Popular Post NickonAquaMagna Posted December 14, 2013 Popular Post Posted December 14, 2013 (edited) Well, I hope that caught your attention. Welcome, reader, to my opening presentation of Bionicle- Nova Orbis, my new fan series. Introduction http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2013/348/7/1/bionicle__nova_orbis__introduction_by_nickinamerica-d6xtxvr.png Year One- Mystery of the Toa Miro (COMPLETE!) Prologue >> http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-N-O-Mystery-of-the-Toa-Miro-Prologue-426019578 Chapter One >> http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Mystery-Chapter-1-427228809 Chapter Two >> http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Mystery-Chapter-2-431550583 Chapter Three >> http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Mystery-Chapter-3-434519382 Chapter Four >> http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Mystery-Chapter-4-437949756 Chapter Five >> http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Mystery-Chapter-5-440758134 Chapter Six >> http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Mystery-Chapter-6-443777744 Chapter Seven >> http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Mystery-Chapter-7-447235190 Chapter Eight >> http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Mystery-Chapter-8-454633534 Chapter Nine >> http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Mystery-Chapter-9-455271446 Chapter Ten >> http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Mystery-Chapter-10-455909785 Chapter Eleven >> http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Mystery-Chapter-11-456767361 Chapter Twelve >> http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Mystery-Chapter-12-457418024 Chapter Thirteen >> http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Mystery-Chapter-13-491214253 Chapter Fourteen >> http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Mystery-Chapter-14-491770905 Chapter Fifteen >> http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Mystery-Chapter-15-492358110 Chapter Sixteen >> http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Mystery-Chapter-16-493120621 Chapter Seventeen >> http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Mystery-Chapter-17-493740558 Chapter Eighteen >> http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Mystery-Chapter-18-494459608 Chapter Nineteen >> http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Mystery-Chapter-19-495418483 Chapter Twenty >> http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Mystery-Chapter-20-496366791 Chapter Twenty-One >> http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Mystery-Chapter-21-496760858 Chapter Twenty-Two >> http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Mystery-Chapter-22-497308651 Chapter Twenty-Three >> http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Mystery-23-497929009 Chapter Twenty-Four >> http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Mystery-FINAL-CHAPTER-498467602 Year Two- Return of The Toa Miro Chapter One >> http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Return-of-The-Toa-Miro-Ch-1-550422042 Chapter Two >> http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Return-Chapter-2-552237095 Chapter Three >> http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Return-Chapter-3-553232287 Chapter Four >> http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Return-Chapter-4-554157033 Chapter Five >> http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Return-Chapter-5-555276127 Chapter Six >> http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Return-Chapter-6-556553140 Chapter Seven >> http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Return-Chapter-7-559626314 Chapter Eight >> http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Return-Chapter-8-561020111 Chapter Nine >> http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Return-Chapter-9-564809369 Chapter Ten >> http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Return-Chapter-10-566196532 Chapter Eleven >> http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Return-Chapter-11-567165321 Chapter Twelve >> http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Return-Chapter-12-568301134 Chapter Thirteen >> http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Return-Chapter-13-569260135 Year Three- Journey to Caelum Chapter One >> http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Journey-to-Caelum-Chapter-1-627088509 Chapter Two >> http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-JtC-Chapter-2-Perspectives-629875679 Chapter Three >> http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-JtC-Chapter-3-Skakdi-632290840 Chapter Four >> http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Journey-Chapter-4-Gunpoint-634265815 Chapter Five >> http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Journey-Chapter-5-Witchery-639207274 From now on, this thread will be reserved for new entries in the series itself, with new chapters added in links above, while concept art and character designs will be posted in another thread, here. http://www.bzpower.com/board/index.php?showtopic=11597 Sorry guys, but due to how huge some of these files were as PNGs, I had to compress them waaaaay down to be able to post them here. However, I will include links to higher-res versions of these as we go on. Pretty nostalgic, isn't it?Yeah, it's just a loose retelling of the events that occurred near Bionicle's end, with Mata Nui and Makuta duking it out over Bara Magna.A big theme of this project is the integration of the Matoran and Agori cultures that I assume would follow, illustrated by those sculptures of Toa and Glatorian heads seen on the cover, and also shown in this sequence, with the shrine being based on a Glatorian arena despite the idols used to tell the story being the ones the Matoran used in the good ol' days. So, that's the introduction, and granted, it is the only "comic" part at the moment, but there will be more to see in the coming weeks. For now, here's an overview of the planet this is set on. http://fc02.