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Arch-Angel

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  1. Arch-Angel

    More.

    By Arch-Angel,

    A math teacher in my school that passed away yesterday morning. Needless to say, this brought back bad memories and more sorrow.
     
    ~AA
  2. Arch-Angel

    Song Of The Day 67

    By Arch-Angel,

    NOTE: Suggestions of 'Song of the Day' are much obliged, so if you have a song thats clean or mostly clean of swears and/or profanity (rap/Hip-Hop/R&B allowed of course), than PM it, and it might become 'Song of the Day'. INCLUDE WHY YOU THINK IT SHOULD BE SotD.
     
    I was going through the Book of many Faces and I saw someone comment on a pic of them at a beach and how they can't wait for the summer.
     
    Summer.
     
    Beautiful, bright, sunny, (romantic?), summer.
     
    Warmth, sun, fun, friends...
     
    Guess I should start looking forward to 2009...
     
    ...Romance... hmm...
     
    Is that what'll make me happy?
     
     
     
     
    Broken Man by Boys Like Girls
     
    ~AA
  3. Arch-Angel

    Hate For 2008

    By Arch-Angel,

    In health class we started a new unit, a unit I remember from last year.
     
    Stress.
     
    Depression.
     
    Suicide.
     
    We started with stress. The class did a crossword on our vocabulary words to start familiarizing ourselves with them. An activity was done (the whole 'put these ish-load of nails on that one and make it balance' thing) and the class joked around. My friend DeJean and I joked about my recent depression on how I preferably sit alone during lunch, eating my food and reading a book. My health teacher questioned me once, but I denounced her, simply telling her I was fine. I was glad to humble myself. I enjoy it very much, but only when I do it and if I give you permission, otherwise expect a backhand. We did a worksheet survey something-of-the-sort as it asked us all the many things one would have happen to them that seemed either normal or abnormal. N stood for normal and A stood for abnormal. For example:
     
    "You cannot enter a classroom without counting to one hundred. _A_"
     
    "You have trouble sleeping because you worry about passing your math exam the next day. _N_"
     
    As soon as we get to:
     
    "Every once in a while you get to feeling so low that you wonder if life is worth living. ___"
     
    DeJean looks up from his paper and says, "Hey Jon, I don't have to worry about number 19, right?" He laughed.
     
    I cracked a smile and let a chuckle out, in sincerity. I didn't answer him. God forbid I have to talk to a counselor or a social worker or a psychologist if I answered.
     
    The loudspeaker went on and the secretary announce Mr. Welch, or Head Principal (there's a principal for each grade) had an announcement to make. We wondered what could've been so important to have us stop class. "Did 9/11 happen again?" was the first thought in everyone's mind in school, I guarantee that. The second was, "Did another student get stabbed in the butt?"
     
    We turned on the TV and onto the school local channel, Mr. Welch sitting at the risen table where our homeroom news came from.
     
     
     

     
    The room was silent. Shock mostly. Every mind was trying to search who try to find out who this person was and if one of us knew him. We waited for one of us to get up and walk out the door, as Mr. Welch said that there were counselors, social workers, and psychologists standing by for any students wanting help coping with this news. A room full of sophomores, no one got up, I being a Sophomore-Junior, had the highest chance of knowing the guy, but even now looking at the picture he doesn't ring a bell. But the presence of death was there; the feel of a life gone of our world put a hole in us for a moment. The room was silent of voices only at this point, after a couple minutes passed. Everyone started packing up their things, as if no one wasn't paying attention to the clock in the first place. But as the final minute rolled, mutters and small talk started, but no laughter, harmless insults, or humorous comebacks were made. The bell rang first the end of first period, and we went on our way. I nearly chuckled when I remembered what my next class was.
     
    Biology, the study of life.
     
    During lunch period, friends of my algebra class came by and the topic of the tragic news came about. I was offended at the complete assumption that the driver was drunk. At the time, we had no idea about the fourth member of the car or whether or not Jamoan was the driver. We only knew that supposedly he was the driver and gave no mind of the other two. They all questioned the logic of driving drunk, which I quickly stepped in. I told them that they shouldn't have assumed that he was drunk, for all we know he was distracted by something or someone for he could've possibly been as against alcohol as I am. They shut down the drunk driving thought immediately, when I only came to realize hours ago that I should've drove the stake in the heart and told them immediately how disrespectful it was to think that; think of a cause of death through the thought that he was a lesser man than themselves. The news we were given didn't so much mention alcohol other than "police are not sure whether or not alcohol played a role" but still.
     
    Jamoan, I most likely don't know you, but I promise you, I'll defend your name to any and all faces unless proven otherwise. You will not pass a man thought of less, but a man thought of equal, unless proven otherwise. If you did drink alcohol and were the driver of that car, I shall shake off my defense and let your soul carry on, for others control their tongues and their thoughts, but as of this moment, you are still an equal, and you will be defended as one.
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    I came back home from work a half-hour ago. The minute my mother parked the Explorer, her friend calls.
     
