Kaleidoscope Tekulo

Hmm... 4.5/5

Favorite quote:Rarity: "Exile... Well, I suppose technically I'd have to move away in order for it to be considered exile. Where would I go? And what would I pack? Ugh, it's going to take forever to do all of that packing. What are you supposed to pack when you go into exile? Are you supposed to pack... warm?" Oh, Rarity... I swear, you're one of my favorites. XD On matters of best pony... I think a lot of them are the best. Fluttershy, Rarity, Twilight, Derpy, Luna, etc, etc. I just love them all too much to play absolute favorites. XD

Tetak just stared, dubious, at Laza. "L-Leaving the… U-Uh…" "That's right!" Laza didn't pay Tetak much mind; she had already taken a swing at a nearby tree. "B-But that's- err, I mean…" Tetak was afraid of disagreeing with someone so confident. He winced as Laza struck the tree a second time, this one louder and more forceful than the first. "Come on…" Laza grunted as she pulled her axe from the tree, "Break!" she demanded of its strong structure as she gave her final swing. In turn, the tree fell. Tetak winced again as the tree fell, its splinters seeming to scream out as they snapped one by one ending in a tremendous thump! It seemed to Tetak that the tree came down far too easily, but he didn't pay it much mind. He was too busy trying to voice his opinion. He should speak up, shouldn't he? After all, he did have something to say… didn't he? "Uh… E-Excuse… me?" His voice was meek. "What is it?" Laza's voice seemed calm, but at the same time a little irritated. She didn't look at Tetak, but instead moved on to the next tree, swinging away as if Tetak were a pest. "I-I don't r-really think th-that a r-raft would… err-uh, th-that is to-to say it sounds like the i-dea is uh… i-it sounds-" Laza had reached her limit. Listening to this matoran babble on and on was turning into torture. She hated nonsense; she always preferred to get to the point and stop wasting time. "Spit it out!" she cried as she shot an annoyed glare at Tetak. "It sounds dumb!" Tetak shouted unfortunately as he was startled. He immediately covered his mouth with both of his trembling hands and gave Laza a very sheepish look. "It what?!" Laza was fuming. Tetak shyly pulled the dark, dark hood of his cloak over his eyes. He wished he could have worded himself differently. Why was it he couldn't think of the right words to say? His heartlight was running nervously and Tetak only wished he could just disappear in his cloak. "I'm sure he didn't mean that." Came a voice that was music to Tetak's ears. "He only meant that this idea… it doesn't seem like it would work in the long-run." Nia tried her best to explain. "And why wouldn't it work?" Laza's eyes were filled with gloom and disgust. She rested the head of her axe on the ground and leaned against it, preparing to listen to more nonsense. "Well, if you think about it, to leave the island you'd have to go back to the beach at the edge of the island, correct? Well, wouldn't you just run into those voices again?" Nia's voice was calm and thoughtful. She had her hand on the side of her face and looked up, not directly at Laza, and seemed to be running through some ideas in her head. "Oh come on, I'm sure this island has more than one beach. And besides, the voices can't be everywhere on the edge of the island." "That's another thing; we don't know much about what's lurking out on this island." "But don't you live on this island?" Laza snapped, amazed she could have to point out the obvious. "… I'm afraid I seldom leave my village. I was just out here getting water," Nia pointed to her floating jug. "I always travel this route." Tetak could have sworn Nia had been carrying around the pod he'd arrived in up until now… Perhaps he was imagining things. He still dared not to speak. Tension was high in the air and he had not yet calmed down completely. Perhaps he was just going insane? Perhaps he had always been insane… "Besides," Nia continued, "I've never heard of any other continents or islands outside of Yume Island. The sea could be vast. How do you know you would survive the journey?" Laza seemed to be mulling something over in her head. After a few moments, she huffed, picked up her axe and barked, "Take us to your village." Her arms would be crossed for the remainder of their journey to Nia's home.Review

