Inferna Firesword

Looking good, LK! ^^

 

Don't worry too much about release dates; taking care of yourself is more important.

 

-Inferna

I'll make sure he sticks to that, guys. =P (Or try to, at least.)

 

Well, I would've given this to you earlier, but thanks to various things (*glares at wi-fi*), here it is now.

 

Page 10: The scene with Rivnak works a bit better this time around, partly because Ak's sword isn't comically oversized and partly because Ak looks legitimately angry about Rivnak being there. (Also your style has improved a lot, but I've said that many times before =P)

 

Page 11: For some weird reason, I'm finding the fact that background character fell out of her seat face-first really funny xD

 

Page 12: And now she's running away. (I don't blame her at all.) Also, Nemesis looks really sinister in that first panel. =P

 

-Inferna

It is a bit of a swerve after the last couple chapters, but its still very well-written.

 

Am I detecting an RvB reference in the name of the Maxlios robot? =P

 

-Inferna

“That’s a dinosaur,” Sirien finally said, her voice flat. “She is riding on a giant dinosaur.”

That might be the best quote ever. Or an accurate representation of Araina's character. Or both.

 

I think I've been waiting on someone questioning why Sirien is telepathic, and I finally get that questioning, so I'm happy. =P

 

And Bronze isn't dead. Does get hurt, though, so ... partially right?

 

Looking forward to Chapter 7!

 

-Inferna

Looking good! Seems like the team survived for now ... though considering that Bronze isn't mentioned, it looks like the (hypothetical) optimism/naïveity shield isn't going to save him. =P

 

-Inferna

Looks good to me ... then again, I'm a bit sleepy right now, so any roughness looks smooth to me. =P

 

Also, Sir Iaredios called it! Marendar's here ... and dear gods, he frightens me.

 

So Velkia has a Terminator/Sentinel on his side, completely obedient to him. And the team's probably going to have to fight him, when they get out of this predicament. Wonderful.

 

One thing's for sure: someone's gonna die.

 

-Inferna

Lewa and Gali.

 

The one that established that going left is a bad idea.

The museum goes off the rails, due to the displays being scavenged for pieces in the play-area.

 

The Turaga host a scavenger hunt.

The plan fails due their inability to turn their products into working weapons.

 

Firearms are introduced into the Bionicle story.

As promised, a BZP post, and as always, your pink (technically purple) lightning is appreciated. =P

 

Didn't mention this in my earlier review, but I really like the detailing that's on the Trident's guns and the Kanohi Jets, especially the lights reflecting on the metal.

 

-Inferna

So far, I think Onaku's expression in the header is the funniest/most fitting for the topic. =P

 

And the running gag continues! Apparently the disembodied eyes aren't effective the fourth time around.

 

-Inferna

 

That latest entry made me have one thought the entire time:

 

Marendar cometh, and it is sentient. It is like an angel, knowingly and willingly serving it's lord and all the justice that comes hither, though in this case it is more like an angel of death.

 

>.>

 

<.<

 

I can neither confirm nor deny Marendar's presence in Oblivion.

 

Translation: 'Iaredios got it bang on the nose, but for plot's sake I can't say if he's right or not.' =P

 

Marendar actually seems to be the most logical answer, all things considered. I guess he didn't come to mind because he a) didn't appear in the main story before we were left hanging, and b) doesn't have his own BS01 page.

 

-Inferna

Well, that's not ominous/mysterious at all xD

 

If I had to guess, I'd wager that the speaker for this chapter is either Velkia or the Energized Protodermis Entity. Complete shots in the dark, though.

 

-Inferna

Well then. The team has definitely fallen out of the frying pan, I think =P

 

A shame that Arkhata died. I imagine that as a (former) crafter, Sirien's rather concerned about that (and the fact his mask's been taken).

 

I've still got money down on Bronze dying first, in the arena or outside it (since we're yet to see any combat skills from him), though it would greatly amuse me if he was talking the ear off his captors and driving them nuts. "Why won't he shut up!? =P

 

-Inferna

Chapter 2 is posted!

 

Isn't Voriki that meme character?

Really? That's all that interested you about the chapter?

 

*sigh* Alright. If you insist, I will humor you.