    Immigration got one of our friends.
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    EDIT:
     
    *sigh*
     
    Can't believe I forgot to tell this...
     
    My friend, Lee Anne, she's an epileptic. She has seizures often.
     
    This morning, she was in class and complained about how she couldn't see out of her right eye, and the right side of her body was practially failing on her. She went down to the nurse and was soon taken to the hospital. Please give her prayer.
     
    ~AA
  4. Arch-Angel

    Awkward Heart Attack

    By Arch-Angel,

    Anyone else notice the Relient K and My Chemical Romance are exact opposites?
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    There's this girl I see often. Cute redhead, her name is Kat. She quite gorgeous, and was in my health class last year. I never talked to her for two reasons. At the time, I was in a relationship with Bionigirl, and the second was that she had her boyfriend Jack at her side 99 percent of the time, so I didn't bother so much as talking to her. Though I thought of her from time to time, wracked with worry as to what made her leave class crying in tears and Jack with a solemn expression. They didn't seem to break up, still sitting next to each other in health class. It was strange.
     
    This semester of school, I saw Jack at her side once, and that was the very beginning of school. I haven't seen them together since. I don't know if she's going out with anyone currently, considering it's become a thing where we simply say hi to each other in the hallways. I have no classes with her, and only cross paths with her once every other day.
     
    Nearly every boy around me talks about nothing except girls and hooking up with them simply because they're hot. I simply want nothing but a relationship with a girl I couldn't figure out. That's what attracts me to a girl, a girl I can't figure out. Quiet girls get me like that, smart girls get me like that, girls that actually bother giving their honest opinion after thought get me like that. Considering I never had an actual conversation with Kat, I don't know honestly truly know her, and to think the possibility of her having any personality I'm attracted to doesn't help my romantic side.
     
    Why can't I settle with loneliness? My lust is nothing but an annoyance- no, a curse.
     
    My romance? Well, it's a beaten path I don't want to go down. I still struggle with it, more than lust. I am a hopeless romantic, yes, but I never show it. I could only show a girl how romantic I'd be if I were in a relationship with them, but how do I show anyone at all otherwise (without looking like a fool)?
     
    Maybe I should learn to play the guitar, write songs, play once in a while. Written poetry is corny and unattractive, music is great. How many times have I heard a girl see my friend Sean with a guitar and talk about how it attractive it is? Not a bad idea.
     
    But at the same time, as much as I want a relationship, I want no feeling for a relationship. I've become a loner. People ask me what I am to put me into a category. I was asked at lunch by a girl walking up to me what I was. Clearly I was confused at first, but they explained that I wore preppy clothes but never socialize at lunch, I talk without any care of what others around me might think (the arrogant ######## ), but can still not come off like a horrible person, and I stay well kept (shaved face aside from common five o'clock shadow, washed hair, wear different clothing daily) and I read Twilight. I'm not a scrub apparently, but not a prep. I've lived in the ghetto, but I'm no G. Otherwise everyone sees me as just weird, but still can't categorize me.
     
    I must be aggravating.
     
    I guess the next time someone asks me what I am, I'll say Edward Cullen. Simply to come off as a smart###.
     
    ~AA
  6. Arch-Angel

    Yearning For Rest

    By Arch-Angel,

    I hate Novembers.
     
    Currently, I'm exhausted.
     
    Two and a half weeks ago, I started my job at KB Toys in the Natick Collection as a sales associate. I've learned a lot on the job, and I think I've finally become a decent employee (because I ain't fired yet ). It's a holiday store (AKA seasonal store) and will close down sometime in January.
     
    Last Tuesday, I auditioned for a part for the play "Bocón" for the Spring Festival. Spring Festival is quite a big deal, considering it's basically the Oscars for drama companies around the county. I play a major role as Luis (pronounced lu-weez), the father of the main character Miguel. Rehearsal starts Monday, so I'm gonna have to work hard on this (even if the play is four months away). Hopefully my job won't get in the way of rehearsal in the beginning, I want to make a good impression on our director, Donna. From what I hear, she's tough as nails on plays and ain't afraid to yell.
     
    My sleeping is being really sketchy in the past week. Sleeping in class is becoming all too common, and history class is a hostile place for nap-time because my two friends aren't afraid to fart in my face, pour some water in my hair, et cetera, as I drool on my desk. Health class on the other hand is not hostile, but I shouldn't be sleeping in there at all. >_<
     
    My poetry is taking off. I've made a few songs, a couple rhymes, and story ideas (or scenarios) in my head. My creative side is leaking once again, and I'm creating alter-egos of myself where I could be infatuated with a blue-eyed beauty or some other thing.
     
