Chris: The Musical
Story Factory meme thingy!
Rules:
1. Load up Windows Media Player or MP3 player or some such thingy
2. Que your entire library, or the longest playlist you have
3. Turn on shuffle
4. Write down the first ten songs that come up
5. Somehow find a way to connect them into something resembling logical sense
6. You can use either the actual song content or just the titles (I'm personally using just titles)
1. Enough - Chris Tomlin
Once upon a time, there was a teenaged guy named Chris whose mom, every single morning, would give him a big old bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast. Big bowl of sauerkraut! Every single morning! It was driving him crazy! Until one day, his sanity gave out and he stomped downstairs with his sneakers hanging off his ears and a hairbrush sticking out of his sock, wearing nothing but a fluffy pink tutu (and the sock). He dashed into the middle of the kitchen, threw apart his arms, and bellowed, "ENOUGH! ENOUGH!"
2. Decay Mode - Valve
Unhappily for Chris, he then discovered that he had somehow walked into and spent the night in a cliche decaying haunted house by mistake. The skeletons and ghosts and wizards looked at him with expressions resembling "O_o," and he muttered something about "Those darn buses, never letting you know which one's your stop..." before sneaking out the door.
3. Never Let This Go - Paramore
It so happens that ghosts and skeletons not only have very long memories (which they need, seeing as they live pretty much forever and all), but also digital cameras and their own personal websites. Chris was unaware of this fact until every one of the pictures had been uploaded to a page titled "lol a guy in a tutu."
4. I Will - Sowelu
Chris frantically went to Google and searched "ways to get skeletons and ghosts to delete embarrassing photos off their websites without angering them into haunting you for the rest of your short days." He was fortunate enough to find a helpful website, which informed him that the best way to get on any skeleton's good side is to show that you tolerate and embrace their differences by joining into their family.
In an attempt to save his dignity at any cost, Chris returned to the haunted mansion (properly dressed this time) and dropped to his knees in front of the skeleton chief. "Your highness! I have come to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage!"
5. Kom Hall Om Mig - Caramel
Sadly, this was simply not Chris's lucky day. As it so happened, the skeleton chief had never had any daughters and this was a very sore subject with him. Chris went home followed by a parade of disgruntled ghosts and skeletons, all of which stayed closer to him than the creepiest stalker, and moaned, groaned, and yodeled all night. After three sleepless weeks and a lot of strange looks at work, he knew that there was no help for it -- it was time to flee to Sweden.
6. Rest - Skillet
At last! With a sigh of contentment, he enjoyed what had to be the most delicious sleep he had ever tasted. The ghosts and skeletons had protested loudly as he boarded the plane, having grown rather attached to him (not that it was mutual), but none of them had renewed their passports in several decades and were stuck waving their handkerchiefs mournfully. Their saddened faces haunted his mind for a moment, but were quickly buried under a barrage of blissful Zs.
7. Come Right Out And Say It
So Chris lived there and did stuff and such and such, and then he met this amazing girl and dated her for two whole weeks and then proposed but then, gasp! Drama! There was something that she utterly refused to tell him! What could it be!? Tearing up his pillows in agony, beating his head against the wall, and staring at her while holding a big sign with a sadface emoticon on it had had no effect! There was only one thing left to do... ask her to come right out, and... say it.
8. Concrete Girl - Switchfoot
Chris was shocked beyond belief. After knowing her for so long -- fourteen days, two weeks, one fortnight! A century in mayfly terms! -- how could he never have known!? How could she have kept it quiet for all that time!? But now that he knew the truth, there was no way to do anything but accept it -- she was a statue.
9. Magical Picture Books - Final Fantasy (Chocobo Tales)
After tearfully kissing her stone feet goodbye, he staggered down the street, certain he could never love again. Although his parents had warned him about girls with hearts of stone, he had always brushed it away... yet now... but that was all behind him. He buried his face in a handkerchief and sobbed. However, it is very difficult to see where you are going when your face is buried in a handkerchief, and before he had a chance to remove it, he had tripped over a cobblestone and fallen facefirst into a magical picture book that just happened to be there for some reason, and been teleported to another dimension.
10. The Water Buffalo Song - Veggietales
Chris sat up, unable to believe his eyes. Water buffalo of every color pranced, twirled, and spun gracefully among the tulips in a display of grace and poise he never thought water buffalo could have! His eyes grew wide with wonder. As he stared and stared, eyes as big as plates, a water buffalo came up behind him and put a hoof on his shoulder.
"Look here, sonny," said the water buffalo, pointing to a sign, "Don't you see that this here's private property?"
"But," said Chris, eyes tearing up again, "This place is so beautiful..."
The water buffalo looked him up and down, then nodded knowingly. "I see... sonny, have you always felt that maybe you don't belong? That you don't really... fit in? That maybe, all this time, you've been something you weren't meant to be?"
Chris gasped. "Do you mean... I'm really a water buffalo!?"
"No, you ninny," said the water buffalo. "Have you ever looked in the mirror!? Gosh!"
"I know," Chris admitted, "But I was hoping that it could magically turn out I was one and then I could live here and this could end happily ever after."
"I don't see how that's going to work, seeing as you're not a buffalo and all," said the water buffalo. "But hey, here's what I'll do. I've got a spare coupon for a Whopper Jr. at Macdonalds -- you just take it right over there and get yourself a nice burger so we can go back to dancing in peace, okay?"
"Okay!" Chris happily took the coupon, hugged it, and skipped through the tulips to the Macdonalds as the credits music began to play in the background.
The End
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