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Showing results for tags 'Musings'.
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Bumped for continued relevance, one year later. The Oklahoma City Bombing was (and remains) the largest act of domestic terrorism in the United States' history. It happened on April 19, 1995, five days after my little brother was born, as he lay, barely living in the NICU, five weeks premature. I was in second grade. And we were afraid. Nineteen children, all under the age of six, died in the Murrah Building blast. I am an Oklahoman, and proud to be from Tulsa. Oklahoma City is a mere hour drive from my home, and I have visited the memorial countless times. As an Oklahoma, I grew up after this event with a very angry and hateful feeling towards Timothy McVeigh, the man responsible for this horrible moment. A moment that affected the families of people I knew, relatives of friends. People I knew never saw their uncles, their aunts, their new cousins ever again. There is a pain in grief akin to nothing else. And the second worst pain may be to watch someone grieving, and be helpless in action. I have watched my state grieve for fifteen years. I watched as Timothy McVeigh was executed on television. And I cheered. Oklahoma cheered. And another family lost their son. Grief has the power to change our perceptions. To distort reality as we attempt to cope with events so out of our control. From our grief, we let fear grip our hearts. And when we let fear grip our hearts, we lashed out in hate. Terrorism strives to strike fear into people, to make them aware of the frailty of the institutions they cling to. To leave them exposed. And the OKC Bombing succeeded. So we clung to the one institution we knew would never fail us- violence. And we let our fear claim us. So today, as an Oklahoman, I vow to let it go. There comes a time when grief has stayed longer than it should be welcome, when we have allowed this stranger the comforts of our roof and bed. No longer shall I allow the sway of one man's actions hold such power over my life. For fear and hatred shackle us to the past, and they inhibit our ability to look forward. When Timothy McVeigh was injected with death, when he breathed his last mortal breath, all that fear, all that hatred, was left with nowhere to go, nowhere to turn. So it grows restless, it lashes out, and it burns outwards from within, consuming as it grows. So, Timothy McVeigh: Your actions were inexcusable, and the consequences unimaginable. Lives are still touched by your ripple, and the very fabric of too many lives, some I know personally, were forever frayed and torn. But your actions were not the only evil. The hatred we harbored for you was the second evil perpetrated that day. Your actions were wrong, the toll egregious, and the pain is still fresh. But I have no intentions of letting you shackle me, your actions to possess power over me. So I forgive you. And may God have mercy on your soul. I can't say you didn't receive that which your actions deserved. But as a wizened wizard once told me, many are those who live and deserve death, and many are those who die that deserve life. But I am not wise enough to be the one who dolls such judgment on the world. (And neither were you.) May we bury all of our ghosts, and look to the future. A future of hope. For there is only one way to peace. And it is not through hate.
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But the 80s were awesome. B)
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Today is the first day of Oh-Eleven. Which means that it's time to make a patented DV-list. The following is not a list of resolutions, but a list of confessions and reflections and random remarks relating to my Oh-Ten. 2010 might have been the best year everThough it was very weird not being in school for a yearAnd I spent the entire summer unemployedAnd in 2010 I got firedStill best year everI don't miss TargetAnd I'm kind of glad they fired meEven though they did so unfairlyAnd used lies to do itI would have sued if I had moneyWhich they knew I didn'tI'm not allowed in that Target anymoreI'm not sure whyI lost a lot of weight this past yearAnd now I have a hard time stomaching overweight personsGetting down to a healthy weight was easySo now I find myself judging those who aren'tWhich is bad of meBut when you're 300 pounds, you don't need a Venti FrappuccinoAnd I don't regret giving those guests nonfat milk without telling themI sometimes pause in mirrors because I don't recognize my own faceI kind of enjoyed not having a jobI built a lot of MOCs during that time periodNow I have two jobsAnd I miss all the free timeAnd the staying up lateAnd the sleepBut I enjoy both of my jobsAnd I'm lucky to have two great jobsWhen so many people are having problems finding just oneIn 2010 I fell in loveBrickfair was the highlight of my lifeUntil October became the highlight of my lifeAnd then December overtook thatEvery day with you is the new best day of my lifeAnd if home is where the heart isThen my home is where you areI miss AndrewsAnd RobAnd HanniAnd YanniAnd Deb and Becca and Felicia and