@ Hahli Historian: I cannot thank you enough for this review!I'm glad you think my story is a bit different than others of a similar genre. ^^And I like to think of this as a mystery story. It's not exactly a murder (though a similar feel to one may just work to my advantage). I want the readers to piece together what happened as well as who exactly Tetak and Laza are. I realize they seem very two-dimensional at this point, but that's sort of how I want it right now. I'm planning on having them go through tons of character development (I'm just hoping I don't get too personal with them. It's one thing to relate with a character, but another thing when a character is pouring his/her heart and soul out and you just want them to stop). Also, I'd like for the readers to paint their own images of Laza and Tetak. Maybe they'll be a bit surprised when they learn a little more about them? After all, when you first meet a new person, you don't automatically know everything about them. You make assumptions based on the way they act, and only when you really sit down and talk to them do you really begin to figure out who they are. Similar idea with my characters. ^^ Though, also consider the situations they're put in. Laza was groggy and tired after a long day of work, and Tetak had just woken up in the beginning. From that, they're now in a very vast and strange world. Tetak is afraid of anything and everything right now and Laza is deeply annoyed and angry at the world around her, to an extent. And don't worry, I do have plans for these characters and I do hope to delve deeper into their identities (though I am having a bit of trouble finding the right situations-for Tetak mainly. But, all in due time. Also, I would love to hear about any theories you would have with foreshadowing. And yes, there are bits that are highly easy to read, yet there are others I've thrown in there that will become much more clear later in the story. Send me a PM and we can discuss it if you'd like. ;D Also, I don't think of Jet as a Glatorian, exactly. Of course, going into greater detail is a spoiler. I'm thinking we're going to be seeing a little more of Jet and where he's coming from. And great analysis of him, by the way. That's how I picture him in those few chapters. ^^ Nia is going to be interesting. Her curiosity really does fit her, but we're going to see that once they all get back to her village (which will be in the upcoming chapters). As for the narration style; I thought jumping from character to character would be interesting. The cryptic nature of things along with the anarchy of elements in the story does make things a little difficult to follow. However, there is indeed a great reason for this and I'm glad you think it's necessary. I honestly couldn't see this story being told any other way. Everything, and I do mean everything, will be revealed by the end of this story. I'm trying to keep enough order into the story to prevent my readers from getting totally lost (which may not be easy... There are going to be parts of the story that you just have to roll with. Little inconsistencies like Tetak's cloak that appeared out of nowhere, etc). Thank you again for your review.

4/5

Nah, it's cool. You don't have to be a member of a group even if you have similar qualities to its members. I'd consider myself a brony, though. I enjoy the show, it makes me cackle gleefully (especially when Fluttershy goes out of character) and I've become obsessed with its memes as of late. XD Plus I am a guy in the right age group.

Hmm, I know you did read my epic a little while ago (thanks again for the reply). Still, if anyone wants to really go into a higher detail, then I'd love to hear your criticism. 1) Dare to Dream 2) Review 3) Number of chapters: 10 (Depending on when you get to it. Chapter eleven will be posted tomorrow) Feel free to be as critical as you wish. I'm still pretty new to writing (this is the first story I've really planned out to this degree and it is also my longest story thus far), so I'd love all the advise I could get. Of course I still haven't gotten into the meat and potatoes of DtD yet, so I might just have to send in another request when things really get under way (not any time soon, though. ^^)

Oh, hey, you finally got these up and running! Of course, I still disagree with your layout and all, but whatever makes you happy. And I didn't even bother with that equation. XD "Hmm... Meh, it's probably some high level math humor." The first panel just made me laugh, though. Anyway, good to see things are up and running. I suppose we can expect a new comic in two months. ^^

Not a perfect series, but great story and great characters. Looking forward to Legend of Korra! Here's hoping it doesn't suck though, lol. After M. Night's movie I'd hope that Mike and Brian would be given new resolve and clear this franchise's name after that monumental failure of cinema.

You know, I kind of want them to focus more on the freelancers at this point. I mean, seeing Church and the group together is fun, but we've already been through those things and it's starting to look more and more like a repeat. Although, the last episode with them was very funny and I hope they'll continue down that route. The other episodes with them just seemed to be more like filler if anything else (kinda like getting the plot where it needs to be). The freelancers just seem interesting to me. We know some of the characters and we know generally what happened, but it's really cool to see them all more in-depth (and not just with the action scenes, though the actions scenes are always great to watch). I keep feeling like they're going to link the two stories together with this one and I think it might be interesting if they do. Then again, I'd still like to see how Wash is doing in the present. I'd love to see how that goes. XD

