Trad

Here's what I've written so far: The Basic Idea of.... Undivine Comedy The War for BZPower[/url Mata Nui School For Unstoppable Delusional Dimwits That's basically it, but I may be adding more.

The Basic Idea Of…The Hunger GamesWarning: Do not read unless you have read the book or watched the movie.One day in the future, there lived a girl called Katlisp Neverseen.Kantkiss: It’s Kantkiss Neverclean, you stupid.Whatever. Shut up. Anyway, she lived in a very dusty place that mined Coca Cola.District 12 spokesperson: It’s coal.You don’t say. You don’t drink hot Coca Cola, that’s barbaric!District 12 spokesperson: I meant it as in c-o-a-l.Not cold Coca Cola?District 12 spokesperson: No.Well, anyway, that place was known as District 12. Kantkiss lived in a hut near some market called the Knob.Knob Market Person: Door knobs for sale!Kantkiss also lived with her sister, Primjob, her constantly depressed mother, a nanny goat, and a very evil cat called Buttercup, which had watched too much of the Alien franchise.Kantkiss: Get this cat off my face!Kantkiss’s mother: Sigh.Primjob: Come on Buttercup! Come down!Kantkiss’s mother: Moan.Buttercup: HISSSS!Kantkiss mother: Groan.There were 12 districts in all and were rule by this bunch of candy-colored people-Candy people of the Capitol: AAARGH! ANTS! AAAAAAAH!-in a place called the Capitol. Collectively, the districts and the Capitol were known as the nation of Panem-Juneval: Et Circenses!Shut up. There was once a thirteenth district too. But it got blown up in a civil war.People of District 13: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA-KAPLOWEY!And every year, as punishment, this President Snowman decided to get two kids from each district to go and fight in an arena, called…. THE HUNGER GAMES President Snowman: Thy Districts shalt send a pair of chosen children in thy lotto to thy Capitol and there thy children shalt fight to thy death to win honour, luxury, fame and food! Thy event shalt be annual and thy shalt be known as thy HUNGER GAMES!And the lotto was called the Reaping. How apt. So then one the 74th reaping, Primjob was called to go the the arena! *Play dramatic music here*And Kantkiss was like:Kantkiss: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!And then she said:Kantkiss: I VOLUNTEER! I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE!WOW! SO BRAVE! Then this guy called Piper, was selected. Piper: It’s Peeta!Shut up Piper. No one actually cared about him until in the arena. Then later, Midget, Kantkiss’s Friend, gave Kantkiss her mockingperson pin. This was to ensure that Kantkiss won by learning to mock everyone. Then they (Kantkiss and Piper, without Midget) went to the Capitol on a flying train.Flying Train: I think I can fly. I think I can fly.And then they met this guy who was like:Heyrich Avermony: I’m an alcoholic…….And then this lady was like:Ewie Poorpeople: THAT IS MAHOGANY YOU BARBARIANS!After many things happened later, Kantkiss and Piper went into the arena and fought for a bit. Many people died. And Kantkiss met this girl called Run Babyrun. Run helped Kantkiss to throw bees. At people. Especially at their eyes.Some victim: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! BEES! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!SPLOSH!Glugugugugug!But then Run died, and so did some other people.And later in a cave:Piper: I LOVE YOU SO HIDEOUSLY KANTKISS!Kantkiss: Whatever.And she went and mocked this little psychopathic girl who had an obsession with knives. But then this guy, Bash, who was a friend of Run appeared and was like:Bash: WHY DID YOU KILL HER? OH, WHY! WHY?And so the psychopathic girl got maced.And later some wolves which have been mutated came, so Kantkiss and Piper sat on a big horn and were like:Kantkiss and Piper: Ner-ner-de-ner-ner you can’t get us!Very mature of them, I know. So they won the games, but these guys called the Gamemakers, who were a bunch of sore losers were like:Gamemaker: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! YOOOOOOOOOUUUUU! CAAAAAAANNNNNOOOOOOTT! WIIIIIIIINNNNNNNN!So Kantkiss said:Kantkiss: Fake eating these poisonous blueberries!And Piper said:Piper: Do you know I love you so hideously?And then they won the games and went home on the flying train. And President Snowman was like:President Snowman: GRRRRRRAAAAAAH! The End! Yes, I know, very random, but this is a parody. Like it?