Josh and everyone elseI love RayHe is the best Greyhound companion everI rode a lot of Greyhound buses this yearI took them to TexasTwiceTo NoVaTo OregonAnd paid for someone to come here on oneGreyhound, you earned a lot of my money this yearAnd you even lost my luggageAnd got me everywhere I traveled to lateBut then got me here on time every timeWhy is that?I miss youI made a new best friend this yearSkype is greatI've changed my life plans twice this yearI thought I was going to be moving to Austin about nowBut instead I think it'll be a little farther NorthwestYou know what?I enjoy Ashton KutcherI know that makes me a terrible personI am sorryMumford and Sons is my 2010 band discoveryThat I discoveredAnd then so did the rest of AmericaI think 2010 saw me become the best version of meAnd I am so glad it didIn 2010 I did actual professional photographyAnd I think that is what I want to do with my lifeBesides travelAnd spend it with people I loveI love you!My favourite staff perk is writing set reviewsAnd is actually why I wanted to be staff to begin withAnd it bugs me when everyone thinks I'm always overly-criticalI actually like some of these sets, you knowAnd I've done more positive than negative reviewsI try really really hard to take better set photos than anyone elseMaybe too hard?I feel like most of my life is waitingI'm looking forward to the day when I don't spend each day trying to get to the next one so I can get to an event I'm looking forward toDo you see the irony in the last bullet?I never saw AvatarBut Tron was amazingAnd I don't know what movie reviewers were watchingBecause it was awesomeI finally cleaned my roomAnd I only did it because someone was visiting usBut it needed to be doneWish my brother, who made the mess had helpedI'm actually looking forward to Transformers 3And I don't know what that saysI ate my first hamburger this yearAnd I only did that so I wouldn't look silly in front of a girl I likedI might be a little ridiculousI want to see mountains more oftenIn 2010 I traveled more than I ever have in a year beforeAnd I visited states on both coasts this yearThis was the first time I'd ever been west of OklahomaAnd I went to Austin three timesI really like travelingI love youI think this year has just helped to prove that the American Dream and I are not in agreementI just don't want to live for a career and moneyWhen people are the important thingHouse of Heroes' "Suburba" is my album of the yearI'm worried Primus might beat me at Brickfair 2011He came too close this yearIt might be time to bring out the big gunsBut not with actual guns, because I don't like building thoseI like swords a lot betterThis list is way longAnd I'm not sure it says anything importantBesides "I love you"Which is the most important phrase everBecause Love winsAnd that's what I try to live bySometimes I failBut I tryAnd I think everyone deserves to know they're lovedEspecially youBecause I love you And this photo sums up 2010 for me:
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I heart both of these a tremendous amount.
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Fringe Fringe Fringe Fringe Fringe Fringe Fringe Fringe!
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Because the whole 'make a list about things that happened' is totally my schtick, and everyone else just stole it: Greyhound was the worst decision everBut Ray and I are totes best friends nowSmeagol4 hugged me plenty of timesHe just didn't realize itYanni is adorableBut not as adorable as WafflesAlso less adorable than Maddison's squeaky voiceBut Yanni's adorableness is still off the chartsPromise!Also, my Hahli was better than hisThey were too different to judgeHis was gorgeousPrimus is just the coolest most chill person everAnd his MOCs blew me away in personSo freaking goodBelieve it or not, Arpy is less eccentric in personMaddison makes a great explorerSteve Witt is amazingAnd fantasticAnd and and and andAlso, why are there no pictures of me? This really upsets me.Sunday was the greatest night of my lifeSkype is greatThere were way too many people during the public hoursIt was so loudI have too many photos to edit and I don't want toI hate photo editinglolI won the Best Bionicle trophy againY'all should attempt to bring it next yearApparently Senjo makes great foodI don't know, I didn't have any(Sorry!)Niki is lovely, and I love her lotsI wish I had seen her and HH and Friar Tuck and Senjo and TwingDing moreBecause I really feel like I didn't see them at allWhich makes me :( Because they are awesomeHanni and I are best friend soulmatesRob is the best Canadian everAnd I love him so very muchBen saved daysAnd is a really great dudeReally greatI won Bingo!!!And a doorprize!!!And we actually had four doorprize winners seated in a row, by order of winners, too!That was totes neat!I infected several people with my bizarre slangMuahaha!Mandrew is a really great friend of mineLike seriouslyI really appreciate him right nowI also wonder who gave me this member title?I blame SmeagIt's his faultMaybe?I am the happiest and giddiest person you could possibly know right now :) :)Best Brickfair ever.Ever.Totes.
