Toru Nui

You are stripped of the mask for the crime of tampering with the mail. My mask.

“BECAUSE THEY JUST KNOW BETTER.” Part 243: Count How Many Times He Says Hafu “Oooh… ow…” “Oh dear Mata Nui HE’S COMING ‘ROUND!” “Isn’t that a good thing?” “Hey… why is my body red… oh. OH. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH-“ “ANESTHETIC!” “We don’t have that. We only have chloroform.” “…Screw it.” “-HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-*muffled screaming* Mmph! MMPH! MMph… mmph…” “…HA! Who says you need qualifications to be a doctor?” “I, Hafu, do. I, Hafu, mean, I, Hafu, could be a doctor if I, Hafu, wanted to, but I, Hafu, don’t. You, on the other hand, are NOT me, Hafu.” “Just because your name is Hafu doesn’t make you brilliant at everything.” “No it doesn’t. But I, Hafu, AM brilliant. And my, Hafu’s, name IS Hafu.” “Oh please. You CAN’T be better than me at EVERYTHING.” “Sure I, Hafu, can.” “Wanna bet-gamble?” “I, Hafu, do.” “OK. But be warned: I’m going to enjoy-love beating-slapping the ego-arrogance out of you.” “Ugh, your vocal tic is SO annoying.” HYPOCRITICAL HIT

I wrap you in brown paper and mail you to oblivion. My mask.

Part 242: Shameless Self-Advertising “The perilous wastes of Ko-Wahi. So bitter, so cold. There’s no sign of intelligent life for as far the eye can see. The journey to Ko-Koro is long, and I fear I may not live to see i-“ “Oh shuuut up!” “We arrived while you were monologuing.” “Like I said, no sign of intelligent life.” “Cock-a-doodle-doo! Caw! Tweet! Cuckoo!” “He says he’ll ignore you stealing his opening line. Welcome, denizens of Ta-Wahi and Le-Wahi. I am Matoro, Nuju’s interpre-“ “Yes yes YES. WE KNOW. WE’VE DONE THIS BEFORE.” “Sorry. We’re now just waiting for the Ga-Matoran and Po-Matoran representatives.” “UH, REPRESENTATIVES, YOU SAY?” “Yyyeeeeeeeeesss?” “BECAUSE I’M PRETTY SURE ALL OF THEM JUST SHOWED UP.” “Sup.” “…IDIOTS! YOU JUST LEFT YOUR KORO ABANdoned… oh… OH.” “Don’t worry Turaga, I’m sure it’s fine.” It was not. “I DON’T THINK THERE’S ENOUGH ROOM AT THE TABLE, BUT YOU ARE ALL FREE TO STAY AT THE KO-KORO HOTEL!” “Do you have any shame? At all?” “NNNOOOOOOOOO.” Meanwhile, a Kewa informed Nuju about Onua’s boast that HE was on top of the world. Nuju told him what had to be done. TA-KORO IS DESTROYED GA-KORO IS DESTROYED LE-KORO IS DESTROYED PO-KORO IS DESTROYED ONU-KORO IS DESTROYED THERE IS A CERTAIN PATTERN HERE CAN YOU SPOT IT

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LoadsAndLoadsOfCharacters “GRAVES IS ALIVE!?” Part 241: Some Say, You Can Still Hear Their Yells Atop the Mountain to This Very Day Onua climbed to the top of the tallest mountain in all of Ga-Wahi. Come to think of it, it was the ONLY mountain in Ga-Wahi. “YES! I DID IT!” “WHAT CAN YOU SEE?!” Yelled Tahu. “WHAT CAN I SEE!?” “THAT’S WHAT I SAID!!!” “I SEE EVERYTHING! EVERYTHING!!! I’M ON TOP OF THE WORLD!!!” A Kewa heard this and decided to inform his master. “CAN YOU SEE A GOLDEN MASK?!” “…WHAT?!” “A! GOLDEN! MAAASK!!!” “…A GOLDEN CAST!?” “THE IMBECILE MEANS MAAASK, IMBECILE!!!” “YOU BUTT OUT OF THIS YOU BARELY SENTIENT ICE LOLLY!!!” “OK, OK! STOP SHOUTING!” “IT’S THE ONLY WAY YOU’LL HEAR US, YOU DEAF BAT!!!” “THAT’S RAAACIST!!!” “…HHHOOOOOOOOOWWW?!” “BATS LIVE UNDERGROUND! I LIVE UNDERGROUND!” “YOUR LOGIC IS FLAWED! AND YOUR PHYSIQUE!” “WWWHHHAAAAAAAAAT!?” “HE’S RIGHT! THE NECK GOES VERTICAL, NOT HORIZONTAL!!!” “CARE TO SAY THAT TO MY FACE, MAGMA-BRAIN!?” “I CAAAN’T! YOU’RE ALL THE WAY UP THERE! WHY DON’T YOU COME DOWN HERE?!” “Because IIIIIIIII'MMM. UUUUUUUUUPPP. HHHEEEEEE-“ “SSSTTTOOOOOOOOOPPP! PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP! FOR THE LOVE OF-“ “I wish I WAS deaf.” Meanwhile, a pair of Nui-Jaga and a pair of Tarakava climbed up the mountain towards him, because Makuta was getting rather tired of their constant yelling. WELL ARE YOU NOT TIRED OF TOO

