This is another rant about stupid things I see on Yahoo News. Well, not technically the news feed, but it's on the same page as their news feed. That is, their "trending" list. Every few minutes, the trending topics change completely. But Kylie Jenner is on it just about every time I glance in its direction. I get who Kylie Jenner is. She's the daughter of Caitlyn Jenner. And don't get me wrong, Caitlyn is an American hero whom I greatly admire. But what exactly has Kylie done to be tren
So a month ago I got to spend time with my family and they were all finally in the mood for watching Flash Gordon. I saw it when I was about five, and found it to be the most amazing camp movie of all time, perhaps even more amazing than the Adam West Batman. It's hard to pick between those two. Anyway, our favorite line was instantly this one from Dr. Hans Zarkov, which happens to fit thematically quite well with a certain event from this week: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewMMVPDX2NQ
So today there was a Solar Eclipse that was reportedly "visible across the entire U.S.A." I hope you all liked it. However, I might point out the inherent dishonesty of the media. It was not visible across the entire U.S.A. I had my car break down in the middle of nowhere, heading down from Canada through the Dakotas. The nearest population center was 69 miles away. And I had no phone reception. Plus my phone battery was dead anyway. Not so bad -- at least I have an eclipse to watch, rig
Saturday was my birthday. Yay me. I didn't do anything, except meet up with a friend that I hadn't seen in years and talk for five hours at a cafe. After that, lazy day. I worked on a letter a little bit that's for someone else's birthday. I drew a picture. Read a little from the The Complete Lojban Language. Tried flipping through my book on Ithkuil. Had a milkshake at McDonald's. Took a nap. What I'm glad that I didn't do that Saturday was turn on the news. If I had, I would have be
It just occurred to me that Google Maps is a misnomer. It's more like Google Map. It's all one giant map. Also, I'm using it to find my way to the nearest offices of the Internal Revenue Services. I've been trying to get on top of all of my tax information for the better part of this year. Expect a rant on this later. 24601
Her movie is just about to surpass $400 million domestically, and in a week's time she might even surpass the original Spider-Man. That will make her movie the highest grossing debute solo film in superhero history. She's also getting close to surpassing Iron Man 3. This is very good news for DC, and also very good news for women in general. I would especially like for Wonder Woman to surpass the domestic gross of the billionaire playboy's highest grossing film. It's not that I don't like T
It's been confirmed, eleven years in advance. I'm a bit worried. It will be awesome, of course, but the major question is whether or not John Williams will live to be 96. I sincerely wish to attend an Olympics with an opening ceremony scored by the Maestro. On a related note, scientists need to invent a cure for aging soon. If you can get John Williams to live forever, you can basically assure world peace. 24601
Dunkirk is a Christopher Nolan film that branches off into a significantly different genre for the director, but remains quintessentially a Nolan film. For most people, that's enough to determine whether or not this film is for them. For the rest who might be on the fence over whether or not they'll like it, that's what this review is for. First off, when I say that this is a Christopher Nolan film, that includes his non-linear editing. People going into this need to know that it isn't a tradi
I liked it. Only real complaint is that the title Valerian and the City of A Half Dozen Worlds would have been more accurate. Luc Besson gave us some pretty amazing things to look at, but not quite as much as I thought I was going to get. Going off of the trailers, I thought that I was going to have the most complete triptastic experience ever. It was still triptastic...but it actually focused more on story than I thought that it would. I also thought that the story would be as simple as that in
I haven't felt this strongly about a film since 2013. Good cinematographer Good sound technicians Good production designer Everything else sucked. You don't feel for a single character, not to mention that literally everyone on-screen is fictional. I remember when he released this thinking, "Ah, for once Christopher Nolan can make a traditional film in a genre that should be larger than him as a director. If nothing else, we won't have any more of this non-linear storytelling." As it happens
I just watched the most famous bad movie of all time. Various Youtube channels have completely spoiled the movie for me, so I've basically seen the entire movie already, so it was a bit of a downer. My suggestion is that you don't watch any of those videos out there about the film. Instead, take my word for it, and be one of the few who actually goes out and buys the DVD off of Tommy Wiseau's site, and watch it with minimal knowledge of the movie (save for the part where there's uncensored nu
