Meh. All Canada's good for is maple syrup and the invention of hockey. The Grinch made his attack on all the Whos down in Whoville, not the North Pole, and all other threats to Christmas have come either from the various clauses that have to do with Santa (Santa Clause, Mrs. Clause, and Escape Clause, which I'm sure you've heard of), and problems with the weather. (See Rudolph)

Perhaps the only threat towards attacking Santa's organization would be the Abominable Snowman, but he's helping put toppers on Christmas trees now, isn't he? (See Rudolph again.)

So yeah, outside delicious maple syrup (which is topped by Vermont and New Hampshire's syrup anyway) and hockey, Canada is nowhere near as awesome as the USA.

P.S. And Canada only gets Canadian mail addressed to Santa. America handles American mail, because American kids just write:

Of course, that shows we're not all that impressive as far as grammar goes, but we're still more awesome than Canada, even in hockey. (*cough*Blackhawks*cough*)

This can not beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

*fades into oblivion*

I want our F-35's back

The real North Pole is in Alaska... the Canadian one is just a decoy. (Well, technically, you guys do have the magnetic north pole, but Santa couldn't work there; the magnetic interference would mess up the elves' machinery)

Besides, the Polar Express was an American locomotive. That means the US is obviously in charge of Santa's Public Relations, and thus started the Polar Express to help kids believe in Santa.

Okay, let me just stop you right there, LewaLew, and point out some of the egregious mistakes you made in those comments.

1) I think someone needs to watch the video of Tom Brokaw explaining Canada to Americans.

2) Obviously Santa is accompanied by the Canadian Air Force to prevent things like Tim Allen from killing Santa as well as Grinches coming along to undo all his hard work.

3) Had you read the article, you would know that Alert doubles as a weather monitoring station, to ensure that Foggy Christmas Eves are no longer an issue.

4) If you've watched any TV in December, you would know that the Abominable Snowman is the least of their concerns. How about every villain in every children's show ever? We've had to fight them off in droves.

5) If Vermont and New Hampshire's maple syrup is truly superior, how come Canada produces 80% of the world's supply of syrup and is world renown for it? Canada exports $145 million CAD worth of syrup a year. Explain to me under which basis you have deemed American syrup to be better.

6) Canada Post runs an international program, helping Santa answer one million letters from children all around the world in 26 different languages. To put that in perspective, the U.S. Postal Service's version of this answers only 150 000 letters. I think we know where Santa truly lives.

7) You are aware that 65% of the players on the Chicago Blackhawks are Canadian, right?

8) Explain to me how anyone in the United States travels to the North Pole by train without traversing Canadian railroads.

Okay, let me just stop you right there, LewaLew, and point out some of the egregious mistakes you made in those comments.

 

1) I think someone needs to watch the video of Tom Brokaw explaining Canada to Americans.

 

2) Obviously Santa is accompanied by the Canadian Air Force to prevent things like Tim Allen from killing Santa as well as Grinches coming along to undo all his hard work.

 

3) Had you read the article, you would know that Alert doubles as a weather monitoring station, to ensure that Foggy Christmas Eves are no longer an issue.

 

4) If you've watched any TV in December, you would know that the Abominable Snowman is the least of their concerns. How about every villain in every children's show ever? We've had to fight them off in droves.

 

5) If Vermont and New Hampshire's maple syrup is truly superior, how come Canada produces 80% of the world's supply of syrup and is world renown for it? Canada exports $145 million CAD worth of syrup a year. Explain to me under which basis you have deemed American syrup to be better.

 

6) Canada Post runs an international program, helping Santa answer one million letters from children all around the world in 26 different languages. To put that in perspective, the U.S. Postal Service's version of this answers only 150 000 letters. I think we know where Santa truly lives.

 

7) You are aware that 65% of the players on the Chicago Blackhawks are Canadian, right?

 

8) Explain to me how anyone in the United States travels to the North Pole by train without traversing Canadian railroads.

