Toa Kovolta

You realize that the form of sonar used by that mask is echolocation? You can hear the baddies and the noises they make just aren't right.

I wasn't referring to sonar. Since it would basically be the same as looking at them anyway, you'd be "seeing" their forms through the echolocation.I had a character in Abyss who was blind and used his power over earth to feel through the earth and be aware of his surroundings.They wouldn't actually be able to understand what they look like and such. Just sort of, where they are and what they're doing.

I'm not sure how "can sense where they are and how they shift their weight" translates to "what they are doing." "Toph did it" doesn't fly here.

I guess that is a bit of a stretch, but my question is: if we made a character like that how, if at all, would the "insanity" affect them?Review of "Realm of Darkness" by Zombie Shark RagnarokFirst off, the font is very hard to read. Monotype is just not meant for prose, computer code only. Also, there are way too many colours. It's best to use black for everything save locations, factions and NPC's to match the elements, and avoid using large amounts of blinding yellow. Secondly, there are quite a few typos. Too many for me to want to point them all out. I would suggest giving it a read over to edit them. There is one place I will point out though, where you appear to be missing half a paragraph: "while at the same time preparing for a large incursion into". Into what?Thirdly, this is the field of shadows we're talking about right? The one that's completely devoid of light? How is it then, that every location is lit? I can understand if perhaps the Avohkii has some way of pushing back the darkness, but you don't mention this, and it's power would only be able to light the surrounding area.As for everything else, you've got some very good descriptions of locations and factions (though I'm not sure how we're supposed to make characters for the FS faction when we know so little about it, and you make it sound like anyone who is infected by the shadow is suddenly a part of this faction, this is ridiculous if they still have free will and a mind of their own), and some nicely constructed NPC's.All in all, the idea is good and you have lots of creative flow, but you need to work on your presentation.

You realize that the form of sonar used by that mask is echolocation? You can hear the baddies and the noises they make just aren't right.

I wasn't referring to sonar. Since it would basically be the same as looking at them anyway, you'd be "seeing" their forms through the echolocation.I had a character in Abyss who was blind and used his power over earth to feel through the earth and be aware of his surroundings.They wouldn't actually be able to understand what they look like and such. Just sort of, where they are and what they're doing.

Here's an interesting question. What if we have a blind character that relies on other senses and certain elemental powers to be aware of his surroundings?

It looks like, TiaM is going to do the same thing Techna did last round. Be everyone's third favourite and come out on top. Haha!Unless of course Techna is re-entered to take back that position.

Alright, I've made some changes/added info to TiaM, most prominently in the "Other" section, in response to questions and suggestions.

Trapped in a Map-Ok, so the banner is simple yet effective. I like it. The title of the RPG appears rather small underneath it, though. The introduction, while I've read it before, still caught my interest. It's funny how exclamation points make things more exciting! <- I see what you did there.How did my title get that small? I don't remember making it like that.Anyways, I'm glad that my intro is so effective! <- See what I did there?Story. Wow, simple and to the point. It makes the story section in Dreamland look enormous. Just imagine it sitting next to Elementum Nui 2.Factions. So, are all Toa of Plant Life sworn over to the worshippers so that all food goes through them? Or is it possible that there is some secret dude out there providing food on a major scale? Or would the Enforcers catch on too quickly and redistribute the food?It's possible, but probably only on a very small scale. Like you said, the Enforcers would catch on if it were too large, and also they wouldn't have very much space to cultivate large amounts of food.Map. Beautifully simple and yet fun to look at. I must say the cracks don't seem that menacing. Is there an edge to the map, where if you walk far enough it just ends. What happens if you go off the side? Gravity kicks in and pulls you to the other side of the map? Is there something on the other side of the map?I guess I'll have to take a look at those cracks to see if I can't make them look more dangerous. As for your other questions, see my modifications.Other. Ok, so if everything is slower in map, do the three flashes happen slower? Almost like solar flares, causing people to stay inside and perhaps sand to melt, maybe even crumble away the edge of the map?Hmmm, didn't think about this. I like your suggestion though. Again, see modifications.You say you only control the Carver, but what about Carmera? Carmera is be a character that I will rp as. But as with any character, staff will have power to "godmod" her. This is not the case with the Carver.And is there a set time that all this is happening? I ask this because Dreamland takes place when Makuta are good for the most part and the players should know this.Since so many people were asking when it's set, I have added this.Otherwise, I like this RPG and wouldn't mind seeing it win.Great! Thanks so much!

