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Tufi Piyufi

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Blog Entries posted by Tufi Piyufi

  1. Tufi Piyufi
    Once upon a time, I drew this.
     
    It was a couple of years ago. The forum refused to show any signs of life. I was bored. I still had Photo-Paint. I believe there was some ridiculous-female nonsense in some forum or other at the time. There were no blogs, and I wasn't about to go posting it in the Artwork forum. At the time, however, there wasn't really anywhere else to put it. Oh, the dark days before blogs.
     
    I wasn't going to post a topic for it because I'm not so fussed on the pictures themselves. The point, yeah. The loose idea behind the pictures, yeah. But the execution... eh, I could do better. I might do a new one once I get everything back together.
     
    Anyhow, the point behind it. Note how the breasts on the left Nokama are angled out, not perfect circles, and actually look like they're subject to gravity. No, they aren't huge and obvious. No, there isn't any cleavage. You don't really get that naturally. They're kinda like a couple of same-polarity magnets that way. They sorta go out 45 degrees from the centre line, if you'd like that note.
     
    As for the one on the right... I hate to say that she's only a slight exaggeration of some figures/drawings I've seen. There is even a small group of people who would love nothing more than to see all females drawn/built this way. Please ignore them.
     
    So yeah. More learning from proper anatomy books, less 'studying' Liefeld and company. It isn't a case of 'go big or go home'. Sink and separate. Take off the hormone-coloured glasses first. All that stuff.
  2. Tufi Piyufi

    On Footwear

    By Tufi Piyufi,

    So, after a recent round in heels, I got to thinking about some things.
     
    Not that this is the first time I've considered this specific thing, however: oh no, contest #30 and time in Artwork have made sure of that. I've contemplated this on many an occasion. Often, a sigh is part of the occasion. Folks, it goes like this...
     
    You do not go around sticking high heels on characters that need speed and agility, like, oh, say... Toa.
     
    Yeah, so maybe most of you have no experience whatsoever with heels. I don't see anything inherently wrong with everyone (everyone) trying them at least once, just to see what the heck's going on there. In fact, I wholeheartedly encourage it. If your ego can't stand the thought of wearing women's footwear for a trial run just once in your life, you're gonna want to toughen that thing up.
     
    But believe you me, folks, it becomes dead obvious who's never worn heels when you see who puts them on their Toa. You know, people who need stability, agility, and speed in order to stay alive. You don't exactly get those things from heels. Yet... on they go all the same.
     
    Characters like Roodaka, who don't really need to do a ton more than walk around, are fine with heels. They've got people to do their fighting for them. They've got things to ride around on. The thing is... heels are extremely out of place on Toa. Incredibly so, even.
     
    The point is... start thinking about the fact that your heeled Toa may actually need to do some fighting, alright?
  3. Tufi Piyufi

    On Point Resolve

    By Tufi Piyufi,

    I, Latufia Lunda Othella Piyufi, do hereby resolve for the year of Two Thousand and Eight:

    To use fewer ellipses. Variety in punctuation is always fun.

    To continue never bumping any blog entries. I will accept whatever attention an entry gets and live with it.

    To not host a freebuild contest. That's the last thing we need right now. It would take, at the very least, three other admins and maybe a Global or two to make me host one. It's not happening. Don't even bother suggesting one.

    To post more things. Seriously, my backlog for all manner of things is huge. This isn't even counting the stuff I want to do. All this is before considering that I will likely do other new things in the future. These three categories combined make for a lot of things. Ye gods.

    To review more stuff. Sometimes things just have to be said.

    To continue to stress the importance of anatomies and understanding how things work in real life. Before you get a style of your own, you gotta know the basics. Know how men, women, children, mammals, insects, houses, boats, landscapes, lighting, and all those other things are put together. You do not do yourself any favours by saying 'screw that' and uttering the ancient cry of 'it's how I do things, not all things have to be exactly like real life, geez stop stifling me'. Learn how the real-world things work and come together. Practice, practice, practice. Then, once you are confident, do you make your changes. But just building/drawing the symbol? That's laziness, folks. There's no excuse.

    To not get so depressed by the 'mockery of noobs' culture. There are people better than this out there. You know that, Jen. You know some of them. They are a lovely, intelligent, pleasant sort of people. They're quiet, is all. These people exist. Hope is not lost. Chin up and go kill some sigs or something.

