Kakaru

Bricky I'm cropping that as my new banner also I did totally edit my first one but yours is better because I used Paint

dude this happens all the time

rats not again

because I can't stop watching this show

Exactly this. Most of the time the trigger is that match that sets them on fire. The gasoline is there and always will be, but it needs someone to drench themselves in it then set themselves on fire and oh what where is this metaphor going

MAKARU YES PLEASE FIX THE METAPHOR IF YOU MUST BUT LEAVE THE PART WITH THE FIRE

Basically, BZPower is like a big gasoline engine. It runs smoothly, makes a lot of noise, but does what it's supposed to. Inside that engine are a whole lot of different components doing different things in unison to keep it all together. Oh, and it runs on flammable liquid, which is great when kept contained. Some people like to open up the gas tank fueling the engine to analyze the gas inside in a civil manner, then some other people like to run in, dump the gas all over themselves, and set themselves on fire, all while screaming misnomers at the rest of the engine.

I'm watching this entire thing and I'm like 465 kb

Grey one looks like Grievous' starfighter from the other side.

Charity review of Xezia. I know I'm trying to return Ced's favour by finishing his, but this one caught my eye because it reminds me so much of something I would have written for fun and I had a couple things to say.I'd put in my application to become a critic but I'm lazy.

*cracks knuckles*Okay, let me say that if all you're interested in is writing this for fun and you don't care about constructive criticism to any degree, just skip straight to the end where I've given you a kitten and the short version of this review. Otherwise this may be a bit discouraging (and I apologize for that) but I've written this to help you improve as a writer. Maybe not in this epic or the next, but somewhere down the road, I hope that some of what I've said here will start to sink in and to take effect in your writing. It's what happened to me through incredibly blunt criticism and the influence of writers far greater than me, and I only hope to pass the torch on to another writer.ha ha no wait that implies that I'm a good writer to some degree, go read Velox' writing Here. The more I read this, the more it bugs me. As a general rule I skip intros that involve floating, nothingness, regret, blood pain, or any of that junk. It's a cliched opening hook that's followed religiously around this forum, and where it means to be dramatic, it ends up coming off as tired and dull, and nine times out of ten the story never actually ties back in to that intro, so it's a cheap tactic with no weight behind it. But this sentence in particular stuck out because it seems to highlight exactly what's wrong with the trope. He's surrounded by pure shadow and yet it still manages to become even darker for dramatic effect. It seems as though you've become caught up in the story and forgot exactly what you wrote only a couple sentences back. This "amnesia writing" unfortunately comes of as hilarious instead of intense as you intended.I'm going to stop my tirade right there and say that this is not a bad thing. Getting caught up in your writing is one of the most satisfying feelings to a writer, to become so immersed that it redundancy or cliche doesn't matter because it feels real to you.Unfortunately after writing in such a way, we all have to step back, detach ourselves and our feeling from the story that we've come to know and love, and view it with a critical eye. You may personally know the characters and care about them deeply, but that doesn't mean your reader has the same emotional attachment. We need a reason to care, and you can't give that to us without seeing your characters as a blank slate like everyone else does. Start from there, assume that you know nothing, and build your character from the ground up.There's a very good method to create a good environment, story, and even likeable characters, and this is going to be the core of my review. Show, do not tell.Oh, this is important. This is so, so important.Sorry to be blunt here, but we as readers cannot trust you, the author, and take everything you say as the truth. You could say that your Toa is made of eggplants, but we need a reason to believe it. I'll expand on this idea in a little bit, but here's an example of the show, don't tell rule first: This sort of sentence is exactly what I'm talking about. I won't point them all out, but this formula is copied consistently throughout the story. You may tell us that he was ridiculed for his weakness but proved useful, but I have no reason to think that this is true. You could be lying through your teeth here and it wouldn't make any difference because I haven't seen it. I haven't seen the ridicule, and I have never seen him proving himself useful. Instead of wasting your time on a cliche intro that gives us no useful backstory/information on any of your characters, try using it to hook us in by showing this character. Show how weak he is. Throw him in a situation that forces him to expose his weakness, then show us his resourcefulness at work as he escapes, or as Ahji rescues him. I