Toa Kovolta

OOC: Man this rp moves fast, every time I read a post, there are three new ones.IC / Awk / S&D / With Forcyte and Matra:Awk had obediently followed behind Forcyte, looking over the results of his scans as he went. He was now waiting paitiently with him and another Toa Techna, Matrapolix he thought his name was.

IC / Awk / CKC / Wandering the halls air-typing into his computer:%awk_ic% -> ssh awk@ckc.technapassword: ************connecting...now logged in as awklast login at 00:67:53 from 1.000.1007.3218%awk_ic%>>awk@ckc.techna -> lsREADME.txtawk.mclfind.mclawkMod.mclprunScan.mclpsave.mclplibrary/programs/settings/sFolders/virusLogs/%awk_ic%>>awk@ckc.techna -> ./runScan.mclp -vsainitializing scan...setting search criteria...scanning...^D>>./virusLogs/runScanResults.txttask backgrounded, results will be appended to ./virusLogs/runScanResults.txtAwk typed away at the air in front of him as he walked down a long corridor of the CKC, his internal computer responding to his every fingerstroke. His simple daily routines of scanning local files and folders wouldn't take long, and then he could get on to the interesting stuff. His current project was a firewall program to be placed around high security files. The program would protect them from all but the most stealthiest attacks, it would also however, make a copy of all interactions with the protected files and silently send them directly to a secure databank belonging to Awk.Awk continued down the corridor waiting for his scans to finish.OOC: No one's near the CKC are they?

Name: AwkGender: MaleSpecies: Toa of DataAppearance: Black under armour, Grey over armour. His mask is all translucent white, and looks sort of like a Kakama, but with a visor instead of two eyeholes.Kanohi: Kanohi Methodus, the Mask of AlgorithmsPowers: Elemental power of data, Power of the Mask of Algorithms( increases the ease in which he can find the solutions to problems, can analyze a set of algorithms for the same solution and determine which ones are most efficient).Weapons: His fingers.Implants: A brain implant which allows him to constantly see an internal computer "screen" as well as what his eyes can see, allowing him to multitask while still being fully aware of whats going on on his internal computer, this internal computer can also pick up on his finger movements allowing him to control it by typing in the air, swiping in certain motions, etc. An implant which allows his fingers to move at extremely high speeds, and increases their dexterity. His computer also has a built in wireless device that can connect to any nearby system uplink.Personality: Quiet, he keeps to himself and his computer most of the time.Alignment: Hackers - Though this is an extremely hidden secret as most of his actions seem to be pro Techna, Helping to stop certain viruses to keep up appearances.Bio:Transferred onto the ship from Spherus Magna about halfway through its Journey. He boarded the ship with the belief that the Technan's were wrong to take Mata Nui away from Spherus Magna, and that he had to turn the ship around to return the Mask of Life to where it belonged. He is a Master Programmer can find his way through a computer with ease. These skills helped him gain ranks within Techna, and got him a high profile job in the CKC. His main jobs are creating firewall programs and tracking down viruses in the system. Although at the same time, he is also using his skill to get important info from the system.

Woah! I'm gone for a day, and Techna already has over 10 pages!!!I better make a character quick, and read through the story before it gets too confusing for me to join.

Congrats to the winners!

Congrats to those who've made it through!And thanks to all those who voted for AoH. It was mainly just an experiment to see how a tournament rpg would be accepted, so I'm not upset it lost. Besides, there are so many good entry's going through! Can't wait to play Techna when if it makes it through.Expect to see the return of TiaM in three months!

And the game is on!Good luck to all the entrants! I know I'm going to have a hard time choosing who to vote for.

I know I said, I was going to do some reviews a few days ago, but I never got around to it, so here they are now (just gonna do some small ones):Review of "Island of Pain" by TPTII have to say I really like the names you've come up with, "Shepherds of Flesh", "Yawning Sunder", and all the other location names, are all great!The concept of the rpg is also very cool! A game of hunt or be hunted.You also do a very good job of describing the locations, and I especially love the character bios.All in all it's a great rpg, and I can't really find anything to disagree with.Review of "Knives in the Dark" by Lord DarkonAnother one where Makuta won, interesting. I have to say, I've never been a fan of rpg's that occur throughout the whole MU, It just seems like too vast an area. However your descriptions of the factions and locations are great and detailed, and I like that!Review of "Epoch of Despair" by EWI really like the first bit. Very well written. Actually, the whole thing is wonderfully written! Map looks good, though it reminds me a lot of Voya Nui. Locations are nicely described. And the story premise is very good!All in all It looks like a great rpg! However, you must tell me who this "Vacant" is, I've never heard of this member .

