Ghosthands

IC (Dakte) Dakte, equipped once more with his crystal armour, weapons and other personal effects, returned the bows of his new travelling companions. "Is there anything else we should know about this 'Ko' region?" he asked. "The bitter cold your people describe is all but unknown to us Dasaka. Will we need any particular equipment or clothing to deal with it?"

IC (Tallik Vao, Lower City streets) Tallik cocked an eyebrow at Cylund. "Are we famous now, Cy?"

OOC: Korero, Leah, Stannis and Sulov from Ta-Wahi. IC (Korero) Four Toa Maru now stood in a previously-empty house. As the Hiko's glow faded, Korero looked around the small house's single room for Oreius. But the Toa of Fire was nowhere to be seen. "Something's wrong," he said, unease creeping into his voice. "Oreius should be here."

IC (Korero) Korero restrained himself from asking Leah any questions about Reordin. He could see from her body language that now would not be a good time. Instead, he simply nodded and closed his eyes, visualising their destination. "We're headed for a small house in the west of the village," he said as his mental image house's interior crystallised and the Hiko accepted it as the Jump target. "It was abandoned during the initial attack. Oreius and I have been using it as a safe house. He'll be waiting for us." He looked up at Sulov, placing a hand on his shoulder (roughly level with his own head). "You first, big guy." The Toa of Air and Earth disappeared in the Hiko's white flash. A heartbeat later, Korero was back, taking Stannis and Leah by the arms and Jumping them too. Of the Maru, Reordin alone now remained on the Infernavika. OOC: Korero, Leah, Stannis and Sulov to Ko-Wahi. IC (Lohkar) Lohkar watched the Maru disappear. "Your mates vamoosin', eh?" he asked Reordin.

IC (Lohkar) "Well, if you've killed all 'is competition," commented Lohkar (who had been unable to resist entering the verbal fray) from behind Taleen, slapping a hand down on her shoulder, "it stands to reason that 'e'd be the coolest around, dunnit?"

We've also got a few 'one-offs': custom species that have been approved for a specific player character, but not for general use. Examples include a Kaiakan (the BZPRPG version of Sidorak's species) and Voxumo's insectoid Chivinix.

I didn't use the words 'abandoned' or 'deserted': I said 'left behind'. That's just a neutral description of what she did as a result of her flanking maneuver. Regardless of the wider situation or anyone's personal interpretation of it, she brought only one of the troopers with her, ergo she left the others behind. Yes, that is a problem in RPGs, and it works both ways. I haven't seen Black Hawk Down, but bear in mind that this was a group of backwater scavengers (who were even described as 'rag-tag' when introduced) against trained Imperial troops. Even if Mia's men had little battlefield experience, they were still trained stormtroopers, and they had Raltz and his Inquisitorius crack troops alongside them, plus air support from the shuttle. Mia made no attempt to contact any of her troops (who all have comlinks in their helmets) besides Dak. It's hard to understand why she didn't try to give her troops leadership and direction, especially if the situation was as chaotic as you saw it. And yet, as soon as I'm actually in the game, everything seemed to go wrong. Suddenly nobody seemed to want to respect Mia and kept treating her as a rookie even though her profile clearly said otherwise. Next thing I know I pull a few moves that seemed like they made sense at the time, and suddenly she's dead. I'm afraid this comes down to the old writing adage of "show, don't tell". Ultimately, a character will be judged by their actions, not the adjectives you choose to use when describing them. Let's say I create a character, and I say in his profile that he's really funny and witty and likeable. But if all the jokes I have him make are awful Christmas cracker-level puns, how do you think people are going to perceive him? Or I write up a supposed strategic genius, only to have him make a series of tactical blunders? I don't mean to disparage your writing skills, but Mia's actions and decisions simply didn't come across (to me, and to the other players I've spoken to) as those of a competent military officer, especially within the context of the Galactic Empire and its ideologies. If you don't understand why that is, take another look over those bullet points I gave you in my feedback post. Some of it can be put down to differences in mental image, I'm sure. On that note, however, it might be worth examining just why you've often had a different mental image to the rest of us. Some degree of difference between different people's mental pictures is unavoidable, of course, but it seems to me that there's a certain amount of context that you're missing. For example, you evidently haven't read very much of what was posted in this RPG prior to your joining, to the extent that you didn't even know why the Inquisitors were on Taris in the first place. There's also the matter of knowledge of the Star Wars universe: as I said before, I'm not sure you fully grasp the authoritarianism of the Empire's ideology and methods. Both of those could be remedied with a relatively small amount of reading (the first few pages of this RPG in the former case, some Wookieepedia articles in the latter).

