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SPIRIT

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Blog Entries posted by SPIRIT

  2. SPIRIT

    The Facts

    By SPIRIT,

    So I've been compiling some information, and I think I've stumbled upon something big.
    Even for someone working at a Lego design shop, Swert has an inexplicably extensive access to Bohrok-Kal parts
    Swert recently acquired a WMKK
    Swert is obsessed with the Nuva Cube
    Swert's OC's element is Gravity
    Swert is a known associate of the voice of Gahdok
    Swert himself is the voice of Tahnok

    Quite obviously the Swert you know is none other than Swert-Kal!
     
    WAKE UP, MAHIPLE!
  3. SPIRIT

    Have you prepared?

    By SPIRIT,

    I just want to make sure that everyone here has a secret password ready just in case they travel back in time and need to convince their past selves that they are from the future.
     
    A good Future Password would be something that you have never told anyone, impossible for anyone to guess, and that would give you the greatest flexibility in terms of time travel (i.e. the earlier this password would work on you, the better). My own password, for instance, would let me convince all past iterations of myself up to 1995.
     
    Be especially careful about the first two rules. If there's even a tiny chance that someone could guess your password, that defeats the whole purpose. Because it is more likely that you will be a victim of an elaborate ruse than future you actually travelling back in time, you have to make sure your password is something no one else could ever know (I mean, this is just standard preemptive inductive reasoning, guys).
     
    Now some naysayers out there might be wondering why you even need a password at all. Surely you could just be like the guy from a Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court and predict some future event to show everyone you're telling the truth. Well that's a horrible plan! First of all, in the time all of you have been alive, we know how to predict eclipses and other astronomical events, so you aren't convincing anyone with that shtick. Plus, how many of your have memorized recent history? Unless you're an autistic savant, you're going to have to sit around for a while waiting for an event you remember to transpire. Complete waste of time.
     
    If you can't think of something past you would know that know one else knows, then may I suggest making a Future Password now? Who knows, a future version of you could be spontaneously appearing right about... now.
     
    ... now.
     
     
    .... now.
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    ... now.
     
    Dangit.
  4. SPIRIT

    Re-Posting Complete

    By SPIRIT,

    Took a few weeks, but everything people have asked me to re-post that I had archived has been re-posted.
     
    Apologies to @fishers64 because I did not think to save Mata Nui's Performance Review and to @meglatorian because not only did I not save The Three Bohroketeers, but I completely forgot I wrote it! If anyone happens to have those topics backed up, I'm sure both they and I would be very grateful to get to read them again.
     
    Also to note, there are still a few stories in my own private archive. They're largely earlier work or stuff that didn't get an overwhelming critical reception, but I could be persuaded to re-post them if anyone really wants to read them.
     
    Anyway, now that that's out of the way, maybe now I can focus on making new stuff.
     
    Stay tuned.
  9. SPIRIT
    Simple enough entry. Should I re-post my old content?
     
    Is that the done thing? Is this hip and with it? Is that what all the kids are doing?
     
    Obviously, I've got a few things that a probably best left in the mists of Internet obscurity, but I've got a fair bit of content that I'm still pretty proud of. Tell you what, if people request it, I'll re-post it.
     
    Incidentally, if anyone happens to have an archived copy of chapters 14 onwards of the spoof I did of The Legend Reborn, I would be eternally grateful if you could send that my way.
     
     
    tl;dr What old content (if any) should I re-post and does anyone have a copy of The Awesomest TLR Spoof?
  10. SPIRIT

    Hey

    By SPIRIT,

    I have slept for so long.


     

    My dreams have been dark ones.


     

    But now I am awakened.


     

    Now the scattered elements of my being are rejoined.


     

    Now I am whole.


     

    And the darkness cannot stand before me.


  11. SPIRIT
    Some of you manly men might wonder why My Little Pony has exploded onto the male-dominated Internet. Allow me to explain in relatable terms:
     
    Remember that episode of Arthur where everyone starts watching the Love Ducks? This is that.
     
    On that note:
     

     
    That is all.
  12. SPIRIT

    Dear J. R. R. Tolkien

    By SPIRIT,

    Dear J.R.R. Tolkien,
     
    Stop giving your characters so many names. It's confusing, annoying, pointless, and it makes me not want to read your books. If his name is Aragorn, just call him Aragorn; none of this Son of Arathorn, Dúnadan, Longshanks, Strider, Wingfoot, Elessar Telcontar, Envinyatar, Estel, or Throngil nonsense. You pick a name and you stick with it. He maybe gets one or two other names, but this is ridiculous.
     