The journey to Nia's village was quiet. Tetak and Laza had seemed too exhausted to keep up their conversation. It was likely they were both wondering the same thing. As if there were a maze in front of them, and each running through the twists and turns on their own, wanting to see the correct path for themselves first before checking with the other. Nia was uncomfortable at this time. Not just one, but two very strange visitors had stumbled upon her lap. She thought back earlier to this morning, when she grabbed her water jug, thinking it would be like any other day. She began to wonder if it really was a coincidence that she herself should meet these two matoran? Did she really believe in something as powerful as destiny? She chuckled silently to herself. Who knew the world could be so flexible? Tetak kept his face pointed low, down to the ground. The hood of his black cloak was covering his eyes and at times his pace would slow. He would have to pick his head up on occasion to find he was lagging behind, and in turn he would jog back behind Nia. Laza had her head to the side, looking around the woods here and there at the front of the group. She would huff to herself every now and then, her arms constantly crossed in frustration. When a fork in the road appeared, she would turn and wait for the others, tapping her foot vigorously in the dirt. Nia would almost feel obligated to run up to her. But she continued her pace, keeping focus on the floating jar next to her. Eventually something caught Laza's eye. It was a gleam in the distance, around two feet into the trees. Curious, she pushed back the vines and moss and saw a curious object. Her face lit up as she realized what it was. Brushing off fungus and dirt from its handle, Laza started to tug. Pull as she might, the blade remained stuck in the tree. Nia and Tetak eventually caught up to her. "What's this?" Nia asked. Tetak, hearing Nia's voice, looked up towards her, and then noticed what Laza was doing. He sheepishly positioned himself so he could glance into the trees where Laza was tugging. "It's… an…-" Laza began as she pulled with all her might. Finally, with a pop, her body flung backwards as she hit the ground. "Yes!" Laza exclaimed as she held her prize up into the air. "A- an axe…?" Tetak said, a little uneasy in a voice that was almost a whisper. The axe had a light purple handle. Laza started to brush off the dirt and grime with her hands; it had obviously been long forgotten. There was a single blade which curved into a point in the back past the handle. It looked a little large for a matoran, but Laza had little effort supporting its weight. She started to test its balance by swinging it around lightly. Tetak jumped out of the way. Although the axe would have missed him by half a foot, he was still jumpy. "Don't you know what this means?" She exclaimed to Tetak. "I-I don't r-really, um-" "It means we can use this to cut down some trees and vines! We can make a raft! We're getting off of this island!" Review

Hmm... 2 /5

So the power theory (which I believe) raises a question: what would Celestia's mane look like if she were stripped of her power?

Rustle, rustle, rustle. Tetak and Nia halted their walk. There were many noises in the jungle, but the rustling in the bushes up ahead indicated a creature was approaching. And it was getting closer. "Get back," Nia whispered to Tetak. She stepped in front of him and kept her eyes on the bushes.

Laza was covered in dirt, vines and cobwebs. She kept moving through the forest, grabbing tree branches and trunks for support. Twigs snapped beneath her feet and gnats swarmed her face. She swatted at them continuously, but they were persistent. Laza could not tell where she was headed. The vegetation was thick and she couldn't see more than twenty feet ahead of her. Rustle, rustle, rustle. She hoped she would find a way out of this place soon. It was dark underneath the trees, but it was bright enough for Laza to see. She wouldn't want to be in this place when the sun was down. Pushing back a large bush, a bright light greeted her eyes along with a silhouette of- "Toa… Nikila?!" Laza exclaimed in disbelief.

Nia looked down at this newcomer. She looked very much like Tetak, the … matoran, if that was the right word. She wore the same colors as he did. Her face was round and smooth, while Tetak's had ridges and curves. But they were both white and each had blue armor. Their similarities physically were almost uncanny, really. "Y-You!" Tetak exclaimed as he saw Laza. It was the loudest Nia had heard Tetak thus far, and she imagined it would be the loudest she would hear him for quite a while. "You!" Laza looked at Tetak. Nia couldn't tell if they were both relieved to see each other, or if they were both even more on edge. Maybe it was a mixture of both? Laza looked back up to Nia. No, she couldn't be Toa Nikila. Her mask was the same – the mask of possibilities, but her coloration was different. Also, she looked… softer… than a toa. "Who are you? What are you doing with him? Where did that cloak come from? And just where are we?" Laza kept shooting question after question. "U-uh… Th-That… Err, that i-is…" Tetak didn't know where to start to try to explain things; especially when he didn't know the answers himself. "Well?!" Laza demanded. "Calm down," Nia chimed in. "One question at a time…" She was a little sheepish, but she was just as curious about these two as this other matoran was. What exactly was a matoran? Where did these two come from and what was the Southern Continent? Nia didn't think asking Tetak would be a good idea, seeing as how startled he'd been. But now, just maybe she could get some answers.

Laza had cooled off or, at least, cooled off compared to her frantic state earlier. She and Tetak had told their stories to each other. They both seemed similar, waking up on a beach, hearing strange voices. What didn't match up was how Tetak found his way into the jungle. Being dragged underwater and then being found in some sort of pod well away from the beach just didn't make sense. Then again, being attacked by strange voices wasn't exactly normal to begin with. The more and more she thought about the situations, the less they seemed to hold any logic. It was annoying to think about, so she moved on. The person she had mistaken for Toa Nikila was actually a Glatorian… whatever that was. Laza had never seen anyone colored purple before, aside from a few highlights on an Onu-matoran. She had found Tetak and offered to help him… And that's when Laza herself arrived. Yume Island; just what kind of place would this turn out to be? Review

I love Red vs Blue! ^^ Watched it from near its start (dang, it's been a long time since it's started, huh. O.o). Gotta say, I'm loving Wash in this new season. He was so anti-hero earlier on and now we're seeing him as being a bit naive as a rookie. There's gonna be so much character development with him, I can't wait! ^^ "It bounces?! Who designs a gun that bounces? This is the worst gun ever. Of all-""Get down!" XD, I love that line. Gotta say, though, I think York is awesome. I hate it because of what happened to him a few seasons ago. D= And I also disagree that this belongs under Halo - Halo is a game, Red vs Blue is a series of movies (that happens to use the Halo games as a basis for its story). The two are different.

