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Ko-matoran accident free friendship

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9 replies to this topic

#1 Offline Taka Nuvia

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Posted Apr 22 2012 - 09:24 AM

Oh look at this, my name in Short Stories. Woot. xD

This was written out of a sudden burst of inspiration, a few weeks ago. :whatsthat: It's a very short story, but I hope you can enjoy it nonetheless. ^_^Also, thanks to Peach 00 for taking a look at this beforehand and encouraging me to post it. :3

 

______________________________________________

 

Free

 

Keryan hated the cold. He thought it was awful. He didn't like snow, either. It was too white, too cold. He was too white, too. But not cold. In fact, others often told him that he was a rather warm, friendly person, especially for a Ko-matoran. Travellers were often surprised by his openness and interest in the world, and most of them voluntarily told him stories about other parts of the island, what their homeplaces were like.

 

Keryan wished he could go somewhere else, maybe feel the warm sun on his face, see waterfalls and sandy dunes, or walk through a forest. There was only one problem: he had no legs. He'd lost them in an accident, many years ago.

 

The matoran sighed, and shifted his weight a little. A week before, a Ta-matoran, Valon, has visited him. They'd talked for a while, about various things. Valon had promised that he would see whether he could find a solution for Keryan's problem.

The Ko-matoran looked out of the window of his hut, his gaze blocked by a raging snowstorm, a cold white wall, shifting, moving, threatening and yet, also beautiful to some. Keryan tilted his head. For a while he had believed that there would be a chance for him to get out of his hut, away from the cold, into a world of colour and sensation... he blinked. Had he just seen a red dot?

 

No, he hadn't imagined it. The red dot came closer. Began to change. Got a shape. I was a matoran. It was Valon! And he was carrying something strange on his back...Keryan tugged at the rope which activated a mechanism to open the door. A gust of wind swept in, carrying snowflakes, and then Valon stumbled in.

„Keryan!“, he said, huffing, „I found a solution!“

A grin spread over his face.

„We'll get you out of here!“

 

Keryan enjoyed the sun. He thought it was wonderful. He also loved the colours of the forest surrounding him. The warm green of leaves beneath sunlight, their soft shadows, forming changing patterns on the ground.Valon had done him a great favour. With this device, which looked like a chair with wheels, he could finally explore the island, his new friend always behind him.

 

Now he was free.


Edited by Fairy Paladin, Nov 28 2014 - 07:19 AM.

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#2 Offline Mare Tranquillitatis

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Posted Apr 22 2012 - 09:48 AM

Nice job, Taka! It's a short and simple, yet beautiful tale, which talks about something real and close to perhaps most of us translated in BIONICLE. Una piccola perla, Taka Nuvia.
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#3 Offline SwagtronYOLO

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Posted Apr 22 2012 - 10:10 AM

Kinda makes you wonder why it is people always want most what they cannot have. Still, this was a great concept for that, not to mention simple (which is a good thing, in my opinion). Short, sweet and to the point.Nice use of color as description in this too.
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Executive Vice President of Tomato Throwing


#4 Offline Blessed Blade

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Posted Apr 22 2012 - 10:38 AM

Very interesting. Certainly is a change of pace to see a Ko-Matoran who isn't always wanting to be left alone, and the fact that he was able to eventually get to see the rest of the island was good for an ending. It was short; but in this case, I think it worked better, since it wasn't the story of how he got into that situation, but rather, how he got out of the situation. =)
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#5 Offline Athmos

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Posted Apr 22 2012 - 01:15 PM

Interesting story, making a crippled Matoran. Choosing a Ko-Matoran was a good idea, but what if it was a Le-Matoran? They are always active, and then you tell us about one that isn't. A tad more heartbreaking, I think.
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#6 Offline Dragonfly the Luminescent

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Posted Apr 22 2012 - 01:25 PM

That's definately a new idea! It's a really warm story for a Ko-Matoran. The fact that you have a Ta-Matoran and a Ko-Matoran as pals is an uncommon but cute story aspect.You could probably use these characters for future stories if you needed to. I think they have a very nice beginning. :)
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#7 Offline The Marlfox

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Posted Apr 23 2012 - 06:27 PM

hey! so i really like how short adn sweet this was. and of course, to contradict myself, i would also like to know more about the ko matoran's accident. haha, well if that makes any sense, overall i liked the story, it was a nice read. keep up the good work!
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#8 Offline Makuta Matata

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Posted Apr 25 2012 - 08:07 PM

That was great. It was heartwarming. I really loved this story.
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#9 Offline Dwanny

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Posted Apr 26 2012 - 10:39 AM

This is like one of those classic little tales everyone can enjoy. :3Its shortness makes it that much more enjoyable.Very heartwarming, you should write more stories.
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#10 Offline Multiverse

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Posted May 29 2012 - 02:49 PM

That's very, very beatiful, and, as many have noted, full of great little symbolic details (The Ko- and the Ta-matoran, etc.). I love, and am hugely intrigued by, the close-up realness of it all, even placed in an unrealistic setting. I think that perfectly exemplifies the purpose of Fantasy writing in general.
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I've been gone. Hopes to return, though perhaps just to listen.


And to brighten your day with a little pun: Why didn't the clam share with anyone?

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