    And another thing. What's with giving the two main villains essentially the same name? You don't see how this might be extremely confusing? I mean, come on, you made up over twenty languages and the best you can come up with is Sauron and Saruman? Or did you use up all the good ones by giving Aragorn TWELVE DIFFERENT NAMES?
     
    Don't even get me started on the multiple names the other characters get.
     
    Make sure to avoid this next time you reinvent an entire genre of literature.
     
    Ever yours,
     
    SPIRIT
     
    P.S. Merry is a girl's name.
     

    -------- Dear Peter Jackson,
     
    Great job on avoiding so many of Tolkien's errors. Send my regards to composer Howard Shore who is responsible for 90% of the films' success.
     
    Ever yours,
     
    SPIRIT
     

    -------- Dear J.K. Rowling,
     
    You are a genius.
     
    Ever yours,
     
    SPIRIT
  14. SPIRIT

    Voting By Mail

    By SPIRIT,

    So as I am still in France and Canada's got a federal election coming up, I got a mail-in ballot sent to my apartment. Turns out that to send it in, I put my ballot in an envelope, in an envelope, in an envelope. It's like Inception by mail!
  15. SPIRIT

    My Next Project

    By SPIRIT,

    I think that a good sign for anyone working on anything that's intended to be funny is when you can look at your own work and laugh. This was the case with BIONICLE Under 2 Minutes and it is is the case with the project I started today.
     
    Why am I making this entry? To tease you and to maybe make some sort of virtual monument to force myself to stop procrastinating on this.
     
    Here are a few vague tidbits of information:

    It will be funny. It will be made in Flash. It's not a PSA. It's not another X in Y minutes. It has nothing to do with BIONICLE. Let the speculation/frustrated groaning commence!
  17. SPIRIT

    Funny T-shirts

    By SPIRIT,

    I used to wear funny t-shirts all the time, but eventually stopped after getting tired of people trying to one-up my shirt's joke. For instance, wearing a camo shirt that says "You can't see me" and having everyone you meet come up to you and say "hay i can c u ololololol" gets old fast.
     
    Anyone else have this problem? People ruining funny shirts for everyone?
  19. SPIRIT
    Synesthesia
     
    Does anyone have this or know people who do? Up until I was twelve, I thought I was the only one, but then I read about it in a book and I realized that other people think just like I do. I think I'm the only person in my family to have it, but my dad says he has it a little -- not to the extent that I do, though.
     
    In particular, I have Ordinal linguistic personification and Grapheme–color synesthesia.
     
    I recommend you read (or skim) the Wikipedia articles I've linked and then we can discuss this psychological oddity we share. If you'd like, tell me what colour or personality certain letters, numbers, days, names, months, or music notes have and then I can tell you how wrong you are.
  20. SPIRIT

    I Had A Lucid Dream!

    By SPIRIT,

    It was so exciting. I was napping and I fell into the wonderful crack between dreaming and knowing you're dreaming. I also developed, what I now realize in hindsight, was a totem from Inception. Granted, it's not a very good one. When I was dreaming, I was able to hear an odd cover of The All American Rejects' song Gives You Heck and then when I was awake, it would stop. It was really weird, though, because the song would keep cutting out intermittently as I drifted between consciousness and unconsciousness and I'd notice that there were parts of it missing. Unfortunately, my mind got the totem confused and thought that the song was real and that silence was part of the dream, so I lost the state and woke up.
     
    Ah well, it was good while it lasted. I unfortunately didn't get to make good full use of it, but I did have a nice game of Laser Tag using death lasers before it ended.
  21. SPIRIT
    Here is how I would take over the world.
     
    Now, the problem with most world domination plans is that you have to be in charge of some sort of army or government. Since becoming a general is pretty risky and it's a real hassle to go through all the time and money required to successfully run for office, really the only way for anyone to easily rise to power over others is to become the chump husband of some monarch.
     
    Then I had a thought...
     
    Oh! Wait a minute! Wait a minute! SPIRIT? What if you were the chump husband? Okay, you marry the princess, all right? Then, uh, you become sultan!
     
    Marry the shrew? I become sultan... The idea has merit!
     