Oh yeah, you're right. Just looked it up, written by Larry Niven it won the Hugo, Nebula and Locus awards.Anyways, I just skimmed over The Mighty Fighty's entry, looks pretty interesting.

You're probably thinking of Discworld.

ToD just raised the BaR! [/stupidpun]Sorry, I had too. Will get to some more reviews tomorrow after my last exam!

Review of "Techna" by LegoloverFirst off, really love the theme! I'm a computer science guy, so a technological theme with coding and the like really hooks me in.Also, interesting choice of font, the monotype really emphasizes the theme.Intro:Hackers, viruses, sacrifices, a Toa of Plasma named Torch, brain implants... Sounds Great!History:A post storyline story, don't see many of those. I really like the rapid advancement in technology such as the S-toran. Ghost Program... intriguing.Techna:Looks good! though I would really love to see a map sometime soon.Just one thing here, When describing the Computer Knowlegde Centre (CKC) you use the term lower-left, not generally a term used when describing locations. Try southwest perhaps?Character creation:I really like how you integrate this into the story!One question though: if say I get bored of my body every two weeks or so, can I change it? Should work should it not. :PAbout the mask of time perception: I fail to see how this is any different than the mask of time itself... Time is only determined by our perception of it, thus time is perception. If I slow down my perception of time, am I not then slowing down time around me? Unless of course, all material objects such as our muscles still move at the same speed they normally would in which case, I fail to see the usefulness of such a mask.All in all looks like a great rpg, and I would definitely play it if it won!Review of "Bionicle: Mystery Voyage 2001" by ZorkelIntro:Nice way of incorporating it into the story.Districts:I like the use of greek letters(and how they somewhat correspond to their district, such as gamma - I assume because of gamma radiation?) and the various levels of clearance. The city seems well sectioned and I like how it's shaped in an octagon.Casinos:Do these play an important role in the game? If so, what?Citizens:Looks good.Factions:I find the name Big Brother very interesting.I like the mystery around this "Third Movement", although if players allowed to be part of this faction it would be kind of strange not knowing what their goal is...Forms and rules:Standard.Story Arcs:You don't often see this section in an rp. Gives us a little peek of what to expect in the game!Typos:In the very first paragraph, "by have no purpose", I'm assuming "by" should be "but".And there are several 21's in the mysteries section that should be 2001's.All in all, it looks good, though the setting has a high semblance to Techna imo. Big spaceship with a city in it, hacking, etc.

There is always the 0.000000000...0000000000000000001% chance of no one liking the capoyd's entry.

Agreed! It also means your not giving people enough time to review your entry, and thus you can't fix any problems it may have or tailor it to what they like.Which is why I posted mine as soon as the contest was up!

Actually technically, it's only entry 12, cause Levacious' only counts as one entry.

Not sure if I'm the only one who can see Parugi's hidden comments (since I'm using my own custom skin which doesn't have a white background), or if anyone else has noticed them too.

My stuff in red: No Masks of Time, Creation, Life, Dimensional Gates, Shadow, Light, or Emulation. Custom masks need to be approved.Peacekeeper Sect: Any kind of speciesMakutaria: All BoM associated beings (Unless I do not approve)Pohatu's Legion: Any kind of speciesCustom species need to be approved. Rules:1. Follow all BZRPG and BZP rules2. No goddmoding. No exception!3. Warnings will be sent if you disobey the rules. You only get three strikes. On the second strike, your character will lose many items. On the last strike, you will be banned from this RPG4. Have Fun!//Very interesting rp with many possiblities. I really like how it explores a known story that was never really concluded. All the story elements are good, though you might want to work on your spell check and sentence strucure in a few places.//Review of "Enemies of Justice" by Toatapio NuvaNice quote at the beginning.Intro:Love the setting! A nice little twist in there, in that Makuta is now sort of the good guy.End of fourth paragraph: "within thr universe" should be "the".Metru Nui:Everything seems to be guarded by Rahkshi, this phrase is a little too repetitive for my liking.Gameplay:Looks good.All in all, this rpg has a very interesting theme. However, it's missing a few things like rules and a character sheet.