That's not Matoro, that's Klyma. He has caps because he's a lot like BRIAN BLESSED. Part 240: Disgusting Discussions “So… has anything interesting happened while I’ve been insane?” “Nope.” “Thought not.” “So… you eat nothing but canned food around here.” “It’s the only way for it to stay fresh.” “We have that problem too. See, with the general heat of Ta-Wahi, it’s impossible to refrigerate anything. So everything has to be roasted to kill all the germs.” “Everything?” “EVERYTHING. Roast vegetables, roast meat, roast fruit, roast chocolate-“ “There’s no such thing. It would be hot chocolate.” “Oh please. Next you’ll tell me roast water is just warm water.” “It WOULD be warm water!” “It’s OK, I understand your stupidity. You’re in Agni’s body. Ergo you have his brain. I'd feel sorry for you, except I don't.” “Agni takes offence.” “Quiet Ehrye.” “Wait, I’M Ehrye!” “No, you’re Agni.” “But you just said I’m in Agni’s body!” “Yes you are. Because you’re Agni. Therefore you’re in Agni’s body.” “…How do you FUNCTION?” “Agni completely agrees.” “Quiet Agni.” … … … … … “I’m going to kill you.” “Wha-*choke* help… I’m being… attacked without… provocation.” “Agni completely disagrees.” HAHAHAHAH

...? Part 239: A Weapon of Mass Distraction “THE SNACK TABLE IS READY, OH GLORIOUS AND WISE TURAGA!” “Chirp.” “Bootlicker.” “SILENCE, SUBTERRENEAN SCUM!” “I resemble that remark!” “Onepu, can I talk to you for a second?” “Sure.” “See I was looking through my stuff when I got back from Po-Koro, but I couldn’t find my Dimension Cannon.” “I have no idea what this has to do with anything.” “Oh you have no idea, that’s swell. Only the security camera that I secretly installed in my hut shows you leaving my house with something that looks EXACTLY LIKE IT!” “You mean the weapon that I tried to use on that giant robot but ended up failing miserably.” “What?” “Nevermind. I have no idea where it is.” “Oh great. A weapon with the power to send people to various other dimensions is missing. You know, you’re not supposed to just ABUSE such great power.” Meanwhile on Voya Nui, Brutaka started laughing for no discernible reason. “Look, I’m fairly certain wherever it is it’s not in any wrong hands.” “HOW VERY INTERESTING!” “How long have you been there?” “I’VE BEEN HERE LONG ENOUGH! HOOHHAHAHHAHAHHA-sorry I was just thinking of something funny. HOHOAHAHAHAPAPAHOAAHO!” THIS CAN ONLY END SO WELL

Well... yes. Part 238: Quirky Miniboss Squad “MY LUNG! IT IS THE BURST!” “Wait, what?” “Don’t mind him. He’s just in incredible pain.” “I wouldn’t have it any other way.” “I THINK MY BLADDER IS LEAKING!” “Ew…” “No-one wants to hear that.” “I do.” “So what do we do now?” “We look for the Toa, you IDIOT.” “LOOK for them? This place is HUMONGUS!” “That’s not a word.” “Yes, so? Doesn’t make it any less HUMONGUS!” “*sigh*” “Well do you have a better pla-DON’T SAY IT!” “No but that doesn’t-“ “DON’T!” “-make yours any less terri-“ “GGGGGGGGAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” … … … … … “-ble.” BLE

I cover you in jam and shove you into a pit of fire ants. My mask.

