Embers - Review Topic

[Nato G]

And we're off! Book 3 - Disunity - has begun. As always, new chapters will be added weekly. 

[kawaii kitty]

you should get the whole thing printed out and bound once you are done

[Master Inika]

I just read Chapter 24 of Book 1, so I'm farther than I was during my first readthrough. So many different plotlines are juggles and managed so well.

I'm still getting used to reading terms like Ta-Toa. I know it's arbitrary and just a personal whim but I have been conditioned on the forums for so long to read those terms as wrong that it feels like whiplash reading them used so much especially in something that otherwise feels so official.

[Master Inika]

Here's my review of Book 1 - Darkness:

Wow. This really is a masterpiece. It took me 15 days to read it all (averaging about 2 chapters per day) and I'm a little sad that, at this rate, I'll be all caught up by March and won't be able to binge-read them anymore. I put Book 1 into a word processor and I'm sure you know this already, but for everyone else reading, it's 147 pages (over 57,000 words), which is well over the length of one of Greg's Bionicle books. This feels very much like the direction he always wanted to take Bionicle in but had to keep it corporate and kid-friendly.

What stands out is not just the grittiness but the humor and really human moments. The Toa discussing how Keerakh predictive tracking works and realizing it doesn't make any sense sounds exactly like how my friends and I talked about Bionicle in fifth grade. It's dark but it's not grimdark just for the sake of shock value. There's nothing that wasn't at least hinted at in the original story and everyone reacts appropriately. Your version of Metru Nui feels taken out of the animation style of Templar's Vahki animations, creepy and Stepford Wives-ish with how the "enlightened" Toa and Matoran act. (I know this is way too much to ask for, but a Templar-style animation of Embers would be cinematic.)

My favorite Toa character is probably Savnu (but I have always had a weakness for sassy strong-willed female characters).

I'm excited to get started with Book 2. Just Metru Nui itself felt so expansive and busy, I almost forgot the rest of the Matoran universe and its danger still existed.

[Nato G]

7 minutes ago, Master Inika said:

Here's my review of Book 1 - Darkness

This is high praise, thank you! I hope the rest of the series lives up to the standard set by the first instalment. 

[Master Inika]

(I'm on Chapter 7 of Book 2 currently.)

I feel like having two Iden-wearing characters is kind of a cheat. I loved all the creative uses we got with Orane, but I always assumed that unlike, say, the Mask of Healing (which seems like an intuitive mask to mass-produce) there would be some reason why not every Toa Team has at least one Iden. It's a pretty overpowered mask when you think about it. There are so many plot points in BIONICLE revolving around secrets (the Comet plague on Mata Nui, Makuta disguising himself as Dume, Takadox betraying the other Barraki, etc.) that would all have been much harder to pull off if the Iden were so common. It's a small criticism but it would have been a good opportunity to introduce a new mask power that also allows the user to spy on others, like allowing them to see/hear through nearby Rahi like insects. (I always found the Staff of Presence an interesting concept for a power that was underused.) It's just a small gripe, though.

Everything else continues to meet the high standard set by Book 1. I have to admit, I anticipated Book 2 would be a continuation of the Toa vs. Vhel fight, and I was almost worried that the Archives raid, the Moto-Hub fight and rescuing the Av-Matoran were all getting too climactic too fast. I didn't know how you could keep this energy up for six whole books of the same length and quality, but boy was I surprised by the kind of direction Book 2 would make. B1 did a great job making Xia, the Dark Hunters and the rest of the universe seem like old news, so I didn't even consider they'd be making an appearance. Now with all the allusions to Bara Magna and the Red Star, I have high hopes for what's coming next.

[Nato G]

5 minutes ago, Master Inika said:

I feel like having two Iden-wearing characters is kind of a cheat. I loved all the creative uses we got with Orane, but I always assumed that unlike, say, the Mask of Healing (which seems like an intuitive mask to mass-produce) there would be some reason why not every Toa Team has at least one Iden. It's a pretty overpowered mask when you think about it. 

That's fair. 

