"Carp" is a minced oath of a minced oath.

[not funny I know]

So a baby seal walks into a club...

YES I KNOW SEALS ARE MAMMALS LEAVE ME ALONE ;_;

What has two knees and swims?

A Tunee Fish.

Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

WHAT THE CARP

What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall?

Dam.

What did the ghoti say to the fish?

What's the difference between a piano and a fish?

You can tune a piano but you can't Tuna fish!

*Buh-dum tzzch*

So a baby seal walks into a club...

Gosh, those baby seals are just such party animals. They always seem to know where the best places to go clubbing are.

If they made a movie starring the Loch Ness monster and the shark from Jaws, what would the movie be called?

Loch Jaws.

-Nukaya

What do you call a fish with no eye?

Fsh.

~B~

so a lobster walks into a bar

orders a drink

sits and talks with the bartender for a while about various things irrelevant to the joke

gets ready to leave

bartender says "you planning on driving home?"

lobster says "yeah"

bartender says "you really shouldn't do that"

because it's a lobster

How do you know how much a fish weighs?

By its scales.

"Now that was a knee-slapper!"

WHAT THE CARP

Boy, aren't we so clever.

Bypassing the word filter isn't allowed. Consider this a warning.

PHIL STOP WINNING.

What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?

...One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

+246,023 Dokkypoints