TNTOS

Official ECC Review:Before I jump into the more critical part of the review, let me just say that I noticed no problems with your spelling, grammar, or punctuation whatsoever. The only thing I have to say is that you should really only use all caps for emphasizing individual words, and even then only rarely. All caps just reeks of amateurism and is kind of annoying to read, especially on the Internet.The story itself feels incredibly weak. The characters are two-dimensional and underdeveloped, the plot is way too simplistic, and the pacing is awkward at best.Take Zeltronus Pyro's betrayal, for instance. It felt to me that, because you're basically doing the whole Transfomers origin story except with BIONICLE-style characters, you needed someone to be the Fallen but didn't really want to go to all of the trouble of actually showing Zeltronus grow dissatisfied with Primus. To me, it felt like you just randomly picked Zeltronus's name out of the hat and decided, "Zeltronus it is" without even questioning why Zeltronus, out of all of the Primes, would do this.The deaths of the other Pyros/Primes were completely underwhelming. It makes me wonder how they managed to lead the Cybertronians for as long as they did if less than half a dozen Vortixx with poisoned knives could take them out so quickly. I felt no emotional reactions from the deaths of any of the Primes because you never gave us a reason to care for them, outside of the fact that they're the "good" guys, which isn't a good reason to make readers care for a character.Things happened way too quickly and vaguely. Take this scene for example:

"Precisely." Pyras did what no Toa of Fire had ever done. He performed a Nova Blast, yet he manipulated it. "RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YOU WILL PAY FOR YOUR CRIMES!" He blasted the Fallen through the Hall of Canisters, forcing him into one and sealing it with heat. "BE IMPRISONED FOR ETERNITY!"

Senturon was the one to answer. "Zeltronus went poopy!""No way! I'm his namesake!" The young Zeltroth shuddered, and the Vortixx hurled a stone at the crowd, knocking them out. The children would survive, but never remember this again, waking with amnesia.

Quick question: If I post another chapter before my epic is reviewed, does the new chapter get reviewed as well?

Member Name: TNTOSTheme: FlightWord Count: 578Story: The Test“Okay,” said the Le-Matoran instructor, sitting in the passenger’s seat beside Kongu. “Have you quick-checked the levitation and weight disks?”Kongu nodded. “First thing I quick-checked, instructor-sir.”The instructor scribbled on his pad. “The chutes?”“Full,” Kongu answered. “And capped-blocked, too.”The instructor scratched something else down. “Levers and pulleys fully operational?”“Completely, instructor-sir,” said Kongu, pointing at the pulleys before him. “I had my engineer-friend look them over beforehand.”“Emergency lights and radar systems in proper condition?”“Of course, instructor-sir.”“All safety procedures followed?”“To the letter, instructor-sir.”“Then let’s commence-begin the flight test.”Kongu smiled and nodded and turned to the controls. Although Kongu was careful not to show it, his nerves were wracking him so badly that he almost forgot what to do. If he passed this test, he’d become a licensed airship pilot. If he failed . . . well, he could always be a chute monitor, Kongu supposed.All right, Kongu thought. Just need to pull-grab this pulley and up-high we’ll go.The Le-Matoran pulled the pulley toward himself. The airship lurched, almost throwing the instructor off his seat, though thankfully he was securely tied down thanks to his seat belt.“Quick-sorry about that,” said Kongu, hastily letting go of the pulley to turn his attention to the instructor.That caused the ship to lurch back, knocking the instructor’s skull back against his seat’s head. “Ow! Keep your eyes on the sky, student!”“Yes, instructor-sir,” said Kongu, turning his attention back to the controls.This time, the airship flew although Kongu noticed out of the corner of his eye that the instructor was frowning and scribbling something on his pad. Kongu tried to ignore the instructor. His friend, Matau, had told him that as long as he kept his cool, Kongu would be able to pass.The airship was now in the sky, but it was not moving. Kongu had yet to unleash the capped proto chutes because he was busily making sure that the airship was steady and aiming forward. He’d heard tales of careless students who’d uncapped the chutes when the airship was aiming slightly toward the ground, which usually resulted in a bloody, messy death for everyone involved.The sensors indicated that the airship was stable, so Kongu said to the instructor, “Which way do I go-fly, instructor-sir?”“Go-fly north,” said the instructor, pointing straight ahead. “Just don’t-“In his eagerness to obey the instructor’s commands, Kongu immediately pulled the lever that uncapped the chutes. He opened them a little too wide, however, for the ship shot forward at dangerous speeds. They were flying straight toward a building and would have crashed into it had the instructor not immediately flipped the emergency break switch just in time.Without warning, the airship stopped so abruptly that Kongu was thrown forward and hit the controls. Shaking his head, Kongu looked at the instructor and smiled sheepishly.“So . . . did I pass-succeed the test?” said Kongu, although he knew the answer even before the instructor answered.“No,” said the instructor, shaking his head. “You failed-loss. Land the airship and we’ll speak-discuss your future later.”Kongu nodded unhappily and landed the airship, though this time he was careful to do things right so they wouldn’t crash into the ground.As Kongu and the instructor exited the airship, Kongu decided that maybe being a chute monitor wouldn’t be such a bad job after all. Would be easier than flying airships, at any rate.

Reviewed Broken Hope.-TNTOS-

Official ECC Review:First off, I'd like to say that I like how you set this epic in the future Spherus Magna (or, as you call it, New Spherus). It's an idea I myself am going to use for a fanfic in the future, so by reading this I am getting an idea of what other people might have already done with the concept.Second, choosing Metus as the main antagonist is interesting. I think he's probably working with Teridax, considering all of the clues you've given us so far to his master's identity. Then again, Teridax is supposed to be dead, but I don't know who else it coud be.Third, your chapters are quite short, but shortness isn't a flaw. A chapter should be as long or as short as it needs to be (plus it takes less time to read shorter chapters than longer ones ).I think your biggest problem is spelling, grammar, and punctuation. You make too many mistakes each chapter for me to quote them all. I hesitae to quote even a few because that might give off the impression that those are the only ones worth worrying about when all are equally worrisome. I suggest you read some English reference books or have someone who understands composition better than you read over your chapters before your post them.Also, several things puzzle me about this story. How did Metus take over "the city" (which you never name, so far as I can tell) so quickly? Why didn't Zacax, a Toa, know that the other Toa were all imprisoned underneath the building in which he apparently worked? Why aren't Ambera and Lornatiz/Lornitaz, two Toa, also imprisoned? Why can Zacax control two elements (fire and electricity) whereas all of the other Toa we've met so far can only control one? Why does no one seem to care that Metus is in charge? Even if no one knows that Metera and Metus are one and the same, surely they wouldn't be happy to have such an obviously evil fellow ruling them? Or is Metus pretending to be a benevolent ruler?Thing is, your readers can't read your mind. You may have several good answers for those questions I listed, but thus far you have not mentioned them in the story. You need realize that your readers only know as much about the story as you write, so if you want them to know more, then make sure to foresee as many possible questions as you can and to answer them as best as you can in the story.The characters are flat, two-dimensional, and uninteresting. Metus is just your cliched evil villain, while Zacax is nothing more than your generic main character. Vakama acts very different from how he does in the official story and, while new takes on canon characters can be interesting, this isn't.I also question the inclusion of Ambera and Lornatiz/Lornitaz. Thus far, they have added nothing to the story. I'm not saying that they need to interact with the main plot immediately, but Chapter 3 was completely pointless to the plot and so was most of Chapter 6. Every chapter should include something plot-related, which is where Chapter 3 fails because so far neither Lornatiz/Lornitaz nor Ambera have affected the plot much, if at all.Also, why is Helsina (AKA Kiina) fighting Lornatiz/Lornitaz? There's no explanation. Is it because Lornatiz/Lornitaz is trying to attack Metus? Or does Metus consider Lornatiz/Lornitaz a threat and so sent Helsina to capture her? Just seems too random to me. I am especially concerned about Ambera, who apparently doesn't care too much about her master who has mysteriously disappeared without a trace.And why would Kiina (or Helsina, as she is call here) work for Metus? This is the same guy who tried to kill Mata Nui, who you have implied in the story Kiina is in love with. Add to the fact that Kiina knows that Metus is working with Teridax and it still doesn't make any sense. At least Takanuva (AKA Garncha) has a plausible reason for working for the enemy, for someone else is controlling his body. Kiina, on the other hand, is apparently working for Metus of her own free will, which makes no sense at all.You may have noticed I write "Lornatiz/Lornitaz" whenever I write the Toa of Psionics' name. That's because in the story you inconsistently use both spellings for the character's name.In Chapter 3 it is Lornatiz, but in Chapter 6 it is Lornitaz. Which is it? You have to be consistent with your characters' names because you, the author, are the only one who knows the correct spelling. Choose one spelling and stick with it. Never let your readers second guess because it will detract them from the story, which is not what you're aiming to do (hopefully).Overall, I am not impressed with this story. It feels like a very early, very rough draft due to the lack of description, lack of character development, numerous plot holes and unexplained events, and the multitude of spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors.I am not saying everything about this epic is bad or that you should abandon it. What I am saying is that this story needs improvement. As I said before, you should probably read some reference guides on the English language to help with your style, which is your biggest problem at the moment.When reading over your work for problems, try to come at it from the point of view of a reader. Constantly ask yourself questions readers would ask, like, "Why is this character doing this? What does this have to do with the plot? What does this scene have to do with anything? What is going on here?" and other similar questions.If you keep asking yourself those critical questions (and, more importantly, answering them), then they will become second nature and you will improve as a writer. It can be hard sometimes, which is why it is useful to have other people look over your work occasionally, if you can't tell if there is a problem with your story or not.I apologize if this review was harsh, but I really am trying to help you improve as a writer (and I did try to keep a level tone, just so you know). If I said anything wrong, please feel free to correct me .-TNTOS-

Jutan nodded. “Yeah, but I got better."hydraxon quote“Dah point is, if you choose to fight us, your friends will be sleeping with dah lava eels tonight, if you catch my drift.”i am pretty sure lava eels are native to the mata nui robot not bara magnawell i cant wate to see how this battle ends up