    To actually post blog entries every so often. And cheery ones at that. Seriously, what is this entry? It almost sounds like I'm capable of brooding! That just ain't right. I'm'a thinking I need something Willis, pronto.
  4. Tufi Piyufi
    So I've been staff for... cripes, almost three years now?... And I've seen more than my fair share of spam in that time. I've been BBC staff for about two and a half years, and I had a fair stretch of time in Artwork the Whole too. As such, I've seen just about every way possible that people can spam. I wouldn't go so far as to say I've seen 'em all: one has never seen it all, and can never hope to. All the same, I've seen a lot of that sort of thing, and I may as well go on about some of 'em.
     
    Generic Posts
     
    These are possibly the most frustrating to deal with, as not only are they so easy to do(and thus pop up very, very frequently), but to the poster's eyes, they can appear as perfectly legitimate posts, and are thus reposted (often in almost identical form) after deletion, even though this is not something you are to do. Deletion occurs for a reason: we don't just ride into topics and lop off posts at random for the thrill of it. The thing is, they're also some of the easiest for the poster to correct: all you have to do is take a look at the MOC, pick out something you like, and talk about that. Though, this does somewhat lead into my next point:
     
    'Nice design' does not count as a specific comment
     
    Oh, if I had a buck for every time I've seen this. It's akin to saying 'nice MOC', it's that generic. At the very least, 'nice legs' or 'like the weapon' narrows it down a bit(though it is still very, very borderline, and I'd highly recommend that you add more to such a post), but 'nice design' really says nothing at all. So, if that's all I see, bye bye post.
     
    'Reporting...'/'That's spam!'
     
    You don't need to tell the whole board you're reporting a topic/post. You really don't. Likewise, you don't need to post just to tell somebody that they're spamming. All we ask is that you just report the post/topic quietly. We'll take care of it from there. That's what we're here for, after all.
     
    'She's hot! *insert drooling*'
     
    Not technically spam, but it fits quite snugly into the category of 'things I've seen too much of.' After all, I was a host for Contest #30 and I was still in Artwork(I think, my memory might be a bit blurred since I still spend a fair bit of time in there anyways) when the explosion of 'borderline' art hit. Now I'm going to say something about it.
     
    Yes, there are numerous young males on this forum that are around 'that age.' That is still no excuse to let the forum descend into an inferno of hormones. We still expect a certain amount of maturity and decency from our members: topics for a female MOC or art piece that turn into little more than a discussion of her 'attractiveness' fall below these standards. Sometimes, this starts with the opening post itself. I've closed several topics for this very reason. In some cases, I- and other staff members of the forum in question- have posted warnings beforehand, but we still wind up having to close them anyways. We shouldn't have to. We really shouldn't. A MOC/art piece being female shouldn't be an unspoken invitation to scrutinize her 'attractiveness.' It's not a necessary component in reviewing female MOCs/art pieces. I could go into BBC or Artwork and do the same with every male MOC/art piece, but would I? No.
     
    Besides, you wouldn't stand a chance with her anyways- you best just move on from that.
     
    And there we go. Some notes on what not to do. For your reading and reference.
  5. Tufi Piyufi

    One Of Those Days

    By Tufi Piyufi,

    I think I'm having one of those days.
     
    You know, those days where you wouldn't be caught dead in public with your minions? When disownage is the most attractive option? Those days where you just want to grab a big mug of hot chocolate, curl up on the sofa with the List of Heredity, and take the red DQing Sharpie to a couple names?
     
    No? That's fine. It's okie. It's not exactly something I'd wish on people.
     
    In any case, that's the sort of day I'm having. This is what I get for building up hope for the infamous Piyufi minions. Just when I thought there'd be dignity at last...
     
    Sigh. I guess Schizo can be Empress if it ever comes down to that. He'd prolly look better in the dress and tiara.
  6. Tufi Piyufi
    In order to break this horrific block of inactivity, I know I have to post some manner of entry. Thing is, I have no clue what to write about. This does not help things.
     
    Therefore, I'm gonna have to do one of those sorts of entries.
     
    You heard me. What you do is ask me questions, and what I do is answer them. Or not answer them, if it's something I'd really rather not discuss. Or smite inappropriate stuff.
     
    So? Go for it.
  7. Tufi Piyufi
    So I do these things. I have these MOCs, I take pictures of them, I do this in some sort of sequence. Text is added in post-production. End result is a story. Most glorious. It's one of the biggest reasons for the whole Fun With Toa dealie... cripes I still have to take a whole bunch of pictures for that.
     
