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SPIRIT

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  1. SPIRIT

    Ten Years Ago...

    By SPIRIT,

    Today is the day, folks. Ten years.
     
    Ten years since what?
     
    Ten years since SPIRIT was the undisputed WORLD CHAMPION of the Spinner Challenge on Bionicle.com!
     
     
     
    Let me set the stage... *old timey projector sound and radio voice*
     
    The year was 2006. In the twilight days of the Hordika storyline, LEGO released a pretty simple online game where the Toa Hordika would battle each other with Rhotuka. It was one of those "choose an attack site and choose a defense site" type games. Zero skill. Complete luck. And the best strategy to win is just to play as many games as possible.
     
    As luck would have it, I was sick and had to stay home from school the day the game came out. Within a matter of hours, I was crowned World Champion by my persistence and ability to click menu buttons in a Flash game. I saved that screenshot for an occasion such as this.
     
    I am no longer the world champion. My day has come and gone. But at least I know that for a very brief moment, I used to be the very best... like no one ever was...
     
     
    But wait, why is your LEGO username "BackCap"?
     
    Ah yes. That is another tale for another day.
     
    This is former Spinner Challenge World Champion SPIRIT signing off.
     
    (Also if you need me to promote your breakfast cereal or sports drink, I'm totally up for it.)
  2. SPIRIT

    Star Wars Cartoon Ideas

    By SPIRIT,

    X-Rey and Finn
     
    They're best of buds who fly through space
    As Padawans, they fight for good
    They're awesome guys who kick Sith in the butt!
     
    X-Reeeeeeeeeeey and Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinn
     
    She's a desert orphan, a scrap dealer, and might know some kung-fu
     
    X-Reeeeeeeeeeey and Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinn
     
    He's delightfully sweaty, a traitor to evil, and cares how you feeeeel
     
    X-Reeeeeeeeeeey and Finn
     
     

    ~Alternatively~


     
     
    Star Wars Time
    Star Wars time
    C'mon grab your droids
    We're going to a galaxy
    Far far away
    With Rey the Jedi
    And Finn the Trooper
    The fun will never end
    Star Wars Time
  3. SPIRIT

    Beards

    By SPIRIT,

    It's hard to believe that it was just over two years ago that I decided to become a full-time bearded man. There's a surprisingly deep subculture surrounding the grooming of one's facial hair, I've learned.
     
    Before committing, I made the conscious decision to look at what other men were doing and pick and choose what I wanted for my own face. One of the things I learned from this is that different men have different bald spot patterns on their face. So a beard like Jafar's might just grow like that naturally rather than being the product of careful shaving.
     
    Another thing is moustaches. Some people have a large canvass of hair follicles for moustache growth (see also Tom Selleck), whereas others do not. It seems to me unless you can grow a Selleck-esque moustache, you're probably better to go with at least a goatee if not the full beard. The ol' pencil moustache just ain't cutting it these days (especially if you wear those giant glasses from the 1970s -- I think that gets you immediately arrested).
     
    And don't think you can cheat the system by going with no moustache. That's right, Amish people. A moustache on its own looks good, a moustache and beard looks good, but a beard without a moustache looks awful. Obviously no Amish people are reading this, but if you see any Amish people, let them know I think their practice of going moustache-less is very silly. (As well as their reasoning for it, but you can look that up on your own time).
     
    Now what else...
     
    A good beard is well-trimmed around the edges. Make sure you shave off those stray cheek hairs and your neck. Probably follow the jaw-line for that. That's a good rule of thumb. I notice a lot of guys don't do that, and once you go past a certain length, it just doesn't look good. A jaw-line beard really adds definition to your face.
     
    And then there's women with moustaches. Hate to break it to you ladies, but if men have to groom our facial hair, you definitely have to groom yours. Yadda, yadda, beauty on the inside, but it takes like two seconds and makes the world of difference.
     
    Personally, I do the full beard to the jawline, and I think my ideal length is somewhere around 3/8 inch, but it is fun to grow it out every now and then to feel a little regal.
     
    How about you guys? What's your facial hair situation?
  4. SPIRIT
    The day was December 25th, 2002; Christmas Day, if memory serves.
     
    A 12 year old boy who was not yet known as SPIRIT online received Pokémon: Crystal Version as a gift from his parents under the guise of Santa Claus (in order to fool his younger sister into believing that magic and wonder were real). This boy had already played Gold and Silver Versions. Why did he then ask for Crystal, which was effectively the exact same game with only a few changes? Certainly not even he knows...
     