The upcoming battle between Mata Nui and his friends and Dah Element Lords is too epic to show immediately. In order to make the transition as smooth as possible on your fragile human brain, we will show you Tarduk’s documentary on Bara Magna’s ancient civilizations that existed thousands and thousands of years ago:Tarduk (off-screen): The ancient civilizations of Bara Magna were powerful and widespread. The territory of the Ancient Peoples existed from my lawn to the back door -- a very large area. Each day archeologists are constantly finding new things to add depth to our knowledge of the Ancient Peoples’ culture.A picture showed an Agori that looked suspiciously like Tarduk digging a hole in the ground.Tarduk: Yet despite this, our knowledge of the ancients remains astonishingly incomplete. What their favorite cereal was, what kind of movies they watched, whether they liked My Little Pony: Friend is Magic, and what color underwear they wore, among other important questions.The scene changed, showing an Agori standing in the ruins of a temple on top of a mountain.Tarduk: But we will not be discussing any of that today. To be as boring as possible, we will talk about the history of the donut among the Ancient Peoples.The next scene showed a dumb-looking Agori that suspiciously looked like Tarduk taking a bite out of a very moldy-looking donut.Tarduk: The donut was first created by Kristopher Kreme approximately five billion years ago. It was a total accident, for Kreme had been trying unsuccessfully to create the first fried chicken with cake mix in order to disprove the theory of reincarnation by nuclear fusion. Instead, he ended up creating the donut.A new picture appeared which showed a bloody battlefield with a single donut lying on top of a pile of corpses (all of which looked suspiciously looked like Tarduk).Tarduk: The donut was such a tasty food that it led to the Great Donut War of 1563, which resulted in the deaths of countless lives. Everyone wanted it, but they didn’t want to share it with everyone else. Hence the War, which, etymologically-speaking, is where the common war cry “Raw is War!” came from, for raw donuts were fought over in a war.The screen now showed two Agori that looked suspiciously like Tarduk shaking hands, although one of them had his fingers crossed behind his back.Tarduk: But when the War ended, everyone saw how terrible it had been. So all of the peoples of Bara Magna decided never to war over donuts again. In fact, for the first several centuries following the end of the war, donuts were banned in almost all countries except Happy Happy Funtime Land. This was to prevent the Second Great Donut War, or GBWII, for those first few centuries saw the increase of instability and strife over the entire planet.The last scene showed the same Agori that looked suspiciously as before eating that same moldy donut.Tarduk: But eventually, the War was forgotten and donuts became legal in all countries again. It has sense become a symbol of childhood obesity, which is why it is now under attack from concerned parents who want it banned to protect their children from its fat-inducing sugariness.One last scene showed some Agori that looked suspiciously like Tarduk in court, with a donut sitting in the defendant’s chair, as though being accused.Tarduk: That is all for this week’s installment of “Ancient Bara Magna.” Please join us next week when we discuss the religious significance of the Day of the Banana, an important religious holiday among the Sandy Agori, which is the most interesting subject ever.-To say that the Great Volcano Night Club had been totally annihilated was not an exaggeration. It was actually an understatement. The Great Volcano Night Club had been obliterated, smashed, incinerated, destroyed, and last of all annihilated (well, okay, maybe it wasn’t an understatement) beyond all recognition by the fights between Mata Nui and his allies and Dah Element Lords.It would probably destroy your mind if I tried to focus on every fight at once, so instead we’ll just use the usual format and focus on one fight at a time. This is not a particularly economical use of words and scenes, but I think most people care about their sanity, so there.Anyway, Ackar was battling Dah Element Lord of Ice, who for the sake of clarity and conciseness we will refer to as Xocion. Yes, we know Dah Element Lords do not have official names in the story, but it would be tedious and boring to refer them as ‘Dah Element Lord of [insert element here]’ all the time, although this comedy is rather tedious and boring at times, so maybe it wouldn’t be as inappropriate as we thought.But we are not here to discuss semantics and syntax. Instead, we are going to watch Ackar and Xocion fight each other awesomely, which I am sure is the only reason anyone reads this fic. It’s so absurdly written that the awesome fight scenes can be the only reason anyone would read this piece of trash.Ackar ducked to avoid Xocion’s ice spear, which was so cold that it literally froze the air around it. Ackar then leg-swept Xocion, but Dah Element Lord rolled when he hit the ground and was back on his feet immediately, only a few feet away from Ackar.“Nice try, old man, but I am afraid your time is up,” said Xocion. He had a strangely high-pitched voice, although he was clearly trying to deepen it to make himself sound more threatening (and failing miserably). “You cannot defeat an Element Lord, much less an Element Lord of the Ice!”“What’s the Ice?” asked Ackar.“No idea,” said Xocion with a shrug. “I just thought it sounded cooler than just 'Ice.'”“Hiya!” said Ackar suddenly, hurling his sword at Xocion.As Ackar’s blade went spinning through the air, it burst into flames, which got hotter and hotter the faster it flew. The blade struck Xocion in the chest and, without warning, exploded, totally vaporizing Xocion’s very body, which happened to be made of ice.“Ha! Take that!” said Ackar, pumping his fist.But to Ackar’s surprise (although not to mine), a blizzard tornado swirled in the spot where Xocion had once stood. In a few seconds Xocion lived again; in fact, he actually looked stronger. The flames on the ground around him actually froze because he was so cold.“You cannot defeat us Element Lords that easily, old man,” said Xocion. “We are dah elements themselves. To kill us, you would have to destroy dah universe itself!”Ackar picked up his sword, which he had apparently gotten back somehow, and said, “Destroy the universe itself, eh? I doubt I’ll even have to destroy this planet to destroy you, frosty.”“How dare you confuse me with my cousin!” Xocion raged. “He is a fat, morbidly obese snowman, while I am a slender, attractive-“Exactly what he was, he never got to say, for Ackar rushed up and stabbed Xocion in the chest. But again Xocion did not appear hurt. Instead, he actually punched Ackar in the face, sending Ackar stumbling backwards in the earth. Ackar hit the ground so hard that he created a small crater.Xocion pulled Ackar’s sword out of his chest and tossed it aside as he looked down at the fallen warrior. “You can’t beat us, Ackar. Not you or your friends or anyone else.”Ackar got to his knees, not ready to give up.“I am not ready to give up,” Ackar said.I just said that, dim-wit.“Shut up, Mr. Narrator,” said Ackar. “You aren’t part of this.”Okay, then. I will just stand by and make sarcastic commentary, as I usually do.“Darn right you will,” said Ackar. Then he turned back to Xocion and said, “You may be tough – and I respect toughness – but I am tougher. So let’s fight!”A sword made of flames burst into existence in Ackar’s hands and he and Xocion immediately started sword-fighting. As this battle did not seem to be coming to an end anytime soon, let’s go see what the others are doing.-Whoa. Weird scene change.Anyway, Kiina was battling Dah Element Lord of Water, Jutan. I would make a sarcastic comment about how he came back to life, but as that joke had been made last chapter, I will simply content myself with watching the fight.Jutan created a tidal wave, which he sent crashing into Kiina. But Kiina stood her ground and actually literally pushed the wave back into Jutan. No, she seriously held out her hands and somehow held the tons and tons of water from going any further. I am trying to convey the literalness of this scene that I had to use both ‘actually’ and ‘literally’ to describe it.“Fool!” said Jutan as he absorbed the wave back into him. “You could have joined me, but you chose to fight against me and my allies! Why?”“Why?” said Kiina. She stopped and thought about that for a moment. “Hmm. Don’t know. Guess I just don’t like you.”“That’s stupid,” Jutan said.“If you think that’s stupid, then you’re think this is idiotic!” Kiina yell as she slammed her hands together and then punched the earth.At first, nothing happened. Then the earth cracked open and Hades himself emerged from the fissure, wearing a bathrobe and looking very annoyed.“Who dares open a gateway to the Underworld?” Hades demanded, looking from Kiina to Jutan.Kiina immediately pointed at Jutan. “He did.”“Then I shall banish you to the depth of Tartarus for all eternity, and BEYOND!” Hades declared as he bent over to pick up Jutan.But Jutan jumped onto Hade’s arm and ran up to his face (see, Hades is in giant form right now, so he’s bigger than everyone else). Jutan summoned a fist of water and smashed it in Hades’ face, causing the god of the Underworld to scream in pain as water daggers embedded themselves in his skin.Then Jutan created a hammer of water and smashed Hades on the head with it, which sent Hades plummeting back down into the Underworld. Hades smashed into the ground of the Underworld, which created such an epic explosion that the Underworld opened fully, unleashing all of the ghosts that had lived in there upon the world.That, however, was not important, for Jutan was now flying in the air. He cried, “I shall rain on you, Kiina, and you shall get wet!”With that, Jutan exploded into a rain cloud and immediately started raining on Kiina. That was all he appeared to do, until Kiina felt little pricks in her skin wherever the rain hit.“Ouch!” she said as she jumped here and there, trying to avoid the rain but failing because it was everywhere. “Ouch! Rain doesn’t hurt this bad!”The reason the rain hurt her was because she was not being pelted with raindrops. In actuality, the raindrops were merely multiple tiny, almost microscopic Jutans, stabbing Kiina where they could when they landed on her.Indeed, Kiina seemed incapable of stopping the rain until she got an idea.“I’ve got an idea!” she exclaimed.I am not going to say it. I'm just not.Anyway, Kiina began spinning her trident faster and faster, ignoring the stings from the mini-Jutans’ spears. Finally, she managed to create a hurricane and Hurricane Kiina lived once more.Using the power of her hurricane, Kiina sucked in Jutan’s rain cloud and then hurled it far away from where they battled. The rain cloud hit the ground and exploded which unleashing a lightning bolt that would have fried Kiina had she not deflected it with the back of her hand and sent the bolt flying into space. The lightning bolt hit the starship Enterprise as it flew by the planet, which caused the ship’s engines to fail and caused the Enterprise to crash into a nearby planet and exploded, killing everyone on it.“Take that,” said Kiina.But then the earth cracked open yet again, revealing a bubbling spring. From within the spring rose Jutan; except this time, he was huge, bigger than the entire Great Volcano Night Club. His entire body shimmered and moved like water, for that was what it was made out of.“That was fun,” said Jutan. “My turn.”-Oris shot an arrow of blazing energy at Dah Element Lord of Jungle, Resata. The arrow struck Resata in the shoulder, sending energy burning through Resata’s form, but Resata was not weak. He absorbed the energy and turned his pain into his most powerful weapon, which allowed him to create an entire jungle around Oris.But Oris had been expecting this. He gave a loud, ear-piercing bellow, which incinerated the jungle that Resata had created. It also pierced Resata’s ears, which was a big insult to him.“How dare you pierce my ears!” Resata said, feeling the tiny holes in his ears. “I am a manly man! Manly men do not pierce their ears! Ear piercings are for girls!”Disclaimer: Resata’s views do not reflect the views of the author. The author has no problems with men who pierce their ears and doesn’t think ear piercings are only for girls.“If that’s true, then I guess that makes you a wimpy girl,” Oris said.Disclaimer: Oris’s views do not reflect the views of the author. The author does not believe girls are wimpy, nor that being a girl automatically makes you wimpy.“I am no girl!” Resata shouted as he created an axe out of plants. “I will kill you and eat your brains!”Disclaimer: Resata’s threats do not reflect the views of the author. The author does not support murder and has no interest in brain-eating, which he thinks is disgusting and weird.“Not unless I kill you and eat your brains first!” Oris yelled as he fired a hundred billion arrows at Resata.Disclaimer: Oris’s retorts do not reflect the views of the author. The author is not an advocate of murder and does not like to eat brains, which he thinks is weird and disgusting.Anyway, the hundred billion arrows flew at Resata, but Resata twisted his body at just the right angle to dodge all of the arrows. This would have been a clever, albeit impossible, move, had the arrows not been heat-seekers. As soon as Resata dodged them, the arrows turned around in midair and struck him in the back.This would have been enough to kill an ordinary being, but Resata was not an ordinary being (is anyone ordinary in this comedy?). Instead, he absorbed the arrows into his being, for they were made of wood and wood comes from plants. Therefore Resata can control arrows, although why he didn’t do that before is a mystery. Perhaps he’s just stupid.Anyway, Resata had too much built-up energy in his body now. So he unleashed it in one big blast at Oris.But Oris was prepared for that. He actually caught the energy and somehow transformed it into an arrow made of pure energy. He fired it at Resata and, when the arrow connected with his body, Resata exploded in a fiery explosion of death and destruction and happy stuff like that.“I never did like the color green,” said Oris, who brushed dirt off of his green armor.Oris’s hypocritical one liner was too early, however, for a small flower popped out of the ground at his feet. Oris thought about plucking the flower and burning it when it suddenly exploded into tons of vines, which wrapped themselves around Oris’s body. Oris struggled to break free, but it seemed that Resata had him at last.“Now, Oris, I will teach you just what the color green can do!” Resata’s voice said evilly, coming from the vines that held Oris captive.-Bucket-head narrowly avoided the sharp, dagger-like claws of Torxus, Dah Element Lord of Rock. Torxus’s claws dug through the earth, ripping huge chunks into the air that he hit at Bucket-head.Bucket-head jumped from chunk to chunk as they flew at him, until he was within reach of Torxus. Then he slashed at Torxus, his sword tearing huge chunks of rock from Torxus’s face. Torxus screamed in pure agony as Bucket-head landed a few feet away.“How’s that feel?” said Bucket-head, turning around to face Dah Element Lord again. “Maybe you should run back to mommy.”But then Torxus’s face regenerated and he was no longer screaming in pain. Instead, he looked extremely mad.“How dare you insult Mum!” said Torxus, who for some reason had a British accent. “I will crush your stupid Skrall head and then eat it and spit it out because it tastes so horrible!”“For once, I’m glad there’s something stupid about me,” Bucket-head replied. “I’d rather not taste good.”Torxus roared and charged Bucket-head. But Bucket-head jumped into the air to avoid Torxus’s attack; however, Torxus was smarter than his British accent let on, for as he passed underneath Bucket-head he slammed headfirst into the Skrall floating in midair. This sent Bucket-head flying up so fast that he crashed through a cloud, shattering it into a million pieces.But then gravity realized what was going on and Bucket-head started falling right before he left the atmosphere. Bucket-head curled into a ball and started spinning really stupidly fast as he fell. In fact, he was moving so fast that he destroyed another cloud on his way down – which, by the way, had been Zeus’s favorite cloud.“Darn you, Bucket-head!” Zeus yelled, shaking his fist at the falling Skrall. “You destroyed my cloud! For that I shall smite thee!”Zeus hurled a lightning bolt at Bucket-head, but rather than destroy the Skrall, the lightning bolt was absorbed into him. This turned Bucket-head into the Lightning Skrall. Add this to the fact that he was falling at a million miles per hour, spinning like crazy, and it was no surprise that Torxus exploded into trillions of pieces when Bucket-head collided into him.Bucket-head quickly jumped back to his feet and looked around. He had accidentally created a huge hole that led to the center of the earth from smashing into Torxus, but it didn’t matter.Good thing that’s over with, Bucket-head thought as he shook his head. Maybe this comedy will end before someone makes another condescending joke about me.Bucket-head was sorely mistaken because he’s stupid.Okay, so I was wrong, Bucket-head thought, annoyed. The narrator just had to prove me wrong, didn’t he?Yes, I did.Oh, shut up.Only if you will.You’re a- ah, never mind, Bucket-head thought. I don’t need to talk to you. I just killed an Element Lord, so-I wouldn’t be so sure of that.Why do you say that? Bucket-head asked/thought.Because I am pretty sure he’s coming up right behind you.Pff, yeah, right, Bucket-head thought. That’s the oldest trick in the book. I’m not that stupid.It was just then that Torxus – who really had been coming up behind Bucket-head – punched Bucket-head in the back. Bucket-head went flying and crashed into the ground, which caused an earthquake somewhere in Los Angles. Why? Because I don’t like L.A.“Silly, obstinate Skrall!” said Torxus, flexing his claws like he thought it looked cool. “You think you have the brawn necessary to best me? That’s brilliant.”Bucket-head just groaned, for Torxus’s previous blow had been really painful.“But you don’t need to fight me,” said Torxus as he extended a hand to Bucket-head. “Join me, and together we will rule the-““Hey, we already made that reference,” said Bucket-head. “People will think we’re repetitive if we make the same reference twice.”“Oh, I see,” said Torxus. “Well, then I’ll just kill you. Is that repetitive?”“I don’t think so,” said Bucket-head. “At least, no more repetitive than everything else in this comedy.”“Die!” Torxus shouted as he ran at Bucket-head.-As fun as it would have been to watch Torxus beat up Bucket-head (yeah, I get to make fun of him even when he isn’t around), we need to see what the other combatants are doing. Specifically, we’ll see what Tera and Likus are doing, since we haven’t seen their battle yet.Tera and Likus were fighting Etora, Dah Element Lord of Sand. Etora was sort of like Pigpen from Peanuts except more violent and not drawn by Charles Schulz. If his missing hand meant anything, Etora had probably been drawn by Stuart Sayger.That wasn’t important at the moment, however. Etora was sending sand tornadoes at Tera and Likus, who ducked and dodged and did whatever they could to avoid Etora’s attacks. They even tap danced once, which proved rather effective at dodging Etora’s sand tornadoes.“Stay still!” Etora growled, his thick Russian accent obvious. “I want to kill you and rip you apart and eat you and stuff!”“Eat us? That’s cannibalism!” said Likus as he did a triple back flip to avoid a blast of sand from Etora.“No, it’s not,” said Etora. “I am an Element Lord and you two are Glatorian. Different species.”“It’s still gross,” Likus insisted. Then he suddenly tensed and said, “Watch out!”Etora stupidly turned around and found a sawed-off shotgun in his face. Tera pulled the trigger, blasting Etora’s head into sand.Tera and Likus were about to throw a victory party when Etora’s head suddenly reformed. He then punched Tera, sending the Glatorian flying into a convenient Rock Wall ^TM. Tera slumped to the ground, unconscious.“Tera!” Likus said. He drew his baseball bat with the nail driven through it and said to Etora, “I am going to kill you!”Likus ran at Etora and started hitting him repeatedly with his bat, over and over again, so many times that any normal being would have been totally obliterated from existence by the sheer amount of times Likus hit him. But Etora was Dah Element Lord of Sand and as such his body was made out of the substance, so he simply turned his body into sand wherever Likus tried to hit, effectively making it impossible for any of Likus’s blows to connect.“Done yet?” Etora yawned.“No!” said Likus. “Take this!”Likus charged his bat with unlimited energy and then swung it so hard into Etora’s side that the bat caught Etora’s sand. Spinning around, Likus hurled Etora’s sandy form into space so fast that Etora smashed into the moon and exploded. The moon, that is, although Etora probably exploded, too.“Take that!” said Likus. “Oh, I am so awesome, I am so awesome, I am so-“Just then, a dust storm blew through, causing Likus to cover his eyes to avoid getting sand in them. He blinked hard and when he opened his eyes Etora was standing there, except this time he was in the form of a giant dragon.“That’s not cool,” said Likus.“Actually, it is,” said Etora. “Now get ready to die in true Russian spirit!”-Of all of the fights, Mata Nui’s battle with Slacuvun – Dah Element Lord of Fire, in case you’re interested – was probably the most action-packed. In fact, they were both radiating so much energy that it was impossible for any other living thing to exist in their radius. A little fly accidentally flew too close to the scene of their fight and exploded into green flames that transformed into little birds that immediately evolved into dinosaurs which exploded again, this time for good.Slacuvun slashed at Mata Nui, but Mata Nui blocked the sword with his 40k MGA. But Slacuvun’s sword set Mata Nui’s gun on fire, but that didn’t matter because Mata Nui’s gun absorbed the fire and Mata Nui fired it at Slacuvun, who re-absorbed the blast because it was fire and he was made out of fire and . . . ugh, this is getting hard to follow.“You cannot defeat fire itself!” Slacuvun said as he tried to stab Mata Nui.“What a coincidence!” said Mata Nui as he jumped on Slacuvun’s sword. “You cannot defeat awesomeness itself!”Mata Nui reared back and kicked Slacuvun. But the blow never connected, for Slacuvun’s head exploded into flames before Mata Nui’s foot connected, causing Mata Nui to kick a hole in the fabric of the universe instead.Then Slacuvun’s skull-like head exploded into existence and he hurled Mata Nui – who had still been standing on his sword – into the sky. Mata Nui twisted in midair and landed on a cloud. Coincidentally, Zeus happened to be sitting in that cloud, looking upset.“Hey, Zeus, what’s up?” asked Mata Nui.“Oh, it’s just that stupid Skrall,” said Zeus, folding his arms and pouting like a little kid. “He broke my favorite cloud.”“He did? That’s mean,” said Mata Nui sympathetically.“I know,” said Zeus. “And when I tried to smite him, he just absorbed the lightning bolt! I mean, if even a stupid Skrall can absorb my lightning, what good am I? Mata Nui, am I losing my groove?”“No, you’re not,” said Mata Nui. “You smote that town a few weeks ago that didn’t want to sacrifice their children to you, didn’t you? A god who has lost his groove couldn’t do that.”“Gee, thanks, Mata Nui,” said Zeus. “Why, I feel so good, I could smite some mortals! Ho-“Just then, the cloud caught on fire and started falling. Startled, Mata Nui looked down and saw Slacuvun standing on the ground, looking annoyed.“Uh oh, Zeus, gotta go,” said Mata Nui. “I’m the middle of an epic fight, you see, and so I can’t-““May I smite him?” asked Zeus, gesturing at Slacuvun. “He burned my cloud throne!”“No, not yet,” said Mata Nui, shaking his head. “But after this, if Bucket-head is still alive, you can smite him if you want.”“Cool,” said Zeus. “Bye, Mata Nui. Go kick that obstinate mortal’s fiery behind for me!”Mata Nui nodded and then jumped off of the cloud. Slacuvun tried shooting one hundred trillion fire bolts at Mata Nui, but Mata Nui managed to absorbed them all into his 40k MGA. As he landed, Mata Nui aimed his gun at Slacuvun.“See you in the Underworld,” Mata Nui said, pulling the trigger.Mata Nui’s 40k MGA can absorb an enemy’s attacks and hurl them back at the enemy, except at 1,000 times their usual strength. Thus, Mata Nui unleashed the combined force of one hundred trillion fire bolts at 1,000 times their usual strength at Slacuvun, which sounds pretty impressive, doesn’t it?Exactly what happened when the fire hit Slacuvun, I can’t say. All that seemed to happen was the universe shone like a shining white eagle for a moment and when the light cleared, Slacuvun was nowhere to be seen.“Smoke that, Slacky!” said Mata Nui as he spun his gun around and put it on his shoulder. “That is what you get for waking up in Vegas!”Mata Nui was just about to go and find a snack bar when the earth split. Hundreds of thousands of billions of trillions of fiery demons rose from the pit, but they did not attack. Instead, they combined their forms in a blinding flash of light. And when the light faded, Mata Nui was looking at a Balrog with Slacuvun’s face.“What, exactly, do I get for waking up in Vegas?” Slacuvun growled.“Uh,” said Mata Nui, “the end of the chapter?”“Oh,” said Slacuvun. “Well, that’s not too bad. This chapter was getting too long, anyway.”Indeed it was. But I will leave you on this cliffhanger: Will Mata Nui and pals defeat Dah Element Lords? Do they have the strength and power to slay those who appeared to be undefeatable? Am I just building up suspense for the heck of it?Tune in next week, readers, for the exciting answers to all of these questions and more in the next installment of BIONICLE: The Legend Exploded!Commentary:

Tarduk: Yet despite this, our knowledge of the ancients remains astonishingly incomplete. What their favorite cereal was, what kind of movies they watched, whether they liked My Little Pony: Friend is Magic, and what color underwear they wore, among other important questions.

He then punched Tera, sending the Glatorian flying into a convenient Rock Wall ^TM.

@Your points on grammar and style: Thank you for pointing them out. I did not notice them, which is strange because I went over it a lot before I posted it. Maybe I should have let someone else look it over before I posted it.

I’m not sure, but he seems to loose some of his previous childishness here. I don’t know what words you should use exactly, but you might want to look it over.

For the most part, you kept this believable within canon (though I myself have never cared much about canon.) There was one thing, however, that bothered me. How is it possible that Ignika has a stronger will than Mata Nui? Mata Nui was able to control a robot the size of a small moon, and he has ages more experience and probably more finesse. He planted the Toa Metru’s names in Teridax’s head without getting noticed--that takes subtlety and control. Not to say he could not be overwhelmed, but I feel that you could have explained it better.

Overall this a solid story and you are a proficient writer, but I feel it needs a little “spark” to bring it to life.

Member Name: TNTOSTheme: VisionsStory: The Curse of Vagueness (568 words)Kafor blinked and saw herself.No. That wasn’t it. Not exactly. She did see herself, but it was herself from the future. The Skakdi Seer watched as her future self battled a figure dressed in white robes. The being moved with the grace of a serpent; indeed there was something vaguely serpentine in his thin arms and legs that sent shivers up Kafor’s spine.Kafor wasn’t alone in this vision, however. She saw a black-and-green warrior fighting alongside her future self. She did not recognize his species at all. He was hunchbacked and hideous, with a round helmet with a protruding backside. He carried a sword and buzz saw shield, but he used them mostly for channeling shadow elemental energy.Who is that being? Who are we fighting? Kafor thought, but she really didn’t expect an answer. Her visions were always vague and this one was no different.It was then that Kafor sensed someone nearby. Glancing to the left, Kafor saw a Toa of Iron chained up (which she found ironic). She recognized him as Toa Nasis, a customer of hers, but she didn’t feel disturbed to see him in chains. She’d never liked him much anyway. She didn’t even bother theorize why he was here when she knew there wasn’t any point in speculating in these visions.Kafor turned her attention back to the fight. She saw her future self fire eye beams at the white-robed being, who ducked while at the same time with his arm blocking the shadow being’s sword. The white-robed being smirked and his face changed into a Kanohi Pakari. He slammed his fist into the shadow being’s face, sending Kafor’s future ally stumbling to the ground.Future Kafor gasped, but then the shadow being got back up and shook his head, as though he got punched in the face by unnaturally strong beings every day. The shadow being charged at the white-robed enemy again, swinging his sword. This time landing a hit on the enemy, cutting through his robes and revealing black armor underneath.Future Kafor shot more laser blasts at the white-robed enemy, which hit him in the chest. Kafor figured that should‘ve been a fatal blow, but the enemy merely staggered backwards and glanced down at the smoking hole in his chest. It looked as though the enemy’s innards were completely devoid of organs, similar to a robot’s anatomy.Then the enemy scowled and clapped his hands together, creating a sonic boom that Kafor couldn’t hear. She knew it was a sonic boom because her future self and her future ally clasped their hands over their audio receptors and reeled in agony. Kafor was glad she couldn’t hear it.The enemy ran at Future Kafor and her ally. Kafor blinked again and found herself lying rigid on her bed, staring up at the ceiling of her room. She cursed her vision for ending just then, but only halfheartedly. Her visions were always unclear and she hadn’t expected this one to be different.This one seemed more important than past visions, however, perhaps because it directly concerned her. Kafor only wished she knew when it was going to take place, if nothing else. She also wondered what Nasis had to do with it.Not much I can do about it, Kafor thought. Except, of course, wait. And, although I’ve become so good at it over the years, I hate waiting.

I attended my local public school's graduation ceremonies last night, since some of my friends are graduating from school this year. Had a pretty great time, although we clapped so much that my hands were numb by the end .-TNTOS-

this chapter also felt like a filler but it seemed necessarilyi dont have anything else to say

I'm back can't believe the story fell of my radar but enough of that. I half agree with hervanax, I say half because it was not filler (regardless of the Rock sharks seriously how do the agori and glatorians sleep on this world with all those creatures?) and it was important in giving away Bucket-head's evil plan. Also seeing as Ackar would get sued by animal rights groups, does this mean we'll get a comedic where are they now ending?I don't think there were any grammar mistakes aside from maybe when Kiina retorted to Bucket head "collecting rocks". One more thing, I miss Berix and Gresh, hopefully they will be rescued soon.