 

I did get the name and character concept from the meme, though at the time I didn't know he was as well-known as he is now. He can probably be considered a different character from the meme, though.

 

On the topic of gender distribution: point given. It's your story, so you get to adjust some of the rules. Are you suggesting bias in my theory? That never crossed my mind until you brought it up. You're just trying to misdirect me. On grammar, I really didn't care too much, plus it seemed largely fine.

 

Onto the chapter!

 

Vokiri seems very likeable, and it'll be a shame when you kill him. Also, props to Rhonwen for not just using telepathy for rooting out threats, and using good old-fashioned detective work. If there's any sort of trial system in Aonui, physical evidence is much better than ripping it from someone's mind, and they could claim that telepathic evidence was forged/manipulating the jury's minds.

 

Hecate... I recognize that name. I don't like that name. Also, the Makuta are just playing this like a big old game of chess. But given Teridax's tendencies, there's plans within plans (within plans). I have the feeling we'll be seeing some conflict in the next chapter if Beacon is somehow discovered. Asha is probably going to do something about Beacon or Volterix before she dies (self-imposed mission). Possibly Beacon discovered Pareo's location during spytimes and passed it onto the Makuta. There may be no traitor, just invisible enemy.

 

-Japoro

Am I trying to misdirect you? =P Also, contrary to popular belief I am not an acolyte of GRRM.

 

Since I never finished Wings, I figured I would transplant Rarin and Hecate over to this continuity (their characters are more or less the same as they were in their previous story). They fit the tone, at least.

 

Side note: for those who are confused by the scratched-out bits from Asha's POV here, essentially in the past Volterix mucked around in her mind and made it so she can't think the way she wants to. She can't think 'traitor thoughts', basically; if she does, the programming erases the thought and replaced it with something pro-Brotherhood.

 

Enjoy!

 

-Inferna

Chapter 2

The suns had vanished, and darkness had fallen upon the city of Aonui. The only light that truly illuminated the streets were the harsh white of streetlights, granting sight to patrols of the Militia and the occasional civilian, out late visiting friends or entertaining themselves.

After the city center, the barracks, and the Wall, the best-protected location in the city was the laboratory. It had originally been conceived in imitation of the Knowledge Towers of Metru Nui, but a lack of materials and information on how they were built had caused it to be constructed from stone, which was probably sturdier than the crystal towers anyway.

Here floodlights covered the campus, leaving little room for shadows to form. Several members of the Militia were assigned to the location, and patrolled the grounds and hallways, but not as many as the city center. One of the Toa, after all, practically lived in her laboratory, and was on standby to assist if a crisis struck.

Said Toa was lightly walking down the last few steps to the bottom floor, heading into a locker room where she had stored her weapons. Undine wore light blue armor with cobalt accents, shaped to look like rocks and glass that had been tumbled by the motion of waves until all sharp edges had been worn away. Green eyes, the color of young leaves, shone out from behind her Mask of Conjuration.

Hands unlocked the metal door and pulled it wide, revealing the container to be almost empty, save for one thing. Smiling a bit, Undine reached her right arm into the locker and withdrew her weapon: a thick staff, as tall as she was, with a long curved blade on the top, thankfully sheathed while she was indoors.

“Off for the night, Undine?” the guard manning the front desk asked, a grin showing behind his green Huna as he reached out for her identification card.

The Toa smiled, but it was mechanical in its delivery: a smile delivered by societal norms, and not out of a desire to. Most chalked it up to the Water Toa’s erratic sleeping schedule.

“Yes, though I wish I did not need to patrol tonight. I was making significant progress with my current project,” she said simply, passing the card over to him and letting him run it through the system.

“Still not telling anyone about that?”

“Administrator Fallon knows, of course. And Toa Cailean provided valuable material for my research.”

The guard grinned, shrugged, and waved her on out after passing the card back. Undine silently tucked it away into a pouch on her belt and exited, removing the sheath on her weapon’s blade as the doors swung shut.

Neither saw the shadow flit from the front door to the staircase.

XxX

Tirin knew his patrol route like clockwork: the central part of the second floor, with particular emphasis on area around Toa Undine’s laboratory. He knew there were ten different stations on his route where he could raise the alarm, and the locations where he would intersect with the paths of the three other on-duty guards. He knew he was armed with a Kanoka launcher, a dozen slow and freeze disks, and a sword for close-combat. And he knew that there a dozen other guards inside the building now, and a dozen more outside on the grounds.

