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Love Story!...ish: The Sequel

Turakii #1 Lavasurfer


This is the slightly late sequel to SZ's Love Story!...Ish. Ready? Here we go...


Meanwhile, on a completely different part of the island, a Matoran named Moe was selling electric razors.


"Razors! Razors! Get 'em while they're hot!"


Most Matoran walked by without even glancing at him. A few, who looked strangely as though they had recently discovered the hard way that Matoran don't have hair, paused long enough to give him melting glares.


"Razors! Razors!" Moe began to get desperate. "We've got blue ones, pink ones, orange ones that play music!"


Tamaru walked up and stared at the orange razor. "What songs does it play?"


"Why, it plays--- err..." Moe pressed the button and a happy, tinkling tune poured out. He listened, frowning, then offered a nervous smile and said, "This song! Isn't it lovely? Isn't it a masterpiece? And I'm certain it was composed by some famous musical artist, such as, um, Kopaka the Infinitely Great or Kapura the Excessively Talented! Listen to that breathtaking note! Admire how it dips and rises! And, for only twenty-two widgets more, you even get a three-day warranty! We promise to replace any broken part with a 57% gauranteed less-broken part! How much will I take for this wonderful razor that plays a, um, song?" He waved it under Tamaru's nose, then realized Tamaru had walked away ten minutes ago.


With a sigh, he sat back, pulled a package out of his lunchbox, ripped it open, and crunched into it. A strange look crossed his mask, and he examined his "lunchbox" more closely. Then he stared in disbelief at the object in his hand.


A Ga-Matoran's shriek suddenly erupted close by. "EEEEEEE! Guys, come look, he's eating a razor!"


Moe opened his mouth to explain that he had mistaken it for a package of popcorn, but the words died in his throat as he suddenly found himself surrounded by gushing, thoroughly impressed Ga-Matoran.


"He's eating a razor!?"


"Oh m'gosh, he's so brave!"


"And cute!"


"Not even Tahu could do something like that!"


"Can I have one?"


"Will you come to my birthday party?"


A crowd of Le-Matoran and Ta-Matoran, attracted by the multitude of Ga-Matoran, ran over to gape and admire.


A smile spread across Moe's mask, and he confidently took another bite. "It's full of beneficial calories and nutrients! Plus, Moe's Razors have a unique flavor you'll never find anywhere else! Buy a Moe Razor today!"


"I want one!"


"Me too!"


"Give me an orange one!"


As Moe hastily tossed razors into the crowd and raked in the stacks of widgets, Hahli Inika stopped by the stand. "What's going on?"


"Hahli!" squealed Nixie. "Quick, try a razor, they're great!"


"What do they do?" Hahli asked, looked uncertainly at Nixie's half-eaten razor.


Kapura beamed and pointed to the recently scribbled ad taped to the front of the stand. "Apart from being the best in satiating any hunger, making lawn decorations enviable by the great Gali herself, and playing tunes sweet enough to charm a rabid Tahtorak, they also remove facial hair!"


Hahli stared at the ad with new eyes. Visions of herself winning beauty contests, signing autographs, smiling at a perpetual crowd of fans, writing a novel, being featured in the Mata Nui news, inventing TV, being on the new TV, and marrying Tom Cruise danced through her head. She turned to Kapura and gasped, "Can I have one?"


The crowd suddenly rushed off, gabbling about how much they looked forward to lunchtime. Moe dug himself out from the pile of widgets, flipped his "open" sign around to "sold out," then went back to his own hut, leaving Hahli standing in the town square with a mustache and a pile of shattered dreams.





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That has to be one of the saddest stories I've ever read. Poor Hahli, left alone with her facial hair and dashed hopes. Makes me want to cry.


Reminds me of my Aunt Herbert's trip to the Laundromat. :(












...Ha. :P

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