Simulacrum

I think that it's someone that we would never expect, like Kopaka. So that's my vote. Kopaka.

I've never read the book that this was based off, but this a great story. Your writing style is different in every story I read, making them all seem like a different author. Irnakk was a great choice for a villian. The only thing that I disliked was the fact that Vezon showed up. Vezon is a great character, but he appears in almost every fan fiction, so he gets a tad bit old. You did manage to make him funny, though. All in all, you get a near perfect 9/10. Keep up the good work.

god help you

OOC: I'm back. And on a steed.IC: Darkon Riding Norus / Parched Wastes Darkon sat on the back on Norus, playing a tune on his small Guitar-like instrument, called a Yoal. As he sang in his terribly screechy voice, he noticed a large group of other slaves. "Ho! What have we here? More slaves? Let us go and see what they are up to!" he spoke to himself and Norus. Norus turned and quickly approached the team. Darkon waved, oblivious to the fact their backs were turned. "Hoy! Fellow contestants!" He called.

Image Type & Dimensions: Jpeg 700 x 275Exact Text: large A Dark Dawn in red Papyrus font at the Top, right above the sunDescribe What You Want: A beautiful view of a sun rising above a ocean. In the foreground of the picture, you see a rock ledge, and standing on that rock ledge is a heavily armored being wearing a witch-king like helmet, and leaning on his very large and wide sword, seen from the back. Could you PM this and what i need to say for credit when your done? Also, it needs to link to this: http://www.bzpower.c...?showtopic=1727 Hope this isn't to hard.Thanks in advance! Maybe?

Edit'd. Is it good now?

I see your side completely, and I also see that my argument made no sense. How about if I add Rahi control as a power?

Yeah, rejoining this. Hopefully i'm less G-Moddy and fight happy.

Hmm... Well, remember in a exiles tale, and that skrall serial, Malum uses his size and strength to teach the Vorox to obey him? It's sorta like that.

It's kinda super-duper important to the story. Just forget any of this every happened...

OOC:Nevar mind. Suicavel destroyed it. That's k. Time to start fresh.

PATIENCE. You shall understand soon... Very soon... Oh wait. That's right. Tahu isn't a Nuva anymore. *FACEPALM* I totally forgot that. XD Just pretend like he got turned back into one. And also, forgot about the makuta powers thing. Isn't that from when he killed those rahkshi? Forget about that too... XD

XD At the inception like twist of Vezon's job. Here's a little bit of advice/a idea:Make a 3-5 post story about the villians getting punished for a crime that someone else did. (And I mean PUNISHED) If you want a happy ending they could go after the guy who really did it. I basiclly would like the comedy to return to it's roots of small but extremely funny plots. Also, I found the actual Jail a place with a lot of more potential than Karzhani.

OOC: Sorry about not responding! XDIC: Armoan glanced at Ajax and Yoraz before talking. "The more, the merrier. Do you know of a nearby place where we could stay?"

OOC: Rejoining this. So is my fortress still around? What about Frags?

Rejoining with one Char and a steedName: Darkon Species: Toa and Rahkshi Hybrid Gender: MaleAppearance: Lightweight spiked gunmetal armor. Has red skin. Very thin, and very lithe. Wears a large sauron like helmet, or a long, creep mask, depending if he's in combat or relaxing. Has a pair of Dragon like wings that are 12 feet across each. Powers: Elemental Control over Iron. Kraata power of density control Weapons/Equipment: Armor can be controlled and turned into a variety of weapons. A special 250 lb bow that is covered in runes, and allows user to channel their energy through it (made of crystal so no toa can control it). A small stringed instrument for entertainment. Bio: A traveling warrior, musician, and magician that was captured by the slavers while on a ship sailing to Voya Nui.Name: NorusSpecies: Unknown Gigantic scorpion RahiGender: MaleAppearance: A gigantic scorpion, So large that a makuta could ride it. Brown with red markings.Powers: Elemental control over earth. Toa Level intelligence. Weapons/Equipment: Claws, hands, and mouth. A saddle, which Darkon sits on.Bio: A beast of burden that Darkon freed. Follows Darkon everywhere and protects him contstantly.

if you specifically searched for this epic

Guys, I'm sorry to say it, but i'm leaving. I might rejoin later, but i highly doubt that. If you want to know why, I won't be posting or looking in this topic, so PM me.It was fun, but it had to end. Bye.

OOC: CURSE YOU PONIES! You have made one of the most awesome things in this game be gone! RAGE AGAINST PONIES! *starts foaming at the mouth* Seriously, I hate ponies! Also, sad to see you go TFL. I might quit this game to. It's getting a tad bit hard to stay up to date with.IC: Darkon found himself surrounded by fighting bionicles. On a roof. "What the?" Asked Darkon before getting hit in the face be a midak lightblaster ball. "That's IT!" Screamed Darkon. "First, Ponies, and now, Living plastic sets? RAGE-TIME!" He roared at Kopaka Phantoka before helping Antroz beat up lewa.

Thanks for the lengthy review, I was worried that since I only had one chapter it would be like two sentences. Anyway, I have a terrible habit of captilizing that that shouldn't be captilized, so that is a big grammar I plan on fixing. Also, the quote "Its the clever balance of giving the reader plenty of dessert, and just enough broccoli." is pure awesomesauceSince I already have 10 more chapters written, the recommendations you said shouldn't be seen soon, but when Dark Dawn gets to the point after that review, there will hopefully be a change for the better.

MOVE ALONG

OOC: FOR SHARKIEEEEE! And OOC talking isn't against the rules. Or were you joking? I'm terribel at telling those two apart. XDIC: Darkon summouned Sixty pairs of Vezon and Kardas, and they quickly destroyed the 20 Tahtorak. He then ran away from TiN, and focused on ToD. He used his elemental powers to create 20 small metal darts, and sent them at ToD, in a attack that would be very painful if contact was made, but would be easy to blow aside with a wind.

You can go ahead and review it now. Thank you in advance!

OOC: Dum-Dee dum. Going to bed soon... Hopefully this ends soon.

OOC: TERRIBLE . I wish someone from the red team would post. Especially TiN. Perhaps Ibrow should switch players around to give teams equal active players.