IC (Tallik Vao, Lower City streets) "Seedy planet, seedy bars," Tallik replied. "There's a few good ones, though. The Hive'd be one of them, but I doubt they're open for business right now." He shot Cylund a glare. "Besides that, the best place around here is the Stray Tach." IC (Raia Veyura, junkyard outskirts) Veyura winced. "I'm amazed you'd let that man near a shaken can of Turbofizz, let alone military-grade munitions."

Here's what's been going on in the Inquisitors' side of things since you went AWOL: Liare, Raia and Nokon took a shuttle down to Taris' surface after Costa, checked in at the hotel she found, and split up to conduct their own searches for the Republic pilot, Rav. (What Nokon did from this point on is up to you.)A squad of Inquisitorius troopers, led by Sergeant Raltz Nightwing, followed them down from the Insight for added manpower.As part of his own investigations, Liare instructed Raltz to take a team out into the junkyard where Rav's B-Wing crashed and recover the starfighter's data core and astromech, accompanied by Lieutenant Mia Arkada of a local Imperial base and a squad of her troops.On arriving near the crash site, they were attacked by heavily-armed scavengers. While Raltz and the troopers fought them off, Mia left all but one of her troops behind in an attempt to flank the scavengers and managed to capture (and befriend) one of their more reluctant members.With the help of the scavenger turncoat, Mia proceeded to find the B-Wing. Ignoring Raltz's instruction not to access the highly classified data within, she attempted to access the B-Wing's computer without taking any precautions, and thus a safeguard activated and shut down all its systems (and likely wiped the data core).Raltz reported Mia's actions to the Liare, who reported them to Costa, who ordered Raltz to detain Mia and set off for the crash site to deal with the situation personally. Liare went after Mia's subordinate Dak, who had fled the scene with the captured scavenger, and Raia headed for the junkyard to rendezvous with Costa.Costa interrogated Mia before summarily executing her for her actions, then publicly pinned the blame for her death on the fugitive Republic pilot to provide a cover story for their manhunt.The Inquisitors had Taris' governor put the planet on alert to find their quarry, and mobilised another two Inquisitors (Kaz and Varis) and more troops from the Insight.And that's pretty much where we are at the moment: searching for Rav. Costa and Raia are on a speeder bike heading back out of the junkyard, Liare's in the Stray Tach, and Kaz and Varis have just landed at the Imperial garrison. If you want to have Raine meet up with any of them, you can just have him radio them and ask for their location. As for Zale, last I remember he'd been trying to follow Dov's non-Inquisitorius Dark Side guy, correct? If you were planning on having him end up with other Force-sensitives, there's a few of them in the Stray Tach. EDIT: @Atton: I suggest you read this post if you're not aware of why Rav, and by extension his B-Wing, is so important to the Inquisitorius.

IC (Raia Veyura, Taris junkyard) "Malak wasn't a gentle dentist," Veyura replied dryly as she kicked the speeder bike into gear. "The planet still hasn't truly healed from his bombardment. Perhaps it never will." Veyura paused, steering the bike back towards the city, and for a few seconds the only sound between the two Inquisitors was the humming of repulsors and the whistle of the air rushing past. "Did you ever study the theory of wounds in the Force?"

IC (Raia Veyura, Taris junkyard) Veyura flicked the bike's sound system on and cycled through a few frequencies. The unmistakeable sound of a Bith jizz band blared from the speakers for a moment, then static. A few bars of a Mon Cal soprano warbling from Squid Lake. Static. Some talk radio: "...the new diet that'll have you as thin as a Kaminoan in no time...". Static. Then something with a beat. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwLy_eIsoNQ

IC (Tallik Vao, Lower City streets) "Of course. Arguably, though, the best sight you can get of Taris is from space...moving away from it, if you catch my drift. Are you looking to see that particular view?"

IC (Raia Veyura, Taris junkyard) "I'll hold you to that." Veyura hopped back astride her rented speeder bike, and patted the passenger seat behind her. "Don't be shy. I promise I'll drive safely."

