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Kaleidoscope Tekulo

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Blog Entries posted by Kaleidoscope Tekulo

  1. Kaleidoscope Tekulo

    Lately

    By Kaleidoscope Tekulo,

    It's been a while since my last life update.
     
    So, I've started working at a volcano over the summer as a baker. I started as an assistant baker, but after about three or so days, our lead baker walked out on us, presumably for another job. Out of the two assistants left, I was the only one with experience and special training, so I got promoted to the lead baker. It meant a little more work and some new experiences. I'd never been a supervisor before, and managing an assistant turned out to be manageable. It involved training someone with little experience on the job, and it turns out I can be pretty good in a leadership position in my field.
     
    Then about two weeks ago now, my assistant quit on the spot. They decided to go travelling with two other employees who also walked out.
     
    So that leaves me with a lot of baking to do each week. I do get help on Fridays now. The issue there is I get someone with zero experience and I have to train them while also trying to get work done. It's a bit of a challenge, but so far the past two weeks, my work has been getting done on time.
     
    The good news is, I have only one more week of working on my own until I get some help. Two more people have been hired and are on their way. I will have to train them when they get here, but give me a week and I'm sure I can get them up to speed with everything.
     
    The past two weeks have been a lot of work, but it's always worth it to send out good desserts made from scratch. And actually I love that I get to make things from scratch again instead of baking off factory-made dough. It's been a good experience all things considered.
     
    Even so, I have been pretty tired the past couple of weeks from more stress and working so hard. It's gotten kinda rough and there are times where I feel like I hate it here. Actually that attitude started over the past couple of weeks. I mean life up here isn't perfect (employee meals don't always have the best food, there's really slow Internet and no cellphone service, mice are all over the place and TV rooms are either occupied constantly or have a broken TV. So all there is to do is hike which gets exhausting after working on my feet all day. I only hike on my days off), but I honestly didn't mind all that stuff until recently. I'm hoping it's just the bit of bad news that made me feel this way. That actually does sound like me. I'm one of those people where if something goes wrong it puts me in an entirely sour mood.
     
    So, here's hoping things start picking up after this next week. I feel exhausted. Blarg.
     
    ~Lapis Lazuli
  2. Kaleidoscope Tekulo
    So, whenever I post an update about my identity (being demi or gender queer,etc) there's usually one random person that disagrees and tells me that's not who I am.
     
    So, be straight with me, folks...
     
    Am I a mythical creature? It would explain so much...
     
    (I honestly have nothing better to do with my time than make this stupid blog entry, help)
  4. Kaleidoscope Tekulo
    So a friend of mine turned me on to a graphic novel series about fairy tale characters living in New York city.
     
    Snow White's sister, Rose Red, is a character. That really makes me happy. ^^
     
    The thing is, though, there are like twenty or so books and they total to over $200. I hate myself for having hobbies already.
     
    ~Lapis
  5. Kaleidoscope Tekulo
    I've never actually had it and it sounds like it would clog my arteries.
     
    Also apparently today has a thing attached to it, but I don't really care about that and just felt like copying blog titles as I tend to do because I'm trash. :V
  6. Kaleidoscope Tekulo
    So I've been out here at my new job for about two weeks now. The weather up until recently has been very snowy and cold. I am very ready for summer now and heat. Though I hear it does get hot up here, so I might be facing both ends of the weather spectrum during my time here.
     
    My co-workers seem nice. I spent part of the day getting pizza with some of them. Though there was one guy who did make a gay joke in poor taste. Being the shy idiot I am who doesn't want to stir up drama, I didn't say anything. If it happens again I'll try to mention those jokes bother me and ask him to hold off on them around me.
     
    So the weather has cleared up recently. I even went hiking a couple times. I got a bunch of great pictures too. Though pictures of the mountains hardly compare to seeing them in person. If only I were a better artist I might be able to capture what they really look like...
     
    My job is going well. While I'm an assistant baker right now I'm probably going to be the lead baker soon. Due to certain circumstances our previous lead baker is no longer here and I'm the only one remaining with special training and experience. Basically it will look very good on a resume if I can make this work.
     
    Other than that I do miss my cats and I boop pictures of them on my phone. I've been reading A Wolf Called Romeo which is a pretty sad and yet enchanting story thus far. I've also been reading Brothers Grimm fairy tales because I'm a dork about those stories.
     
    Overall though I've been feeling happier than I've felt in a long time. It's good to be working again and I'm in a really beautiful place with friendly people. I really can't complain too much.
     
    ~Lapis
  7. Kaleidoscope Tekulo
    So tomorrow will be my last day at home. After that I will take a flight across the country and spend the summer at the new job.
     
    I'm almost done packing. I just have a few things to do last minute. While I was packing today, though, I was getting emotional. It's not like this past year has been a thrill for me. I lost my job, lost my best friend, and I lost my mind (which, let me tell you was not a thrill).
     
    Sure I'll miss my cat's and my folks and friends, but honestly? I can't think of too many happy moments from the time I've spent here.
     