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2013/347/a/6/bionicle__nova_orbis__planet_overview_by_nickinamerica-d6xtza3.png I wanted to make it feel like those cutaway pages featured halfway through each of the old Bionicle comic books that would show and describe characters and locations an' whatnot, you know? One issue would show off a new island, the next would show off the Matoran, and the next would show off the Toa, and the next would show off the bad guys, and so on. The little arrow at the bottom is pointing to the next section, heheh. Here's a closer look at the island, and a glance at the Matoran that live there. http://fc02.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2013/347/6/d/bionicle__nova_orbis__miro_nui_overview_by_nickinamerica-d6xu28a.png Again, if some bits are hard to see, just click on the link above. Aaaaaand here's a closer look at the Matoran, the final part of this presentation. http://fc02.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2013/347/5/5/bionicle__nova_orbis__the_matoran_by_nickinamerica-d6xu1kf.png ...Yeeeah, this piece suffered the most. Sorry, guys. I think I overdid it. Still, there's always that link. In some ways, this is kind of the "Mega Man ZX" of Bionicle.It begins a long time after the previous series left off, containing a few references to older things (such as these new Turaga who should be familiar to some) but not enough to complicate things, and it is still, for the most part, its own story, a fresh start. The Matoran, much like the Reploids in that series, have changed and become more lifelike. Yep, you get the idea. And yes, I know "two tribes are missing". Not everybody went to Nova Orbis, guys. The Av-Matoran, Fa-Matoran and Matoran of the other tribes are still back home, on Spereus Magna. This is about a crew of Matoran from SOME tribes forming a new civilization on a faraway new world.Matoran tended to be 80 or so percent mechanical with some bits of tissue here and there and a few organs, while Agori were almost human, being mostly organic aside from a few... implants. These new Matoran are more like 50-50.The Ta-Matoran, as you can see, have adopted the artistry of the Bara Magnans, mixing craftsmanship not last seen since the days of Metru Nui with the style of a sister race from another world. I think this is the best example of the two cultures coming together and forging a new one.The Onu-Matoran are a homage to Toa Onua, and the other Toa Mata of the good ol' days. It just made sense to me that these guys may eventually evolve to look like this, with compact bodies, glowing eyes, and hands and feet like those of a shrew. And no, that drill is not a part of him... it's just a tool he's holding. He's got a good grip. I think this background is my favorite, showing the two worlds these guys have spread throughout.The Le-Matoran are the complete opposite of the Onu-Matoran. They are now quite clumsy on the ground, and hop to and fro between their "bird houses".That Ga-Matoran was the first new Matoran I designed, and man, is she my favorite. It was supposed to be a quick, spur of the moment throwaway sketch, but when I saw how adorable she ended up being, I smiled and made the most of it. As you can see, her feet are wide and flipper-like, and her fingers are webbed (though not her thumb, since that would make it difficult to grab things.)The Bo-Matoran are... something of a fusion of frogs and monkeys. Yeah, I dunno what I was going for when I drew that guy.It's unfortunate the Vo-Matoran look so much like the Ko-Matoran. Oh well. That Po-Matoran... it's like the mask is less a part of him than for other Matoran... and his eyes don't ever glow. Neat, huh?While the Ga-Matoran have a lifestyle more like that of their days on Mata Nui, the Ce-Matoran are a little more in tune with the culture and architecture of Ga-Metru. They also have the most beautiful eyes of the bunch, I think. I really like how they turned out.That Ko-Matoran's mask is a homage to Kopeke. His feet, inspired by the rounded Toa Inika foot piece, are like snowshoes.That lanky De-Matoran is a homage to Toa Krakua... and yes, I made his village as dull and generic as could be on purpose. That's kinda the joke, with these guys.That Su-Matoran, aside from the Ga-Matoran, was the most fun for me to draw.And the Ba-Matoran... uh... yeah... Every impulse to go one way, I had to fight and go the other way. Every thing I've learned about body proportions an' whatnot, I threw out the window when designing this... thing. Is he even wearing a mask? In the end, I think I've more or less succeeded in creating something creepy, ugly, and... oddly endearing. Overall, you can see how much these little dudes have changed since the old days... and YES, they are still "little". Though they are much more fit and less... stumpy than before, they still only reach 3 feet off the ground, four at most. They are essentially pigmies.So, assuming Toa are still twice as tall, will we ever see any? Well, sure, someday.... but I'm sorry to say, I won't be making a full blown comic series out of this... well, not QUITE, anyway.I'm going to take a different, more manageable approach. Every now and then, I may upload a serial, a new chapter in this story, and whip up a few illustrations to go along with it, so that it's presented to be LIKE a comic. I hope that's enough for now. I have a lot of ideas, a lot of places this can go, and I hope this presentation of Nova Orbis has you guys psyched for it. I've put my all into creating a strong base to begin a new story from, so here we go.I hope to really get this moving next year. Thoughts? Edited October 9, 2016 by NickonAquaMagna 1 22 Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/