    After working 15 hours in the past 36, I'm pooped. I've down two Pepsi's, a plate of thanksgiving leftovers, and an apple, and I'm still hungry when I shouldn't be. Consider the 15 hours being of standing up, climbing ladders, reaching high shelves, greeting people and handing out flyers of KB Toys's "BIGGEST SALE EVA" and faking a smile, plus being humiliated by many friends of mine. Oh yeah, a toy store has benefits, like 30 percent off anything you buy... but I'm sixteen years old and haven't gotten my first bloody paycheck, I ain't buyin' no dang toy.
     
    If I get asked if we carry Bakugan again, I'm shoving a Barbie down a customers throat and running myself over with twenty six RC cars.
     
    Truly, I want my first paycheck so I can get a Zune 120 GB mp3 player. No, I don't want no iPhone, iTouch, nothing of Apple. I hate iTunes, hate Windows Media Player (it isn't technical enough), and I <3 Zune Software.
     
     
     
     
    Sigh...
     
     
     
     
    ###### it all...
     
     
     
    It just midnight,
    and the lights are still on,
    I can't get myself to rest,
    I feel wore out,
    I'm covered in doubt,
    and I just want someone to hold...
     
    Oh Lord, can help me find,
    Someone to hold, give me a sign,
    a girl to love who'll truly be mine,
    who'll let our love live,
    'til to the end of time
     
    I see all around me,
    A hundred girls like me,
    But none of them are ever all true...
     
    I pray every day,
    Someone'll come my way,
    and I'll never again have these words to say...
     
    Oh Lord, can help me find,
    Someone to hold, give me a sign,
    a girl to love who'll truly be mine,
    who'll let our love live,
    'til to the end of time
     
    Gotta keep keep looking,
    Try to find,
    The love of my life,
    Can't give up...
     
    Oh Lord, can help me find,
    Someone to hold, give me a sign,
    a girl to love who'll truly be mine,
    who'll let our love live,
    'til to the end of time
     
    Oh Lord, can help me find,
    Someone to hold, give me a sign,
    a girl to love who'll truly be mine,
    who'll let our love live,
    'til to the end of time
     
    Oh Lord, can help me find,
    Someone to hold, give me a sign,
    a girl to love who'll truly be mine,
    who'll let our love live,
    'til to the end of time
     
     
     
     
     
     
    ~AA
  7. Arch-Angel
    I know the brothers. The 16-year-old and I sit at lunch together. Heck I sat with him yesterday eating his nachos. We get into deep thought conversations about nearly everything.
     
    The victim I talked to occasionally on the late-bus rides home.
     
    I was in the building when it happened, but not at the scene of the crime. Maybe it would've went down differently, heck I myself could've been arrested or something fighting with the stabber. I knew I would be able to get the 16-year-old to his senses, but no, had to get a detention on the other side of the school...
     
    Looks to be a lonely lunch tomorrow... my teachers better leave me the heck alone.
     
    Of all weeks...
     
    ~AA
  9. Arch-Angel

    Song Of The Day 66

    By Arch-Angel,

    NOTE: Suggestions of 'Song of the Day' are much obliged, so if you have a song thats clean or mostly clean of swears and/or profanity (rap/Hip-Hop/R&B allowed of course), than PM it, and it might become 'Song of the Day'. INCLUDE WHY YOU THINK IT SHOULD BE SotD.
     
    No, I'm not feeling good.
     
    No, not happy.
     
    Just got a detention for my new short fuse on swears.
     
    Really wish God could add extra hours to the night so I can get as much sleep as I need. This sleep deprived state is driving me to the point of me becoming a rude, sinful #######.
     
     
     
    I'm Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance.
     
    ~AA
  10. Arch-Angel

    U Turn

    By Arch-Angel,

    Last Thursday, my US History class took a field trip to Boston, to see the many locations of the historic city. Two classes went, my class and another. Keep in mind I stayed back a year, and that before I used to look at these sophomores as the annoying freshmen who haven't hit full maturity, or three quarters. They're getting there, but most are get too annoying to handle.
     
    Of course, I wasn't the oldest among the group, simply one of the people really wishing he had a wad of cash on him. Boston has markets around every corner. The history teacher running it (my teacher), Mr. Martell, had to press the cross-walk button every time we reached the end of a block. We must've passed about six SevenEleven's, and I was getting depressed with the loneliness mentioned beforehand. A Pepsi would've been great, had I had the cash for it. Though really no one went inside the stores surprisingly.
     
    Though there was one that itched in the back of my mind.
     
    Nick.
     
    A freshman (sophomore now), who's got plenty of cash and unfortunately no real good looks, no good sense of flirting, no good aim for the right girls, and his voice is in kiddy-mode so he 'sounds gay' when he's actually straight(which he is constantly had been made fun of in our class until I demanded through some physical means par say to the two guys to quit making the offensive artwork). He's a nice guy, reminds me of Tom, only more dumb, no common sense, and REALLY REALLY annoying.
     
