Well, this is it.
All joking aside, in less than three days now, I'm going off to college. Which means that the day I've anticipated, sometimes dreaded, but always prepared for, has come. It's time for me to say goodbye to BZPower. I don't really know how I feel. Yeah, of course I'll miss BZP and all the memories and connections I've made here. But, knowing for a year and a half that this was the day that I'd have to say a final goodbye has helped me come to terms with that. I've 'quit' BZP before, but this time I'm pretty sure it'll be different. I don't think I'll miss it enough to want to come back. And I've done so much these past eight months, enough to last me a few years I think, so I don't mind setting this obligation to rest.
That's probably not the right word, 'obligation'...well to be honest, BZP did used to be an obligation for me. In 2007 and 2008 I felt more like BZP was something that I had to do, but I didn't want to, and it sort of stifled and restricted me. So why not quit? Well, I did, more than once. But each time I did, I started to only have memories of the good things in BZP, not the bad, so that always made me want to come back.
I guess what I've come to realize as I went through my last year of BZP going above and beyond and doing more than I've done in the three years before, is that it's really all in the mindset. I told myself I had to do BZP and that I didn't want to, so that's what happened. This time I chose to treat it as what it was in the beginning, something I do for fun. And as expected, I had a lot of fun.
There's another thing too. BZPower by itself has never been what I've liked, what I've tried to quit from and what I've always returned to. No, what it was, was the connections I made, the people I met, the friends and even good friends that I've made on BZP. It was the people that made me want to come back, the idea of having such connections that made BZP so addicting.
So I've made a sort of 'thank you list' of people I want to, well, thank. Maybe we've been IM buddies for a year or more. Maybe we only shared one PM conversation. Whatever it was, I want to thank you for making my four year stay on BZPower meaningful, and I've tried to include everyone here, hoping that I didn't forget anyone.
But before that, a considerably shorter list about me. More specifically, about things I'm proud of that I've done here. I sometimes find myself thinking about what I didn't do and what I could've done, but I'd rather focus on the positive.
Things I'm proud of
Won a BZP Contest: I accomplished this my first year, which was really surprising to me because I didn't think I could do it. That was really fun though, knowing that I met one of my goals I set for myself. And then another one, a team contest this time, which was better, I guess because it felt like we won as, well, a team.
Made it to the Top 100 Overall Posters: I dreamed like every new member of racking up a high post count. Sort of forgot about that over the years as I found more fun things to look forward to in BZPower, but it's nice that I finally made it onto the list near the end of my time here. I'll probably fall off the list soon as others get more posts than little soon-to-be-inactive me, but just making it once was enough. =]
Ran an RPG: I did this for two years until the RPG closed, though it was more of a failure than a success for me. Even so, all the mistakes I made as an RPG Moderator have at least taught me what not to do, so I'm grateful for that. As my last day drew closer, I kept getting thoughts of wanting to start and run another RPG, though I knew I wouldn't have the time to...and I would've had to leave anyone who joined out in the cold once I left. But after failing as an RPG Moderator the first time around, and spending more than half a year as just a 'regular' RPer to get back to the basics, I think if I had the chance, I'd be able to run an RPG successfully and fairly this time. Who knows? The experience is something I'm grateful for, at least.
Ran the Story Fit: I know I canceled it a couple of months after it started, and sometimes I wonder if I should have kept it going. Even if it was only one person who participated, that could still be considered a success. Still, it was fun while it lasted, and I liked how the SS forum jumped in activity when I ran it. The Libraries always felt like one of the under-appreciated forums to me, and I'm glad that the BZP News Team is finally acknowledging the wonderful work that our writers and artists do. I hope someday the Libraries will be as busy as the other forums.
Made People Laugh: Is that servile or not? But really, I liked it when I made people's days with my posts or blog entries. I try to lighten the mood, especially in the RPG forums where things can sometimes get melodramatic, so it's always nice when I succeed.
Ran a Story Arc: After years of trying in the BZPRPG, I'm glad I finally managed to not only start a story arc but also end one successfully. I know, RPing in the thing counts as contributing too, but I felt like, having been a role-player for four years in the same RPG, I wanted something to show for it, you know? I'm sorry for being selfish in that regard, but my deepest thanks to everyone who participated and supported me in my quest for a complete story arc.
Speaking of which, I guess it's time to get to my Thank-You List. This accomplishments thing has gotten too long already.
People I Want to Thank
Dr. Bionicle: You probably won't see this, but thanks for inspiring me to become a role-player. I've been re-reading the old Academy topic these past few months, and man were we Acad noobs a handful. If it were me I would've given up after the first week, but you dealt with us with so much patience. Thank you for that.