For what it's worth, my reasoning for including a few in the story is specifically due to that OPness and rarity. As opposed to common mass-produced masks, I felt that an Iden has such massive tactical value that certain parties would potentially go out of their way to acquire or preserve one.

Given the factions in play, it didn't feel right for the only functioning Iden left in the entire universe to be in the hands of one random Toa.

2 minutes ago, Master Inika said:

I didn't know how you could keep this energy up for six whole books of the same length and quality, but boy was I surprised by the kind of direction Book 2 would make. B1 did a great job making Xia, the Dark Hunters and the rest of the universe seem like old news, so I didn't even consider they'd be making an appearance. 

That was the intent. Somewhere in my very early plans, all of the Vhel stuff was going to be wrapped up in the first book, with the League being the villains of the sequel (and another new faction being the antagonists of the final book). I realised pretty quickly that going in that direction was too convenient and predictable.

Having different threats and agendas clash and overlap, forcing unexpected dynamics, alliances, and compromises is much more fitting for the chaotic, morally-grey tone I was going for with this story. 

2 minutes ago, Master Inika said:

Now with all the allusions to Bara Magna and the Red Star, I have high hopes for what's coming next.

This is definitely a story that grew in its telling. I originally expected it to be a trilogy, but it expanded in scope as I came up with more ideas and started to identify more canon details I was interested in playing around with. It's been a balancing act to feature so many plot threads, but I'm happy with how it's all come together.

[Master Inika]

Gods of Ga-Metru was a great chapter. I love in general how much you do with how sterile and dystopian Metru Nui really is. Mata Nui was always about how natural beauty, but Metru Nui never seemed like a particularly nice place to actually live. The Vahki animations made it look claustrophobic and crowded, while the Toa Metru animations made the city seemed empty and lifeless. Finally seeing Ga-Metru and making Tuxar a self-promoting prosperity preacher was really something I wasn't expecting going in and it was glorious.

[Nato G]

4 minutes ago, Master Inika said:

I love in general how much you do with how sterile and dystopian Metru Nui really is. Mata Nui was always about how natural beauty, but Metru Nui never seemed like a particularly nice place to actually live. 

Metru Nui never seemed like a great place to me, either. I remember my first time reading the Metru flashback series; the longer it went on the more I wondered why the heck they wanted to go back. Aside from the higher level of tech, there was nothing appealing about it. 

That said, I did still try to give some attention to the distinct geography and architecture of each Metru as I featured them in the story. I didn't want the entire city to feel like a featureless grey industrial zone. Ga-Metru in particular was a great setting to add some colour and chaos. 

4 minutes ago, Master Inika said:

Finally seeing Ga-Metru and making Tuxar a self-promoting prosperity preacher was really something I wasn't expecting going in and it was glorious.

This is up there as one of my favourite subplots. Given how effectively some people in the real world have built cults of personality around themselves, it was fun to explore how that sort of thing might play out with someone who actually had the power to back it up. 

[Master Inika]

"No summoning the Zivon" got a laugh out of me.

There's so many great ideas going on here. Lesser authors (like me) might come up with one or two really interesting BIONICLE characters and explore them in-depth in a story but you've got like 12. It was such a rewarding payoff to finally get to see Tuxar after he kept being alluded to here and there and he's a glorious despicable revivalist preacher, I feel like I could read a whole story just about him, but by Chapter 10 there's so much extra new stuff happening.

[Nato G]

2 minutes ago, Master Inika said:

Lesser authors might come up with one or two really interesting BIONICLE characters and explore them in-depth in a story but you've got like 12. 

My biggest gripe with a lot of Bionicle's waves is that - despite each year having a team of six - the story tended to focus very heavily on one "main" character (eg. Vakama, Matoro), and everyone else was... just kinda there. That was something I really tried hard to avoid with this story. Obviously the POV characters pull most of the focus, but I wanted everyone to feel real and individual, and have at least one standout moment at some point.