That's not how magnets work. To be honest, nobody knows how they work. Friggin' magnets. My mask.

YOU TWO ARE USING THE EMOTICONS INSTEAD OF THE FONT WHEN THE STORY STARTED I THOUGHT I COULD USE THOSE INSTEAD BUT BZPOWER WILL NOT LET ME USE AS MANY AS I WANT AND YOU CAN ONLY USE A SELECT HANDFUL OF FONTS ON BZPOWER SO I HAD TO DOWNLOAD THE FONT AND COPY AND PASTE IT FROM A WORD DOCUMENT TO THE POST THE PROBLEM HOWEVER IS THAT YOU CANNOT SEE IT IN MATORAN UNLESS YOU HAVE DOWNLOADED THE FONT IT IS ALL VERY NEEDLESSLY COMPLICATED Part 237: Blood Bath Inside the ruins of Turaga Onewa’s hut, Tamaru and Hafu attempted to stop Taipu’s bleeding. “OK, I think the bloods clotted now. We can take off the-“ SQUIRT! “Oh good lord, it’s everywhere!” Meanwhile… “Tell me what Makuta’s planning.” “No.” “Please?” “NO.” “Pretty please?” “NO!” “There’s a cookie in it for you.” “…Tempting but no.” “Why must you be difficult?” “Well sir, if you’re having trouble with our service, please call 555-we don’t care.” “…What?” “Oh right. You yokels don’t HAVE phone numbers because the Turaga are idiots. You know, you would have thought Lhikan would have picked someone SMART to be his successors.” “Nobody knows what you’re talking about.” “It’s rude to call someone a nobody, especially when they’re old. ‘Course they’re no older than the rest of us, but they ACT older…” “Well I can only assume it makes sense to you.” “Takua, help! I, Hafu, am fairly certain blood is not supposed to wobble like jelly!” “Can I leave you for a second?” “Wel-“ “Just kidding. You can’t go anywhere. You DO seem to be a little TIED UP, at the moment.” “Funny.” “Punk, I’m hilarious.” JELLY

I leave you people alone for a few days, and I find you've destroyed the universe multiple times. Do you see me doing that? No. So stop it. Anyway I negate your no with a yes. My mask.

The Real Part 236: Mr. Jerk “OK. What kind of place would an artefact of incredible power be hiding?” “Underwater?” … … … … … “That… is a good suggestion.” “Fine then. I’ll search for it MYSELF.” SPLASH! “Where else?” “How about the top of a mountain?” “You mean THAT mountain over there? THE ONE COVERED IN SPIKES?!” “Yes.” “THAT IS A good suggestion too.” “Pohatu, can you-“ “Nope. Too tired.” “Le-“ “FALLING WITH STYLE!” “*sigh* I’ll go. I have the most experience with mountains.” “Excuse ME, your highness, but earth is MY element.” “Well you are as dumb as it. I’m going up there, and you can’t stop me!” “Yes I can.” “How-“ The ground around Kopaka immediately formed into a ball around him. “…Son of a-“ “Quiet. I’ll go.” “Alright, but come back. I don’t really like the idea of having to take care of the idiots while you’re gone.” “Will you read me a story?” “NO!!!” “Jerk.” “That’s Mr. Jerk.” IF YOU ARE NOT SEEING THIS IN MATORAN LANGUAGE GO SEE THE MESSAGE AT THE BEGINNING OF THE FORUM GO ON IT IS FREE IT ADDS TO THE EXPERIENCE ANY TRUE BIONICLE FAN WOULD HAVE DONE SO ALREADY