1) Who's Tom Brokaw?

2) If the Canadian Air Force follows to protect him, how did Buzz Lightyear Tim Allen succeed in killing him? And how'd the Grinch succeed in stealing from all the Whos?

3) The Weather Station can't stop them, only warn about them. And it's really not necessary, because Rudolph is always there anyway.

4) Nope. All the other villains are beaten by Hero Factory. Which is actually from a Danish company, so it doesn't help either cause.

5) I don't know. Some nut from New England told me that, and I only trust Americans. Granted, a Canadian friend of mine obviously said otherwise, but I don't really care--they all taste good. Much better than the stuff made from corn syrup.

6) Of course we know where Santa lives--New York City. On 34th Street, as declared by Miracle on 34th Street.

7) 75% of the entire NHL is Canadian. But even if it is true, I never fail to plug my Chicago sports teams.

8) It's a MAGIC train.

1) Former NBC news anchor, now an NBC Special Correspondent. I recommend you look up the video.

2) Why do you think they started following him in the first place?

3) There's more than just fog in the North Pole, you know.

4) Wrong planet.

5) Obviously he's biased. Don't go making claims you can't back up.

6) The title of the film is actually in reference to a Macy's on 34th street. I don't believe the film ever establishes where he lives.

7) I don't blame you.

8) Fair enough.

I just realized something

Santa is colored red and white because of the Canadian flag

1) Former NBC news anchor, now an NBC Special Correspondent. I recommend you look up the video.

 

2) Why do you think they started following him in the first place?

 

3) There's more than just fog in the North Pole, you know.

 

4) Wrong planet.

 

5) Obviously he's biased. Don't go making claims you can't back up.

 

6) The title of the film is actually in reference to a Macy's on 34th street. I don't believe the film ever establishes where he lives.

 

7) I don't blame you.

 

8) Fair enough.

1) I will. Maybe. When I have time.

2) They started escorting him before The Santa Clause was made. Of course, they only do it through Canadian airspace.

3) For that, Santa's sleigh has newly installed windshield wipers.

4) Hero Factory uses Drop Ships to quickly transport heroes through space to protect Santa. B)

5) Actually, he was very biased. I mentioned the idea once and he gave a fifteen minute or so monologue on New England's syrup superiority. But I'll have to go have some pancakes to decide.

6) Yeah it does. In a Retirement Home somewhere in New York. But right now he's in Macy's anyway.

EDIT: That's not why, Taka-Tahu-Nuva. It was an American who gave him the red and white suit. Before that, the Europeans all depicted him with a green coat, and green is clearly not the "in" color, as far as Santa is concerned.

But since this is all ultimately just part of the ongoing Canadian plot to take over the world, doesn't this mean that Canada also has the power to end Christmas whenever they want to?

 

~~END~~

No, because they would have to attack Alaska, and thus the United States would have to declare war on Canada, and I'm sure the rest of the world wouldn't be too happy with Canada at that point either.

Canadians are too smart to incite World War III, aren't they?

And if Canadians want to take over the world, first they have to convince the US population to start liking hockey instead of baseball, and Canadian Football instead of American Football.

That's not happening anytime soon.

(Although I do like hockey, and though I do dislike American football, I still like baseball and dislike Canadian football)

But since this is all ultimately just part of the ongoing Canadian plot to take over the world, doesn't this mean that Canada really just established that base so that they can end Christmas whenvever they want to?

 

~~END~~

End? No. Hold ransom for insane amounts of money? Perhaps.

But since this is all ultimately just part of the ongoing Canadian plot to take over the world, doesn't this mean that Canada also has the power to end Christmas whenever they want to?

 

~~END~~

No, because they would have to attack Alaska, and thus the United States would have to declare war on Canada, and I'm sure the rest of the world wouldn't be too happy with Canada at that point either.

 

Canadians are too smart to incite World War III, aren't they?