IC (Raia Veyura, Taris junkyard) "I'm against overmedication, actually. What you need is a nice glass of water."

IC (Lohkar) Some people will tell you that the good ship Infernavika ain't the most beautiful piece o' wood that ever sailed the Endless Ocean. And y'know, maybe they were right once, back when a certain backstabbin' Skakdi was her captain. Back when her crew was packed full o' wholly unsuitable individuals due to sub-par recruitin' practices. Back when some worm-ridden piece o' Ruki fillet thought it'd be a great idea to bolt a load o' metal onto her previously-sleek hull. Awful management decisions. Raknar puts the 'sap' in 'Saprillian', you mark my words. But no more. The sight that greets Reordin Maru's Barmy Army as they reach the Ta-Wahi port is truly a masterpiece of shipwrightery, a jewel among large floating objects. From the sweeping curves of her red-tinted carpentry to the crisp white sails upon her masts, to the sun glinting off the barrels of her new heavy disk launchers peeking through their gun-ports, my dear ol' 'Vika is a sight to see. Arguably* the finest vessel to grace these Mata Nuian shores since times o' myth, she is. She's moored up to the long black finger of a cooled lava flow (apparently that's the firespitters' idea of a pier) with the choppy blue sea stretching out behind her to the horizon. As for her illustrious captain, well, he can't resist the opportunity for some showmanship, can he? When we left the bar†, I discreetly disappeared off to run a few quick errands before regroupin' with the groupie group. Namely, pickin' up the results of some commissions I'd made during the indeterminate length of shore leave we'd enjoyed before signing up for Commander Maru's mercy mission. Thus, as I leap down onto the quay to welcome my new shipmates to my mobile home, I'm decked out in the fruits of other people's labours: my Grapnel Gun, newly compactified‡ by a local Vortixx, hangs proudly on my belt beside a watertight pouch containing my Magic Map; my slim frame is resplendent in a smartly-tailored longcoat of navy blue, and a matching tricorn is perched upon my head with just the right amount of jaunt. You've got to look the part in these situations, because as the saying goes, you never get a first chance at a second impression. "Ladies an' gentlemen," I proclaim as I stand beside the gangplank, arms akimbo, and the sea wind whips up the tails of my new coat, "it is my great pleasure to present to you: the Infernavika!" ___________ * I argue that she is. † Alas. ‡ Technical term. Look it up.

IC (Dakte) "So close to this place, and yet so different..." Dakte mused. "And they mentioned a desert region too, didn't they? And a jungle? This island's climate is truly bizarre."

IC (Raia Veyura, Taris junkyard) "You do know how to get me hot and bothered," Veyura replied nonchalantly. "How are we doing, then? Does it look like the data's going to be recoverable?"