In my notes, almost every single character who appears in the story has a name and at least a few sentences of description. Some of that detail never made it into the story at all, but it, but that background still informed the way I wrote those characters. I'm happy to hear all of that work is paying off. 

[Master Inika]

On 2/9/2026 at 5:21 AM, Nato G said:

My biggest gripe with a lot of Bionicle's waves is that - despite each year having a team of six - the story tended to focus very heavily on one "main" character (eg. Vakama, Matoro), and everyone else was... just kinda there. That was something I really tried hard to avoid with this story. Obviously the POV characters pull most of the focus, but I wanted everyone to feel real and individual, and have at least one standout moment at some point.

In my notes, almost every single character who appears in the story has a name and at least a few sentences of description. Some of that detail never made it into the story at all, but it, but that background still informed the way I wrote those characters. I'm happy to hear all of that work is paying off. 

Very Ernest Heminway of you. It does indeed pay off. I did have to keep notes myself to keep track of the characters. There are in particular more than a few "girl power" Toa (not that I'm complaining, strong female characters are my kryptonite) but aside from Savnu (Mother is still my favorite) I still get some of their characters, like Pahlil/Pira/Bihriis/Tivni, mixed up mentally without my list.

I now realize that while Embers has a good gender ratio (definitely way better than canon), all four of Vhel's Hagah are male. I count 20 male Toa, 9 of which are female. This does make Vhel's Toa all being male interesting to me. Did you have any thought process behind that? On one hand it makes sense to me, especially as a statement on the way Greg wrote women (he seemed to enjoy writing evil women, specifically Gorast and Roodaka, so this story is fine without them). But it also creates the slightly comical mental impression to me that Vhel is not an equal-opportunity employer and only wants to corrupt the male Toa. (There could be an Embers spinoff comedy called City of Metru Nui v. Vhel about Savnu leading a lawsuit against him for Title IX compliance.)

I just read Book 2, Chapter 11, which is why the gender aspect is in the forefront of my mind. It's great and it makes me realize that BIONICLE (especially when Greg was writing) rarely showed female characters interacting with other female characters. If not for MNOG II, I don't think BIONICLE would pass the Bechdel test.

I also wanted to highlight Sidra and Neryx. It's also a super interesting plot development (and a little funny to me) that Vhel's Mesmer followers were built up like a super evil legion of doom but the way they interact reminds me of two friends goofing off at college having to get through their part-time jobs.

[Nato G]

9 hours ago, Master Inika said:

This does make Vhel's Toa all being male interesting to me. Did you have any thought process behind that? On one hand it makes sense to me, especially as a statement on the way Greg wrote women (he seemed to enjoy writing evil women, specifically Gorast and Roodaka, so this story is fine without them). But it also creates the slightly comical mental impression to me that Vhel is not an equal-opportunity employer and only wants to corrupt the male Toa.

There are a few reasons for that. Vhel's initial batch of recruits were all the Toa who got sent back early from Xia due to injury; I figured macho menfolk who charged headlong into battle were the more likely to make up that group. But I also knew going in that I was planning to give more focus to Bihriis and [future spoiler] being turned, so I didn't want to distract from those plots by having other female villain Toa already established. 

9 hours ago, Master Inika said:

I also wanted to highlight Sidra and Neryx. It's also a super interesting plot development (and a little funny to me) that Vhel's Mesmer followers were built up like a super evil legion of doom but the way they interact reminds me of two friends goofing off at college having to get through their part-time jobs.

Those two are some of my favourites to write.

Canon stories had a tendency to work in absolutes and paint entire species with the same negative brush - all Skakdi are brutal murderers, all Frostelus are savage invaders, all Zyglak are homicidally hateful, all Vortixx are treacherous and deceitful, all Makuta are selfish and arrogant, etc. - which just felt really convenient and lazy from a worldbuilding perspective.

So when I decided I wanted to show things from the other side in Book 2, I felt it was important to subvert expectations and provide some nuance. The "evil legion of doom" is very much still present in the form of characters like Greillash, but there are also plenty of Mesmers who just have to live with this new dynamic because they weren't given a choice. And I think that's a more interesting perspective to explore than the dedicated Stormtrooper types. 