It did not take long for Mata Nui and friends to reach the entrance to the Great Volcano Night Club. Oddly, there was no bouncer at the entrance. In fact, Mata Nui and friends hadn’t encountered any other living beings on their way there, except for Larry the Cable Guy.This annoyed Ackar, who said, “Aw, come on! I thought we’d be ambushed by ninjas or gangsters or zombies or ninja gangster zombies or something.”“That must mean something plot important is about to happen,” said Mata Nui. “Anyway, that’s not what we were here for. We’re here to kick Dah Element Lords’ collective butts . . . that is, assuming they have butts to kick.”“And rescue Gresh and Berix,” Kiina added. “Right?”“Rescue who now?” said Mata Nui, looking at Kiina in confusion.“Never mind,” Kiina sighed. “We’ll probably end up doing both, so let’s just enter already.”“Okay,” said Mata Nui. He knocked on the door and waited.“Um, Mata Nui?” said Bucket-head after a pause. “What are you waiting for?”“Someone to answer the door, of course,” Mata Nui replied. “It would be rude to just barge in. Of course, politeness isn’t a concept you Skrall can understand, I think.”“Hypocrisy and irony, all in one,” said Bucket-head. “It must be my lucky day.”“You bet it is,” Ackar said.“No, I- ah, never mind,” said Bucket-head, shaking his bucket head, heh, heh, heh.No one answered the door. Mata Nui knocked again, but still no answer. Then he rang the doorbell, which caused the door to explode.“Didn’t intend that,” Mata Nui said. “But hey, at least the door is open now. Come on.”So Mata Nui and his friends entered the Great Volcano Night Club, ready to kick Dah Element Lords’ butts, and, to a lesser extent, rescue Gresh and Berix.-The Great Volcano Night Club was fairly large. Platforms and poles dotted the room, with stools and tables scattered here and there. There were some booths, too, and a bar, which sold non-alcoholic drinks because BZP is a child-friendly website and so cannot feature real alcohol. It would be pretty amusing, though, if Mata Nui- oh, wait, can’t mention that either. Never mind. Let’s just get back to the child-friendly violence.Anyway, Technicolor lights streamed down from the ceiling upon a weird-looking disco floor. Clearly, disco had not yet died here.“I don’t see anyone,” said Mata Nui, who had drawn his trusty rusty 40k MGA. (Author’s note: If it’s rusty, then he should probably get it replaced or cleaned.)“Maybe they’re not home,” said Ackar, looking around. “Hey, is that a brazier?”Ackar was right. Standing in the center of the room – like it wasn’t out of place at all – was a large metal brazier, alight with flames and awesomeness. Exactly what it was doing there, Mata Nui didn’t know. Maybe Dah Element Lords sacrificed goats to the gods or to themselves or something.If that is true, that is a perfectly waste of a good goat, Mata Nui thought.Just then, Bucket-head suddenly ran forward and threw six objects into the braziar; the stone from earlier, a bit of kindling, a bottle of Dasini water, a withered bit of vine, a half-melted ice cube, and a bucket of sand. The objects fell into the brazier, which caused the energies within to start swirling and glowing brightly.“Bucket-head! What did you just do?” Mata Nui demanded.Bucket-head turned to face the others, a triumphant expression on his face. “You are the biggest morons I have ever met, do you know that?”“No, I didn’t know that,” said Mata Nui. “I always thought you must have met people stupider than us.”“That’s not the point,” said Bucket-head. He pointed at the brazier and said, “Don’t you fools get it? All this time, I was not working on my own. The ghost of the Tuma sent me here to make a deal with Dah Element Lords. I only pretended to be your ally so I could get here easier! You fell for my plan.”“You monster!” said Kiina.“I haven’t even done anything and you’re calling me a monster?” said Bucket-head incredulously. Then he shook his head and said, “Never mind. When the two strongest gangs on Bara Magna – the Skrall and Dah Element Lords – combine, not even you fools will be able to stand against our might. Long live Dah Skrallement Lords!”And so Mata Nui and friends watched in horror as the brazier’s energies exploded . . . and nothing happened. No Element Lords. No fighting. Not even a single bullet emerged from the brazier. Bucket-head nervously tapped the brazier, but it didn’t do anything. The brazier just stood there, not doing a thing not doing a thing.“Uh oh,” said Bucket-head, pulling out his copy of the script. “Let’s see . . . Dah Element Lords were supposed to pop out of the brazier and fight you guys. But for some reason they’re . . . they’re not here.”Bucket-head turned around and saw that Mata Nui was cocking his gun, Ackar had drawn his sword, Kiina was spinning her trident around, Oris was nocking an arrow, and Tera and Likus had their air guitars ready. All of them were looking at him and he didn’t like the expressions on their faces.“I knew we couldn’t trust you,” said Ackar as a flame leapt out of his sword and set a nearby sofa on fire.“You were planning to betray us this entire time!” said Likus. “Man, I thought Mata Nui had you trained well!”“You were never a good meat shield,” said Mata Nui, as though that was the worst possible insult he could come up with.Bucket-head was just about ready to cry like a little baby when suddenly a door opened on the other side of the room. Everyone turned to watch as six powerful beings entered the room, chatting among themselves like old friends. They sounded like they had just been having a really awesome party, but their conversation was not important (except apparently for the fact that Chad is cheating on Becky!). What was important was who they were.The six beings looked unlike anything Mata Nui and friends had thus seen. They appeared to be made out of the elements themselves; one fire, one ice, one water, one earth, one sand, and one jungle. They were clearly powerful beings, so Mata Nui had no problem guessing their identities.Pointing dramatically at the six beings, Mata Nui said, “Look! It’s the Beatles!”The six beings immediately stopped and for the first time seemed to notice Mata Nui and friends. For a while, both groups just stared at each other, for neither had been expecting to see the other.Then the lead elemental being, the one of fire, demanded, in a fake Italian mob boss voice, “Who are you people and how’d you get in here?”“Your door exploded, so we thought it was all right for us to come in,” Mata Nui replied.The fire being hit the sand being in the head, saying, “You moron! It was your idea we installed the exploding doorbell in the first place! I knew it was a bad idea.”“You never like any of my ideas,” said the sand being defensively.“Wait!” said the water being, getting in between them before they could fight. “Guys, I recognize those other guys over there. The yellow guy is Mata Nui and those are his friends.”“Wait,” said Mata Nui, peering closely. “Is that . . . Jutan?”“Didn’t we kill you?” Kiina asked.Jutan nodded. “Yeah, but I got better.”“So this is that fool Mata Nui what’s been trying to get his friends,” said Dah Element Lord of Fire. “Interesting. I assume you is here to give us the eighty trillion dollars we agreed upon?”“Actually, we’re here to kick your butts,” Mata Nui replied.“And save Gresh and Berix,” Kiina added.“That too,” said Mata Nui, although he didn’t sound very sincere about it.Bucket-head immediately threw himself to Dah Element Lords’ feet and said, “O great Element Lords! Please, do not kill me! I am not an ally of Mata Nui. I am a emissary sent by the mighty Tuma himself to ask for an alliance between-“Dah Element Lord of Fire smacked Bucket-head in the face, sending Bucket-head flying into a nearby sofa, which exploded. Bucket-head was still alive, though; he just got a really bad booboo.“We, Dah Element Lords, will not ally with Skrall,” said Dah Element Lord of Fire, his body giving off so much heat that it melted Mata Nui’s Popsicle. “We simply want our money, yeah, and if you will give it to us we will give you your friends and send you on your way.”“Never!” said Mata Nui. “Your unreasonable demands shall never be met!”“What, ow, is so unreasonable about that?” asked Bucket-head, still lying in the wreckage of the sofa. “Seriously, they’re just going to, ow, give you your friends back if you give them the money. You’re, ow, just making unnecessary conflict.”“Shut up, Bucket-head,” Ackar snapped. “Or I will come over there and snap your spine in ways you didn’t think it could be snapped.”“Don’t bother,” Bucket-head groaned. “It feels like it’s already broken.”“I can break it some more,” Ackar offered.“So you will not accept our, ah, proposal, I see,” said Dah Element Lord of Fire, folding his arms. “Then maybe we should, ah, discuss other forms of payment.”“Where are our friends?” Mata Nui demanded.“Well, I suppose it won’t hurt if we showed you where they are,” said Dah Element Lord of Fire.With a clap of Dah Element Lord’s hands, the floor in the center of the room collapsed to reveal a boiling pool of lava. At the same time, a tiny cage lowered from an opening in the ceiling until it was only a few feet above the lava pool. In the cage were two familiar beings, one tall and green, the other short and blue.“Gresh! Berix!” said Kiina. “You’re still alive!”The screeching tones of Kiina’s voice-“Hey!” said Kiina. “My voice is not screeching!”Okay, then. The melodious tones of Kiina’s voice awoke Gresh and Berix, who had been sleeping in the cage with chip bags and pizza boxes strewn all over the floor. Better?“Much,” Kiina said.Gresh – who was bound in chains – crawled over to the cage’s bars and said, “Mata Nui? Kiina? Ackar? Isba that really yuba?”“Hey, guys!” said Berix, waving at them like he had just run into them on vacation. “They gave us pizza! And not only that, but cable TV, too!”Berix gestured at a cardboard box in one corner, which had the letters ‘TV’ printed in bold along the top.“Berix, that’s not a television,” said Ackar with a sigh. “It’s a box.”“It is?” said Berix, looking at the box in surprise. “But it looks so real!”“I wonderedba why itba only had one channelba,” said Gresh.Oris looked disgusted. “Those are your friends?”“Yeah,” said Mata Nui, looking at Oris. “Why?”“Never mind,” said Oris, shaking his head. “I just thought . . . whatever.”“It doesn’t matter,” said Dah Element Lord of Fire. “Dah point is, if you choose to fight us, your friends will be sleeping with dah lava eels tonight, if you catch my drift.”“I like sleeping,” said Berix. “In fact, I think that is what I am going to do right now. Good night.”Berix picked up an empty Coke bottle and smashed his head with it. He slumped to the ground, unconscious.“We will save them before you can even lay one dirty finger on them,” said Mata Nui defiantly. “We’re the main characters. We never fail.”“Oh, but I think you are about to fail today,” Dah Element Lord of Fire replied.Dah Element Lord hurled a bolt of fire at the tiny, thin piece of string that had been holding Gresh and Berix’s cage above the lava. The string snapped and the cage fell, just as Mata Nui and the others yelled a collective, “NOOOO!”But then, to their surprise, Bucket-head jumped out of nowhere and caught the cage. He then used the added momentum of the falling cage to carry it over to the other side of the room, where it landed safely.“Bucket-head?” said Mata Nui in surprise. “Why did you save Gresh and Berix? I thought you hated us!”Bucket-head turned to face Mata Nui and the others and said, “You see, Mata Nui, I do not hate you or the others. It was all a trick, you see. I planned to pretend to help Dah Element Lords, but when the time came I would strike them down while they weren’t looking. I never intended to really betray you, despite your own idiocy.”Of course, Bucket-head didn’t actually mean that. He really had been intending on betraying Mata Nui and the others to Dah Element Lords, mostly because he hated them with a burning passion. But when he saw that Dah Element Lords didn’t want to work with the Skrall and that Mata Nui was probably going to personally murder him for his betrayal, Bucket-head decided it made more sense simply to pretend he had always been on Mata Nui’s side and because Mata Nui would probably defeat Dah Element Lords. Exactly where that would lead him, he was unsure, but at least he probably wasn’t going to be killed. Probably.“He’s smarter than I thought,” said Likus. He turned to Mata Nui and said, “You sure trained that Skrall well, Mata Nui.”On second thought, Bucket-head thought. Once we defeat Dah Element Lords, I am going to kill everyone in their sleep in the most gruesome way possible.“So I see your pet Skrall is not as stupid as he appeared,” Dah Element Lord of Fire said. “But that does not mean we will spare your lives. We shall kill all of you – every single one of you – and then take your money from your dead corpses.”“Dead corpses is repetitive,” said Bucket-head.“You’re going to be one if you don’t shut up soon,” Dah Element Lord of Fire snapped. “Although, I suppose, you will be dead soon anyway, whether you shut up or no.”“Fine,” said Mata Nui. “That’s the whole reason I came here anyway. I was looking for some good butts to kick and yours look pretty good.”“That . . . sounds inappropriate,” said Kiina.“Whatever,” said Mata Nui. “Come, my friends! Let us work together to kick these guys’ butts straight to the moon!”Commentary:

“I haven’t even done anything and you’re calling me a monster?” said Bucket-head incredulously. Then he shook his head and said, “Never mind. When the two strongest gangs on Bara Magna – the Skrall and Dah Element Lords – combine, not even you fools will be able to stand against our might. Long live Dah Skrallement Lords!”

Gresh – who was bound in chains – crawled over to the cage’s bars and said, “Mata Nui? Kiina? Ackar? Isba that really yuba?”“Hey, guys!” said Berix, waving at them like he had just run into them on vacation. “They gave us pizza! And not only that, but cable TV, too!”

What do y'all like better, script or prose?Personally, I prefer prose. Script should only be used if you're writing an actual script for, say, a TV show or movie or something, or a play. I used to use script form for my Comedies back in the day, but I scrapped it and haven't used it since. After all, if I'm not writing scripts or plays, there's not much reason for me to use it.That's how I look at it, anyway. Not hating on anyone who does use script. I just find it unnecessary except, again, if you're writing a real script or play. Those are really, IMO, the only places it should be used.-TNTOS-

I reviewed Dynamic Paradigm. It's my first ECC review. Hope I did a good job.-TNTOS-

You did an outstanding job. I'll definitely keep your advice in mind regarding "said" and, to be honest, Veladri was one of my favorite characters to write. Thank you so much, TNTOS! -Ced

I reviewed Dynamic Paradigm. It's my first ECC review. Hope I did a good job.-TNTOS-

Official ECC Review:First off, the title, Dynamic Paradigm, is an interesting title choice. It's an oxymoron because paradigms, by their defintion, aren't supposed to be dynamic. It's definitely eye-catching. I am not exactly sure how it relates to the story, but it's a cool title anyway IMO.The epic's plot was decent. I'd say my favorite chapters were 19 and 20. I just find it fascinating in stories when characters deal with their subconscious in the forms of past friends and enemies. It's a good excuse to bring back dead characters temporarily, too .The plot twist with Amtra really being Ceyvim in disguise was well done. I honestly wasn't expecting it, especially because it was stressed early on that no one knew where Ceyvim was or if he was even still alive. Good job there.I must say, though, that I wasn't a big fan of the protagonists. None of them seem particularly fleshed out or deep, save for Talise, who got the most development out of all of them. I'd say she was the real protagonist of the story, even though Landrak was team leader. Even then, though, I didn't really feel for Talise. Maybe you should have made her more important earlier than you did.My favorite character was probably Veladri. From the time he was introduced to his tragic suicide, he was easily the most interesting and dynamic (pun unintended) character in the story. I actually felt sad when the Vapseron "killed" him the first time and was definitely sad when he killed himself. Again, good job, because you made me, the reader, care about your character, which is what all good writers strive to do.My biggest complaint, though, is your apparent aversion to the dialogue tag "said." Occasionally using other words, such as "asked" for questions, is okay, but you used the word "said" as a dialogue tag maybe four times throughout the entire 40 chapter story, probably less. You replaced it with annoying and illogical dialogue tags like "smiled," "smirked," "grinned," "frowned," and so on.Thing is, dialogue tags need to be invisible. They should not draw attention to themselves. Their sole purpose should be to inform the reader who is speaking. Because "said" has a long and proven history in literature, readers automatically don't notice it when it is used. They do notice when it is replaced by new dialogue tags, though, and it does nothing but remind them that they are reading little ink squiggles on paper or a computer screen, the exact opposite effect the writer is trying to achieve.In other words, "said" is extremely important in keeping the reader interested and immersed in the story. You'd have to have a good reason -- a very good reason -- for not using it, and as far as I can tell, you really didn't have a good reason for this particular story other than you apparently disliked "said."Besides, people do not "smirk" things. They "say" things. They can say things while smirking, but that's completely different from "smirking" something (whatever that means).Not that you should never, never, ever use other dialogue tags. As I said before, I consider "asked" an acceptable substitue for questions, but even then, use it only rarely and sparingly. If possible, use "said" exclusively, but again, other dialogue tags are okay in scarcity.Besides that, though, I enjoyed the story overall, even though it seems more like an original story than a true BIONICLE fanfic. You explored the story and its world deeply enough to satisfy the reader, even going as far as the afterlife. The characters, particularly the protagonists, could have used more work, but all in all a good story .-TNTOS-

This is an interesting short story, though some parts of it conflict with canon (specifically the Makuta part). The personalization you gave to Ignika really brought him to life, made him more than just a short-time hero. Very nice.The only grammatical error I could find was this:

This move seemed to surprise Ignika, for the pressure he was putting on me lifts slightly, but it was just enough to give me an opening.

Lifts should be lifted, in this tense.All in all, well done!

