TNTOS

Say I want to advertise an epic I am going to post soon. Could I put the date I plan to post the epic on in the Calender? Or is that an inappropriate use of it?Whatever the case, this seems like a really cool idea. Will be interesting to see how everyone uses it.-TNTOS-

The expo idea sounds great. I'm in, if that's all right, because I'm currently planning a new comedy, so I'll have at least one thing to show, anyway.-TNTOS-

I write dialogue naturally, based on what the characters would or would not say in that particular moment. I try to make it sound as natural and realistic as possible, which occasionally means violating the rules of grammar, since real people don't speak perfect grammar all the time, you know.Of course, I make sure the dialogue is also relevent to the story and scene, but in general allowing it to flow naturally works so much better, at least for me, than forcing the characters to say certain things to make a certain contrived plot point of mine work.-TNTOS-

Well, this epic is off to an interesting start. I've never read a fanfic written from the point of view of a Krana-controlled victim. Really original concept you've got right there. Good job.There isn't much to the story itself so far. Still, you have a good hook and original concept, both of which are very hard to pull off. I only wish you'd told us the main character's name, but then again, that might actually make sense. After all, as a member of the Swarm, the protagonist probably doesn't need a name anymore.Spelling and grammar seem all right. It reads pretty smoothly, so good job there.I'll definitely be keeping an eye on this epic. I'm very interested in seeing what directions you'll take this story.-TNTOS-

Last summer I actually rewrote my first BIONICLE epic, The Tales of Shika Nui, into an original story. I don't plan on showing it to anyone. I just did it because I'm thinking of rewriting the entire Shika Trilogy in original form, so I did TToSN as an experiment.I think the rewrite turned out fairly well, but it definitely required a lot of changes (like Jedi Knight Krazy was talking about with his story). I just might do Tapestry of Evil, the second story in the Shika Trilogy, next, although I haven't decided if I will or not. Doesn't seem likely now, but I'm leaving that possibility open for the future.-TNTOS-

Four months? Dang that's more than enough time to write and edit an entry. I might just enter this contest, considering how long the entry period is.Now I just need to figure out which character to write about and I'll be set.-TNTOS-

I've been meaning to review this epic for a while now, but for mysterious reasons (read: lack of time and pure laziness ) have not got around to doing that until just now, even though I've been reading every chapter you post.Anyway, I've got to say that I've enjoyed this story quite a bit. The most interesting part, at least to me, is showing Zakaz prior to Spiriah messing with the Skakdi. We don't see much outside of one city, but it's interesting to see the Skakdi portrayed in a peaceful society versus the usual depiction of a war-torn people that want to kill everything.I think Trivolox could have been handled slightly better, though. I know this is his first appearance, but I personally would have preferred if he could have spoken a little bit more to show his character better, rather than having Stalgrax explain him to Adrinor. It's not a big problem, though, as I am guessing we'll see more of him later on.Besides that, I don't have much to say because the other reviewers have already said a lot. I'll definitely keep on reading, though, because the story is interesting enough to follow.-TNTOS-

I think Voltix looks pretty awesome. His color scheme actually doesn't bother me that much. Perhaps I'll pick him up sometime, if I see him on sale later.-TNTOS-

Happy B-Day, Velox! Hope you have a good one today .-TNTOS-

Anyone who has been following BIONICLE since at least 2006 knows what this reference is all abouti dont get this refrence at all so i would like an explination (no joke)i cant wate for the sequals sequal (triquel?-third part?)this comidy is the only reason i am on bzpower any moresince bionicle ended without finnishing its story

The jungles of Bota Magna were quiet, save for a tiny, cute little bird chirping a tune that sounded a bit like Black Sabbath’s “Iron Man” before two giant jaws appeared out of nowhere and clamped down on it*. The jaws belonged to a dinosaur, which munched on the bird’s bones** happily as it stood in the jungle glade, wondering where it would get its next meal.McDonald’s, the dinosaur decided. Because I’m lovin’ it.This dinosaur looked a little different from most dinosaurs, however. It had plated green armor, with a laser targeting system mounted on its head, staying in place thanks to the magic of super glue and duct tape. Its green coloration would have helped it blend into the jungle had it not been wearing a bright red t-shirt that read ‘DINO CON ‘12’ on it.Despite its humorous shirt, the dinosaur was not a monster to mess with. With a single roar it caused several nearby trees to explode and with a swish of its tail it toppled a nearby mountain. A sane person who has much to live for would probably avoid it at all cost.“And we’re supposed to kill that thing?” said Bucket-head, staring at the huge dinosaur.Mata Nui and friends were crouching in the bushes not far from the dinosaur. All of them were equipped with their usual equipment and didn’t look different, although Mata Nui was splattered in green paint in a lame attempt to blend in with the environment. Considering he was bright yellow, the fact that the dinosaur apparently couldn’t see him was amazing (although it was likely that the dinosaur was just stupid, considering how tiny dino brains are).“Of course,” said Mata Nui as he cocked his 40k MGA. “This is called biomechanical dinosaur hunting, after all. What were you expecting, pony riding or something?”“Why are we hunting it in the first place?” asked Bucket-head. “And why am I dressed up as a steak?”Bucket-head was correct. He wore a giant steak suit; it wasn’t made out of actual steak, of course, but its physical appearance mimicked that of a real medium rare steak. Kind of made me hungry. Remind me to go to a steakhouse after this is over.“Because you’re the decoy,” said Ackar as he polished his sword with the blood of his enemies. “The dinosaur will see you, think ‘Yum, steak!’ and eat you.”“You mean try to eat me, right?” said Bucket-head.“You can think that way if you like,” said Mata Nui. “Although I think it’ll eat you anyway.”“So what’s the plan, Mata Nui?” asked Likus, swinging his baseball bat absentmindedly. “I mean, besides letting it eat Bucket-head, of course.”“It’s just going to try to eat me,” Bucket-head insisted. “There’s no guarantee it actually will.”Mata Nui smiled and patted Bucket-head on the shoulder. “You keep telling yourself that.”Bucket-head glared at Mata Nui, but said nothing because he had given up on making Mata Nui listen to reason by now.“Anyway,” said Mata Nui, turning back to Likus. “While the dinosaur eats Bucket-head, all of us are going to attack the dinosaur before it realizes what’s happening. Then tonight we shall feast like royalty!”“It’s cheaper than shopping,” Kiina said with a shrug. “Dinosaur meat prices are just so darn high these days. I mean, I know we have eighty trillion dollars and all, but still.”“You’re just greedy,” said Bucket-head. “Right?”“I’m not that greedy,” said Kiina, folding her arms. “I give Mata Nui an allowance.”“It’s not very much,” Mata Nui grumbled.“What was that?” Kiina said.“Nothing,” said Mata Nui. “Does everyone understand the plan?”Everyone nodded.“No, not Everyone,” Mata Nui said, pointing at himself and the others. “I mean, like, us.”“Oh,” said Everyone. “Sorry. I though you meant me. I’ll be on my way now.”Everyone then exploded into an explosion of fire; which, by the way, opened a dimensional rift in time that destroyed a nearby galaxy, which Mata Nui closed with a piece of duct tape. Just thought you should know.“So,” said Mata Nui, poking Bucket-head. “Get going. I’m tired of waiting and making dumb word usage jokes.”Mata Nui shoved Bucket-head into the clearing. Bucket-head stumbled forward and fell on his hands and knees. He shook his head and looked up and saw the dinosaur staring at him. Its eyes were wide open, but it didn’t look very intelligent. It looked surprised and interested, like, ‘Oh? Where did this delicious possible meal come from?’“Uh, it’s not what it looks like,” said Bucket-head as he stood up. “I’m not really a tasty steak. It’s just a costume to lure you in so my friends can kill you.”As I said before, however, the dinosaur wasn’t very smart. So it licked its lips and put on a bib that read ‘I’m a Big Dino now!’. It also pulled out a fork and a knife, although why a dinosaur . . . oh, you know what? Never mind. I’m not even going to question this comedy anymore. I can’t believe it took me this long to learn that.Bucket-head backed up as the dinosaur approached. Bucket-head would have tried fighting the dinosaur, but Mata Nui had ‘accidentally’ broken Bucket-head’s weapons prior to the hunt, so Bucket-head was basically weaponless. Which meant the dinosaur was probably going to eat him alive.“Okay, guys, the dinosaur’s coming,” said Bucket-head, glancing over his shoulder. “Uh, guys?”Bucket-head saw cardboard cutouts of his ‘friends’ in the bushes, which puzzled him until he realized they must have left him to his gruesome fate.Figures, Bucket-head thought. They weren’t going to hunt dinosaurs at all. They just wanted to get rid of me.Bucket-head looked back to the dinosaur and saw, to his horror, that there were multiple dinosaurs now. There were about 20 dinosaurs of various designs surrounding Bucket-head, although Bucket-head didn’t know where they came from or how he had not heard them arrive in the first place. Ninja biomechanical dinosaurs, perhaps?Whatever the case, they looked fierce. One dinosaur ripped a tree from its roots and used it as a toothpick before swallowing it whole, while another dinosaur – this one a triceratops – charged lasers on its three horns. All of them wore the same ‘I’m a Big Dino Now!’ bibs and the ‘DINO CON ‘12’ t-shirts, which would have made this situation hilarious if they weren’t about to kill Bucket-head.Just as Bucket-head was about to run for his life, Mata Nui fell from the trees and landed on the back of the first dinosaur. The dinosaur roared, but that was the last thing it did, for Mata Nui blew its brains out*** with a single bullet from his 40k MGA rifle.Then, as the dead dinosaur**** fell, Mata Nui jumped off it and landed in front of Bucket-head.“Oh, thank the Great Beings!” said Bucket-head with a sigh. “I almost thought you were-“Mata Nui punched Bucket-head in the face, sending the Skrall flying into the trees. Bucket-head smashed into the trees so hard that he felled a particularly giant tree that crushed a nearby city. Don’t worry, folks; it was a Skrall city, so no one of any particular importance died.“I am going to murder Mata Nui in his sleep,” Bucket-head grumbled, though he was unable to move due to every bone in his body being broken.Ignoring Bucket-head, Mata Nui whirled around and saw that there were now dozens more dinosaurs. Each dinosaur was about the size of a skyscraper, but Mata Nui wasn’t afraid. He grabbed the ground and yelled, “Now, Ackar, now!”The dinosaurs were confuzzled for a moment before Ackar fell from the trees, yelling, “Hiya, hiya BURN!”Ackar transformed into a giant flaming ball of fire and crashed right into the center of the gathered dinosaurs. Because the dinosaurs were too dumb to move out of the way, this created a massive explosion that destroyed Canada. Also it destroyed all of the dinosaurs*****, which I guess is important to the plot (maybe).Oh, wait. There’s one dinosaur left. It looked like all of the other dinosaurs, except that it wore a paper crown on its head like it was royalty or something. Who wants to guess that it’s the king of the dinosaurs?“I am King Dino!” the dinosaur roared, beating its chest like a gorilla. “And you have ruined Dino Con 2012! How dare you!”“Yeah, Ackar,” said Mata Nui, glaring at Ackar. “You were supposed to kill them, not wipe them out of existence again.”Ackar scratched the back of his head. “Sorry. Guess I got a little too excited.”“It doth not matter,” King Dino declared. “For I shall rip your bones from your body and replace them with sticks, which shall break because anatomically-speaking sticks cannot replace bones! And then you shall die!”“Replace this!” said Mata Nui.Our hero jumped into the air and, as he did so, seized a huge tree. He uprooted it and slammed it into King Dino, but to his shock, King Dino actually caught it. King Dino then pushed back, sending Mata Nui and the tree flying through the air, completely out of control.Mata Nui recovered immediately, however, and, with the strength of a thousand suns, destroyed the tree and reformed it as a saw blade. He hurled the blade at King Dino, but the dinosaur king was prepared. He ducked and caught the blade between his hands and then slammed it onto his back, thus somehow fusing the saw blade to him and making him a very sharp dinosaur.Then King Dino breathed fire, but Mata Nui was prepared. Our hero absorbed the flame into his 40k MGA and then shot it back at King Dino. King Dino opened his mouth to eat the flame, but when he swallowed it, he exploded******, raining guts and blood and all of that other nice stuff down on the jungle*******.The explosion caused a nearby tree to fall on Bucket-head, crushing him beneath its weight and breaking his bones (again).“Why me?” Bucket-head whimpered from underneath the tree. “Seriously, WHY ME?”-That night, Kiina went to the store and bought dinosaur meat since Mata Nui and Ackar destroyed all of the dinosaurs. They put it on Bucket-head’s tab, even though Bucket-head didn’t have any money to pay it back. Sucks to be Bucket-head.So the gang feasted on fresh dinosaur meat and threw a massive party, in which they blew up cars, tried to sell illegal substances to the police, and in general had a great time. It culminated with Mata Nui tying Bucket-head from a tree to act as a weird piñata. No one expected to get any candy from the Skrall, but they all had fun beating him with thick logs just the same********.*No animals were harmed in the making of this comedy**No animals were harmed in the making of this comedy***No animals were harmed in the making of this comedy****No animals were harmed in the making of this comedy*****No animals were harmed in the making of this comedy******No animals were harmed in the making of this comedy*******No animals were harmed in the making of this comedy********Bucket-head was harmed in the making of this comedy, howeverCommentary:

Side Story: Biomechanical Dinosaur Hunting

Subtitle: Because you demanded it!

I made up this side story after I wrote the rest of the story because I realized that TLE was incomplete without the famous biomechanical dinosaurs. I'm not sure where you'd fit it into the story's timeline. I'm think it takes place in the time gap between Chapters 18 and 19, which would make sense.And that's all for now. The Legend Imploded is coming out later this year at the earliest, so see you then, my dear readers!-TNTOS-

I remember getting the old B-Wing set years ago when I was younger. I doubt I'll get this one ($200 is too much for me), but it does look pretty cool.-TNTOS-

No one outside of my family knows I like BZPower and BIONICLE. It's just something I never bring up in conversations with people I know.-TNTOS-

well i didnt check bzpower last week so i red both long epic chaptersBefore I could make a sarcastic comment about the repetitiveness of that last line,​funnest line ever“I was hungry,” Berix replied with a huge grin.the only thing that would have made this comidy better is if berix was in it morei dont have anything elce to say (i must be losing my touch )

A few months had passed since Mata Nui and his friends had battled Dah Element Lords. During that time, Mata Nui and his friends had gone their separate ways, although they still kept in contact (sort of). Mata Nui and Kiina went back to live in their house, which apparently they still had while everyone else went to do their own thing.One day, Mata Nui sat on the rocking chair on the porch of his house one day, polishing his 40k Mighty Grandma Assault rifle. He was thinking about going down and hunting Bucket-head – he had, after all, promised to kill him last – when Kiina exited the house with a piece of paper in her hands.“Hey, Mata Nui,” said Kiina, showing him the paper. “Look at this.”“What is it?” Mata Nui asked as he took the paper.“It’s the obligatory ‘where are they now’ letter, from Ackar,” said Kiina as Mata Nui began reading it. “You know, the letter that is more for the readers’ benefit than ours?”“Of course,” said Mata Nui. “Such letters are important for properly understanding the story. Also, the readers would get really angry if they didn’t know what happened to all of their favorite characters. Then they’d call the author the worst author ever and hate him forever and ever because he deserves it.”And as this is for the readers’ benefit, here is what the letter said:Dear Mata Nui and Kiina,What’s up, dogs? Dig my young person’s lingo? It’s hip with the cats, yo?Ah, never mind. I hate all of this new slang. Back in my day, slang didn’t sound so ridiculous. In fact, I don’t think we even had slang in my day. Stupid slang.Anyway, I just thought you’d like to know what all of us have been up to lately. Yes, I know you already know, but this is for the readers’ benefit and not necessarily yours. And I know you have already made this joke, but I’m an old timer and like to repeat old jokes to death.Berix has recently moved to Aqua Magna. I have no idea what he is planning to do there, but he told me his greatest dream was to swim on a planet of water, so there you go. Not even sure how he got there. Probably stole a ship from NASA or something. Do we even have NASA? If you know, send a reply.Gresh is taking speech therapy lessons in order to get over that weird accent of his. From what I’ve heard, it isn’t going very well. No one seems to know how he acquired the accent, for it appears to be nothing more than a stupid joke the author threw in just to make Gresh funnier.Bucket-head . . . hmm, not sure what he’s up to, really. Last I heard he was travelling with Likus and Tera; serves him right, stupid little Skrall. Knowing how dirty and sneaky he is, however, I wouldn’t be surprised if he somehow got away from them. Want to go hunt him down sometime? I’d totally be up for it.Oris is playing the role of Megabloksolas the Obese Elf in a new movie series coming out, the Lady of the Dings. I am not going to see the movie when it comes out, but if Oris asks tell him I did and that I hated it.Tera and Likus are currently going on tour throughout Bara Magna with their air guitars. They’re calling themselves the ‘All-Bara Magnan Accepts,’ or the ABMA, which is a weird band name, but I digress. They’ve already sold several billion copies of their hit album, ‘Mow the Lawn,’ and they’ve told me that they even have a contract with a toy company called LEGO to do a promotional campaign for one of their toylines called Hero Factory . Sounds fishy to me, but they're making money so I guess I can't criticize them.As for me, I’ve been keeping busy. You know, eating prunes, playing word games, avoiding anyone in a doctor’s coat, watching Matlock ; you know, the usual. Not complaining, though, because it’s better than wasting one’s brains playing video games or reading bad fanfics like this.So how have you been? You haven’t been keeping in touch like you promised you would. Did you get involved in another bad plot? I’ve told you to avoid those. They’re no good and can get you into trouble. Stay away from them.Sincerely,Ackar.P.S. I want my prunes!“Well, Ackar is wrong about one thing,” said Mata Nui as he handed the letter back to Kiina. “I haven’t been caught up in any bad plots, not since the last one. In fact, it has been so long since the last one that I am sure that we won’t have to deal with anymore bad plots ever again.”It was at that moment that a paper airplane flew out of nowhere and struck Mata Nui in the eye.“Ouch!” said Mata Nui, clutching his eye as he looked down at the paper airplane in his lap. “Who threw this?”“Hey, Mata Nui, look,” said Kiina, pointing at the paper airplane. “It has your name on it!”“Hmm?” said Mata Nui, looking more closely at it. “Hey, you’re right. Who could this be from, I wonder?”Mata Nui unfolded the paper airplane and started reading the letter. His eyes grew progressively wider and larger the further he read, until his eyes were so huge that he looked like an exaggerated stereotype of an anime character.For dramatic emphasis, Mata Nui dropped the letter and said, in a melodramatic whisper, “No . . . it can’t be . . .”“What’s the problem?” asked Kiina, sounding worried. “You never use your melodramatic whisper unless it’s something important!”Mata Nui looked dramatically at Kiina and said, “It’s from him, Kiina. My worst enemy. I thought I’d killed him, but he’s still alive.”“Who?” said Kiina. “Who is still alive? Not . . . not Billy Mayes?”“Worse than him,” said Mata Nui. “My old enemy, Teridax. Or, as he was known in the old days, ‘the Makuta.’ He sent this paper airplane, which is a letter, and it says he’s still alive. I thought I killed him during the war, but I guess I was wrong.”“Oh, no!” said Kiina with a gasp. “What did he want?”“He wants to kill me,” said Mata Nui. “His letter told me to come to his lair and fight him or else he’ll come and kill me himself.”“Uh oh,” said Kiina. “Sounds like another bad plot.”“Yes, it does,” Mata Nui agreed. “But this is not something I can just ignore. I must defeat Teridax, but he is the strongest enemy I have ever fought. In order to defeat him, I will need the help of my old friends, as well as a few new ones.”“I’ll come with you,” Kiina said. “If that [censored word] wants to kill you, he has to go through me first.”“I am glad to see you’re willing to come with me, Kiina, but it may all be for naught,” said Mata Nui. “Teridax is ruthless, which means his name is not Ruth. We will have to be extremely careful.”“When have we ever been careful?” Kiina asked.“Good point,” said Mata Nui. “Let’s throw caution to the winds and go kick his [censored word]!”But then, the [censored] word turned out to be a baterra, which Mata Nui blew up just by thinking about it.With that out of the way, Mata Nui and Kiina bounded down the steps of the porch, running off into the distance to gather their friends and prepare for the inevitably epic battle that was to come.TO BE CONTINUED IN “BIONICLE: The Legend Imploded,” COMING LATE 2012/EARLY 2013 (maybe).Commentary:

Chapter XIX: The EndSubtitle: As if

“Of course,” said Mata Nui. “Such letters are important for properly understanding the story. Also, the readers would get really angry if they didn’t know what happened to all of their favorite characters. Then they’d call the author the worst author ever and hate him forever and ever because he deserves it.”