get the feeling that there's a strong but tense relationship between these two, but I haven't seen it because you haven't shown me. Don't tell us how his character works, because if we can't see it it's just another bland biography with no emotion and no effort on your character's part. Anyone can spew facts on a page, it takes an author to make us care about the person behind the facts. You need to sell us the story, you need to make us believe it. Yes, there's such a thing as suspension of belief, but you need to give us a reason to suspend our belief, and a substantial story to pick us up, to immerse us in such a way that we forget that we cannot trust you. Here's a question for you: Who is more credible, a veteran of World War II who was storming Normandy and can tell you what he saw and felt, or a historian who can only tell you how it happened and the numbers behind it?This is what I'm getting at: Your characters are more credible than you because they were actually there, they actually saw it, and they should be the ones telling us what happened through their eyes and feelings. You can only spew facts because you, as the author, can only observe. Here's another example. You are telling us as a historian what happened to this character, but you could be faking the information because you weren't there, and I don't get the feeling that anyone was. If he is there, however, he might feel the chill of the cave, the claustrophobia of the walls, the intangible psychological effects of the dark. What is he thinking about? To me, these are just generic "great doubts" but I have no reason to believe these actually affect him, because I don't feel his doubt and he can't tell me how much the thoughts of his destiny trouble him. It's just another incredible fact (in the most literal sense) to me.Let me clarify here: Not everything needs to be shown through the eyes of your character, and we don't need to feel everything they are at all times. This, for example: This works well because there is no other way to communicate the concept. You could say that he heard the laugh and that it was beautiful and soft, but it would be exactly the same. Discernment between what needs to be told and what needs to be shown will become easier with time. As a general rule, anything that does not advance the plot, develop the characters, or enhance the setting should be abbreviated or cut entirely. Here's another trope that frustrates me to no end. This character is not mysterious or intriguing because she's a phenomenal cliche. A dark, mysterious, sexy femme fatale who laughs cryptically is practically a deus ex machina, a plot device contrived out of thin air to advance the plot quickly without affording an explanation. You don't need to explain a mysterious shadowy being, because they're mysterious and shadowy, as the line of reasoning goes. I'm all the more frustrated because I know that there is no way to reconcile this sort of character. From here, it just gets harder to make her interesting or sympathetic, because every trope branching from this character has been done to death, and even attempting to work her deeper in to the plot will complicate the matter by placing an unstable, unbelievable concept at the core of your story. I'm interested and anxious to see where this epic goes and how you will work everything out. Unfortunately the story has started out with good concepts riddled with weak execution. I genuinely look forward to seeing you to continue to write, so please excuse me for being blunt with this review. I don't mean to discourage you at all, but I'd love to see this epic flower into something brilliant, and I'm here to help you. Please let me know if you have questions or would like advice. I'm not by any degree an expert, but I've spent a fair portion of my time in this forum and even reviewing stories outside of it. I'm still learning as well, so don't take my advice as flawless, and please feel free to refute yourself if you feel I've incorrectly called you out on something that you had intended to keep in.If it makes you feel better, both my Dark Lands and Velox' Chronicles are straight up flooded with hilarious mistakes, awful dialogue, and nightmarish prose.Excuse me for being blunt, and I do apologize for this. Here's the kitten I promised, and the short, polite version of my review:Tl;dr, you need to show us the world through your character's eyes, because they're more credible and we can believe them. As an example, I gave the analogy of a WWII vet and a historian. Who is more credible, and who can draw us into the story with emotion and feelings? Avoid cliches like shadows, remorse, angst, amnesia, and generic dramatic segues with no meaning or impact on the story. I look forward to reading more and seeing you improve as a writer. Beest of luck with the next chapter!

lolhalfninja'd.These guys hit it on the head. There was no field to enter a reason before the board upgrade, so if you recieved the proto boosts (inexplicably titled "warning points") before the board upgrade, that's also the reason.Yes, contrary to all logic, the more warning points you have, the better. Fixing the name to prevent confusion simply isn't high on the "needs to be fixed" list.

