Endless Blue -- Review Topic

[fishers64]

Maku repeated the order.

Isn't it Macku? :shrugs:Azh'yuuros is a Glatorian?IDK.

This takes place before naming day

:???:You mean, before they changed the characters' names to comply with the Maori lawsuit?

yeah, and in the story, they called it naming day, to have to do with the defeat of the bohrok kal and the rebuilt form of the matoran, and the revelation of "matoran" instead of tohunga.(Bs01 page is down, though)

Shame. But that happened in 2001 - the Matoran revelation thing, right? This story takes place in 2002 - I actually remember at one point in the story the author referred to the Matoran revelation in past tense, which would indicate that the "Naming Day" would have already happened. (Geez, there are some great concepts to theorize about here, and the biggest argument is about typos! LOL)

[BULiK]

Maku repeated the order.

Isn't it Macku? :shrugs:Azh'yuuros is a Glatorian?IDK.

This takes place before naming day

:???:You mean, before they changed the characters' names to comply with the Maori lawsuit?

yeah, and in the story, they called it naming day, to have to do with the defeat of the bohrok kal and the rebuilt form of the matoran, and the revelation of "matoran" instead of tohunga.(Bs01 page is down, though)

Shame. But that happened in 2001 - the Matoran revelation thing, right? This story takes place in 2002 - I actually remember at one point in the story the author referred to the Matoran revelation in past tense, which would indicate that the "Naming Day" would have already happened.(Geez, there are some great concepts to theorize about here, and the biggest argument is about typos! LOL)

no, it happened in 2003 after the defeat of the kal.but maybe in the paracosmos it is different.I'm pretty sure at one point in the paracosmos in TI that the turaga revealed them to be matoran, but they didn't do the rebuilding and renaming thing, if I remember.

[fishers64]

Maku repeated the order.

Isn't it Macku? :shrugs:Azh'yuuros is a Glatorian?IDK.

This takes place before naming day

:???:You mean, before they changed the characters' names to comply with the Maori lawsuit?

yeah, and in the story, they called it naming day, to have to do with the defeat of the bohrok kal and the rebuilt form of the matoran, and the revelation of "matoran" instead of tohunga.(Bs01 page is down, though)

Shame. But that happened in 2001 - the Matoran revelation thing, right? This story takes place in 2002 - I actually remember at one point in the story the author referred to the Matoran revelation in past tense, which would indicate that the "Naming Day" would have already happened.(Geez, there are some great concepts to theorize about here, and the biggest argument is about typos! LOL)

no, it happened in 2003 after the defeat of the kal.but maybe in the paracosmos it is different.I'm pretty sure at one point in the paracosmos in TI that the turaga revealed them to be matoran, but they didn't do the rebuilding and renaming thing, if I remember.

*consults character list**bangs fist on table* I was wrong.

[bonesiii]

Chapter 33 is up.

just finished #32.Pure. Awesome.

That's always good to hear! =)

something during the escape must have transformed heria, and gave her complete shame and sadness or something like that to "banish" herself to the jungle.

An insightful theory, although I hadn't thought of it myself. I was running under the theory that she'd become too much like an animal to try to fit into society. But that could work too; I can comment more on why soon.

This actually formed the idea in my mind that BE was Bhukasa's lost memories trying to come back to him. I'm not sure if this is logical, however - some of the characteristics of him seem to rule out that possibility. The idea that Bhukasa's lost memories, symbolically speaking, are connecting this story together seems to work (Kuambu Island/Memory Island). You mentioned that the characters are working together, and BE tends to connect the plot threads at first....Chapter 32:This chapter made me rethink the above theory again. Random movement by BE and teleportation by Bhukasa (or whatever method he uses)...kinda works with it. My mind wants to connect those two together. But Bhukasa keeps getting his memories back without running into BE, but big revelations occur when he's closer...

At this point I can officially deny that BE is just Bhukasa's lost memories, but I'm glad you formed the theory because I intentionally planted false clues for it in the hopes that someone would. Beyond that I can't comment yet.

Isn't it Macku?