~Nova~ Posted December 14, 2013 Posted December 14, 2013 This is looking spectacular so far, in my humble opinion. You're doing something I have always wanted to do---in a slightly different way, granted,---and it's looking so promising! I have always been enchanted by the idea of making the Matoran less machine and a little more "lifelike", having them leave to the stars to begin afresh...But I've yet to get the guts and present such a story to anyone. Moving on from that: seriously, I am stoked just seeing this. I hope things go smoothly for you so we can see this happen next year. I'll definitely be keeping an eye on this! Quote
NickonAquaMagna Posted December 14, 2013 Author Posted December 14, 2013 Thank you. Sorry to say, I'm not sure how often I'll be able to post updates, because I have other things to work on, but I'll try to have a new chapter online every coupla' weeks, if I can. Right now, I'm just looking for support from other diehard Bionicle fans. Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/
NickonAquaMagna Posted December 22, 2013 Author Posted December 22, 2013 (edited) Hey guys, just doing a quick update. I have two chapters of Nova Orbis' first arc written down, and I'm working on the third. When I finish these, I will link to them in my Deviantart gallery, if that's okay. That's where I upload all of my comics an' whatnot. In terms of art, it's still in the early stages. I have a good idea of what I want most of the characters to look like, but it's just taking a while to finalize their designs. However, here's some of what I've whipped up so far. http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2013/356/6/a/bionicle__nova_orbis__various_new_pieces_by_nickinamerica-d6yweld.png When I design the Toa for this story, I want it to be plausible for them to have a canister set counterpart. You may recognize this leg piece, or that armor piece, but for the most part, I'm also trying to add to those with new pieces.No, there will not be a character with such a crazy color scheme. These pieces are color-coded so they'll be easier to tell apart.The yellow armor pieces are just a little something to bulk up figures, kinda like the various shoulder armor in the 2009 sets, and some pieces introduced in Hero Factory's Breakout line. As you can see, they fit over a Toa Metru leg quite snuggly. Probably not an Inika leg, but hey, there could be a different size made for that. This piece was inspired by the armor introduced later on in the Knights Kingdom line of buildable figures.The bright green head piece was partly inspired by the frankly quite bizarre head piece introduced in Hero Factory's brain attack line. As you can see, it is compatible with both Kanohi masks and Glatorian helmets.The cobalt foot piece is designed to double as a sort of backpack, both to bulk up the flat Inika build torso and to give a place to store weapons like the Toa Metru did. You can already do this with the Inika feet, to an extent, though haphazardly. This piece is more streamlined and "filled out" and simple-looking than most feet, mainly to fit with the whole theme of the new generation being less mechanical than in the old days.The dark green stomach piece is also compatible as thigh or shoulder armor, though it wouldn't look quite as good, that way.Before we get to the other chest armor, notice the Inika backbone piece? Well, I've designed a slightly smaller backbone piece to go with it, so that not all of the Toa look the same in terms of their build (heck, I may also make a "super-sized" backbone piece). It's also more versatile than the normal Inika backbone, as it doesn't already have balls protruding from all sides of it.The bright blue chest armor is made to be used in, well, a few different ways. Rightside up, is fits into the smaller backbone piece. Upside down, it fits over the Inika backbone. The hole in the center can easily fit a Barraki eyeball, or the classic lego stud, made to look the glowing "heartstones" characters had in the old movies. As you may guess, it can be used for female characters, but that isn't its only use, nor does it have to be used that way.The orange chest armor is wider than the blue one and made mainly for the Inika build. It can fit over the two Inika chest pieces, but also fits over the blue armor piece, which looks something like ribs when flipped around.The new hip piece leaves out the kibble that the Toa Metru hip piece had. The lack of the pistons above the hips adds clearance for, say, a Toa Metru chest piece (colored cyan, to the right) to slide over as a sort of crotchplate, or just to bulk the figure up a bit... from the rear. Huh. You can already kinda sorta do this with the Toa Metru hip piece, just to make the build more sound and life-like, but it doesn't feel right. This hip piece also comes in three sizes.The grey pins with the ball joint on the end would make is a cinch to create a hunchback character, like Onua. Just stick it through the front of the chest piece(s), and bam!Anyway, that's it. This should give you some idea of what some of the characters in Nova Orbis may look like, as Toa. I'll come up with some new leg pieces, more armor an' whatnot, but that's it for now. That's it for now!Feedback is appreciated. Edited December 22, 2013 by NickonAquaMagna Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/