 

And if Canadians want to take over the world, first they have to convince the US population to start liking hockey instead of baseball, and Canadian Football instead of American Football.

 

That's not happening anytime soon.

 

(Although I do like hockey, and though I do dislike American football, I still like baseball and dislike Canadian football)

We're already hard at work infiltrating your other spheres of entertainment. Do the names Seth Rogen and Justin Beiber ring any bells? I'm pretty sure we can take over the world by culture. Sid Meier wouldn't lie about that sort of thing, would he?

Justin Beiber

How is that supposed to get me to support Canada?

EDIT: That's not why, Taka-Tahu-Nuva. It was an American who gave him the red and white suit. Before that, the Europeans all depicted him with a green coat, and green is clearly not the "in" color, as far as Santa is concerned.

Pfff, semantics.

Justin Beiber

How is that supposed to get me to support Canada?

It's not. It's supposed to get us complete and utter control of your girls between the ages of 9 and 12.

Justin Beiber

How is that supposed to get me to support Canada?

It sounds to me more like a reason to outright hate Canada.

But I have Canadian friends who are cool, so I'll somehow ignore that Beiber is Canadian.

EDIT @ SPIRIT: My sisters between the ages of 9 and 12 hate him too. And it really doesn't help anyway to have the 9 and 12 year-old girls on your side when the rest of humanity hates Beiber.

Justin Beiber

How is that supposed to get me to support Canada?

It's not. It's supposed to get us complete and utter control of your girls between the ages of 9 and 12.

You can have them; they're the Twilight fans, too.

Let me remind you all that most countries in the world wouldn't even have an airforce if it wasn't for the likes of companies known as Lockheed-Martin Skunk Works, Boeing Aerospace, McDonnell Douglas, Northrop Grumman Corporation, General Dynamics, and General Electric. All of them of course were formed in the United States of America and build the most modern and most sophisticated aircraft in the world like the F-16, F-22, FA-18 Hornet, F-15 Eagle, and the AC-130/C-130 Hercules. Some of these are sent to our allies, like the Canadians, so they can help Santa and Rudolph navigate the cold winter night by using an array of stealth and night vision technologies, also developed in the US.

But of course. We'll call it a joint mission, then.

However in the interest of keeping this debate going, might I direct you to the story of the Avro Arrow: the best fighter plane of the 1950s. Who's to say that they didn't secretly keep the project going?

But of course. We'll call it a joint mission, then.

 

However in the interest of keeping this debate going, might I direct you to the story of the Avro Arrow: the best fighter plane of the 1950s. Who's to say that they didn't secretly keep the project going?

Even so they still only do Canadian airspace. What?--do they not trust their own citizens enough to keep from killing Santa somehow?

And actually NORAD is a joint program between the US and Canada, so it would make sense that their other Santa-related activities are a joint operation as well. Even if they can't make up their mind whether the North Pole refers to North Pole, Alaska or somewhere in Nunavut.

But of course. We'll call it a joint mission, then.

 

However in the interest of keeping this debate going, might I direct you to the story of the Avro Arrow: the best fighter plane of the 1950s. Who's to say that they didn't secretly keep the project going?

Because they use these bad boys now.

Hey, dudes, unless some kind of natural disaster physically splits North America, the U.S. and Canada are stuck next to each other for quite a while, so there's no use hating each other.

Hey, dudes, unless some kind of natural disaster physically splits North America, the U.S. and Canada are stuck next to each other for quite a while, so there's no use hating each other.

Meh, we're bored.

Oh great. Have I ever told anyone how much I sympathize with the Grinch?

Fie upon ye! To now let that unhappy wrench through! For if he doth now go about seeking the ruin of Christmas, then he will never become one with the spirit of Christmas!

-Zarayna

The Canadians are secretly Templars Freemasons, trying to impose their will on us. they are behind the the villainous attempts on Santa, and the rescues as well.