By all accounts, this night should feel like any other night: where the only danger that he would face was boredom.

But for him, tonight felt different.

He knew there was no reason for him to feel afraid. There hadn’t been any action outside the Wall ever since the refugees from Pareo had made it inside, and the refugees had swelled the number of those patrolling the Wall and the streets. The Toa now numbered four, and the Spearhead Industries factory was still churning out weapons and technology to defend themselves with.

But for Tirin it felt like the night itself had come to life; and was even now trailing his footsteps like the world’s scariest trainee.

He wanted to turn around, and prove to himself that it was just fear. But the idea that it wasn’t, that turning around would make him lock eyes with a monster, kept his feet rooted and facing forwards.

Something felt like it was crawling up the back of his spine; ice-cold fingers digging between every vertebrae. It was slipping up, further up, faster. Soon it would reach his shoulders, and then his head.

He was standing right outside Toa Undine’s lab, the door locked as usual. The nearest alarm station was three paces in front of him; he could make it at a run.

The sensation was almost to his neck. Taking a breath for reassurance, he spun on his heel, raising his loaded disk launcher at the back wall.

Nothing. There had been nothing there behind him; no long arms reaching out to claw him. Relieved, he turned forward and resumed his patrol.

But Tirin couldn’t shake the feeling that he’d seen something move from the corner of his eye.

XxX

As the guard made his way to the end of the hall, his shadow stretched, like there was a light shining in front of him instead of overhead. It remained even as he turned the corner, only to snap back to normal as a figure rose up from it. Stepping up and out, it turned away and walked towards the door to Undine’s lab.

Beacon exhaled slowly and quietly in the comforting dimness, relieved that nothing had impeded her. It was surprising that it had gone so well. While the guards all cast shadows that she could travel through and hide in, the large number of them meant there were more eyes looking around and possibly spotting her as she moved around. She was pretty sure that she wasn’t spotted as she moved, and it had taken her a long time noticing patrol patterns to take advantage of.

But here she was, undetected and just steps away from her goal. She wasn’t afraid of the guard; it would take him about three minutes to get back to this hallway.

Beacon tried the door, fingers gripping the knob. Locked, as she expected. She had a set of lockpicks, but those left evidence behind: tiny scrapes in the lock, jamming from any broken picks if she lost one.

This required a different touch. She glanced around and listened: no approaching footsteps.

She stepped back from the door and concentrated on two focuses: first to crush the sound of her host’s thoughts, trying to distract her, and the second on her power.

Beacon called on her power, and directed it into her own shadow. It began to move on its own, stretching away from her and starting to stand. It was still two-dimensional, but it would suit her purposes.

She directed the shadow under the door to the Water Toa’ lab, and once inside had it creep up the door to examine the lock. As expected, it was an easy lock: meant to keep people out, and not in. There wasn’t even a proper keyhole; just a button that was pressed down.

Beacon directed the shadow to disengage the lock; a gratifying click was her answer. She rushed inside, closing and locking behind her as quietly as possible. Her shadow, purpose fulfilled, returned to its unstretched position by her feet as it lost its infused power.

The power over shadow gave its bearer the ability to see in perfect darkness, so she felt no need to turn on the lights. The corrupted Toa could see the layout of the room: several tables of neatly-organized lab equipment, ranging from a clean set of dissection tools to a microscope to a compact adding machine. Another table had a set of tablets, all organized as well, though when she walked over to look at them it was clear they weren’t as orderly as the equipment.

They were three sets of ten, and a quick skim of their contents confirmed that they were what she had been dispatched to find. It would be easy to take them right now … but her instructions had been clear. She was meant to find the tablets, but not take them yet. A theft this blatant would alert the city in a way that would not be conducive to her Master’s plan.

Beacon carefully rearranged the tablets so they were back in their original positions, then stepped away. In the darkness of the room, thrown into contrast with the dim light seeping under the door, it was easy for her to fall backwards into a door through shadow.

It was time to head home.

XxX

Beacon wasn’t sure where she went when she passed through the shadows. Master Volterix called it the Field of Shadows, but that didn’t answer the question of where the Field lay in the universe. It had a name, at least.