Oris is playing the role of Megabloksolas the Obese Elf in a new movie series coming out, the Lady of the Dings. I am not going to see the movie when it comes out, but if Oris asks tell him I did and that I hated it.

Tera and Likus are currently going on tour throughout Bara Magna with their air guitars. They’re calling themselves the ‘All-Bara Magnan Accepts,’ or the ABMA, which is a weird band name, but I digress. They’ve already sold several billion copies of their hit album, ‘Mow the Lawn,’ and they’ve told me that they even have a contract with a toy company called LEGO to do a promotional campaign for one of their toylines called Hero Factory . Sounds fishy to me, but they're making money so I guess I can't criticize them.

TO BE CONTINUED IN “BIONICLE: The Legend Imploded,” COMING LATE 2012/EARLY 2013 (maybe).

Thank you for the reply, iBrow .To answer your question, it's based primarily on the prologue to Dimension Hoppers, which you can read here. I should probably have explained that in the first post.-TNTOS-

Story Title and URL: Dimension CookiesScreen name: TNTOSEpic It Was Based On: Dimension Hoppers-TNTOS-

Hello, Comedies readers! What you are about to read is my entry for the Library Summer Olympics 2012, which is based on one of my more recent epics, Dimension Hoppers. It is essentially a parody of the story, written from the point of view of Isarot, one of the main characters from DiH. Some things are changed, but that's to be expected for a parody.Anyway, without further ado, here is the story itself:Dimension Cookies“Isarot . . . Isarot, wake up . . . Come on, Isarot . . .”I awoke, even though I didn’t really want to. Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I looked to my left and saw my annoying friend, Toa Kiriah, Toa of Psionics, standing there. It looked like she’d been shaking me, which perhaps explained why I had been dreaming about sleeping on a rocking boat before she woke me up.“What is it now, Kiriah?” I asked, pulling my soft, linen blanky up to my chin. “Did your shadow scare you again?”Kiriah scowled at me. “Of course not. And that wasn’t my shadow last time, either. It was a Makuta that shapeshifted to look like my shadow.”Of course it was, I thought, but I was polite enough not to say anything.Instead, I pulled my blanky over my head and was about to go back to sleep when Kiriah shook me again, except harder this time.“Kiriah,” I said, without taking my head out from under my blanky, “if it’s not your shadow, there’s really no reason to bother me.”“But this is important,” Kiriah insisted. “Someone is raiding the cookie jar. We need to stop him.”I sat up immediately, my blanky falling off me as I looked into Kiriah’s eyes with such intensity that she had to look away.“The cookie jar?” I repeated incredulously. “Why didn’t you say so earlier?”Kiriah folded her hands behind her back and didn’t look up at me. “Well, I, er, didn’t really want you to overreact-““Kiri,” I said, leaning in and invading her personal space, “don’t ever accuse me of overreacting at the suggestion that someone is raiding the cookie jar. This is serious business.”Kiriah leaned back, while I ignored her as I jumped out of bed and tore off my Pikachu pajamas. I grabbed my tomahawk off the wall, but when I thought about it, I realized that a tomahawk wasn’t good enough for a cookie thief.So I tossed it out the window and grabbed the gigantic axe hanging on the wall next to it. The blade was stained with a red liquid, which I forget if it was the blood of my enemies or just ketchup. Either way, it would inspire terror in the heart of the cookie thief. If it didn’t, then I could just behead him.I turned to Kiriah, who was staring at my axe. “What?”“Oh, nothing,” said Kiriah, shaking her head. “I just wonder if, well, that’s necessary.”“It’s completely necessary,” I insisted. “You can never go wrong with weapons bigger than your whole body.”“Whatever,” said Kiriah, shrugging. “It’s just . . . oh, never mind. I’ll just shut up now.”“Good,” I said, lifting my axe into the air. “Talk is cheap. Now let’s go stop that cookie thief.”-The trip to the kitchen seemed to take forever, even though it was just down the hall. Kiriah was constantly hurrying me, but I ignored her. Walking slowly would make me look that much more epic when I entered the kitchen. Still, I will admit that I did walk a little faster because I cared more about the cookie jar than looking epic.When we entered the kitchen about ten minutes later, I spotted a Toa in black robes standing next to the kitchen counter, cookie jar in hand. I figured that cloak must have been hot and impractical to move in, but I also knew that the Toa knew that and was wearing it to distract us from his eating our cookies. It didn’t work.“Isarot, Kiriah,” said the Toa as he picked up another delicious cookie and stuffed it into his evil mouth. “Mfff mfff mfff?”Kiriah blinked. “Say what?”The Toa swallowed his cookie and said, “I said, have you come to stop me?”“Yes!” I said, pointing my axe at the cookie thief. “Tell me, cookie thief, what is your name?”The Toa pulled down his hood, revealing a Mask of Charisma and a mouth stained with chocolate chips and cookie crumbs.“I am Toa Darranas,” said the cookie thief, licking his lips in an annoyingly evil way. “And there is nothing you can do to stop my ultimate plan.”“Oh, yeah?” I said. “What is your ultimate plan?”“It’s very simple,” said Darranas, holding the cookie jar up. “You see, I will eat all of your cookies and . . . and then . . .”Darranas trailed off, as though he wasn’t sure what to say next.“And then laugh at us?” I finished for him.“Uh, yeah,” said Darranas quickly, nodding. “And laugh at you, which I will proceed to-”I cut the kitchen table in half with my axe and said to Darranas, “Eat one more cookie and I will eat your face.”Darranas put the cookie jar down and held up his hands. “Hey, Isarot, no need to be so cranky. We can be friends, can’t we?”His words sounded reasonable, but I was able to easily see right through his smooth talking. Darranas may have had a Mask of Charisma, but fortunately I was able to disregard his friendly words and got right to the point. No one could fool me.“Yeah, I guess you’ve got a point,” I said, lowering my axe. “I mean, they are just cookies. Eating your face as punishment does seem rather harsh.”“Um, Isarot?” said Kiriah. “Why are you acting so friendly to Darranas all of a sudden?”Before I could answer, Darranas reached for the cookie jar and said, “Now that we’re all best friends, I suppose you won’t mind if I help myself to a few cookies.”I watched as Darranas picked up not one, but two cookies out of the jar. He then raised the cookies up to his mouth and started chomping on them. Crumbs and chocolate chips fell to the floor as he ate more and more cookies with as much greed as a Nui Rama in a bula berry patch.My mind told me something wasn’t right here, but I didn’t know what it was until Kiriah shouted, “Isarot, Darranas is eating the cookies! Snap out of it!”Everything became clearer all of a sudden. I shook my head and looked at my axe, which I’d nearly dropped. Then I looked back up at Darranas, who was still eating the cookies like he owned them, the fiend. He was smiling like a child who thinks he’s gotten away with mischief, but I, the parent, was about to teach him a lesson he’d never forget.With the roar of a rock lion, I dashed at Darranas and swung my axe at him. I was too quick for him, smashing the flat of my blade directly into the side of his face. The cookie thief hit the counter as he fell to the floor . . . and, to my horror, dropping the cookie jar as he did so.Even I couldn’t get the cookie jar, which fell to the ground in slow motion. I reached for it, but it was all in vain. I could only watch as it fell closer and closer to the ground, anticipating the inevitable terrible crash. In my mind’s eye, I saw the shattered jar scattered all over the floor and the cookies nothing but crumbs that we’d have to sweep up and toss away.Abruptly and miraculously, however, the cookie jar stopped an inch above the ground. Then the cookie jar floated back up and sat itself back on the counter, well away from the edge.At that moment, I was convinced that Mata Nui himself must have intervened. How else could this miraculous event be explained? Mata Nui loves cookies, after all, so it only made sense that he would have saved the jar like that.Kiriah walked over to me and said, “That was a close one, wasn’t it?”“Yes,” I said, nodding. “Good thing Mata Nui intervened at the last minute, right?““Actually, it was me,” said Kiriah, pointing at herself. “Remember? Toa of Psionics? I used my telekinesis to catch it just in the nick of time.”“Oh,” I said. “Well, I knew that. I was just testing you, as I always do, you know.”Kiriah nodded, obviously fooled by my clever lie. “Right. I’m sure you were. So what do we do about Darranas?”I looked at the cookie thief, who was still lying on the ground with a big bump on his head. I kicked him in the side, eliciting a satisfying groan from him. I then kicked him again for good measure.“He’s going to cookie thief prison,” I said, looking back up at Kiriah. “It’s only justice.”“Right,” said Kiriah, scratching her head. “Does cookie thief prison even exist?”“If there’s a Great Spirit in this world, yes,” I said. “Now, why don’t we celebrate by eating cookies?”So Kiriah and I each took cookie from the cookie jar and ate and laughed at Darranas, who was now curled up in the fetal position like the ugly worm he was. I also kicked him a few more times and then, after we finished our short party, we shipped him off to cookie thief prison (which does in fact exist, by the way).That night, as I lay in my bed, I thought about how tasty those cookies were. I’d locked them in the cupboard to prevent future cookie thieves from getting to them, but who knows when the next cookie thief will strike?I resolved in the morning to get a guard energy hound to protect the cookies for extra security. I also resolved to get more homemade cookies from Granny Kolora tomorrow because Darranas ate way too many and the jar was now nearly empty.So I closed my eyes and dozed off immediately, secure in the knowledge that I had managed to avert a major crisis tonight. Had I not acted . . . I didn’t even want to think about it.Comments, criticisms, cookies ( ), etc. are all welcome .-TNTOS-

The Library, plus S&T, COT, and GD.-TNTOS-

Nothing to say, except this chapter is probably the most epic chapter is the entire trilogy (so far, at least):