Part 236: The Unexpected End “Right, lets-“ “WHAT’S UP GUYS?!” “I’m never gonna get my Golden Mask.” “SO WHATTA DOING?” “What are we doing?” “WHATTA DOING?!” “What ARE we doing?!” “THWARTING MA PLANS!?” “Thwarting your plans?” “ARE YOU?” … … … … … “Yes.” … … … … … “I’M GONNA ####ING KILL YOU!” ZAP! “*death noises*” “Onua… why… didn’t… you… DDDDDDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDGGGGGEEEEEEEE!?” “CRACKER’S NEXT.” “I take offence to that.” “TAKE OFFENCE TO THIS! I’MA FIRING MY LAZOR!!!” “OH NOES! Ded.” “Drat! Nothing can defeat him!” “What do you mean? We haven’t even done anythi-“ “SUPER ULTRA HYPER MEGA GIGA ALPHA CANNON FIRE!” FATALITY. “Hurk blah.” “ALRIGHT, WHO WANTS TO DIE NEXT?” “Wait, don’t you want to keep us ali-“ Lewa then woke up. “Whew. Guys I had the worst nightmare…” “You’re still in it boyo. YOUR FLESH IS MINE!!!” “Eep!” APRIL FOOLS

I rip out your skull and beat you to death with it. My mask.

“Permission to slap him, sir?” “No time. There is a quest going on, you know?” “Wait, you guys are suddenly aware of them?! Don’t panic, DON’T PANIC!” “Ruddy hooligan!” “Panic? Are you sure that’s wise?” “There’s nothing else to do BUT panic! Ga-Wahi is a wild and lonely place…” “Oh fuzzy wuzzies…” “You stupid boy!” “Now look here, Napoleon…” “YOU’RE DOOMED TOA! DOOMED! DOOOMED!!!” “I don’t think we can defeat him…” “PUT THAT LIGHT OUT!” “GAAAH!!!” “I knew we could do it!” Part 235: This Is Exactly Why You Should Never Go All in at Poker “You know, you would have thought at least SOME of them would have shown up by now.” “Hello Nuju.” “Chirp.” “He said hello.” “You do not say. Anyway we are here for the peace conference.” “*pant* There… there you guys are…” “Nuparu? Where have you been?” “Going after you guys. I mean, it wasn’t easy. You left all the retards back at Onu-Koro.” “Well we could not leave it undefended, could we?” “What idiot would leave their own village undefended and take the entire population somewhere else?” Meanwhile… “I wonder if leaving our Koros undefended was a bad idea.” “Me too.” Also meanwhile… “Oooh, I should probably send someone to check on our village… oh well, I’m sure it’s fine anyway.” “I don’t know. You know Makuta’s not a nice person.” “Oh please. What’s he gonna do?” “I CAN INCINERATE YOUR BODY MOLECULE BY MOLECULE.” “Who said that?” WHO DO YOU THINK NUMBNUTS

But Vegeeeta! Part 234: Cad’s Army “LAND!” “OBVIOUS!” “SNARK!” “FRUSTRATION!” “Shut the Karzahni up! Start looking for the last two masks!” “Yes, commander infalliable.” “Well then get to work, private incompetent.” “Oh so I AM competent then?” “NO, because INcompetent is the opposite of competent!” “Yes. And you are not infalliable. I was being sarcastic!” “I WASN’T!” “Well then you’re DUMB! Hahaha!” “You’re all dumb. Shut up and start looking!” “Alright.” “What if we encounter those Shadowhatsits?” “Well if you’re not me, you’re screwed.” “By me, you meant me, right?” “Yes. Yes I did.” “Oh.” “No, you-“ “Give him a minute…” … … … … … “YOU SKANK!” “Oh come on! You were the one who asked if me meant me!” “YOU SKANK!” “Come on, we have to go.” “And remember not to ding MY masks.” “YOU SKANK!” “*sigh*” “YOU SKANK!” “THAT’S NOT FUNNY! IT’S NEVER BEEN FUNNY! IT’S NEVER GONNA BE FUNNY!” “It’s not meant to be-“ “Now go search, I’ma nap. *snore*” “Pohatu, you can’t just-“ “*snore*” “…Ever get the feeling that SOMETHING is trying to make our mission more difficult than it already is?” SO WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE KIDDING MR MAKUTA IF YOU THINK OLD MATA-NUIS DONE

Look at me. I have the mask again. My mask.