    Throughout the trip, he was practicing some of his Portuguese. One of the brazilian girls in our class taught him how to speak a few words and phrases, but gave him all the wrong definitions as to what he was saying.
     
    ...
     
    So the entire time he's swearing in Portuguese, and constantly I have to tell him to shut up. Then he'd actually say something in Portuguese he understood, which isn't the kind of phrase you'd wouldn't say around your mom (if she knew Portuguese). So at around 9 AM as we were in the Massachusetts State House, he went on while we were in the House of Representatives, and I turned to him, said something I can't recall what, and I shut him up.
     
    Victory...
     
    But after five seconds of the beautiful silence, he said, "Yeah, well, at least people like me. Vanessa hates you, she thinks you're a creeper and a sketch, and everyone in drama company agrees. Actually, most of the people in drama company hate you."
     
    So I play it off like I could give a dang less about drama company, and left him defeated.
     
    Though I took a heck of a hit.
     
    I love the people in drama company, and I love Vanessa, so my mind soon processed that I didn't have friends. For one, Vanessa always called me a creeper but I proved her wrong and then we'd laugh about it, but I was convinced that she was talking behind my back and sincerely meant it. My loneliness broaden, and I truly felt like nothing.
     
    Oh! Now I remember! I didn't say anything to Nick, I backhanded him lightly, tiny tap.
     
    Today, Nick asked me if I was going to the drama company meeting today after school. I wasn't planning to take a late bus home, so I told him no and added extra flavor to it saying, "...And besides, why bother? Vanessa and the rest of drama company hates me anywa-"
     
    "Oh, I was just kidding. I was just angry."
     
    "Because you couldn't come back with anything else?"
     
    "Yeah."
     
    "Oh, okay."
     
    I laughed inside. All that trouble, for nearly nothing.
     
    Well, I got to open up to two girls, who I now consider my trusted friends. I showed them the blog entry after I felt better because they were on the little notes I left there.
     
    Now, I guess, I don't feel lonely...
     
     
     
     
     
    So wait.
     
    What was the moral of the story?
     
    ~AA
  11. Arch-Angel
    He's a lucky man,
    More than you know,
    Promised to be true,
    Never to let go,
    Seems so simple to comprehend,
    But why is this message so hard to send?
     
    I barely know you,
    Can't pronounce your last name,
    But dang it girl believe me,
    The feeling has remained.
     
    They say the eyes are a portal to the soul,
    You look into mine,
    I carry a gaping hole,
    But looking into yours,
    I start feeling whole.
     
    Blue as the Lord could possibly make,
    Your eyes are perfect, not one mistake,
    And at the sight of you, my heart quakes.
    How could you possess such a man?
    A simple glance from you,
    I turn to sand.
     
    I won't call it love, that's just insane,
    Tomorrow morning, I hope the feeling's not the same,
    But I know it will, that is true,
    And I'll ask myself again why I carry,
    such attraction to you.
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    ~AA
  12. Arch-Angel
    For a time I felt secure. I had friends I could laugh with, friends I could trust, knees that wouldn't hurt, Pepsi that wouldn't be out of reach (<-dang good time), and I had a home in an apartment building and not homeless like we were in danger of being fourteen months back. It was another chapter in my life, the time where Jon's life seemed happy. Unfortunately, whenever the next chapter began, after conquering the endeavors of the previous chapters, he would be back in another trial of life. The peace and happiness he had left, now he is more loose in anger and sorrow. He hates sorrow, hated how misery became his posse. He enjoys superkicking misery time and time again, but misery carried an iron jaw.
     
    Stubborn friend.
     
    (back to first person)
     
    The rain is around, the clouds discourage. It's psychological really; dark and gloomy weather brings depression in forecast while the sun is bright and shining, and the light brings happiness and smiles on faces. Though I am conscious of this fact, my heart is still aching.
     
    Hey Wrinkled Lion, what's up? Thought I'd catch you off guard in my blog, knowing you don't like my dreadful entries of depression and how I complain and yada yada yada. I'd send you some offensive sign language considering I'm in that mood, but Omi's always on me about my blog (and I don't blame him. It's his job) and I guess it wouldn't be the most mature thing to do.
     
    It'd be the humane thing to do.
     
    You've heard the sentence maybe a hundred times:
     
    "I have no friends."
     
    Now you usually hear the discouraged person speak that, and it's truly a lie, an accidental lie. What they probably mean is that they have friends to laugh with, but none to cry with. Now I know you guys out there tell me I have to I could talk to, but come on. You're hundreds of miles away, and the closest one of you all is Mojjy who lives in western Mass, and the only reason I'd go there would be for Six Flags.
     
    I don't really have anyone I can have fun with and talk to anytime I want at the moment, and I feel quite lonely. I don't have anyone but my Spanish teacher to vent to, and was one time two weeks ago... and it's my bloody Spanish teacher.
     
