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Mushy the Mushroom

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  1. Mushy the Mushroom
    (I would like to preface this by apologizing if posting off-brand brick creations isn’t allowed. I am sorry if not. This is probably so wrong, but I’m afraid it would be bothersome to ask.)
    I rediscovered the old dungeon castle MB bricks while sorting through the childhood Lego tote. The MB’s had not been used in years, and so many miscellaneous things had migrated into that box. K'nex, random tools, rubbish, doodles of Toad, office supplies, and those utility building pieces from monopoly city that no one missed. This was the first time this box had ever been cleaned out/sorted. Dirt. ._.
    (The Mindstorms dog selfie booth inspired a re-attempt.)
     (These photos are terribly dated now that it’s December.)
     It’s certainly not the pastel Lego flower shop house I wanted to design for Poppy, but we had enough bricks and added fabric flowers.


     
    Test assembled it for size, it fell apart slightly, then reassembled it with Gorilla glue after the pictures. Also added a central bar in the windows for safety. The MB bricks are abnormally difficult to snap together. Knuckle skin was lost while trying to cram the thing together. Tools were deployed. People don’t like it when you’re hammering indoors at 3 am. 
    Oopssorry.
    Also, after I took the photos, someone informed me that those lovely red leaves were poison sumac. 
    Oops.
    So far, it hasn’t even crumbled upon Pops while she sleeps. 
    Additional useless photo of Pops when she was strongly disliking her new-old-pajama-dress and her new haircut:

    Hope you (and your pets) had a nice Thanksgiving if you celebrated!
  2. Mushy the Mushroom
    Okay, October Oldish Occasions!  Wow! What an existence this beautiful spiral of life is. I guess this is a hello, life update and hopeful return to this lovely internet homey. Trying to see if easier for me to upload embed IG content instead of resizing.  Which made me weirdly more okay with being more goofy on IG posting with main goal of it being for BZP blogging and likely only seen by around 3 humans, haha. 
    October art first, blobbyblogbog below it!
    The doll obsession did indeed overtake my October!
     
    WELL FAIL
    on me figuring out embedding.
    So Ugly links..
    So sorry.
    Does anyone know how?
    to please help?
    if it's possible?
    Me as a tree baby. I was eating the dirt from the rosemary tree planter!? And absolutely enjoying it! Baby Me cravings. Sneaking it repeatedly. Guessing that was a missed nutritional deficiency given my genetic glory. 8.5hrs. Small photo size, mechanical pencil, art fixative, watercolor paper. Done on clipboard while battling my broken body. 🤒🫠 Little gift for my mom. 💚
    First attempt at hammering/murdering 😭 flowers for dyed fabric, not yet sure what to do with this, but, yay Pinterest! I staggered outside waaay back in September to get these, thus shattering me. 😆 I haven’t been outside since aside from in and out for a few car rides. (Edit: now going to make flag decor for the dining room/my new little- soon-to-show-cooknook for this!)
    did I already post this here, haha?
    Culinary crafts! Older content. Spice crumb cake in my misfit sized cake pan stack. Chocolate chip coconut oil muffs with walnut & choc on top. Spice and sweet potato sweet squares, walnut chocolate pastry pods + brekkie granola rounds. Cheddar cheese petite pizzas, I was thrilled to figure out they fit in coffee cans for freezer storage. Olives feel luxurious. Light and fluffy butter loaves (actually oil because $) that were altered from a Texas Roadhouse roll recipe and this a bit stubby. Horizontal slicing to the rescue & flash frozen on trays as always. Grateful to have grabbed our four lovely loaf pans when we left. Oven Naan breads, a fan of the King’s (KAF brand) recipes I am!
    Random barely conscious to be honest foodprep and bakes for my mom’s meals. Also, a few “flops”-attempts at making recipes my body didn’t reject absolutely. Some were yum but not very pretty! I Apologize for your eyes. 🙈 Bakes on the treat trolley for fieldwork and fire starting family friends. Choc walnut for my mom, made sugarsub/free cheesecake for broken pancreas me! Peanut butter frosted nutter bars + gingersnap brownies for my mom. Weird colorful vegetable dishes everywhere because trying to for-dr document the diet and hopefully figure out what things are helping/making me more sick after years of starving and medical complexity. Figuring out wheelchair cooking wasn’t somthing I expected to be so complex. (This was prior to the past few months of my major kitchen rearranging. The goal was to make it wheelchair accessible with the free barn and basement supplies I could find amid major illness stupor/cooking, eating, then trying to survive symptoms afterwards.😂) *THE MOST IMPORTANT CONTENT HERE: Pic with my adorable tiny baby Alice-in-wonderland“dessert” spoon from the new set my mom ordered upon my dream request. She’s the best ❤️
    When your mom’s work gently demands a family photo and you initially are repelled, then realize it’s a great opportunity for family photos… AKA to let your happy weirdo show (?girl autism? Some day…we shall officially know!?)Life’s too short and sweet for taking oneself too seriously, according to me at least! …Sorry Mom and thanks for going along. 😆🌻 Featuring my mom’s green grandchildren, and all the normalness of our existence. Doll clothes, some of the human clothes, and wreaths concocted by me. Bee costume for another doll longago, yellow bloom circa 2021. Foam sheet Sunshine sign for pretending this thing was by design. I think these were in September or October, my brain is a bit of a shell from being this unwell. Regretting not going fully faceless on these because I prefer hiding behind my alien children 💚😂.
     
    (Wrote it bit ago/old info, but actually wore this for the 3rd total time today for a dr apt!) Wish I’d gone faceless- oh well, still surviving and smiling is a celebration!? Saltwater Taffy Striped Sweater! Which prompted plush phamily photos, of course! 😆 💕My mom’s weave work! Indescribable gratitude💕She just finished it, started the knit in spring 2022 for me! Shocking it fits, I’ve lost 30lbs since due to severe sickness. (Hoping such photos won’t highlight my facial skinniness🫣. if I’m honest I was fighting my own body for 4hrs on the floor after food ingestion on the day I photographed this. Typically it’s only a daily two hour post meal mess, now thankfully (desperate experimentation with my already owned Medication ). Trusting there is some higher purpose to this) Skirts and rose headband made by me prior, fur vest was a gift, glasses are just blue shades. Ballet shoes from a brief period of life when I was pre-diagnosed and tried excitedly to live, walk and move normally. Great for wheelchair use since not much need for sturdy shoes 😂. Shasta (boy baby Yoda)’s jacket selfdrafted & made by me for 18” dolls long ago, his deer sweater knit by my mom for another plush, and his tiny pseudo hat a random crochet by me. His corduroy shirt is actually a little sack bag, a gift from my mom’s coworker! Luna (girl baby Yoda)’s ballet inspired outfit is more 18” outfit stuff I made long ago. Grateful for unexpected fit!Mum (more than just a bear)’s styling my babyhood burgundy #winniethepooh dress, my childhood necklace + turtle bracelet + a ballet “bun cover” bought longago but taken for doll hats instead. Mum’s cape is actually a ballet skirt by me. #Toadstool stool a repaint by me. My new pink room has made me incredibly happy..even if I barely go up there due to being an ambulatory user of my wheelchair! PS I really wanted to make red dino & fancy ballerina costumes for my children to go with this, but don’t want to waste my tiny bit of energy on stuff for me. Update; Have worn outfit 1 total times when flung from my fungi forest for physical sig’ needs for social security. Hard to justify the “fancy” of it when 1 messy and forgetful homehobbit!
    Candy corn caricatures of my mom and I from the glory of random craft trash, discount Go Grocery Avocado hot sauce bottles,their random black bags as a backdrop, and electric tape eyes. Salt lamp gift from family friends 🧡 The heights are accurate when I’m wheeling, haha.
    My magnificent mom went along with morning-baked cookie delivery for friends and family. I tried to ride along for delivery, an almost unheard of thing for me to leave the mushroom kingdom at all , but nobody was home and I physically crashed too soon. My mom made the many treat taxi trips the next noon for me, for I can never repay she!
    @SPIRIT!!! May I tag to thank you overexcitedly with many virtual dance-a-happy? If not wanting to be involved in my weirdness I'll remove this! Thank you again for your genius! Every few-and-far-between human who enters the home sees it first thing and happiness it brings! EDIT:added the most important pic with their paper thank u sign sorry it’s shadowy/sunny bleached a bit hahaha
     
    The Woodermelon! Brilliantly named by a kind internet citizen upon viewing the original nameless creation. Many thanks to them and I must soon share with them. It has a baby now too thanks to more tree cutting, haha! My mom also finally finished putting buttons on the back of Baby Yoda’s sweater she made also two years ago! 