[Master Inika]

Just read Book 2, Chapter 13. Personally I've always thought Bionicle needed more giant lesbian war-ladies. Lhuhamaka feels like someone who would bully Roodaka

Desecrators' "collection" feels way too much like me and my Bionicles, especially his obvious frustration that he can never finish his Piraka "set"

[Nato G]

20 minutes ago, Master Inika said:

Personally I've always thought Bionicle needed more giant lesbian war-ladies. Lhuhamaka feels like someone who would bully Roodaka

That was kind of the idea, to be honest. Roodaka's effectiveness as a long-term villain in canon was undercut by the fact that she backstabbed absolutely everyone, and burned all of her bridges. I figured that a group of Vortixx capable of succeeding where Roodaka failed, uniting Xia under their rule, would need to be more ruthless, but also more discerning, striking that Machiavellian balance of being both feared and loved. 

22 minutes ago, Master Inika said:

Desecrators' "collection" feels way too much like me and my Bionicles, especially his obvious frustration that he can never finish his Piraka "set"

That wasn't quite the vibe I was going for, but now I can't unsee it. 

[Master Inika]

I've been thinking more about the Iden issue and I still feel like possessing one should be a bigger deal. One of the big gut-punch moments in Book 1 was realizing the way Orane was exposed to the truth and turned, not only because we barely knew him as a character yet, but also because their only Iden, a huge asset, was now in the enemy's hands. If it's possible for every faction to somehow obtain at least one, it must surely be worth it to make sure you have two. If I could suggest something I'd do differently, I would bring greater attention to the rarity of the mask early on, mentioning that Orane wore one of the last known Idens in the universe, emphasizing its value but leaving the door open that there are more. Or even alluding to the Last League getting their by taking it from a Toa they killed, because that could tie into a theme of the Code preventing the Toa from being able to as easily obtain such assets.

[Nato G]

13 minutes ago, Master Inika said:

I've been thinking more about the Iden issue and I still feel like possessing one should be a bigger deal. 

That's fair. I wanted to avoid having too many Kanohi repeats throughout the story, so in hindsight I can see how the Iden can seem unexpectedly abundant due to almost every major faction having one. That said, I still don't feel like there being a grand total of (I think?) four Idens left in the entire universe is a stretch. 

[Master Inika]

I'm officially halfway through Book 2 (20/40 chapters read) and it's still excellent. There's so much good to point out but the Toa's discussion about marriage might be the most thought-provoking scene, and that's aside from how much I just love the polygamous lesbians of Xia.

I still can't decide if the "Bad Manors" pun is a fitting piece of dark comedy, too silly, or both.

[Nato G]

1 hour ago, Master Inika said:

the Toa's discussion about marriage might be the most thought-provoking scene

It's up there as one of my favourites to write. It was a lot of fun exploring that perspective. 

1 hour ago, Master Inika said:

I still can't decide if the "Bad Manors" pun is a fitting piece of dark comedy, too silly, or both.

I'm a sucker for pun titles. It's a bad habit of mine. 

[Master Inika]

Neryx and Sidra's dynamic is so incredibly sweet. Never knew the evil legion of doom would have wholesome college roommates with crushes on each other.

Lariska is very well-written. By this point I had started to wonder if any canon characters would show up at all and she is written excellently just like all the OCs.

[Nato G]

6 minutes ago, Master Inika said:

Neryx and Sidra's dynamic is so incredibly sweet.

This is exactly the kind of reaction I was hoping for. Glad to see it had the intended effect. 

6 minutes ago, Master Inika said:

Lariska is very well-written. By this point I had started to wonder if any canon characters would show up at all and she is written excellently just like all the OCs.

I was very hesitant about featuring canon characters. The prospect of trying to match Greg's writing style and characterisation was pretty daunting, and a lot of canon characters have motives or arcs that didn't fit well with my plans for this story.