To this and the big convo in the next few posts, here's the dealio:Firstly, in the canon story, originally, Naming Day was used to explain renaming characters away from some Maori words to avoid a lawsuit. In the case of Tohunga to Matoran, though, a slightly different explanation was used, though it took place at the same basic time, I think -- that Tohunga was the name of separation, but Matoran, their ancient name, symbolized Unity, since the Virtues came from Mata Nui.Later all of this was retconned so that Macku was always Macku, etc. because it was realized they couldn't have these characters in the 2004-2005 flashbacks legally if their names were still the old way. So now canonically the word Tohunga was never used, for example.Those legal problems don't apply to fanfics, and I always loved the term Tohunga, so very early on I decided to stick roughly with the original explanations. To be consistent I have kept Maku/Jala, etc. as well.In Twisted Island, Kewonga revealed the thing about Matoran early, moved by some Matoran deaths. He still remembers much about Metru Nui (honestly at the moment I forget whether I planned for him never to lose his memories or to have been told much by the Turaga, but either way he knows that part -- *makes mental note to check on that* ).Naming Day has to happen, probably at the end of the story after Endless Blue, or perhaps within the one that comes two after that, because in Mindfire, which takes place in 2006 story, I spelled it Macku. I haven't decided exactly how it'll happen yet. (For one thing, I'm not eager to have any of my fan-fictional characters get name changes, so it's a bit odd that only Maku, Jala, etc. would, but I'm sure I'll figure out a way. )

Azh'yuuros is a Glatorian?

Easy to miss with so many names in such a long story as this, but this was mentioned in Chapter 9. He called himself one. Obviously something mysterious happened to him to turn him into a giant, though. (And he is one of the Blue MOCs Bones Blog contest winners, so this was decided from that.)

I liked that idea...big plan to get on Bhukasa's ship ends up playing into the Unknowns' hands.

Cool.

Although it brings me to another theory - that the Light/Dark minds thing is not necessarily congruent with the Rahudermis - stating the obvious, er - which would mean that Niaka might have some redeeming qualities, like she has some good left in her and eventually switch sides? Either that or the Light/Darkmind thing has nothing to do with morality, but I tend to doubt it.

Ask me again about this when the story's over; there's a simple answer but I probably shouldn't give it now. Well, there's two answers, one of which will be made clear near the end, the other is just implied.

This story takes place in 2002 - I actually remember at one point in the story the author referred to the Matoran revelation in past tense, which would indicate that the "Naming Day" would have already happened.

Yeah, I intentionally turned what in the original canon was one event with two parts, into two events with the Tohunga --> Matoran event happening early in the Paracosmos. For one thing I feel the two events have more impact when they're not squished together, and in TI the "Tohunga's" encountering of Taureko, who is of Metruan build and calls himself Matoran, kinda let the cat out of the bag anyways, so Kewonga "made an executive decision" on it, plus he meant it poetically as the proper response -- embracing Unity again -- to the Matoran deaths in that story.Of course now in writing The Perfect Cage (story after EB) I've run into a bit of a pickle in that the Rahunga are still named after Tohunga, and have had to debate whether I should explain this in the narration again. For now I've just said it's what they call themselves. Anywhen...EDIT: And here's Chapter 34.. Edited May 7, 2012 by bonesiii

[CyclonatorZ]

I don't have much to say about the last few chapters, except that they've spured me to reread all the sections regarding the Kuambu prison, and now I am ready to share my "guessory" regarding the lightminds and darkminds. Since I am fairly convinced that the two terms do not directly describe a being's morality (a conclusion that I've ruled out as far too predictable and simple), I have a feeling that they actually refer to one's knowledge of good and evil. Essentially, a Lightmind is one that, regardless of its morality, has not come to understand the true nature of it - whereas a darkmind is one that has been tainted with the reality of evil's absolute awfulness.Why this theory? Mainly because it allows for the possibility of lightminds whose actions are evil (but do realize how truly awful they are), as well as darkminds whose actions are good (whether because of an encounter with evil or a former life as a villian). I can't prove any of it, but I wouldn't be suprised at all if the ultimate explanation turns out to be something along these lines.