     
     
    Already posted on BZP but oh well, IG transfers! Small kitten of a forum friend! Thanks for allowing sharing! 5x7 from July 2023. I have lost so much memory so my own art is now surprising me, haha. 17hrs- was very slow and distracted this time and am so sorry for its resulting scratchiness! Honoring noble Bob. Pencil, mechanical pencil, and art fixative spray.
     
    Apologies if unwated tagging here-can remove happily if any of ye request!
    Shoutout to BZP bro @Bambifor remembering BZP birthday best wishes while I was barely alive! Thanks again! Coda (Anatolian Shepherd) 8x10” finished in September. 17.5hrs (mid medical episode art so snailstyle 😂). Pencil, mech’ pencil on watercolor paper. Thanks bunches to @otterfor allowing sharing (and for not minding lack of permission to pencil the pretty pet!).
    (I am trying very hard to remember which of these drawings I’ve already posted, so sorry I’m repeat posting from the edit-illnes-rabbit hole haha. Also for accidental screenshot in swipes. 🙈) “Graphite bites!” Things from my mind while fighting body for dear life -because clipboard power haha (and questioning my power to finish anything in such hours) 3x3 watercolor + mechanical pencil drawing. 5hrs. Birthday (fancy pilot?) cat for my bro shipped off in a before-made birthday bonsai box with sausage and squiddies because why not! ❤️ Cannot for the life of me keep up with where he’s living, so shoutout to him for tolerating 20 accidental sends of a creepy questioning GIF. 😂
    “Graphite bites!” Bunny Snow for Mom! 3x3 watercolor + mechanical pencil drawing. 5.5 hrs. Accidentally was eaten by a origami paper and paint-chip turkey for a tiny thanksgiving gift! And finally an opportunity a pop a petite present out too, a prior made Birdy ornament inspired by her on thanks-day morn ❤️And just of me trying to wrap stuff from the trunk of thingies I collect randomly amid struggling at self propelling on a weak wheel day. 😂
     
    Sorting content in an attempt to awaken from the amnesia of the past six month sick-stupor. Today is a good day, the best since another ER trip a few weeks ago (I have officially lost count of the ER trips I’ve made for new changing different issues over my life haha..and keep all my medical bracelets in a garland chain because in all things there can be beauty 😂)I give thanks {..} and send sunshine your way, sorry for spamming and thanks for tolerating me all 3 of you here. 😂❤️Big little things that made bleak days blessings back in fall ❤️ Our new aunt Jane’s kindness is too vast to explain. Bedding! Girl bedding, that unplanned matched my new room perfectly like all my childhood magazine dreams! (Hi from Mr. Mooseykins..yes that’s what I named him 😂) And her sweet seasonal sewing send overs. And a lilac rose from family friends certainly delighted my alien children! I have a problem with turning everything into hats, but perhaps there’s no harm in that? Oh, and my new NON-prescription mobility aid from mom’s store for when I journey to the top of the stairs on occasions rare! Tiny lantern to avoid insomniac wheelchair crashes haha. And my dream -doll size spoons that I daily use (?autism thing?)! Thanks to mom supporting splendid strangeness of my highly specific dream request. And ER fun in October. Those bed poles will forever be lowly worm.

    So missed it here since a lifetime ago in September!
    When somehow my everyday existence became a blur as I survived full blown falling into a rabbit hole without medical care (yet tons of prestigious doctors at Duke-who abandoned my case, ignored every near death plea for advice, said go to an ER-where the Mission hospital ER would discharge me, EDIT FEB 20 I just Google that place and found this hahaha (:https://wlos.com/news/local/mission-hospital-ncdhhs-report-details-patient-deaths-injuries-delays-care-asheville-health-centers-medicare-medicaid-immediate-jeopardy) still paralyzed and look at my limp body like I was lazy/wasting their resources and send a 7,000 bill that my cashier mom would try to pay ) and tried to retain consciousness in ER situations on a daily basis. Looking back at these months, it’s a miracle I’m alive. And my mom hasn’t absolutely lost her mind witnessing this. To be honest, I didn’t think I’d make it to 2024, I don’t think anyone did. I basically had accepted after the Jan 15 2023 stroke that I was unofficially on Hospice stuck on our couch and trying to make the best of it. In July I was tired of this, years of starving yet surviving due to my complex sickness. I decided to eat. Instead of controlling my symptoms by starving and waiting on Dulke diagnostic aid. I underestimated how severe the results of this would be, and am pretty amazed by the years of function prior achieved by miserable starving to control my diseases.  
    Not that getting in like 400-600 calories a day was much more than starving. Along with the daily 4hrs of fluid loss, writhing, hyperglycemia and that stranded me in a certain room that began to feel like a prison cell exactly 1hr after I dared bite into some delicious broth, vegetables, meat-or anything. 
    I was chugging two 2 liter bottles of electrolytes within an hour on the floor writhing…while my glucose was over 200 on no carbs while the fluid loss, LUQ pain, face flushing, etc raged. Every single day. An hour after eating, precisely-waiting to pounce on me. Clipboard art and crafts to cope while turning on The Frey Life videos on a shattered phone via YT. Wondering how other people live. Realizing how horrifying my own quality of life has been for years. Hoping to gain some insight on how human beings in a safe home life/environment on a daily basis live. What it even means to have a family support system. 
    There is a lot I don’t remember. There was a lot of lying on the floor, feeling possessed by some raging pain monster. Lots of being so weak I was barely managing to propel my wheelchair home alone. But not like anyone was there to help-my mom had to work or we’d both starve without having any social/family/medical support aid.
     
    In like, September, on a week so weak I was wondering if it was my last,  I rolled to the med drawer and grabbed my discontinued use Plaquenil for my UCTD, Undifferentiated connective tissue disease. 
    I started taking x4 the dose, 800mg. Have you ever been desperate to live? The daily GI fluid loss was cut to 2hrs daily instead of 4. My glucose wasn’t as bad. I told my good Duke rheumatologist and since then I've been prescribed 400 mg daily. The few  pubmed articles  I glanced at later support my positive experience with trying this- if I do have some form of endocrinology/cancer disease. 
     
    The horrors persisted, but more manageably. In October I got very excited and blasted Christmas music, decided to undertake doing a “real Christmas” this year in our new 101yr old family home! Because 2023 was the year of “home/life setup/seasonal decor totes/wow, normal moms have these things but mine never could”. So I started planning the holiday decor designs and working away on turning our old ornaments and junk in our Christmas trunk into things matching and new. I did a lot of ornament painting via the bathroom floor, (I have zero personal pride at admitting this, it kept me alive in such hours while unable to get ongoing medical care). . 
    My mom was trying to get me applied for Medicaid whilst the free-till won disability/SSI lawyer was still trying to prove I was incapable of surviving myself and needed SSI probably forever given Ehlers Danlos alone. My mom first applied me in mid 2022. My insurance ran out in January 2024 and my mom likely couldn’t afford to add me on hers at work. So we waited. I’ve been on Duke full financial aid for years, but also parent insurance deductible payment stuff and ER bills on them/now just Mom.
     