At times, she could feel things moving around in the darkness with her, that she could never quite see despite being able to see in the dark. Giant things, looking for an exit that was big enough to squeeze through, watching her hungrily and hoping she’d give them the way out.

She hurried through pitch blackness, towards the place that felt Safe, making a solid ground beneath her with every footstep. The door for her appeared ahead, and she gratefully grasped its handle.

XxX

Asha stood obediently just behind and to the left of Makuta Volterix as he waited for his pet Subject Beacon to return.

She scowled as she felt the invading comforting presence of the geas in her mind, correcting her thoughts to something that her slave-master her Master. As a Psionics Toa, she was built to repel any psychic attack, but try as she might she could not didn’t want to remove it.

It was an offense towards all she stood for the pinnacle of what she could accomplish.

But she would not run from it. Not yet.

The door in the shadows opening broke the Hagah from her thoughts, and she stood at attention behind Volterix. Rarin, who was in the laboratory as well, remained silent, focused on cleaning his workstation.

Beacon emerged from the door, and it vanished behind the Toa of Shadow. The red eyes flicked to her for a moment before focusing on the Makuta’s Tryna.

“You have been gone for several days, Beacon,” Volterix stated, voice echoing inside his armor.

“It took me several days to properly stake out the research facility, Master,” came the reply.

“And what have you found?”

“Security is high, but predicable in their patterns. Now that I’ve seen the inside and the darkness, I can find a place to teleport inside easily.”

“And what of the research?”

“Out in the open, in the Water Toa’s lab. You ordered that I not steal them yet, so I left them alone.”

“Good. A theft so blatant would arouse their suspicion. For us to claim the tablets, we will need to keep their attention diverted elsewhere?”

“And how would that be done, Master?” Asha asked, bowing her head in supplication when he looked at her.

“They are already on edge about the sacking of Pareo, if Beacon’s reports are anything to go by. It would be best if we capitalized on their fear. Make them feel as though Aonui is the next city for the Brotherhood to conquer. In such fear a simple theft, even from an important building, will go relatively unnoticed.”

Volterix waved his hand dismissively, his attention diverted. “I will plan this out. Asha, escort Subject Beacon to her quarters, and then retire to your own.”

Beacon immediately moved closer to the Toa of Psionics as Volterix moved away from them. Asha recoiled from the Brotherhood’s newest toy weapon who, like a baby Rahi, was oblivious to her discomfort and tried to move closer.

She knew why Beacon tried to cling to her, and it wasn’t just because its infection forced it to obey Volterix. Early after the infection and infestation, Volterix had put the Toa of Shadow through a series of tests to discover any new traits that had manifested. One of those tests had revealed that Beacon had minor empathic abilities, the likes that even the Makuta did not have.

Volterix had subsequently exposed Beacon to Brotherhood prisoners, some of which had been trapped for centuries. He had learned that his Toa of Shadow could feed off the emotions of those embroiled in despair, and its powers grew stronger for it.

Naturally, the Makuta had assigned it to Asha’s care, reasoning that her nature as a broken Toa would make for an easy-to-handle source of fuel for Beacon. As such, the corrupted Toa tried to latch on to her whenever it wasn’t ordered not to, trying to leach off of her by proximity.

She loathed loved the Toa of Shadow: not for its element, but because its creation necessitated that an innocent Toa be trapped in her own mind, trying to hobble her former body in any way she could.

Asha endured the contact with Beacon and let her cling as they walked. She had vowed long ago that she would see the Brotherhood’s end help them rise to total power, and she would not go to Death’s embrace until she had at least saved the Toa whose body Beacon had stolen.

XxX

Volterix watched the Toa leave, and then turned to Rarin, already cleaning his lab table and preparing for whatever was asked of him.

“Has Beacon satisfied your expectations, lord Volterix?” the Steltian asked, polite and respectful as always.

“It has, but there’s one flaw that needs to be addressed. Having her Light drained gave the power of Shadow, but the infection of the Kanohi is what binds the Subject to the Brotherhood’s will. The weapon could go rogue if a combatant managed to get its mask off. Until Mutran corrects this flaw in the Shadow Leeches, we’ll need to solve this ourselves.”