Hello and welcome all to Glatorian Chronicles #12, which is the twelfth and final installment of the Glatorian Chronicles series!But first, let me tell new readers exactly what the GC is:

The Glatorian Chronicles is a series of BIONICLE fanfiction short stories/short epics that star each of the twelve Glatorian characters from BIONICLE. Each story is completely independent of the others and can be read by itself with little to no confusion on the reader’s part. All are written in the first person point of view from the viewpoint of the starring Glatorian.

this chapter seemed to be just an empty space that needed to be filledoh well it was funny“You taught him oratory!”whats oratory? (i feel as stupid as bucket-head)and thats all i have to say

Now Mata Nui and his friends all had at some point done something more awesome than skipping across boulders that were constantly in motion. Thus, it was not very hard for our heroes to skip from rock to rock. And Bucket-head, despite being such a moron, was the most skillful, while Ackar kept melting holes in the rocks he landed on due to his plot-induced inability to control his fire powers completely.“I am NOT a moron!” said Bucket-head as he jumped from rock to rock. “Stop saying that!”Never.Bucket-head would probably have killed me had a giant rock shark not jumped out of the river of rock toward him. Bucket-head immediately shot the rock shark out of the air, causing it to explode into tons of pebbles. The pebbles reformed into two rock sharks, which Bucket-head again destroyed by tossing them into the sun.“Where’d that come from?” Oris asked as he leapt to another rock.“More are coming!” Mata Nui said, pointing at the river.He was right. A billion rock sharks appeared, and in the midst of them was a rock shark that was almost as big as a house (noticed I said ‘almost’). They had razor sharp teeth, rough stone bodies, and could swim through the river of rock as though it was water (which is actually kind of insulting to rock sharks, but never mind).“I am Rocksharkticus!” the biggest shark bellowed, which was so loud that it disintegrated the rock sharks nearest it. “I lead the rock sharks. You shall not pass!”“I knew we’d have to fight another entity,” Mata Nui said. “I just knew it!”“Let me deal with this one,” said Ackar.Ackar then ran across the moving boulders and leapt at Rocksharkticus. Rocksharkticus opened its mouth wide, revealing its severe lack of dental hygiene. Ackar landed in its mouth just as Rocksharkticus closed it mouths with an earthshaking boom, seemingly killing our favorite cranky old guy.“Ackar!” said Mata Nui as he batted a rock shark out of the way. “No!”Rocksharkticus smiled, but then it looked sick (like the readers of this comedy probably do right now). Without warning, the rock shark entity exploded, creating such a massive explosion that it vaporized more than half of the billion rock sharks that had been about to attack Mata Nui and friends. Ackar emerged from the explosion, which clung to him like seaweed.“Raw is War!” Ackar bellowed as he wrapped the explosion around his sword and shot it at the rest of the rock sharks.The rock sharks tried to run away, but the explosion incinerated and vaporized them. There was not even one speck of dust to suggest that an army of rock sharks had been there just a few moments ago. Ackar would later be sued by an animals’ rights group for killing so many rock sharks, although Ackar would then kill them because he doesn’t understand the American legal system (or any legal system, for that matter).But back to the story. Mata Nui and friends met with no further opposition as they went down the river of rock, until they saw what looked like a waterfall ahead. But Mata Nui realized it was no waterfall; it was a rock fall. He also realized that if they went over it, they would all be crushed.This realization came too late, however, for the group went over the edge of the rock falls. They would have fallen to their deaths had Mata Nui not acted just in the nick of time (darn it).Using one of his powers, Mata Nui caused him and his friends to land lightly on the ground. As to where the rocks go when they fall over the rock falls, no idea. The script doesn’t say, so we’ll just say they disappear into the Void. That’s where everything disappears to.“Thanks for the save, Mata Nui,” said Bucket-head. “Your gravity powers sure are useful.”“Gravity powers?” Mata Nui said, blinking. “But I didn’t use gravity to get us all down safely.”“Then what did you use?” asked Bucket-head.“That’s none of your business,” Mata Nui snapped. “Unless you’d like me to kick your butt straight to the moon, that is.”“Never mind, then,” said Bucket-head. “I don’t need to know.”“Where are we now?” asked Ackar as he looked around.They were standing in a hellish landscape. Fire jets shot out of craters in the ground. Lava flowed uncontrollably. Bursts of flame were hot enough to burn even each other. And, in the midst of it all, like it was normal, was the entrance to the Great Volcano Night Club itself.“Ah,” said Mata Nui. “The plot must be nearly over.”“So we’re going to finally fight Dah Element Lords?” said Ackar. “I’ve been waiting to do that for a while.”“But we must stick together,” Mata Nui insisted. “And that includes you, Bucket-head.”Bucket-head – who had been collecting a small stone away from the group – hurriedly rejoined them.“I, um, like to collect rocks,” Bucket-head explained to Kiina, who had been looking at him quizzically.“That’s all Skrall do,” said Kiina with a sneer. “Collect rocks.”This time, Bucket-head restrained himself from killing them all. They were close to their destination now, which meant Bucket-head’s plan was nearly complete. If it worked, then he would never have to deal with the stupidity of Mata Nui and the others ever again. But if it failed . . . he decided not to think about it. It wouldn’t fail. It simply wouldn’t.Sorry, Mata Nui, Bucket-head thought as he and the others started walking toward the Great Volcano Night Club’s entrance. But soon, you will forever regret using a condescending tone on Bucket-head the Skrall! Mwahahahaha!He caught himself. Wait, am I laughing evilly? In my own head? What kind of madness is this?Again, he decided not to dwell on it. As long as no one else heard him, it didn’t matter whether he laughed evilly in his own head or not, did it?But it did matter what Bucket-head thought. An owl sat in a tree not far away, although no one noticed it. It stared at Bucket-head as the group passed its tree. It didn’t blink its eyes; in fact, it wasn’t thinking anything at all. The owl just watched them go. Then it tried to fly away, but when it did, a jet of fire immediately turned it into Kentucky Fried Owl. So yeah.Commentary:

“I am Rocksharkticus!” the biggest shark bellowed, which was so loud that it disintegrated the rock sharks nearest it. “I lead the rock sharks. You shall not pass!”

“That’s all Skrall do,” said Kiina with a sneer. “Collect rocks.”

i would join OBZPPP we should start that group

Well BZP is back and so am I. Been a while since I've read this, but I must point this out at first I hated Mata Nui being completely and unnecessarily mean. However I read the original Bionicle 5 movie treatment and saw the ending, then I realized why everyone was being mean to Bucket head and the reason is brilliant. They've obviously read the script. Which may lead to this:

Mata Nui: Bucket Head, you're too stupid to turn evil. Why did you turn evil?Bucket head: Well let's see, I was almost killed, thrown, and treated like dirt. For no reason!Mata Nui: Perhaps I should've been a little nicerBucket Head: YOU DON'T THINK!!!

Okay maybe not exactly like that but close to that. I'm sure of it.Another thing to note: If the cast of DH is in this (even if it was brief) does that mean the cast of the Shika trilogy will show up?

A burst of flame created a massive hole in the stone barrier, but the stone reformed instantly.“Stupid stone barrier!” said Ackar. “When I make a hole in you, that hole stays there. Got it?”“No,” said the stone barrier stubbornly. “You’re not my boss. You can’t tell me what to do!”Ackar hit the stone barrier with his sword in anger. “Stupid fire powers. I got along without them just fine before.”“But fire is cool, isn’t it?” said Mata Nui. “Just think about it; you never need to buy another oven ever again!”“Yeah, I guess that’s pretty cool,” Ackar admitted as he turned back to Mata Nui. “But do we really need to do this?”Likus – who was playing keep-away with Tera, tossing Bucket-head’s sword between them while the Skrall himself tried to get it – said, “No, but it sure is fun.”“That’s not what I meant,” said Ackar, shaking his head. “What I meant was do we need to save Gresh and Berix?”“That’s what we’re doing?” said Mata Nui. “Er, I mean, of course we should, Ackar. They’re our friends.”“But we’re your friends, too,” said Ackar. “I mean, you keep thinking about your friends that aren’t here when you should be really worrying about the friends you have now.”“I agree with Ackar,” said Oris. “Although I have no idea who Gresh or Berix are, I don’t want to keep wandering around here forever. We should leave or something.”“Yeah,” said Likus as he tossed Bucket-head’s sword to Tera, who missed, which allowed Bucket-head to finally get his sword back. “What’s the plan, Mata Nui? What are we going to do now?”Mata Nui looked at his ragtag band of friends. They were stuck between a frozen river and a stone barrier that they couldn’t cross. They didn’t want to go any further, but he couldn’t send them back. It would be impossible for them to go home, especially since they were main characters, which meant they couldn’t go back even if they wanted to.Which kind of made this inner turmoil unnecessary, but the script said Mata Nui was torn, so he had to act that way. He fell to the ground and buried his face in his hands as the others continually pestered him with questions like “What are we going to do?” “Where are we going?” “Is there a McDonald’s around here or something?” (That last question was from Likus.)Finally, Mata Nui snapped, “I don’t know where we’re going, what we’re going to do, or where the nearest McDonald’s is!”Mata Nui was so angry that the stone barrier – which was now afraid – exploded. The script says Mata Nui’s new gravity powers did it, but I, the narrator, am inclined to believe it was Mata Nui’s angry that made the stone barrier afraid and convinced it to kill itself. And my own canon is always correct because the stuff produced from the guys who make BIONICLE is always wrong. So there.Without waiting for Mata Nui, the others ran through the gap in the barrier. This was not because they were afraid; rather, they ran through it like children leaving school at the end of the day. They were jumping and screaming and yelling and setting off explosions and all of that other jazz. None noticed Mata Nui, who stood back there, looking a bit surprised that everyone had left him behind like that.Maybe they were never really my friends to begin with, Mata Nui thought. You know, I’m going to sit down and write emo poetry to describe my feelings.So Mata Nui sat down on a chair that had appeared out of nowhere, pulled out a rather sticky pad of paper and a half-eaten pencil, and began writing thus:I am sadYou are sadThey are sadWe are sadEveryone is sadSadness is sadThe world is sadAnd happiness . . . is sad.But Mata Nui realized two things when he finished writing this poem:

• [*]This joke had already been done before, by Ackar, in the last comedy; and[*]Mata Nui couldn’t write poetry

So Mata Nui threw the poetry away and ran after the others, feeling unnecessarily emo as he did.-The others had not gone very far in when Mata Nui caught up with them. At first Mata Nui thought they were just being stupid, but then he saw that they had come upon yet another river.Except this river was different. It was not a river of water, but a river of rock; huge, jagged boulders hurling down a steep incline at a million miles per hour. Exactly where the rocks came from – or, for that matter, where the heck they were going – was uncertain, but it looked nigh impossible to navigate for a normal mortal.“We could try swimming,” said Likus.“Don’t be stupid,” said Ackar. “We can’t swim in rocks.”“But Chuck Norris can,” said Likus defensively.“That’s because he’s Chuck Norris,” Ackar replied. “He can do anything.”“Hey, guys, what’s up?” said Mata Nui as he approached them.The others looked at Mata Nui, and then as a group took a few steps away from him. Mata Nui smelled himself briefly; no, he didn’t smell that bad. That meant they were staying away from him for a different reason, but Mata Nui didn’t know why anyone would want to stay away from him. He decided it didn’t matter; he could be awesome on his own.“Say,” said Oris, looking around, “not that I am concerned for him or anything, but does anyone know where Bucket-head went? I don’t see him.”“Uh oh,” said Ackar, looking around. “I knew we couldn’t trust that Skrall. He ran out on us.”“Yeah, he probably did,” said Mata Nui, nodding. “Skrall are stupid and untrustworthy. We don’t need him.”Just then, someone yelled, “Help! Someone help me!” and, looking around, Mata Nui and friends spotted Bucket-head in the middle of the river of rock. He appeared to have stumbled and, if he wasn’t saved soon, he would probably get crushed to death by the oncoming boulders.“Help!” Bucket-head shouted. “Someone help me, before the boulders squish me!”“I don’t know,” said Mata Nui, scratching his chin unconcernedly. “Should we help him, guys?”“No,” said Ackar flatly. “If he gets crushed to death, so what? He’s just a dirty, sneaking Skrall anyway. We don’t need his kind.”“I agree,” said Kiina, nodding. “He’s the stupidest moron I’ve ever known, not to mention he’s a Skrall.”“Meh,” said Oris with a shrug. “We’ll lose a valuable meat shield if we let him die, but on the other hand, we don’t really need meat shields if you think about it.”The only two who weren’t insulting Bucket-head were Likus and Tera.Likus turned to Tera and said, “Tera, do you know what will happen if that Skrall gets killed?”“U-Um, the w-world will be a better p-place?” said Tera, who seemed terrified at the boulders, which for some reason or another hadn’t squashed Bucket-head yet.“Well, that, too,” said Likus. “But we’ll lose our Skrall. Remember? Mata Nui is going to give him to us.”“Boulders scare me,” Tera replied. “B-But you’re r-right. H-He’s our S-Skrall.”“So we need to rescue him,” said Likus. “That way, when we get out of the maze, we will have our own personal slave! Er, I mean, servant.”“S-So what’s the p-plan?” Tera asked.“I think you know,” Likus replied.“N-No, I don’t,” Tera said.“Never mind,” Likus sighed. “Just follow my lead.”So Likus leapt into the river of boulders and started swimming through it. So did Tera, although he was much more reluctant than Likus. During their swim they fought rock snakes, rock piranhas, and rock rocks. Tera also got caught on a rock seaweed, but he managed to free himself using his sawed off shot gun.Soon Likus and Tera reached Bucket-head, who for the sake of the joke was floating in the river of rock (don’t ask me how). They gave him a life preserver and pulled him back to shore, although it was harder to go against the flow of the river than it was to go with it. Tera was nearly swept away at one point, but they finally reached the shore, throwing Bucket-head onto it first as they climbed up.“Wow,” said Bucket-head as Likus and Tera dripped rocks. “You saved me. You-““Is he our Skrall now?” Likus asked Mata Nui eagerly.Mata Nui nodded. “Well, since you saved him, I guess so.”“Wait a minute!” said Bucket-head, jumping to his feet. “I am not a piece of property to be sold-““Ah, but I am not selling you,” Mata Nui pointed out. “I am just giving you over to Likus and Tera to be their slave for life. There’s a difference.”“Whatever!” said Bucket-head, throwing up his hands in anger. “The point is, I am not a piece of property to be sold, given away, or discarded. I am a sapient being with feelings, thoughts, opinions, beliefs, and ideas of my own. You have no right to disregard my inalienable rights as a Skrall. I am not a dumb animal that can be sold or given away or even slaughtered for food. I demand respect and equality, and if you will not give that to me, then give me death.”“Wow, Mata Nui,” said Likus, impressed. “You taught him oratory!”At this, Bucket-head would probably have killed everyone in this comedy had Kiina not caught everyone’s attention by shooting Ackar with a blast of water. Ackar slammed into the side of the mountain as Mata Nui rushed over to help him back up.“What was that for?” asked Ackar, glaring at Kiina.“Yeah, Kiina,” said Mata Nui. “I know you’ve never really approved of my choice of friends and whatnot, but that was harsh.”“Just teaching him a lesson,” Kiina replied, as Oris, Likus, Tera, and Bucket-head kind of melted into the background, unimportant to this scene.Mata Nui was mystified. “Teaching him a lesson? You mean Ackar dropped out of school?”“No!” said Kiina. “What I mean is that Ackar says he’s your best friend, but he obviously doesn’t mean it. What he means is that he’s your best friend when he agrees with your decisions or when you give him good gifts.”“So you attacked me from behind?” said Ackar angrily. “You’re a five letter word I can’t say on BZP, do you know that?”“I was just showing you how it felt,” Kiina replied.Ackar paused. Kiina’s words had struck a chord. He reflected on his attitude toward Mata Nui for most of this journey. He had been a cranky, complaining old man who was never happy with Mata Nui’s decisions. Upon reflection, he realized he hadn’t been very supportive of Mata Nui. He remembered what it had been like to be a leader in the army during the war, which had been stressful for him (well, kind of). He had failed to step into Mata Nui’s shoes and understand what his friend was going through.So he asked, “Mata Nui, may I wear your shoes?”“What?” said Mata Nui, looking at Ackar, confused.“Never mind,” said Ackar. “Point is, I am sorry for being such a four letter word we can’t say on BZP earlier. I forgot that you do everything with your friends in mind, both us and Gresh and Berix. I forgot how hard it is to be a good friend, and that friendship isn’t about being friends through only good times, but bad times, too.”“What?” said Mata Nui, who had been picking his nose and not paying attention to what Ackar was saying.“Never mind,” Ackar said. “Anyway, what was up with destroying that stone barrier earlier? Never saw you do that before.”“I am not sure,” Mata Nui admitted. “Seems the further north we go, the more power I get. Not that I am complaining, of course. But it could make me a threat to everyone else, so maybe you guys should stay away from me.”Then everyone turned to look at Bucket-head, who looked around at the others and said, “What?”“You’re supposed to say something now,” said Oris. “The script says so.”Bucket-head pulled out his copy of the script and read it. His face grew steadily darker the further he read. “No. I am not going to say that about Mata Nui. Never.”“I only said all that stuff about friendship earlier because the script said so,” said Ackar. “So you’ve got to say that, too.”“Fine.” Bucket-head sighed heavily. He turned to Mata Nui and said, in a flat, unenthusiastic voice, “Mata Nui, you are a great leader. No one wants anyone else but you to be leader. I . . .” Bucket-head struggled for a moment, then continued, in the same unenthusiastic voice, “. . . I am sure you will lead us through this strange place victoriously and triumphantly.”“Thanks, guys,” said Mata Nui, his eyes watery as he looked at the group. “You’re my bestest friends in the whole wide world. Except for Bucket-head, who is stupid.”“Not complaining about that,” Bucket-head murmured.“Now that we’ve got that pesky character development out of the way,” said Mata Nui as the group looked back at the river of rock, “how the heck are we supposed to cross this river?”“You must skip across the boulders,” said Bucket-head. “If you miss one, though, you’ll be crushed for sure.”“That can’t be it,” said Mata Nui, stroking his chin. Then he snapped his fingers and said, “I got it! We have to skip from boulder to boulder. We must be careful, however, otherwise we’ll get crushed.”“That’s what I said,” said Bucket-head.“Oh, shut up,” Kiina snapped. “Can’t you let others have the spotlight at least once? You Skrall are so selfish.”Again, Bucket-head would probably have killed everyone there had Mata Nui not said, “All right, gang, let’s do some rock skipping!”Commentary:No commentary for today. Sorry.-TNTOS-

