The Bones Diet
Entry posted by bonesiii
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Important points are bold.
Weight Loss Plan
Eat less.
Forever.
Mental Health Diet Regiment
All those veggy diets and such bleagh-ness neglect the importance of good taste for mental health. Besides, all the fancy schmancy diet intructions are murder on your sanity. Who cares about a flat stomach if you go insane?
Therefore: eat tasty stuff. Just less of it.
Cheese is good. Throw in a leaf of lettuce every once in a while if you feel like it. Try Honey Roasted Peanuts, they rock. Orange juice is cool. For meat... BK's Double Cheeseburgers. Aaaaaaaaaaaaw, yeeeee-uh!.
The Price
Just send me money! It works with all the other diets, right?
Testimonials
"I tried one of those liquid diet supplements, but I just kept putting on more weight. When you read the fine print for those things, it says it doesn't work without diet and exercise. I'm too lazy for exercise, and why bother with some extra supplement if the dieting is what actually does the trick? So I tried the Bones Diet, and voila! Dramatic weight loss! I've even turned the color of sharp cheddar cheese! Cheddar rocks, man!"
"I used to snack on Dark Hunters and anybody else I could get my Shadow Hand on, until I accidentally tried to eat a rock and ended up in a protocage for a few months. Not eager to repeat that experience, I tried the Bones Diet, and I can say I've most definately put the weight off!"
"Click whistle whistle tweet-chirp snap crackle pop whistle tweet tweet cluck caw cocka-doodle-dooooo! Raaaaahk! Polly wants a cracker! Raaaaahk! Polly wants a cracker! Raaaaahk!"
"Um... I have big bones."
"What are you staring at? Physics is backwards in my realm, remember?"
"Nice try, dude -- I'm on the Makuta diet."
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