[bonesiii]

Chapter 35 is up. Once yall have read it: I'll be interested on people's takes regarding "show or tell" in the last part of it. Most of it is a "show" of one key moment in Bhukasa's recent past, but near the end it is focused on his thoughts as he briefly remembers less interesting parts. I felt it would make the story drag to show most of those directly, although I have already written some "show" revisits of some of those scenes' unanswered questions in The Perfect Cage. Hopefully yall think it works here.

I don't have much to say about the last few chapters, except that they've spured me to reread all the sections regarding the Kuambu prison, and now I am ready to share my "guessory" regarding the lightminds and darkminds. Since I am fairly convinced that the two terms do not directly describe a being's morality (a conclusion that I've ruled out as far too predictable and simple), I have a feeling that they actually refer to one's knowledge of good and evil. Essentially, a Lightmind is one that, regardless of its morality, has not come to understand the true nature of it - whereas a darkmind is one that has been tainted with the reality of evil's absolute awfulness.Why this theory? Mainly because it allows for the possibility of lightminds whose actions are evil (but do realize how truly awful they are), as well as darkminds whose actions are good (whether because of an encounter with evil or a former life as a villian). I can't prove any of it, but I wouldn't be suprised at all if the ultimate explanation turns out to be something along these lines.

It's definately a clever theory. BTW, I should clarify what I said earlier, that the whole picture of this I cannot answer until the Kuambu finale epic actually (taking place in 2006-7 story), which I've just now jotted down detailed notes for. Part of it I will be able to answer at the end of EB though. :)One possible evidence against your theory, though, is that I think Kewonga the Healer has clear reasons, from previous story and just his job, to be all too familiar with how awful evil is, yet he is on the Lightminds side.

[fishers64]

Once yall have read it: I'll be interested on people's takes regarding "show or tell" in the last part of it. Most of it is a "show" of one key moment in Bhukasa's recent past, but near the end it is focused on his thoughts as he briefly remembers less interesting parts. I felt it would make the story drag to show most of those directly, although I have already written some "show" revisits of some of those scenes' unanswered questions in The Perfect Cage. Hopefully yall think it works here.

It does indeed.The whole thing just feels like a resolution of things from earlier, but it's only natural that Bhukasa would be rediscovering his lost memories given what has happened, and they are relevant to the storyline, so yeah, it works (and it kind of mirrors memory recall process anyway). Either that, or whatever memory blocking power he was given is wearing off? Does that tablet from Memory Island have something to do with this? I think it's just Bhukasa's memory coming back naturally, the same way an object or something would remind us of memories, but I would like to be sure. One thing that confused me about recent chapters was how Lewa, mentally speaking, was freed from his Krana. It could have been more clear - I think Onua's words had an impact, and the fight between the Overseers and the Bohrok themselves couldn't have helped, but it is still confusing.

The Overseer pounded keys on his computer.

This struck me as hilarious - conjured up the image of this guy desperately trying to get the computer to do something. Computers remind me of this other tech in here, and I doubt that he's a reptillian snow lizard. In fact, I want to peg him as Kuambu. They seem to have the same technology that Bhukasa's species has (Yellow energy, black metal...), and Bhukasa was the only other guy with a computer-like interface in here. This also seems to be the same tech of the cannons on the Kriitunga island. So I think some of Bhukasa's species (with Matoran help, since they do fire) built the cannons as a defense for the island against the Kuambu. (Why would the Kuambu build cannons that could blast their own ships? Even if the cannons wouldn't harm them, what would be the point, seeing as they stick to their ships around that area and don't exactly have a base aside from the prison island)Further, Bhukasa was on Kriitunga island seven hundred years ago - and was imprisoned for seven hundred years before he escaped. I think you mentioned the Kuambu had conducted raids on Kriitunga island, so I'm going to say that they raided that island seven hundred years ago and captured Bhukasa. They also would have used memory-blurring powers on the inhabitants, replacing intelligence about the cannon's real use with strange rituals. That's all for now. Edited May 20, 2012 by fishers64

[bonesiii]

Chapter 36.

It does indeed.

The whole thing just feels like a resolution of things from earlier, but it's only natural that Bhukasa would be rediscovering his lost memories given what has happened, and they are relevant to the storyline, so yeah, it works (and it kind of mirrors memory recall process anyway). Either that, or whatever memory blocking power he was given is wearing off?Does that tablet from Memory Island have something to do with this? I think it's just Bhukasa's memory coming back naturally, the same way an object or something would remind us of memories, but I would like to be sure.