-Windrider- Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 I have two chapters of Nova Orbis' first arc written down, and I'm working on the third. When I finish these, I will link to them in my Deviantart gallery, if that's okay. That's where I upload all of my comics an' whatnot. Linking to the dA gallery is absolutely fine.Anyway, this looks wild. The depth of the project is very clear. My only question is pretty minor: the panels in the comic in your opening post look uneven by design. I'm wondering if it would be more visually tidy if you constructed symmetrical and even panels when possible. Was there a specific intent behind the choice? Quote
Katuko Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 I like your style here. The Matoran look recognizable, while still having more Agori-esque traits in their armor design. I'm not sure if I'm entirely sold on your Le-Matoran redesign (being quite nostalgic over the classics) but it's definitely a nice idea you've got there. 1 Quote
NickonAquaMagna Posted December 22, 2013 Author Posted December 22, 2013 I have two chapters of Nova Orbis' first arc written down, and I'm working on the third. When I finish these, I will link to them in my Deviantart gallery, if that's okay. That's where I upload all of my comics an' whatnot. Linking to the dA gallery is absolutely fine.Anyway, this looks wild. The depth of the project is very clear. My only question is pretty minor: the panels in the comic in your opening post look uneven by design. I'm wondering if it would be more visually tidy if you constructed symmetrical and even panels when possible. Was there a specific intent behind the choice? Well, you see, I draw these on paper, then scan them, then use photoshop to color them. I use a ruler to make the borders of the panels, and I rarely make them perfectly straight. Sorry. When I do make the images for the story, though, I think I can just crop out the edges to make them more even.I like your style here. The Matoran look recognizable, while still having more Agori-esque traits in their armor design. I'm not sure if I'm entirely sold on your Le-Matoran redesign (being quite nostalgic over the classics) but it's definitely a nice idea you've got there. ...yeah, I'm still a little mixed about them, too. As for their build, I wanted to make them bird-like, but I may have cone just a little far with the hands and feet. If it's their color scheme that puts you off, well, I need them to stand out from the Bo-Matoran. Having two tribes that are all green would seem kinda silly to newcomers, and being a fresh start, this is as much a story for them as for people who have been with Bionicle since the beginning. On another note, when these chapters are finished, I'll link to them in the opening post. Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/
NickonAquaMagna Posted December 24, 2013 Author Posted December 24, 2013 (edited) Just another quick update, guys. Sorry for double posting, but this is pretty important. From now on, I'll be posting all the concept art in its own thread, which I'm going to link to in the opening post, and this thread will be reserved for new story entries, though feedback is always appreciated, so feel free to post whatever comes to mind. For now, here's a peak at the sort of things you can expect to see, there. Ain't she somethin'? Once I've settled on a few more of these designs, I'll get around to uploading the first chapter. Edited December 24, 2013 by NickonAquaMagna Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/
SarracenianKaijin Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 The colouring could be a little more muted and less bright. The garish purples and greens takes me out a bit. Quote -------------- Reach Heaven by Violence. And while you are at it, see Bionicle characters as Magical Girls.
-Windrider- Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 (edited) Ooh, I really like that weapon. I'm wondering if the right shoulder "attachment," for lack of a better word, could use some remodeling, though. It seems to throw off the overall balance. And double posting in this forum is fine, as long as you're posting a new update. Edited January 5, 2014 by -Windrider- Quote
NickonAquaMagna Posted January 5, 2014 Author Posted January 5, 2014 Ooh, I really like that weapon. I'm wondering if the right shoulder "attachment," for lack of a better word, could use some remodeling, though. It seems to throw off the overall balance. Well, yeah, I understand if the asymmetry is a bit much... but having two such lightning rods seemed redundant to me and, well, it might make her look too much like Mata Nui. I figured the size of the bow alone, when in her other hand, would add some balance. Does it? Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/
-Windrider- Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 A bit, yeah, but in having thought about it, it just doesn't seem as sturdy as the rest of the figure. Quote
NickonAquaMagna Posted January 5, 2014 Author Posted January 5, 2014 A bit, yeah, but in having thought about it, it just doesn't seem as sturdy as the rest of the figure. Yeah, I know what you mean. On the original Mata Nui figure, the spindlyness of the inside of the arms was something that bugged me. It just seemed lazy. If you have some spare Toa Metru chest plates to spare, though, putting those on the inside of the arms bulks it up, and it looks much better. Try it out, if you haven't already. You'd be surprised. Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/
NickonAquaMagna Posted January 10, 2014 Author Posted January 10, 2014 (edited) It's here, guys! The beginning of Bionicle- Nova Orbis serial! http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2014/010/b/9/bionicle__n_o___mystery_of_the_toa_miro__prologue_by_nickinamerica-d71n2t6.png Also found above, in the opening post. All of the upcoming chapters will be posted up there. Watcha' think? Edited January 10, 2014 by NickonAquaMagna Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/