    Anyways. Backlog. I haven't actually posted one of these things for ages... I dunno, I guess I've been too lazy or, in the case of the Festivus story, forgot to post it at some decent time. And after a while, there's just no posting them... they're too old. Just... stale. There's fresher to be found and made and posted. Then the blog came along, where I can post such things without that sensation of oldness ruining things. Hurrah!
     
    But first, for the pure heck of it, the one that started it all. Kihnok's still around, actually, though the colours have been rearranged a bit. A little history for you all.
     
    Then there was this little thing. Went out one day, had some sets on me, took some pictures. Decided things were best muted. I still love that second shot of the Vahki in the tree.
     
    Then one day some years ago, snow fell in Vancouver. This was the One Day of the Year Snow Falls in Vancouver for the year, and I decided to take advantage of things. Also the only story visibly set at night. Actually tons of fun to set up and mash snow into and all that good stuff.
     
    And now I leave you with some off-season fun. Why, what else could it be but... a Festivus story. I had plans for one last year, but time was short and I was mountains away from my figures and things. This year, though...
     
    Whether I remember to post it is another story.
  8. Tufi Piyufi
    I've just been that busy.
     
    Status: Over over over
    Current Location: Home, hurrah
     
    Day Three: They love us! They really really love us! There were lots more of them than us, and they laughed this time! Not like the previous night, where they didn't really laugh that much. No, they laughed, and they laughed often. It actually felt like a comedy. As it should.
     
    But then I missed that infernal tea cue. All I had to do was bring out tea, and I was late. I recovered, though. I'd feel worse if other people hadn't missed their cues and skipped huge chunks of dialogue. Since they did, I've come to accept my delay.
     
    Day Four: So in that long stretch of time between school and play, four of us head off to the local mall to pick up some manner of gift for the rest of the cast. A box of Purdy's is considered, but then we (read: one of us) get cheap and just buy two boxes of Pot of Gold instead. The same one of us insists that we'll need a third box in order to have enough for everyone, but the rest of us insist that two is plenty. It was, by the way. Not like anyone really ate them.
     
    We return. Costumes are donned. Hair is messed with. Play is performed. Card for teacher-director-boss is signed. Close call is had with said card and the secrecy surrounding it. I help maintain secrecy of card. Play is finished. Curtain call. We get out there and remind the audience that we've got Grade Twelves in the cast that, yes, have just had their last performance in a high school play. The gift for teacher-director-boss is given, complete with card. We all head back into the 'greenroom' (really just the class sharing a gap in the wall with our 'theatre' of a classroom). That is when it gets touching and sad and people cry and oh my gods we're gonna miss you you Grade Twelves you. And the chocolates are so not eaten. I knew I shoulda stolen a box after all.
     
    Then I get to go home, but not before picking up a cherry milkshake. Cripes they're good.
     
    Day Five: Things sink in. We realize we can actually go home at a reasonable hour today. Cast party is planned. Not much happens. I keep my majorly gelled-and-bunned hair, partly out of happiness with how it turned out and partly out of laziness, since I'd just have to wash out the gunk anyways. That's about it.
     
    So that's where I've been for this past week. In case you were curious.
  9. Tufi Piyufi
    Status: Three-and-half hours to go before showtime
    Current Location: Safely out of notice of a gathering of 'volunteers' to move stuff around, so there, you three
     
    Oh cripes is it a long day. Very, very long day. Helped none by the fact it's absolutely beautiful outside, might I add. Though I have had the chance to get out there. You know, to eat lunch and get some ice cream and go down Memory Lane and all that. But now that is over. Now there is only waiting. At least an hour until the possibility of hair/makeup/etc. There have been talks of 'slicking me back' hairwise, seeing as how I'm supposed to be a guy and all. Well, at least I don't have to deal with the massive hair-fiddling that the female roles have to go through. Woo!
     
    And now I just watched a guy tie a tie when he did not know how to tie a tie before. I am inspired. Awed, even.
     
    Six-and-a-half hours total to go. This is gonna be such a long week. You know, spending too much time at school and all.
  10. Tufi Piyufi
    Status: Dress rehearsal
    Current location: Beginning of Act II
     
    Note to self: drink water before standing in one spot in dress shirt and vest for ten minutes. Not a fun feeling, being ready to collapse on stage.
     