    I love my family. Love my mom, love my sister. Though sometimes I just don't like my sister, and my mom is too overprotective of me and doesn't trust the fact that I'm a straightedge. I'm sixteen, after going this long without a cigarette or a drop of alcohol, I deserve a freakin' merit badge with the crud I have to deal with everyday. I can't hang out with people cause I don't smoke, and I don't plan on buying Glen a pack of a cigarettes at Store 24 because I look like I can pass as 18 with my 5 o'clock shadow, I don't want to party with the cute girls and drink until my liver is tired and my brain demands I vomit, I don't want to change the way I look to fit into one crowd (because if you wear American Eagle or Hollister, you're a tool and deserve to die! [/sarcasm]), I don't want to listen to one kind of music, I don't want to shave my head bald and hate others, I don't want to fight people I don't know, I don't want to tell people who to be, and I sure as heck don't want anyone talking smack about me.
     
    I'm just lonely, dang it.
     
    There was this one person, but I'm not even sure if she's even alive. I'm tempted to add another dove to the first content block.
     
    After watching Madagascar 2 with my mom and sis, on the way home as my sister went on to my mom about the mechanic at the Toyota Dealership who is apparently stupid and can't fix the noise she keeps hearing, I found myself doing something.
     
    I was thinking about what I would write to each individual I know. Suicide letters.
     
    Suicide. It sounds so bad. It is, really. Some people think it's a horrid thing, some a disgraceful thing, others- not a thought in the world about it. Me? I don't know. It's something I've thought of a lot in my life. I've tried writing my own goodbye letter but my hand was shaking wildly and I quit on it and torn up the letter, thinking of my mom and how much she'd die inside.
     
    I hate the mere thought, but I want to tell everyone everything I've thought about them. I want to tell this one girl, though she already knows it, that I love her blue eyes and how they stand out from her black hair, that I could stare into them for as long as I could, if I could. I want to tell her boyfriend that he's lucky to have such a pretty girl as his own. I want to tell another girl that I'm sorry we couldn't be friends and that she's just too mean around people she doesn't know to even so much give them a chance. I want to tell another girl (TOO MANY GIRLS) that I enjoyed the time we were together as friends but the smack she talks isn't justified and that she has to less affected by the amount of crud around her or she'll burst into emotional flames. I want to tell another friend that life can be fair, so long as you stay fair and people will treat you nice if you treat them nice. I want to tell this one girl I liked her for her brains, and her looks didn't matter. I want to tell another girl that she isn't the witch she thinks she is, just amazingly honest to the point (no matter how sharp that point is). I want to tell this one teacher his method sucks, but it's what makes him so freakin' cool. I want to tell another kid that smoking will kill him, not a bullet or knife, because those things haven't come yet. I want to tell you love birds out there how to get a girl, but you're relying on inexperience of the people that you think knows what they're doing instead, but I understand why you'd do that (and it makes me chuckle sometimes at the sad fact, and I just chuckled right now). I want to tell another guy to stop thinking overtly about himself and look at other people's problems, and turning on the TV to watch the news isn't a bad idea either, you moron. I want to tell this girl that I like her a lot because she's smart and pretty, but I don't love her, because she's meant for someone more honest and open. I want to tell another girl that she's so smart and pretty, and I hope she finds the English rockstar stud she's hoping to find. I want to tell another girl that I wish I could hold her and tell her I'll be fine and I'll never forget her, and-
     
    I need a Pepsi, badly. I need something.
     
    Unfortunately, I won't selfishly kill myself. I fear my spiritual beliefs got me in the end, because thinking of others and the result of my death didn't work. Thank the Lord (literally).
     
    Well, another day will come. The sun will rise, the sun will set, and I'll be alive, I bet.
     
    Please, don't comment with stuff saying I can cry on your shoulder via PM or IM. I need someone I can physically be with and hug tight.
     
    Should I buy a teddy bear?
     
    I dunno.
     
    Peace out, and by 'peace out', I mean the end of this entry, not my life.
     
    ~AA
  13. Arch-Angel

    Home.

    By Arch-Angel,

    Don't worry guys, I'm back and I'm staying. Thank Da Mista Mike for the lifetime. I owe him a lot for the 35 bucks, so that's why when I meet him I'm buyin' him lunch.
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    How long has it been? Two months today? It's been a while.
     
    A long, painful while.
     
    A few weeks after I lost my last premier membership, I found out something that brought me down like the twin towers.
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    I remember that sad night weeks ago... I just got back home from hanging out with my sister who through her deception and manipulation got me to go to the salon with her because she hates going anywhere (except work) alone. The salon was downtown, so everything was basically right next to each other. Outside the window I saw a band getting ready to perform in the auditorium across the street, and when I saw them go inside the pizza place next door, I decided to meet them. They are called 'Red Car Wire' and once coming back home and going to their website, I was frustrated because they were great and I could've befriended Davey, the lead vocals, and maybe have gotten in for free (hey, I'm broke, what can I say?).
     
