Counterpoint, Bulik: The Abrams can withstand explosions with no harm. As in, driving over a car bomb which then proceeds to go off underneath it, where armor is typically weakest. A falling tree would likely have less force behind it, distributed over a greater area. This means a weaker impact and therefore less damage.

Abrams win, no doubt. Incendiary shells light up a few trees, boom. Huge forest fire, considering the entire planet is apparently a forest.

Counterpoint, Bulik: The Abrams can withstand explosions with no harm. As in, driving over a car bomb which then proceeds to go off underneath it, where armor is typically weakest. A falling tree would likely have less force behind it, distributed over a greater area. This means a weaker impact and therefore less damage.

 

Abrams win, no doubt. Incendiary shells light up a few trees, boom. Huge forest fire, considering the entire planet is apparently a forest.

It seems with you not even all the force of Heaven itself could bring down an Abram.

Nah man, it's just none of the stuff Kraggh throws at 'em has succeeded. =P But, like, sufficient explosives? Armor piercing rounds? Someone who could open the hatch and drop in a grenade without being mowed down? Batman? All winners against the monolith of steel and gun.

In all honesty, though, I am very much biased towards tanks and other military hardware. That sort of thing is a huge passion of mine, especially the aircraft of the Air Force, Navy, and Marines. Pit something like that against almost anything, and I'll come down in favor of the USA's boys in camo any day.

Nothing beats the Ewoks. Nothing. Though I'm probably biased here.

....

Okay, fine... objectively speaking tanks win.

Ewoks have the power of Plot on their side, so Ewoks.

Just a side note, the Abrams was designed to withstand everything short of the force of Heaven and possibly it's censored opposite. It's designed to take anti-tank rounds and shrug them off and to be the most versatile armored vehicle ever at the same time. It's crazy tough.

I think the current vote count is 4 to 4. I'm just going to reboot this and hope someone breaks the tie.

Ewoks.

No reason. But the power.

Alright, Ewoks it is, then. That's good, because I've been wanting to do this next one for quite some time...

Ewok vs. Predator

Area of competition: Death match

Conditions: One predator visits Endor and tries to take out an entire population of Ewoks. This is assuming that the AVP films are not a part of the Predator franchise's official canon.

Ewoks. I have no clue what a "predator" is, but ewoks are still plain cool.

I thought this was a death match competition, not a coolness competition?

Predator.

The Ewoks might be able to injure the Predator pretty badly, but we all know what would happen after that.

(Or, if you don't: the Predator nukes everything.)

No one wins this one.

GO MY EWOK BRETHREN! YOU SHALL PREVAIL SO LONG AS YOU REMAIN ADORABLE!

Predator. They hunt for sport, and the most dangerous prey at that. Xenomorphs, Humans, who knows what else.

The ewoks have a bunch of improvised traps and plot. Predator wins.

Predator no competition what so ever.

The Ewoks just need to know when to drop their weapons and dance in the trees. Then Predator won't see any sport in it and would walk away. Crisis averted, Ewoks win!

Okay, totally stolen fro HISHE, but the point still stands.

I added some clarification to the conditions. I don't think of Predators as actually hunting Xenomorphs, so they don't have that to their official credit. This is especially significant when taking into account the magnitude of the Predator's Thanatos gambit. In AVP, it was absolutely collosal, but it was far less overdone in the original Predator movie. I haven't seen their power in either Predator II and Predators, though.

On another note, Dutch was capable of taking out the Predator in the original film and survived the nuke at the end. I'm going to assume that at least one Ewok would survive the explosion. That, and the detonation has to be activated manually, meaning it would have to see its death coming and be physically capale of flipping the switch after the killing strike has been dealt. Considering that the Predator in the first film was killed by a medium-sized log, it seems that he's exceptionally vulnerable to Ewok tactics, especially when considering that logs on Endor are much bigger.

Ewoks.

Well, when you go and cut out a huge mark in favor of the Predator, without making an equal trade for the stupid fuzzballs, of course there's going to be something favoring the ewoks.

Keep in mind the only reason they even figured out anything about it is because it got wounded by chance in a firefight. Since we know based on Predator and Predators they seem to have an affinity for jungles and such, and given the ewoks' lack of guns and whatnot, I'd say the Predator still firmly within the winning category.

I'm saying that when I wrote the entry, I had in mind the canon Predator, not noncanon representations. I'm saying this because if I ever bring up the Xenomorph, I would never bring up AVP as a legitimate source for information, especially since Prometheus directly contradicts those films. To me, those are just fan fiction films that created their own continuity, one that I, being a purist, have do not adhere to. The main thing this really changes is the magnitude of the explosion, though. I do believe that they were otherwise just as competitent as depicted in the AVP films.

Well, when you go and cut out a huge mark in favor of the Predator, without making an equal trade for the stupid fuzzballs, of course there's going to be something favoring the ewoks.

 

Keep in mind the only reason they even figured out anything about it is because it got wounded by chance in a firefight. Since we know based on Predator and Predators they seem to have an affinity for jungles and such, and given the ewoks' lack of guns and whatnot, I'd say the Predator still firmly within the winning category.

Bear in mind that there are probably hundreds of Ewoks against a single Predator. I don't doubt that he could take a significant number of them, but Ewoks aren't dumb. They know their jungle better than a visitor would, and they know how to set traps (isn't that how Dutch got the better of it in the movie? I can't remember). And they seem pretty willing to fight hard for their freedom.

Ewoks and I'm betting you favor them, because you mention the Predator "trying" to take out the Ewok population.

Ewoks: 5

Predator: 3

Bear in mind, I wasn't actually favoring the Ewoks, although objectively I do think that they would win given the continuity within the Predator films. I was hoping the Predator would win, actually, just because it would have been fun to use in the next round, being a classic match-off character.

To further clarify my stance on the exclusion of AVP, I've noticed tons of "vs." matches go askew because characters who appear in multiple continuities appear. For example, there was a "Superman vs. Goku" debate once, but people came to radically different conclusions on how that would turn out due to the failure of the match-makers to clarify if we were talking about Pre-Crisis or Post-Crisis Superman and whether we were talking about young Goku or adult Goku.

That, and I still think that the AVP films objectify the Xenomorphs. They have acid for blood, and it sprays. They really toned that down. Plus they made it into a controllable animal, something scientific and predictable, something quantifiable, and action monster. If it was officially part of the franchise it would have ruined the Xenomorph. Meanwhile, yes, there was also the distortion of the Predators, and truth be told I think that both sides were misrepresented in those films.

Anyway, today's round.

Ewoks vs Zombie Apocalypse

Area of Competition: Exactly what you think it is

Conditions: The Zombie Apocalypse starts with one Ewok corpse. The infection only affects Ewoks. Zombiewoks are thrice as strong as regular Ewoks and have the same speed. An Ewok has to be by a Zombiewok in order to become a Zombiewok. Any technicalities regarding zombies in the ensuing debates will be settled by me and edited into the conditions.

Zombie apocalypse. it's a disease, and it will continue to evolve until all of the Ewoks are dead.

Zombies.