    This thing's a lot funnier than Midsummer Night's Dream, which was definitely written by a man who defined a comedy as 'everyone lives to see the end and then they all couple up'. However, there is definitely a tradeoff... this thing's a whole lot longer. Takes us so long just to get through the first two acts... Gah. But the other two seem shorter. That's the current theory, anyways. Here's hoping it's right.
     
    We'll be here until dinnertime, at least... but then again, rumour has it pizza of some manner will be ordered. Yay!
     
    And thus, some boredom was smote. Just another page to go until I get to go back on, yay... yay yay yay...
  11. Tufi Piyufi
    So I've been contemplating what to post next for a few days now. There's only so much ranting I can do, and I'm not about to turn this into some 'oh my day was so awful here's every minute detail' journal thing. Just can't do it. Then again, coming up with decent ideas hasn't been so easy either. Nothing inspiring, unless we're willing to go back to the modly ranting thing again... It's quite the dilemma. I take comfort in the fact that this is hardly an isolated thing, however: the same block's struck just about everything else.
     
    For starters, there's the whole MOCing thing. I am exceedingly selective in what I build. I simply cannot bring myself to build a plain old humanoid with a plain old weapon, simply because that form has been done to death a million times over. I don't like Castle... never a big fan of the whole medieval thing. I don't do Trains, mostly because I don't actually have any Train-y pieces. Town... nah. Never was too big on Space for some reason. It's always got to be somewhere in the area of left field for me, be it System or Bionicle.
     
    So I don't settle for any old concept that comes into my head. It has to be off-beat. It has to be different. It has to be strange. The very nature of these ideas results in them not coming around very often. After all, if they hit me every day, they'd start being less and less out-of-nowhere, right?
     
    Art... I never really drew all that much. Mostly sticking to the whole Lego thing. But now I draw absolutely nothing. Oh well. And I've even got ideas for a story- yes, something in the realm of writing-, you know, counter to the whole 'Hahli isn't incredibly pretty and feminine end of the world!' thing. But I've not even put a word to keyboard. Le sigh. It would be such a good thing to whack people with, too.
     
    Well... at least I got a blog entry out of all this.
  12. Tufi Piyufi

    Reassure Me

    By Tufi Piyufi,

    Tell me I'm not the only one who feels this way.
     
    Remind me I'm not the only one more miffed by the person flaming the spammer than the spammer themselves.
     
    Show me that people still see the value in using the report button.
     
    Let me know that someone out there sees that it's more use to the novice creative mind to kindly help them improve than to tear them down for thinking they're better than they really are.
     
    Reassure me of these things.
     
    I know you guys are out there. I know you're still out there. Sometimes, though, you get these feelings of doubt when you're looking at the opposite all the time. Just gimme a little poke and reminder, eh?
  13. Tufi Piyufi

    Rectification

    By Tufi Piyufi,

    So, I have this blog. I also haven't posted anything in this blog for a while. I also also have this MOC. I am not especially attached to making a topic for it just to send my post count up a tiny bit. As well, the text and meaning behind the MOC would be more at home in a blog entry than in a topic. Therefore, the solution is to post an entry about it.
     
    Rectification
     
    As we all know, Bionicle is a subset of the general Lego realm. It also isn't an especially loved one (outside of the whole Bionicle fandom, of course). It's been a little over five years now, and yet it's still scoffed at and reviled by the 'System-side' of things. People still cringe when they see so much as a hip joint and limb in a System set. They cry out 'contamination!' and other such things. They mock Bionicle's 'incompatibility' with System, and yet, when Bionicle does pop up in a System set... it's the end of the world.
     
    I find this attitude extremely tiring, for lack of a better word. That's what makes the inevitability all the sweeter. You see, you guys are growing up. Some of you are in your late teens. Some of you are already past that 18-year mark. This last group of you are, by definition, AFOLs. Yet, you like Bionicle. You're not adverse to it. You may even build with it. You prove that the Bionicle-loving AFOL is not an oxymoron.
     
    Thus, the vignette. On the table is the MOC Washimilna (found elsewhere in my gallery, and painfully overdue for a rebuild) and a few of the Fun With Toa figures. Go ahead and guess who. On the floor are a couple of people. One has just mocked the presence of Bionicle at a convention. The other one isn't too amused by this. The other one also has a glaive. It started off as a relatively simple annoyed-Tufi vignette, but now I guess you could see the two people as representative of the two generations, if you were so inclined.
     