I'll try to get to some more reviews tomorrow. And maybe I'll even get to read some more of the entries! XPRealm of Darkness and Dreamland: Awakening are the only ones to which I owe return reviews correct?

@Loyd and TPtII would just like to jump in and say that the Abd Al Azrad mechanic is one of the things that attracts me to the game.If everyone knows who the spies are, then where's the fun? The point is to try and figure out who they are without any knowledge, meta game, of who they might be.

Review of "The Horde out of Limbo" by LloydFirst off, love the banner, even if it is just two images off of Google. It fits very well with the theme of the rpg, as does the quote underneath.The description is very well written and really hooks the reader in. Metru Nui is in quite the predicament. Though I do have one question, is it not possible to just sneak around in the shadows of the city or are there just too many of the monsters?Other than that, there's not much else to say that hasn't already been said. I do, however, agree with ToD about putting Ravel's Profile in the NPC section. Having it where is can lead to confusion as to whether it actually is a character that will appear in the rp or whether it's just something you whipped to as an example.All in all, I like it, even if the theme might not be my favourite. It's a story that really has a lot of places it can go, and that's a good thing for an rp to have.Good luck in the contest!Oh and I also noticed you still haven't corrected that shelding error.

Review #1Trapped on a MapBy Toa KovoltaLayout: Simple, short and sweet. Nothing to complain about at all.Story: Can you explain the time period the MU is in? Is Teridax dead? Is it in peace or war? The city also needs to be fleshed out some more. Was it made by the Worshippers? By the carver? When did the first people arrive? Why were the towers deemed unsafe? And how can one escape the city? Gliders? Tunnels?Background info aside, the premise is fine and originalLocations/Profiles: The locations are normal, for a small sandbox like this. Profiles are normal.Misc: N/A

Someone else asking about the time period eh? As I said before, I never really thought about it, but since so many people are wondering, maybe I should. I'll think about it and add it in later.As for the City, it's a mix of both carved into the map by the Carver, and built up by the inhabitants. And it's probably been over 1000 years since the Carver first started using the Map tablet.The towers were deemed unsafe because the Map is cracking and breaking around the edges.And you think I'm going to tell you how to escape the city? Think again! It's your job to figure that out yourself. ;)Thanks for the review, and pointing out a few of the things I need to add.

Trapped in a Map:This RPG sounds like lots of fun and the story and setting is very unique and creative. The mystery factor is still up there I would say and it seems the story concerning the carver, the map, etc. will unfold quite nicely as the game progresses (if it wins, that is). The gameplay is up to regular standards, same with profiles, rules and whatnot and I really look forward to playing this RPG if it wins.

Thanks for the review and the support!

Only one question: couldn't the Worshippers deprive everyone of water until the populace joined them?

Yeah, that's a possibility. At the moment, that's not how they're going about it. But once the game gets going, who knows what will happen. It would certainly lead to interesting gameplay.

Rules: I don't really see a need to tell what they're doing in your location/time stamp. That's what reading the post itself is for.

True. For this it's really whatever floats your boat. You don't have to put anything other than IC if you don't want to. This is just what I like to do myself, it gives a little reminder. One place where I could see it being useful is a dialogue only response to a post that's a page away. But again, like I said, whatever floats your boat.

As for awards, what are these "extras?" You need to tell us an example or two to motivate people to try and get them.

These would be things like extra characters and special items falling from the sky. I'll add that in there.Grammar Errors fixed.

All in all, quite promising. I'll be voting for this.

Good to hear! Thanks for the review!