The dimension into which Animus and Utopia Perfectia had taken their battle was an empty plain of vastness. Thus, there was no one to watch the two titans duke it out. No one, that is, except for me and I was recording this on my smart phone to post online. It was definitely an Internet-worthy video for sure.Animus performed a flying kick, hitting Utopia Perfectia in the chest. But Utopia Perfectia grabbed Animus’s foot – which was still touching his chest – and hurled Animus into the sky. Then Utopia Perfectia leapt into the air and declared, “One Thousand Million Billion Trillion Punches of Pain!”A hurricane of punches hit every part of Animus’s body. In fact, ‘hurricane’ is too tame a word. It was more like a galaxy of fists had appeared and were beating on every part of Animus’s body that they could reach.Then Utopia Perfectia slammed Animus into the ground. Animus broke through the earth, but there was nothing underneath save for empty endlessness. Utopia Perfectia followed and slammed his feet into Animus’s chest, sending him falling even further.But Animus was prepared. He breathed all of the elements again, which struck Utopia Perfectia and sent him flying. Then Animus flew up and body slammed Utopia Perfectia as hard as he could. Utopia Perfectia managed to twist his body in midair and land on the ground. He landed so hard that the entire dimension shook.Animus landed on the ground, too, and the two entities charged at each other. When their fists collided, they shattered reality in the spot where they had hit and their combined strength sent them both skittering backwards. This tore up the earth beneath their feet, sending so much dirt flying up that Utopia Perfectia grabbed some and started hurling it at Animus.But Animus kept freezing all of the dirt clods Utopia Perfectia threw at him, breaking them into pieces. So Utopia Perfectia got a better idea; he grabbed the earth and spun it around beneath their feet.This made Animus dizzy and he fell to the ground, again with earth-shattering force. Taking advantage of his fallen foe, Utopia Perfectia raised his hands and unleashed bolts of every element; fire, water, ice, rock, sand, and jungle. All of this struck Animus, but it did nothing save make him even more enraged and maybe a little cranky, too.Animus staggered to his feet and declared, “One Billion Trillion Thoughts of Agony and Torture!”Animus stuck his hands in his head and pulled out several knives. But they weren’t just any old knives; they were ghostly pale. In fact, they were actually his thoughts, the ‘One Billion Trillion Thoughts of Agony and Torture’ he had mentioned earlier, taken physical form.Animus hurled the thoughts at Utopia Perfectia, but our heroic entity slammed his hands together so hard that it reversed time around the thoughts, transferring them back to Animus’s mind. Then Utopia Perfectia ran at Animus just as Animus ran at him.They slammed their fists together, which disrupted reality so much that I am pretty sure a nearby universe exploded. It was probably uninhabited . . . probably.Now the two epic entities pushed against each other, but neither was strong enough to overpower the other.“You are stronger than I originally believed, Utopia Perfectia,” Animus declared as they pushed. “But let it be known this day that Animus, Dah Element Lord of Everything, is the Greatest and the Bestest of Eternity!”“We do not think so, Animus,” Utopia Perfectia declared. “For behold, we have the power of unity coursing within our collective veins! Nothing you do can stop unity! Huzzah!”Then Utopia Perfectia – using all of his strength – kneed Animus in the stomach. This caught Animus off-guard and his resistance fell ever so slightly, giving Utopia Perfectia the opportunity he needed to lift Animus off his feet.“Wait!” Animus declared, his limbs flailing uselessly in the air. “What are you doing? Animus demands to know!”“Finishing it!” Utopia Perfectia declared.Utopia Perfectia then started spinning around so fast that he created a hurricane of energy around them. As he did so, Utopia Perfectia threw Animus as high into the sky as he could with as much strength as he could muster. And then Utopia Perfectia himself jumped into the sky and started punching Animus again, but this time, with each punch, he punched Animus into another dimension. Each one of Utopia Perfectia’s punches was filled with the righteous anger and unity of all the beings that made up his form, which gave him strength even beyond that of the gods.With a final punch Utopia Perfectia punched Animus so hard that Animus’s body exploded, although his head, arms, and legs survived.Utopia Perfectia and Animus were no longer in any dimension. In fact, they were in the Void, a place of lightlessness and sadness. But Utopia Perfectia’s form brought light to this place, so much light that it actually incinerated the darkness. Demons tried to attach themselves to Utopia Perfectia’s body, but they were incapable of draining the happiness from the entity because Utopia Perfectia was incapable of sadness, so the demons exploded, which was the only merciful way for them to die.“What are you going to do now?” Animus declared as his head and limbs floated there. “You cannot destroy Animus!”“Oh, we think we can,” Utopia Perfectia declared.Utopia Perfectia pulled out his gigantic gun and declared, “Although once the 40k Mighty Grandma Assault rifle, it was reborn as the 4,000k Almighty Grandmother Attack rifle, or the 4,000k AGA!”“And what can it do?” Animus declared. “Shoot pathetic bullets at me?”“It can do more than that,” Utopia Perfectia declared. “The 4,000k Almighty Grandmother Attack rifle does what the 40k MGA could do, but better! Watch and be amazed and awed at my gun’s power!”Utopia Perfectia seized a whole dimension – yes, you read that right, a whole freaking dimension – and stuffed it into the 4,000k AGA. The 4,000k AGA suddenly glowed with power and shook with so much force that it would have disintegrated the soul of any other being but Utopia Perfectia had someone else been using it.“The 4,000k AGA can take the might of any attack and increase it by 100,000,” Utopia Perfectia declared as he aimed it at Animus. “So, as they say in Germany, hola.”A blast of pure light, energy, and life exploded from the 4,000k AGA’s barrel and slammed into Animus. The blast was so powerful that it warped Animus’s very essence, tearing through him like paper. And in fact Animus did become paper; then stone; then metal; and then, with a final roar of anguish, he exploded, then imploded, and exploded one last time in an epic explosion that destroyed several nearby dimensions (again, probably uninhabited).The explosion was so powerful that it sent Utopia Perfectia flying. Utopia Perfectia smashed back into the normal dimension and when he slammed into the ground, his form suddenly faded, replaced by Mata Nui, Ackar, Kiina, Bucket-head, Oris, Tera, and Likus, all lying on the ground, slightly dazed.“Whoa,” said Mata Nui, shaking his head as he sat up. “That was awesome.”“I feel sick,” said Bucket-head, clutching his stomach. “But I obviously can’t get sick onscreen, otherwise the BZP moderators would crack down on me.”“That comment seems out of character for you,” Ackar commented.“What comment?” said Bucket-head, blinking confusedly. “I just said something?”“Never mind,” said Ackar as he and the others stood up. “You’re just a stupid Skrall.”“Hey!” said Bucket-head indignantly, but no one paid any attention to him because he’s stupid.“Well, that was one crazy adventure,” said Mata Nui as he stretched his limbs, like he’d just taken a refreshing nap. “Now that we kicked Dah Element Lords’ butts, I think it’s time to go home, guys.”“Um, Mata Nui?” said Kiina. “You do remember Gresh and Berix, right?”“Of course I did, Kiina,” said Mata Nui, in a voice that clearly said he did not. “Where’d those two rascals scamper off to?”Just then, Gresh and Berix’s cage fell out of the sky and landed on Bucket-head.“Darn it,” said Bucket-head’s muffled voice from underneath the cage. “I just helped kill a giant entity and this is the thanks I get?”But no one paid any attention to Bucket-head because he’s stupid, you know. Mata Nui ripped the cage door off its hinges and threw it away. The door exploded as soon as it hit the ground, simply because the author wanted to sneak in one more explosion before the story’s end.“Thank yuba, Mata Nui,” said Gresh as he walked out of the cage, with Berix following close behind him. “For a while thereba I thought weba were gonersba!”Berix, meanwhile, had noticed Oris, Tera, and Likus standing nearby and gasped. “Oh, no! You replaced us with new friends? I thought we were BFFs, Mata Nui! You sent me a text saying so!”“They’re not really my friends,” Mata Nui whispered, so that only Berix could hear him. “They just sort of tagged along.”“Oh,” said Berix brightly, as Bucket-head lifted the cage off him and threw the cage away. “I didn’t really care. I was just being melodramatic for no reason.”“I don’t expect any less from you, Berix,” said Mata Nui, patting him on the shoulder. “You know, I kind of forgot about you and Gresh.”“That’s okay,” said Berix. “If I were you, I’d probably forget about me, too.”Before Mata Nui could figure out what the Agori meant, Berix noticed Bucket-head.“Skrall!” Berix shouted, pointing at Bucket-head. “Die!”Berix pulled out his double guns and fired several rounds at Bucket-head. But Bucket-head quickly deflected the bullets with his shield, saying, “Hey! I just helped save your sorry-““Hey,” said Likus to Berix, interrupting Bucket-head. “Cut it out, you little midget. That’s our Skrall and if you want to hurt him you’ve got to ask us first.”“May I please shoot your Skrall, then?” asked Berix, briefly lowering his guns.“Of course,” said Likus.“Yay!” said Berix. “Except I don’t want to shoot him anymore. He’s too stupid to shoot.”“Why must everyone – literally everyone – think I am stupid?” said Bucket-head, looking up at the sky. “Why?”“Anyway,” said Mata Nui, dusting off his pants. “I think the plot is just about over. Unless the author plans to have ninjas attack us again-“It was at that moment that an army of ninjas appeared out of nowhere, but Mata Nui stood up, yelled, “NO!” as loudly as possible, disintegrating the ninja army instantly.“That was a close one,” said Ackar, wiping sweat off his brow.“Indeed,” said Mata Nui. “Now everyone, let’s go home.”The group of nine started off in one direction, until Kiina asked Mata Nui, “Uh, Mata Nui?”“Yes, Kiina?” said Mata Nui, looking at her as they walked.“Do you even know where home is?”“Of course I do,” Mata Nui replied, in a tone that clearly said that he didn’t. “Remember my infallible sense of direction? We are not lost.”“We’re going to get lost unless you consult this map I brought along,” said Bucket-head, pulling out a map from his bag. “I am not a believer of your ‘infallible sense of direction.’ So let’s see-“Berix quickly snatched the map from Bucket-head’s hands and ate it.“Hey!” said Bucket-head, glaring at Berix. “Why did you eat my map?”“I was hungry,” Berix replied with a huge grin. “I haven’t eaten in a week. Well, I did try to eat Gresh-““Thatba’s why Iba am missing one of my swordsba,” Gresh said.“-but he didn’t taste good,” Berix continued. “I even tried to eat myself once, but the laws of physics prevented that or something, so I didn’t.”Bucket-head turned to Mata Nui and asked, “Is Berix always this stupid?”“What do you mean?” Mata Nui said. “He seems pretty normal to me.”Okay, Bucket-head thought. It appears that I am the only sane one around here. Angonce help me.But no Great Being came down from the heavens to save Bucket-head, so he was forced to go along with the merry band of butt-kickers as they rode into the setting sun (not literally, in case you are confused).Commentary:

“You are stronger than I originally believed, Utopia Perfectia,” Animus declared as they pushed. “But let it be known this day that Animus, Dah Element Lord of Everything, is the Greatest and the Bestest of Eternity!”“We do not think so, Animus,” Utopia Perfectia declared. “For behold, we have the power of unity coursing within our collective veins! Nothing you do can stop unity! Huzzah!”

