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The Ultimate Hot Wings

Posted by Exit Sign Fuses , Sep 10 2012 · 240 views

Are you ready to put some hair on your chest? Do you need to clear out your sinuses? Do ordinary buffalo wings not do it for you anymore? Are you looking to spice up your love life?

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Then boy do I have a recipie for you.

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The base! An extra hot hot sauce. Cheap and in bulk is the way to go here if you don't want to break the bank, and this one is as simple as it is spicy.

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One drop. One drop does it. One drop is all you need.

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Unless you're me. Then you use the whole bottle.

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Texas pete makes a mean hot sauce. They make a meaner hoter sauce too.

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2 HOT 2 HANDLE

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Pour that in there too.

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Can you say two pounds of jalapenos?

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I can. Note that the seeds contain the maximum spice, so you want to add those as well.

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Throw in these for good measure.

Now then. Any dumby with two brain cells can just add spices, but a true master can make a subtle, multifaceted experience that both excites and delights. It's time to seperate the boys from the men!

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Garlic adds a smooth alternate spice to the mix, and it just tastes good.

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Mince that stuff up and throw it in.

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Limes add a tang that helps accentuate and increase the juciness.

Now then. Some people would throw in some wings and call it a day. Super sissies would go with boneless wings.

But you're not a sissy, are you?

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Go big or go home!

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If this is not the most delicious, mouth watering thing you have ever seen then I have bad news.

You hate America.

Let it marinade for at least 24 hours. Longer if you think you can handle it.

I can't wait to eat mine.

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Challenge: don't drink anything except hot sauce alongside.
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Engineer Alexandra Humva
Sep 10 2012 09:50 PM
I'm going to do this, actually. If only to see how many of my friends can stand it.

Should you refrigerate during it's marination, or just stick a lid over it?
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Exit Sign Fuses
Sep 10 2012 10:02 PM
IDK man. Try letting raw chicken sit out for twenty four hours and get back to me.

Spoilers: Don't actually do this.
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Engineer Alexandra Humva
Sep 10 2012 11:01 PM
I have actually seen recipes that call for leaving raw meat out to soak in juices before, so just checking.
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Electric Turahk
Sep 11 2012 12:14 PM
I want to try this.

I just need some non-wimpy bros to do it with.
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Exit Sign Fuses
Sep 11 2012 04:17 PM
Who needs bros? Eat them all yourself
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I'm going to do this.

Eventually.

And it'll be so manly, because I'll wear a pink frilly cupcake apron as I do it and that is like, the epitome of manliness.

And I'll dance.

And sing. Just like I do when I bake things.

*plus spicy things are yum <3*
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If I wasn't already thrilled with your return, I would be now.
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So, I have to ask:

Were they good?
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Exit Sign Fuses
Sep 17 2012 05:48 PM
Absolutely delicious. I just finished marinating a chicken breast in the same hot sauce and had it on a sandwhich with some letuce on toasted rye.
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Electric Turahk
Sep 17 2012 05:52 PM
Well it just seems like it'd be more fun not alone? Seeing others' reactions, laughing at yours, etc.

But still why'd I reread this? Now I'm hungry for them again. D:
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Exit Sign Fuses
Sep 17 2012 05:57 PM
Go and make them silly!
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About Me

"I have never seen such a cocky and egocentric man (or woman) with such an inflated, festering wound of self entitlement as yourself." - Hothead
 
"He's an easy guy to love, but really hard to respect." - Princess Grace
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There was BZP information here but the updates borked it and everyone knows BZP doesn't really matter.
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Personal Pronouns: He/She
Age: 24
Height: 6'
Status: Remember.  You're stuck here forever.
Temperament: Fickle
Adores: Hugs
Current goal: To find a new job
Currently learning: How to overcome the pains that addictions bring
Basic interests: Video games, hanging out with friends, writing, reading, role playing, digging myself into holes
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Favorite Salad Dressing: Honey Mustard

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