    Mom-She finally got legally divorced in October ‘23, so grateful. What a wreck.  Exdad still won’t sign over the retirement bit, or her mom’s inheritance car to her so it’s a nice lawn ornament, haha. The car on which he canceled the insurance on in late July-stopping us from driving legally, forcing her to buy a new old car,  stopping my mom from renewing its insurance it not having the title of it,  & stopping getting med help for me for the new daily ER fluid loss emergency. He didn’t know this stranded me into a life threatening crisis. He didn’t/doesn’t know this. I shudder at the scales of justice, so thankful to have survived it. So strange to me that someone like him would be sent a disabled child-He so often cruelly said to people “Did your parents have any kids who survived to adulthood? Bet they regret that!”...I have somehow, thankfully been one such personage surviving so far to this age, in spite of every arrow aimed at me. And found out in such situations there are endless ways to be personally happy-It’s an inside job! . I’m not even surprised any of this was done. Weird how you can see so much sadness it becomes easy not to even react.Anyway, sorry, hope it doesn’t sound angry- I’m not,  just the unfortunate events in a chronologically current recording.
    Takin' a drive, I was an ideal
    Looked so alive, turns out I'm not real
    Just something you paid for
    What was I made for?
     Some day those legal papers will come, perhaps, but tisn’t exactly pressing. Each time anything moved on the legal stuff it was a backwards breakdown stress spiral for my mom. I am grateful to say these horrors are now over, and things are much better!  Now we can happily go on living, as if certain people in life don’t exist, without being every sec’ reminded of it, each conversation being about it,  and go on enjoying that things are at last settled, safe and right. (EDIT: MID FEB ‘24: Car paperwork at last acquired, mom sold the sabotaged lawn ornament at last! Insurmountable gratitude!)
    Medically, nothing was changing except one day I got super hungry, ate a lot of walnuts instead of the just like 500 cal daily meal that nearly killed me. My throat closed and the extra bad face flushing again. The Epi-triggered and resistant “anaphylaxis” again. The whole suspect Carcinoid Crisis again. Since 2020 that ugly thing. ER at Mission hospital, 6 am. Oct 16th. I made medical info cards a week prior because I’m tired of trying to explain my diagnoses. This thing is effective (RIP privacy when sickness shreds the remaining “dignity”. I now have 3 laminated and take to appts. the dysautonomia diagnosis new since September tilt table test. ). . I told my mom to ask for Octreotide. My mom mistakenly thought my allergist had suggested this, told them so . He did not. This was my own research. I could barely breathe much less tell them this. They gave octreotide and my airways opened up. I went home. Allergist appt to rerun allergen labs to be sure, like 1 lab order from my annoyed primary care doctor for the fluid loss. Still not allergy or high Tryptase.

