Axilus Prime

Argh! I don't want to give him sugar, he just stabbed you! Ok, that's enough! (Holds sword in the way of his attacks, to get the kid to hurt himself instead)

Seriously, this should have cut through some muscle or bone by now...what's this kid made of? (Tries again)

(Stares in shock because the cut was only minor, then grips sword with both hands and goes into a slashing barrage)

...And my no hitting kids rule goes out the window now. (Draws sword, kicks him away from you, then slashes at him) Other me, you can run faster, get a doctor!

Mate, if we go after the futuretech we're gonna create some spacetime mess. That's why they jacked it from us. That way, they took it from us, so we never found it, so we never pushed the boundaries far enough to make a spacetime mess, so we never had to go back in time at all, so--wait a minute. WHAT.

(Looks for you, then realizes that as well and runs that way too) On second thought, I just remembered that--oh wait, you're me, you probably know. (Takes off at 100% speed since that's the only way I have any chance of keeping up with these future versions of us)

Huh. That's amazing. Well, I guess I'll be off now, before we undo the fabric of space and time.

I guess I can trust you guys, since you're use. (Walks away) WAIT A MINUTE, HOW DO I LEARN TO HANDSTAND RUN IN TWO DAYS?!

...Ok then. Why are you here?

Ok, first off, are you actually me?

(Uses the slowdown inflicted by handrunning to catch and tackle him)

CHARGE! (Runs after them) You know, if these are us from the future, and not just clones or people in disguise, I will be VERY disappointed if we can catch them.

...Future selves?

(Hands him the candy and runs down the alley, drawing my sword) Come on, mate! We've got a thief to catch.

Tell me who had you cut it and where the cord was taken, and the candy's all yours.

...Kid. Stop. Stop. STOP POKING ME! I will give you a candy if you answer my question!

(Simply stands there with my arms folded, and if anyone comes near, I ask them if they're the kid's parents)

(Shakes head and sighs, then slaps him across the face)

...I don't like hitting kids. But if you don't speak up, I'm going to spank you.

(Grabs the kid's shirt so he doesn't run off) Who told you to cut that, and where was the rest of the cord taken?

Bollocks! (Asks a nearby person if they saw anyone running off with cords)