The internet isn't yet up, no. Torch will probably have it up very soon, along with an announcement.

Alrighty, hopefully I'll be able to jump back in soon.

Sure you can play as a Judge! I have to agree, it would certainly be a most interesting character to play as.And as for when it's set, I hadn't really thought about it. Didn't think it would really have mattered, considering it's set inside a different dimension of sorts. But I think we can safely say it's sometime before the Great Cataclysm.Hoping to get that battery of PM's!

Ha ha! My appologies. I didn't play City of Ruins or Darkspace, so I didn't know.And yeah, should be fine. Though I still reserve the right to disprove any and all profiles I want of course .

Well, I have re-entered TiaM.Now time to re-rally the supporters!

YESYESYESYES FINALLY*ahem* I mean, good to know. Heheh. -ibrow

Ha ha!I didn't realize anyone was still that enthused about it!Thanks for the support!

My main reason to post here is comment addressed to Black Six - the biggest problem with the last contest was the ability to change your votes - has that feature been removed, or is it permanent for the forum?-Toa Levacius Zehvor

Oh my, I had completely forgotten about that whole kerfuffle, ha ha!I sure hope it has.

It appears my question was missed:

Is the internet still down from 50 pages ago, or did LL bring it back up?

And by the way Hubert, that is a brilliant idea!

Most of the Worshippers are, as you put it, in leadership positions. They control the rest of the populace through fear of the Carver and the control of resources. There are however among the populace, three main categories of people: those who firmly believe the ideology of the Worshippers, those who don't know what they believe and just follow under the rule of the Worshippers (these make up the majority), and those who rebel against the Worshippers.As for the City Law Enforcers, I was kind of thinking that when I choose some extra staff, one of them could make a character that would be the their Leader. But, we'll see how that goes.Ah yes, the tunnels, one of the more mysterious parts of the game. Anything can happen in the tunnels... Well, within reason. Like I said in their description, "the entrance is not the only exit", it's just the only publicly known one. There are probably tons of small holes in cellars, basements, alleys, etc. which hide entrances to the tunnels. If you look hard enough your bound to find one.There is one thing though, and I think I'll add this to my post. At a certain point below ground the "earth/rock" becomes a mysterious substance which is immune to the elemental powers of Toa. Something to do with the magic of the tablet.You said something about mask restrictions in your last review too if I recall correctly. The thing is, I like to group a lot of those kinds of rules under the form of "use common sense". It is obvious, through common sense, that if you decide to give your character an all powerful Ignika, so that he can bring everything around him to life to fight for him, it won't be approved. It's up to you to decide what seems reasonable using your common sense, and it's up to the staff to decide whether your common sense was right.Also, as you've shown in your example, it's not just what equipment/powers you have but how you use it/them. (I would actually say that the Kakama user in your example was GodModding.) If you give yourself a Tryna but say that (somewhat like in your example) your going to limit/reserve its powers so that dead people aren't popping up left right and centre, then there's a chance it will be approve. The same way that in the past people have chosen species that normally would not have been allowed, but they decreased their powers or changed their "personalities" ( for example, ToD's Makuta in "Shut", or even Hubert's Frostelus in "Techna").Anyways, that's just my opinion on specifying such rules. It always annoys me when someone puts a list of Kanohi and Species that are not allowed, it all falls under common sense.Thanks for the review!

Is the internet still down from 50 pages ago, or did LL bring it back up?

Hi guys!So what did I miss over the last 40 pages while I was busy with homework?

Well, I have re-entered TiaM.Now time to re-rally the supporters!

The Carver looked out his window at the crowd milling about in the market below. He carefully scanned the throng, checking out each Matoran, deciding which one he should choose. Finally, he settled on an Onu-Matoran with decorative gold shoulder armour.His choice made, the Carver activated his mask power. His eyes briefly glowed red as dozens upon dozens of names started to float above the heads of the Matoran in the crowd, visible only to the Carver. Silently, he sought out the Onu-Matoran’s among all the others. Finding it, he memorized it and bent down to write it down on the map carved into the tablet in front of him. The name flashed three times then dissolved into the stone.The Carver straightened and looked once more out the window. The Onu-Matoran, and his distinctive golden armour, was gone!