Utopia Perfectia pulled out his gigantic gun and declared, “Although once the 40k Mighty Grandma Assault rifle, it was reborn as the 4,000k Almighty Grandmother Attack rifle, or the 4,000k AGA!”

“I feel sick,” said Bucket-head, clutching his stomach. “But I obviously can’t get sick onscreen, otherwise the BZP moderators would crack down on me.”“That comment seems out of character for you,” Ackar commented.“What comment?” said Bucket-head, blinking confusedly. “I just said something?”“Never mind,” said Ackar as he and the others stood up. “You’re just a stupid Skrall.”

Reading this discussion, it's made me wonder if I should rethink my current approach to my comedy trilogy, the Legend Trilogy. It's really all about parodying bad writing and being awesome, but I wonder if maybe I should think about putting as much effort into it as I put into my epics and short stories.Can' t really do it with The Legend Exploded 'cause it's already written, but maybe in The Legend Imploded I'll take a different approach. Time will tell, I suppose.I pretty much agree with Cederak that most comedies don't seem to have a lot of effort put into them (although to be fair I've seen a fair amount of epics and short stories with little effort put into them, too). On the other hand, though, it's a lot easier to get replies in the Comedies forum than it is in the Epics or Short Stories forum. I don't post my stories purely for replies and reviews, but I've noticed that I can post an epic, a short story, and a comedy in the same time period and the comedy is the only one of the three that is guaranteed to get at least one reply.Aside from that, don't have much to say except that this is a good discussion. More discussion is always good, IMO.-TNTOS-

I believe that Animus's weapon should've exploded when it touched the aura instead of breaking in half. Well this chapter was interesting to say the least although I forget who Tera is. Though I wish Berix and Gresh would appear soon but Mata Nui is good enough. What's was I remembering the Legend Reloaded had Zeus and when I stopped thinking about it Hades showed up strange.

I wanted to comment on the exploding door, there are a lot of jokes I can make with that except they involve a. The War on Terror, b. The Israel Palestine conflict, and c. Getting the US Gov't to monitor me because said a word on their list. So yeah because they are all political and involve the Gov't spying on me I won't make any jokes. Anyway so how can Jason Bourne enter but not the X-men they would have made defeating Animus a lot quicker.

The short and sweet version: good chapter though not as funny as the previous but a good climatic chapter.(how much fan service was in the Bourne movies?)

“Fine, fine,” Bucket-head grumbled. “Hate on me for trying to bring some logic to this comedy’s nonsensical stupidity.”​we will hate on you because logic would just make this comedy make no sensedespite the long chapter that's all i havecant wate to see what happends

Animus raised his hodge-podge weapon and unleashed a combined blast of all of the elements. In the canon story, this would have created protodermis; however, the author does not feel that that is sufficiently epic for this comedy.So instead, the blast was literally made of fire, water, ice, rock, sand, and jungle. And, as the blast drew nearer to Mata Nui and friends, the elements took the forms of animals such as horses, lions, and ponies, breathing their respective elements out of their mouths as they charged down our heroes.Everyone scattered, save for Mata Nui, who absorbed the blast with his 40k MGA. And spinning around, Mata Nui fired the blast back at Animus at 100 times its usual strength. The blast struck Animus directly in the head, but shockingly, it didn’t seem to affect him at all.“Pathetic fool!” Animus declared, pounding his chest like an ape. “You cannot use my own attacks against me! In fact, you actually make me stronger! Watch and be amazed! Huzzah!”Animus clapped his hands. Above them, a star that had appeared in the sky suddenly exploded into a black hole, which then exploded back into a star.“I control reality itself!” Animus declared. “You cannot stop reality!”“Forgive me for trying!” Mata Nui said as he ran at Animus.But Mata Nui wasn’t the only one fighting Animus. The others were running with him (including, surprisingly, Bucket-head) and, as one, they jumped into the air and delivered a combined flying kick into Animus’s chest. Animus staggered from the blow, but it didn’t appear to do much other than annoy him.Animus tried to stomp them, but it was impossible, for our heroes were climbing up his legs. Bucket-head, Oris, and Ackar were climbing up his plant leg, while Mata Nui, Kiina, Tera, and Likus were climbing up his sand leg. In fact, Animus was so huge that they weren’t so much climbing up his legs as they were walking up them. Yes, folks. Animus has his own gravitational field. No, I don’t know how that’s possible, so stop asking.“Fools and mortals!” Animus declared. “I need not directly attack you to kill you! My avatars shall slay you in cold blood!”On Animus’s plant leg, several plant beings arose, blocking Bucket-head, Oris, and Ackar’s path. The plant beings looked a lot like Resata, while the sand beings that had appeared on his other leg looked like Etora. The only difference was that these ‘avatars’ seemed not to have a mind of their own, although they all looked dangerous.The Resatas tried to attack Ackar’s group, but they didn’t last long. That is, the Resatas. Ackar, Oris, and Bucket-head didn’t even bother with them. Ackar just snapped his fingers and set all of the Resatas on fire, while Bucket-head and Oris slashed through them with unnecessary ferocity.Meanwhile, on the sand leg, Mata Nui and his group had already destroyed the Etoras Animus had sent against them. They were now moving steadily up the leg towards Animus’s midriff.“No,” Animus declared. “You shall not go any further! Huzzah!”Animus shook his legs so hard that he sent Mata Nui and friends flying. But all of our heroes flipped in midair and landed on the ground expertly (what else did you expect?).“Hmm,” said Mata Nui, stroking his chin. “Looks like we’re going to need backup.”Animus breathed all of the elements at our heroes. Just before the breath hit them, however, a good-looking man with hard abs appeared in between our heroes and the blast and deflected it back at Animus with his abs. The blast struck Animus in the face, but again it didn’t seem to hurt him, only stagger him.“Oh my gosh!” Kiina squealed. “It’s Jason Bourne!”She was right. The good-looking man with hard abs was none other than Jason Bourne, of the Bourne Trilogy movies, himself, although he was shirtless for some reason. Fanservice, maybe?“Jason Bourne!” Mata Nui said in astonishment, although there was a hint of jealousy in his voice. “What are you doing here?”“I knew you needed help,” Bourne replied. “So I came.”“But why? How?” said Bucket-head. “I mean, humans don’t even exist in this universe, so how-““Shut up, Bucket-head,” said Bourne. He then addressed Mata Nui and asked, “Is he always like that?”“Pretty much,” Mata Nui said, nodding.Just then, a huge shadow appeared over them all. Mata Nui at first assumed a solar eclipse had occurred for no reason, but when he looked up, he realized that he and his friends were looking at the underside of Animus’s left foot. Animus was about to stomp them into pancakes.But Mata Nui and Bourne teamed up. They flew – yes, Mata Nui can fly – up and stopped Animus’s continent-sized foot from crushing our heroes.“What?” Animus declared. “Two mortals, stopping my foot? That is impossible!”“Anything’s possible,” Mata Nui answered, his voice slightly strained as he pushed against Animus’s weight. “So long as you believe!”“BELIEVE!” Bourne echoed.The word ‘BELIEVE’ flew through the sky, out of nowhere, and slammed into Animus. At the same time, Bourne and Mata Nui pushed up and sent Animus tumbling backwards. Animus fell down, crushing a continent and killing millions, but that’s not important because that wasn’t the continent our heroes were on.“You fools!” Animus declared as he jumped to his feet, which caused a gigantic earthquake to shake the whole planet. “You got lucky with that little ‘believe’ stunt, but the gods favor I, and only I! You are cursed to fail!”“Fail this!” said Mata Nui as he jumped through the air at Animus.Mata Nui then unleashed a torrent of fists at Animus, punching him wherever he could. The blows actually connected, causing Animus to stagger backwards from the punches.But then Animus recovered and, swatting Mata Nui aside, declared, “No one can stop Animus! Not even Jason Bourne!”“Darn,” said Bourne. He turned to the others and said, “Sorry, guys, Animus said I can’t beat him, so see you later.”Bourne then disappeared, most likely to argue with the movie producers about making him the star of the next Bourne movie rather than that other guy.“That was disappointing,” said Bucket-head.“Speak for yourself,” Kiina replied.“It doesn’t matter,” said Ackar. “I’ve got an idea. Follow my lead.”Ackar and the others ran toward Animus, who was bellowing like a hyena on sugar.“Everyone!” Ackar yelled as they ran. “Battle Strategy Alpha Beta Gamma Omega and whatever other Greek letters we forgot!”The six allies formed an octagon around Animus, who didn’t seem to realize what was about to happen. Everyone aimed their weapons at Animus’s legs, weapons charging with weapons, and Ackar said, “Now, before he realizes what we’re about to do!”At the exact same time, Ackar, Kiina, Bucket-head, Oris, Tera, and Likus unleashed a blast of energy, one for each element. The energy blasts moved so fast that they ripped holes in the fabric of reality and struck Animus’s legs at exactly the same time. This created a huge, multicolor explosion that destroyed Animus’s legs, sending the titan tumbling down to the ground.Animus smashed into the ground, which started another earthquake somewhere in Canada (because I, the Narrator, don’t like Canada). The earth shattered underneath Animus’s body, but he was so huge that he didn’t fall into the pit. Instead, he reformed his legs and stood back up.“Nice try, mortals!” Animus declared, looking down at them all. “You managed to actually hurt me! But you can’t do that forever. I am smart enough to know to avoid it. Therefore you shall die!”Just then, Mata Nui ran from out of nowhere and said, “Guys, watch out!”Exactly what Mata Nui was warning about, no one knew until a mountain came flying out of nowhere and hit Animus in the face. The mountain exploded into pieces as Animus staggered backwards and fell to the ground again. This second fall probably cracked Bara Magna’s crust and most likely activated several dormant volcanoes all over the world, but no one cares about that because our heroes were nowhere near those volcanoes.“How did you do that?” Bucket-head asked.Mata Nui pointed at a very small catapult made of LEGO pieces standing not too far away. “It was a bit tricky balancing it, but I managed.”“Well, I guess I’ve seen crazier things,” Bucket-head said with a sigh.Now Animus was back on his feet (again). He declared, “You mortals are amusing playthings, but no more! I shall destroy you divine lightning! Huzzah!”Lightning burst from Animus’s fingertips, but Likus sprung into action. He jumped in front of the bolts and, using his baseball bat, hit the lightning bolts away. They were going . . . going . . . going . . . gone! And it was a home run and Likus ran around all of the bases and the fans cheered and Likus was inaugurated into the Baseball Hall of Fame and he lived happily ever after the end.Actually, none of that happened, except Likus hitting the lightning bolts with his baseball bat. I was just saying that for no reason other than to mess with you. Ha.“Guys, it’s clear to me that we can’t beat this guy alone,” said Mata Nui. “That is why, in order to defeat a giant made of the elements, you must become a giant made of the elements!”“And what does that mean?” asked Bucket-head uneasily. “We’re not going to have to do some sort of stupid combination thing, are we?”“We will have to combine!” Mata Nui bellowed, his voice so loud that a little mouse that had been crawling nearby exploded into flames. “For unity!”At that moment, a golden aura exploded into existence around Mata Nui, Ackar, Kiina, Bucket-head, Oris, Tera, and Likus. The aura enveloped them and for a moment even Animus could only stare in awe as the aura obscured our heroes from view.“What is this?” Animus declared. “You think to protect yourself with pretty lights? How silly! I shall destroy you where you stand!”Animus tried to destroy the aura with his weapon, but as soon as the blade of his toy made contact with the aura, the hodge-podge weapon snapped.“No!” Animus declared. “My weapon! This cannot be!”“Oh, it can be, Animus,” said a deep voice from within the golden aura, “because it is can be.”Before I could make a sarcastic comment about the repetitiveness of that last line, the golden aura exploded and from within the explosion arose a being just as tall as Animus. The being even looked a little like Animus, although it was obviously different.Its arms were made of fire and water, its legs of stone and sand, and its body of ice and jungle. But the head was different from them all. It resembled Mata Nui’s head, except bigger and appeared to be made out of pure golden light. The giant also wielded what looked like a gigantic 40k Mighty Grandma Assault rifle, which had a sword blade running along the top of barrel because it looked cool.Within the giant’s head, one could see a tiny figure shining brightly, almost even more brightly than the giant’s head. In fact, if one looked at every part of the body, one could see a being inside each part. For Mata Nui and friends were controlling the giant, yet at the same time weren’t. Or something. I dunno.“Who are you?” Animus declared, actually taking a step back from the newly-formed titan.“Who are we,” the titan declared. “For you see, we still exist as separate individuals, despite our combined forms. But you may call us Utopia Perfectia, the realization and embodiment of unity.”“Whoever or whatever you are, you cannot stand before the might of Animus!” Animus declared as he threw a punch at Utopia Perfectia.But Utopia Perfectia caught the punch and then hurled Animus over his shoulder. Animus slammed into the earth with more force than before, causing another major earthquake in some other part of the world I don’t care about.Just then, they heard some thumping underneath the ground and Hades’ muffled voice could be heard, saying, “Hey! Stop destroying the earth! Some of us are trying to sleep, you know!”“Hades is right,” Utopia Perfectia declared. “We cannot allow this planet to be destroyed by our battle. Behold! We shall take this battle to another dimension!”With an overly dramatic wave of his arms, a dimensional portal exploded into existence. Utopia Perfectia seized Animus and hurled him through the portal. Then Utopia Perfectia jumped through and the dimensional portal disappeared with a pop.Commentary:No commentary today. I think this chapter is pretty self-explanatory .-TNTOS-