    If there was ever a contest theme I'd revisit (though I prefer new ideas), it'd be Fusion Freebuild. That'd be a good one to combine with the off-BZP concept of #38. Alas, we've still got a fair bit of time before we should be considering that one. Still...
     
    A MOC with a message. Enjoy.
  14. Tufi Piyufi

    Revelation!

    By Tufi Piyufi,

    Now I know what I'm doing with this thing! It's so obvious now! I'll post whatever I feel like at that moment! Hah! No pigenholing here! Not for puffins! Exclamation marks! Exclamation marks!
     
    ... yep, totally going crazy.
     
    An insanity which definitely isn't being helped by this little dilemma... Pure black dragon wings. The one colour I could ever ask them to be in, except maybe black/light blue. Oh, that'd be nice, too... Anyways. Big Batmobile with black dragon wings. Big, expensive Batmobile with black dragon wings. Something in the realm of $109.99 Canadian. Just for those wings? Oh, I don't think so. Maybe not even for the other 1000+ pieces.
     
    But they're right up there with the black Huna and the teal Kakama in terms of pure must-have awesome, and somehow, I came into one of the former after many years... Well, I suppose I'll just have to weasel in to somebody's Bricklink order. Yes... and then life will be swell.
  15. Tufi Piyufi
    Extremely shameless.
     
    So I'm just about sure that I have every Katamari song that one can have. And, it is glorious. Even the music for the games I don't have. Funny how they had to release Beautiful Katamari on the one console we don't own. That doesn't stop me from loving the music, though. Gods no. Why, 'Katamari Dancing' is my favourite of the themes. Lately, I've mostly been trapped in a wonderful loop of instrumentals from We
     
    So, uh, yeah. I should mention that I love this series? To bits. The tiniest, easily-picked-up bits. Even that psychopathic rose. Actually, no. The rose can burn. But I still love it in some weird way.
     
    Sorry. I'm getting fangirl all over the carpet. I'll clean that up.
  16. Tufi Piyufi

    Smeag Aid

    By Tufi Piyufi,

    BBC IMPERIAL PALACE, BZ-Metru-
     
    It was announced late Thursday night that a benefit concert will be held in support of Forum Assistant Smeagol4. The contest, known as 'Smeag Aid', will be held to raise funds for Smeagol4's inevitable and extensive therapy.
     
    "I just figure he's been through a lot, even for an FA," Global Moderator and BBC Empress Latufia Piyufi offered as a reason for her curious generosity, "And believe me, if it's in excess of normal FA-madness levels, then it's pretty dang high."
     
    Though a full roster has not been announced yet, it is known that Elton John will be performing and may also pull out some fancy piano tricks just to ease the soul of the tormented FA. It is rumoured that Freddie Mercury, John Bonham, Keith Moon, and the assorted dead members of Lynrd Skynrd (with their respective bands, presumably) will also be appearing, though the necessary catalysts to such events naturally have people wondering. Empress Piyufi, however, seemed unconcerned when asked about how she was going to bring back all those dead people.
     
    "Oh, please. Ressurection's cake. A rivetail here, a rivetail there, and everything's fine," she explained, with a wave of her hand.
     
    When asked for a tentative date for the concert, reporters mysteriously fell dead. The survivors were told that, with regards to any further information, "[Empress Piyufi]'d get back to you on that." The press conference ended abruptly thereafter.
     
    Smeagol4 was unavailable for comment.
     
    -Reuters
  17. Tufi Piyufi

    So Incredibly Sad

    By Tufi Piyufi,

    Coronation Street. Yes, I watch it. Before making a snarky comment on that, I remind you who has the Global powers here.
     
    But oh cripes. Mike. It's absolutely heartrending watching his current story... We just got up to the point where he's sitting outside the restaurant. It's such a scary thing in real life, and even seeing a dramatisation of it...
     
    At least we got some good Battersby time out of that episode, too.
     
    And, um, yeah, please be with the not-discussing of specific plot bits. Canada's almost ten months behind (currently on Christmastime 2005 episodes), so I'm not too keen on getting spoilers splashed up in here, and I dunno if there's anyone who's even further behind us (I think I've heard something, though), so it'd be best for all if we avoided the spoilers. Note the vagueness in the above portion of the entry. Nothing more specific than that, please.
     