It has something to do with it, but exactly what I can't comment until the last few chapters. But yes, in this case it's mostly natural. The tablet's information has helped him a little, but because he's missing the final line, he doesn't yet know the main point of the tablet, so it hasn't helped much. I want to say more but it would give things away so yeah...

One thing that confused me about recent chapters was how Lewa, mentally speaking, was freed from his Krana. It could have been more clear - I think Onua's words had an impact, and the fight between the Overseers and the Bohrok themselves couldn't have helped, but it is still confusing.

Well, it was supposed to be confusing, so readers would be kept in suspense as to whether he would free himself or not, but essentially yes. Consider it a "character mystery". And the bits where he thinks "not yet..." and the like (paraphrase ) are supposed to be the clues that yes, he had already decided to at least try to take it off, but realized he had to "wait for the opportune moment." But it's ambiguous also partly because there's room for interpretation here. Was he really free from its influence once he made that decision? Or did he really have to battle his way towards actually pulling it off, and never could have done it until that moment?Personally I like it better not being really sure, as it's deeper that way than what I could put into words. If it helps, I'd lean towards both being somewhat true, and that Lewa himself never will know for sure. I think we ourselves work like that a lot, that often we do things and we're never really sure exactly why we did it, that we are as much a mystery to ourselves as to others.

This struck me as hilarious - conjured up the image of this guy desperately trying to get the computer to do something. Computers remind me of this other tech in here, and I doubt that he's a reptillian snow lizard. In fact, I want to peg him as Kuambu. They seem to have the same technology that Bhukasa's species has (Yellow energy, black metal...), and Bhukasa was the only other guy with a computer-like interface in here.

I had read your original wording and had prepared a reply to that, though now I see you edited it out. I hope you don't mind me saying that I'm glad you made the observation that Kuambu and Bhukasa are both using apparently identical black metal tech. Yes, this means something important for this story and I was waiting for somebody to say it. Obviously I can't say much more about it yet though.Anyways, I'm a little unsure who you mean here, but I think you're asking whether the Overseer is a Kuambu? Answer is no, as was said somewhere in earlier story, he is a subspecies of Vortixx; Oru-Vortixx. The ones that never miss. They work for Arakra/Nhayaka, leader of the Third Faction, who the Kuambu are allied with, so he's working with the Kuambu, but is not one. :)This particular tech is from Xia. This is something you naturally wouldn't know without reading past stories, so here's the scoop.In Captain of Treason, Rathoa, when he was still loyal to Makuta, had a flashback scene where he went to Xia to buy some more rahudermis (I think). The Vortixx he bought it from was Nhayaka, which is the name Arakra goes by when she's in disguise as an Oru-Vortixx. When he was entering the lobby to that building, these same two Oru-Vortixx -- the ones now being the Overseers -- were acting as generic building guards. It is implied that they are basically Arakra's top servants. (Nhayaka went on to slowly reveal her identity and goals to Rathoa and recruit him to the Third Faction.)And in Twisted Island those same two came to Mata Nui and to Twisted Island leading a group of Oru-Vortixx, who long story short ended up with one Bahrag in their captivity. I know I made their identities clear in TI, not sure off the top of my head if I made it clear enough in this story...

This also seems to be the same tech of the cannons on the Kriitunga island.

The cannon tech is unrelated to the black metal. Whether it's related to the Xian tech I can't reveal. Its origins will be revealed in the Kuambu Saga finale.

So I think some of Bhukasa's species (with Matoran help, since they do fire) built the cannons as a defense for the island against the Kuambu. (Why would the Kuambu build cannons that could blast their own ships? Even if the cannons wouldn't harm them, what would be the point, seeing as they stick to their ships around that area and don't exactly have a base aside from the prison island)

You're somewhat on the right track, but no, Bhukasa's species did not build the cannons. Good theory though.

Further, Bhukasa was on Kriitunga island seven hundred years ago - and was imprisoned for seven hundred years before he escaped. I think you mentioned the Kuambu had conducted raids on Kriitunga island, so I'm going to say that they raided that island seven hundred years ago and captured Bhukasa.