But I felt that if I was going to involve the Dark Hunters in Embers, I had to feature at least one familiar face. And of the known leaders, Lariska seemed the most interesting one to involve and explore further, as well as the best fit for this story. Plus she has that cooky, carefree, eccentric energy that's just really fun to play with. 

[Master Inika]

Just read Chapter 25 of Book 2.

The way you incorporate so many aspects of Bionicle from all across G1, plus your own stuff, is delightful. There are so many allusions throughout G1 to enemies like the elite Vahki whose powers sound game-changing but who we never actually see. Your battle scenes really are a polished version of how imagined these kinds of obscure characters fighting when I was a kid.

The silence of the Onu-Metru battle was especially cinematic, I could feel the disorientation. The Mask of Tension is a great mask too, and even the way it wasn't useful to Vhalem in this particular battle gave it such nuance and there was so much depth to the mask added in the info we got about how he used it on Xia.

[Nato G]

17 minutes ago, Master Inika said:

There are so many allusions throughout G1 to enemies like the elite Vahki whose powers sound game-changing but who we never actually see. 

That was a big motivation for including a lot of these obscure characters and concepts. There were so many random things crammed into the corners of the story to accommodate for combiner models and stuff like that. I wanted to give some of those unsung weirdos a chance to shine. 

17 minutes ago, Master Inika said:

The Mask of Tension is a great mask too, and even the way it wasn't useful to Vhalem in this particular battle gave it such nuance and there was so much depth to the mask added in the info we got about how he used it on Xia.

There's a bit of a story behind that. With most characters, I picked their Kanohi powers with a clear plan ahead of time for how I would use it in-story (eg. Orane using his Iden to fight using proxy bodies). But that wasn't really the case with Vhalem. I had a cool custom mask I'd bought on Shapeways years earlier, it looked good on Vhalem's MOC, so I just went with it. I was well into writing the story before I finally went back to check what it actually does. 

I think not having a clear plan for the mask ahead of time helped make moments like this fight feel more real, and fits with Vhalem's storyline of still finding his place and figuring himself out. 

Fun fact, the Kanohi Arkahna was originally created by Onuku (who goes by Click here on BZP). 

[Master Inika]

14 minutes ago, Nato G said:

Fun fact, the Kanohi Arkahna was originally created by Onuku (who goes by Click here on BZP). 

I did notice the Arkahna and Alaka are the only original masks to receive their own names. Is there any particular reason you did not name more custom masks?

[Nato G]

7 minutes ago, Master Inika said:

Is there any particular reason you did not name more custom masks?

I have names for most of them in my notes. I guess I just didn't find opportunities to namedrop them all in-story. 

[Master Inika]

2 hours ago, Nato G said:

I have names for most of them in my notes. I guess I just didn't find opportunities to namedrop them all in-story. 

It is a minor nitpick, but the lack of proper names mentioned for the non-canon Kanohi, when the canon Kanohi usually are mentioned by proper name, makes it sound like the canon/non-canon distinction is something the omniscient narrator is aware of and undermines the immersion.

[Nato G]

16 minutes ago, Master Inika said:

the canon/non-canon distinction is something the omniscient narrator is aware of

Thinking back... honestly you're not wrong.

Given the nature of the story, I basically wrote it under the assumption that readers would have prior knowledge of Bionicle concepts and canon (and/or the ability to double-check things on BS01). But with so many characters to keep track of already, I didn't want to sprinkle in a bunch of new random Kanohi terms as well.

I figured that referring to most of the custom Kanohi as "Mask of [thing that it does]" would be easier on readers than having to memorise new names, or go back through past chapters to try to track down the first mention. 

Edited February 18 by Nato G

[Master Inika]

1 hour ago, Nato G said:

Thinking back... honestly you're not wrong.

Given the nature of the story, I basically wrote it under the assumption that readers would have prior knowledge of Bionicle concepts and canon (and/or the ability to double-check things on BS01). But with so many characters to keep track of already, I didn't want to sprinkle in a bunch of new random Kanohi terms as well.