Zerothemaster Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 I haven't read all of it, but all I know is that intro comic is mata-nui-cursed beeeeeyootefull. Fills me wit' happyness, it do. But also this: In some ways, this is kind of the "Mega Man ZX" of Bionicle. ILOVE YOUUUUUUUU Quote The Drawing Room (Comic) ~ Mata Nui Adventures (Comic)Lost Forgotten Souls (Comedy) ~ Bad Images (Comic) ~ Reality (Comic)
Onaku Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 I love the Prologue, and I can't wait for the first chapter. Keep on making this wonderful, wonderful thing. Quote BZPRPG Profiles
NickonAquaMagna Posted January 16, 2014 Author Posted January 16, 2014 Chapter one comin' up tomorrow morning. Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/
Stroxx Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 (edited) I have already commented a bit on this back over DA, so I'll just go and loose my sh-... my smelt over here. Dudedudedudedudedudedude-thisissoimmense-dudedudedude-omgthesheerquantity-dude.. It's just. So much. While I've always picked on you for quality, this is just - overwhelming. It even makes me loose my ability to write grammatically sound and coherent sentences. I really only came up here, to see if my thread has sprouted any new replies and hey! Isn't that bub from DA who posts stuff like if he was a group of people just himself? Definitely. I like that guy. And then this. I just feel flimsy with my own little thread, and I'm actually supposed to do this for a living when I finish college. So, back on what the thread is about. It was so good to have something like this just pop up here after I'm finally done with all my exams and the whole semester. The prolouge is really well made, and I just laugh at myself when I think back that 'Haha.. A few years he just told me that he wouldn't make so big panels' and '... he won't be slowing down the flow of the story with posting less text in one panel'. And then you just nail it. The compositioning is just awesome. I can just feel the whole thing dripping from nostalgia fueled love while you laboured over each panel. Most of these guys probably haven't seen how you've started off over DA, but boy, do I feel proud when I see you just skyrocketing another level and exactly doing the things I've also poked you for then and now and excel at it to top it off. You did evolve a lot because I just keep scrolling up and down to have another look at the prolouge to see what else can I say about it. And that is good. So, spacing? I love it. Texting and dialouge? Times New Roman isn't exactly for comics and it could use some background of sorts to divide it from the visual parts (like bubble but not speech bubbles and the like). But your storytelling is always spot on. Design and execution? Sure, there are still a few things to improve on, it's mostly details I always whine about, but you'll learn eventually. A longer analysis on this is for another comment, because there is only so much text I can handle in one sitting. Haha. I'm goint to reiterate myself, you've come a really long way. I love what you've done so far and it's so extensive (concept art thread included) I really wish it was printed out so I could just cover my table with it and see them at once. Also, consider yourself finding competition. This thread screams for blood. On to glorious battle! But first... lunch... Because I'm kind of hungry... Edited January 16, 2014 by Stroxx Quote New pages are up! Click to see latest! \(°u°)/ Gallery & conceptart topic - Current: Pre-mut & pre-ev Makuta: Krika | Antroz | Vamprah | Miserix | Bitil | .. Older pics: Helryx's Fury | Makuta Sethuldur | Order's Call (no necro k? C8)
NickonAquaMagna Posted January 16, 2014 Author Posted January 16, 2014 (edited) Oh hey, it's you! Cool, thanks. I can't say this is how I'll be doing EVERYTHING from now on... I mean, of course I want to go back to making actual comics, soon. But this has been a great chance for me to learn all sots of new things I may never have tried otherwise, things that will go a long way to make my art in general better, from now on.Well, it's finally here! Chapter 1 of Mystery of the Toa Miro! This is a big one... http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Mystery-Chapter-1-427228809 And in case you missed it, here's the prologue. http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-N-O-Mystery-of-the-Toa-Miro-Prologue-426019578 Hope it was worth the wait. I put a lot more work into each of the illustrations than I usually do in normal comic pages... which is why this took so long. Maybe I need to make fewer illustrations.I've just realized that I may not have done enough to differentiate Calor's average body from the more athletic Le-Matoran in panel 3... I'll make him more... "Takua-looking" in future chapters.And yes... Ol' Ahkmou is still around. He was the mysterious Po-Matoran who appeared in the prologue, as one person guessed. His mask is a bit different, but this look just seemed right for him. I tried drawing him with his old mask, but... I just couldn't make it look good. This mask that we saw another Po-Matoran wearing a more lightly colored version of, though, fits him just right... at least in the context of this new story. AND YES... you CAN shake someone's hand that way. I've tried it. It's as awkward as it looks.I wanted to draw all of the Matoran tribes, but... this chapter already had so much going on in it, I just couldn't add anything more. We'll get to see each of them in due time, though. And we WILL meet Matoran from some of the other tribes in the next chapter. I really wanted to give you guys a sense of SCALE with this chapter, and just how populated this land is, as we start out in Calor's small slice of heaven and quickly expand to other parts of the island. With this introduction to these Matoran characters, I hope I've made an impression.That's it for now. I'll try to have the next chapter online by Monday, this time. Edited January 16, 2014 by NickonAquaMagna Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/