EmperorWhenua 2.0: Wow. I have so much to say I don't know what to put on here. Thanks for being someone I can call a best friend on here. For all the moments we've shared, on AIM and off of it. The T-shirts, the mutual *glomp*ing, you giving me that lateral promotion from slave to toy, etc. You're funny, eccentric, nice, patient, and everything else, and I admire and respect you for that. I hope you continue to have fun with BZP and real life. Congrats again on Eagle Scout and Man Scout status. You earned it. =]
Emzee: Thanks for RPing with me this last year. It was nice that I finally got to know you as more than just a name on the list of staff. Have fun with the rest of the 2010 storyline! Here's to hoping your master plan with the mods goes well.
Female BZPRPGer: Gato, Gato, Gato. I have dozens of cherished memories of you, not least of which is that genderbending confusion, that Russian sleep experiment thing, your huge gallery, the 'herpaderp' in chatrooms, and finally your charming sarcastic wit. Loved your comments in the GD and the metagaming Ga. I think I can say I consider you one of my close friends here on BZP, and I'm glad I got to know you. Thanks for all the awesome memories!
Friar Tuck: Friar, thanks for being here these past couple of years. As with Emzee, I'm glad I got to know you as a member this time...the wacky chatroom moments were great, and I hope you continue to have fun modding the BZPRPG. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for Joske. =]
GaliGee: GG, I can't thank you enough. You were one of the main reasons I was inspired to join BZPower in the first place...in November 2005 I stumbled onto your epic, Tangled Web, and I was mesmerized. I remember how, in your review topic, you'd take the time to answer the comments of each and every one of us...that's part of what gave me the idea of doing this list. Thanks for being so nice to us, and for treating us with more respect than we deserve. I hope that you'll achieve your goal of getting a book published...what am I saying, I'm sure you will.
Hahli Husky: Thanks for hosting all those contests, and leading one of the coolest forums in BZP. Besides the RPG forum, of course. ;P Also, thanks for hosting the Redwall RPG way back when.
Hak: Thanks for being a buddy to me, trading reviews of each other's epics, RPing in the Acad...fun times. I hope that whatever you're doing now is going well for you. Thanks for everything. =]
Khote: Thanks for being one of my first friends! If not for all your help and kindness those first few weeks with the Academy RPG, I probably would have dropped out. Speaking of your kindness, thanks for going out of your way to make that MoC of Lazok. I don't know if you'll ever see this, but if you do, I'm using those MoCs as my blog's sideboxes right now. =]
King Sharkticus CXII: Oh, Shark. Despite all the poking fun at you in chatrooms, I really do value that you've been a friend to me all these years. The weird conversations, the wacky jams and RPs...Zezak and Lazok make a good comedy duo, I must say. With Lazok being the straight man, and Zezak the funny man. But yeah, thanks for all the fun times!
Kiotu: I'm sorry I can't collaborate with you on that arena RPG. I hope you're able to submit it to a contest though! It was nice brainstorming with you for all of...one month? =P Thanks for the experience.
Lady Kopaka: I still remember that time in '06 when I checked my inbox and got this PM from you. I thought of you as a legend at the time with all your artwork, so I was surprised to get a PM to little old me. I regret that we never got to interact more, with the group epic thing being discarded before we even started and then my never fulfilling my promise of reviewing all your works of art...and even the BZPRPG. I'll have you know you made me stay four months more than I had planned, thank you very much. =P But really, thank you for that...if that hadn't happened, I probably wouldn't have accomplished so much in these last couple of months. I hope that your health gets better and your life less busy. Some parting advice I guess, would be, don't be too hard on yourself with deadlines and all. Focus on your own well-being sometimes, yeah? =]
Lloyd: the White Wolf: Thanks for the four years of memories, Lloyd. I enjoyed jamming with you, doing those survey things...you were always the serious one in our little groups. Thanks for everything.
Lord Dunsparce of York: I'll always think of you as Jolek, personally. I still remember how, back in January or February or so, even though it was fun to have someone new to RP with, I was a bit annoyed that I had to change Lazok's text color so as not to confuse it with Jolek's. I forgive you. =P j/k But definitely, thank you for RPing with me. It was nice to have an RPing buddy, and a repeat of the connections we built from RPing together helped me deal with my, how do you say it, mid-life crisis with RPGs. Stick with the BZPRPG, I think you're one of the best out of the 2010 'newbies' and you'll only improve as time goes on. =]
Lurking the Bolt: I don't know if you'll ever come back on to see this, but in case you do, thanks for the little RPing we did, and for the awesome stories.
Moutekea: Mout. Man, I don't know what to say. If you happen to drop by here someday, I want you to know that, as with Doc B, it wasn't until I went back four years later to look through the Acad topic that I realized just how patient you were with us noobs. I know a lot of stuff happened that made you leave, but I never really had a chance to thank you for all you've done, all the help you gave me, and how you taught me to be a better, more mature RPer. Here's to another thirty-something years, you old fogey. =]
Nid: Thanks for writing the Arachniphobia epic. It's one of the reasons why I became a member, to comment on your stuff. And thanks for mentoring me during the 2007 BZPRPG, and for creating the Nogans. We had fun with them the last few months. =P Anyway, back to Arachniphobia...I remember when I submitted that entry to your guest star villain request, and I felt so honored that you accepted it and even responded. But yeah, thanks!