    So my good allergist (guy who found my tick bite Alpha Gal allergy saving my life so long ago), was like “yeah, still looks like carcinoid/a net tumor, especially given this, smart move on the Octreotide!” haha.  So I contacted him later and my good rheumatologist for Duke and UNC GI cancer and new repeat endocrinology referrals for carcinoid/NET tumor/Possible diabetic condition. And UNC approved my mom’s full financial aid application for me! So since I’ve waiting on those to get scheduled some day, a new GI doctor appt at Duke in April (I had to fire the one Duke  GI lady who left me to pretty much die after years of telling me it was surely Celiac disease and “just one more EGD, enteroscopy, etc”.) 
    I still had a useless Duke primary care dr 3hrs away, but we were unsure who to use here given the digital Mychart records needing to be accessible and making sure Medicaid would cover if I was approved. So I waited. 
    My high glucose raged during all this, I’d eat carrots or peas and it would go over 180. Tiny amounts of carbs sending me over 220 and half conscious symptomatically. I tried so many different foods, tried breaking it into two tiny meals to see if the GI got less angry, but nothing. So broth, protein, vegetables, and stevia seasoning became the mainstays while the glucose, face flushing, hyper thirsty, and GI episodes continued to rage on starving level calories. (Like 600 calories daily, robbed of yummy things). Meanwhile my frightening since-September 80-82lb weight just maintained. I’m 5’4”. Prisoner of war aesthetic going on there. Oh well. Alive!
    Thanksgiving!a brief bit about it, i’ll blog content beyond October later, just a general update trying to grasp the spiral of this! I’d barely finished most of the decorations for the day , got to wear the vintage granny clothes I adore from my new 80+ yr old mom’s aunt (weirdness of mom being adopted) and it was wonderful with my mom off-day. We watched livestreams from ActionKid of the Macy’s Parade while eating POPCORN in our new popper & putting up the new upcycled decor by me (later to be blogged). We had such good times. One of the best thanksgivings I remember. Actively FB messenger spamming my brother. Every holiday prior was just the 4 of us and major medically-dietarily restricted/we just didn’t do anything.  Also, prior, my ex dad hated the traditions, seeing his family at holidays, birthdays etc.  and my mom had none aside from her peculiar puppy mill owner estranged mother and prison brother. 
    So getting to celebrate “real family holidays”  in a gloriously nontoxic home environment is not something we’ve really experienced (except for my mom, as a child) before. It was a dream. I finally don’t feel unsafe 24/7! Near heaven! The 2022 thanksgiving prior I tried to pull out our old Xmas decorations but just cried instead over the shambles of our lives. 2023 thanksgiving was a DREAM. We are actually very much recovering and learning to live. If we’re all still around next year, I think it may be ever better! 
    I decided to make a traditional thanksgiving dinner, immediately freezing some dishes for Christmas. Decided to eat tons of whatever and everything I wanted that day, even if I went into a coma. That went SO badly hahaha. I took extra plaquenil. No regrets. Totally threw up. Eating is torture but so worth it.Would do again. I felt so alive, it’s so nice to eat with other people. I had no idea how poor not being able to eat together makes the  “quality of life”. Wrote a disturbing song in the stupor that followed that I’ll later repost, hahaha.
    And then after that Twas all out Xmas mode-still…Making some rushed decor, decorating the new old hold for the first time, trying to color theme each room!, lots and lots of cooking and baking! Pinterest recipe bliss! Planning excitedly for my brother to visit after not being able to for a year. The first time the home wasn’t even fully renovated and we didn’t do much of anything, decor or food wise. This meant unplanned renovations and rearranging of the kitchen to be more disabled/wheelchair friendly to reduce my suffering,haha. 
    The “Cook Nook” was evolving- my cozy cottage closet wheelchair workspace! Such kitchen shuffling. Still a work in progress. (EDIT FEB ‘24..Done!)My mom getting me an instant pot has massively helped me given my inability historically and now especially to stand long at the stovetop. Need to take updated pics and add to this.  Also, I am relearning how to cook via food scale using mostly metric, for ease, fewer dishes, and nutrition calculations. Thanks to King Arthur Flour recipes for encouraging this. I am relearning how to calculate the servings/nutrition on my own recipes and all recipes once again (one day I won’t have to Google nutrition on 3oz raw “x” every time). I did this from 2017-2020 (post severe food allergies + ingredient label checking drama, PICU, hospital) as per my illness and appetite never existed,  and I was scared I’d accidentally lose weight and almost die again. Then in 2020 I just became major sicker, unable to eat enough for a normal creature to live, started gaining weight, then the celiac train wreck began. So all this nutrition content stuff is major Deja Vu. 
    Sometime in December? We found out I got approved for Medicaid , and now it appears to be because the US government has officially accepted that I am disabled/useless in working society. I am so grateful and honestly cannot believe it. It seems like I may not have to show up in virtual SSI court in March now for the disability lawyer to “prove I’m disabled” from showing my medical records that the government already has. (EDIT FEB ‘24: Virtual court date is a day after my b-day, perhaps I can control symptoms enough to eat cheesecake & take sickness a day prior if I completely dehydrate, haha? Yolo or no? )
    So in December the try for local primary ensued. My mom is doing all the paper and scheduling work as usual (cannot Adult). I went to one nice doctor on December 7, broke down crying weirdly over my situation (normally numb to the chronic near death experiences). She was amazing, but couldn’t accept me-I needed an internal Med-Ped doctor to “accept my case” as I was “too medically complex”.  Mom’s Hunt ensued, I got an appt. in the UNC based local system that linked with mychart & their better ER 30 mins away. 
    I went to their ER for labs/my chronic emergency level fluid loss and malnutrition on Dec 13, like: “hi I have no primary care yet please help.” 
    That was useful, hadn’t had labs since September. They’re all rough as one would expect, but I’m managing to keep my electrolytes acceptable with salt cravings, bullion and lemon water. 
    Basically: The internal primary care appt. Finally came! It was, to my horror- a male doctor. I vowed to never have another given a few terrible experiences with them due to my age, gender and being underweight (as if I chose this nightmare-then I blame myself for it,  though it’s not something I can control/fix.). which had been up a full day prior so was very out of it. The ER  labs were useful for them, too. The intern doctor had an intern too, who was very nice and shockingly interested in my load of recent medical notes and since July daily recording diary of my food fluid, med and intake and vitals timebook. The book I made out of desperation trying to figure this out or find someone who could. Shockingly, they gave good advice and accepted my case!  They understood Ehlers-Danlos, amazingly. They asked what I wanted to start on, I begged for help on eating and drinking. He said the human body can process ~20g protein per two hours for muscle building/retaining, and with my weight & intake tolerance being so low I definitely had muscle wasting (I, who only ate 4 slices broth and bread daily-for over two years while desperately waiting on Duke GI doctors to figure out this wasn’t celiac and why food made me so sick). Apparently ill & old people die from bowel necrosis due to muscle wasting in situations like mine. No other doctor ever mentioned lacking protein or muscle wasting making everything worse. Duke doctors gave no aid aside from “I can send you to a dietician if you’d like it”-as if generic advice would aid the unmanageable food reactions. Also, male Dr was awesome not a nightmare. AWESOME. He saw my real actual email which literally contains Sarasbabyducks given my past pets, and he saw that& was like EPIC I RAISED RUNNERS, what breed did you have? Beautiful carcincle Muscovy, Ancona and Pekin were so loved by wee me. Given struggling to verbally communicate my mom also 2nd visit was like “we think she’s autistic- and my doctor IS FORMALLY DIAGNOSED and told me this!? I also found his IG sand apparently is into alternate herbal things & didn’t roast us for desparate experimenting!
    The new doctors don’t know why my glucose is crazy high, and said I was allowed to try carbs with the high protein and see what happens/monitor it.They also bumped the UNC endocrinologist referral up for Carcinoid/NET tumor/possible atypical diabetes and scheduled a six week later progress check-this is unheard of in my life to have ongoing medical follow up, help, or doctors who genuinely care if I live or die. I am so grateful. 
    I also got clearance on my plan to eat YUMMY HOLIDAY FOODs during Christmas week when my bro came and not monitor vitals/anything!  So prior to bro visit,  I embarked (cautiously so Christmas plans wouldn’t be ruined by me being sicker) eating at least 20g x3 daily and increasing my foods/trying some fruits/vegetables I normally get hyperglycemic from.  Shockingly my glucose and GI episodes improved some. It’s so hard initially to learn how much protein’s in what. Then Christmas! The so longed for first real family Christmas in the new old home, fully renovated! Bro came a day later than hoped (traffic), but made it on Xmas eve night! I’ll later blog of it! On Xmas week I tried to eat all the yummy foods unrecorded, mostly! It was a delicious disaster haha. Been Still recording glucose x3 daily, but thankfully not fluids or blood pressure now. That was tons of exhausting work, especially when barely functioning already. Getting back to the protein!...
    This concludes the illness fog written content mostly from goodness knows when! Free to frolic on to editing the somewhat later project photos as a hopeful attempt to reawaken my brain from months of hours-daily medical meltdown endurance without local care access. Grateful to be in this beautiful world, for my mom, Medicaid approval, new Internal Med doctors, and the few pretend friends who perhaps, for some reason, are kind enough to read the ramblings of a happy hermit, sick lunatic. 
    This is where I stopped writing, haha. 
    Current tiny update February ‘24, I’ll fill in gaps later if I get the chance!: Jan. 2 I started some alternative herbs and medications my mom had been considering, given doctors not helping and time running out .Things supported by scientific papers and research, a hopeful cure if carcinoid tumor/pancreatic cancer. 3 herbal pills and 2 fluid meds. My glucose at least is starting to markedly stabilize (FEB update)! Supposing it’s the combined CBD, my DIY-not-to-die plaquenil, tumeric and berberine along with the other high powered liquid thing? The hours of horror fluid loss GI wise are harder to survive as I’m trying to eat more-some days I got in 1000 calories-a miracle for me.  I was in the new awesome UNC ER again Jan 13? after eating in a restaurant for the first time in 6 years-a glorious event for me to leave the home at all! For a funeral of my honorary granny. Backed up to my ribs despite chronic fluid loss-surprising and why it’s like glass shards in ribs when eating or drinking often. I’ve been out of it since and barely able to eat given my GI being badly broken, now require a new old people med device to somewhat more safely stay home alone, but now, mid Feb, feel like I’m coming out of the fog. No regrets, the restaurant was delicious! And now I’ve local GI care from UNC helping & as I write this current bit I’m leaving for my first combined colonoscopy & EGD done simultaneously later today. 6? EDG & enteroscopies and one colonoscopy at Duke from 2021-23. Issues found but no helping. Hoping they aren’t scared to fully sedate me here, haha. That only other 2022 Duke colonoscopy..Then the guy just blamed me for being too skinny, and was unable to find anything structurally, not being able to complete the procedure fully. I was half conscious and in pain screaming, when supposed to be all out anesthesia’d. Extra fentanyl this fine day of February, please! Also weirdly, my parent's equitabled distribution disaster was precisely 1 year ago today-When DVPO exdad dumped all my old & future medical bills on my former homeschool medical mom & attempted to take everything, almost suceeding after we were forced to flee homeless in 2022 to survive him. No support financially, what is mythical alimony and good lawyers? My mom having horrible mental breakdowns. Why exdad. I almost wheeled then walked out into traffic after this, no one in my life has ever made me feel more worthless and like a burden for breathing the air. How can one cope with being a burden to their own mother? This was post Jan 2023 no-med care post stroke when I could barely move, drink, swallow, eat or talk. Home alone surviving on the couch with a pencil in my hand giving me the will to try to “live to give, live to love” in little ways-if nothing more on earth I could say for.
    Turns out I'm not real
    Just something you paid for
    What was I made for?
    But somehow, we stuck together and smiled after the storm. So grateful she got her mother's ex-puppymill and land, a little lumpsum, and we have blessed freedom!
    Anyway, tis all my bitty remaining brain cell can summon at the moment! Life is honestly improving so rapidly this year it’s dizzying! Being able to even blog a bit (even if a bit off-balance) is proof of this! local good drs, hope to survive/cure the one thing, getting to often enjoy family meals with my mom-never allowed historically ( medical and family toxicity situations), finally finishing the few leftover home renovations, the first year she’s fully divorced finally and mostly financially in an area of safety! I’ve dubbed it the year of (my mom’s) Julie’s Jubilee with laughable glee! And I’ve given the home and acres around it a loving dub of “Misfit Meadows” I am indeed making a sign for our front room, haha! So weird to be allowed to be in a home so happy!
    I absolutely apologize/will edit if it’s not allowed to be so real here,  or if this content isn’t BZP friendly. And for photo embed fail pleasehelp? I have no perspective on what it's like to live as an ordinary person or how rules apply here. ‘Appy impaired unaware alien here. Virtual hugs to all, tis all! Missed blogging in the BZP beauty where I can be a misfit with so few openly judging me for the fairytale ramblings, thanks to all thee! 
    "Think I forgot how to be happy...
    ..something I can be!"
     