    I came back home and after my sister leaves for church (it's a Saturday, though Saturday church? I don't understand that concept, but ah well) so I stay home talking to Taki and hanging out on BZP. My friend's call and they were goofing around at one of their houses and got the crazy idea of me singing to them on the phone. Me, being me, went ahead to sing what songs I could remember. Yes, I did rickroll them. I have a deep voice, so I thought I could sing it well.
     
    An hour or two later, I could tell Taki was hiding something from me. He confessed.
     
    Bionigirl made him promise to keep it a secret for as long as he could.
     
    She has cancer, and it's terminal. The treatments have failed.
     
    I was shook to the very bone, my heart sunk to Davy Jones' Locker.
     
    I tried to snap out of my grief, but I couldn't.
     
    I sang to myself in tears streaming down my face, Cancer by My Chemical Romance.
     
    I came into school Monday dressed in my darkest clothing, my pair of sunglasses on me to make my eyes hurt less in the light.
     
    What really hurt was the continuing question:
     
    Was she dead or alive?
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    I joined Drama Company. They take offense to calling it 'Drama Club' for some reason. It took a while to fix my tongue to calling it a company.
     
    I performed as a scary Hun in the children's play, Mulan. I made many friends, mostly girls, but simply friends.
     
    Unfortunately, at the end of September, I found myself in a Love Triangle.
     
    The props director, Vanessa, is a great girl. A bit melodramatic, but I soon found myself shadowing her life in some way.
     
    Vanessa's first boyfriend back in freshman year started off as a good relationship. Her boyfriend, RJ, seemed like a nice guy.
     
    Turned out he was an abusive ####.
     
    Vanessa was caught victim to him, her heart not knowing what to do during each fight they had. She calls herself stupid for going back to him each time she apologized. This went on for two years, then RJ got cancer.
     
    I call that the Karma Slap.
     
    Unfortunately, of course there was still some bearing love for RJ (and this news was given AFTER the official break-up), she was hurt too.
     
    A year later, my story happened, and she was first person I turned to.
     
    There came another girl in my picture, and that was Aline (A-lean-knee). Short, adorably cute, fun girl who loved my hugs. She called me her teddy bear. Heh.
     
    I could always have fun talking to Aline. She had no tragic past I knew, so she never knew about the whole Bionigirl thing because it was at such a personal level, I allowed only a select few know.
     
    During our five-day weekend, Aline asked me out, which I decided to say yes to for my healing process; get Karley off my mind.
     
    Turned out Vanessa had a thing for me and got angry at Aline, who I forgot to mention, was her best friend.
     
    You see, RJ, back in the day, liked to control Vanessa through jealousy. During one of their short break-ups, RJ went out with Aline (who didn't know about RJ's abuse), and when I accepted Aline, Vanessa was having deja vu.
     
    Somehow it was all cleared away and the whole thing ended by Columbus Day. I basically confessed to Vanessa (who I personally call VV) that I liked her more, Aline and I never went out, and we were all back on the friendship trail.
     
    But something was missing out of the both of them.
     
    I could never confess a sad, personal matter to Aline for I don't know what reason.
     
    I could never hug Vanessa for as long as I wanted, but with Aline, it can be for as long as we wanted to embrace.
     
     
     
     
     
    The Mulan plays went great. I scared the crud out of little kids in the crowd and I had to literally roar three times in order for my monster of a character to look savage. I also had the pleasure as to picking up the Emperor of China onto my shoulders in a fireman's carry during our seize of the palace. It was pure fun. Acting, to me, never made me smile more inside. Theater was great. After both plays we had dinner parties at (after opening night)UNO's and (after second play, in the afternoon) T.G.I. Friday's. Lots of fun. Sure to stay in my memory, I hope.
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    For some reason, after almost being rid of the pain of unknown status of Bionigirl, I felt dreadfully horrible. I haven't gone to church in well over three months, and every time I watched Joel Osteen on TV I felt better. It was strange, or was it? I just know that after last Wednesday, I know where to go tomorrow.
     
     
     
    Michael W. Smith and Steve Curtis Chapman are on their United Tour. After spending two hours in the auditorium, my mind was flying. The thought of her wouldn't escape me. I tried almost everything. I vented to my best trusted friends, I flirted with girls I had any interest in, I looked for jobs, anything I was willing to do to keep her out of my head.
     
    There was one last thing I didn't try.
     
    Worthy Is The Lamb was being sung.
     
    And I prayed.
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    Today, I feel good. I'm happy. I'm energetic. I'm at peace. I've got my blog for keeps, I have my friends, I have my music, and best of all, I have my Pepsi- nevermind. Just finished the can.
     
    The story continues, guys.
     