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Firefox 4 Beta = :) :)
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Busy, very busy. In the meantime, have some pictures of Manu. Original Design With Iruini From the Back From the Top Torso Front Torso Back Torso w/Head Torso Detail Side Detail Arm Detail Back Detail Head Movement Her paint got chipped in moving so I need to redo her gold - thank goodness I finally got the right kind of paint (the original gold was a different paint than the blue and turned out poorly). Also take a look at this lovely version of my Ice Bat in MoC Form made by MapleMaster of deviantart. Anyways! Busy. *poofs*
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I am still awake because I make bad decisions when it comes to a proper circadian rhythm.
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And once again I've managed to offend someone because of it! Go me. I have no tact. ;_; *goes off and mopes in a corner*
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Hooray! Done with all of them! Now it's back to work on the Coliseum... Speaking of: *eye twitches* Teach me to volunteer to draw anything that complicated, in inks no less. Anyways, this bit's mostly done now, which means I can move on to the rest of the picture, and that won't take nearly as long.
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I does, I does. This is actually one of the worst ones I've ever had. I've also got a bit of a fever. At first I thought this was from when I pulled out my "male" voice to toy with possibly auditioning for some random matoran or something. I'd forgotten how much it makes my throat hurt (and I gave myself a bloody nose recording with it too) so I ditched that idea. But that was a couple of weeks ago, and it certainly didn't hurt to breathe after that, it was just mildly uncomfortable to talk. So I'm guessing I caught something nasty recently. Also, I thought I'd post some clips from my coliseum battle scene that I've been working on. I discovered some new brush settings that produce these very very fine lines, and are easy to use too. I'm quite fond of them now, since inking suddenly doesn't seem quite so much a chore, but I'm not sure how they look on other people's screens. To me, they look fine, but I can't be sure that they don't look pixelly elsewhere. And yes, I'm well aware that I totally made things up when drawing both Taka and Lesovikk's backs. XD I couldn't find any reference pictures of their backs, and since my Taka is at home, and I don't even have Lesovikk... yeah. Edit: Just for you LTT! No, really... Messed with his neck, and fixed his Faxon. Have made other progress too, but you don't get to see that until I'm all done. XP
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Georgia Tech is full of evil. And then full of more evil. Wrapped in a shell of evil.