What still no one replying? Is my writing that bad as I thought? Sigh.Come on, someone.The War of BZPower-Chapter OneThe Hacker: BSLqe;skfgseofcasd/awifqewkfcnewbfunfcnsenkfnej I’m ending this right now, nighty night you lovely annoya-daehfewdfuhuhouasnhu##$##?f#FFCWEK@#G$EGEFOICewjifninbusdabyubvhjBHbiDBhbAdmin: OK, now that we have regained control let’s return to the story.Location: Trad’s Studio*CREAK**SHUFFLE SHUFFLE SHUFFLE SQUISH!*??: OH YUCK WHAT DID I JUST STEP ON?!Rie: Surprise! Happy Birthday! Enjoy your cake?Cleaner: I’m not the boss! I haven’t even seen him for ages! Where’s my money?Rie: Wait, you’re the cleaner?Cleaner: You deaf?Rie: No. But where is he?Cleaner: Why are you asking me? I here for my wages and I want them now!Rie: Fine! Now shut the karz up and do what you’re supposed to, which is clean! Then you’ll get your money!Cleaner *muttering*: This is the future generation?Rie: I heard that!Location: A warehouse in the outskirts of the Comedies sectionHUP TWO THREE STAB! HUP TWO THREE STAB! HUP TWO THREE STAB!Trad *In a fake glasses and mustache mask*: OK. So, Plushies.Emissary: I know, very old fashioned. But imagine! The perfect workers! They don’t complain, they need no rest and they need no food!Trad*Adjusts his mask*: Isn’t what our present generation is like these days?Emissary: No, they still need food.Trad: Well, they’re like data zombies. They live on data.Emissary: Who’s the emissary here?Trad: You.Emissary: Then I suggest you keep your mouth shut or we’ll call off the transaction.Trad: Fine. *Pauses* Is that why you wear that stupid hat?Location: Trad’s StudioRie :*Shuffling through Trad’s papers* There has to be something that explains why he’s missing. I’ve seen enough CSI to learn that.Cleaner: Also that DNA testing always works for some reason?Rie: WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!Cleaner: Same to you. I’m cleaning.Rie: I’m searching for answers. Wait, what’s this?“Dear Trad,We’ve been receiving news that an army has assembled somewhere outside the comedy section. Go check it out. It might be important in ending the war.Yours annoyingly,Querida.”Querida… Really, do you have to send him on suicidal missions to end this war?Cleaner: Of course. This is what I do every day.Rie: I was talking to a hypothetical person, not you.Cleaner: But I am Querida.Rie: Pull the other leg.Cleaner/Querida: Oh, really! *Slams the table, causing it to turn into stone.*Rie: Great. Our cleaner is Querida in disguise. What else can possibly go wrong?BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP*Dramatic shwoop as everyone’s eyes fall onto the phone on Trad’s desk.*Querida: Pick it up, girl! Quick!Rie: *Picks up the phone as it is a venomous snake, while muttering about old lazy biddies* H…Hello????: *breathes*Rie: *breathes*Querida: *breathes and motions for the phone*??? : Who’s the hostage taker here?Querida: *Breathes*???: Fine. Querida, if you are listening to this, well, *laughs malevolently* Trad has been captured.Querida: Who is this????: An Emissary of The Hacker, of course. But I didn’t say that.Querida: Oh. Let him go.Emissary: When pigs fly.Querida: But they do. In the world where I come from at least.Emissary: Ah... Change it into when morons fly. *Hangs up*In another part of BZPower:Toa Huava: Disappear, you Muaka!PUNT!Morons: Aiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiai! Wesa flying!*Back in Trad's Studio*Querida: Hello? HELLO?! *hangs up the phone*Rie: Who was that?Querida:An Emissary of The Hacker. Trad's in a spot of trouble. He's been captured.Rie: You made him go on a suicide mission, and he gets captured? Do you know how cruelly they will treat him?Querida: I know! Now shut up and let me think. Why don’t you go and get a group of people to rescue him and the others instead?Rie: Fine! *Grabs a board and storms out.*Querida: Wait, what did I say? Karzahni…RIE! COME BACK!