    Regardless, this young boy could not have known the quest he would be sent on because of this so called "gift". Or was it perhaps...
     
    A CURSE?!
     
    For little did the Boy-Who-Would-Be-Called-SPIRIT know, but one of the new features in Pokémon: Crystal Version was a Battle Tower.
     
    "Gadzooks!" eclaimèd he. For where once there had been a sparse rock-face on the 40th Route of the Region of Johto, there now stood a mighty edifice stretching for the sky, as if to mock Arceus himself. "Perchance I shall return anon upon the completion of mine main campaign storyline," said he prior to embarking upon a seaworthy Pocket Monster and traversing the seas of the 40th and 41st Routes of the Johto Region.
     
    And yea did he return upon the completion of his main campaign storyline. Spake he to the smartly-dressed attendant who said unto he: "thou shalt bringeth with thee only three Pokémon. No more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt bring, and the number of the bringing shall be three. Four shalt thou not bring, neither bring thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out."
     
    "Fair maiden," replièd he. "Thou shouldst not fret thineself, for verily I say unto thee: I am the Master of the Monsters of the Pocket. Upon mine breast are pinned one score less four badges from the regions of Johto and Kanto. I have defeated the Team of Rockets, the Four who are Elite, and the man who calls himself Red. All have fallen to me and my power, as they shall again this day."
     
    And so the Boy-Who-Would-Be-Called-SPIRIT chose his mightiest Monsters of the Pocket. Their names and species are lost to history, but the chronicles are quite clear about the use of a Typhlosion (because let's be honest, Fire Types are best types).
     
    The Boy-Who-Would-Be-Called-SPIRIT charged into battle with his loyal beast at his side. His Typhlosion that he had raised from a tiny Cyndaquil. His Typhlosion who had been by his side battling every trainer in the game. His Typhlosion who had never lost a fight.
     
    His first opponent sent out a Miltank.
     
    "Ah yes, the Tank of Mil," scoffed the Boy-Who-Would-Be-Called-SPIRIT. "My old foe. I have seen your kind before. I know your allegiance to the one called Whitney. I was not afeared then and I am not afeared now! Go! Typhlosion! Use Flamethrower!"
     
    But his opponent simply said, "Miltank! Use Surf!"
     
    It was all over in a matter of seconds. The Boy-Who-Would-Be-Called-SPIRIT had never seen a Miltank so swift. His entire team of champions were taken down by a simple cow. He vowed his revenge that day. He would not be bested by a cow. TYPHLOSION WOULD NOT BE DEFEATED IN VAIN.
     
     
    Many years would pass and with them, many more Pokémon games would be released, each with its own Battle Tower or an equivalent. Try as he might, The Boy-Who-Was-Finally-Called-SPIRIT failed time after time after time. Every time victory would seem within his grasp, the A.I. would come up with some trick or scheme to pry victory from his grasp.
     
    Eventually, he would learn the existence of the Values of Effort, the Values of the Individual, and the Smogon University Overused and Uber Tier Lists of Pokémon. Yet even with this knowledge it was not enough.
     
    He came close in 2011, when he beat the Battle Subway in the Doubles competition using a rain-based team, but the victory felt hollow. Drizzle Politoed was a very cheap strategy and spamming Surf constantly was no fun. Plus, the true test was to win the Singles competition, not these new fangled Double Battles.
     
    But he did not give up hope.
     
    At long last, a beacon of light in the darkness: Pokémon: Omega Ruby Version made breeding Pokémon a breeze. Improved breeding mechanics, move tutors, and an infinite cycling path just outside the Daycare. This was it. If it was going to happen, it would be here.
     
    It took time to find a well-balanced team, but at long last a team of an Eelektross, a Gengar, and an Aggron holding some Aggronite began to show some promise. Sure, they had their issues losing to unlucky Random Number Generation (one battle they all died to Swagger. SWAGGER!), but they seemed to achieve victory more surely than any other team SPIRIT had used.
     
    Then came the fateful night.
     
    SPIRIT should have been studying for exams, but he had no idea he would get this far. He got past all the trainers, even the one with Legendaries that sometimes appears unfairly at Rank 42. Then he beat Rank 49. He tried not to get too excited. He had been here before and lost many a time. The Battle Chatelaines used powerful Legendary Pokémon and had a surprising amount of luck on their side. Now was not the time for mistakes...
     