  3. Mushy the Mushroom
    Hello! Painted this little Totoro in a cartoon style a long while ago (fall?), a style I never do so feels wrong, but wanted a laminated cover for password book. The printer didn’t do so well, but I’m too chicken to laminate the original. I think I used pen too? Can't remember.

    That’s Porg, up there.
     
    Some last-minute ornament friends for my dad’s coworkers. Wonderfully fun waiting room hand-amusement. 3hrs to make each.

    And one for a neighbor + thanku cards from an older (July 2021?) 9x12 pencil. 4.5hrs for 8 cards. 
     
     


    Made a mush! Now I mustn’t wait for yard ones to sprout up. It simply never occurred to me before. Acrylic felt, stuffed with felt in the top, cotton scraps in the body, and I couldn’t find my dad’s steel BBs, so I used an old cabinet knob for a weight. A firm weeble-wobble body, perhaps?  Embroidery floss French knot details, felt face, embroidery body details. Blanket stitch arms. Head and arms attached with embroidery floss “joint” loops, which allow the head and arms to rotate and pose. 6.5hrs for Mush assembly, not sure about the outfit.


    (Real mush was reference/inspiration).
    Low effort from basement lace. Elastic layer skirt and separate beaded top. Tie straps are from braided gold thread and embroidery floss. Belt from beads from a different grandma. Branch wand from more of those + wire. Flowers were premade, then looped into a crown. 

     
     



    Me grandmither gifted this wee ceramic cottage to me. I think she made it, her basement is still filled with molds, unfinished figures, porcelain doll handmade heads, and the old kiln.
    Fabric field and tissue paper sky. Poly-fill pasted clouds. Harvested my foam baby butterflies off the pumpkin. It still hasn’t gone rotten yet. We are a tad frightened.
    Mushy’s Monarch Madness -Stopmotion.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usFFbPEYarM
     

    Made some garland for a *certain something* I’ll show below. And added straps to this bag also.  I was trying to finish it on pre- procedure night, but that did not happen. Pink peonies, pale Anemones, yellow Lisianthus, and gold billy buttons. Flowers from stretch lace, non stretch lace, peony centers from leather and a linen-wrapped wooden bead. Yo-yo mom’s-prom-dress lame for billy buttons. Greenery made by chain stitching two shades of green yarn into a freakishly long rope, doubling it over, then finger-chain stitching it together. Lace leaves tied in, flower wires wrapped to attach. Loosely used these instructions, if you want to plant some too!: https://somethingturquoise.com/?s=Felt+flowers

    Was kindly gifted some grandma’s basement baskets. And a dinosaur head from my dad. XD A photo/stopmotion prop now? 
     
    My mom tried some fancy knitting stitch piece panels. The deer are Fair Isle and this diagonal one. She let me transform into bear wear. And she made this knit “star” but she donated it for turning into a Child collar. Added beads and string tassels.


    Bear wear! My mom asked for a hat and scarf design. Thought process: EWOK BEAR with TOES (claws?)

     
    Her heartfelt handiwork, made in Hoboken Honey yarn. I can never repay her. Pom poms are hard. She made a matching set for Shasta! (I only added the wooden bead toes and tag.)

    Coincidentally, she informed me I needed a new coat around the same time. I don’t like getting premade clothes, it takes my fun out of it and I like to dress weirdly (24/7 skirt and dress obsession-by choice. My mom scorns wearing dresses herself, haha.) But, it also seems wrong to make things for myself and not someone else..even if that someone is a doll. XD. But if she threatens to buy me a store bought outfit, I must indulge! The Khaki+clothesline coat. 42.5 hours for drafting and assembly combined. Had to do a new pattern, because the last one was a bit “off”, on non-transparent paper & lacked notch and seam allowance details. New one on parchment, cut the panels big and sized down, tried on and drafted while I went. My dad’s Khakis -Not because I couldn’t afford fabric, but because using rejects fills me with glee. Two pairs for the outer, one for the inner lining facings. Lining from grandma’s basement satin, underlined/thickened with two layers of old sheets. Hand basted then Interlined for warmth with this old fleece “snuggie” (the famous backwards robe without closures). Hand catch stitched the seam allowances open. Hand top stitch accents done in charcoal Tex 70 upholstery thread in running stitches. 


    POCKETSES


    My first closure idea: That I had to cut off…after I remembered the backpack I made with straps from this cord. It bestowed permanent stains/bleeds from the dark dye.

    So, I made these loops from an old clothesline and khaki strips. Triple tower of buttons to cradle the loops. 


    Convertible collar- Draft reference: https://www.clothingpatterns101.com/convertible-collar.html
    Then I thought about bears wearing tutus and had to follow through…13 hrs. 
    Twirl-fullness stretch lace overskirt made from alternating swatches of “coral dream” from the factory shutdown- this too, is what I used for the flower garland. Alternating lower hem for length and to avoid stripe matching. Handsewn backstitch elastic waistband to prevent machine-munching. Satin underskirt is leftover basement loot from jacket lining. Lace accent hems and French seams on each. 

    *tutu twirling mandatory*
     
    Do you ever bake a bit-batch of cookies to cover your face? Or trudge to the shed side in 30 degree temps after being up all night to chase the sun?
    Or shove a straight-off-the-pinestraw, probably parasitic bird nest into your scarf?

    *has zero explaination besides #ForeverAwkward, needs a model sister*
     

     
    Really messed up my wall with this fence.
    Ridiculous, but life is too delicious to be adorned in attire one doesn’t adore (if you please, that is!). Storybook style, why not? I have an unhealthy lack of fear for peer pressure.
    POV:  Falling wayward on wobbly brace-less legs. 

    What the garden garland is for:
    …My sweet ride. The cheery chariot…A flower cart? Yes. Mine. Not the hospital’s, not borrowed. Shame, insecurity, yet glorious freedom. Got a prescription, but it was taking too long, so this one’s from Amazon. The initial order got lost for weeks, due to holiday shipping..but they then sent one for free, “for the trouble”!? The greatest New Years’ gift I never expected to need. (I am grateful for Tylenol, I was writhing in tears without it a year ago, and I can walk and stand with boned-braces, but meager distances and durations. Untreated severe arthritis pain and weakness via whatever disease.)