    So yeah, Tufi watches Coronation Street. Got something to make of that?
  18. Tufi Piyufi

    So, So Close

    By Tufi Piyufi,

    11:59 PM on a Wednesday night. Board is still down whilst we try to work on things. I have had the urge to blog for ages, yet only now do I have the material. Please, folks, do I look like your 'entry-every-day-about-boring-boring-life' blogger? I should hope you know me better than that.
     
    Festivus is the 23rd. That means I have two, three days to get it done and posted.
     
    "It?" you ask. "Ah yes. And you've mentioned the idea itself for ages now. Why the sudden deadlineitis?"
     
    Because I'm making things all the more official today.
     
    That, my dears, was the gauntlet that just fell. Don't worry: it's for me.
     
    It will make much, much more sense when you actually see the whole thing, which you really will I promise you. I just have to work out a few teensy little details first. Like how to make a Barbie phone stay in a hipjoint hand. Also, those accursed curtains. And the miniature...
     
    Also, the photography and post-production. Minor details like those. Other than that, the script is done (and huge... oh gods why does it have to be so huge), the cast is done, the stage is done, I know the last things that must be done...
     
    It's 11:59, and I wanna stay alive.
  19. Tufi Piyufi
    I present to you this image.
     

     
    Is it a symbol of the futility of man's struggle against the inanimate? Something more abstract? Or is it just a bit of much-needed frivolity in a rookie admin's blog?
     
    (it's the last one)
     
    (I swear I'll get a proper entry on the contest and promotion and all that up at some point)
  20. Tufi Piyufi
    Exhibit five.
     
    Based on the first story in the whole project thing (yes, that's done and yes, I'm working on the second one). Once/if you've read the story, you'll see what's up with this picture. Also why I left it kinda sketchy. Hey, it was a rough day.
     
    Speaking of which, I should really wrap up that second story soon. Then I'll have to decide if I'm still going to wait for a minimum of three finished stories (not counting intro seen earlier in this blog) before posting the topic in Comedies, or if I can wing it with two. Hn. I'd really like to take that step soon...
     
    Hn.
  21. Tufi Piyufi
    So you got yer fan-made groups of Toa, right. Doesn't have to be Toa, really, but that's what you're most likely to run into. And then, of course, there's the ever-so-delightful patterns Lego has set up. And then, because you're reading a Tufi blog entry, you know which one in particular I'm gonna mention next. It can range from two guys/one girl to five guys/one girl to seven guys/one girl or even six guys/two girls, if the creator is outrageously forward-thinking.
     
    But wait! There's more numbers! There are so many numbers yet to come! From the rest of the group (because guys can be distinct and girls are just, to kick off an entry of trope-dropping, The Chick), you've got the leader. Or you've got the self-insert. Sometimes they're the same guy. For the ease of writing, and because there's no real difference in how the two operate in this phenomenon, we're gonna suppose they are in fact the same guy. He can range anywhere from a straight-up personality port with the occasional superpower and Stuish tendencies to full-on raging Gary Stu. You will always know him when you see him. He isn't necessarily the creator's explicit self-insert, but you will always know him.
     
    Know also that there is a 94% chance the girl!Toa will be his girlfriend. 1% of the time, they'll be out-and-out married.
     
    Alright, I'm fudging the numbers a bit there. Sometimes there's just really heavy romantic tension. And I haven't actually seen any that are married. But that's fairly irrelevant: all I'd have to do to correct it is change 'girlfriend' to 'some kind of romantic thing going on'. And maybe add that one percent back. To say 95% of The Girl Ones exist for some kind of romantic deal with the Self Leader Guy is an overstatement of mere thousandths of percentage points.
     
    This is the Happy Funtimes List portion of the blog entry, and what I want you to do is take this with you next time you run across one of these My Bionicle Girlfriends. Take the list and a moderately-to-extremely caffeinated beverage of your choice. I do not, in fact, want you to incur liver damage.
     
    Take a sip every time one of these is true:

    She is romantically attracted to the Self Leader Guy She is his girlfriend It is even admitted she is based on a girlfriend or a girl the creator fancies Every single word used to describe her that means attractive Take additional sips at personal discretion if she is continually described as attractive throughout the given work/description/topic She's the 'emotional centre' of the group She's the wisest of the group She's always supportive of Self Leader Guy's leadership She's feisty, but never too spirited She's 'mysterious' and may as well be a different species from the rest of her (male) group She has a mask that serves no practical offensive purpose, barring the presence of mindblowing writing/mindrending writing Three if she has an elemental power along the lines of 'love' or 'light' or 'spirit': five in addition (for eight total) if, god help us, it is love She's got pink somewhere (most likely in non-MOC incarnations, naturally) Despite all logic, she is the only one for miles (which is how long it'll take to find another woman, and surprise surprise...) with any sort of hair or hair analogue Extra sip for a given point if it is described in terms that describe it as 'unlike the men' or 'better than the males' or other similar language Once finished the given item (or if out of pop: this is a very real threat), start the stopwatch. The final score is how long it takes for the world to stop shaking, measured in hours:minutes:seconds.
     