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Went back and revisited my old Manu character. It was brought to my attention that I really didn't know anything at all about her, so I went and fixed that. If I recall, I tried once before to evolve her into a Toa (I believe it was for the contest that produced Krakua) but I was never really happy with the way it turned out, so I pretty much abandoned it. Not sure I like the color scheme, I think a different shade of blue might be better, but I need to stop working on this. I'll probably revisit it eventually. In case anyone is interested, here's the full version of her backstory (which I may or may not revise): Manu was originally a Ce-Matoran who joined the Nynrah Ghosts as an elite crafter. When she put her mind to it, she was able to create masks, weapons, and other items with great skill. However, she often became distracted, resulting in sub-par products. She spent a great deal of her time redoing things she botched because of this. While Nynrah ghosts are notoriously reclusive, Manu was more solitary than most, claiming that her distractibility increased with proximity to other Matoran. Indeed, this did seem to be a fairly accurate assessment, and so she was left to herself much of the time. Sometime after the theft of the Nynrah Zamor Launchers, she was put to work on repairing the Toa Tool of a novice Toa, who had accidentally imbued it with a minute amount of Toa Power, and then proceeded to break it. Unfortunately Manu stopped paying attention while she was working on it, and damaged it still further, activating the Toa Power within and causing her to transform into a Toa. Not terribly pleased, she finished repairing the weapon, and considered possible courses of action. Eventually, she decided she probably ought to leave the village, since Toa attract trouble and the rest of the villagers would be happier if they were left alone. Leaving the repaired weapon, and taking some portable crafting tools, she relocated herself elsewhere on Nynrah - close enough to keep an eye on her former partners, but far enough that she felt they could avoid any trouble she caused. It took the rest of the Ghosts three days to notice she was gone. Setting up shop in her new hiding place, Manu spent more time thinking about what had happened. As a Toa of Psionics, a great Matatu was not going to give her much of an advantage, so after some consideration she crafted herself three masks that she thought would be useful, as well as a Toa Tool. She took a liking to the Mask of Magnetism, and began wearing it, though she still didn't know how to use it. It took Manu quite a long time to learn how to effectively use her powers and her masks, but she is much more competent with them now than she was originally. If anyone actually read any of that, I'll be impressed. Lol. Oh, and I doubt anyone will remember this, but I thought I'd upload my old edit of Manu's Matoran form, from waaaay back in the days when I had nothing but MS Paint. Seriously, this thing is ancient.
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Kirsten Dunst was a terrible Mary Jane. Tobey Maguire was a terrible Spider-Man. James Franco was a passable Harry. A reboot is in the best interest of everyone. Let's get a sarcastic smart aleck for Spidey this time, and not only a natural redhead for Mary Jane, but a natural redhead with actual acting skills.
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Is Come Sail Away the official BrickFair theme song yet? Because it really should be.
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And now you see me. (Oh, and did you notice the best part of the picture?)
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I wish all the characters in the SW universe would quit bringing up Anakin Solo all the time. I still miss him. (And on a less important note, due to some circumstances, I am now the Brickfair coordinator for the BIONICLE theme. Weep denizens, weep.)
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After the last five seconds of the newest episode of Transformers Animated, have you any idea what I want? I want Animated Maximals. NOW.
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I'm really looking forward to Sunday.
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Haha. I loved the White Ranger as a kid. He was awesome. As you can see, I'm playing with the camera still. I really want something with manual focus. Everything would be happier. So much happier. Also: Jazz He is also awesome. So much awesome.
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I bought a cheap tripod the other day. It is lovely, and it makes me happy. I haven't had much time to play with it, but I took a few minutes tonight to snap some shots of my other newest acquisition, the cowardly Skywarp! He is oh-so-pretty, and I'm glad I skipped on Thundercracker Starscream in favor of a better coloured repaint. Also: Swoop He is also awesome.
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So, the last book in the Legacy of the Force arc. It's shorter than I expected. But it's good. Not like, Revenge of the Sith novelization good, or NJO: Traitor good, and it didn't have the emotional impact that NJO: Star by Star did, but nonetheless, it's good. And yes, I am a manly man who weeps manly tears at the happenings in a fictional universe (Anakin Solo's death in Star by Star was heart wrenchingly difficult). But this book is fantastic at the emotional manipulations. You know what's going to happen before you open the book. Just as with the fifth novel in the Legacy series (Sacrifice), the cover gives it all away. But how they get there is depressingly, and amazingly upliftingly (I think I made that word up) fantastic. The human drama is so fantastically amazing, that mo matter what form it is delivered, be it novel, film, poetry, photography, video, etc, it never fails to leave an impact. "At all ages, if [fantasy and myth] is used well by the author and meets the right reader, it has the same power: to generalize while remaining concrete, to present in palpable form not concepts or even experiences but whole classes of experience, and to throw off irrelevancies. But at its best it can do more; it can give us experiences we have never had and thus, instead of 'commenting on life,' can add to it." -- C.S. Lewis, from his essay "Sometimes Fairy Stories May Say Best What's to Be Said," published in Of Other Worlds, 1966. (Oh, and I cannot get that ridiculous "Final Countdown" song out of my head. Thanks a lot, Europe!) (Europe is a band.)