I absolutely adore this show. The movie was so disappointing, too. The only thing it had going for it, really, was the visual effects and location scenery. Everything else (actors, bending effects -sadly-, plot, etc) were a huge let-down. My favorite episode (or rather the one that sticks out most in my memory) is when Katara comes face to face with the man who killed her mother. Ugh, such a great story they had for that.

In my mind, the first worst thing about A: tLA was its music-I can't really remember any of its pieces playing except the main theme and The Last Agni Kai.

I thought it was great. Fit the characters perfectly. You really don't remember the Blue Spirit theme? Or the Tsungi Horn? You should look them up, they're great.

Laza quickly ducked behind the nearest tree she could find as she fled from a watery grave. Covering the top of her head with her arms in a secure crouch, she waited… but the giant tidal wave did not appear. After what seemed an eternity, Laza slowly got up and looked beyond the tree at the battle field she had just crossed. To her shock, the beach was now long gone and replaced with jungle. The jolt of her surprise made her flinch backwards, and she stepped on something alive. Quickly spinning around, she saw a very thick snake-like creature slither away into the bushes of the jungle out of sight. Insects started to buzz across her face, and she swatted at them. This, unfortunately, knocked Laza off her balance and she fell on her backside. Just then a large bird swooped down to where her head had just been moments before. The jungle was filled with noises of strange rahi, birds, insects and everything in between. "What kind of place is this?" Laza muttered to herself half-defeated and annoyed. She had never liked waking up. Out of all mornings she had experienced, however, this one was her least favorite by far.

Nia had seen several types of people in her life. She had seen others lose their temper and lash out violently, she had seen others break down and cry right in front of her, even confessions of love between two youths in a dream of fancy. But she had never quite seen anything like this before. This little guy in front of her –matoran she thought he'd said- looked as if he thought he was about to die. Ever since she had told him the name of the island, he had clammed up and now he was shivering violently. He had made an attempt to conceal himself under the black cloak he wore, the hood drawn over his head, but it could not hide his shaking. Nia wasn't sure what to do. Should she lie and say she actually knew all about this… southern continent? She could offer her sympathy, but she honestly wasn't sure what she was sympathizing with. She ran her thoughts through her head, but then she looked back down at Tetak. I can't waste my time thinking about this, just look at him! I don't know what to say, but… I should say something… Nia walked over to Tetak and put a hand on his shoulder. Tetak jumped at this and timidly looked up at Nia. "I… I'll help you." Nia smiled. "W-Wh-What?" Tetak's voice was a mere whisper. "The Southern Continent; I'll help you find your way back if it's that important. Promise." Nia reassured him with a warm expression. "Th-Thank yo-you…" Tetak had been petrified. He felt lost. He was lost. The thought of him never seeing his home again- it scared him deeply. "Come on." Nia grabbed Tetak's left hand and he walked on her right. They continued their journey to Nia's village, but Tetak was quiet for a long while. He was pondering his life; his old life back in the Southern Continent. Nia didn't bother him. She had a feeling it would be best to give Tetak his space… for now.Review

You know, I'm not sure why people find creepy crawlies so darned scary these days. Like spiders, I used to freak out at as a kid upon seeing them. Now I look at them, and not only are wolf spiders (some of the biggest of the bad I witnessed growing up) kinda cute, but they're also really cool to think about. Especially to see one carrying its young on its back. So adorable. ^^ Centipedes and millipedes also look pretty cool when you look at them closely enough. They're almost like dragons with whisps of legs that move in a bit of a graceful float as they move forward. Really, insects seem more like objects of grace, beauty and symbolize life in multiple forms for me as opposed to just getting sick by seeing a praying mantis devour its mate. XP Heh, sorry if it sounds like I'm totally disagreeing intentionally... I just like looking at things in a different light, I guess. ^^' (Seriously, I'm fascinated by these sorts of things). Edit: Also, on the campfire story note, in that medium you have voice acting and body language to work with. Those can play a huge effect to the way the story gets across to the audience, almost like a stage performance. In writing we really only have words, so I do agree that writing based more off of ideas would be helpful. That and colorful ways to describe certain things. Take Hans Christian Andersen, for example. He did a masterful job with description for many of his stories (The Little Mermaid especially -I love it to death so much more than the Disney film. Not to say it's a bad movie, but the story is nowhere near as good as the original in my opinion-)