DO YOU?! Part 233: Deviant’s Art “I’m back, what did I miss?” “WE’RE back.” “Shut up, ham.” “Why did you idiots leave in the first place? AND DON’T YOU DARE SAY MY MUSIC!” “We left because captain oblivious here said the Po-Matoran were in Ta-Koro. But we couldn’t find it.” “Hey, you were the one in charge of getting us there! That’s why we gave you the map!” “This isn’t a map, it’s a rather revealing sketch of Turaga Nokama.” “WHAT?!” “Is that Turaga Matau’s signature on the bottom?” “What’s going on here, then?” “NOTHING.” “Nothing at all.” “They’re looking at your crude drawing of Turaga Nokama.” “…Adorable.” Matau immediately grabbed the drawing, tore it into shreds, and used his elemental powers to scatter it to the four winds. “Now you have NADA-NOTHING! BAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH!” “I dread to consider what you people are babbling about. Also, has anyone seen Jaller?” “Nope.” “No.” “Nah.” “Who?” Meanwhile… “Are we there yet?” “NO.” “Are we there yet?” “NO.” “Are we there yet?” “NO.” Macku escorted Jaller, currently tied up in rope, as the Ga-Matoran and Po-Matoran began their march to Ko-Wahi, through the Lands of Shadow. “Are we there yet?” “NO.” “Are we there yet?” “NO.” “Are we there yet?” “NO…” “Are we there yet?” “NO!” … … … … … “Are we there yet?” “BAH!” CAN WE STOP AT THE BUG PLANET

Look at the mask. Now back to me. Now look back at the mask. Back to me. Now look back at the mask. You don't have it. Back to me. I have it. My mask.

Easter Special: Slippery n’ Slimy “Nuparu, what the flying flip are you doing?” “BEHOLD, MY LATEST CREATION! The E.E.L!” “…That… doesn’t really look like an Eel.” “What?” “I think it looks more like an Axolotl.” “What the Karzahni is an Axolotl? You mean like, the Aztec god?” “No, it’s a lizard thing found in Mexico.” “You’re making that up.” “It’s a real animal!” “We’ll consult the animal expert. Nixie dear, what’s an Axolotl?” “You mean the Aztec god?” “Haha, see? What do you know?” “Whatever. What I mean is it doesn’t look like an Eel.” “It’s not SUPPOSED to. It stands for Easter Egg Locator. It’ll help me che-I mean WIN that pesky egg hunt!” “I don’t know what’s worse. The fact you want to cheat at one of our island’s most celebrated occasions, or that you’re so bad at it you actually invented a high-tech gadget to help you cheat.” “Cheat is such an ugly word. It’s only relevant, when one is caught in the act. Otherwise it is viewed as simply being better. And I am better. I am better than almost everyone on this island.” “I, Hafu, would like you to correct yourself.” “HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE?! MY SECURITY MEASURES WERE INMEASURABLE!” “The front door.” “Oh.” “Anyway, I, Hafu, Hafu am better than everyone on this island.” “He said ALMOST.” “And he is not IN that almost. He’s not even in the back-up almost!” “HOW DARE YOU?! I, Hafu, the great Hafu am the greatest at everything! I, Hafu, will prove it, today at the egg hunt!” “See you in one hour, sand-for-brains.” “Good day to you, SIR!” Hafu stormed out of the room. “I’ll show that egomaniacal nutcase! I’ll show ALL of those nutcases! I, Nuparu, am the least nutty of all nutcases!” “Oh lord, you’re even beginning to SOUND like him.” “Shut up! I must make my way to Le-Koro with my trusty E.E.L.” “I’d wish you luck, but I really REALLY don’t.” “Screw you too.” One hour later, at Le-Koro… “Welcome, player-contestants! Your goal is to find as many eggs as you can in the jungles of Le-Wahi within the next thirty minutes! Starting… now!” “Alright, let’s begin! Activating E.E.L… WHAT?! THERE’S NO EGGS IN THAT JUNGLE!” “No eggs? But… I put Kongu in charge of placing them around the jungle!” “BAHAHAHAHAHHAH!” “THERE HE IS!” “YOU’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALI-“ He was then eaten by a Nui-Jaga. “…Welp. He’ll be back in the next post. Non-canon, you know?” WELL DO YOU KNOW DO YOU