Very close! It was because he went there that the Kuambu first heard about him, but it was stated elsewhere that the Kriitunga tried to "free his spirit" like they would a Toa, and he fled the island. The Lone Captain, as is implied in the recent flashback, then hunted Bhukasa down across the ocean.

They also would have used memory-blurring powers on the inhabitants, replacing intelligence about the cannon's real use with strange rituals.

A very good theory. I can't confirm or deny the meat of it, but I can say that the timing of it of happening after Bhukasa came, if that's what you meant wouldn't work, since they tried to free his spirit, so the rituals were already in place. But as far as you can know right now, it is possible, yes, that much longer ago they did this. Edited May 25, 2012 by bonesiii

[otter]

Great Scott man, I just noticed you have an epic here.And now I'm going to force myself to stay up all night reading it.bonesii, I'm not sure if I should be mad at you for putting this up when my OCD will force me to read it, or thank you for giving me a good story. Maybe both?Ah, well, I know from previous stories of yours that I have read, this is likely to be a good one as well. Looking forward to catching up with everybody.

[BULiK]

Wow, oh wow.chapter 26 was amazing! it'sice how it gave an update on everything but bhukasa and hujo's plots.but it was so sad watching Mad die go into a coma (or atleast sacrifice himself in such a way, "dieing" to protect niaka and her mission)

[fishers64]

One thing that confused me about recent chapters was how Lewa, mentally speaking, was freed from his Krana. It could have been more clear - I think Onua's words had an impact, and the fight between the Overseers and the Bohrok themselves couldn't have helped, but it is still confusing.

Well, it was supposed to be confusing, so readers would be kept in suspense as to whether he would free himself or not, but essentially yes. Consider it a "character mystery". And the bits where he thinks "not yet..." and the like (paraphrase ) are supposed to be the clues that yes, he had already decided to at least try to take it off, but realized he had to "wait for the opportune moment." But it's ambiguous also partly because there's room for interpretation here. Was he really free from its influence once he made that decision? Or did he really have to battle his way towards actually pulling it off, and never could have done it until that moment?Personally I like it better not being really sure, as it's deeper that way than what I could put into words. If it helps, I'd lean towards both being somewhat true, and that Lewa himself never will know for sure. I think we ourselves work like that a lot, that often we do things and we're never really sure exactly why we did it, that we are as much a mystery to ourselves as to others.

"Lewa doesn't understand it himself, so he can't tell it to me?" I can kind of get that idea, but I think that's an oversimplification... It's probably consistent with Lewa's character (or the strange divided mind that he has as infected by Krana) so I'm not going to argue with that.

I think we ourselves work like that a lot, that often we do things and we're never really sure exactly why we did it, that we are as much a mystery to ourselves as to others.

I'm not exactly sure that I agree with this statement. I think we want to know why we did it, but there are things that we think can't be true about ourselves and what we are doing, because they just can't be (based on emotion) that prevent us from figuring it out.But I'm not exactly sure why I disagree with this statement, so that logic would seem to be pretty badly undermined. But I believe that I will figure that out - if I think on it, I will. I believe that I am capable of figuring myself out, of figuring out the my motivations for doing things, and that I will, at the end of my life, be able to understand exactly why I did what I did on this planet. In every detail. In every respect.Ironically, I figured out why I disagree with that statement. Silence implies agreement...but anyway, I think Lewa could figure out his motivation for ripping the thing off if he really wanted to, but it's not in his character to try.

I had read your original wording and had prepared a reply to that, though now I see you edited it out. I hope you don't mind me saying that I'm glad you made the observation that Kuambu and Bhukasa are both using apparently identical black metal tech. Yes, this means something important for this story and I was waiting for somebody to say it. Obviously I can't say much more about it yet though.[...]

This also seems to be the same tech of the cannons on the Kriitunga island.

The cannon tech is unrelated to the black metal. Whether it's related to the Xian tech I can't reveal. Its origins will be revealed in the Kuambu Saga finale.

