I am in tears right now. I don't care if that incites someone to call me a wuss, really I don't.

It'll just make it more funny if and when it happens to you.

Here's the deal... every 10 years, like every 9th year of a decade it seems, I come across music (usually trance) that just OBLITERATES me.

My heart gets fast.

I get tears in my eyes.

My heart ACHES.

My breathing is fast

I'm holding my breath.

I feel happy.

I feel sad.

I loosen up and melt.

I tighten up like I'm about to enter a life and death fight.

I recede within myself.

I'm inspired to branch out.

I want to curl up in a ball.

I want to do something creative.

I guess it's a similar feeling to being in real love the first time.

10 years ago, it was stuff like that mentioned here: http://www.bzpower.com/forum/index.php?aut...=50474#comments

It was coming home from work after the graveyard shift and waking up in the afternoon to the various trance shows playing on WPRB Princeton 103.3

It was playing CDs like Sasha and Digweed - Northern Exposure : East Coast Edition.

It was driving 4 hours into upperstate New York to meet new friends, listening to techno all the way.

It was going to raves, seeing and hearing stuff that was so new and awesome you couldn't believe humanity had gone without it up until then.

And then... it seemed to just "vanish" from the mainstream as instantly as it had arrived.

No, faster.

By 2001, gone was most of the college trance radio shows.

Gone was the techno show MTV AMP... probably the last show I ever watched on that channel.

Techno DIED.

Devastating.

Similarly, 10 years before that, it was me going to New york City to raid the anime tables at scifi / comic conventions, all the while listening to R&B pop playing from the top (top top toptop toptoptoptop!) of the Empire State Building on my mini-FM radio.. WITHOUT having to tune it in (all the way back in Pennsylvania lol).

Not techno so much, but good music that was just not "white" enough to be played back in my state with any decent airtime.

I was almost out of school, I was driving for the first time...

...but by 1991... it was all but gone. Replaced by junk.

Oh, there was some darn good rock in the 90's, don't get me wrong. Very good, in fact!

But they didn't make me HURT.

They didn't jump into me.

Well, it's 2009. I felt music was shifting in 2008 (not the stuff on mainstream, terrestrial radio mind you).

I was waiting for it, losing hope of experiencing it again.

And tonight, I bumped into something that shot right through me.

http://www.djrii.com/sets/urtz/Rii%20-%20U...0Year%20Mix.mp3

That. Right there.

It's funny. I've been listening the past decade to the stuff on Sirius Satellite Radio from the UK, like the weekly "Essential Mix" stuff with Paul Oakenfold and any of the other popular DJs in the world.

And they're not bad, not at all. But there's something just redundant I can't quite put a finger on.

I like them, but I can walk away from them. Something's too "polished" with them... which in a way is "unpolished".

On top of that, I've listened to hundreds of garbage DJs not knowing what the heck they're doing too... that didn't help lol.

But this... it was like a hot spear through my chest. I'm listening to it right now in fact, getting choked up.

The pile of emotions that come from it are both hopeful and yet... man, I don't even know what I'm talking about lol.

It's happening again. It's the 9th year of the decade and I've been steamrolled by a set of trance done so right.

The difference this time is I already know that by 2011, my life will be much different and I'll probably have to wait for something awesome like this to come along again.

Oh well, enough blubbering about it.

If you know what I'm talking about, hey, lucky you.

If you don't, I hope you have some kind of equivalent, some kind of music that does this to you.

It's a good pain.

10/10 would cry again