Nuju Metru: Nuju, thanks for RPing with me this past year. Your vibrant characters like Grokk and Uhuraz occasionally gave me a chuckle, and your posts were definitely among the ones I most enjoyed in the BZPRPG. Hope you continue to have fun RPing!
Patient 065: Sera...wow. Three years of memories, buddy, thanks for making the BZPRPG fun during that time. Sharing music videos, etc...and the AIM chatroom moments, always got a laugh from your antics when you were on.
Rising Moon: Right now I'm thinking about how it was a shame we never got to do that group epic together. It really would have been...well, epic. =P Anyway, I've always enjoyed reading your works; it's scary sometimes when I'm reminded that you're still only 13. I know you'll only get even better at writing as time goes on. Keep up that awesome work!
Robo: If someday you come back and read this, then this is for you. Thanks for being my close friend and confidante for two years...we both listened to each other's rants, haha...that definitely helped me keep a cool head through all the RPG drama. Watch that ego, all right? =]
Smeagol4: Smeag, you are a crazy, crazy man. And I'm glad that I finally got to know you this last year. Thanks for returning to the BZPRPG and exceeding my already high expectations of the kind of guy you were. =]
Snoopy82: Snoops, thanks for RPing with me. I regret we didn't get to know each other better, but the few memories we did share were fun.
Spink: Spinky! Thanks for letting me be your cat for ~45 days. =P And thanks for RPing with me in the NRPG, BZPRPG, etc.
T-Hybrid: Thanks for transferring the lifetime PMship to me way back when. I wish I had talked to you more before you left, but yeah, I regret never thinking to thank you personally.
Toa Velox: V...I can't believe that two years ago you were just some vague MoCer and writer I remembered seeing once or twice as I scrolled down the forums. But I'm glad we got to know each other better this past year. Thanks for the memories from RPG, Story Fit, suffering through the SSCC together...=P I regret that we weren't able to do the group epic, but oh well. Anyway, thanks for being my friend, and I hope you'll have fun in your new job of supervising the SSCC. You deserve it. =]
Toa Zehvor MT: Thanks for I guess listening to my advice. =P I always feel happy when I feel like I've helped out a fellow RPer with his or her project. Good luck with the next contest!
ToM Dracone: Thanks for catching that little mistake I made, and for hosting that Songfic contest four years ago. =]
xccj: Thanks for being one of my inspirations to join along with GaliGee and Nid. I loved Kulagi's Kanoka, and I'll always remember it fondly.
Yukiko: Thanks for, well, RPing with me. =P And for participating in the Story Fit, I've always enjoyed your poems by the way, poetry buddy haha. Defending the merits of poetry against the naysayers in the BZP GD in, what was it, 2009? Something like that. Anyway, have fun in Ecuador!
Zooplankton: Thanks for letting me make that MoC of your character. Same with MT, I always feel happy when I've helped out someone. I hope you continue to enjoy success with your epic...maybe someday I'll finally know how it ends. =P
Captain, CJ, EU, Sisen, Kaitan, Vorik, Tahakki, Krayzikk, toatc, JMJ, and all the other BZPRPG pals; Chibi, Von, Hubert, Shadok, and the other WfE buddies: Thanks for making my last eight months here especially awesome. Keep on RPing, the BZPRPG can never have too many people. Don't stop improving your RPing skills either. =] Same with the WfE guys, I wish I had more time to get to know you, but thanks for the RPs we did have.
Dwin, Gera, Hahligirl56, Hiraga, Poks, Tom, LFZ, Mr. E, and the rest of the old Acads: Man. Good times, huh? Not that you'll see this, most of you moved on way before I was ready to say goodbye to you all...but thanks for being my first group of friends, and for all the wacky moments in the chatrooms. I miss those.
Advent, Allen, Nacatumi, Madara, Necro, and the rest of the NRPG folks: Thanks for dealing with my failings as a Moderator. I know we all struggled with balancing running the RPG and life, but I'm hoping that somewhere out there you're all managing better with real life and stuff. Nacatumi, a special thanks for that art topic you made back then featuring my RPG character.
Akai, Rockhound, Toa Spirit, Neelh, Eyru, and the rest of the Story Fit: Thanks for a great few months! Proof that writers on this forum can come together and stuff...no, really. I was afraid that my project wouldn't get off the ground, but thanks to you the Story Fit thrived. I hope you all keep improving your writing. =]
Janus, Toa Iranu of Atohune, AZBlue, and Tifosi92: Team Yes all the way! Thanks for all the fun with the SS Autumn Olympics, I was honored to be able to work with you guys.
Rausaro, Takuna Nuva, Raptor, Paharak Girl, and the rest of the Redwall gang: Even though the RPG wasn't as active as others (understatement), I still had a lot of great memories with you guys. I hope that whatever you're doing right now is going well.