this was such a pointless chapterbut it was awsomeThat reminds me of how much I hate video games, with their Nintendo and Minecraft and Sony and Wii and PSP and Sega Genesisi agree that almost all video games are stupid these days but ackar YOU BASH MINECRAFT ONE MORE TIME AND I WILL GO CREEPER ALL OVER YOUR FACE OLD MAN(that was in no way directed at the author of this comedy)“Aw, but tangents are fun,” Likus complained.amen brotheri predict that the lord of water will be there next victem

The S. S. Not Bucket-head sailed peacefully down the river. In Mata Nui’s opinion, things were a little too peaceful. Yet, even though there did not appear to be anything dangerous, Mata Nui’s awesome senses were tingling, which made him on edge. In fact, he was so tense that when Tera asked him where they would stop, Mata Nui’s answer was so harsh that it made Tera cry so hard that the river actually rose a foot due to the large amount of tears he produced.“I don’t really like Tera, either, but that seemed kind of harsh,” said Ackar, as they watched Likus patting Tera on the back soothingly. “I mean, he just asked a simple question. That’s all.”“Eh, sorry,” said Mata Nui, although his tone indicated that he was clearly not. “It’s just things are going too good. I mean, this is an action comedy. Therefore we must have action. So why isn’t there any action?”Before Ackar could begin reminiscing about the good old days when they didn’t need action to make a funny comedy, the waters suddenly became violent. The waters shook the ship so badly that everyone was thrown off their feet. No, that’s not a mistake. They were lying on the ship’s deck and when it shook, they were thrown to their feet. Shut up.“Uh oh!” said Kiina as the Not Bucket-head shook violently again. “Did we hit an iceberg?”“Everyone except for Bucket-head, to the lifeboats!” said Mata Nui.“’Except for Bucket-head’?” Bucket-head said, staring at Mata Nui in disbelief. “Hey, that’s not-“With another violent shake, the S. S. Not Bucket-head overturned, tossing them all overboard. Not only that, but the ship itself exploded into a fiery ball of redundant fire. Fortunately, Mata Nui and friends could swim. Unfortunately, Bucket-head could swim, too.“Why is that unfortunate?” Bucket-head yelled.Because you’re stupid. Duh.Before Bucket-head could argue with me, a giant hand made out of water emerged from the river and seized Mata Nui and Kiina. It then pulled them under, deep beneath the surface of the water, away from the light and air, which makes it sound a lot more serious than it was. It was actually quite soothing in the water, which just goes to show you that you shouldn’t believe everything you read.Then they stopped, floating underwater for what felt like an eternity, until Kiina said, “Um, Mata Nui?”“Yeah, Kiina?” said Mata Nui, who still had his captain’s hat on.“We’re underwater, right?”“It depends,” Mata Nui replied. “Do you believe any of this really exists? Or is this all in our head? Do even we exist? Or is life our mind’s attempts to organize the chaos that exists in everything?”“What?” said Kiina.“We’re underwater,” said Mata Nui. “So what about it?”“So how are we breathing and talking if we’re underwater?”“Well, we’ve never really respected physics before, so . . .” said Mata Nui, but just then a deep, echoing voice spoke.“You live only because the waters answer to me,” the voice said, which seemed to come from everywhere at once. “The water drowns who I want it to drown when I want them to drown. And I do not want either of you to drown.”“Oh, how sweet,” said Mata Nui. “Who the heck are you?”“I am Dah Element Lord of Water, Jutan,” the voice answered. “But you may call me Jutan for short.”“I am Mata Nui,” Mata Nui said. “And, if I remember correctly, I came here to kick you and your friends’ butts.”“And save Gresh and Berix,” Kiina added.“Yeah, that too,” Mata Nui said offhandedly.“I am sorry, but you will not be allowed to kick the butts of me or my friends,” Jutan said.Mata Nui’s eyes widened. “Wait, you have multiple butts?”“No,” said Jutan, shaking his head. “Considering my true essence, I am not even sure I have a real butt anymore.”“What must that be like?” said Mata Nui in wonder. “To not have a butt, why that could-““Mata Nui,” said Kiina nervously, gesturing with her trident. “Uh, I would stop the butt jokes if I were you.”“Why’s that?” asked Mata Nui.“’Cause I see some BZP staff members standing over there, not looking very approving of our jokes,” said Kiina. “Maybe we should just get back to making fun of Bucket-head.”Mata Nui looked over and saw a handful of BZP staff members standing in the water. He knew they were BZP staff because they wore badges that read ‘Official BZP Party Poopers.’ And, like Kiina said, they didn’t look very happy about Mata Nui’s butt jokes.“Okay, okay,” said Mata Nui. “Bucket-head is stupid. That okay?”The staff members nodded and then walked away. They were then eaten by a giant shark that happened to be idly swimming by, which then exploded for no apparent reason.Before we get back to the epic confrontation between Mata Nui and Kiina and Jutan, here is a disclaimer from the author of the Legend Trilogy, TNTOS:“The depiction of staff members in this comedy is based on an inaccurate stereotype of the average BZP staffer. No individual staff members were on the author’s mind as he wrote this scene and he meant no disrespect toward the BZP staff as a whole. Please don’t ban me.”“That was random,” said Mata Nui.“There are many random things in the Maze,” said Jutan. “That is but the least random of them all.”“Why are you talking like that?” asked Mata Nui.“I speak like this to sound impressive and awesome,” Jutan replied. “Am I successful?”“Uh, no,” said Mata Nui, shaking his head. “You just sound full of yourself.”“Be quiet,” said Jutan. “Or I will drown you.”“You don’t have the guts to drown us,” said Mata Nui.Jutan cursed, because Mata Nui was right, but then he said, “It doesn’t matter. What matters is that I am offering you both a place in our gang. Join me, and together, we will rule the galaxy.”“Never,” said Mata Nui, shaking his head again. “Ackar told me; you killed my father!”“Ackar didn’t tell you the whole truth, did he?” said Jutan. “Mata Nui, I am your-““No!” said Kiina. “We are NOT referencing Star Wars. It’s been done so many times it’s not funny anymore.”“You’re no fun,” said Jutan.“I know,” said Mata Nui. “She’s a big killjoy a lot of the time.”Kiina hit Mata Nui on the head and said, “Whose side are you on?”“Most of the time, my own,” Mata Nui replied, earning another whack from Kiina. “Ow! What the heck was that for?”“For being stupid,” Kiina replied.“You’re stupid,” said Mata Nui, folding his arms and pouting like a little child.“You’re both stupid,” said Jutan before Kiina could reply. “Anyway, like I said before I am offering you a place in our gang. So yes or no?”“Well, I don’t see why not,” said Mata Nui with a shrug.“Never!” said Kiina. “There is nothing you can say that will convince us to work for you.”“What if I gave you a free steak dinner?” said Jutan. “We get those all the time at the Great Volcano Night Club, after all.”“Tempting,” said Kiina, “but I want to know why you’re offering this to me and Mata Nui and not to any of the others.”Jutan shrugged, which because he was the water itself created a tsunami somewhere off the coast of Florida. “You are a being of water, Kiina, just as I am, and your man Mata Nui is a being of great power.”“Duh,” said Mata Nui. “We kind of, like, knew that already. That’s like sooooo last week.”“As for your friends above, they are unnecessary,” Jutan answered. “I would but offer them to join if they were warriors of water, but alas they are not. I would especially never ask that Skrall to join. He is stupid.”“At least that’s one thing we agree on,” said Mata Nui. “Anyway, like I said, I have no problem with joining your gang.”“Good,” said Jutan. “When you do that, you can give us the eighty trillion dollars and you can get your friends back. We all win. See?”“I don’t get it,” said Kiina. “Why didn’t you just force us to give you the money? Why are you offering us a place in your gang?”“Um, shut up,” said Jutan. “I mean, you guys seem pretty cool. In fact, you’re so cool you don’t want to kick our butts, right?”“Now that I think about it, no,” Mata Nui said, shaking his head. “I mean, yes, I want to kick your butts, but no, I don’t want to join your gang. There would be no story if I went and joined you guys! Plus, you disgust me.”“Why?” said Jutan.“You just do,” Mata Nui replied. “I mean, you’re obviously better than Bucket-head in just about every way, but just because you’re better than Bucket-head doesn’t mean you’re good. It just means you’re better than Bucket-head.”Jutan sighed, which unleashed a cloud of bubbles onto the surface that captured an unfortunate Agori and the bubble with the Agori went into space and he was never seen again. “I was hoping you would be more . . . reasonable.”“You should already know by now,” Mata Nui said, “I am the most unreasonable being ever!”“Too true,” Kiina muttered. “Especially in-““Hey!” said Mata Nui, throwing an annoyed look at Kiina. “What were you going to say?”“It does not matter,” said Jutan. “As you have now made your decision, I think you are old enough to live with the consequences, although I don’t think it will be for very long.”Just then, Mata Nui felt water in his mouth. He was about to ask Jutan why that was when he realized the awful truth: Jutan was drowning him.But Mata Nui hadn’t come this far just to drown. Reaching out with his consciousness, Mata Nui made it impossible for the water to drown him. He didn’t grow scales or anything like that. It just was impossible for the water to drown him. That’s all.“What?” said Jutan in shock. “How did you do that?”“The same way I am going to kick your butt!” said Mata Nui. “Hiya!”Mata Nui kicked out with his leg as hard and as fast as he could. You know how objects grow hotter upon impact? Well, Mata Nui was going so fast that it was actually growing colder, to the point where it struck Jutan – despite Jutan not having a defined physical form at the moment – and sent him flying out of the water. Jutan smashed through planet after planet after planet as he went flying space and then he crashed into the center of the Void and exploded, creating a new universe.“Smoke that,” said Mata Nui.Kiina glanced down and gasped. “Mata Nui, we’ve got to start swimming!”“Why?” said Mata Nui. “This is no time for fun!”“That’s not what I mean!” said Kiina, pointing below. “Quick, below us!”Mata Nui looked down and saw what Kiina was pointing at. The river was freezing from the bottom up and it was rapidly approaching them. If they didn’t swim now, it would probably freeze them and spare them from the stupidity of this comedy’s plot.“Quickly!” said Mata Nui. “We must outrace the ice!”Realistically, there was no way Mata Nui and Kiina could swim fast enough to escape the ice. The ice was moving too fast and they were not swimming fast enough. Even Kiina – who had been the Swimming Champion of the Universe before she met Mata Nui – could not swim fast enough to outrace the oncoming ice.So Mata Nui came up with a brilliant idea. He grabbed Kiina’s arm and said, “This is gonna be a doozy!”“What’s going to be a-“ said Kiina, but Mata Nui ignored her (as usual).He aimed his 40k Mighty Grandma Assault rifle below and began sucking in water with its sucking feature. Then – when he was sure he had sucked in one billion gallons of water – he unleashed it all in one huge blast behind them. This acted as a rocket, shooting Mata Nui and Kiina throw the river with ease. In fact, the rocket was so powerful that the water actually turned into fire so it was like they were really flying on a real rocket.They broke the river’s surface, both literally and figuratively, but were going so fast that they breached dimensions – passing a Toa of Psionics and a being with wings, who watched in surprise as they went by – and then breached dimensions again and somehow ended up back here. Don’t ask me how they did all of that; they just did.So anyway, Mata Nui and Kiina were now standing on a small strip of stone against a stone barrier. Coincidentally enough, Ackar, Bucket-head, Oris, Tera, and Likus were there, too, playing Uno Attack. Just as Bucket-head was about to press the button that would inevitably fire cards at him, Mata Nui said, “What are you guys doing?”“Nothing,” said Ackar. “We weren’t very important, so we decided to pass the time until you two got back. Bucket-head’s lost five hundred times already.”“It’s not my fault,” said Bucket-head. “You guys keep cheating.”“Bucket-head’s a sore loser,” said Mata Nui. “Anyway, guys, we’ve got to get going. Dah Element Lords-“Just then, the ice that had formed on the river erupted as a giant dragon made of ice emerged. It was gigantic, easily bigger than all seven of our heroes combined. Even Mata Nui’s ego could not match its massive bulk, although the dragon itself was probably more humble than Mata Nui.The dragon bore down on Mata Nui and Kiina, who had their backs to it, and it looked like it would get them for sure.But Ackar leapt into the air and slashed at it. He landed, while the dragon itself looked puzzled, as though it wondered what had happened. And indeed, for a moment, nothing seemed to happen. It looked like Ackar hadn’t done a thing to it.A split second later, however, the dragon’s head split into two. The two halves of its head fell to the river with a crash and its body collapsed into a mountain of ice. And, for good measure, it exploded, which sent billions of razor sharp ice shards flying towards Mata Nui and friends.But Mata Nui saw this coming. He aimed his gun and absorbed all of the billions of ice shards. Then he fired the ice shards into space, where they immediately solidified into a new planet. Mata Nui decided to name this planet Mata Nui, as he did not have a planet named after himself yet. But planet Mata Nui exploded because there was no logical way it could remain solid, much to the real Mata Nui’s disappointment.“Man, I thought I was going to get a planet named after me,” said Mata Nui. “Like the Roman gods.”“It’s not that cool,” said Jupiter, king of the Roman gods, appearing suddenly.“It isn’t?” said Mata Nui.“Yep,” said Pluto, who had also appeared out of nowhere. “I mean, my planet isn’t even considered a planet anymore it’s that bad. That’s why I prefer people to name landmarks after me, because landmarks don’t have some arbitrary rules on what constitutes the proper size of landmarks and what doesn’t.”“Hmm,” said Mata Nui. “You two make a good point.”“Of course we do!” said Jupiter. “We are gods! We always make good points!”With that, Jupiter and Pluto disappeared in an explosion of energy, leaving Mata Nui and friends alone at the barrier to wonder about the merits of having a planet named after you. Commentary:

"’Cause I see some BZP staff members standing over there, not looking very approving of our jokes,” said Kiina. “Maybe we should just get back to making fun of Bucket-head.”Mata Nui looked over and saw a handful of BZP staff members standing in the water. He knew they were BZP staff because they wore badges that read ‘Official BZP Party Poopers.’ And, like Kiina said, they didn’t look very happy about Mata Nui’s butt jokes.