So I think some of Bhukasa's species (with Matoran help, since they do fire) built the cannons as a defense for the island against the Kuambu. (Why would the Kuambu build cannons that could blast their own ships? Even if the cannons wouldn't harm them, what would be the point, seeing as they stick to their ships around that area and don't exactly have a base aside from the prison island)

You're somewhat on the right track, but no, Bhukasa's species did not build the cannons. Good theory though.

The whole thing is a byproduct of a faulty premise that the Kuambu stole the technology from Bhukasa's species and they are now enemies as a result. That's the part I edited...should have edited it more...I also thought that the Kuambu, out of envy and not wanting to get their new tech compromised, wiped Bhukasa's species out. But that doesn't have enough logical basis - it could easily be the other way about, or, given this new information, both species took the tech from the Xians and the Kuambu were merely trying to identify Bhukasa and manipulate him out of ignorance about him and his kind. I guess I should have just blurted the premise and left it there, because now I have more information in this regard. Thank you.EDIT: And yes, I did ask if the Overseer was a Kuambu (sorry for not being clear on that) and thank you for answering.Chapter 36...After that, not sure I want to get into the theme stuff again. I will cautiously say that I like the message of the scene you have painted with BE and the fish, that what you think you want isn't always the best thing. It is news to me, however, that BE can teleport beings back to the security of the maze. Yellow light again...hmm...For some reason, I note that BE sacrificing his comfort for his friend's life seems to mirror Tygaako's sacrificing himself for Niaka's mission. I think Tygaako is trying to defeat his inner enemy by killing himself. And Niaka's reaction...I like what you are doing there. I know why I notice this now, and it is not because of what I'm going to say next (well, sort of, but not really).* * *Is BE the Paracosmos Mata Nui?I ask this question because his plot threads seem to be connected to everything, and his spirit was once in a body. Edited May 26, 2012 by fishers64

[bonesiii]

Chapter 37 is posted.

bonesii, I'm not sure if I should be mad at you for putting this up when my OCD will force me to read it, or thank you for giving me a good story. Maybe both?

Both works. Good to have you reading.

Wow, oh wow.chapter 36 was amazing! it'sice how it gave an update on everything but bhukasa and hujo's plots.

I should add a comment about that BTW to something I said earlier, when I said that I did feel like Part One kinda "avoided" Bhukasa, and I tried to avoid avoiding him later. Part Four does, though, kinda avoid him a bit. Both 36 and the new one, 37, don't have any POV from Bhukasa. The main reason is that after the almost-deadly attack at the end of Part Three, the consequences were simply so much that he did have to hide out to recover. I didn't want to allude to this when I made the first comment as I didn't want to directly confirm that he survived the attack, although I'm sure since this is his story nobody actually thought he was dead, lol.But, Part Five is heavily focused on Bhukasa. :)Anywho, thanks. I was surprised myself when I wrote 26 that it turned out that way; just one of those neat little tricks the Arena Method can produce. :)Also another reason Part Four spends less time on Bhukasa is because starting in 27, a lot of time is spent on Hujo.

but it was so sad watching Mad die go into a coma (or atleast sacrifice himself in such a way, "dieing" to protect niaka and her mission)

I'm glad it had an impact. And as you can see if you read 37, he has indeed now died.

"Lewa doesn't understand it himself, so he can't tell it to me?" I can kind of get that idea, but I think that's an oversimplification... It's probably consistent with Lewa's character (or the strange divided mind that he has as infected by Krana) so I'm not going to argue with that.

Well I guess what I was trying to say that Lewa might think, now that he's free "I could have taken it off at any time," but at the time, he was focused on waiting for the right time. He can't go back and see what would have happened if he had tried to do it early. So he will never know for sure. And personally I like it that way. :)But if it helps, I do think probably he really couldn't have taken it off until when he did, or else he would have done it like the Cosmos version of him did canonically. This Lewa has been focused on his tendency to fall to outside influence a lot more than the canon Lewa did; that Lewa's infection and Krana-ing and Tren Krom-ing just came on him unexpectedly, and it was we the fans only, it seemed, that noticed his tendency. I'm sure it occured to him, but if so it was probably just a coincidence.For this Lewa it's more of a personal struggle and that has probably hurt his own self-confidence.