     
    Mostly for going shopping/etc, but I’m couchstuck more lately, and been trying it with sewing. I can roll between tables, zip between machines and sit upright without flopping face down at the table every five minutes. Yay! Only tried it in two stores so far. It’s hard to figure out how to unfold the thing from the car. I finally get to use the old rollerskating wrist braces I wasn't ever able to before..as wheeling wrist reinforcements! I apparently went way too fast and was reminded that shortness of breath can be achieved without standing up, haha.  Nobody stared, which was surprising. Thanks, kind peoples! It’s a bit easier to blend when you’re lower than the rest of the world. For that I am thankful, as I ordinarily try to hide from humans under my hats, behind shelves, my family, and dogs.  Removed the unwanted MEDLINE stickers, added webbing accents and lace wheel caps, ribbon, the garden garland, hybrid bag, and covered the back label with crochet square. I am one happy pseudograndma.
    "Hold everything tightly with an open hand"
    -Unknown.
    'Tis all a gift.
     
    Bonus: My grandma, bless her, none of us know how she crams her possessions about so efficiently. She gifted my mom two giant boxes of old yarn in every color. 
    My mom completed these happy-go-lucky-green leg warmers yesterday! Moms rock.  Seven year old me is green-joy-screaming. Green was the only favorite color I ever decided on, probably because I was chronically climbing trees. Now every color is my fancy! What’s yours?

    I have more content but better not rudely crash the blogs with images, haha.

     
    Recent renditions of medical happenings without context/the past months of craziness (if I ever get a diagnosis I’ll fill in the gaps and dump it on the internet for fun somewhere, haha).
    The hospital keeps approving 100% medical financial aid. I am not worthy, they have been most pleasant to this peasant! ;_; <3
    Few weeks ago: SIBO breath test: Positive. “Insurance saved you 2,380+ dollars on this medication”
    Return visit to Endo: *Terror in doctor’s eyes as she gives repeat urgent referral to rheumatology and pushes GI and Neurology* Her Notes: “Can’t wait much longer”.
    Me: *wakes up from whatever random soft spot where I fell asleep at around 4:30 PM on January 3rd. Crawls upstairs*
    *My mom excitedly shouts from below that she got a next-day snow-scare cancellation slot for that more complex GI procedure repeat (she was calling three times/day) of the one that failed in September…and was rescheduled in April*.I didn’t believe it. We departed at 6 am on icy roads, I was suited up with the Pillcam receiver belt and monitor bag, and was under full anesthesia at 10 am, got a deeper EGD with repeat biopsy and endoscopically deployed Pillcam. I awoke sometime later coughing violently and a sore throat that I later discovered was mildly gouged and bleeding.I remember a nurse telling me not to get my neck caught in the hospital bed bars. This was the most difficult awakening from anesthesia so far, we all know I am becoming weaker. Wheelchair ride to the car. I was given instructions to not lie down, sleep or eat until the recording was over (since a camera had been placed into my GI tract these things would affect digestion rate). I didn’t tell them I’d been up since 4:30 the prior evening, there was nothing they could do, haha. So I staggered around the house l until 8pm when the recording was complete, and my mom returned the belt gear the following day.
    They actually found something. Multiple somethings. It didn't fail this time.
    *Seven days later*
    ER adventures. I think I know all the staff there now. They rock, but get that terrified of “oh gosh, we don’t know how to help her” look when I walk in. I feel bad about it. The following is brief, heavily edited, pasted summary of the ER event message I sent to doctors: 
    “On 1/11/2021 at 2:00 am, I began getting extremely itchy chin/jaw hives, my chronic dry facial flushing got redder, and my chin started swelling. Hadn’t ingested food in hours. Symptoms gradually got worse. At 8:30 am, the swelling worsened, my throat became sore and tight/constricted, and my voice got hoarse/crackly.  I arrived at the ER at 9:00 am and was later given a Benadryl IV and nebulized medicine, as I cannot tolerate Prednisone or Epi anymore. I became unable to move, feel my body, or speak a moment after the Benadryl IV.  I tried to talk and the words came out as slurred mumbles. They then administered the nebulizer meds. After a few hours I became conscious and able to move/talk again, and was discharged. My limbs were still numb walking out, then my body went completely limp/numb and I collapsed in the exit foyer. Someone lifted me into a wheelchair, we stayed in the waiting room for about 20 more minutes, then used a wheelchair to get to our car and went home. My hands are still numb/have decreased sensation.
No past adverse reactions to Benadryl. 
I did not/cannot use my Epi-pen, as it worsened the unexplained anaphylaxis/type reaction in November 2020, and since in December 2020 the local dental anesthesia Epi caused me to convulse, provoked severe dry facial flushing, gasping/throat constriction, and I momentarily collapsed.  Epi always stopped my anaphylactic food reactions in the years when I had food allergies, so this is quite odd. I no longer have any food allergies. This is my second episode of unexplained anaphylaxis/type reaction since I became very systematically ill in 2020. My allergist also ruled out mast-cell reactions with a h1/h2 trial.
    I am so glad this happened. Why? Some doctors… they sometimes try to withhold information when they are unable to solve “Zebra” cases. I’ve had to repeatedly dig up my own imaging and lab results and push for things they…neglected to tell me about. This ER trip, coupled with being forced to confront unmentioned, potentially serious medical issues found in the one-week-prior EDG + capsule imaging reports convinced my GI doctor to order a needed, even more complex investigatory procedure. What a timely ER trip, something that I will give thanks for all my days! This one’s scheduled in late June, or maybe, if there is a cancellation, sometime soon. (I do feel bad though, my mom worries and I just blind trust.)  I do not mind either way, I have my year planned out, haha. It’s been awesome so far! Last year I didn’t even have a primary care doctor!  Wishing worlds of well to any all who actually read this far. Hope it brought some amusement, haha?
    Thanks all, that's all. May your day be extraordinary!
    Also It's snowing here, right now! And this splendid occasion is something to celebrate! and, here's a picture of a puppy. It's from the card pack that I stole the pre-made envelopes from. I love him far more than I should.

     
     
     
  4. Mushy the Mushroom
    Feels so fine to frolic about in this fresh format! 

     
    Bugging my family. Pencil on tiny 3x4 watercolor paper, then laminated. As you may spot, I do not excel in matching the inner card decor to the outer. The predicament of buying primary colored card stock.



     “.. Loved the World” -9x12. 
    Isn't it great, this place? The people? So many caring faces here on earth. I love each and every one of you, dear humankind.

    “What About Us/Medical Zebras.”. 9x12 pencil on watercolor paper.
    That song so often echoed through the halls while I rolled through the hospital years ago, before being discharged sick & undiagnosed. Started this one around September, after a doctor’s appointment where I somehow refrained from slipping away in tears. Fear freezes, I suppose. Almost dismissed from all further GI tests due to unknown disease etiology and a new doctor not checking past medical history. I feel terrible about how my body & blood work is frustrating some of them so. Then there is the guilt of having other doctors look at you holding back tears because you're crashing and currently unfixable. How grateful I am for all who are kind and genuinely try to help! Trials to smiles.

     
    An extraordinary, too-giving-for-this-world neighborfriend gave me a giant basket she made herself. Out of the blue. Elated about using it for photography in the coming days. It’s so beautiful that I nearly shrieked. How can you ever thank someone enough when they are this generous? I can’t even form words!
    …So I’ll attempt to draw them instead? Perplexing trying to figure out what to draw for people when they don’t have social media photos. Dog owner+gardener+basket-er+wished for a granddaughter but never got one= ?
    “Cherry Summers” 9x12 pencil & mechanical pencil on watercolor paper. Tried real art pencils for the first time (Thanks store-going-Grandma, I was oblivious to their existence! Also now waiting for art fixative spray to arrive, a new discovery here in Hermitlandia.) 