You are a citizen of the Matoran Universe, or, at least, you were. Now you are the victim of someone known only as the Carver, a sinister Toa who likes to “play” with beings like you. Your new home is simply called the Map, because it is a map, carved into a tablet by the Carver, and you are trapped inside. Now you must find a way to escape, or forever live with your destiny carved out by the Carver…

The WorshippersMostly made up of those who have been trapped in the Map the longest, they are the rulers of the City. They are so called, because they have given up on escape and believe that by worshipping the Carver, he will grant them an easier life in the Map. Many disagree with their way of thinking but must live under their rule because of their large sphere of influence. They control all distribution of food and water through the use of the City Law Enforcers.City Law EnforcersA sub-faction of the Worshippers, they are a large group of citizens, mostly big, tough ones, who keep order in the City according to the Worshippers’ rule. They either firmly believe in or have been convinced of the Worshippers’ ideology. Their two main tasks are to control the distribution of food and water throughout the city, and to subdue anyone who speaks out against the Worshippers’ Rule and the Carver, lest the Carver get angry.Other FactionsFactions may be created by players. This is highly encouraged, it will increase the fun in the game. They do not need to be approved, but if I don’t like the direction one is going, I will ask it to disband.All The RestAll those characters who do not agree with the Worshippers, or just don’t care about what goes on in the City, and are not part of a player made faction.

The CityA big city that occupies the most of the Map. It is completely enclosed by a tall, sturdy wall. There is only one gate in this wall, and it has been sealed due to the outlying land being called unsafe. The City houses (almost) all the inhabitants of the Map, and is therefore very busy and crowded. It was partly built carved out by the carver, but as more and more people arrived in the map, the inhabitants started to build it up more to accommodate the influx in population.The PalaceThe most prominent building in the City. It is the headquarters of the Worshippers. It is a large hexagonal building that is mazelike inside, and it rises high up over the surrounding buildings to look out over the whole city. It is surrounded by a low wall and is heavily guarded by the City Law Enforcers.The TempleThe second largest building in the city. It is a temple that has been dedicated to worshipping the Carver. It is a circular building consisting of one main floor and one turret. From above it looks a bit like the first letter of the Matoran alphabet, symbolizing that the Carver comes first above all else. Services are constantly being held in dedication to the Carver.The BarracksThe headquarters of the City Law Enforcers. A rectangular building located in the northeast corner of the city, this place crawls with the menacing figures. The basement consists of statis canisters where unlawful citizens are placed for certain amounts of time.The Royal GardensThe only gardens in the Map, as well as the only source of food. Workers cultivate this food and the Worshippers distribute it.The WellThe only source of water in the the City. Water is brought up from underground into the city via this well. Water can be gathered from here, but it is also distributed by the worshippers. Long lines can often be seen.The MarketThe busiest part of the City. Food and water is distributed from here. Venders gather from all over the City, trying to sell their goods, whatever they may be.The TunnelsA maze of tunnels under the surface of the Map, the entrance of which is just west of the Palace. Precious materials are mined from these tunnels, but many other beings and creatures roam these tunnels, and the entrance is not the only exit… However, it is important to note that at a certain point below ground the "earth/rock" becomes a mysterious substance which is immune to the elemental powers of Toa.The Outlying LandThe territory surrounding the city is flat and barren, inhabited mostly by Rahi. However, some beings who disagree with the ways of the Worshippers have found ways out of the city, in hopes of finding escape. It is deemed unsafe because the map is cracking and breaking around the edges.The Lake of LifeThe source of all water in the Map. It is a large lake in the northwestern corner of the Map. It’s water comes from underground and then flows off the edge of the Map through the two rivers: the River of Death and the River of Life.The Outcast TowersA group of tall structures in the southwest corner of the Map. They rise high above all other buildings in the Map, including the Palace and the Temple. They used to be the headquarters of the Worshippers, but were abandoned when the outlying land was deemed unsafe. Now they are mostly deserted, home only to rahi and rogue citizens.