Onaku Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 Amazing first chapter there. I do hope the second one isn't far behind. Man was I not expecting to see Ahkmou there. Quote BZPRPG Profiles
NickonAquaMagna Posted January 19, 2014 Author Posted January 19, 2014 Sorry guys, but it turns out you will need to wait a little while for the next chapter... and each one after that. I just have too many other projects to get around to to let this be what I do all the time. I don't want to outright CANCEL this project, but I do need to find a better way to go about it... so here goes. From now on, alongside the usual pages of the other comics I upload on Deviantart, I am also going to whip up a new illustration (YES, JUST ONE) for Bionicle- Nova Orbis each day... if I have the time to spare on it, that particular day. I am also going to try making fewer illustrations (just less than ten, maybe around seven) so you won't have to wait as long between new chapters. I'll try to have a new chapter online every two weeks at the latest, but sooner if I can help it.I apologize to those of you who really REEEALLY wanna see the rest of this story play out as soon as possible, and who were looking forward to seeing the next chapter tomorrow, but... I have other things to do, and this is the best way I can think of to go about it without it getting in the way of my other projects. In the meantime, I'd appreciate whatever feedback you guys can give. I've put a lot of work into this, and I'm going to keep doing so, but I don't want to do it alone. Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/
Makuta of Time Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 I like the prolouge, but I couldn't read the first chapter. I even went into deep link but could not read the text. My might make a fan art of this. It looks good. Quote
NickonAquaMagna Posted January 21, 2014 Author Posted January 21, 2014 I like the prolouge, but I couldn't read the first chapter. I even went into deep link but could not read the text. My might make a fan art of this. It looks good. Was the text too small? Was your computer unable to load the whole thing? Did the transparent background make it blend in with a darker browser background? What's the problem? Maybe I can help. Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/
Onaku Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 I don't mind waiting, reading quite a few webcomics over the last few years has instilled patience into me with these things. Just take your time, and make sure the result lives up to standards. Quality over quantity. Quote BZPRPG Profiles
Makuta of Time Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 I don't think mt phone browser was able to load the text. I need to try on computer, bht the text looked blurry when Ilast opened it in my phone. Quote
Onaku Posted January 22, 2014 Posted January 22, 2014 (edited) A few things just came to my mind, will this story be in multiple story arcs? And is there a threat to come? Because it seems to me like there isn't anything threatening the existence of the matoran... Edited January 22, 2014 by Toa Onaku Quote BZPRPG Profiles
Stroxx Posted January 22, 2014 Posted January 22, 2014 A few things just came to my mind, will this story be in multiple story arcs? And is there a threat to come? Because it seems to me like there isn't anything threatening the existence of the matoran...I guess there might be. He has a tendency of balling events into a big storm of epic. I'm sure it will get quite intense in the time of a few weeks, or months. Quote New pages are up! Click to see latest! \(°u°)/ Gallery & conceptart topic - Current: Pre-mut & pre-ev Makuta: Krika | Antroz | Vamprah | Miserix | Bitil | .. Older pics: Helryx's Fury | Makuta Sethuldur | Order's Call (no necro k? C8)
NickonAquaMagna Posted January 22, 2014 Author Posted January 22, 2014 A few things just came to my mind, will this story be in multiple story arcs? And is there a threat to come? Because it seems to me like there isn't anything threatening the existence of the matoran... Oh, there is. The Matoran just don't realize it. It's a big world, one they've only explored a tiny chunk of. Anyway, there will be multiple arcs. Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/
Onaku Posted January 22, 2014 Posted January 22, 2014 A few things just came to my mind, will this story be in multiple story arcs? And is there a threat to come? Because it seems to me like there isn't anything threatening the existence of the matoran... Oh, there is. The Matoran just don't realize it. It's a big world, one they've only explored a tiny chunk of. Anyway, there will be multiple arcs. I'm glad to hear it. This world has so much potential for story. Quote BZPRPG Profiles
NickonAquaMagna Posted February 3, 2014 Author Posted February 3, 2014 (edited) Chapter 2 is online! Enjoy! http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Mystery-Chapter-2-431550583 After all that zipping around from place to place last chapter, I felt like making some quiet, character building scenes. We're also introduced to a few new faces who will become more relevant in upcoming chapters.And yes, the Matoran now have teeth. ...'cept the Ba-Matoran.I had so much fun with the Vo-Matoran scene. For those who are curious, her music would sound something like this. (skip to 00:27)And I suppose her lil' love song that she played for Calor would sound something like this (minus the drums). (skip to 00:09) So, whatcha' guys think of these recent developments? Edited February 9, 2014 by NickonAquaMagna Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/