    ~AA
  14. Arch-Angel
    Pain of a Loved One's Death Isn't Their's To Bear 
    On hot summer days,
    I feel cold, left astray,
    Whatever hope I had was shattered,
    Every possible path I could take didn't matter,
    I missed her, still do,
    I promised to be forever true,
    Talking with her, I could never swear nor lie,
    Now I feel unclean, ready to die,
    An unhappy death, with my sorrow and pain,
    Rather stop living than become insane,
    Rather never feel the touch of love again,
    Stay in this domain, bound in the chains,
    Of my heavy heart, so tired to continue anymore,
    Please God, this request, don't ignore,
    Strike me now with illness, lightning,
    I don't care!
    I wish to be in heaven so I may run my hands,
    Through her hair,
    But life never is that way, is it Lord?
    So I'll continue this path I do abhor,
    Unfortunately, I'll never forget,
    The love I have for her I'll never regret,
    And continue to live through death and death,
    Until I finally, happily take my final breath.
     
     
     
     
     
     
    ~AA
  15. Arch-Angel
    NOTE: Suggestions of 'Song of the Day' are much obliged, so if you have a song thats clean or mostly clean of swears and/or profanity (rap/Hip-Hop/R&B allowed of course), than PM it, and it might become 'Song of the Day'. INCLUDE WHY YOU THINK IT SHOULD BE SotD.
     
    Think of the loser of the presidential election will be hearin' this from our new prez, whether which one wins.
     
    Beat It by Fall Out Boy.
     
    ~AA
  16. Arch-Angel

    Deaf

    By Arch-Angel,

    Based off mostly the flow from the beginning of "I Never Told You What I Do For A Living" by My Chemical Romance.
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    Open up your mouth
    I just want to hear you
    Why'd I think I knew you?
    Continue talking, why don't you
    Hide your face cause
    The truth hurts, you know
    Going on, speaking slow
    But to hear what you say
    From other people
    Ruins my day
     
    Sometimes I want to stop
    Why lose my hearing for a day?
    I never want to hear what you say
    Ever again
     
    Only smack of coming out of the big mouth of yours
    Lord only knows how many wars
    You have caused
    How many hopes been shattered
    How many souls been battered
    From just the words that passed
    Out your lips
     
    Sometimes I wonder what handicaps are really missing out
    Because without a doubt
    They can't hear what you
    talk about
     
     
     
     
     
    ~AA
  17. Arch-Angel

    Thomas

    By Arch-Angel,

    Tom is unknowingly ignorant when it comes to news that doesn't involve him or anyone he knows, but that doesn't make him a bad person. He's a brother to me, or that gay cousin in your family the next state over, which ever seems more understandable to you. He's a great person to talk to when you need to get away from the world of politics or whatever is on the news. He can be funny, but I truly believe he's just dumb. He runs on emotions more than he does logic in which his friends around him provide (unfortunately most are girls who also run on emotion). That's usually where I come in, and where I get the right (from him) to insult him whether I mean it or not. Though, he thinks I'm dumb as well. It works out, I guess. Tom has always helped me when it came to looking good and I can truly say that he help me raise the bar when it came to look more attractive to girls. Sure I have to deal with his constant complaining on his boyfriends or hook-ups or whatever, but it gives me the opportunity to tell him he's a moron; quite bittersweet. I've known Tom since before he came out back in the 6th grade when he was getting more girls than you can count, which all changed the summer going into the 9th grade. No, he's had no attraction to me as a boyfriend, and won't bother taking a look at you like that unless he knows you're gay, which is great on my end (because that would be EXTREMELY AWKWARD). Today, Tom is the guy I can talk to when I want to laugh, though not the kind you want to pour your heart out to. He doesn't know much about my struggles in life, and I prefer to keep it that way. But still, he's a great friend.

    ~AA
  18. Arch-Angel
    NOTE: Suggestions of 'Song of the Day' are much obliged, so if you have a song thats clean or mostly clean of swears and/or profanity (rap/Hip-Hop/R&B allowed of course), than PM it, and it might become 'Song of the Day'. INCLUDE WHY YOU THINK IT SHOULD BE SotD.
     
    When I was thinking about what song could possibly fit the day before Election Day, I sprang to my Zune Software Player and searched. Luckily I have the Across The Universe soundtrack on here (sorry if you original Beetles luvors hate it) but I think this song works out best.
     
    Revolution by The Beetles (Across The Universe version).
     
    ~AA
  19. Arch-Angel

    Song Of The Day 62

    By Arch-Angel,

    NOTE: Suggestions of 'Song of the Day' are much obliged, so if you have a song thats clean or mostly clean of swears and/or profanity (rap/Hip-Hop/R&B allowed of course), than PM it, and it might become 'Song of the Day'. INCLUDE WHY YOU THINK IT SHOULD BE SotD.
     
    Today's been okay. Life's becoming more peaceful, and I've got more room to relax. I wish I had this song in my collection to listen to during moments of still water, but ah well. At least I have it now.
     