I figured that referring to most of the custom Kanohi as "Mask of [thing that it does]" would be easier on readers than having to memorise new names, or go back through past chapters to try to track down the first mention. 

That's something I've found myself having to do more than once early on. Just to limit myself to Book 1, even though I read and enjoyed every chapter, I couldn't off the top of my head remember who all the Toa transformed by Savnu were or who was a Toa Vehi or Toa Gelida. This extended to personality traits as well sometimes. I frequently got Ilton/Icthilos mixed up and barely kept track of who had what elemental power. This isn't a criticism though, it's just part of the price of reading something long and short-form media has fried my brain. I tried reading Dostoyevsky once and Embers is a little like that.

That being said I do think you do a great job of making the story flow and contextually remind the reader of who these people and what their attributes are. Even now (mid-Book 2) I'll get to another character heading and realize I don't remember exactly where they were last or what their personality is but within a few lines my memory is jogged. I suppose this would be more of a problem with the plot-relevant Kanohi.

I think you are good enough at contextual reminders to work your fanon Kanohi names in like the official masks, or alternatively referring to the canon masks by their proper names less often would also alleviate the problem (though I guess it would be cumbersome to have "Mask/Masks of Spirit" every time instead of "Iden/Idens" given that particular one is mentioned so often).

[Nato G]

8 minutes ago, Master Inika said:

I couldn't off the top of my head remember who all the Toa transformed by Savnu were or who was a Toa Vehi or Toa Gelida. This extended to personality traits as well sometimes. I frequently got Ilton/Icthilos mixed up and barely kept track of who had what elemental power.

This was me while writing the story as well. I maintained a separate notes document that listed the name, mask, weapon/s, affiliations, personality traits, preferred phrases, etc. for each named character to help keep everything straight.

I did try to make it easier for readers by avoiding having too many characters with names that started with the same letter, or were similar in length/style, to avoid the samey name problem that official Bionicle media had (eg. Krekka, Krika, Krahka, Kraata, etc.)

9 minutes ago, Master Inika said:

I think you are good enough at contextual reminders to work your fanon Kanohi names in like the official masks, or alternatively referring to the canon masks by their proper names less often would also alleviate the problem.

Good idea. I'll keep this in mind the next time I do an edit pass through the future books. 

[Master Inika]

Finished Chaper 30 of Book 2. I really do feel like everyone else is sleeping on this story and in a few years everyone will go back and absorb this story.

[Nato G]

2 hours ago, Master Inika said:

I really do feel like everyone else is sleeping on this story and in a few years everyone will go back and absorb this story.

Fingers crossed. For now, I'm glad that someone other than me is enjoying it. 

[Master Inika]

I forget what chapter this was in, but the detail that the Rahkshi consider being on a rooftop or balcony "inside" was just such an interesting detail. I didn't know where else to mention it but I liked it

[Nato G]

1 minute ago, Master Inika said:

the detail that the Rahkshi consider being on a rooftop or balcony "inside" was just such an interesting detail.

I try very hard to find my own plotholes and pour concrete into them ahead of time. I knew I wanted some window/rooftop/balcony scenes at night, but Rahkshi being able to fly/shoot at range would have been a potential plothole if I didn't throw out some kind of explanation for why they didn't attack. 

I had a much more detailed explanation in mind while writing for what the parameters of the Rahkshi's orders were, but in-story, the characters have no idea what the limits are beyond "stay inside", so any speculation beyond that is just their best guess. 

[kawaii kitty]

5 hours ago, Nato G said:

I try very hard to find my own plotholes and pour concrete into them ahead of time

greg cowers in fear.

[Master Inika]

16 hours ago, Nato G said:

I try very hard to find my own plotholes and pour concrete into them ahead of time. I knew I wanted some window/rooftop/balcony scenes at night, but Rahkshi being able to fly/shoot at range would have been a potential plothole if I didn't throw out some kind of explanation for why they didn't attack. 

I had a much more detailed explanation in mind while writing for what the parameters of the Rahkshi's orders were, but in-story, the characters have no idea what the limits are beyond "stay inside", so any speculation beyond that is just their best guess. 

