An open letter to the people who like the things that I do not like:

Get over yourselves! Who do you think you are liking those things? Have you no self-respect? Have you no shame? They say there's no accounting for bad taste, but you take the cake. I bet you even took the worst flavour of cake. You have formed your opinions on incorrect or incomplete information and I lament the waste of humanity that you have become because of it.

An open letter to the people who do not like the things that I like:

What's the matter with you? Are you deaf, blind, and completely lacking of all sensory input? How could you not like those things? Did you even try them? Did you even deign to spend an instant of your precious time to gain a greater understanding of the world before retreating into the dank, enclosed prison of familiarity? It's people like you that have been a thorn in the side of true innovators and prevent society from reaching its full potential.

An open letter to the people who like the things I like:

Where do you get off liking the things that I like? Do you think that makes you better than me or even just as good by association? I will have you know that I like the things that I like to a much more appropriate degree than you do. Your varying amounts of interest and disinterest across a variety of subjects have been poorly allocated and your poor management of this has brought ill opinion upon me by association. Perhaps it would be best to reduce any revelations of your opinions on these matters until such time as I can verify your qualifications to do so.

An open letter to the people who don't like the things that I don't like:

Keep fighting the good fight, we'll beat them someday!