Hello, short stories readers. These two stories I am posting today were my two entries for the most recent SS contest, Warm Up. They're exactly as I entered them for the contest, although I did think about editing them. But as this is a compiliation and not a rewrite, editing them wouldn't make much sense, IMO (although I did change one letter in the second story, but that's it as far as editing goes).Anyway, enough blabbering and onto the stories:Theme: VisionsWord Count: 568Title: The Curse of VaguenessKafor blinked and saw herself.No. That wasn’t it. Not exactly. She did see herself, but it was herself from the future. The Skakdi Seer watched as her future self battled a figure dressed in white robes. The being moved with the grace of a serpent; indeed there was something vaguely serpentine in his thin arms and legs that sent shivers up Kafor’s spine.Kafor wasn’t alone in this vision, however. She saw a black-and-green warrior fighting alongside her future self. She did not recognize his species at all. He was hunchbacked and hideous, with a round helmet with a protruding backside. He carried a sword and buzz saw shield, but he used them mostly for channeling shadow elemental energy.Who is that being? Who are we fighting? Kafor thought, but she really didn’t expect an answer. Her visions were always vague and this one was no different.It was then that Kafor sensed someone nearby. Glancing to the left, Kafor saw a Toa of Iron chained up (which she found ironic). She recognized him as Toa Nasis, a customer of hers, but she didn’t feel disturbed to see him in chains. She’d never liked him much anyway. She didn’t even bother theorize why he was here when she knew there wasn’t any point in speculating in these visions.Kafor turned her attention back to the fight. She saw her future self fire eye beams at the white-robed being, who ducked while at the same time with his arm blocking the shadow being’s sword. The white-robed being smirked and his face changed into a Kanohi Pakari. He slammed his fist into the shadow being’s face, sending Kafor’s future ally stumbling to the ground.Future Kafor gasped, but then the shadow being got back up and shook his head, as though he got punched in the face by unnaturally strong beings every day. The shadow being charged at the white-robed enemy again, swinging his sword. This time landing a hit on the enemy, cutting through his robes and revealing black armor underneath.Future Kafor shot more laser blasts at the white-robed enemy, which hit him in the chest. Kafor figured that should‘ve been a fatal blow, but the enemy merely staggered backwards and glanced down at the smoking hole in his chest. It looked as though the enemy’s innards were completely devoid of organs, similar to a robot’s anatomy.Then the enemy scowled and clapped his hands together, creating a sonic boom that Kafor couldn’t hear. She knew it was a sonic boom because her future self and her future ally clasped their hands over their audio receptors and reeled in agony. Kafor was glad she couldn’t hear it.The enemy ran at Future Kafor and her ally. Kafor blinked again and found herself lying rigid on her bed, staring up at the ceiling of her room. She cursed her vision for ending just then, but only halfheartedly. Her visions were always unclear and she hadn’t expected this one to be different.This one seemed more important than past visions, however, perhaps because it directly concerned her. Kafor only wished she knew when it was going to take place, if nothing else. She also wondered what Nasis had to do with it.Not much I can do about it, Kafor thought. Except, of course, wait. And, although I’ve become so good at it over the years, I hate waiting.------Theme: FlightWord Count: 578Title: The Test“Okay,” said the Le-Matoran instructor, sitting in the passenger’s seat beside Kongu. “Have you checked the levitation and weight disks?”Kongu nodded. “First thing I quick-checked, instructor-sir.”The instructor scribbled on his pad. “The chutes?”“Full,” Kongu answered. “And capped-blocked, too.”The instructor scratched something else down. “Levers and pulleys fully operational?”“Completely, instructor-sir,” said Kongu, pointing at the pulleys before him. “I had my engineer-friend look them over beforehand.”“Emergency lights and radar systems in proper condition?”“Of course, instructor-sir.”“All safety procedures followed?”“To the letter, instructor-sir.”“Then let’s commence-began the flight test.”Kongu smiled and nodded and turned to the controls. Although Kongu was careful not to show it, his nerves were wracking him so badly that he almost forgot what to do. If he passed this test, he’d become a licensed airship pilot. If he failed . . . well, he could always be a chute monitor, Kongu supposed.All right, Kongu thought. Just need to pull-grab this pulley and up-high we’ll go.The Le-Matoran pulled the pulley toward himself. The airship lurched, almost throwing the instructor off his seat, though thankfully he was securely tied down thanks to his seat belt.“Quick-sorry about that,” said Kongu, hastily letting go of the pulley to turn his attention to the instructor.That caused the ship to lurch back, knocking the instructor’s skull back against his seat’s head. “Ow! Keep your eyes on the sky, student!”“Yes, instructor-sir,” said Kongu, turning his attention back to the controls.This time, the airship flew although Kongu noticed out of the corner of his eye that the instructor was frowning and scribbling something on his pad. Kongu tried to ignore the instructor. His friend, Matau, had told him that as long as he kept his cool, Kongu would be able to pass.The airship was now in the sky, but it was not moving. Kongu had yet to unleash the capped proto chutes because he was busily making sure that the airship was steady and aiming forward. He’d heard tales of careless students who’d uncapped the chutes when the airship was aiming slightly toward the ground, which usually resulted in a bloody, messy death for everyone involved.The sensors indicated that the airship was stable, so Kongu said to the instructor, “Which way do I go-fly, instructor-sir?”“Go-fly north,” said the instructor, pointing straight ahead. “Just don’t-“In his eagerness to obey the instructor’s commands, Kongu immediately pulled the lever that uncapped the chutes. He opened them a little too wide, however, for the ship shot forward at dangerous speeds. They were flying straight toward a building and would have crashed into it had the instructor not immediately flipped the emergency break switch just in time.Without warning, the airship stopped so abruptly that Kongu was thrown forward and hit the controls. Shaking his head, Kongu looked at the instructor and smiled sheepishly.“So . . . did I pass-succeed the test?” said Kongu, although he knew the answer even before the instructor answered.“No,” said the instructor, shaking his head. “You failed-lost. Land the airship and we’ll speak-discuss your future later.”Kongu nodded unhappily and landed the airship, though this time he was careful to do things right so they wouldn’t crash into the ground.As Kongu and the instructor exited the airship, Kongu decided that maybe being a chute monitor wouldn’t be such a bad job after all. Would be easier than flying airships, at any rate.Comments, criticisms, reviews, etc. are all welcome .-TNTOS-

Just caught up on the two most recent chapters. They're good, but I do have a few minor criticisms (these from Clash - Part One):

“His Miru should easily levitate those who aren’t used to this way. Anybody who doesn’t want to take that route, follow me, please,"

Nagii adjoined Atuu, while the rest followed quickly.

She was new to the battlefront – she was unlike her cohorts. She was native to a foreign land, far from Rohan. She never imagined to be a Toa…it is an honor to be part of a team like the Rohan.

She was new to the battlefront, unlike her cohorts. She was also from a foreign land, far from Rohan, and so had never imagined she'd one day become a Toa and join the Rohan. It was truly an honor.