Who are you? Have you given up on escape and now worship the Carver? Or do you still resent the Carver for trapping you in the Map? Or perhaps you’ve just arrived in the Map and still don’t quite know what happened?Whoever you are, you must submit a profile of your character in the profile topic. Be sure to include a detailed description of your character. All profiles must be submitted in the following format:

[b]Name:[/b] [Bionicle sounding][b]Gender:[/b] [male / female][b]Species:[/b] [any species is acceptable (including your own) within reason. if you are a toa or matoran or etc. please indicate your element][b]Affiliation:[/b] [Worshippers / City Law Enforcers / Other / None][b]Trapped:[/b] [have you been trapped long, or have you just arrived][b]Weapons/Tools:[/b] [be reasonable][b]Powers:[/b] [any other powers, again be reasonable][b]Appearance:[/b] [brief description or picture][b]Bio:[/b] [anything of importance of your character’s personality, goals, life, etc.]

Profiles must be reviewed and approved by myself or another staff member, if a profile is incomplete or does not follow the rules, you will be asked to fix the problems before you can start playing. As well, players are only allowed to have three characters to start.

The following are profiles of the Non-Player Character, which will be controlled by myself throughout the game to help the plot move forward, and add challenges for your characters to face.Name: The CarverGender: MaleSpecies: Toa (Element unknown, assumed to be stone)Affiliation: NoneTrapped: Not Trapped, but the Trapper.Weapons/Tools: Carving tools.Powers: (Elemental Power of Stone?) Mask of Shinigamieyes Namevision, allows him to see a being’s name above their head.Appearance: Unknown.Bio: He was once betrayed by one of his fellow Toa and ever since has had a rotten view of the universe. He traps people in his map and has fun “playing” with them like dolls in a dollhouse.Name: CarmeraGender: FemaleSpecies: VortixxAffiliation: Leader of the WorshippersTrapped: One of the first ever trapped.Weapons/Tools: A laser pulse pistol that she keeps at her hip at all times.Powers: Manipulative and quick witted. A silver tongue.Appearance: Tall, with spiky black armour with blood red highlights.Bio: Carmera was once a black market businesswoman. She is the one who sold the Carver the special stone tablet that the Map is carved out of, but she got greedy when she found out just how powerful the tablet was and asked for more money, confronting and threatning the Carver. When the Carver refused, she shot him with her laser pistol. Before it hit its target however, the Carver had speedily carved her name into the Map, transferring her and the laser pulse to the mysterious world.At fisrt she was determined to escape, but through the powers of the tablet the Carver attacked her every time she strayed out of line, once almost bringing her to death. With her newfound fear in the Carver, she turned to worship him so he wouldn’t bring his powerful wrath down on her again. Using her manipulative ways, she convinced many of the others, and there were now many, who were trapped to do the same.Now the edges of the Map are cracked and unstable, and the damage is moving closer to the city. She fears it’s some new form of the Carver’s anger, because there are so many newcomers who do not agree with the Worshippers’ ways. So she is cracking down harder than ever in her rule, which is causing even more conflict.

Recently more and more beings are being trapped, causing many disturbances in the City. Most of those recently trapped aren’t quick to submit to the rule and ideology of the Worshippers. Conflicts are breaking out and the City Law Enforcers can’t handle them all. The City is on the verge of breaking up.Write about your characters’ struggle to survive in this rugged world and the challenges they face as they try to achieve their goals.