Yes, I think that would be a good idea. I'm glad you're open to feedback. I think the perception of Mia as being incompetent and naive can be drawn mainly from a) her interactions with the Inquisitorius PCs and b) her actions during the retrieval mission. Let me point out a few of them: Mia's first interaction with the Inquisitorius is to butt into their communications (still debatable whether she should've even been able to do that) and complain about their decision to stay in a hotel.Mia deliberately uses Raltz's first name despite his request for formality, with the express intention of annoying him.Mia allows Dak to remove her helmet in the middle of a firefight.Rather than direct the troops under her command from cover, as an officer should, Mia tries to outflank the enemy with the help of one (rookie) stormtrooper. She then describes this as them 'getting scattered'.Mia orders Raltz to use minimal lethal force, despite it being standard Imperial procedure (and very much standard Inquisitorius procedure) to use lethal force in these situations.On finding the B-Wing, Mia takes no precautions whatsoever when accessing the computer. For all she knew, the ship could've been rigged to explode, let alone wipe its data. It would be standard procedure to wait for techs to arrive and scan for security countermeasures, not leap straight in.The thought never crosses her mind that the data might be classified, despite knowing this is an Inquisitorius operation on which she and her troops were only auxiliaries, and despite Raltz having told her he's not authorised to give her any details on what exactly they're looking for (although arguably he could've made that clearer).Mia refers to herself as Raltz's C.O. when she's not. Although she is of a higher rank than him, chain of command doesn't work that way: Raltz is an Inquisitorius trooper, on an Inquisitorius assignment, answering directly to Inquisitors. Liare gave him the mission personally and instructed him to bring Mia and her troops along for additional support. Mia was never in charge of the mission.Mia acts as though Raltz knew they would be randomly attacked by scavengers.Ultimately, I think one of the biggest problems with Mia was that you were trying to fit a square peg (Mia) into a round hole (the Empire). You tried too hard to make her sympathetic, to the point where she was uncompromisingly 'nice', putting her personal principles before Imperial protocol and the success of the mission. Making sympathetic Imperials is a great character idea, but you have to do so realistically, looking at how much they could plausibly get away with given the rigidity and harshness of the wider Imperial regime. They might be reluctant about following protocol in some situations, and they might have trouble squaring it with their morals, but ultimately they're part of the Empire and they have to do what's expected of them. It's appropriate that cognitive dissonance was mentioned earlier, because that's exactly the kind of thing you'd need to explore. Mia was particularly unlucky in that she got tangled up with the Inquisitors. The Inquisitorius are ruthless even by normal Imperial standards. Mia should've known the Inquisitorius by their fearsome reputation, and realised that things her usual superiors might let her get away with wouldn't slide with these guys. She'd have been wise to play it cautious, or risk ending up...well, the way she has now ended up. (Side note: Tarkin is really not the guy to bring in to try and make Mia look respectable. He arguably lies beyond even the Inquisitorius end of the sympathy spectrum. The man was willing to blow up a planet of innocent people just to make a point. Mia's the opposite of the kind of person Tarkin would approve of when it comes to 'getting things done'.) I hope that helps you see why Mia's been perceived the way she has. I think a lot of this boils down to you not quite having a complete mental picture of how the Empire operates, so I'd recommend doing some reading on Wookieepedia, particularly on the Imperial Military and the Inquisitorius. Make sure you understand the structure, ideals, and MOs of the organisations we're working with here. Also, if I may, a few points of general RPing advice, particularly regarding your use of NPCs: You've shown a tendency to jump ahead and 'magic' your characters forward to wherever you want them to be in spite of what's going on around them, in some cases without giving other players a chance to post. Examples include Dak and Evnairis getting all the way from the junkyard to the Vulkar base despite Liare being at the elevator they'd have had to use, and Mia being inexplicably whisked away for medical care after being shot. I get that there were certain things you wanted to happen, but it's kind of bad form to just plow ahead with them regardless of the actions of other PCs.You've also been rather liberal about creating and taking control of NPCs, and treating them like they're PCs. Dak and Viseria were largely harmless cases of this, but Evnairis was one of the GM-controlled scavengers and DT-24601 was an Inquisitorius trooper who should have been under Keeper's control (hence why you were asked to stop with her).A lot of the time, it seems like you're just trying to write your own stories at the exclusion of other players. Your characters seem to interact more with NPCs controlled by you than with other PCs. There's nothing technically wrong with that, it comes down to personal preference, but I've always found that the real fun of RPGs is having your characters interact with those of other players, seeing how those relationships form and change as the game progresses, and how the characters evolve organically as a result.Again, I hope that helps. We all want to have fun here, but we also want to tell a consistent and immersive story.

IC (Raia Veyura, Taris junkyard) "Understood, Chief," Veyura replied over the comm. "I'll be with you in five." The Umbaran was at that moment zipping across the vast junkyard on a rented speeder bike. It was a pretty little thing, like a slender silver-scaled fish, and it wove nimbly between the hulks that rose up like beached whales above the sea of rusted debris. As her path opened out into a wider, flatter area, she kicked down on the accelerator pedal and the repulsors brightened their electric blue glow, propelling her towards the B-Wing crash site at even greater speed. A smirk tugged at her mouth as she rode. Hearing Costa execute that idiot lieutenant had been just the thing to brighten her day. *** The humming whine of repulsors announced Veyura's arrival. The Inquisitor brought her bike to a stop a few metres away from the crashed starfighter, dismounted, and approached Costa and Raltz. Her expression was straight-faced and professional, her glee hidden perfectly.

IC (Raia Veyura) "I'll head to the debris field myself and take care of any runaways," came Veyura's voice over the comm. "I've got transport. Meet you at the crash site."

IC (Merror) "It was never just about finding Echelon, Agni," Merror sighed, sounding just as tired as his fellow Ta-Toa. "Every time I've faced him, he's had an advantage or some means of escape. If we could get inside that lair, we could find something, anything, to give us an edge against him. And at the very least we could put a cleansing flame to the place, and destroy the sick experiments and Mata-Nui-knows-what-else he keeps in there. "But you're right. We need to turn our attention to Ko-Koro. That, or regroup with Dorian. Perhaps both."