Instead of being named after the original Planet of the Apes, this series should have titled itself after Caesar. If you think about it, this series has very little to do with exactly how the planet of the apes setting came about. Asides from the initial accident which created the virus that wiped out humans and shot up the ape IQs, none of the actions of any of the characters ultimately did anything to determine the course of history. Nothing Caesar did had any impact on what the planet of t
Pros: Michael Keaton as Birdman really rules this movie. Absolutely amazing. I related to his character a lot. Working man, has a team of guys in a special garage with him. Enjoys his job. Good stuff. I sympathized with him. This is truly the first time since Loki that Marvel Studios has put a good villain in its film. YES! Spiderman fought the villain on multiple occasions before their climactic final fight. I like that. So often, heros and villains don't meet each other until the climax, and
I recently discovered who he was, which I suppose is inevitable, considering that he makes more money off of Youtube than anyone else. What I have to say is that I swear, this guy who sits in a basement and plays video games looks like a supermodel and has blue eyes to get lost in and die for. He even slips into speaking the beautiful language of Svenska sometimes! I absolutely love Svenska, with its seventeen vowels and pitch-tone accent! And Ikea! Only two problems with that guy: with as
I was with my father the other day, on a trip down to Omaha. We walked about the Henry Doorly Zoo for about six hours, and it was in the mid-nineties. I sweat a lot. Later, I went over to Dairy Queen and bought a large blizzard to cool me off. Also, I bought myself a bottle of Gatorade. Because that stuff feels real good when you've been sweating as much as I was. Anyway, my father was telling me about how what I went through was "nothin'." "You probably won't believe this," he started, "but w
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lk5_OSsawz4 I remember memorizing all of the lyrics back in middle school or something. Pretty epic stuff. And yet, there's like fifty other epic (non STAR WARS) themes that could have appeared in here. Crazy! 24601
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_shrCoqWh9k It looks kind of dumb, but you know what sells me? Passion. If you see any of the "making of" segments, it's clear that Luc Besson is passionate about it. He'l right to advertise it as "a vision a lifetime in the making." That sort of passion sells more than any special effect. Also, he's freaking Luc Besson we're talking about here, director of The Fifth Element. If he does anything that's even in the same genre as that film, I'm in. It makes m
I'm a simple man, and I want simple things. 1. Become a rabbi. 2. Wear the skin of Leonardo DiCaprio on my face. 3. Climb Mount Everest naked (except for the part where I'm wearing Leonardo DiCaprio's skin) 4. Play four-square with Kim Jong-un, Steven Hawking, and the Pope. 5. Successfully eat bugs 6. Board a moving train by horseback 7. Walk across the country with an elephant. 8. Get a job at McDonald's. 9. Win an Oscar for my authentic method acting of a McDonald's employee (I was the only
I neglected to write about this yesterday. Instead, I wrote a letter to a Canadian on some very nice parchment paper...which is incidentally printed by Southworth, a paper company that's older than Canada itself, which I found pretty funny. The name is kind of ironic too, considering, you know, south. That took up a few hours of my day. Then, because I wasn't able to actually drive up to Canada and visit the national parks, which I had wanted to do, I instead took a 12 mile walk through neat
Freaking Yahoo... No, Meryl Streep did not get married "at long last" at age 68 to her longtime lover, Robert Redford. That news story is completely made up. For that matter, she hasn't been single this whole time, either. Shes been married to a man named Don Gummer for the lat forty years. Redford is married, too. Why is Yahoo putting this news on its homepage? Go home, Yahoo. You're drunk. *continues to use a Yahoo email account* 24601
Okay, not really. The Dark Knight is better. But I would like to say that Michael Bay actually has his strong points and things that he does better than Christopher Nolan. Nolan actually gets a lot wrong with his fight scenes that he hides in post-production through his editing. Bay does a better job of putting together large action sequences on-set. He gets the logistics right. He also consults the military on how to make action scenes with the military as realistic as possible, so in tha
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJY5l6I253c&spfreload=1 This quote is amazing: "“Without John Williams, bikes don’t really fly, nor do brooms in Quidditch matches, nor do men in red capes.There is no Force, dinosaurs do not walk the Earth, we do not wonder, we do not weep, we do not believe." If I could just tell John Williams that he makes me cry, not just every once and a while when his movies come out, but every day. 24601