The forest surrounded her with lush green trees, exotic plants that glowed a bright yet strange blue in the night…there were all sorts of wonders in Attempting to

You forgot to put a period between "in" and "Attempting."Anyway, keep on writing .-TNTOS-

Usually about once or twice a day, because the topics I post generally tend to be epics, short stories, or comedies, which aren't exactly fast reads (unless they happen to be unusually short).-TNTOS-

So it's Wednesday again, which means it's time for another chapter, which means I've already said this thing before but I really don't know what else to say, so here's the next chapter:

Xocion slashed and stabbed. Ackar slashed and stabbed. Neither appeared to be overpowering the other, for they were too evenly matched. Xocion was younger and faster, but Ackar was awesomer, which evened things out a bit (even though 'awesomer' isn't a word).Ackar leaped over Xocion’s head and tried to stab him in the back (literally), but Xocion saw that coming and blocked the blow with his sword.But this was a trick, for Ackar charged the power of the Purest of Flames through his Almighty Fist of Fire and punched Xocion in the stomach with it. He charged all of his fire into this one attack, which was so powerful that it actually started transmuting Xocion’s ice into flame. And Ackar wasn’t even using a transmutation circle, either.“What . . . what are you doing?” Xocion demanded, his voice becoming more distant and echo-like. “I can’t feel my toes anymore!”“You always liked the cold, Xocion,” said Ackar as he continually charged fire into Dah Element Lord. “And I will admit sometimes the cold is good. But you forgot to understand the pure, bright, and elderly power of the Flame! Hiya!”With that, Ackar unleashed a gigantic burst of fire that was so powerful that it completely and totally incinerated Xocion’s icy form. In fact, it was so hot that when Xocion tried to reform again, the fire just melted him again and again until he gave up. As Xocion couldn’t reform anymore, his spirit tried to possess Ackar’s body instead.But Ackar’s body was shining and burning with so much righteous heat that even Xocion’s ghost couldn’t possess him. Ackar burped loudly, sending Xocion’s ghost flying into the farthest reaches of space and into a black hole, which exploded, thus destroying Xocion forever and forever.“That was easy,” said Ackar. “Now where are my prunes?”-Jutan stomped on Kiina. But as Jutan was made of water, Kiina ended up inside his huge foot. So she started swimming around his body, but there was not much she could do in there.It annoyed Jutan, however, who said, “Get out of my body! Hey, that tickles!”Kiina’s trident had touched part of Jutan’s thigh, which had tickled him. So that tickles, huh? Wonder if this tickles!Kiina stabbed her trident into that same area, this time with more force. Jutan didn’t giggle this time; instead, he roared with pain as Kiina continually stabbed him, over and over again, in the thigh. Exactly how Kiina’s solid metal trident was stabbing Jutan’s thigh made out of water . . . ah, never mind. Trying to make reasonable and sound answers to every single one of this comedy’s leaps in logic will just fry your mind, so don’t do it.Jutan made a deep grunt and a water spout in his body slammed into Kiina. The spout sent Kiina flying out of Jutan’s body. Kiina flipped over and over again in midair and then punched the air. Somehow this sent a giant fist made of air at Jutan, which struck him so hard that his giant water body exploded, creating a short-lived rain storm.Kiina landed on the ground just as Jutan reformed, although this time he was smaller.“Good try, Kiina,” said Jutan. “We could have been more than friends if you hadn’t been with Mata Nui!”“Um, we were never friends,” said Kiina. “Ever.”“I know,” said Jutan. “I was just saying that to mess with you.”“You’re sick,” said Kiina.“You’re sicker!” said Jutan as he ran at her, his hooks drawn.This time, however, Kiina was ready for him. As Jutan ran at her, Kiina leapt into the air and spun so fast that she became a drill. She then somehow flew through the air, flying around and around Jutan (who had yet to realize what was going on) and then spun straight through him. Her body had created so much heat from the movement that she actually vaporized his watery body, causing him to cry out in pain as his body turned into steam.Kiina stopped and staggered on the ground before regaining her balance.“Ugh, I think I’m going to be sick,” she said.Kiina did not notice the tendrils of steam that were now bearing down on her; at least, she didn’t appear to, until she whirled around and actually punched the steam tendrils. She punched them so hard that the tendrils solidified and then broke into pieces like glass as Jutan’s tortured voice echoed throughout the land as he was finally defeated.“Too easy,” said Kiina. “Piece of cake.”-Oris struggled against Resata’s bonds, but it was no good. The vines were too thick, too strong, for a mere mortal to break.But Oris was no mere mortal. Flexing his muscles, he yelled, “I call upon the hotness of Orlando Bloom to give me strength! Hiya!”Angels sang out as the heavens burst forth and a holy beam of light struck Oris. But it did not hurt him. It made him stronger. It gave him enough strength to rip through Resata’s vines as he bellowed incomprehensibly.“No!” Resata shouted. “You can’t break free!”“Oh, I can,” said Oris as he tore through his bonds. “Or don’t you know that I'm one of the main characters?”With that, Oris flexed his manly muscles one more time, which incinerated the vines. But Resata’s essence managed to escape and reform not far away, back in his usual form. Resata looked enraged, but Oris wasn’t afraid of him. With a simply flick of his wrist, Oris sent Resata flying into the air. Then Oris jumped into the air and brought his foot down on Resata, sending Dah Element Lord smashing into the ground.In fact, Resata broke through so fast that he actually ended up in the place where Gandalf fought the Balrog. As a matter of fact, Gandalf and the Balrog were fighting each other at that moment. But when Resata flew into their midst, they decided to put aside their differences and kick his butt. I cannot say what they did to him, exactly, because it would be too gruesome for this comedy’s target audience. I will just say they used a combination of headphones, The Last Airbender, and crackers to torture Resata gruesomely.But they knew it wasn’t their job to truly kick his butt, so they sent Resata back up to the surface. With that out of the way, the plot of The Lord of the Rings could continue on as normal.Resata broke through the surface and flew through the air. Oris – who had been floating in midair for no particular reason – flew toward Resata. He charged both of his fists with the holy light of Orlando Bloom and, without hesitation, slammed them into Resata’s abdomen.Ordinarily, Resata would have just been sent flying by a punch from Oris. But as the holy light of Orlando Bloom was flowing through Oris’s fists when they truck Dah Element Lord of Jungle, a few interesting things happened.First, Resata’s whole body glowed with energy. Then the energy began tearing Resata’s body apart, piece by piece, as he was blasted into the fifth dimension. And finally, as Resata floated in the endlessness of the fifth dimension, Orlando Bloom himself appeared, except 1,000 times his usual height.“No . . .” Resata breathed, looking upon Orlando Bloom’s gigantic face.But Orlando Bloom said nothing as he aimed his titanic bow at Resata. Orlando Bloom let go of the arrow, which, when it struck Resata, created an explosion the likes of which this comedy has never seen before, thus totally annihilating Resata forever.Back in the normal dimension, Oris had landed on the ground. He dusted off his armor as he said, “Well, that wasn’t so difficult. Thanks, Orlando Bloom.”“No problem,” said Orlando Bloom, who had just appeared out of nowhere. “I am always willing to help a friend whose name begins in ‘O.’”Then Orlando Bloom disappeared, while Oris just stood there, waiting for the scene to change.-As Torxus’s fist came flying at Bucket-head’s head (pun intendedl), Bucket-head ducked and grabbed Torxus’s outstretched arm. He then used Torxus’s own weight against him, slamming Dah Element Lord into the ground so hard that it created an earthquake somewhere in China. Why? Because I dislike China.Disclaimer: The Narrator’s views do not reflect the views of the author. The author doesn’t really dislike China or the Chinese, although he does think they could use a chill pill.But Torxus wasn’t defeated yet. He grabbed Bucket-head and smashed him into the ground. But Bucket-head been expecting this. As he hit the ground, Bucket-head grabbed the earth and literally spun it upside down.“What?” said Torxus, looking down into the endlessness of space that was now below him. “How-?”“Don’t ask me,” said Bucket-head, who was clinging to the earth with all the strength he had. “Now good bye.”Bucket-head shook his legs violently and Torxus – who had been holding onto them – let go and fell. Torxus fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell still, until he crashed into the sun.But the sun did not destroy him. Instead, Torxus became one with the sun and tried to destroy Bara Magna.Bucket-head didn’t want Bara Magna destroyed, though. So he flipped the earth right-side up, which caused Bara Magna to hit Sun-Torxus in the face. This killed roughly half the population of the planet, but at least it wasn’t the half our heroes belonged to.The blow was so powerful that it sent Sun-Torxus falling. He was so huge that he actually fell down in space, hitting the ‘floor’ of space and exploding with a ferocity that would have killed everyone in the universe had Bucket-head not contained the sun’s energies and recreated the sun.And so Torxus, Dah Element Lord of Rock, had fallen, although Bucket-head had obviously just gotten lucky.“Lucky?” said Bucket-head incredulously. “You call hitting a sun entity with a freaking planet lucky?”Yes, I do.“I am pretty sure I said Mata Nui was the biggest moron I met,” said Bucket-head. “But I take that back. You, Mr. Narrator, are the biggest moron I have ever met.”Meh. Your insults mean nothing to me. Also you’re stupid.“Never mind,” said Bucket-head. “You aren’t going to listen to me, are you?”Of course not.“Thought so,” said Bucket-head.-Etora the dragon unleashed a blast of sand, for he didn’t have fire breath like most dragons. Instead, he had sand breath, which worked somehow. I don’t know.Likus leapt into the air and began running along the sand breath. Swinging his baseball bat, Likus slammed it into Etora’s head, sending Dah Element Lord/dragon crashing into a conveniently placed Rock Wall ^TM.While Etora was stunned, Likus went over and revived Tera, who awoke with a start.“Not the beets!” said Tera.“What?” said Likus.“Wait, what?” said Tera, looking around. Then realization seemed to dawn on him. “Oh. This isn’t a dream. Dreams, by the way, scare me.”“I know,” said Likus. He gestured at Etora, who was now getting up, and said, “We’ve still got to kick that guy’s butt.”“Butts scare me,” said Tera.“I know that kicking butts doesn’t scare you, though,” said Likus as he and Tera stood up.“You’re right,” said Tera, nodding. “And you being right scares me.”“Foolish Glatorian!” Etora snarled, now standing. “You think you can defeat me? This is my ultimate, One-Winged Angel form. To defeat me, you would need the strength of the gods!”