Per popular request of the Ambage, we tried to create a script-comedy live in one of our skype sessions. Editing fell to me (I hate you guys) and here's the result. This will hopefully be the last of it's kind, so don't expect guest stars or even a second chapter.So here it is, a legendary event in BZPower's history: The epic writers of today harken back to their ancient days of "ask" studio comedies in a fit of nostalgia-fueled bad judgement! Critics are spread wide on this heavily controversial topic: --- [6:15:26 PM] Kakaru: HI GUYS THIS IS THE "ASK THE AMBAGE" SHOW, WHERE BZPOWER'S MOST PROLIFIC WRITERS ARE STUFFED IN A LITTLE ROOM UNTIL THEY DISCUSS BANNED MEMBERS AND OTHER HORRORS UNEARTHED FROM THE DARK CORNERS OF BZPOWER.[6:15:41 PM] Kakaru: SOUND OFF, WHO'S HERE TONIGHT.[6:15:43 PM] Zarayna: XDXDXD[6:15:50 PM] Kakaru: ZAR![6:16:13 PM] Zarayna: Zar is Nick and Nick is Zar, but Zar is not Nick and Nick is not Zar.[6:15:52 PM] Nick Silverpen: APPROVED.[6:15:55 PM] Kakaru: AND NICK![6:15:54 PM] Aderia: Not me. I'm busy having a lif.[6:16:00 PM] Kakaru: AND ADERIA IS BUSY.[6:16:11 PM] Kakaru: HAVING A LIF.[6:16:23 PM] Kakaru: UNDOUBTEDLY STOLEN FROM OUR WARHOUS.[6:16:48 PM] Kakaru: SPECIAL GUESTS INCLUDE THE NIGH TUGYS![6:17:00 PM] Kakaru: AND GROCHI, THE RESIDENT EVIL![6:17:06 PM] Zarayna: Well, Kakaru, from my latest statement, people might be thinking we're going a little insane here. What's your thoughts?[6:17:18 PM] Aderia: Were you here when I used "meese" as the plural of "moose"?[6:17:20 PM] Kakaru: I'M RUNNING THIS SHOW DARNIT.[6:18:00 PM] Zarayna: This is an ask comedy, and I asked you a question. Is it not your purpose to answer?[6:17:28 PM] Kal Grochi: I'm not the resident evil.[6:17:37 PM] Kakaru: Shh yes you are.[6:17:35 PM] Kal Grochi: I'm the resident wild card.[6:17:41 PM] Kal Grochi: The resident evil is probably Ced.[6:18:04 PM] Kakaru: CEDERAK IS NOT HERE.[6:17:55 PM] Kal Grochi: Maybe somebody else.[6:17:57 PM] Kal Grochi: Aderia, is it you?[6:18:11 PM] Kakaru: RRGH[6:18:13 PM] Aderia: He's like a strawberry biscuit, Grochi. You're just jealous.[6:18:14 PM] Kal Grochi: Like -that- ever happens.[6:18:19 PM] Kakaru: TWELVE SECONDS IN AND WE'RE ALREADY DERAILED.[6:18:32 PM] Kal Grochi: I love you guys. --- [6:24:02 PM] Kakaru: Okay, let's get this boat sunk.[6:24:04 PM] Kakaru: HI GUYS THIS IS THE "ASK THE AMBAGE" SHOW, WHERE BZPOWER'S MOST PROLIFIC WRITERS ARE TAUGHT NECROMANCY UNTIL ALL REMNANTS OF PRETENTIOUS NOTIONS OF GOOD WRITING ARE PURGED FROM THEIR MINDS AND THEY DIE.[6:24:11 PM] Kakaru: WHO'S HERE WITH US.[6:24:30 PM] Zarayna: Well, Kakaru, there appears to be a Zar present.[6:24:44 PM] Zarayna: Where do the others hide themselves?[6:24:58 PM] Kakaru: In our warhous.[6:24:52 PM] Aderia: In bunkers with skylights.[6:25:02 PM] Kakaru: Shh Aderia.[6:25:06 PM] Kakaru: Go back to the warhous.[6:25:05 PM] Zarayna: But we're already stuck in one bunker.[6:25:10 PM] Zarayna: Who wants to be in another?[6:25:20 PM] Kakaru: Is that a legitimate question?[6:25:27 PM] Kakaru: You know the cameras are rolling, right?[6:25:30 PM] Zarayna: Yes it is. Count your blessings I say![6:25:47 PM] Zarayna hits his head against the ceiling.[6:25:57 PM] Kakaru: Darnit Zar, stoppit.[6:26:06 PM] Zarayna: If you can't pass five, I think you can still list them all.[6:26:11 PM] Zarayna rubs his head.[6:26:14 PM] Kakaru: Our ceiling isn't covered by overhead costs.[6:26:31 PM] Kakaru: *rimshot*[6:26:36 PM] Kakaru: Get it?[6:26:42 PM] Zarayna: Yes, I noticed. At least it is better than the damage of Grochi's headbutting?[6:27:05 PM] Kakaru: Er, that's technically not covered by our insurance either...