I wondered if I could survive the Rahkshi at night by walking on two roof tiles taped to my feet. Then I realized I'd probably die very quickly in the Embers universe.

[Nato G]

6 hours ago, Master Inika said:

Then I realized I'd probably die very quickly in the Embers universe.

As would I. Honestly, the Bionicle universe in general seems like a terrible place to live even at the best of times. 

[Master Inika]

I've got five more chapters of Book 2. The Rahkshi are so cool. Maybe it's just me, but I've always thought Rahkshi were kind of cute in a way, like angry humanoid cats. I once had an idea I was going to title "My Pet Rahkshi," about a Makuta who creates a Rahkshi and then unexpectedly dies while in a shapeshifted disguise as a Matoran. The Rahkshi finds an identical real Matoran and believes the Matoran is his master, and follows him around trying to help him. Perception and the others feel a little like a more dignified version of that, at least as a deep look into Rahkshi. I've always found the "wild Rahkshi" of 2004 an interesting and underexplored concept (a recurring theme in Bionicle). I'm trying to picture myself explaining to my parents that Bionicle has a race of humanoid snake people created to serve the devil, but whenever if their devil dies, they're just like stray cats.

[Nato G]

9 hours ago, Master Inika said:

I once had an idea I was going to title "My Pet Rahkshi," about a Makuta who creates a Rahkshi and then unexpectedly dies while in a shapeshifted disguise as a Matoran. The Rahkshi finds an identical real Matoran and believes the Matoran is his master, and follows him around trying to help him. 

That sounds adorable. You should take a swing at writing it!

9 hours ago, Master Inika said:

I've always found the "wild Rahkshi" of 2004 an interesting and underexplored concept (a recurring theme in Bionicle). 

Same. That the Makuta can basically reproduce through some weird process of budding/parthenogenesis, and that their spawn can evolve to become intelligent beings in their own right is such a fascinating concept. That those spawn pilot mechs with magic powers made out of their own dead siblings just makes it all the crazier. 

But... some Makuta just abandon their Rahkshi children to run wild after putting so much work into them? It's all so weird. 

[Master Inika]

A few days ago I read Chapter 37, and I gotta say, that was a great cliffhanger twist. I'm only able to read it at work and I've been eagerly awaiting for days to get back and continue with the rest of Book 2.

With Marik's Destiny, just wow. Masterful. Even with the broad strokes of it pretty easy to see with all the hints (I knew it wasn't going to be anything pleasant for Marik), the way it all came together was quite powerful and resonant. I know the MNOG designers thought of Mata Nui as representing creativity and Makuta representing destruction, as the two forces necessary for kids to play with LEGO, so when reading this gets me too depressed, I just like to think Marik is someone's MOC and he's being repurposed for parts.

For a long time, I wasn't sure how to react to Bionicle characters being referred to as "man" or "woman." I was just so used to reading and writing Bionicle as Greg wrote it, and even when I first tried writing something other than Bionicle fanfiction, I always found myself referring to my human characters as "beings"/"entities." You're not bound by Greg's conventions, though. As a kid, the way he wrote Bionicle always gave it a liminal, mythic feel that contributed to the escapist way I used his literature. The way you write it feels like more of an attempt to write Bionicle as a somewhat more conventional piece of modern literature. I oftentimes wish I could recommend Embers to people like my family who aren't into Bionicle, but I doubt they would understand the way Embers comments upon Bionicle enough to get it, sadly. The sheer quality of Embers being a piece of fanfiction for a 2000s LEGO toy line is part of its charm and uniqueness.

 I can't believe Kill Your Gays is a thing even in the time before time.

"Ow. What'd you do that for?" I perceive in this that thing Greg used to do where scene transitions would ironically complement each other. It was one of my favorite Gregisms, he did it just infrequently enough that I never knew when to expect it but always appreciated it. I could never quite tell if it was meant to be humorous or not. Especially in cases like this, after such a macabre scene, it definitely feels like a callback to Greg's penchant for darker humor.