    I've felt for a while that I've needed to leave, but now that it's actually happening I feel anxious. It's strange. But it's going to be okay because this will be a good thing. I will be surrounded by nature, I'll be meeting new people and hopefully I can lose some weight. I won't be at home which will be really nice because it hasn't felt right since Jewel passed away. Most of all, I'll be working again and feel like I have a purpose. I'm honestly not happy when there is nothing to do.
     
    I really need this.
     
    Here's to moving on, I guess.
  8. Kaleidoscope Tekulo
    IT IS PRIDE MONTH AND RIGHT NOW I NEED SOME RAINBOWS AND AN ENTRY ABOUT LGBT+ STUFF.
     
    So I guess I could tell you peeps that I'm gender queer. Well I mean I'm not even sure if that's the right descriptor really. Basically I'm not sure what my gender identity is, but I just know it's not cis.
     
    Like sometimes I feel more feminine and being "male" doesn't seem to fit quite right. I mean I am totally fine with masculine pronouns (probably because I really don't care either way and it's what I've answered to all my life so close enough).
     
    I mean there have been times when I travel where I get mistaken for a woman and that actually makes me like so happy. And I am growing my hair long to donate it, but I also personally like it long. I guess it can make me look sort of androgynous and that's kinda where I'm most comfortable?
     
    I'm probably not explaining this properly and there is more that goes with this. The thing is though, gender roles are kinda meaningless to me (Said the gay Baker with long hair who loves Princess Tutu) so it's not really easy for me to explain.
     
    But this really doesn't change anything around here, and I'm mostly just posting this to keep y'all in the loop and because it's Pride Month and I really need some pride in what I am this week.
  9. Kaleidoscope Tekulo
    So I now have a Miru made out of ink on my left foot.
     
    BEHOLD THE MAJESTY!
     
    This is the best work of art ever and anyone who says otherwise does not appreciate the finer things in life.
     
    And, yes, before you ask "omg did this doofus seriously do this?" I will confirm that, yes, this was done with the most permanent of Sharpie marker. It will be there for at least a week.
     
    This plan sucks
    ~Lapis <3
     
    Update: MOSTLY COLORED IN: BEHOLD MORE MAJESTY
  13. Kaleidoscope Tekulo
    I just need to rant for a bit. So, recently Once Upon a Time (finally) introduced a LGBT+ couple into the show. And the writing for it was lack-luster, but I don't think it was because the couple was LGBT+ but more so that the show's writing has been pretty much awful for a while now.
     
    Once is a show I watch with my family. We watched it then and no one made any comments. And to be fair, while it was bad writing, the relationship itself was cute enough and harmless. My biggest gripe is that one episode is not enough to develop a true love relationship fully.
     
    Now flash forward to today and someone told me there were people who speculated that in Frozen 2, Elsa should have a woman for a love interest. My response?
     
    "Hmm, yeah I could see that."
     
    My reasoning being I think Elsa's story, namely how she kept a part of her identity hidden (her ice powers) from everyone including her own sister could be considered parallel with being closeted for an LGBT+ person. And that's not really solid for saying Elsa isn't heterosexual, but personally I think it fits and I would be fine if that's the direction the movie went.
     
    Anyway, my response was met with a look of disgust and the phrase "No, not everyone is gay."
     
    Hah. Well thank you for that brilliant insight. I will truly need to reflect on that. Boy golly I sure learned a bloody lesson today. That put me in my place. Oh, and by the by;
     
    NOT EVERYBODY IS HETEROSEXUAL, BUT NOBODY EVER TOLD THAT TO DISNEY!
     
    Number of openly LGBT+ characters in Disney: Zero
     
    Number of LGBT+ role models I had growing up so I didn't think I was a freak and gave me even the slightest bit of "don't freak out it will be okay" mentality? Zero.
     
    No instead I got a giant parade of heterosexuality trapsing around me, and then when I found out I was gay it all turned to a big deal. So big that my closest family members didn't know I was gay until less than a year ago. Heck, I still worry that I'm going to be a victim of a hate crime.
     
    It's not like those LGBT+ kids need any form of support. It's not like the kid with two moms needs to see that their family can be represented as normal. It's not like I needed to feel like a regular human being growing up.
     
    But hey "why do we need to expose children to that anyway?"
     
    Yeah, it's not like that group is being bullied to death in their youth or anything.
     
    And as for the LGBT+ ship in Once? "Yeah, that was just too much for me."
     
    And it's not like I have anyone in my family to talk about this stuff with, because if it hasn't become apparent by now in this entry, my family just does not understand anything about this area.
     
    A list of every LGBT+ member of my family: me
     
    So yeah I kinda hate the world right now. Seriously, screw that place.
  14. Kaleidoscope Tekulo
    So I found a pony generator today and decided, since I have nothing else to do with my life, to create a pony-sona.
     

     
    So now I am a pony. A gay pony.
     