Sorry if the format of this seems weird, I'm starting to get a little tired.Review of "Dreamland" by KalThe banner looks very nice!Intro:Very Intriguing! Overview:I really love how this is written. Sets up the rp perfectly!That last line is great!Summary:Seems very redundant. Says everything the Overview did, but in a less cool format.Gameplay:Have to lol at that "Or you can die"!Dreamland:Map looks alright. Might be nice to see some indication of elevation though maybe, just to show how the whole island slopes up towards the volcano.Really love this location! It's not the typical one you would normally see in an rp, and it's so full of mystery!Factions:Goals are clearly laid out. Lots of good choices here.Rules, Game Master:... yeah, what is there to say.Profiles:"it, non" .................................I notice, that the olmak is not on the banned list. Is that because, the teleportation scrambler would make it useless anyways?That's the first time I've seen a Weaknesses section in while, interesting.NPC's:"Swervarian" - ?Do Gerett's teleportation powers work inside the teleportation scrambler?Some very nice characters.Typo's:Beginning of the second paragraph, "laid" should be "lay".There was another one, but I forget what it was.All in all sound like a very good rpg! Very mysterious, you almost make me want to play just so I can find out what secrets it holds!

Sort of darn. I was looking forward to Trapped in a Map. Oh well, maybe next contest.Nice to hear! But yeah, I will definitely be reentering TiaM next season!Also, my review of Elementum Nui II is finished.

Review of "Elementum-Nui II - The Shadow Wars" by LevaciousFirst off, having not read or played the first one, this is all new to me. The following are my first impressions.History:That's a lot of history for an RPG. It's also a little confusing for someone who is reading it for the first time.I know you like your details, but is it really all necessary for what is actually covered in the game? Do we really need to know that there was some hero that died long ago? Will it really impact how we play the RPG I'm all for detailed descriptions and histories of made up worlds to accompany novels and such. However it just seems a bit much for an RPG description. In my mind all we really need to know is maybe the last era and important parts of parts of the other ones, like the power sources and other things that are important in current day.I appreciate how much effort you must have put into laying it all out, but I think it would work better maybe as a "for your general interest" sort of thing.Also, at the very end, "anybodies" should be "anybody's".Rules:All pretty regulatory. However, I think a lot of the stuff after the numbered rules need not be included, as most of it can be grouped under what is called using common sense. I know a lot of people don't know how to use common sense properly in an rp, but lets face it, any rp is going to have those problems anyway.Also the rules on characters would probably fare better to be put with the character sheet and stuff.Plague:The second quote is missing a quotation mark.Looks good! I really like the various classes of plagued beings you made. I also got a chuckle out of the oxymoron in the Babbler's description: "they retain intelligence, but are completely insane".World:That's a lot of locations, but I guess it is a large island. Descriptions look good. Definitely provides a lot of interesting places to rp.Map looks alright, easy enough to read. Though it would be nice to have some references for the tunnel map, and what do all the numbers mean?Allegiences:Second paragraph of Lunctus Castrum: "within his palace in the cities center" should be "city's". And on the second last line "Skakdi" appears twice.Who are these wanderers you are referring to in the Templum Tutera section?They all look good. Lots of variety, I like that.Character Sheet:Character sheet is pretty regulatory, though i think that's the first time I've seen a word minimum on the bio (not saying it's bad, just interesting).Equipment looks great. There's some very interesting stuff in there.All in all, looks like a very good story that would be fun to play as an rpg. It's just a lot to read for an rpg description.Good luck in the contest!

Wow, people are already posting favs. I'm really honoured that I'm on some of these lists, but there's still two more weeks left in the contest...Anyways, gonna try and get some reviews done now.

Yeah, but I did make it to the final poll in the next contest. However, I lost third to Gangs of MN by one vote. I did beat out Island of Pain in that one though.

Would just like to point out that in the above case, Early Days beat out TiaM, and tied for third with the Fall of Four and One, which is probably what you meant. Definitely not. Take a look at my post count, I'm not that much farther ahead of you, and i've been entering for a few years yet.

Thanks. I'll try to get a review of Dark mirror in soon. Thanks. About the plot, I was going for more of a sandboxy feel. True the tournament is the reason for the characters being in the city, and a lot of the story will centre around, but there could be so much more going on in the rest of the city, so many stories to explore. For example, the rigging of races and other sports mentioned in Sven's bio.Okay, made some changes to my entry. Added some more description to the locations, changed up the Tournament committee section to make it less confusing, and added some fields to the team form at the suggestion of Kal. I also realized that one team might have an advantage over another depending on the species of their goal-keeper, so I made a little change to the area of play section. Don't want a team to just put a Krekka as their goal-keeper and simply have them hover in front of the goal and cover it up completely.Now then, onto trying to read Elementum Nui 2...