I'm not exactly sure that I agree with this statement. I think we want to know why we did it, but there are things that we think can't be true about ourselves and what we are doing, because they just can't be (based on emotion) that prevent us from figuring it out.But I'm not exactly sure why I disagree with this statement, so that logic would seem to be pretty badly undermined. But I believe that I will figure that out - if I think on it, I will. I believe that I am capable of figuring myself out, of figuring out the my motivations for doing things, and that I will, at the end of my life, be able to understand exactly why I did what I did on this planet. In every detail. In every respect.

Well being a guy who decided early in life to always work towards understanding everything, that's a hope I can identify with. I get such revelations about myself all the time, realizing why I behaved a certain way in the past, even though at the time I had no idea. At any rate, Lewa right now is nowhere near such a revelation. If he could fully understand himself right now I wouldn't have much story potential left for the rest of the series for him. :PAnd there's always the forgetfulness that time brings to hamper that hope.

Ironically, I figured out why I disagree with that statement. Silence implies agreement...but anyway, I think Lewa could figure out his motivation for ripping the thing off if he really wanted to, but it's not in his character to try.

Not really sure what you mean about silence, but I do think it's in his character to wonder and thus try, but probably not to actually succeed anytime soon. Personally I see Onua and Gali as two of the characters who are most psychologically analytical, but not really Lewa. Hujo too of course.Anyways, now that you've made me think this question through in such detail it's definately helped me think of a direction future Lewa story can go, so I thank you.

The whole thing is a byproduct of a faulty premise that the Kuambu stole the technology from Bhukasa's species and they are now enemies as a result.

I see. Well, keep the basic idea, though not the specific technology, and you're on the right track in a way. Will be answered in Chapter 49.

I also thought that the Kuambu, out of envy and not wanting to get their new tech compromised, wiped Bhukasa's species out. But that doesn't have enough logical basis - it could easily be the other way about, or, given this new information, both species took the tech from the Xians

Well I applaud the thinking. Not sure if we're still talking about the cannons or what, but just to be clear, and for fun, here's three branches of tech in question with some comments:1) The Xian tech controlling the Bahrag here is not really meant to be mysterious, nor connected to anything else. Although it probably was made by Nhayaka/Arakra herself, so isn't something Xia at large knows how to make. But is made of normal Xian tech.2) The cannon technology only exists on Kriitunga Island, and only ever has. The Kuambu do not know how to make it, and yet, it is closely tied to the secrets of who they are (hence its reveal being in the Kuambu finale). Sort of a paradox I know. :P3) The black metal tech also has its own origins not directly related to the other two. Both black metal things encountered so far -- in the Seahopper and the doors of the pillar island Kuambu prisons -- are connected to Bhukasa's species, yes.And just to clear one little thing up that this story only implies but isn't really a secret, the Kuambu can control the black metal specifically because they had Bhukasa imprisoned so long, making copies of his Soulsong. So it's with Kuamor from him that they control it, and if they were to run out they would lose the ability.

It is news to me, however, that BE can teleport beings back to the security of the maze.

That's not what I meant to imply. It's depicted in 38, but basically they're in communication with Surkahi still, who originally put the fish in, and took the fish out, so he is confident he'll be able to ask Surkahi to let the fish go back.

For some reason, I note that BE sacrificing his comfort for his friend's life seems to mirror Tygaako's sacrificing himself for Niaka's mission.

It wasn't consciously intentional, but I see the parallel now that you mention it. Yay more understanding of self in hindsight!

I think Tygaako is trying to defeat his inner enemy by killing himself.

I agree that's gotta be part of it. There will be more about Tyaagko's psychology in this matter in the next story.

Is BE the Paracosmos Mata Nui?I ask this question because his plot threads seem to be connected to everything, and his spirit was once in a body.

A brilliant theory! But no, I can safely confirm that Mata Nui's spirit is still in its normal place, since he hasn't died yet as in 2007 story. And it will remain there until that time, at least (what happens next I can't comment on of course; it may be different from canon).But you're definately right that his plot threads are connecting to others for a reason. Edited June 10, 2012 by bonesiii

[fishers64]

Er, can I mentally replace "27" with "37" in that conversation above? I think so, otherwise it doesn't really make sense...* * *I agree with the Lewa points. They make sense. I'm glad that I was able to give you an idea in this regard...I wonder at what it is. (I don't think I'll start a theory-formulation run on it, though!)As for the silence comment, digression on my part to justify my picking apart your last statement. Sorry to have confused you. 