     
     
    The battle lasted a mere 5 turns.
     
     
     
     
    And when the dust settled...
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    HE HAD WON!
     
    TEN TRILLION POINTS TO GRYFFINDOR! THE DEATH STAR BLEW UP! THE FIRELORD LOST HIS BENDING! MAKUTA GOT MOONED!
     
    Where once sat a man on a couch now sat a true Pokémon Master... on a couch. So impressed with his battling prowess, were the Non Player Characters, that they erected a monument in SPIRIT's honour in the Battle Maison lobby. And trainers from all around would look at it and say, "that's Phil's boy! That's right!"
     
    And with that, his 13 year long quest had ended. He had finally beaten a Battle Tower on Singles (or its most recent equivalent). The Typhlosion from Crystal had long since been deleted when the game cartridge's internal batteries died, but now its spirit was at rest.
     
     
    And all was well.
     
     
     
     
     
    tl;dr beat the Battle Maison on Singles. Check it out, yo: ML8W-WWWW-WW3X-8SBV
  5. SPIRIT

    CIV VI

    By SPIRIT,

    Video games industry.
     
    Guys.
     
    I have my final exams when you're releasing all these games.
     
    Have mercy.
     
     
     
     
    Speaking of which, anyone here play Civ V?
  6. SPIRIT

    Underwater Thief

    By SPIRIT,

    So I'm watching the newsfeed at the bottom of the TV broadcast when I see this headline about an Underwater Thief being caught. Which, really, is just about the coolest way to steal something.
     
    But then I looked again and it actually said Underwear Thief. Much less cool.
     
     
    So would that be a reverse Freudian Slip?
  8. SPIRIT

    Dear Autocorrect

    By SPIRIT,

    Dear Autocorrect,
     
    Whilst I appreciate your wide array of word suggestions, never have I ever, nor will I ever mean to start a sentence with the abbreviated forms of Hawaii, Indiana, or Ohio. So when I start a sentence with "Hi", "In", or "Oh", for goodness sake, why do you keep correcting them to "HI", "IN", or "OH"?!?!! Why would anyone want that? Do you seriously expect me to believe that more people talk about the state of Hawaii than greet each other?!
     
    Yours Sincerely,
     
    Typing on touchscreens is hard, otherwise I'd turn you off and never look back
  10. SPIRIT

    Skull Grinder in 2012?

    By SPIRIT,

    So I'm playing LEGO: Lord of the Rings (because there was a Steam sale a while back and because I am the Lord of Procrastination), when I notice something strange.
     
    I turned on the Red Brick for Boss Disguises (which adds silly things to the bosses in the games), and then I fought Sauron.
     
    Gameplay shot.
     
    Cutscene.
     
    He's totally Kulta the Skull Grinder! See? Not only do they have golden masks with long spikes coming out the top, but they both carry giant black and orange maces! And this isn't a new game, it came out in 2012. That was 3 years ago (incidentally, today is its third anniversary, Wikipedia tells me). That was during the heyday of Hero Factory.
     
    Do you realize what this means?!
     
    LEGO plagiarized... itself!
     
     
     
    I'll call the cops.
  11. SPIRIT

    Which Pokémon Version?

    By SPIRIT,

    So here's something I've wondered for the past decade. Do people pick the same sort of games in a Pokémon version pair? E.g. Does everyone who picks Red Version always pick Gold Version? I'm not asking if you have the games, I just want to know which you'd pick given the choice between them.
     
    Red or Blue?
    Gold or Silver?
    Ruby or Sapphire?
    Diamond or Pearl?
    Black or White?
     
    Oddly enough, I always pick the first one in the pair (Red, Gold, Ruby, Diamond, Black) for no discernible reason. How about you?
  13. SPIRIT
    I just thought of something today. As certain technologies, like text to speech and dictation programs, get more advanced, will our society someday evolve beyond the need for literacy? What do we even use literacy for these days anyway?
     
    -Reading signs.
    -Sending letters and emails.
    -Reading and writing books, articles, magazines, etc.
    -Chatting online.
     
    As computers become more and more advanced, a lot what is written could instead be dictated to a computer, which would then filter out the stuttering, pauses, and mistakes and turn it into a more polished version which could then be transmitted to other computers that would play the message. For signs, autonavigation systems in your cars or hovercrafts would be doing all the driving anyway, so you wouldn't have to worry. When chatting with multiple people at once, a feed of various sound bites appears, which you can select one at a time to prevent everyone from talking at once as well as offering you the option to replay their messages.
     