Part 232: When Life Gets You Down, You Know What You Gotta do? “OK. Let’s try not failing horribly this time.” “Says the person who has control over what we’re attempting to learn to navigate.” “Oh shut up. Let’s try the Burnak Paddle.” “Let’s not.” “Not THIS again…” “I would give ANYTHING to switch places with my shadowy self.” “OH MAKUTA, THE PAIN! THE PAIN!!!” “…Maybe not ANYTHING.” “There’s only one thing that can solve this problem. A training montage.” “A wha-“ Twenty minutes later… “Huh. You learned so fast.” “That’s the power of the training montage.” “A wha-“ “Anyway, let’s start swimming back to the mainland.” “Wait, aren’t our evil twins over there?” “We’ll just have to avoid them. Using stealth. AND SUBLETY.” “…Why are you looking at me when you say this?” “No reason.” “Well let’s going. After all, we only have one other day after this one.” “Well then. We’re screwed. I mean, it’s going to take ages to-“ “Found another mask. That makes four, in total, right?” “How did you-“ “Mask of SPEED, numbnuts. Now that I can swim, I can swim insanely fast.” “Oh.” “Well then, idiot, FIND THE OTHER TWO NOW!” “What? Now?” “Yes now!” “Well bully for you, I CAN’T. Don’t you know Kanohi Powers take time to recharge?” “I DON’T BECAUSE I DON’T USE MINE THAT OFTEN!” “Wait, what Mask Power DO you have?” “X-Ray Vision.” “Oh.” “Besides, I can’t find all the masks IMMEDIATELY. That would be highly improbable AND far too easy.” “*sigh* Everyone start swimming…” JUST KEEP SWIMMING JUST KEEP SWIMMING JUST KEEP SWIMMING SWIMMING SWIMMING

Part 231: I Would Like to Point Out That Their Voices Don't Change, Unlike Other Bad Bodyswap Scenarios “What the-why am I red? And why do I feel strangely… OK…” “Agni asks why. Agni asks how.” Although Ehrye was in another body, that body had a stable mind. Ehrye’s original body, which Agni was in, did not. “Ha…hahahahhahahah! Sorry, but… haha.” “Ew, gross, I’m in Nuhrii’s body.” “Agni is sorry.” “Shut up. This isn’t exactly… actually, this could be used to my advantage…” “I don’t like where this is going.” “Welp, off to start my modelling career.” “Mata Nui, that’s incredibly stupid, selfish AND depraved.” “Why don’t we hire that guy? He seems evil. Or gal, depending on how you-NO!” “Too bad cuz I’m doing it.” “Anyway we have a problem. We’re locked in here. Klyma took every precaution.” “Well then. We wait for him to get back and-“ “Yeah, no.” THWACK! IS IT HITTING A WOMAN WHEN SHE IS STUCK IN A BODY OF A MAN I AM SERIOUS

Part 230: Bringing Rage to a Knife Fight “Uh… uh… arh…” “You just… you just STABBED HIM!” “Yes. Yes I did. Why are you yelling?” “I… I… I…” “I WILL MURDER YOU!” “With what, your hands? I have a KNIFE, numbnuts! What could you possibly-AAAH! STOP! NO! OW! MY SPLEEN! MY FEMUR! ARGH!” “A-a-are you OK?” “I was just stabbed… how do you… THINK…” “No, NO! Stay with me here! Takua, do you anything that can clot the blood? It’s getting everywhere.” “I’m a little busy right now.” “AH! MY LEG! IT’S NOT SUPPOSED TO BEND LIKE-OK, it’s totally meant to bend that way-ARGH! MY SPIIINE!” “Let’s see, let’s see… what did Turaga Matau say to do in a situation like this?” “Remember, green people are usually strangers from another world.” “No, no, that wasn’t it-“ “When applying Energized Protodermis to the skin, make sure you’re not a plant.” “No…” “I AM SO FRIGGIN’ HIGH RIGHT NOW!” “…Why do we listen to him?” “Hurk… bleh… help…” “Perhaps I, Hafu can provide some assistance?” “Oh no, not YOU again.” “Oh no, not YOU again.” “OH NO, NOT HIM AGAIN!” “…Oh no… not Hafu… *pain noises*” “I’ll deal with you later. Right now I have to take care of his holiness over there.” “This is your second-in-command? Really? Come on, you can do better than-NO YOU’RE NOT REPLACING HIM. But-NO.” IN A JOB INTERVIEW YOU SCORE POINTS BY NOT INSULTING THE GUY WHO ALREADY HAS THE JOB

I drown you in orange juice. My mask.