Nikira

Getting back into college isn't the priority right now, but thank you nonetheless. Again, I don't even know if this is my particular problem. I'll know more next week.

Thanks, Becca. <3 I'm glad, too, even if it's kind of difficult to know how to feel right now.

Wasn't aware of that. But I think it's more because my ability to communicate in general seems fine to a point, especially with words. I know I've learned my social cues decently if not awkwardly, I just have issues with most sarcasm/taking things far too seriously that aren't meant to be taken seriously, the rules of social give and take, etc. But again, I'm not really going to assume anything means anything until I have an actual diagnosis in hand.

Right. Regardless of what actual diagnosis I'm given in the end, I've got a good set of therapists to help me get started right now. Hopefully things will work out in the end. Educationally has been a trick for me for a while. I can do incredibly well with my studies, but I had to drop out of college because, especially my senior year, I was tripping so much over interactions with professors and other students that it severely impaired what I could manage. My senior studies became absolutely impossible because of that. Got a lot of comments that I was lazy or distracted or that I needed to be "more professional" in how I communicated verbally or met eye contact, and it kind of seemed that no matter how hard I tried I could never really do it successfully? And it's taken until now to realize that hey, maybe there was a reason for all that. But I still am not sure - just kind of waiting until I have an actual diagnosis otherwise it's just a giant guessing game. Yeah, I've never viewed it as a disability of any sort, and that's not really what I'm worried about! It's just kind of new, for both myself and my family, and it's been kind of a rocky start just with screening. If it helps me learn why I am the way I am and be able to adapt accordingly, then hooray. But I'm just hoping that my family can be willing to learn right along with me.

Two blog entries in a month? Dear god. SOMEONE CALL THE COPS But anyways. So this time next week I will apparently (hopefully) have a diagnosis of either Asperger's syndrome or PDD-NOS (atypical autism) along with an anxiety disorder that I can never catch the proper name of. This has been 3 and a half months of doctor visits and like years of awkward and mistakes and horribleness in the making and I am still not sure how to feel about it. I mean, being autistic on any level doesn't change who I am or anything. I'm still me. But it's like... a question on everyone's mind of "why didn't we really take care of this sooner?" My sister especially. She worries about me often. But yeah, that has been on my mind for a while. I am a boat floating forever on a sea of uncertainties and flaily useless panic. Glub. (This has been a totally quality blog entry of worrying from Nik, you guys can move on now.) -Nik

Thanks, guys! Hahaha, it's not something I've ever really spoken about, I guess! It's still an instrument I'm very new to, but I've never really felt music the way I do with a bass since I learned how to play piano. Which might sound super dorky or something, but it's still true. So yeah, whether or not I learn to play well, I am still super happy with it. Don't worry Rob, I forgive you and you are also awesome and I would love to see Canada and also you guys! RETURN HUGS. <3

Thanks, Becca! Love you too, jump on Rob for me!

Yup, a Hartke B150. It works well! And wooow does that E string sound beautiful. I've missed it. It's my only gift this year, but my brother saved up money for the last few months to get this all ordered at once and it only came in last night, so I feel rather spoiled. When I can get through a song without flailing then I probably will, haha. I will make sure to let you guys know, of course. Lots of hoorays! Thanks, bossman. o7

A GSR Mikro, I believe! Serial is GSRM20L, strings are all Elixir.

It is currently my 22nd birthday. We have a president and I am so okay with that. Maryland did some lovely things. I finally have a bass guitar in my hands for the first time in almost 2 years, Ibanez left-handed 3/4, and I am playing Day Tripper like it was only yesterday. Life is pretty okay right now, guys. <3 -Nik

kjfghdkjfg Okay yes, TMD wins all the prizes for the Switchfoot reference. High five, man.

Hahah, yay, the bossman is still alive! Good to hear, Andrew. o7 I hope things clear up for you soon.

We're just getting the furthest tendrils of it here at home. Lots of wind - some of the gusts are already knocking power out and ripping shingles off of roofs. But it's not horrible. There's lots of family in Point Pleasant and Atlantic City (some of which we haven't had contact with) so we're glued to the phones and the weather reports especially with the eye of the storm over that part of NJ right now. So it is basically a super fun day today. East Coast members: bunker down and stay safe, you guys. o/ -Nik

Hey, Aanchir. I'm pretty touch-and-go right now with activity - I've kind of lost my flare for the site after being away from it for so long. But eh, it happens. Still missed you guys an awful lot, and I'll try to poke around every once in a while.

I took a break for about a year and a half not too long ago, and even now I'm only on sporadically.

I dunno, Nikira's kind of stuck pretty well. :PBut besides that, either Donatello or The Lion King. Because nostalgia is a wonderful thing.

Hahah, thanks Emzee. It's getting lots of questions answered, at least, so I can't complain. I'll get back to college when I can. I'm actually looking into work right now! I'm having to stay part-time until doctor and psych visits calm down, but there's this nasty thing called student loans to pay off at the beginning of the year, soooo yup. |D In the meantime it's been relaxing for the most part. :3c

It's a bossman! :3 Pffft. Shame on you. Still, I don't blame you - they can lose their charm after rerun 5 or 6. But thank you! I hope you're managing okay. EDIT: AHHH I MISSED BECCA nooo. Ahhhh I miss you too! Yeah, ADHD fell through just because there wasn't a strong childhood history of relevant issues or something along those lines. It's okay, though - I'm just glad I'm getting things looked at in the first place. //D

Nik's summer, in condensed form: Lots of sleep Lots of rainbow cupcakes Lots of playing of the piano Got a new dog! Chocolate lab - he's a sweetie. There was a wedding in there somewhere as well. My sister looked gorgeous and she's very happy with her new husband. Had to drop my last semester of college, but I'm okay with that. My credits aren't going anywhere. Got screened for GAD and high-functioning Asperger's. And everyone proceeded to wonder why we didn't do this like 5 years ago. This is still a work in progress. (I was also screened for ADHD, which was ruled out - be proud of me, Becca, I actually bothered to ask!) Played way too much minigolf. Rewatched Legends of Metru Nui more times than I can count. I guess that final one is what made me roll back on here for a little bit, hah. Hi BZ, I missed yooooou. I also missed Vakama. But I think I missed you a little more than Vakama. *flops on everyone*

Oh hey, if it isn't LaughinMan~ Nice to see you, too!