The staff members nodded and then walked away. They were then eaten by a giant shark that happened to be idly swimming by, which then exploded for no apparent reason.Before we get back to the epic confrontation between Mata Nui and Kiina and Jutan, here is a disclaimer from the author of the Legend Trilogy, TNTOS:“The depiction of staff members in this comedy is based on an inaccurate stereotype of the average BZP staffer. No individual staff members were on the author’s mind as he wrote this scene and he meant no disrespect toward the BZP staff as a whole. Please don’t ban me.”

They broke the river’s surface, both literally and figuratively, but were going so fast that they breached dimensions – passing a Toa of Psionics and a being with wings, who watched in surprise as they went by – and then breached dimensions again and somehow ended up back here. Don’t ask me how they did all of that; they just did.

“I no speak improper grammar. I speak good grammar. I is good English speaker, yes. Now go I kill gangsters to.”him tarzan“And you have freed me from my prison. Therefore I shall reward you by destroying you and your entire world!”i want a ponywhich in turn destroyed the wind gust.no windgivinlifefromkiniaclapingiusonly one stupidly named entity per chapterit seems that your motto for adding words to a chapter is "just add entity"

“Hey,” said Mata Nui, stopping suddenly. “I see a shiny penny!”Everyone else stopped and looked as Mata Nui bent over to pick up the penny.“Wait a minute,” said Mata Nui as he looked at the penny. “This isn’t a shiny new penny. It’s something else.”The ‘penny’ was a coin, but as Mata Nui had already said, definitely not a penny. It had a design on it like a maze and, as they watched, it reconfigured itself for some mysterious reason.“That looks to me like a map,” said Bucket-head. “We could use it to find the Great Volcano Night Club. Clearly, the map reconfigures itself to whatever shape the Maze happens to be in. Therefore, if we regularly consult this coin, we should be able to find the center of the Maze easily, which is where the Great Volcano Night Club is.”“Meh,” said Mata Nui, throwing it aside. “I’m not going to use something a Skrall thinks could help us.”“But it could,” Bucket-head insisted. “We’ll just get lost without it, right, Oris, Likus, Tera?”“I wasn’t lost,” Oris insisted. “Besides, that is definitely not a map of the Maze. It’s just a stupid coin. Doubt you could even spend it.”“We weren’t lost, either!” said Likus. “We know our way around this place like the backs of our hands, right, Tera?”But Tera was looking at the back of his hand with fear and amazement. “W-Whoa. I-I’ve never s-seen this before. It scares me.”“Well, we still don’t need a map,” Likus insisted. “We’re not stupid.”“Perhaps you are right,” said Bucket-head. “I doubt any of you are smart enough to use a map anyway, so it really would have been useless to hold onto.”“Darn right,” said Mata Nui, glaring at Bucket-head. He paused, as if thinking, and then said, “Wait, what did you just say?”“Exactly,” said Bucket-head.“Well, I think we can find our way around here without the help of a coin,” said Mata Nui. “My sense of direction is infallible! Watch and be amazed as I lead us directly to where we need to go!”-They were lost, but Mata Nui didn’t want to admit it.“Obviously, the Great Volcano Night Club is, um, this way,” said Mata Nui, pointing in a random direction.“Why?” asked Bucket-head.“Because if I had a night club, I would put it over there,” Mata Nui replied.“I don’t see a night club, Mata Nui,” said Ackar, peering in the direction Mata Nui was pointing in. “Then again, maybe my eyes just aren’t as good as the used to be. I remember when I was young, how I could see even the tiniest particle of dust three thousand miles away! Of course, if it was three thousand and one miles away, then I couldn’t see it, but point is I had good vision because I didn’t sit in front of the television playing video games all day. That reminds me of how much I hate video games, with their Nintendo and Minecraft and Sony and Wii and PSP and Sega Genesis-““We get it, Ackar,” said Kiina, sounding bored. “You’re old.”“I’m just imparting the wisdom of my accumulated years of wisdom,” Ackar insisted. “You should listen to me more often. I am an elder, therefore I am wise.”“Old people aren’t cool,” Likus said defiantly. “They can’t play air guitar like us.”“Oh, we can’t, can we?” said Ackar, looking at Likus with dislike. “When I was a kid, I was an air guitar champion! No one could beat me in an air guitar competition!”“So you think you still got the moves, then, old man?” said Likus as he pulled out his air guitar. “Or are you just all talk?”“I may be old, but I’m not stupid,” said Ackar as he began strumming his own air guitar. “See this? It’s an Aero 5000, quite an old one, but better than most of the new crud they release nowadays.”“Uh oh!” said Tera, his hands going to his mouth in shock. “D-don’t try it, Likus. A-Aero 5000s are t-the b-b-best air guitars i-in the w-whole world. Y-You’ll die if y-you take him o-on, Likus.”“Wait, there are different air guitar models?” said Bucket-head. “That makes no sense whatsoever.”“Well, I paid good money for mine back in the day,” said Ackar. “I can still play a mean tune. Watch and be amazed!”Ackar began strumming his air guitar, saying, “Duh, duh, dah, dah, duh, duh, duh!”His air guitar moves were so wicked awesome that it summoned an army of the dead that immediately exploded because they couldn’t exist. This in turn caused an armada of vultures to descend on the newly revived corpses, but because the army was made of bones, the vultures choked on the bones and they all died. Thus they were imbued with the dark magic that brought the army of the dead to life in the first place, creating zombie vultures that flew away, never to be seen again.“That’s pretty impressive,” said Likus. “But I have an Aeolus 95F, the newest model. Now you, Ackar, watch and be amazed as I show up that old stick of yours.”And then Likus started to rock out, saying, “Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh!”This summoned a meteorite from the heavens that crashed into the earth. Inside the meteorite was an alien parasite that burst out from its rocky shell and destroyed several cities before dinosaurs from the future came to destroy it. This resulted in an epic battle that decimated half of the planet, although fortunately it was only the half that 4Kid’s headquarters was on.“How did your air guitar moves do all of that?” asked Bucket-head. “And, again, how the heck are there different air guitar models?”“It appears we are evenly matched,” said Ackar to Likus.“Yes, it appears that we are,” said Likus. “Except, you know, I’m better than you.”“Stop your air guitar competitions,” Mata Nui said to Ackar and Likus. “We’ve gone on enough tangents as it is. Do any more and no one will want to read this comedy anymore.”“Aw, but tangents are fun,” Likus complained.“Back in my day, we never went on tangents,” Ackar said. “We always stayed on subject, never deviated from it even once. Yep. That reminds me of the time I dated the Queen of England, boy was that weird . . .”“Hey, everybody, look!” said Kiina, pointing ahead. “I hear something!”“Not more characters to add to the main cast?” said Mata Nui in alarm.“No,” said Kiina, shaking her head. “I hear rushing water. Listen.”Everyone strained their ears and listened. Mata Nui didn’t hear anything at first, but soon the sound of rushing water filled his ears. It annoyed him, so he destroyed it, but then the water itself still existed.“There must be a river nearby,” Mata Nui concluded.“Oh, good,” said Bucket-head. “We can bathe. I haven’t taken a bath in forever.”“What’s a bath?” said Mata Nui curiously.“Never mind,” Bucket-head sighed. “Let’s just go see what it is.”“Shut up,” said Mata Nui. “Anyway, let’s just go see what it is.”“That’s what I just said,” said Bucket-head.“’That’s what I just said,’ said Bucket-head’,” Mata Nui repeated mockingly. “Get a life, Bucket-head. You can’t go around copying other people forever, you know.”“What? I am NOT copying anyone!” said Bucket-head, but no one heard him because they were already walking in the direction of the river. Grumbling, Bucket-head ran to join them because he didn’t want to be left alone in the Maze.Soon our heroes emerged onto a riverbank. A huge river flowed through the canyon, going who-knows-where. It was as deep as the book Winnie the Pooh and as long as The Lord of the Rings. Not only that, but Mata Nui thought he spied some Octoroks hiding just beneath the surface.“How are we supposed to cross this?” asked Bucket-head, nervously peering into the water. “It looks too deep to walk through and we don’t have a bo-“A loud crashing sound caused Bucket-head to nearly jump into the water. Regaining his balance before he could fall in, Bucket-head turned around and saw that Mata Nui and Ackar had cut down one of the huge trees near the river. Not only that, but they had already carved it into the shape of a cruise liner, complete with swimming pool and shopping centers.Mata Nui was wearing a captain’s hat and gestured at the boat, saying, “Welcome aboard the S. S. Not Bucket-head. I will be your captain today, Captain Mata Nui.”“Why did you name it the S. S. Not Bucket-head?” Bucket-head asked.“Because it’s not Bucket-head,” Mata Nui replied. “Duh.”Bucket-head wanted to tell Mata Nui how stupid he was, but then remembered how Mata Nui threatened to ‘remember’ the promise he had made earlier. So instead Bucket-head quietly followed the others up into the Not Bucket-head, although he wondered what would happen if the ship ‘accidentally’ sprung a leak while Mata Nui was in the lower floors.It wouldn’t work, he decided. Mata Nui would just use me as a plug.Once everyone was aboard, Mata Nui kicked the ship out of the sand. The S. S. Not Bucket-head landed in the water with a splash and Mata Nui expertly jumped onto it. Soon the ship went going down the river, peacefully floating without any guidance from Mata Nui or the others. It seemed extremely unlikely anything random could happen that could result in the ship's destruction, but I think we all know better, don't we?Commentary:

Soon our heroes emerged onto a riverbank. A huge river flowed through the canyon, going who-knows-where. It was as deep as Twilight and as long as The Lord of the Rings. Not only that, but Mata Nui thought he spied some Octoroks hiding just beneath the surface.

Hydraxon: Are you ready Pridak?Pridak: I was manufactured ready...

Narra:..where's Vezon?Zaktan: Oh hey Hahli! Yeah, Vezon fled like a baby cowardly back to Earth!

bones makes a good point. Whenever I hit writer's block, it is usually a sign that I need to take a step back and think about that particular scene or character I am writing.After I've given it some thought, then I return to it and it usually goes by much easier than before. It really does help to think through certain scenes before writing them (which isn't the same as outlining, though it is similar I guess).So in a way, at least for me, writer's block isn't so bad after all (unless you absolutely cannot get rid of it, in which case I have nothing to say to that).-TNTOS-

and now we have the last two main charictures“What, do you want me to fry it or something?” said Kiina disgustedlyfryed dirt just like mom used to make(by the way, what’s an earth Glatorian? Is it a Vorox or something? I don’t know).i also wondered that when i read the script“Don’t worry,” said Mata Nui. “He’s tame.”i liked the referring to bucket-head as a dog in this chapter“We can discuss this later,” said Mata Nui. “For now, we have to fight for our lives!”a rare cliff hangeryou dont put these in much of your comidys