Legend:Black: LevaciusPurple: KalGreen: MeFirst off, love the banner. If it's computer made, don't tell me - it's better off with me thinking it's some form of cool looking water color effect.Ok, first off, I am impressed by the banner. Very nice. Did you do that yourself?Thanks, it's just a little something I quickly whipped up in -close your ears Levacius- photoshop. Yeah I made it myself.The Comic Sans? Not so much. Arial, Times New Roman, Georgia, Tahoma, that two word one - Palintio Lynotype or something like that, too lazy to spell it right - those are the only ones I can take seriously. But I can get through this.Comic Sans, would not have been my first choice either, but I wanted to go with something that looked a little more handwritten for the letter, and Comic Sans is the closest we have on here.Secondly, everything is in quote boxes. I find this original and fresh, mostly due to the fact that everything is "quoted" and it actually makes sense for your story.Thanks. That's what I was going for.Now, the story. So you're basically being asked to some sort of tournament of this Akolhinii. You also aren't forced to participate, I like this, it gives characters more freedom, which is always a good thing. This letter didn't really grab me, but maybe that's because I had no idea what Akolhinii was my first time reading through.Yeah, I want the Tournament to be the focus of the RPG, but it can't be the only thing going on. There needs to be time for people to join and teams to form, and there needs to be stuff for people (who don't join until after the tournament starts) to do. So yeah, can't force people into the tournament, and freedom is always good in an RPG.The map is lovely. Though now that we're allowed to talk about gambling on BZP, the Stelt section of the epic I'm writing just about tripled in the number of ways I can write it. The areas aren't detailed as much as I like (I take every little detail and emphasize on it, which is often criticized in my writing of these things, so I guess that's probably a good thing) but they give me the general idea, and my minds eye sees the locations.The map is nicely done while still being basic enough and simple to read. The locations are described by their functions, not how they actually look. What does Certamine Urbem look like? Is it high tech? Does it look like Metru Nui but compacted and built more vertically? The descriptions satisfied me the first time through, but for this review I would like at least a little more detail in the locations.I knew I was missing something here! How could I have forgotten to describe the locations!? I guess maybe it's because I built this one up differently than my other ones. Whereas my others were built up around the locations themselves, I built this one up around the idea of the tournament. Thanks so much for pointing this out, I'll get some more detailed descriptions in there pronto. Akolhinii? So, took two sports and fused the names. Lets see how close it is to the other two.A lot of detail for a game. Of course, the game does appear to be the focus of the RPG.Akolhinii; you do very nicely in describing exactly what it is and how it is played. I enjoyed there being several types of staffs for use. The rules fit perfectly in with the flow.Thanks.Now, what is this committee thing? I don't quite understand that. Are you saying players will be able to fill the open slots?Ah, yes, I didn't spend that much time on this section. I understand how it's a bit confusing. I guess that's what happens when you try to layout an RPG as a part of the story itself, rather than in the regular layout.I was sort of trying to merge this with the RPG staff, but I can see it didn't work that well, i'll try to fix it up.Teams are tiny but functional.The profiles are simplified and feel like they fit in with the RPG. Same thing going for the Team Profiles. Although for those, do the teams get to choose a color (or colors) and a symbol for their team? You know, adding some customization.That's a good Idea!Have rules and a character sheet, everything required. All in all, it's pretty good. Would I vote for it? Probably not, just because I wouldn't personally much want to play a game within a game or a game about a game (Still will never understand Madden.) Would I play if it won? I guess it depends on time. How would I rate it? It's pretty good.Overall, this RPG flows well and appears well thought out. It's a tournament, and what can I say, I love tournaments! Although this one does not have you fighting more so as it has you competing. I'm not sure how I feel about how people might try to play the sport. But what do I know? Just because it's something I have not experienced before does not mean I should disapprove. And what I'm saying there is that to me personally, I don't find the main pull of this RPG (Akolhinii) to be appealing enough for me to vote for it.Yeah, I wasn't sure how the idea of a tournament, especially a tournament for a made up game, would be accepted.That basically concludes my review. I won't be giving star ratings until more RPGs are up (1 Star - 9 Stars, because nothing is 10 Star).Otherwise, this is a great RPG, good luck in the contest!Thanks for the reviews! I'll try to get some of my own up soon.