Weighed down with words too

Overdramatic
Tonight it's "it can't get much worse"
Vs. "no one should ever feel like..."

I didn't ask her out. But at the end of the day, things turned out well - but the day isn't over yet.



She started texting me, I think after DB4Z called her. Just general stuff...I asked her if she was going to the dance (indirectly), but she had to go to bed, so I didn't find out.



I was too scared to ask her out - and b'sides, I don't think you should ever ask a girl out in a GYM.



I tried. I honestly tried. I was hoping she'd start talking to me, but she didn't, and I decided to ask her at the end of class. But she was literally surrounded by people, and I knew I wouldn't be able to summon up the courage to ask her in front of so many classmates. So I waited in the hopes that the crowd would clear...but it didn't.



I spent math in what you could call something short of mild depression, I guess. I literally cursed myself out...not something I'm particularly proud of, and it didn't really help my mood. I'm pretty sure I failed my math test because I was focused on her, not distance/midpoint formulas, angles...



So now, this is where we get into a whole lotta talk. I was pretty moody at the beginning of the dance...I kept saying I hated myself and stomping, and one of my friends told me to stop, so I started stomping, jumping up and down - hard. My legs are still aching from that.

I tried to get high on soda. XD I really did. It didn't work so well, and now I'm really tired.

She came over to our little gang (consisting of Bubo, Mail, Colt, Stewie, Chris, Mohawk, and I) and started, likkz, saying hi and stuff. Fistpunch thing, too. She came over to me after pretending to know who Colt was and asked to see my cell phone, and she was all over it for some reason. What, exactly, is special about a Razr? =DD She was all over mai kitty, too, which just so happened to be set as my background. I'm pretty sure she was trying to find something on my phone, though. xP

A little later, Stewie asked to see my phone, saying that he needed to check something. Me, being me, gave him the phone - and then realized just what he might be checking. By the time I got it back, he'd already found her number, and there was really nothing I could do about it.

So he gave it to Bubo, I think, and he txt'd her, told her I liked her (I think, never got the real story). Which led to me attempting to avoid her, because at this point I KNEW she knew I liked her.

If there's one thing that made this whole deal a hundred times more impossible, it's the male possy thing. It doesn't help my self-esteem to see her hugging boys. I couldn't know if she was with any of them. Ugh...



I just love that word, sorry.

Near the end of the dance, I decided to text her. I couldn't take it. I asked her if she was still there (it was nearing 4:30, the end of the dance) and I didn't know if she'd left already. Her reply was:

"yea wanna dance?"



I told her I was a terrible dancer. And I am. But I also said that I would try - but then the Chicken Dance came on.

You can probably imagine what I said...

Rather anticlimactic, irromantic, completely and utterly ironic. I didn't know where she was, in any case, and by the time I understood that "Near the From" meant "Near the Front", the Chicken Dance had ended. I spent most of the next song trying to find her, and the remainder of it trying to figure out how to actually get to her. I mean, she was surrounded by people. XD



There was one more song after that - Cyclone. I finally managed to get to her about midway through it, but almost immediately lost her again. But I did get to dance, even if it was for about ten seconds. XD But I did it. I did it, and that's the point. I finally did it.



Not quite the end of this, is it? It's safe to assume that most of my blogs next week will be about her, so...

Right now, I'm trying to get her on AIM. I need to talk to her about a few things...



DB4Z: I have to find out if he actually did tell her.

Bubo: I have to find out if he said anything.

Pity: If she does know, then I may ask her out, but if it's a pity thing...there's no way. She'd be wasting her time. I mean, she's a great girl, and I know she wouldn't want to make anyone upset, but I definitely don't want her to go out with me under the pretense that it would be heartbreaking for me if she didn't when she could go out with a boy she actually liked. Girls are great with emotions - but two can play at that game.