adding Trans Girl Tamaru to the canon could potentially be an issue (S&T has its own system for adding story ideas to the main story, and the headcanon would need to meet the criteria for the Story Squad, I believe, or to get a confirmation from Greg, the main artist). However, for a headcanon, I believe that fits in the realm of fanfiction and anything goes.

 

In either scenario some people will agree with it, and others will disagree. The main reason it gained so much attention, in my opinion, is the poor representation of trans people on the whole.

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Thank you for being open minded about this mate. You're probably one of the first people to do so. Sorry I didn't mention that the first time.

 

However, Scanty, from what I could tell the main issue Clover had was that your argument unintentionally implied that every person who is trans had a problem with the headcanon.
Hmm...not sure where she got that from but that wasn't my point at all. My point was anyone who said they didn't like the headcanon were called transphobic and ignored which is wrong in my opinion. Though I do believe the two Trans people who said they didn't like it were called fake transsexuals and/or ignored. Memory is a bit fuzzy I will admit but I do know they were ignored. Either way I think the issue was over after you removed that tidbit. Which I honestly didn't expect to happen honestly. In short thank you for considering the other side.
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Personally I think she got it from the same place you got the notion that I thought every person who disliked the headcanon was transphobic and bigoted; intuition.

 

Sometimes it can be right, and sometimes it can be wrong.

 

At any rate, I disagree that the issue was over when I removed the point from the entry. You told me not to make a generalized statement because it could be considered offensive (even if it was not my intent to do so). You also did make a generalized statement which was taken the wrong way.

 

It happens. We're human. We all have our own issues to work past on some level.

 

Just because my family is problematic, that doesn't mean I won't come around eventually and that doesn't mean I don't love them. Just because someone says an insensitive phrase, that doesn't mean they can't be forgiven.

 

I have admitted to being ignorant, many times in this entry. I may still even be transphobic and arguably bigoted on some level myself. I am still unlearned in many aspects of gender studies, and so I will probably make many more insensitive remarks to other trans people before my life is over. Personally, I would rather admit that I am problematic and work to fix it even in a small way than try to use the benefit of the doubt to say I was never offensive to begin with. Because, if someone else says they felt offended by a word, that is their own opinion. It is up to them to decide if they were offended in the first place. When someone is offended by me, I do not get to decide that I did nothing wrong.

 

On some level, that was the point of this entry.

 

That said, there are still issues with what we have both said. I was speaking for Caesar Zeppeli by using my intuition. I'm sure she might have more to add to the discussion.

 

(Also, I asked a trans friend of mine. Transsexual is a term that could actually be considered dated. I was told "trans binary" and "fully trans" can refer to trans people on the gender binary. Nonbinary (what I currently identify with) can be considered "trans spectrum." I altered terminology above to match this as I was told they are generally considered less offensive.

 

At any rate, Caesar Zeppeli, if you have any more issues with anything that was said, please feel free to speak up.

 

I do not want to speak over anyone here. It was pointed out that it was insensitive of me to remove my comment before a trans binary person expressed whether or not it was offensive. I should have explained my case better when the issue came up. I apologize.

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I'm gonna say this flat-out -- The Trans Tamaru headcanon hurt nothing and no one. It made a lot of transgender fans (myself included) feel a lot more included and, to be honest? It was really cool when the idea caught on in some circles, it kinda made me feel more comfortable in those groups of people because there wasn't this immature decrying over "omg a trans character???  IN MY MEDIA??? HOW BOUT NO???" which, I'm sorry, but that's really all this boils down to anymore.

So yeah, whine and throw a tantrum over the existence of a trans headcanon because you can't personally stomach it. I don't care if some people don't like it? It's harmless, it's fun, it feels nice to have a character you can be like "yeah, I totally like this idea and it gives me a place in the world."

I mean, it's ridiculous to sit down and urinate on someone's parade because you don't like it for... what reasons? Flimsy evidence... ? Seriously, get your head out of S&T and take a breath of fresh air.

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I'm all for a discussion on representation and how media has lagged behind social consciousness, and how that in turn can hurt those marginalized by society.

 

I'm not for a discussion on how a headcanon that some people have and created to find representation for themselves in a piece of media is wrong, especially coming from the perspective of someone who's never had to search out for representation. Whether "all trans folks" like the Trans Tamaru headcanon or not (and the whole "my trans friends didn't like it so it's dumb" thing is so akin to "well my black friend said I can say it soooo you being uncomfortable with my use of that word is wrong too" that it's uncomfortable and frankly sort of inappropriate. People aren't props for your argument. One could say those folks aren't your sheild. ;) ).

 

We're not going to have a conversation about whether you like someone's headcanon in a blog entry on BZP. No more replies about it from here. We are not going to do this. Period. People are entitled to their headcanons, and they are entitled to finding representation and safe spaces without someone telling them to get lost because it reduces the number of cis folks in something or some other appaling argument. Nope. Not happening. And if it continues past this comment there will be disciplinary action.

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I feel as if my major problem with most forms of representation that I've seen is that they tend to latch onto the minority part and make it a huge part of who the character is.  Like it's always "This person is gay and also X" and not "This person is X and also gay."  And even that last one irritates me because I feel as if putting any emphasis on the gay part tends to make it a focus point of a character, which I can't really relate to because being gay isn't the end all be all of my existence.

 

Or this could just be my internalized homophobia.  Who knows.

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Nigel: LGBT+ literature is a great way to go. As far as your parents are concerned, I think hearing about how other people have dealt with this kinda thing could be a big help.

 

(also, depending on where you live, you can find community support structures to help you through this. It's always good to have someone there for you)

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I feel as if my major problem with most forms of representation that I've seen is that they tend to latch onto the minority part and make it a huge part of who the character is. Like it's always "This person is gay and also X" and not "This person is X and also gay." And even that last one irritates me because I feel as if putting any emphasis on the gay part tends to make it a focus point of a character, which I can't really relate to because being gay isn't the end all be all of my existence.

 

Or this could just be my internalized homophobia. Who knows.

Thank you. This helps.

 

@Paleo - Thanks. I've been seeking support in my own way for a little while now. As you can clearly see, I still have quite a ways to go in terms of figuring things out. Thanks for the tips.

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