As was their usual routine, our heroes separated, each one going after a different group of gangsters. Ordinarily, seven people against an army of gangsters would be unfair. In fact, it was unfair; after all, these gangsters didn’t stand a chance against Mata Nui and his crew of butt-kicking fighters.Because I would lose my sanity trying to describe every fight at once, I’ll focus on each person individually, starting with Tera and Likus, since they’re the newbies and need to prove their worth.Tera and Likus were surrounded by at least a billion gangsters. Likus had a baseball bat with a nail driven through it, while Tera held a sawed off shot gun. Odd weapons, but believe me that there have been stranger weapons than those in this comedy and its predecessor.“Back, back, I say!” said Likus as he bashed a gangster on the head, causing him to explode. “Ooo! They explode when you hit them!”“G-go away!” said Tera, shooting at every gangster that came near him. “I-I don’t want to kill you!” (Author’s note: Actually, Tera does want to kill them all, but this is just to make him sound more heroic.)Tera was too distracted with his gangsters to notice the gangster coming up behind him with a knife. But Likus – who had just used another gangster as a baseball – noticed the knife-wielding gangster coming up behind Tera.“Tera! Watch out!” said Likus.Without hesitation, Likus dropped his baseball bat and started pulling off his mad air guitar skillz. His hands flew through the air as he strung his imaginary guitar strings while saying, “Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh!”Just then, the knife-wielding gangster that had been coming up behind Tera was hit with something. The gangster went flying through the air and exploded into a billion different shades of every color known to man (and to woman, because we’re not sexist).This spectacle was so amazing that the other gangsters stopped and watched, but that was a deadly fatal mistake, for Tera dropped his gun and also started doing air guitar.“Duh, d-duh, d-duh, d-duh!” said Tera as he pretended to play the guitar.A vortex appeared in the center of the gangsters, which sucked them all in. But because the mass was not distributed equally to the size of the vortex, the vortex exploded, creating another vortex that would have absorbed the whole universe had Tera not used his air guitar to cause it to explode.“Good job!” said Likus, high-fiving Tera. “To celebrate, let’s play Metallica on our air guitars!”So the two began strumming their air guitars again, saying collectively, “Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh!”-Oris, unlike Tera and Likus, had a real weapon; a bow and arrow set. With it, he had thus far managed to kill at least a thousand gangsters, but they seemed to instantly spawn over and over again. It was like an annoyingly hard video game, except it was real life and Oris wasn’t an impatient little kid who threw his controller at the TV when he got angry.Ducking beneath a slash from a gangster’s knife, Oris shot the gangster with an arrow. The gangster went flying and slammed into a nearby group of gangsters, which slammed into an even larger group of gangsters, which flew into the main army. This caused a massive explosion that took out a good deal of the gangsters, but there were still several billion left.The nearest gangster tried to punch Oris, but Oris merely flipped onto the gangster’s arm and then kicked the gangster in the face. The gangster’s face exploded from the force of Oris’s kick. In fact, Oris had kicked the gangster so hard that his face actually broke out through the back of his head and slammed into the gangster behind him.Oris then performed a back flip off of the faceless gangster’s arms and landed expertly on the ground. He then shot an arrow and, moving faster than lightning, leapt onto the arrow and rode it. Yes, folks; Oris is riding an arrow. No, that’s not stupid. It’s awesome.As Oris flew on the arrow, he grabbed two gangsters on either side of him. He then slammed them together so hard that they fused together to create the Divine Ultimate Unlimited Sword, which he used to slash at the other gangsters that had not been as fortunate as the two he had used to create the Sword with.Just then, however, the arrow broke, but Oris – who had been given the ability to see into the future for like a second – saw that coming and leapt off of it. He landed on the ground and then threw the Divine Ultimate Unlimited Sword into a tree. The Sword hit the tree, causing the tree to explode.“Who broke my arrow?” Oris demanded, looking around the area.It was just then that he saw a man in an army uniform appear. A large green ‘G’ was attached to his left arm, almost like a patch, and the man himself appeared fearsome and imposing, although something about him seemed comical.“Who the heck are you?” Oris asked as he loaded his bow.“I am the Grammar Nazi!” said the man, standing at attention. “And I am here to kill you for your improper use of grammar!”“What improper use of grammar?” asked Oris.The Grammar Nazi pointed up and said, “Go up about seven paragraphs.”Oris looked up, not sure what the Grammar Nazi was talking about. “Um, what?”“You used improper grammar again!” said the Grammar Nazi. “Anyway, you ended a sentence with a proposition. Therefore I must send you to the grammar class . . . of Death!”The Grammar Nazi pulled out a large dictionary and ran at Oris. Oris, however, just shot an arrow, which pierced the Grammar Nazi’s head, causing it to explode.“Stupid,” said Oris, staring at the Grammar Nazi’s headless body, which had fallen to the ground. “I no speak improper grammar. I speak good grammar. I is good English speaker, yes. Now go I kill gangsters to.”-Bucket-head wasn’t having as much luck as the others.Every time he killed a gangster, the gangster would simply get back up. He surmised that they were zombie gangsters, but unfortunately that did not help him figure out how to defeat them. He had never played any of those zombie first person shooter video games, so he had no idea how to go about killing them.But then, in a convenient flash of awesome, Bucket-head realized what he had to do as the zombie gangsters approached him. It would be risky, but then, so was this entire fight.So Bucket-head leapt into the air, well above the heads of the zombie gangsters, and landed on the top of a tree. He pulled an apple off of the tree’s branches and pulled off the stem like a grenade clip.Just as he did that, the zombie gangsters formed a human (or zombie?) ladder, getting on top of each other to get to the top of the tree. Meanwhile, other zombies were using their bones to try to cut the tree down, but the tree was so huge and awesome that the zombies just ended up getting incinerated. Don’t ask me how; they just did.Now the zombie ladder had finally reached Bucket-head’s spot, but he was ready. He threw the apple into the nearest zombie, which naively believed it was getting a snack. As soon as the zombie closed its mouth, the apple exploded, setting not only the zombie on fire, but the rest of the ladder as well. In fact, the whole tree had caught on fire and, for dramatic purposes, was beginning to fall to the ground.Bucket-head ran through the flames of the tree, trying to reach the bottom before the tree hit the ground. Along the way zombies would burst out of the wood and try to grab him, but with a bullet to the head they usually fell or gave up. One zombie even swore at him, but it was speaking zombie, so he couldn’t understand it. I, the narrator, could, but that zombie had a very foul mouth, both literally and figuratively, so I will not translate.Bucket-head did a running jump off the last few feet of the tree and landed on the ground just as the tree finally fell. The tree – being huge, large, and on fire – broke through the ground and fell into the core of the planet, taking all of the screaming zombies with it.Before Bucket-head could congratulate himself on a job well done, a giant entity emerged from the chaos of the planet’s core. It looked like a giant flaming zombie gangster, easily big enough to crush a whole city beneath its huge fists.“I am Giantflamingzombiegangsterius!” the entity roared. “And you have freed me from my prison. Therefore I shall reward you by destroying you and your entire world!”But Bucket-head didn’t want his world destroy. So he did a wall jump off a tree and flew straight into Giantflamingzombiegangsterius’s mouth. He then began spinning around so fast into the monster’s mouth that he absorbed all of the heat and flame – which was essentially what Giantflamingzombiegangsterius’s body was made of – and shot it back into the core of the planet. As Giantflamingzombiegangsterius fell back into the core, Bucket-head grabbed one part of the ground and the other half and pulled them together. He then duct-taped the two parts together, which would ensure that Giantflamingzombiegangsterius would never rise again.Despite all of this, Bucket-head was still stupid.“Hey!” said Bucket-head. “I just sealed an ancient entity! How does that make me stupid?”It just does.“I hate you.”I hate you, too.-Kiina dodged a punch from a gangster, then grabbed his outstretched arm and threw him at a tree. The gangster slammed into the tree so hard that the tree fell over and crushed several billion gangsters that had been idly standing in its shade. It was a hot day, after all, and the shade was so nice.A hundred gangsters shot their guns at her, but Kiina was ready for that. She spun her trident so fast that she conjured a gust of wind that actually sent the bullets back into their respective guns. This triggered a huge explosion that vaporized half of the forest (though thankfully only the Smurfs lived in that half).Kiina jumped into the air and performed sixty trillion summersaults. This was such a ridiculously huge number that many of the gangsters just died because they tried to count it. Remember, kids; never try to count to sixty trillion. Otherwise you will die.Despite this, there were still many trillions of gangsters trying to kill Kiina. This meant she would need to do something awesome, something unexpected, perhaps something so stupid that it would have to work.So Kiina slammed her hands together so hard, with as much force as she could put into both of her hands, that it created a gust of wind so powerful that it actually gained sapience. The wind gust literally cut through the gangsters, sending them falling to the ground, writhing pain. The wind gust stabbed one gangster in the chest. This created enough air pressure inside the gangster to cause him to explode, which in turned blew up the other gangsters near him.But then the wind gust suddenly and stereotypically desire independence. It turned on Kiina and began, “Kiina, for all of my five minutes of life, you have controlled me, forced me to do you bidding, to kill your enemies. You have kept me from experiencing life’s truest joys, such as love and chasing my dreams, and so therefore I will-“Kiina didn’t really feel like fighting it, so she pulled her hands apart with as much force as she had used when slamming them together. This single action disrupted the flow in the air, which in turn destroyed the wind gust. But Kiina knew it was never truly dead, not so long as the air existed. Someday, it would return, but Kiina doubted it would be in this comedy. Or ever.There were still another billion gangsters to kill, so Kiina ran to meet them, yelling savagely as she cut them down.-Ackar was sword fighting a million gangsters at once. Well, okay, he had a sword and they had knives, but it was something like a sword fight. What should I call it, a sword-on-knife fight? That sounds inappropriate for some reason.I got it. He brought a sword to a knife fight . . . ah, never mind. It’s not that funny.“You’re all lame!” said Ackar as he blocked all of their knives at once (despite the fact that should be impossible). “Back in my days, gangsters used to be serious. You’re like kids playing dress-up, trying to be adults when you’re really not!”There was so much truth to Ackar’s words that all of the gangsters dropped their weapons and began crying their eyes out. Yes, every single one of them was not a true adult. They had been thrust into these positions because their society demands them to take up the mantel of adulthood even when they are not ready. The realization led several to simply die of shock, but the rest lived. Somehow, that seemed worse than dying.But of course, Ackar took advantage of this to go through and kill thousands of them. Every swing of his sword killed a hundred and mortally wounded a thousand. A crazed light in his eyes signaled just how much he enjoyed what he did.“Die! Die! Die!” said Ackar, slashing every gangster within sword reach. “You’re all stupid! Stupid!”Just then, one gangster gathered up the courage to stand up to Ackar. But when he did, Ackar sent the gangster’s head flying and the other gangsters started running away.“Hey!” said Ackar, his voice so loud that the nearest gangsters were disintegrated by the volume of his voice. “Get back here!”Ackar ran after them, yelling and screaming and slashing.-Mata Nui had taken his fight to the trees. The branches were so huge and thick that trillions of gangsters could stand on them without causing the tree branch to crack. Not only that, but they were up the highest tree, which happened to break through the atmosphere into space. Therefore, they were fighting with zero gravity and no air, but Mata Nui was generating so much awesome that he created air (but not gravity for some reason).“Take this!” said Mata Nui, shooting his 40k MGA at the nearest gangster, sending that gangster flying into the depths of space. “How’s that cookie taste?”Mata Nui then did a back flip onto a gangster and, pulling a whip out of nowhere, said, “Hiya! Ride like the wind!”The gangster whinnied like a horse and began running around the place. Atop his new mount, Mata Nui began firing off volleys of bullets at the other gangsters. Every bullet killed a billion while wounding several trillion more.But Mata Nui couldn’t control his mount, who was about to run off the branch. Mata Nui back flipped off the gangster, who ran off the side of the branch and fell to Bara Magna below (although logically he should have floated into space, but who cares about logic?).Then Mata Nui grabbed the nearest gangster and charged so much energy through him that the gangster exploded into an energy bomb. Mata Nui threw the gangster-now-energy-bomb and ducked as it went off.The explosion was huge. In fact, it was so huge that the sound of it going off actually carried into space. The heat and light of it was so powerful that it created a new planet, although this new planet took the place of another, already existing planet, which probably killed several billion people. The explosion was so gigantic that the tree branch actually broke off and fell to earth.But there were still some gangsters left. So – while the branch was still falling – Mata Nui used his gun like a sword, slamming it against any gangsters he could reach. One gangster, scared out of his wits, tried to jump off of the branch, but when he did he fell straight up with a loud scream. Another gangster got down to his knees and started praying to the gangster god, although it was no good, for the gangster god was busy hiding from the police god.“Ahahahaha!” Mata Nui laughed as the branch caught flame as it reentered the atmosphere. “You try and run, but you cannot outrun the Gun! Mwhahahaha!”Mata Nui slammed his hands together, transmuting them into guns. Laughing loudly and dementedly, Mata Nui began shooting all of the nearby gangsters. This was a rather violent scene, so the editor asked me to show something else. I would, but Mata Nui killed the non-violent scene I would show, so we’re going to have to watch this.“Hahaha!” Mata Nui roared as he fired round after round of bullets at the nearby gangsters, while the branch drew closer and closer to the earth below. “Death, kill, blood, murder! It exhilarates me!”Just then, Mata Nui noticed that they were about to hit the ground. He realized that would hurt, so he quickly transmuted his hands back to normal and ran into the nearest fridge. Mata Nui had seen Indiana Jones survive a nuclear explosion by hiding in a fridge, so Mata Nui reasoned that he could, too. Of course, this was not a nuclear explosion, but Mata Nui figured that when the branch collided with the ground it would create an explosion similar to a nuclear one.The branch collided with the ground so hard that it created a huge earthquake all over the planet, which caused whole cities to fall apart. This caused several other disasters besides, but that wasn’t very important. What was important was that Mata Nui’s plan had worked. With some effort he punched the fridge door open and walked out.“And people say movies always make things up,” said Mata Nui, shaking his head as he jumped off of the burnt debris of the branch.Mata Nui looked around and saw Ackar, Kiina, Bucket-head, Oris, Tera, and Likus walking toward him. They did not look beat up or even slightly scratched. Not that Mata Nui expected them to; after all, they couldn’t be his friends if they got hurt in a simple fight like this.“So, what are we going to do next?” said Ackar, like they had just taken an idle stroll through the park.“Hmm,” said Mata Nui. He turned to Tera and Likus and said, “Hey, do you two want to join our group?”“Sure,” said Likus, nodding. “Maybe later we can talk about trading for that Skrall.”“Stop talking about me like I am property,” Bucket-head snapped, but then Tera smacked him in the head.“B-bad Skrall!” said Tera, visibly shaking. “D-Don’t speak back to y-your masters l-like that!”It was at that moment that Bucket-head would have killed them all, but because his plan required them alive he kept quiet.“Okay,” said Mata Nui, folding his arms. “Well, we’ve still got a long way to go, so let’s get going!”So Mata Nui and friends continued on their way to the Great Volcano Night Club, completely ignoring all of the devastation their battle with the gangsters had wrought. Nor did the notice the face of Dah Element Lord of Jungle watching them from a nearby tree, which is pointless foreshadowing that really doesn’t matter. Commentary:

“I am Giantflamingzombiegangsterius!” the entity roared. “And you have freed me from my prison. Therefore I shall reward you by destroying you and your entire world!”

“You used improper grammar again!” said the Grammar Nazi. “Anyway, you ended a sentence with a proposition. Therefore I must send you to the grammar class . . . of Death!”

And I'm sorry about the absence of Comedy acknowledgement, but that's because I honestly haven't gotten into the Comedies area too much. Doesn't mean it can't be discussed though!

Does anyone listen to music while they write their stories, or even take inspiration from that music they heard before? AND can you associate any songs to your own stories?

And I noticed Writer's Block was mentioned. What do you do to get over it?