    Have I yet mentioned how incredibly likely it is she's gonna be Self Leader Guy's girlfriend? It is so very likely. Why, she might actually be based on his girlfriend in real life. But why stop there? Why not base her on who the creator would like for a girlfriend? There ain't no law. Might be kinda creepy, but ain't no law. You will know when the Bionicle relationship is not based on an actual relationship if the Bionicle relationship is utterly, crystal-perfectly idealized. Then there is the event horizon past which even an idolized crush has been raised to such a point in the work where she can only be said to be utterly fictional. It is as terrifying as it sounds. Lovecraft would have written about this, if it wasn't for his issues.
     
    And she's always pretty. Or beautiful. Sexy? Alluring? Take your pick. It's been used. The key point is how the narrative describes her. A character or two going on about her atrractiveness is one thing. When everyone, even the narration, can't shut up about how mesmerizing she is or something, you got a whole other ball of wax. Clearly, in the Bionicle universe, there is only one option for female characters: attractive. Unless there's old women or more bestial races, but don't expect them to be spared from the lookswash. Bonus points if she's called on to use her sexiness for some end. And god help us all if the word 'wiles' ever hits the screen. Actually, at that point, we're beyond divine intervention.
     
    Don't get your hopes up over any real subgroups of Bionicle Girlfriends: they're all basically the same character. Imagine, if you will, a control board. The biggest feature on this board is 'emotional sensitivity'. To the left is the label 'tough but with a chewy, care-y centre'. To the right is 'absolute pacifist who's more in touch with life and things than those barbarian men'. You quickly find that the left label is a sterling example of an informed attribute and, if a work goes on long enough, blatantly lying about the toughness. There are more things wrong with the right label than you wish to consider at the moment. Cringing a bit, you check out the rest of the board, whisking your gaze away like children in the wrong place.
     
    The 'wisdom' slider. You find quickly it will not go below a certain value of 'wise'. Squinting to read the words carefully, you see 'far more enlightened than the males of the group' at the top. You recoil a little bit, wondering if you didn't just leave behind the section on antiquated notions of gender. Maybe the one next to it is better?
     
    'Assertiveness'. Yes. Here we go. You feel hope once again. On the one side, 'totally passive'. On the other side... 'Sometimes She Says And Does Some Things, But This Is Not To Be Mistaken For Actual Independence Or Spirit Or Any Of Those Uncomfortable Things'. The board does not survive its encounter with the trendy brick wall. It became all-too-apparent that the Bionicle Girlfriend occupies a neat little role as 'accessory'. 'Sidekick'. Not quite on equal footing with Self Leader Guy. We need to maintain those gender roles, you know. It also becomes all-too-apparent you picked the wrong day to stop playing caffeine drinking games.
     
    Speaking of, here's a bonus round for artwork. Extra sip if she's portrayed all snuggly or fawn-y with Self Leader Guy. It's hardly mandatory: inclusion in the game proper is probably going to push you to dangerous levels and/or tax your drink reserves. And in that same vein, be ever-wary of toa!Huki/Maku art. Ever wary.
     
    And then, Narrator preserve us, there's the little issue of her powers. It is where you cry 'what kind of a lame power is heart, anyway', but never conclude that 'heart is an awesome power'. There's her mask, typically something mental in nature. The telekinesis is never used to awesome ends. Or sometimes she's saddled with the just plain useless ones. It's never anything offensive: apparently, the shapes of those aren't nearly as 'feminine' enough as the fandom might like. And oh, the things I could go on about there.
     
    But what about her element? But what, indeed. Usually, it's something from the scant handful of 'female' elements. Sometimes, someone has the guts to stand up to canon (I like to think my being Empress means canon will never rule in BBC) and give her another one of the standard elements. There is a third option, though, and it is far more common. Apparently, having people tell you 'but fire is for boys' is far more dreadful than freaking spirit or 'light' or love sweet Jason people make love an element with a straight face.
     