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Too many people sit in the corner alone.
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So, I finally got to see Across the Universe a week or two ago. It was delightful in all the right ways. The music was fantastic, the characters were perfectly portrayed, the acting superb. I recommend it with the highest level of DV-endorsement. I even endorse it more than I do Makarolmon's blog. It's that awesome. More amazing, of course, are the numerous ideas presented within the film. "All you need is love..." The idea that love defeats all is, of course, universal, and speaks to a desire so deeply entrenched inside even the worst of men, that it pervades our cultures in innumerable ways. Arguably the most potent and important idea within the film, the idea of love is portrayed so fantastically. The film does not endorse a "and then they lived happily ever after," idealistic view of love. It shows a love that is tested, that falters, a love that seems to burn out, sputter, yet is ultimately too strong to overcome. And even in the end, as Lucy's in the sky with diamonds, a bridge has yet to be gulfed. The two lovers are still on different rooftops, so to speak. Yet even with the separation that exists between them, they are together, bound, one. Because in the end, love isn't living in perfect harmony, it isn't living in perfect agreement with one another, it's living in spite of the lack of perfection that does, and will, exist. Love conquers all things, if you let it. "You say you want a revolution..." This is especially important in the current times, both politically, and here on BZP where there have been several 'attacks' in the name of 'justice' by a group of 'revolutionaries'. The film takes place in the turbulent times embodied by the Vietnam War. As revolutionaries become more radical, do they make their cause greater? Or in the attempt to shock the 'man' into doing as you desire, is the revolution compromised? If you must compromise your beliefs to bring attention to your cause, is the gain worth the loss? Even in the deepest, most important moments, in the most important revolutions possible, for the greatest causes imaginable, is the potential gain worth the loss? Let's be honest. Compromise must exist for two sides to reconcile. But when you compromise your very beliefs in an attempt to shock the other side into submission, using the very tactics you decry, using radical tactics for no other purpose than to gain attention, what cause are you serving? As Jude tells Lucy, laying down in front of tanks is a nice picture, but you're not going to stop them from rolling over you. Laying in front of tanks isn't going to end the war. Blowing up buildings because the 'man' blew up an Asian village isn't going to spread the message of 'peace'. Your methods must not only be realistic, they must be fruitful, they must convey the message while using the message. That isn't, of course, to decry activism. As the film is lived through the hippie movement, this is clearly not the message. The idea is brought to a head when Lucy walks into the revolutionary headquarters, and discovers the revolutionaries constructing an explosive. She states "I thought it was the other side that used bombs." Be a revolutionary. Even be radical. But don't do it in a way that destroys those around you. Don't do it in a way that draws attention to yourself, yet compromises your message. Don't be radical in such a way that those you're trying to persuade instead see your actions, decry you as a hypocrite, and a dangerous one at that, and become set against you, and by proxy, the message you have betrayed, yet to which you are intrinsically linked. Be smart, be wise, and remember, "when you talk about destruction, don't you know that you can count me out." (So dear BZP revolutionaries: Stop it. You're not winning anyone over. You're disgusting, vile, and by carrying your Chariman Mao (figuratively), you have alienated yourself from anyone who may ever have thought along the same lines as you do. You're done. And realistically, if you don't like this place, it's not like you have to chill here. This isn't a country you were born into. We're not fighting an unjust war on BZP that you need to decry. We're talking about LEGO Bricks. They're toys, man. Chill out, egg-men. You're not getting a little help from my friends. So let it be. Otherwise, it won't be long, and you'll be flying. Understand?)