    Yes, merit! Yes! And then we drop papa-in-law and the little woman off a cliff! YEAAAAAAAAAAAA Kersplat!
     
    Step 1: Marry the shrew
     
    After the three Princes of Wales and the Duke of York, the next two people in line for the British crown are Princess Beatrice of York and Princess Eugenie of York, who are conveniently right around my age. All I have to do is bring one of them on board with my plan, marry her, and badaboom, I'm Prince Consort of York.
     
    Step 2: Drop papa-in-law and the little woman off a cliff
     
    All I have to do is plan an unfortunate "accident" for those ahead of us in line to become head monarch and then blame it on some terrorist group. If lacking a terrorist group, pull a Palpatine and make one up. After that, we'll be crowned Queen and King Consort of the British Commonwealth.
     
    Step 3: Convince the senate to vote us emergency powers
     
    Yep, pull another Palpatine and use the aforementioned terrorist group to convince the British parliament to return emergency powers to the monarchy. One way to do this would be to pool our collective wealth into raising a private army to combat the "threat". Soon we extend our military protection to other members of the commonwealth, gaining further control over such economic powerhouses as Canada, Australia, South Africa, New Zealand, and particularly Pakistan and India. Using their combined economies, we could raise an army to dwarf that of the United States Armed Forces.
     
    We would continue to expand our control over the world, guaranteeing them protection from the Droid Armies (or whatever) until we had managed to expand the Commonwealth to the entire planet. Then we announce that in order to ensure our security and continuing stability, the Commonwealth will be reorganized into the first Global Empire, for a safe and secure society which I will assure them will last for ten thousand years.
     
    Step 4: Laugh maniacally
     

     
     
    And if none of that works, I guess tomorrow night I'll have to do the same thing I do every night: try to take over the world!
  22. SPIRIT
    Just wanted to do a mini survey to figure out if raising one eyebrow is really as difficult as people say it is. Can you do it? Can you move both your eyebrows independently of one another? I've been able to for as long as I can remember and it absolutely amazes some people (granted, there are some people out there who don't know how to wink and I just feel sorry for them).
     
    So yeah, in a similar vein, what other "party tricks" can you do? Vulcan salute? Ear wiggling? Nostril flaring? Asynchronous eye movement? Tongue curling (I also find it astounding that not everyone can do this either)? Elbow licking?
     
    I only ask because I can do them all.
  23. SPIRIT
    Yep, it's time for me to once again use this blog for the intended purpose of all blogs: to passive-aggressively rant about minutia in every day life.
     
    Today's topic: people who drink loudly.
     
    Everybody drinks; if you didn't, you'd be dead. Whether you're drinking water, soup, coffee, juice, pop, or what have you, for the love of all things liquid, COULD YOU PLEASE DRINK IT QUIETLY?!?!
     
    SERIOUSLY! How hard is it to ingest liquid without slurping it loudly, gulping it down loudly (especially the gulping!), then letting forth a loud sigh of relief before slamming down your cup, waiting a few seconds, and starting the tortuous process all over again.
     
    I mean, it's not acceptable when you eat. You'd be thrown out of a restaurant if you ate your food by saying OM NOM NOM NOM NOM. It's rude and disgusting is what it is and I won't have it.
     
    What's worse is people who do this in tests and exams. Excuse me, but in case you haven't noticed, this isn't a who-can-drink-the-loudest-contest, IT'S AN EXAM WORTH AN UNFAIR AMOUNT OF OUR MARK AND IT'S REALLY HARD TO REMEMBER MY LAST-MINUTE CRAMMING WITH YOUR OBNOXIOUS SLURPING, GULPING, SIGHING, AND SLAMMING RIGHT IN MY EAR.
     
    So please, spread the message about drinking as quietly possible to everyone you know or I'm going to lose it. Tune in next time when I rant about people who put random songs blaring in the background of Internet videos for no apparent reason. Pro-tip: if I have to hit mute to watch your video, you've done something wrong.
     
    Also, I'm still not posting yet.
  24. SPIRIT

    Retirement

    By SPIRIT,

    Well folks, I've had a nice long run posting on BZPower.com, but now that I've reached 9999 posts, I think it's time for me to retire from posting in the main forums and start a prosperous career of posting in New Member Q&A, Bionicle Artwork II: Shops & Kits, Bionicle Games & Trivia, BZP Voting Booth, Completely Off Topic, and blogs.
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