    Ahem. Never forget the old gods. That said, the third option is woe-inducing. It's always something so blandly, sterotypically 'feminine.' Like 'spirit'. Or 'light'- but not the normal light tribe. Oh no. It's usually more angelic in nature, because blah blah purity (another one!) blah blah too good for this wicked planet blah blah angels. And then we get to the unspeakable horror that is Toa of love, and I just puked in my mouth a little. I'd like to think that says it all. Please. Please tell me that says it all.
     
    All these things and more (so, so much more) combine to make Bionicle Girlfriends. And they're everywhere. There's no escape. Even the rare 'second girl' has a 70% chance of falling into this category, though generally with another character. While maybe not fitting the classic definitions of Relationship Sues, there's no mistaking what they are in form and intention. So yes, guys, we did in fact see what you did there. And you can't see it through the Internet, but we're cringing.
     
    Or you could, you know, not do this and just make good characters that happen to be female. That's always been an option.
  22. Tufi Piyufi
    The location of a related picture. Oh, Photo-Paint.
     
    Yes, yes, I'm alive, huzzah. Haven't had much to blog about lately, is all. But now I have the above to show you. Oh yes. Working on the people portion as we speak. That should be fun. Also conversion of the picture into a desktop. Cripes do I need a new desktop.
     
    Oh, and also finished one of them stories for the comedy portion. Hurrah. Now to start on some more. Not posting that thing until I get at least three done, you see. Two to go...
  23. Tufi Piyufi
    So there is this thing I do, you see. All done for the glory of scale and not taking up all the good pieces in a few MOCs, which in turn is related to having more than three or four characters built at any one time. So they're what one may call Toa modifications. So what? They are to me as Megos are to those wonderful, wonderful brilliant genius comedic masters at Toyfare.
     
    Anyhow. In each folder, as with just about every other folder I have in my gallery, I have a line or two or three outlining a basic backstory for that figure. Sometimes it isn't even backstory: sometimes it's just a snarky comment or something else like that. It's really not very expository. I have to rely on the picture stories for that. And, as you may have noticed, I haven't exactly been turning those out lately.
     
    I have something all ready to shoot, though, provided I can work out how/where to lug all the huge props that are absolutely crucial. Not only does the entire story revolve around them, they are also pure awesome.
     
    As for the text files, these are rather unsatisfying. I like having something quick and snappy in the folders, but I also want something more extensive, you know? Therefore, I've been slowly (even more so than The Project) writing up bios for all figures found in the Fun With Toa folder. It's been slow, but fun. I've got three done already. Go me!
     
    So yeah. Some progress for you.
  24. Tufi Piyufi
    Yeah, I've still been thinking about the great BBC Empire comedic fiction multi-whatever project. Just because I haven't exactly 'been' here for the past few days doesn't mean Tufi-thoughts and -things haven't been done.
     
    First of all, yeah, multi-whatever. There's the main fanfic-ish thing, of course. It'd prolly be in more of a serial format than one big defined story, where there'd be the individual stories, but they're all on the same continuity plane. If that makes sense. I think I lost my coherency somewhere after 'serial'. But that's the key word here. And then, of course, there's the art, if I ever get that infernal scanner hooked back up. And then... well... oh, there's no easy way to say this... something with those sprites I work on every blue moon or so... comic. There. Yeah, you heard me. This, in turn, would prolly be some sorta blog-only thing, because I simply do not trust myself to keep a topic like that alive. No, much better if I release an arc all at once every so often.
     
    And yes I do so have ideas for what these stories would be. Naturally, the written bits would be bigger and tons more substantial, and the sprite thing would cover smaller, lighter things. Yes, continuity would be maintained between the two. Love that continuity. You tend to develop an affinity for continuity when you're the kid of a scriptie.
     
    Maybe I'll scratch something out for practice soon. Hn. Possibly. Yes.
  25. Tufi Piyufi

    The Block

    By Tufi Piyufi,

    If you'll look to your right, you'll see a shiny new content block. You get three guesses as to which one it is.
     
    I've had the idea for a while now, but it took the suggestion of such by one BCii to get me seriously thinking about it. Now, here it is. Some of the stuff's super-old, and some hasn't even been posted ever. Not only has it all been gathered up, but it's also in an assumedly continuous order. Hurrah.
     
    So?
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