[6:27:10 PM] Kal Grochi: I only headbutt people.[6:27:13 PM] Kal Grochi: Not ceilings.[6:27:22 PM] Aderia: And play harmonica over voice chat.[6:27:19 PM] Kakaru: Hi Grochi also.[6:27:23 PM] Kakaru: Back in the box with you.[6:27:31 PM] Kakaru: Aderia no[6:27:32 PM] Kakaru: Back[6:27:32 PM] Zarayna: And it is detrimental to stomachs, not to mention life.[6:27:35 PM] Kal Grochi: I've been on the chat numerous times without doing tha-[6:27:39 PM] Kakaru: Shh Grochi.[6:27:38 PM] Kal Grochi: NO NOT THE BOX[6:27:40 PM] Kakaru: BACK[6:27:42 PM] Kakaru: BACK[6:27:43 PM] Zarayna: I think out insurance plan needs to be changed.[6:27:47 PM] Kal Grochi: Why do I have to be put in the box?[6:27:51 PM] Kakaru: NO[6:27:55 PM] Kakaru: THE CAMERAS GROCHI[6:28:02 PM] Kakaru: YOU ARE ON CAMERA[6:28:06 PM] Kal Grochi: Wait, camera—Oh.[6:28:00 PM] Aderia: Come on, Grochi. We're not appreciated here.[6:28:10 PM] Kal Grochi jumps back into the box.[6:28:13 PM] Kakaru: Shoosh.[6:28:15 PM] Kakaru: Okay no wait.[6:28:18 PM] Kakaru: Don't go forever.[6:28:30 PM] Kakaru: We need people to send questions in to Zar.[6:28:44 PM] Zarayna: Aren't you questioning me?[6:29:01 PM] Kakaru: I don't know, you seem to have a lot of questions of your own here.[6:28:17 PM] Zarayna: So Kakaru, we're in yet another boring day in this bunker. How do you rate the air today? I think it's a little less breathable. Why is that?[6:28:39 PM] Kakaru: Er, the air is uh[6:28:47 PM] Kakaru: poisoned.[6:28:52 PM] Zarayna: Right.[6:28:57 PM] Zarayna: Explains the good smell.[6:29:10 PM] Zarayna: At least death doesn't hurt too much.[6:29:09 PM] Kakaru: And yeah, arsenic smells like almonds.[6:29:15 PM] Kakaru: Not that I'd know.[6:29:17 PM] Kakaru: heh heh[6:29:22 PM] Aderia: How is that comedic?[6:29:29 PM] Zarayna: Kakaru, is there something you're not telling us?[6:29:35 PM] Kakaru: Dark humour is what all the cool kids are into.[6:29:47 PM] Aderia: Because BZP is so full of those.[6:29:17 PM] Zarayna: I guess I like turning the tables.[6:29:47 PM] Zarayna: Aderia, have you ever seen Zar trying to turn a table?[6:29:59 PM] Zarayna: He can carry them around, but he's never tried turning them.[6:30:15 PM] Zarayna: I understand after the first tries his spiked mace comes out.[6:30:21 PM] Nick Silverpen: Hey is anyone besides Aderia and me doing the write off?[6:30:30 PM] Kakaru: Woah hi Nick again.[6:30:36 PM] Nick Silerpen: Hey Kakaru.[6:30:36 PM] Kakaru: (someone close the studio doors!)[6:30:49 PM] Kakaru: (and the box lid!)[6:30:48 PM] Aderia: Eli! he forgot to close them on his way out![6:30:48 PM] Zarayna: Good lord brothers, let us write![6:30:54 PM] Aderia: Somebody kickban him.[6:31:13 PM] Kakaru: kickban Zar[6:31:17 PM] Kakaru: no wait shoot[6:31:18 PM] Zarayna: Comedy chapter one done.[6:31:20 PM] Zarayna: (Cut!)[6:31:31 PM] Kakaru: That could have gone worse.[6:31:46 PM] Kakaru: NOW THE AFTERPARTY[6:31:50 PM] Aderia: TASTE THE RAINBOW[6:31:53 PM] Kakaru: I HAVE PRETZELS[6:32:02 PM] Aderia: (skittles, anyone?)[6:32:04 PM] Zarayna: I have a ketboard.[6:32:06 PM] Zarayna: Let's write.[6:32:10 PM] Aderia: dude[6:32:13 PM] Aderia: i want a ket board[6:32:16 PM] Kakaru: Ketboards for lif.[6:32:22 PM] Aderia: Gotta be better than a clatterboard.[6:32:27 PM] Kakaru: hahahaha[6:32:38 PM] Kakaru: What are you saying about my presence in voice chats.[6:32:34 PM] Zarayna: ...[6:34:43 PM] Zarayna: Chapter one is 774 words![6:34:48 PM] Zarayna: THIS COMEDY ROCKS[6:35:29 PM] Kal Grochi: (Can I come out yet?)[6:35:31 PM] Aderia: ELI![6:35:41 PM] Aderia: You missed the afterparty.After editing, 1143 words. Zar is a liar and a vagabond.

