Multiverse

I think the neck is good.

What to do with it? Why not ink and colour it? Something dark green would seem fitting, IMO.

It may not be your best work, speaking proportionally, but you have an immense sense of details (the gloves, the little skull, the bats). The face really is quite good, as well.

Something that puzzles me a bit, though, is how you suddenly jump elegantly across many of the techniques I´ve seen you using so often before, when they would more seemingly fit well here. The hair, for instance, looks two-dimensional, with it being parted by a single straight line, instead of curving it along the head, which would seem more appropriate, IMO. That, and it seems slightly - if only very slightly - disturbed by the line going up her waist, combined with a strangely straight back (which I would personally have expected more curving inwards).

~MOSM~

I´m going to throw myself into life as a wordsmith/artists, in addition to whatever I decide to do as an impulse.

~MOSM~

Aww, I was hoping you would be online so I could disturb you after not seeing you in two weeks. =/

Happy vacation, then.

I feel this way every day; when I was younger I thought "One day I'll be someone important because everyone tells me I am clever"...

Now I feel I'm just one of the many people who had walked over this spinning planet. Lately I've become very pessimist about my future

Naive as I try to be, I kinda still think so most of the time.

And Taka, you shouldn´t be so pessimistic. Look at all the talents you have, and begin working your way into society. Begin immidiately. Nobody tells you not to write a book or paint a masterpiece just because you´re not fully educated yet.

I, for instance, make sure always to have at least one full-length novel in-the-works. I never had anything released, and didn´t expect to, but it keeps the ambitions and the mood up. =)

Welcome back, although it´s probably quite late. The thing is, I also just came home from a similar school trip. Just to be certain, yours wasn´t in Denmark, was it?

According to the date mark in the corner of your entry, you´ll return on wednesday, which is the day I leave for a school trip until sunday.

So, see you next monday. =J

-MOSM-

IMO brilliant - though may I suggest sticking the eyes to the masks instead of the actual faces? That way it´d be much easier to give them emotion; something that´s probably not very easy with game-standard level of graphics.

Good to see some more of that story. This is the last part you sent me for beta-reading, wasn´t it?

You´ve changed the role of Saira, haven´t you? I remember her appearance being different, more weak/old-ish, and therefore more immortally powerful. To be honest, I preferred her like that, although this isn´t bad, either.

Also - forgive me for not posting this in the review topic - only two things. One, being grammar purely, probably don´t even count. When Morrillier said 'What is 'us'?', I think it should be more appropriate using the phrase 'What are 'We'?', since 'We' was the word Taka used.

The other is that it was too short. I could have the whole text on my screen at the same time. So length, Taka, length. Put on some more of the deep, emotionally descriptions you´re proving yourself so talented at. =)

-MOSM-

I did. Then it crashed my computer. But considering its gameplay value, I can forgive it.

No need to say that everyone agrees, is there? That should be obvious.

I couldn´t have guessed that. =/

Now, can you tell where the lyrics in my sig are from?

A really good choice of adjectives, and most of all, a brilliant twist of events. I´m not sure I´ll be able to read that story again without consequently believing this to be where the cards comes from.

You can draw faces. You can draw them enormously well, and the same counts for the expression to put on them. That´s something I envy you a lot.

Another thing, you should certainly consider inking it. It really is astounding, IMO nothing short of what you see in most good graphic novels and such.

-MOSM-

I am frightenly sorry. My thoughts and hopes will be for him/her and his/her family and friends.

Personally, I think we should stick to the rahi sets. There´s lots of them already, counting the Master Builder Set.

That being said, it´s a good design.

-MOSM-

That seems to be really fun.

Just to be certain of what colour 'navy' is; it´s you with the glasses?

-MOSM-

Which means I´ll be the age you are now in... only 14 months! =D

Then again, you could say that at any given time.

But happy tomorrow! May you have an enjoyable day.

EDIT: Wait, now it´s today. Happy Today, then!

If your protagonist was a sheet of cardboard before, he must be something like a solid concrete wall now! =P

This is - and that´s is in no way meant as offensive towards the original piece - a great improvement from the first. The characters are far better explained, and I think a lot of people will sympathize Orion for liking birds.

If anything, his fall seems a bit odd - I understand what emotions and desires you put as a reason for him jumping off the tree, still I doubt that anyone, even with the influenceable mind of a child (btw, how old is he supposed to be? You mention he´s three years older during the second part, so it seems that you´ll make his age matter. Yet, we don´t get to know it?), would jump off a tree believing they wouldn´t get hurt. Especially since he seemingly expects to fly.

Also, I like how you end the chapter in a twist (although this is only the start, so I suppose you´re just putting up a direction, rather than 'twisting' it), but isn´t it a bit early for the main protagonist to be shocked like this? I personally would´ve preferred to have that revealed later, and instead made some minor clue to it with which to end chapter one.

But anyway, great story; I wouldn´t even be surprised to see it published. I´ll have to keep up with it this time.

Living pictures, how amusing. The blinking eye is great! =D

 

Is there supposed to be sound to it (because it looks like that, but I don´t hear anything)? =)

 

~MOSM~

Hee hee, thanks ^^

 

Well, even though she's supposed to say 'hello', this is a gif animation (as you can see), so there can't be sound.

I was just wondering whether I could animate a speaking mouth... yeah.

 

Then I´ll conclude that you´ve succeeded, seeing as I was kinda-tricked by it. =)

Living pictures, how amusing. The blinking eye is great! =D

Is there supposed to be sound to it (because it looks like that, but I don´t hear anything)? =)

~MOSM~

You´re improving at both writing and drawing. I can´t avoid thinking of it as your best yet.

Those figures in the last pic is a glorious detail, in regards of both plot and drawing.

Also, english? Has your school´s magazine converted to english, or are you editing it just for our sake? =)

-MOSM-

that is pretty amazing

Absolutely. Is this gonna be used in the NG project? =)

Naaah, if I were a Vampire I couldn't go out into the sunlight. but I love the sun that much

BREAKING NEWS

 

RARE CASE OF A VAMPIRE WHICH LOVES SUN

 

EXPERTS DIDN'T EXPECT IT

 

MORE AT TEN O' CLOCK

Hmm... is 'sneezing when exposed to sunlight' a valid symptom of vampirity?