IC:"Well..." Madness stood up and walked to the werewolf, rubbing his temples and allowing himself to relax. He looked into the werewolf's eyes. They had a contemptuous look in them. "I suppose we could do this the easy way, or the hard way." Madness said in a cold tone. "The hard way involves me driving you insane. The easy way is that I read your mind. If you struggle," here Madness gave a cold smile, "I'll make it as painful as I can."

[/b] The War for BZPowerAuthor: TradStatus of your comedy: BeginningChapters to be reviewed: 1This comedy's prologue might seem a bit too dark.

You live so close that everywhere you go, you step on a brick. Make that three bricks for each step.I wish I was Skulduggery Pleasant.

Oh, look. I have another blog. I wonder how would this turn out. Would it crash and burn, or will it rise? WAIT. WHY AM I TYPING THIS? Ah never mind. Let me just rant a lot. And while I'm typing this, I'm listening to a too loud song. And at the same time, wondering what to type next.

The War for BZPower-Prologue“WILL YOU ALL BE QUIET!” yelled Querida, slamming her hands on the wooden mahogany table. There was a loud bang and smoke rose from magefire that scorched the table. Some of the closet pyromaniacs gathered in the crowded conference room liked the smell immensely.“But I was trying to say-” began lots of other people.“Another peep out of one of you,” said Querida through gritted teeth, “And whoever it is spends the rest of his life as a snake!”Most of the people immediately went quiet, although there were a few mumbles of how much a relief might being a snake be. A glare from Querida was enough to shut them up.Querida possessed what you might call an aura of menace. Although she was small, wrinkled, greenish and from another world, she was a force to be reckoned with. Even both the Haporis were in awe of her.Some people still went on talking, ignoring the threat. “…the Comics section is under siege by the newbies. Some comic makers have gone missing. We fear that they might have been held to ransom or have defected to their side…” droned on one famous comic maker’s hologram.“We BZPRPGers had no choice but to surrender,” said a famous general’s hologram from the BZPRPG section. His voice took on a grim tone. “They have herded our people into camps and are killing us systematically.” He frowned. “There is a Resistance movement, but we have limited funds and weapons. We need help-” the hologram suddenly fizzled out.All eyes turned to a headset-wearing Matoran in shock, who swiftly manipulated some keys on his laptop and grimaced. “They can’t trace us, but have disabled the communications in and out of that place.”Querida stood up. Her hands were shaking and she gripped the table so hard that her knuckles turned white. Her eyes had bags under them due to the lack of sleep. She gave a small cough and indicated Hapori Tohu. “Hapori Tohu, if you will, please provide us the gist of your letters.” She indicated the second smallest hologram.As all eyes turned to Hapori Tohu, for the first time in his life, he felt nervous. This is what it must be like for mortals, he thought. Only this time, I’m the mortal one.He felt the sweat beading down his face and it was so cold. He gulped and felt a bubble of laughter rising up his throat. Recognizing it somehow as hysteria, he began his speech, only to stutter. “W-we…”Hapori Dume quickly came to his brother’s rescue. “Querida, I do apologize.” He picked up Tohu’s broken speech and began again, leaning on the table and looking at everyone venomously. “We have been exiled from Paradiso. Our people have been forced to live off the land and although we can hold the hackers back for some time, it would not last forever as our people need food, water and other resources fast. You must be aware, Querida-”Querida’s hands went up. “I am aware of that, Hapori Dume. Now, since we have already reached crisis point, as shown by the pile of letters here-” Here she indicated the pile of letters on the sagging table, “-we need to end this war quickly, or else BZPower would be lost.”“And have you found a way?” asked V3f3 eagerly.“There is no way.” replied Querida curtly.The disappointment and rage in the room rose to new heights as everyone gathered in the conference room shouted “WHAT?” as one.“I knew it. Querida’s a useless ######!” yelled a hotheaded Toa of Fire, when he suddenly gasped and shrunk into a snake.The room immediately went quiet, save for the hissing of the snake-Toa. All eyes swiveled to Querida who was pointing her finger at the Toa who had just swore. She looked far better than before.“I haven’t finished yet,” she said. “There is no way, which I can think of, that would shorten this war. Should I remind you that we are currently trapped in the forums and that we cannot attack That Hacker since we don’t know who he is? ”“But he’s not mortal.” piped up Turaga Narka.“And so aren’t we, and anyway, I hear he has been grooming some apprentices to take his place one day.” whispered Turaga Gans to Turaga Narka, who shuddered.Hapori Dume’s eyes darted to both Turagas in warning. “Don’t say anything of that sort outside of this room. It may be untraceable, but if That Hacker detects anything said about him like that…” He made a sharp movement with his hand across his throat.“Can I finish?” said Querida. “As I said before, there is no way which I can think of to end this war quickly, but I propose we start recruiting new people, people with fresh ideas.” She surveyed the room. Everyone was staring at her, with confusion in their faces. Some of them were still murmuring and some of them spoke out.“And how do you propose that we recruit them and how’s that going to change anything?!” shouted one.“They will come of their own accord. Some of them we will reach out to. Also, we need all the help we can get.” replied Querida. “Now, if no one has any objections, I suggest we all return to our respective sections.”Everyone silently shuffled out of the conference room.As we end on a sombre note, let me explain some things.BZPower Forums is under attack. Again.This time it's a hacker. No one know who it is, only this time he's far worse than the others before him. He has already wrested control of some of the sections. The BZPRPG section has fallen, along with a few others.Now, if you're wondering why is this considered a comedy, this is just a prologue. The actual story hasn't started yet.If you want to join this comedy, fill this in and PM it to me.Name:Species:Powers:Weapons:Personality:Other Info:Good/Evil:Section of The Forums:Would you like to write a chapter? [Y/N]:

The monsters could be immune to magic or something?Why do Ergas need to actually war if they have been publicly insulted? Diplomacy could smooth many things over. Maybe they have been blockaded or declared as freaks of nature for using magic?

IC:Ire aimed a kick, no make that ten kicks, at Turaga Lokhare.

IC:"Jocasta can pretty much take care of herself, so if you want my help..." he shrugged. "I'm free."And maybe I can clear my name if I help them.

IC:"Jocasta? Jocasta? What's happening?" yelled Madness. He terminated the call and turned to Gadgeteer. "She's not responding, but I can ask someone else."

IC:Only if you want to let the island suffer, thought Katis. She didn't say it aloud however.Ire had no such qualms. "But maybe we can dissect him to find how he died? What if this is a mystery plague or something?"

IC: Jocasta's Phone Call"London. Don't come. I'm in ........*static*"

I like it. But I have a question. Are we allowed to have more than one characters?And also, can I create a new character purely for this RPG?

IC:"Who? I don't know anything about her, but I know someone who probably does. Trouble is, she could be anywhere on this planet now, but I 'll give her a call." replied Madness.Jocasta was hiding, for goodness' sakes, hiding, when her cell rang. Surprisingly. It should have fallen apart from the battle, but luckily it didn't. She answered it, glad for the distraction from her current predicament"Jocasta? Where in the world are you?" came Madness' s voice. Just the last person she would wish to hear from.

And they say that the lessons were tough. I want to be squire. Some people used them for ambushes once.

IC:"I'm a Solo Hero. And can't I take a lift back home from that...bar? Drunk driving's illegal, you know." said Madness. "I suppose we are playing Twenty Questions?"

Er... Hello? Did my post go invisible or something?

IC:"Turaga Lokhare?" asked Ire. "What do we do now?" she asked, indicating the dead body of Voi.

IC:"Obviously, I'm a psychic." Madness said, smiling. "Right now, you can call me Madness. My alias is Mentalist." Maybe these people haven't heard the most recent news.Meanwhile, Jocasta ran. The jackers sent by Johanna were coming after her, fast, and she had no way to fight them off. But maybe...She quickly ran into the elevator and pulled off one of the wooden panels, revealing a keypad. She typed in an access code and it spat out a gun. She took it and went out of the elevator at the ground floor.

IC:"That's funny. I'm in a chair. Last I remember, I was on a wing of a jet." mumbled Madness blurrily."And the jet is a League jet. And I am possibly an outlaw." he sat up and looked around. In another part of the jet, he could hear people talking.He slumped down and tried to empty his mind. Best to recover slowly, since the mind was a fragile thing.And in London, Jocasta thought she heard a whirring of things that have metallic wings. She stood and looked around for a handy crowbar.