“Or just really mad air guitar skillz,” said Likus.“What?” said Etora. “I don’t understand.”“No one does,” said Likus. “Tera! Get into the Zone!”Tera nodded and immediately both of them drew their air guitars. As they strung their guitars, a green circle appeared around them, shining green light around them (and I am going to use ‘around them’ one more time just to annoy you).“Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh!” said Likus and Tera as they strung their air guitars.Two giant holes appeared in Etora’s sandy body but no matter how hard Etora tried, he couldn’t close them. With horror, Etora realized that Likus and Tera’s air guitars were destroying his body. If he didn’t do something quick, they would totally annihilate him.So, as Likus and Tera said, “Duh, duh, duh, duh,” Etora dashed forward. As he did so, his body dispersed into a dust cloud that went over Likus and Tera. Etora’s plan was to suffocate the two; if they couldn’t make guitar noises with their mouths, then their air guitars would be less effective, if not useless.But Etora forgot that Likus and Tera were in the Zone. The Zone protected them from all outside threats. Even if the universe itself exploded, the Zone would keep them safe so long as they didn’t break concentration.The Zone also destroyed anything that tried to get through, which Etora found out, to his ultimate pain. As soon as his dust cloud form touched the outer edges of the Zone, the sand particles that made up his body began vaporizing one by one. It was only with supreme effort that Etora managed to rip himself away from the Zone, but by the time he did, only one tiny sand particle remained of his form; the particle that contained his consciousness.No matter, Etora thought. I will simply call upon more sand to-But Etora’s plans were severely derailed when a beam of green energy lanced forth from the Zone and struck the last sand particle. This created a minor nuclear explosion that totally destroyed Etora’s essence, without even giving him a chance to scream in pain as his sand particle turned into nothingness.Likus and Tera stopped strumming their air guitars.“Cool!” said Likus.“Sand scares me,” said Tera, “which is why I am happy to see Etora gone.”“Let’s celebrate by doing some more air guitar!” said Likus.And then the two friends started strumming their air guitars again, saying, “Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh!” dancing to a tune only they knew.-The Balrog-Slacuvun hybrid thingy towered over Mata Nui, but Mata Nui had fought beings that towered over him before. In fact, experience told Mata Nui that bigger baddies were easier to kill than smaller baddies. This was because bigger baddies had bigger butts, which meant they were easier to kick.So as Balrog-Slacuvun brought his fist down on Mata Nui, the hero rolled out of the way. Balrog-Slacuvun’s fist smashed through the earth, which sent a huge crack running through the center of Bara Magna. Mata Nui then jumped up onto Balrog-Slacuvun’s arm and started running up it, firing bullets from his 40k MGA as he ran.“You fool!” Balrog-Slacuvun roared, his Italian accent now obscured by the monstrous growl his voice had become. “You fool! You think you can defeat me? I am unstoppable!”“Yeah, other guys have said that to me before,” said Mata Nui. “But you know what they didn’t say they were? Undefeatable. They said they were unstoppable, but not undefeatable.”“What’s the difference?” asked Balrog-Slacuvun.“Well,” said Mata Nui, who stopped running up Balrog-Slacuvun’s arm, “unstoppable implies unstoppability, that is, incapable of being halted by something. Undefeatable, on the other hand, means that you cannot be defeated by someone. Both words are often used interchangeably, but there is in fact a very small, though important, distinction between the two.”“Oh,” said Balrog-Slacuvun. “I will have to keep that in mind next time I use ‘unstoppable’ or ‘undefeatable’.”“That’s good to hear,” said Mata Nui. “No one really pays attention to the proper and subtle distinctions between words in the English language anymore. It’s a sad truth, but there it is.”“Semantics is really interesting,” said Balrog-Slacuvun. “You know, back in Italy, we’re a bit more precise with our words than you English-speakers.”“Really?” said Mata Nui. “I haven’t studied Italian very much. It sounds interesting.”“Yes, it is,” Balrog-Slacuvun agreed. “Take, for example-“Uh, guys?“Yeah?” said Mata Nui, looking up.You’re boring the readers with your talk of language preciseness and semantics and Italian and all of that other stuff.“So?” said Balrog-Slacuvun.No one wants to read about that. The readers want to read about you guys beating the stuffing out of each other. So get to it.“Fine,” Mata Nui sighed. “I must say, however, that it is a commentary on our modern society that violence is considered more entertaining and worthwhile than intellectual discussion about the differences in words. Have we really progressed all since the days of the Roman gladiators?”“It appears not,” Balrog-Slacuvun said with a sigh. “For all our talk of civilization and peace, we really are not much better off now than we were 2,000 years ago. Indeed, I would call that the tragedy of the modern world: a belief in our civilized state when all we’ve done is perfected the techniques of destruction and murder that we have been practicing since the beginning of time.”Okay, guys. Enough philosophical crud. Just get back to fighting.“Okay,” said Mata Nui brightly.“As you wish,” said Balrog-Slacuvun, with more than a hint of mockery.Mata Nui jumped up onto Balrog-Slacuvun’s shoulder and slammed the butt of his gun into the side of Balrog-Slacuvun’s face. This sent the titan reeling, causing him to stumble into a tree. Balrog-Slacuvun recovered quickly, however, and, tearing the now-flaming tree from its roots, hurled the tree at Mata Nui.But Mata Nui was prepared for that. As the flaming tree flew toward him, Mata Nui raised his 40k MGA and absorbed the tree into it. His gun practically bursting with energy, Mata Nui aimed it at Balrog-Slacuvun and said, “Pasta la vista, baby.”“Pasta? No, it’s hasta-“ said Balrog-Slacuvun, but his words were drowned out by the almighty burst of energy that came from Mata Nui’s gun.The energy blast tore through Balrog-Slacuvun’s body. Roaring in pain, Balrog-Slacuvun tried to fly, but his wings had disintegrated and now his fiery body was on fire. That is, the flames that were a natural part of his body were on fire, which somehow caused him pain.But Mata Nui wasn’t finished with him yet. Our hero jumped into the air, jumped so high that he actually rebounded off the ozone layer, and punched Balrog-Slacuvun with all of his might. The wind created from his punch was so powerful that it completely blew out Balrog-Slacuvun’s flames. And, with an almighty kick, Mata Nui sent Balrog-Slacuvun flying so hard that he exploded (Balrog-Slacuvun, that is) into billions of colors, which then exploded into a vortex that spat Slacuvun – no longer one with the Balrog – onto the ground below. Slacuvun lay on the ground, apparently unconscious.“Remember, kids,” said Mata Nui, turning suddenly to the screen. “Don’t play with fire or you could get burned.”“Hey, Mata Nui, who are you talking to?” Ackar asked as he, Kiina, Bucket-head, Oris, Tera, and Likus approached him.“Them,” said Mata Nui, pointing at the screen.The entire gang looked at the readers for a moment.Then Ackar turned back to Mata Nui and said, “So, I think we’ve beaten all of Dah Element Lords.”“Yep,” said Mata Nui. “We kicked their butts. Now let’s go home.”“What about Gresh and Berix?” asked Kiina.“What about them?” said Mata Nui.“That’s the whole point of this comedy, isn’t it?” said Kiina. “You remember, don’t you?”“Uh, no,” said Mata Nui, for which he received a resounding slap from Kiina. “Ow! What was that for?”“For being stupid,” Kiina answered. Then she looked around and added, “Say, what happen to the cage Gresh and Berix were in, anyway?”“Maybe we accidentally destroyed it,” said Oris. “Those fights were pretty intense, although not as pretty as you, Kiina.”“Um, that sentence doesn’t make sense,” said Bucket-head. “The way you said it, it sounded like you were saying the fights were pretty. How can fights be pretty?”“Watch it,” Mata Nui warned, waving his gun in Bucket-head’s face. “I just got told off for discussing semantics. So cut it out.”“Fine, fine,” Bucket-head grumbled. “Hate on me for trying to bring some logic to this comedy’s nonsensical stupidity.”“Darn right,” said Mata Nui. “Anyway, how’s about we-“Mata Nui was interrupted when Slacuvun awoke and, much to their surprise, stood back up. Slacuvun looked battered and pretty much dead, but he wasn’t dead (nor was he as pretty as Kiina, for that matter).“So you survived,” said Mata Nui. “I must not have hit you hard enough or in the right places.”“No, Mata Nui,” Slacuvun said, coughing out unrealistic amounts of blood in order to seem more dramatic. “I am dead.”“That doesn’t make a lick of sense,” said Bucket-head. “Unless you’re being poetic or something-“It was at that moment that an anvil fell on Bucket-head, crushing him beneath it. Unfortunately, he was still alive, for one could still hear his groaning underneath the anvil.“The point is, I am not defeated,” said Slacuvun as his body began glowing with power. “Though you have slain my brothers-“ and here he coughed out even more blood, although this time it was for real medical reasons rather than for drama “-you have not yet tasted the full power of Slacuvun, Dah Element Lord of Fire!”“Oh, what are you going to do, singe my eyebrows?” said Mata Nui. Then he felt above his eyes and said, “Uh, I do have eyebrows, right?”“No, Mata Nui,” Slacuvun snarled. “I am going to do much worse than singe your eyebrows. Behold! I awake!”With that, a huge funnel cloud of six different colors – red, blue, green, white, black, and tan – shot down from the sky and encircled Slacuvun. Lightning bolts shot forth from within as Slacuvun laughed, his laugh becoming deeper and deeper the longer he stayed in the funnel cloud.“He must be watching Beavis and Butthead in there,” said Mata Nui. “Lucky.”At that exact moment, two gigantic hands wrenched open a hole in the funnel cloud. And from within the cloud came a gigantic titan of such epic proportions as have never been seen before in this comedy. The being was so huge that he could probably use the Empire State Building as a toothpick, a rather small toothpick at that.His physical appearance was perhaps the most bizarre part of him. The new entity’s head was on fire, his body appeared to be made of stone, his right arm was made of water, his left of ice, his right leg of plants, and his left of sand. He carried a weapon that looked like a combination of hook, sword, spear, claws, foot attachments, and axe. In fact, he looked like a bad MOC, for his color scheme was a color scream if you know what I mean.“I am Animus!” the entity declared, causing a nearby mountain to go flying into space. “I am Dah Element Lord of Anima, which is to say, of all elements! And I am going to kill you all!"Commentary:

I will just say they used a combination of headphones, The Last Airbender, and crackers to torture Resata gruesomely.

In fact, experience told Mata Nui that bigger baddies were easier to kill than smaller baddies.

“I am Animus!” the entity declared, causing a nearby mountain to go flying into space. “I am Dah Element Lord of Anima, which is to say, of all elements! And I am going to kill you all!"