Makuta of Time Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 Very interesting chapter. I was not expecting Matoran to turn into Toa. Most interesting indeed. Keep it ip my friend. Also, I'll listen to the songs later. Even though I am a fan of the Rachet & Clank series. Quote
Stroxx Posted February 7, 2014 Posted February 7, 2014 I really love your writing, but I guess I've already said that a few times. All the tiny little details like a gesture here and there just make it even more immersive. And the time put in the pics was well worth. What was a bit off for me is the sizing of the picture. My computer screen might be too small, but I had to scroll left and right to see both the illustraions and the text. It's nothing serious though. Still, I really liked it. Can't wait for more. Quote New pages are up! Click to see latest! \(°u°)/ Gallery & conceptart topic - Current: Pre-mut & pre-ev Makuta: Krika | Antroz | Vamprah | Miserix | Bitil | .. Older pics: Helryx's Fury | Makuta Sethuldur | Order's Call (no necro k? C8)
NickonAquaMagna Posted February 9, 2014 Author Posted February 9, 2014 (edited) Thanks for the feedback, you two. I'm sorry to say that... I haven't even really begun the production of the next chapter yet. In fact, I only just started writing it yesterday. I just haven't felt that motivated, lately. Understand one thing, guys. This is not "what I do". This is just a side project stacked upon other projects that already occupy a big chunk of, if not MOST of my time... and I don't want this to be a distraction from that. While I do enjoy working on this, I need there to be results. After a few days went by and still hardly anyone had anything to say about the latest chapter, to see my efforts being largely fruitless, I was pretty dispirited and just gave up for a little while. Checking back here now, I'm glad to be getting some input from you guys, but still... I dunno what I'm doing wrong, but this just isn't catching on fast enough. I guess it would help if I embedded a link to this thread in my sig, but aside from that... I want to know what people think about this. I don't just want people to say that it's "cool" or whatever. I want to know how they feel about all the little aspects of the developing Matoran culture, what they think of the characters, how this particular scene or that particular conversation made them feel... things like that, you know? I need to know that I'm leaving some kind of impression on people, and so far, I'm just not seeing enough of a reaction to make the time and effort it takes to make these chapters worth it. I know this makes me sound like I'm just looking for attention, but... well, YEAH! I am. This isn't something I want to keep to myself. It's something I'm making for ALL Bionicle fans to get something out of, and while it's nice that apparently hundreds of people have LOOKED at this... it would be nice if a few more of them had something to say. Not just compliments, but actual FEEDBACK. This whole world has been whipped up for fellow Biofans, and your feedback will help the world develop more than you know. Anyway, thank you for that, Stroxx. Edited February 9, 2014 by NickonAquaMagna Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/
Onaku Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 Well, I hadn't taken time to reply on the latest chapter, so my apologies for that blunder. Anyway, I truly am looking forward to what wonders this story you are making will hold, like I said, it has such potential. I truly do like the cultures you have developed for each and every matoran aspect, and the characters you have made are wonderful, on top of the canon characters you have brought into this story. All in all, I am gleefully waiting for the next chapter, but should you give up on the project, I would understand, even if it were a terrible shame. Best of luck to you. Quote BZPRPG Profiles
NickonAquaMagna Posted February 9, 2014 Author Posted February 9, 2014 Well, I hadn't taken time to reply on the latest chapter, so my apologies for that blunder. Anyway, I truly am looking forward to what wonders this story you are making will hold, like I said, it has such potential. I truly do like the cultures you have developed for each and every matoran aspect, and the characters you have made are wonderful, on top of the canon characters you have brought into this story. All in all, I am gleefully waiting for the next chapter, but should you give up on the project, I would understand, even if it were a terrible shame. Best of luck to you. Thank you. I won't give up. The next chapter may take a little longer to finish, though, given such a late start. 1 Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/
tahukan Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 Wow! Great job i love this just amazing the amount of effort put into it it litteraly is the next chapter in the bionicle universe i think ill check in here frequently Keep it up mate! -Tahukan 1 Quote
Onaku Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 Another thing I want to say, is how inspiring it is to see you put this up here. Finally, I am actually starting to do something about the story I myself have been developing in my head (and through my moc's) over the years. Rock on, mate, and thank you. 1 Quote BZPRPG Profiles
Faybos Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 Heyo, Faybos here. As a fellow artist in this forum I'm enthralled by the beautiful work you've been putting out recently and I commend you for putting the pedal to your story. The characters are quite interesting and I hope to see them develop further as the story continues. Keep up the good work. 1 Quote