I also appreciate the way all of Bionicle is worked in somehow, without it feeling forced. Usually (even in my own fanfics), it's a clear sendup to a specific year or era of G1, but with the Nuva Symbols, Rahkshi, Metru Nui, Dark Hunters, the League of Six Kingdoms, and even the obscure refences to the Shattering, there are refences to be appreciated from the beginning of Bionicle G1 to its end, and everything in between.

[Nato G]

7 minutes ago, Master Inika said:

With Marik's Destiny, just wow. Masterful. Even with the broad strokes of it pretty easy to see with all the hints (I knew it wasn't going to be anything pleasant for Marik), the way it all came together was quite powerful and resonant.

I'm glad you feel that way. Truthfully I was worried I'd made his arc too tragic and twisted. 

I do want to note here that I consider this his fate, rather than his destiny. This is getting deep into the weeds of my personal headcanon, but I kind of treat fate as a secret fourth virtue (and in the later books, I even have a group of characters who revere a separate trio of virtues that includes Fate in place of Destiny). Although a lot of people use the terms interchangeably, I feel like there's a distinct difference in the context they're usually used in. Destiny is something to strive for, to fulfil, an accomplishment that marks the height of the journey, but there's (usually) a "happily ever after" on the other side. In the world of Bionicle specifically, Destiny is treated as a wholly positive thing. Not always good for the person doing it (eg. Matoro's sacrifice), but what happens as a result of Destiny being fulfilled fixes things or moves them forward.

But Fate has darker connotations. You "meet your fate", you "can't escape your fate", etc. It's the thing that waits at the end of the road. And unlike Destiny, it doesn't necessarily bring about any kind of outcome or change. Sometimes it's just an end. Marik's Destiny was to save a life and become a Turaga. But once he'd set himself on this darker path, his Fate was to die fighting for what he'd convinced himself was right. 

7 minutes ago, Master Inika said:

I just like to think Marik is someone's MOC and he's being repurposed for parts.

You're not wrong, honestly. Marik is currently in a state of partial disassembly due to me borrowing bits for something else. 

7 minutes ago, Master Inika said:

The way you write it feels like more of an attempt to write Bionicle as a somewhat more conventional piece of modern literature.

I think this may just be my writing style more than anything intentional. My background in writing Bionicle is heavily rooted in this site's RPG forum, where - to avoid arguments around different people's headcanons regarding Bonkle biology - the unwritten rule was to basically treat characters as human in armour in terms of their physical ability, biology, injuries, etc. 

While I haven't gone quite that far in writing this story, I probably am still thinking of my characters more like people than things. (I also feel like referring to all of the women as "females" doesn't land as well in this age of the internet as it did when Greg originally wrote the canon stories.)

7 minutes ago, Master Inika said:

"Ow. What'd you do that for?" I perceive in this that thing Greg used to do where scene transitions would ironically complement each other. It was one of my favorite Gregisms, he did it just infrequently enough that I never knew when to expect it but always appreciated it. I could never quite tell if it was meant to be humorous or not. Especially in cases like this, after such a macabre scene, it definitely feels like a callback to Greg's penchant for darker humor.

I did want to inject moments of levity where I could. As much as I'm leaning into a darker tone, I definitely want to avoid going full grimdark. 

32 minutes ago, Master Inika said:

I also appreciate the way all of Bionicle is worked in somehow, without it feeling forced. Usually (even in my own fanfics), it's a clear sendup to a specific year or era of G1, but with the Nuva Symbols, Rahkshi, Metru Nui, Dark Hunters, the League of Six Kingdoms, and even the obscure refences to the Shattering, there are refences to be appreciated from the beginning of Bionicle G1 to its end, and everything in between.

I know it's common to prefer some eras of Bionicle over others. Even I have things I tend to gloss over when I reread the story. But Embers is basically set right at the point in the canon timeline where all of those different eras were crashing together, so it didn't feel right leaving anything out.

And of course, a lot of these inclusions were driven by my desire to play with all of the concepts canon didn't do much with.