    GET OFF MY OCEAN PILLAR!
    ~Lapis Lazuli <3
  15. Kaleidoscope Tekulo
    Le me looking at le Danimals smoothies:
     
    "Whoa, the bottles are so tiny. It's like they make these things for kids! ... Oh my gosh, I sound like an AFOL. OH SNAP CRACKLE AND POP, I AM AN AFOL! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
     
    Le me looking at le flour tortillas:
     
    "Hey, what's this... Turtle wax? Well I mean, you never know when you're gonna need to wax some turtles when you're making tacos."
     
    Le me in the aisle and I see a toy turtle on a baby's basket:
     
    "Whoa. For like a split second I swear that turtle was alive. And I was all like 'OMG REPTILE <3' but no, you had to crush my dreams with the harsh reality that it's just a baby. The nerve of some people."
     
    Le me checking out:
     
    "That teenager just gave me a weird look. The nerve! Why can't we just ban all teenagers from existing? Oh man, I sound like an AFOL. OH WAIT I'M STILL AN AFOL! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
     
    Why did I even type out this stupid entry?
     
    GET OFF MY OCEAN PILLAR!
    ~Lapis Lazuli <3
  16. Kaleidoscope Tekulo
    So I was really sleepy when going for a walk, so I came up with this dumb story idea.
     
    So, like, there's this kid who is constantly asleep and whenever he becomes half-awake, he fights superpowered monsters. The thing is, this kid has god-tier abilities, so all he really has to do is wave his hand to stop the monsters and like flick them with his fingers to defeat them. So, like, instead of having parents, he's accompanied by this young woman dressed in punk clothing who constantly tries to keep him awake to fight off the monsters. She slaps him and constantly uses the line "THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO BE TAKING A NAP!" They nearly die several times and are saved when the kid finally wakes up enough to deal with whatever is killing them this time.
     
    It would probably involve more story devices if I bothered to flesh it out like "Why is this kid super powerful?" and "Why is he constantly asleep?" and "Where do these monsters come from?"
     
    All in all it's a pretty dumb idea and I will probably never do anything with it.
     
    GET OFF MY OCEAN PILLAR!
    ~Lapis Lazuli <3
  20. Kaleidoscope Tekulo

    I'm gay

    By Kaleidoscope Tekulo,

    But you all knew that already.
     
    I gotta say, though, it is really nice having a place to say this with no worrying or negative comments.
     
    TAKE THAT, EVERY STUPID HATER EVER! I'M GAY AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!.
     
    Hehehe...
     
    Hahaha...
     
    AHAHAHAHAHA
     
    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
     
    ~Tekulo
  22. Kaleidoscope Tekulo
    I can't sleep tonight.
     
    I dunno, lately I've just felt... well, I'm really not sure how to put it. I guess a word that comes close is "uninspired." I've just noticed that lately I just don't feel as passionate about things that I used to. The things I used to love are just sort of there now. Like white noise.
     
    I'm not sure if it's depression or if it's just me changing or what. I mean, I know I'm not normal or anything. Like I've always been rough on myself, telling myself that I'll never be able to have things like a relationship or ever be a guy that's happy-go-lucky. I mean, what if my illness came back, and I'm with someone that has to deal with me rocking back and forth while I'm panicking for no reason... And it's not like I'm attractive or ambitious or will ever be successful or all that smart. And yeah, that's a pretty poor attitude to have and all, but hey that's what those years of bullying in school made me start thinking and it's turned into a pretty nasty habit, so what are you gonna do?
     
    But even with all of that aside, things never quite felt like this before. To be honest I've felt this way since my dog died last year. I dunno, I guess even when I went through being bullied or even when I got really bad depression she was always there. She was my best and oldest friend. And you know, being home still and not having her around to share my food with and not seeing her paw prints in the snow and not having her around, I really notice her not being here.
     
    It sort of feels like life without color. I used to be the guy who, against all odds, wanted to spite the world and be happy anyway. But now it just feels like I've lost that fight in me. The only thing that really felt emotionally rewarding was when I got offered my summer job.
     
    Eh, I think I'll have a talk about this with my doctor when I see them next.
  24. Kaleidoscope Tekulo
    Does anyone want a Scyther with Technician?
     
    I have like a box full of them and I kinda just want them gone. I already have a Scizor with that ability, and it has come in handy so many times for Legendary Hunting.
     
    They're all lvl 1.
    Friend Code: 1590-5239-4085
     
    Also, I have shinies up for trade.
     
    Zoroark lvl 60
    Porygon Z lvl 50
    Haxorus lvl 60
    Raikou lvl 50
    Rayquaza lvl 70
    Munna lvl 15
    Meowstic (male) lvl 61
     
    Shiny for Shiny.
     
    GET OFF MY LAWN!
    ~Tekulo <3
  25. Kaleidoscope Tekulo
    What's in your left pocket?!
     
    Trainer Tekulo wants to battle!
     
    Friend Code: 1590-5239-4085
     
    I'll be playing Omega Ruby today. I'm not using legendaries.
     
    GET OFF MY LAWN!
    ~Tekulo <3
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