    Am I missing something or could this be our next technological leap?
  15. SPIRIT

    My Next Project

    By SPIRIT,

    I think that a good sign for anyone working on anything that's intended to be funny is when you can look at your own work and laugh. This was the case with BIONICLE Under 2 Minutes and it is is the case with the project I started today.
     
    Why am I making this entry? To tease you and to maybe make some sort of virtual monument to force myself to stop procrastinating on this.
     
    Here are a few vague tidbits of information:

    It will be funny. It will be made in Flash. It's not a PSA. It's not another X in Y minutes. It has nothing to do with BIONICLE. Let the speculation/frustrated groaning commence!
  16. SPIRIT

    Got Tickets for Star Wars

    By SPIRIT,

    Got tickets for Star Wars for this coming Wednesday. Great seats (that row just in front of the aisle between the front section of seats and the rest, so extra leg room). In the meantime, I'm doing a full series rewatch with my family.
     
    So far I remain largely unspoiled, but Wednesday is very far away.
     
    Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of spoilers, I shall fear no evil...
  19. SPIRIT
    So I actually had a really good April 1st, but I worry that no one will believe me.
     
    The day began with an interview with the voice of Umarak. That guy is a total riot. I don't want to spoil too much from that interview, but it's definitely worth listening to when it comes out in a few weeks.
     
    Then I had an amazing game of Civilization: Beyond Earth -- Rising Tide wherein the massive Korean navy totally demolished anything it ran into. The Americans were destroyed by giant lobsters.
     
    And to cap things all off, I won first prize in a Harry Potter trivia contest.
     
     
    All in all, it was a very good day, just not a good day to have it on.
  20. SPIRIT

    My Ideal Squirrel

    By SPIRIT,

    This is what people are doing in the blogs these days, right?
     
     
    My ideal squirrel would be an eastern grey squirrel with a black coat. It would have a thick, bushy tail, and it would be able to bring me snacks or grab things from across the room that I'm too lazy to get myself. He could live in the tree in my yard and attack trespassers with acorns.
     
    Then when people complain, I could just say:
     
    "Wow, a squirrel threw an acorn at you? That's nuts!"
  21. SPIRIT

    Sugar, Spice

    By SPIRIT,

    Sugar...
     
    Spice...
     
    And plastic pellets...
     
    These were the ingredients chosen to create the perfect little Toa.
     
    But Professor Artakha accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concotion -- Energized Protodermis
     
    Thus, the Toa Nuva were born!
     
    Using their elemental powers, Tahu, Gali, Lewa, Kopaka, Onua, and Pohatu have dedicated their lives to fighting crime and the forces of Makuta!
  23. SPIRIT
    Calling all operatives of the Collective Alliance for the North American Domination Aspiration (C.A.N.A.D.A).
     
    Everything continues to go according to our designs and those living in the United States suspect nothing. The operatives placed within BZPower (particularly our operative who has been promoted to administrator) are continuing their functions as usual and we are working to embed ourselves deeper into the website. Now proceeding to initiate plan Sigma Tiger-Shrimp 24.
     

    *** What was that all about, you ask? Well, well, let me give you a brief history lesson.
     
    Ever since the war of 1812 ended in 1815, a secret cold war has been brewing in Canada against the United States. Their larger population and warmer climate meant that a military defeat would be out of the question, so a more subtle conquest was undertaken. Over nearly two hundred years, we worked in secret to slowly bring about our plans. Secret operatives, government conspiracies... it won't be long until your country belongs to us and no one suspects a thing.
     
    If this is true, though, why would I be telling you? Well, it's simple. I present the idea to you publicly that Canada is plotting against the States, but do it in a fashion that makes it appear as though I'm either joking or insane so that you'd think that such a thing is completely outlandish. Then I'll explain the possibility of this to you and you won't know what to think.
     
    Allow me to further the illusion by listing some of our key operatives and the contributions they have made to the cause.
     
    Joe Shuster: Artist and co-creator of Superman. He popularized comic book superheroes and turned millions of Americans into nerds. Why, without him, there would be no BIONICLE comics and therefore less of you would have come to this website. Also made you believe that superpowered aliens from Krypton were fictional. By increasing the nerd population, he turned millions away from sports and social interactions, reducing the number of people able to get married and have children, let alone defend themselves from an attack.
     