IC (Dakte) The slightest hint of a frown creased Dakte's brow at the mention of Soraph. He had previously respected the high-ranking Vilda, but her recent eagerness to study those repulsive slug-creatures (Panakuta, was it? Paraluka? So many unfamiliar words to learn...) had put him somewhat on edge. There was also something odd about her friendliness with the natives with whom they would now be travelling, something he couldn't quite put his finger on. Still, this seemed like a sensible mission. Bringing the Six to justice was rightly a priority, but avoiding involvement with the natives' internal conflicts would be a wise move. And it would satisfy the part of him that yearned to see more of this strange, dangerous, beautiful island. "I see," he said, stoically suppressing both unease and excitement from his voice. "When do we set off?" IC (Tazera) Taz cocked an eyebrow. "Oh?" she replied. "It doesn't involve sampling the local drinks, does it? Swimming? Sparring? All of the above? No, wait, don't tell me...you've secretly got Vilda Kulrik locked in the brig and you want me to punch some sense into him?"

IC (Merror) Merror nodded briskly. "You try northwards, I'll try southwards." The two Toa of Fire strained their elemental senses, searching for a blip of warmth that might be their missing Matoran. But try as they might, they felt nothing: nothing but the empty cold of the Drifts. "It's no use," Merror groaned. "He's gone. Back to his old master, I'll bet..." The Ta-Toa cursed under his breath. "How did he give us the slip so easily? How could I have been so blind? We'll never find Echelon's lair without him, let alone get inside safely. This puts us back where we started."

IC (Echelon) "Shrewd," Echelon replied. "But that is not what I was referring to. I have been informed that Agrona took it upon herself to disperse fully half of the treasury's contents among the populace." The Dark Toa wore a tight-lipped grimace of barely-contained anger. "And you had no involvement with this?" OOC: Just to be clear what Echelon's talking about.

IC (Dakte) Dakte sat cross-legged beside his bunk, eyes closed and hands resting on his knees. The Menti was alone in the bunkroom: all its other occupants were either enjoying Ga-Koro’s hospitality or tending to duties elsewhere on the Ryuu. For the umpteenth time, he exhaled deeply and tried to clear his mind of thoughts, as Mako had instructed him on their walk back to the Matoran village. It was the simplest of preparations for Willhammer training, a mental exercise that could easily be practiced anywhere without the need for a partner or other focus. It was the first stepping stone in that river, the highest and the dryest. It should have been trivial. And it seemed to be downright impossible. Emptying his mind felt like bailing a sinking ship, or trying to stamp a stubborn bump out of a rug. No matter how many thoughts he clamped down on, others sprang up to take their place. Part of it, he began to realise, was a direct result of the Menti training he already possessed. His Soulsword was ingrained into his subconscious, every inch and detail of its shape, lying just within a thought’s reach and ready to be pulled into physicality at a moment’s notice. His Mindarm training was interfering too, making him instinctively reach out to sense the objects around him: their size, their weight, and how much force would be needed to pull, push or lift them. Now he began to understand why Battlemasters were so rare. It was as though each discipline pulled in a different direction. Their individual techniques were like discordant melodies that refuse to harmonise. Mastering two had been difficult, but to add a third would take a mental flexibility that Dakte was not sure he possessed. Nonetheless, he would not give up at the first hurdle. He gathered his will and tried once again, pushing his thoughts away and letting pure, calm blankness replace them. He resisted the sense of the matter around him and let the memory of his Soulsword slip away. His instincts tugged at him, trying to pull his attention back to those well-worn techniques, but he resisted their call until it died away, and then… There. For a blissful moment, his mind was clear, with all thoughts and senses and mental preparations stripped away to leave only an indescribable sense of self. Of simply being. And then the sound of footsteps outside the door shattered his reverie, and jerked him back to the world. Stiffly he rose to his feet, joints protesting after sitting cross-legged for so long. He touched a hand to his forehead and closed his eyes, but the moment of clarity was gone, out of reach. Still, he had reached it. And if he had done it once, he could do it again. Buoyed up by that small success, he went to the door and opened it to find Mako waiting outside. “Datsue,” he said with a small bow. “What do you need?”