NickonAquaMagna Posted February 10, 2014 Author Posted February 10, 2014 Thanks for the support, guys. I'll try to finish writing the next chapter and whip up illustrations by the weekend. I know you'll come to love this world even more as you see more of it. 1 Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/
NickonAquaMagna Posted February 16, 2014 Author Posted February 16, 2014 (edited) Good news, everyone! Chapter 3 is online, and on schedule! This will also be added to the opening post. http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Mystery-Chapter-3-434519382 The journey begins... No CalorxVenti shipping, please. They're just really good pals.Anyway, this chapter makes me want to bring up something that I knew would have to be delved into sooner or later... so we may as well, now.Even so, the whole mixed gender element of tis story is still a pretty confusing thing for the modern Matoran. Even as alive as they've become, they don't have actual sexes. They still don't have all the necessary... equipment... to reproduce like the Agori were able to (though some, like the Po-Matoran, are getting pretty close to evolving to such a point), so at least for now, the only thing that really determines male or female status is whether they have a "male" personality or "female" personality, as if there is any such thing (though I do draw some, such as Banhi, with expressions and builds that convey femininity). Color-coded genders is such an outdated concept, one that I know more than a few Bionicle fans are tired of.So yeah, I know I'm blurring a lot of lines with this story and these characters. I know Greg Farshtey said that Matoran are incapable of love... not a brotherly love for your comrades or a heroic love for your people, but you know... THAT kind of love. Macku x Hewkii shippers feel dejected, myself included, and to be honest, I think he only said that because he felt pressured to or something, to keep this children's toy line from becoming too naughty... You know, puritanical western society, blablabla... though we can safely say that was thrown out the window in 2009 with the introduction of the Agori, hence the modern Matoran. So where does it end? Where does it START? Can Matoran have relationships? Can they be life partners? Can they find a soulmate in the face of one who shares their gender? How much does their color or gender factor into their choices? Is their gender REALLY a significant part of their person, or something superfluous? All of these are... well, let's just say it's not our business. I mean, we actually hear Calor say "Love you!" to Banhi, but it's that casual, spur of the moment way you'd say it to someone in your family or a friend you were really close to. They aren't actually an item, so don't go crazy just 'cause of that one line.Again... I'm just showing how much the Matoran have become like us. Not just physically, but in the way they act.Anyway, this is a pretty confusing time for the Matoran. They don't act like it because, well, this is all they know (this current generation, anyway), but I suppose you could think of these changes as being akin to going through puberty... only, you know, on a race-wide scale.Sooooo yeah... that's all I'll say about that for now. Should make some good food for thought for the time being, though.Anyway, as for this chapter... yeah, I did a time skip. I know it seems really early to do such a thing, but this is for the best. This is where the story's really going to take off. We have a lot of characters to juggle around, but to keep things from getting too jumpy, we'll be seeings thing play out from three characters' perspectives. Calor, Mieli, and Ahkmou. Anyone else they meet along the way will just sorta tag along with them until all of their stories converge into one later on in the first story arc.Remember, this is "Mystery of The Toa Miro," as in, "Let's find out why the Toa Miro haven't come back." That's going to be the main focus of this first arc.Yes, Matoran use actual beds, nowadays. Not a rock like in the old days, more like... a waterbed, but filled with thick goo. Some Matoran use blankets to keep warm, but for most, it makes so little of a difference that they don't bother... such as Mieli.That motorboat has a lot of traditional system pieces thrown in there. It's nothing special, but still... I know there are a lot of brick snobs who have always hated Bionicle figures because "The pieces are so weird and complicated and you can't do ANYTHING with them!", so I threw that in there for them. ...Then again, they'll probably never read this story anyway, sooo..... eh.We'll get a good look at another vehicle, Ahkmou's sandmobile, some other time. Yes, that would be a set if this had an actual toy line... so would Mieli's skiff. That would probably be the smallest and cheapest, and have a minifigure of her rather than an actual figure. Though, I suppose such a thing could also be made pretty easily for a Matoran sized figure if made with technic pieces. While we're at it, I feel like bringing up just where the heck Ahkmou is... http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Miro-Nui-Overview-419626954 I suppose I should've drawn the forest in the background of panel seven, but having the wounded Matoran pass through there just wouldn't work. I suppose I'll expand the northern border of the desert, but at the very least, we could say that Ahkmou's "gallery" is at the very fringe of it, a little ways past the forest. I know, it's screwy and inconsistent. Sorry.I really love that last panel... and panel six.Anyway, that's it for now! What do you guys think of the direction this story's taking as of this point?It's be a coupla' weeks before the next chapter rolls around, as always, so feedback is much appreciated in the meantime. Edited February 17, 2014 by NickonAquaMagna Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/
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