“Should we fuse the mask to the Subject’s face, sir? It would make it impossible to take off.”

“Too obvious; anyone could see the marks of that. Knowing a being can’t be saved from infection would make Beacon’s enemies go for the kill instead of trying to capture and restrain. As long as they think there’s a chance to save a Toa, they hold back on their efforts.”

“Then what would you like me to create, my lord?”

“Create a virus blend, Rarin. When the next step is complete, I’ll add a command to their mind that will tie into the blend’s effects. If the mask is removed, the blend should tap into Beacon’s systems, and preform an override on their powers.”

“What sort of override, lord Volterix?” the Steltian asked, already starting to retrieve components. “A berserker charge, without regard for safety?”

“Stronger than that. I think the Subject going nova would be a suitable punishment for an enemy removing their mask, wouldn't you say?”

Rarin smiled, enjoying the challenge placed before him. “Indeed it would, lord Volterix. I will get started on this right away.”
Pleased, the Makuta left the Steltian to his work, and headed to his own workshop.

He would need to finish his own device by the time Beacon had finished resting, after all.

XxX

Review here

New comic looks good! The shifts in perspective add to the action, and I kinda like the juxtaposition of the cool "yeah everything's fine" and "AUGH!!!" in the last panel. : P

At this point, I think Akuji's partners are used to the sound of him turning their enemies into his minions. "Oh, don't mind that noise, that's just the sound of Akuji making zombies." =P

 

Nice to see you're back on board, Ak. Looking forward to seeing the next page.

 

-Inferna

Oooooh....

 

I think giving you free reign over our character's backstories was the best thing that could happen. =P

 

-Inferna

A real shocking death would be Araina dying in the next chapter. but I highly doubt that would happen since if she died, the other members would probably abandon the quest. So I think she's safe for now.

That's a possibility. Never thought of that, since she's the Gandalf of the group ... then again, Gandalf did get separated while dealing with the Balrog.

 

I imagine that if she did die, the only reason that the others would continue the quest would be either being too far from home, or realizing just how high the stakes are if they don't finish what was started. Either is possible.

 

-Inferna

Ariana's motivation seems to be -- aside from her current quest -- 'it amused me'. Or at least that's how it seems to everyone that's not her or Bronze. =P

 

Place your bets here, folks: who's going to be the first to die? My money is on either Marako (since I doubt most of the team will want to protect him), Bronze (considering how naïve he is, I wouldn't be too surprised if he got caught in any crossfire), or Sirien (similar reasoning to Maroko due to her personality, along with the fact she appears to be unarmed).

 

-Inferna

Sirien's use of telepathy in this chapter will be expanded upon more later on; it was not a mere slip-up.

 

Smoke Monster's rather... personal feelings towards the Volitak will also be given more explanation as we progress further into the story.

Ah, so it was intentional. I look forward to seeing the answer to that. (And the answer as to why no one in-universe saw that as strange.)

 

-Inferna

Out of the frying pan, into the fire xD

 

And Mayor, if Sirien's been twisting your words, there's a reason for that. Btw, Lucina, she seemed to be able to use telepathy ... how? Last I checked, she's still a Matoran. Unless Matoran in your world have their elemental abilities unlocked. I dunno.

 

Hopefully the Mayor will be sharing 'break the haughty' status with Sirien; seems like they both need it. =P

 

-Inferna

Let's not spam the topic, guys.

 

-Inferna

*sighs and shakes head in amusement*

 

Poor, poor Sirien. Every situation I stick you in seems to end badly for you -- or at least, ends in your pride being tarnished. =P

 

(And its only the beginning of the story for you. I don't anticipate you ending in a good spot, assuming you live.)

 

Great chapter, Lucina! =D

 

-Inferna

 

 

i am not his sidekick if anything he is mine

...Look at yourself, look at every character you interact with. Look at the relations between you and any aforementioned character, you're a sidekick.

 

 

He's a sidekick to a Mad Great Being, but I guarantee that everyone else is then sidekick to him

 

Considering her reaction to him in that teaser, I imagine Sirien is wondering what qualifies him as the sidekick. Probably because she loathes the idea of being sidekick to someone who can't read. =P

 

(I will laugh if a sub-plot is all the major characters squabbling for sidekick-to-Araina status.)

 

-Inferna