ALVIS Posted July 27, 2013 Author Share Posted July 27, 2013 It's great that people still remember it. But can you be so sure who this shadowy figure is? Last I checked, Umbra was a being of pure Light. Hmm... Quote "You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant." -- Harlan Ellison Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Toa Lhikevikk- Posted July 28, 2013 Share Posted July 28, 2013 Well. It's lovely to see you back; I thought you might never return. Let's see, I have four chapters to review here, so my review will a bit condensed. The kidnapping of Takanuva was pretty intense and dramatic. I liked it. Botar's resurrection is... interesting. I'm not sure what to make of it; resurrection in stories where it isn't common generally opens a huge can of worms, from the purely philosophical to the plotwise and practical. Is the afterlife he referred to the Red Star? How was he brought back? Does the Order resurrect people on a regular basis? Et cetera, et cetera. I love the concept of the info-pool, by the way. And it's pretty cool how you worked in the conversation from Brothers In Arms so seamlessly. I was several lines in before I thought "hey, haven't I read this before?" and then remembered it from... oh my, four years ago. Wow. Been a while. Anyway, I like how you kept the dialogue while including original descriptions of Mazeka's and Tobduk's reactions. Tobduk's speech about revenge in Chapter really flowed well with the character, by the way. Over the past MH stories I've noticed that your Tobduk and Greg's Tobduk have different speech styles, which is fine, but in this episode I can definitely see them converge. Great job, Bob! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ALVIS Posted July 28, 2013 Author Share Posted July 28, 2013 (edited) Many thanks for the review! It matters not whether it's condensed or not, only that you took the effort to make one. On Takanuva: Thanks again. It occurred to me while reading Destiny War that Tridax is a seriously dangerous creature. Overpowering and kidnapping dozens of Takanuvas from alternate universes is no small feat. However, poor Tridax only gets to threaten Vezon before going down like a sap before Tobduk. In the interest of restoring his pride, I elected to feature him in the prologue. On Botar: I intended it as a minor thing, but I can understand why you might be confused. It was revealed that Botar and other slain MU characters were up on the Red Star, correct? But Botar was always characterized as such a determined and loyal character -- and he has almost unlimited powers of teleportation. Well, putting two and two together, I concluded that Botar, upon revival, would almost immediately teleport back to the MU to help the Order of Mata Nui. Thus, it's my headcanon that "Botar's replacement" is, in fact, Botar in the new body built for him by the Kestora. Since it takes so much explanation, I suppose it isn't really a minor thing, but ah well. On the info-pool: Thanks! I myself was quite fond of the concept, and it seemed quite fitting for Helryx's chamber. Besides, seeing how quickly and efficiently she was able to organize the Destiny War, you've got to figure she had some supernatural communication abilities. On dialogue: And thanks once more. I knew I couldn't just disregard Tobduk's dialogue in Brothers in Arms (after all, that conversation was his first appearance in canon), but I also knew that the conversation portrayed Tobduk a little differently from how I wanted to for the purposes of the story. Simply swapping the perspective worked well enough for my tastes, and evidently for yours. That's a theme that you're going to notice in the rest of The End of the Brotherhood and in the other fanfics I've written: I like to write not outside of canon, but rather around and between it. I like to go behind the scenes and explore what an official scene in the story looked like to a different character. Thanks once more for the review! And you'd better follow the epic intensely, because I'm updating daily -- and the final two chapters are double-length, action-packed updates that will bid a final farewell to Tobduk and the Makuta Hunt series. UPDATE: Makuta Hunt ended a good eight months ago, but Lhikevikk's final review, and my final response, were wiped in the latest forum dataclysm. Let's suffice it to say that I don't believe in keeping characters hanging around once they've served their purpose -- fulfilled their destiny, one could say -- and as such, Edited February 16, 2014 by Angel Bob Quote "You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant." -- Harlan Ellison Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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