    Dr. James Naismith: The inventor of basketball. He created what would become a multi-billion dollar industry, syphoning off your money to certain sectors of the economy for our purposes.
     
    Jim Carrey: Made thousands of Americans look like morons when they tried to imitate the characters he plays in movies. Also, little known fact: there were no special effects used in Bruce Almighty, that was all him...
     
    Alexander Graham Bell: Inventor of the telephone. Sure, the device has changed over the years, but your don't think that the original inventor of the phone wouldn't have built in some undetectable way for us to record your calls?
     
    Willard S. Boyle: Co-inventor of a key component to all digital cameras. Made photography accessible to the masses and made it possible for any American to upload their pictures, giving us access to a plethora of visual data.
     
    Colin Mochrie: Popularized improv on Whose Line is it Anyway and in turn gave rise to many terrible amateur drama productions, turning American youth away from getting degrees in subjects that actually had paying jobs behind them and instead deciding to major in drama and theatre.
     
    Avril Lavigne: Popularized/revived the goth/punk look. I think this one speaks for itself...
     
    William Shatner: The famous star of the first Star Trek, he increased the nerd population.
     
    Hayden Christensen: Gave a subpar performance in the new Star Wars movies, for some ruining their childhood and for others continuing to increase the population of nerds.
     
    James Cameron: Made the most successful movies of all time, not only syphoning off more of your money, but also popularizing 3D so that EVERYTHING is in 3D now, all for the goal of making you sick and dizzy while watching movies, and making you believe that Unobtainium is difficult to obtain and that you have to go to another planet and kill millions to get it. We've got tonnes of it.
     
    David Suzuki: Fooled you all into thinking that we aren't committing acts of ecological terrorism against you by heating up the planet and that instead its your fault for buying SUVs.
     
    Justin Beiber: Hypnotized your young girls and enraged just about everyone else. He is one of our top operatives.
     
    Retirees: Many retirees in Canada move to Florida, so they can easily export oranges without being noticed. The use of these oranges? To prevent our extensive navy of iceberg-shaped ships from scurvy... they're also delicious.
     
    The majority of the population: Ever wonder why most Canadians live along the US border? Simple. The notion that Canada has a limited military is a myth. Those living along the border are the military. They sit on what will soon become the battle lines while your population is spread about the country and concentrated on the coasts. At a moment's notice, they will be ready to invade, while you will not.
     
     
    Well, those are only a few of the operatives working for our cause and I'm sure any Canadians could name many more. And so, fellow Canadians, let us hope that this "false" revelation of our plans succeeds in further throwing the Americans off our scent. Let us continue to communicate using our slightly different system of spelling to pass along secret information, and the best of luck to all your ventures, eh?
  24. SPIRIT

    Titles

    By SPIRIT,

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
     
    I mean, they're asking me for the information. How do they know I'm not Cardinal SPIRIT?
  25. SPIRIT

    Survey 2

    By SPIRIT,

    Okay, so checked the results and it looks like everything's staying the way it is.
     
    Onto the next round of questions!
     
    1) What are members?
     
    (Go wild on this one, but here's an idea to get you started; let me know whether or not you like it.)
     
    Hapori Tohu – Great Spirit
    Admins – Makuta (Good Makuta that haven't banished their light and don't plan to take over the world)
    Global Moderators – Adaptive Armour Toa Nuva
    Forum Leaders – Toa Nuva
    Forum Assistants – Regular Toa
    ----- (Above this line, members get a Suva, below it they do not) -----
    Forum Mentors – Regular Toa
    News Reporters – Toa Hagah
    Reference Team – Toa Inika
    Blog Assistants – Toa Mahri
    OBZPCs – Copper Mask wearing Matoran
    Members – Matoran
    Emeritus Staff – Turaga
     
    2) How does BIONICLESector01 work?
    a- It's located in the spot on Affili Island.
    b- Separate island on a different map.
    c- Not part of the canon.
    d- Other.
     
    3) How does BIONICLE.com work?
    a- Separate island on a different map.
    b- Not part of the canon.
    c- Other.
     
    4) Is there anything else that you can think of that has not been mentioned?
     
     
    P.S. In defence of regular members being Matoran since some of you might find that a bit lame, might I remind you that the Voya Nui resistance nearly kicked the Toa Nuva's butts.
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