    People: You must be into what’s in style, care about current fashion and like shopping since you design your own clothes.
    Me: ….actually…iiii…uuuhhhh…

    My mom gave me pajamas for gutting- made with fabric she dubbed “too fancy for sleeping”. 
    9hrs for human. 3hrs for The Child size.
    Had to add handsewn buttonholes and more buttons in between. Switched out for black. Elastic- threaded bias neckline. Fully lined The Child’s coat with black knit. 
    Before/during disection:
    Pajama dissection theme continued, so turned the insanely insulating pajama pants into sweatshirts. Partially just to see if it was possible. Not the finest fabrics. Contrast lines to hide seaming. French seams and stuff.
     

     
     
    My first Chia Child/Pet- a Christmas gift from my aunt. Someone unintentionally mold-infected the first seeds with hasty watering. Take two, back from the dead. The satchel looked like a hot air balloon basket when not leaf-overtaken (I promise) so this happened. 
    *old people arthritis gloves*

     
    And my mom knitted more leg warmers! Pixelated effect from multicolor yarn.
    *purple party of three*

     
    My mom’s “boring” sweater cardigan she let me loose on. Adjustable drawstring. Lazy daisy, blanket and running stitch. 18.5 hrs. 

    EDIT: Sorry, I just noticed the bit in the 2nd post of BZP's rules about spoiler tags I missed. Sorry for using them a lot.
    Smallthings scattered across the internet in other places.
     
     A LEGO love letter to Nannerpuss - Denny’s 2009 Super Bowl Commercial star. Sorry for stealing your audio Denny’s, I tried contacting x3 and I promise it wasn't a prank. The actual commercial: https://youtu.be/Gdu3hQVVDD8
     
    OH SNAPS, VIDEO EMBEDDING WORKS? YAY!
    *Now feels better about not having to link to three-second-unworthy-to-click videos. The embeds are so biiiig though, makes me feel guilty about using the feature.*
     
     


    Do you want to build a…?

     
    Brick Roll done for the member-made emote topic. (Details on creating over there.)
    http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/31948-member-made-bzp-emote-gallery-library/?do=findComment&comment=1201808
     
    Hewki/Huki(?)and Macku/Maku(?). Not my best work, but hey, next time!?
    (Not sure which is accurate for the Mctoran form). 
     
     
    Terrible things happen when your dad always has these around. Rinds in my mind. 
    Also *Me just gleefully using this as a repository for oldish rubbish.*

    Ceramic houses made by my grandma & crochet square from neighborfriend. Tissue paper roses that have magically stayed intact since 2017!

     
    Up & away,
    May you enjoy your day!
     
     
     
     
     
     
  5. Mushy the Mushroom

    125+ hrs: Mothstumes + Mother's Knits ft. Baby Yoda

    By Mushy the Mushroom,


    baby yoda, butterflies and bubbles
    Social butterfly? Not I. Awkward moth? A cut from my same cloth! 
    Costumes, and could not for the life of me concoct a clever cinematic story, much less meet a human to model. Made do, a messy music mashup of perturbing posing, 83 minutes of recording, swapping, screenshotting, and chopping into a 52 second video, then shrinking back to the studio. 
    My mom: “It’s too fast, my eyes!”
    *Contemplates incinerating more seconds off*. 
     

    What's all this? It started with a sweatergift from my mom, the greatest gift ever given unto me for a birthday. Dreaming I ate three giant, gorgeous donuts and rode a bike was a close second. [Reality: 18 months of what would starve any creature with a metabolism, but instead currently uncontrollably gaining weight + an arthritic ambulatory wheelchair user. ] 
    I will gladly goof over donut dreams.
    And If you dress as a donut, do not doubt, I will support the decision.

     
    ♫ They can say, they can say it all sounds crazy
    They can say, they can say we've lost our minds
    I don't care, I don't care if they call us crazy
    Runaway to a world that we design
    Every night I lie in bed
    The brightest colours fill my head
    A million dreams are keeping me awake ♫
     
    Back to the sweaterstory!
     "What colors would you like? " 
    Me: *grabs 11 skeins from glorious grandmayarn box* 
    Her: 

     

    https://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/childs-knit-crew-neck-pullover Pattern used, combining sizes to accommodate my disproportionately long yet useful arms, designed crop length. Tis her first sweater, and it does contain tears. Even made The Child a matching one! At some point, it struck me that one does indeed need mothwings to wear with confetti sweaters, a set of two would be even better. Rummaged just enough of the right colors from the preexisting hoard, wire was the only thing left to be acquired.  
    My moth model: 

     
    Baking wing beginnings 88hrs for big wings, 25 for the minis. 
     
     

     
    Gingham reinforced cotton strips, sewn at center. Machine basted once ironed in half as a tube, then hand basted with Tex 70 slick thread for neat gathers. I initially sewed my casing tragically slim and completely removed and resewed each piece after sandwiching and spacing. 
    Turned right side out & pressed. 

    Used grandmabasement ribbons for the wing venation. Initially planned to paint them, but this seemed less of a mess. Tracing wheel and vanishing marker for seam guides.  RIP ribbon rations, so not accurate. Spontaneously strewn stripe seams, sort of "quilted" on. 
    Since the ribbon ran dry, tacked in soft yellow yarn down each side of the Child's wingset, then machine "quilted" it.
     
    Eyespots from ribbons, brown cotton, lace and leftover leather seed scales from my pinecone quiver. Handsewn onto each side with blanket stitches, waxed embroidery floss and beads. Wing edge endpoint trimmed with 3/4" sherpa strips cut and stretched on the bias, machine sewn. Multisize bubble beads, each tied on with tan Tex 70 thread, sewing through both sides simultaneously. RIP fingertips. 

    Wire time! Was a tad wide for the casing, crammed in over a few hours.Wrapped the exposed wirewads in 1" strips of PUL fabric and brown knit, anchoring each layer with Fabri-Tac. Tied slender strips of sherpa around the side wire areas, used 1/2 elastic for straps. Extra sherpa tassels to shield the adjustable elastic connectors (AKA safety pins.. *fancy*) 

     

    Video for a feel of structure. 
     Almost forgotten antennae! 2 hrs here. From felt leaf placemats and elastic enveloped in knit tubes. 

     Baby's Mothstume, 9.5 hrs. Fully lined, white opaque lace overlaid with the mesh floral. Four little leg faux sleeves, lined tubes filled with fabric scraps. Handsewn goldthread sherpa neckline trimmed with knit strips.

     

     
    A newold backdrop holder has made things easier, a reject from a closing store. I was running string between closet doors before this, haha.

     

    Guest starring a fine friend whose origin was in a GIF, one here. 
    Brother, browsing blogs: "Look at this thing!”
    *Points to the rainbow assembly of grinning gallopers in GIF bliss*
    Young mush, literally screaming:  "IT'S A HORRIBLE RAINBOW CREEP MONSTER!!!"
    *lifelong bond*

    Sewing, a sock, paint and felt:

    *???*

    Wired up a rainb(orr)ow of circle circular knitting needles (stolen from mom) +secured some skein skypillows. Foamy 'flies still not shy.

    My mom found a clearanced skirt which bore uncanny resemblance to a confetti sweater.
    Her: “Does it actually match?"
    Me :"Probably not, nope! "
    *new favorite outfit*

    Cloudy with a chance of …falling dolls.? 

    B u  b   b    l     e      s 
    Do you ever just look at chewing gum and think "an admirable anchor for props!" ?
    Hope not...
    *guilt*

     
    No human size mothstume, white one from years ago shall do. Leather quiver and headband from an eternity ago, last spring. For it feels wasteful, tools that sit idle. Hope one day an able bodied soul will use the archery thing.

    Sunrise, 8 am, impending equinox, ~45 degrees, barefoot, duckdock. Dear neighbors, my sanity isn’t wholly lost, please don’t call the cops! 
     