Rules and guidelines to be followed at all times during the game:- BZP standard rules and guidelines.- Respect the staff and the other players.- Use IC (In character) and OOC (Out of character) when posting in the game topic.---> A good habit for when using IC, would be to also state the character’s name, where they are, what they are doing, and other character that may be nearby.---> ie. IC / the Carver / in his hut / carving into the Map:- When fighting other players be reasonable and take a hit once in a while.- Do not GodMod.- Do not kill other players.- Be reasonable when creating characters and in your IC posts.---> ie. No giving yourself super powerful Kanohi.---> ie. Don’t say you're at the Palace and then a second later you're at the Outcast Towers.---> ie. Don’t all of a sudden kill twenty NPC's.---> ie. etc.- Have fun! (Failure to comply with this rule is punishable by immediate banning! )Punishments:Please follow the rules so I do not have to use these.1. A warning.2. An injury or loss of a weapon or something. For example, loss of an arm.3. One character dies.4. All characters die, and player is banned for a week.5. Permanent Banning.Awards: I may give out extras throughout the game depending on how it goes. These would be things like extra characters and special items falling out of the sky.

Concerning the mechanics of the Map:- When the Carver traps someone in the Map:----> The person's name is carved into the Map, this can be seen happenning in the sky above the Map.----> The name flashes three times, both on the tablet and in the sky.----> The being then has a gut wrenching feeling as the world starts to spin and the start to disappear from where they are in the Matoran Universe.----> Their body slowly fades away and then slowly appears in the Map below where their name was carved.- Time in the map is slower than that outside of it.----> Because of this, it takes several posts for a name to be carved into the map.----> Also because of this, when the name flashes in the sky, it creates a bright light that lasts several minutes for each flash, making it really hard to look at the sky. If you're out in the open for too long when this happens, you will be temporarily blinded.- The Carver can trap any living creature in the Map, this includes Rahi.- In the world of the Map:----> The "ground" beneath it continues to infinity. There is no other side of the Map.----> The sky continues infinitely up. Just as the space around the Map and its infinite cliff does in each direction.----> Gravity pulls down perpendicular to the Map everywhere.----> There is a sun that creates night and day, by rotating around the Map at an angular axis.--------> It rises over the eastern cliffs and sets over the western cliffs.--------> It is night when the this sun is below the horizon of northern cliffs.Regarding Time:- This RPG takes place approximately 2000 years before the Great Cataclysm.- It has been a little over 1000 years since the Carver started trapping people in the Map in real time.----> Thats about 60,000 in the time of the Map.

- MyselfIf by sheer luck this RPG does win, I will request extra staff. Other staff members have all approving and punishment powers, etc. As well, I would like for these persons to create a characters to serve as the head of the City Law Enforcers and the like that they would rp as.

Thanks to all those who have supported, voted for, reviewed and provided suggestion for this RPG. Your help is much appreciated!

I do plan on entering. I have a perfectly good idea all planned out, but I will be unable to start drawing until this weekend due to to classwork.

They look pretty awesome! I really love all the details they've included!I would also just like to point out that to get the entire fellowship you're only looking at $172.96, not $302.95, as the Helm's Deep set is not required for this feat. (Of the fellowship, it only comes with Aragorn and Gimli, which can be acquired in Weathertop and Moria respectively.

Wow! That is one extensive slideshow! I can't imagine the amount of work that went into taking all those screenshots, sorting through them all and writing all those captions.I didn't go through it all very thoroughly, but you got a lot of great pics there, and some of captions just cracked me up!I also find it kind of funny, that I actually saw your SenseiWhoohoo character on that last day. I remember it cause I remember having a good laugh at the name.I also wish I'd gotten the chance to try one of those jetpacks, but alas I wasn't around for many of the giveaways. Looks like it really made it easier to get around. It would have been especially interesting exploring all those inaccessible areas such as "the Shelf" - a very interesting find btw!

Hubert: Right now, they are the only ones, which is why the Toa Techna are supposed to be looking out for new recruits.

Forcyte's mouth pulled into a tight grin. "I have been... following your work, Awk. Your configurations for our firewalls are exemplary. You could be promoted soon."-Shyyrn

... Oh wait... He's dead. XD . I guess he can't recommend me to Torch then.That and I guess you wouldn't want a hacker as part of the Toa Techna, . Though it would make for an interesting storyline.

No-one expects a Spanish Inquisition!

Good one Lev! Really had me fooled with that fake sig too.

By the way, whatever happened to that Takadox thing?