    Soak Up The Sun by Sheryl Crow.
     
    ~AA
  20. Arch-Angel

    Song Of The Day 61

    By Arch-Angel,

    NOTE: Suggestions of 'Song of the Day' are much obliged, so if you have a song thats clean or mostly clean of swears and/or profanity (rap/Hip-Hop/R&B allowed of course), than PM it, and it might become 'Song of the Day'. INCLUDE WHY YOU THINK IT SHOULD BE SotD.
     
    This song plays in my head whenever insomnia has it's way with me. It's the hardest thing to kill, insomnia...
     
    I'll shank it eventually...
     
    I know I've been using this band in my SotDs a lot, but trust me, you've got a few coming up from different bands.
     
    Sleep by My Chemical Romance.
     
    ~AA
  21. Arch-Angel
    I'm sitting here in a school Library with AM Collaberation, which means school offically starts Lord knows when.
     
    Though, this has me a little steamed like the veggies I don't eat.
     
    I noticed the pathedic way we mimic the unexpericenced, txt talking members.
     
    AKA, noobs and newbs.
     
    The statements are the first factor.
     
    If you're gonna make fun of them, then do it correctly.
     
    A noob/newb doesnot take his finger off the shift momentarily. For example.
     
    !!111!1!
     
    I was a noob. and from that, I know how its done.
     
    !!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
     
    That indicates that the shift was released before the one, telling us the member didn't look over his work and is somewhat inexpericenced with the keyboard.
     
    Next, the caps.
     
    Noobs/Newbs only hit that cap lock or keep the shift down when angry or excited. Calm and normal mood doesn't bother with punctuation or correct capitalization.
     
    REALY LIKE THE NEWVA~! GREGF IS THE BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
     
    Sometimes the one is pressed longer. The ~ in the above statement was by my own mistake, though the fact that it was a mistake was why I left it.
     
    Noobs/Newbs make mistakes. Grammar and spelling mistakes.
     
    If you're gonna make fun of them, do it right.
     
    Ya noob.
     
    Oh, and I got the taste of bad milk in my mouth. Should've seen that coming this morning... <.<
     
    ~AA
  22. Arch-Angel
    EDIT: Dang it! Accidentally clicked the 'Draft' button!
     
    Clothes... almost picked out.
     
    Gum... check.
     
    Backpack... never on the first day, that's just stupid.
     
    Zune 8GB mp3 player... check.
     
    Flirt... check (as always)
     
    Pepsi... Why is the Pepsi always gone?
     
    Sneakers, old ones I've had for two years... check.
     
    Pencils... check.
     
    Pen because there is always one teacher with bad eyes who can't handle the truthpencil writing... check.
     
    Sleep... ha.
     
    Money... check. (maybe I'll go to that Subway nearby...)
     
    Amazing charm, good looks, and single status advantage... check.
     
    God... well, He was never gone to begin with, check.
     
    Vending Machine cash... check.
     
    Amigos... half-completed.
     
    Well, can't be 100% prepared for your second year of the 10th grade.
     
    Bonsoir, Good morning, and PEACE.
     
    ~AA
  23. Arch-Angel

    Ryuu / Korey

    By Arch-Angel,

    Ryuu

    Ryuu, otherwise known as Korey, is my friend from High School. She's got a lot of heart, and a lot of problems in life. Struggling to balance her relationship with her boyfriend whom her evil parents want them to split, she has to deal with me. Ryuu's one of the best friends you could have. Don't get on her bad side though, there is no benefit to that.

    Oh. And she likes to glomp me. A lot.

    You can talk to Ryuu on AIM, her screenname is WingedWindWalker.

    ~AA
  24. Arch-Angel

    Happy Birthday, Dad

    By Arch-Angel,

    Hope you have a great one. Sorry I didn't call you, mom wanted to see if we could have dinner together (her paying). I think she's getting around to forgiving you, 'cause she wants to stop calling you different names like 'the Jay Ay Arr Kay' and all.
     
    What are you, like 44 now? I dunno, you keep joking about how you've been 38 for an x amount of years. 39 in this case? I haven't a clue.
     
    Its been a month and a half since the whole... thing.
     
    Well, maybe Christmas I'll see you. Maybe never at all. Maybe until the day I stand over your body as it lays in the coffin, or you stand over mine. Whatever God plans out. It won't be a happy day; surely I'll be angry and bitter, but not for what you have done, but for the fact we couldn't spend the last years of our lives in good terms, as friends, as family, as a father and son.
     
    *sigh*
     
    I'd buy you a Pepsi with the 'buy one get one free' cap, but eh... we kinda...
     
    Don't talk.
     
    At all.
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    Happy birthday dad. Hopefully you'll read this if I die first.
     
    Well, got that off my chest. *sigh* Feel better now.
     
    ~AA
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