     
    "Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again."
    ~C.S. Lewis
     
    .:Medical mystery mishaps:.
    Wheelchair waltzing at 3 am is surprisingly wonderful while wondering if bones are internally shattering.
    It’s been ten years, two severe with searching, blame, and begging. I research restlessly and print papers to pass to them. Wield the med message system as I find myself so often mute, memorize my own medical notes now. I’ve learned some will lie if you allow it. A recent appointment ignited a new interest in my case. Primary care explained that the specialists were stumped and medically at a dead end. I debated, I begged. Everyone cried. Got referrals. Success stings sometimes. 
    That diagnostic procedure/surgery I had in February (SB enteroscopy) is getting repeated in a couple months by my own GI doctor. Because the surgeon imaging reports disagreed, they were out of ideas, and I sent Labcorp guides about what to do when Celiac blood work and biopsies conflict. They actually read it, which I never expected! The January surgeon saw intestinal damage, bleeding + an ulcer but duodenal biopsies were unremarkable. This February one missed the ulcer/lesion, saw no villous damage or the bleeding, and did not take the ordered repeat biopsies.Tattooed my GI tract.That was a bewildering car ride discovery from the photo pamphlet while coming out of anesthesia. I have a TATTOO? Took me over twice as long as expected to wake up from it, nearly wasn’t released due to low blood pressure. The next one will be the 5th diagnostic procedure/surgery in under a year. Endless ultrasounds, ER visits of which I’ve lost count, 3 edible nuclear stuff scans, 3 CTs, 1 PET scan. Bouncing between endocrinology, gastroenterology, neurology, rheumatology, It's dizzying. Consistently “strong positive tTG iga” discovered one year ago this week + other bad bloodwork + systemic wreck + unlikely Celiac genetic test with double negative biopsies = uncharted territory + no one knows if Alpha Gal allergy medically effects people after remission, it’s been exactly 7 years since I was bitten. THE HOSPITAL SOCK HERD IS HEIGHTENING.
    I learned that GI and Rheumatology are actively arguing about which specialist should see me. Outpatient orphan? GI swears it’s autoimmune, Rheumatology thinks it’s intestinal. Meanwhile they keep running Multiple Myeloma tests without telling me, I don’t know why I find this secrecy funny. I suppose I’ve no healthy fear at this point.  Doctors at this hospital are so baffled that they’re sending me to their rival university’s GI hospital people and are pushing genetic referrals, but…For the first time a treatment's being tried!. I’d put aside hoping as a form of coping. And my, how exciting life is when one doesn’t expect a thing!
    It fits the theme of weirdness, wings, and bugs, for I am now on Malaria drugs (Hydroxychloroquine).
     
    “It's not what the world holds for you, it's what you bring to it.”
    ~ L.M. Montgomery
     Grand wishes, goodbye, must fly! 

  6. Mushy the Mushroom

    Fabric Forsythias and a Few Flops

    By Mushy the Mushroom,


    behold the bush babies
    12 hours on flowers! The promised eternal imposters.

    Pattern made from tracing the real flower shape. Cut from two layers of cotton, prior fused with spray adhesive and ironed together. 
    Assembled with Tex 70 upholstery thread, just a few stitches, one bead and leaving long strings.

     
    Growing….Overflowing
     

     
    Tacky glue, Mildly dilute. Thread tails taped to hangers to try. 
    Tied some to a twine vine. 
     

    And made a branch from a rejected electronic scalp massager (?…There are mysterious things in this house that I am not responsible for…) some leftover wing wire and paper tape. Cut 3/4” tan cotton strips, soaked them in diluted tacky glue and swirled to secure. Glued on the remaining yellow bells once firm. Finished the twine vine and branch blossoms off with a bit of acrylic base greenery.

    They’re weirdly plastic-like stiff.
    Throwback to when wet watercolor paper was the only thing I thought of growing flowers from.

     
    ♩ There's a house we can build
    Every room inside is filled
    With things from far away ♫
     
    *got too flower flinging happy and why did I not move the jar ~2" to the left to cover the outlet.*
    In between the cheerful chaos of my bro flying home, buying a car, flying back to the cold climate he dubbed “So much suffering”  for a couple days, returning here again by plane and yesterday cruising to the coast for the adventure of new employment, Twas time for our mom’s birthday enjoyment. Imagine living to be half a century! I used to want to be just a Jedi but now I hope to be a fraction as good as she..in addition to that.
     I owe her everything. For she’s kind enough to tolerate fittings, wears, and lets me cut her hair ( thanks to Free Salon Education on YT…..am I allowed to admit this now since it’s the post-Plague era? Still weird? ).
     Birthday + Mother’s Day makes.

    Chestnut knit cardigan made from a jersey sheet and finished with petite pleats. 10hrs.
    *should have ironed it but photographed in the “wad & hide it, she’s coming!” mode*

    Leather drawstring pants, 7hrs. Pinned on dress form because, little does the lifeless model know... she has absolutely no legs.

    Circular cut flounces and rolled edge hems.
    Aqua top -4.5Hrs.
    Navy one-4.5hrs plus probably x3 extra because it had to be redone. The fabric lacked stretch so the fit was funny. I pattern drafted off of a lycra reference garment, and, it being 3 am, in that thick state of painkiller proof exhaustion so lacking logic, I blindly cut out the thick textile and realized the tragedy too late.

    I cut out the side panels and live-human-fit Princess seam replacement panels on each side while apologizing profusely for the flop. Added two flounces on each shoulder, elastic waist gather at the back, and detailed with multicolor boho-style  thread “quilting” lines along the edges and ruffles-to hide the alterations.
    Fits now (too big on this dress form), but cannot say I’m guiltless over what the poor garment has been though. 

     
    French seams on all.
     

     
    ^ The low energy butterfly attempt.
    Unfortunately confusion proved contagious amongst the creations. 
    “Cakes have such a terrible habit of turning out bad just when you especially want them to be good” - Anne Shirley

    I have an explanation for its aesthetic. Not a good one, but a long one. 🦋
    The birthday and bro week:
    1: We had no idea he would be back so soon, so I flew into frenzied cooking, confection and bread baking mode.
    2:Our neighbor passed away, and a lightbulb moment of “I’ll bake 7 batches of cookies out of sheer ignorance of what else to do” flickered on. Then there was one other little thing, a drawing. Fast/rough 4x6, done in a two-day frenzy from a photo found via The Power of Googling Names to slip to them at one of the sad events.

    3: I decided to make a double-batch/four layer/6.25” tall (when bald/without toppings) tuxedo chocolate cream cake since my bro was present…but without consideration of the 6.5” tall cake holder height.
    4: Aforementioned cookies used a profuse amount of powdered sugar, so barely enough was left for the buttermint dough butterfly.
    5: I figured out how to maneuver the wheelchair about the kitchen so I can take over the dishwashing and less grieve my mom! And any new unskilled work to crash between is craved for. Thankfully the stationary nature of cooking has steadily remained doable from a tall ordinary chair. A half-hour here, an hour there, If I rest, I writhe, to be busy is to thrive!..?
    6: As result of 1-5, I got terribly, flare-ably tired. 
    and thus, the cake decor did visually suffer. Sorry, Mom. Even though she didn’t mind 😭

    Good gift packaging is an art foreign to me, but perhaps it’s never too late to fumble about with fluff and feathers.
    (Any tips are appreciated from those who do such things better!)
    I never know how much content to carve into a blog entry, so I suppose I’ll lock the newers in a Doc, for the next chime of the clock?
    PS: Here is some no context yard nature.
     

    BEHOLD


    [x6 speed]
    ... the clouds swirls are real but the colors are embellished.
    Okay, goodbye now!

     
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