Cleanse the island to make way for Mata-Nui's return!

You haven't. Well to be fair, your did more or less inspire me to try poeming, so it's about par for the course for a free-verse poem. :v Basically this is how I feel about poeming, but then I was raised on poems by poemers that actually knew how to poem and rhymed about it, like Shel Silverstein. also that last bit is kind of a half rhyme I know but it felt like a good place to stop before the entire thing got really muddled and the rhymes degenerated into prose This, on the other hand,is glorious. Haiku is the only way to freeverse poeming.

no NO NONONO YOU ARE NOT A POEMER WHY ARE YOU POEMING YOU ARE BAD WITH WORDS The blinding gleam of a world revealed A nation fallen, a people healed Canisters open, revealing their worth Tired feet breaking the surf A band of heroes together once more The ache of the journey, bloody and sore A ring of stones, powers combined To sacrifice duty for destiny's time The elders stand in the light of the isle The mountains and trees stretching for miles Matoran step out of their pods, unaware of the danger befallen a city down there Memories gone, a life come anew Village-huts from the ground; black, green and blue Circuits forsaken for the peace of the earth Ignorance, bliss, as evidenced by their mirth Yes, a life comes anew as the old city falls But a shadow murmurs in underground halls Peace cannot stand in the force of a gale The Makuta will rise to destroy and to kill

:c

darnit Sumi that font

you're welcome katie

No I was trying to say that black socks is awesome. Also I note that you're typing in comic Sans in my blog now. Well played indeed. basically this is what I meant to say he doesn't watch it with me either so don't feel too bad he's just indiscriminately cruel

Oops I meant socks but credit where credit is due, I mean Black Six is pretty awesome too what with all the work he does around here thank u andrew

I'm here for the community. My original goal was to become an OBZPC, but I was promoted to staff before I ever got that far, so goal failed I guess. I'm glad I've been given the opportunity to help out the most important community I have ever had the honour of being associated with. BZPower has affected my life in so many ways and I have countless amazing memories. Everyone here has helped me improve in my writing, art, building, social skills, and everything else that nobody IRL ever cared enough to ask about, and I cannot express how thankful I am to everyone.In eighty years, if our community is dissolved and everyone has all but forgotten about that old line of toys Lego once produced, I want to tell my grandkids about the best part of my childhood, and that is being able to chill with everyone here.

:sunglasses: hey hey you know what you should come visit me and we should go to Cascade this March

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAROB YOU ARE THE MOST AWESOMEST DUDE EVARKEEP BEING AWESOME AND HAVE BIRTHDAY PRESENTS