And there's always the forgetfulness that time brings to hamper that hope.

You definitely wrote this into the story.

The whole thing is a byproduct of a faulty premise that the Kuambu stole the technology from Bhukasa's species and they are now enemies as a result.

I see. Well, keep the basic idea, though not the specific technology, and you're on the right track in a way. Will be answered in Chapter 49.

Kuambu steal people's tech, ticking them off? It seemed that they stole Udjimok's species' Kuamor tech as well, so I don't doubt it much. But I think it's a bit of a stretch to peg Bhukasa's species' genocide on them (which was something I was thinking of ). Given what you've said about the tech being connected to Bhukasa's soulsong, I'm conjecturing the two events as completely unrelated. And no, I wasn't talking about the cannons, but I appreciate the information anyway. Once the cannons were separated from the black metal stuff, I set them aside in my mind to work on the other problem. I'm still sticking to the idea that the Kuambu took action to remove memory of those cannons' function to preserve their fleet. You seem to have implied that this isn't true, though, so I may have to rethink. There's a lot more that I haven't considered...That fact that you have revealed seems to imply, to me at least, that the Kuambu can't manufacture Bhukasa's tech either...but they can manipulate it to make prison islands using it. So that's why they captured Bhukasa in the first place, right? They needed his soulsong to manipulate the tech. Anyway, I have this strange guess that Tygaako and Co. are affected by something (disease, enemy) that the other Toa succumbed to that Tygaako kept fighting (or trying to fight) off. I was just making sure that guess about BE was off. It's more complicated then I see it, so he's probably some mysterious character I've never heard of. (Well, he is...but the truth behind him is not some obvious canonical entity that I can pull out of my brain.)I honestly had no idea that the fact that the plot threads were so unconnected was a mystery of itself, but I can see that now. Eventually all of them will probably wind together, right?That's mostly what I get out of Chapter 37. I also liked the scene with the Tarakava - "um, this is the wrong place" and then the box flashes red three times..."yes, this really is the wrong place. Get out!"Enough.

[bonesiii]

Chapter 38 is up.Sorry for the delay, contest polls and stuff taking my time, and I wanted to proofread this one carefully as it's the one with the two big reveals. Hope yall likey.

Kuambu steal people's tech, ticking them off? It seemed that they stole Udjimok's species' Kuamor tech as well, so I don't doubt it much.

That one is actually the other way around, I can safely confirm. Udmijok's people at some point got their hands on a Kuambu's launcher and figured out how it works. Also I don't want to mislead you into thinking the Kuambu are basically tech pirates. In fact most of what they make is made simply of wood and other primitive materials; I'll have more to comment on those lines near the end of this story. :)The reason for the Kuambu's interest in Bhukasa and his people's tech is for a deeper purpose, it's not just about gathering technology. There's something that this particular technology does that they want control over. This will be made fairly clear in the final words of the epilogue of this story. :)About the soulsong connection, basically Bhukasa's people designed their technology so it would only respond to their natural "beam of energy control" power. Soulsongs copied from him give other users like Kuambu a temporary equivalent that the tech also recognizes. That is meant to be implied in the story but not sure if it's clear enough.Correct; Kuambu cannot make the black metal tech.No, Kuambu did not make the prison islands. Will be revealed who did later in this story. The control over the tech Bhukasa's power gives is only to interact with the operating system programmed into it and activate programmed powers in it, not to make new things with it.Yes, Tyaagko and the others of his team were affected by the same thing (other than the Toa of Plants who is still conscious in the Kriitunga Island Kuambu prison).Thanks again for the detailed review.

[BULiK]

Mind=BlownI just read chapter 28, And I am suprised at the plot twist that Hujo is BE.The distant tug must be from the timed rope device, so when BE blacks out, it's Hujo getting out of the Cronoserum.This is one of the most revealing chapters yet. I cant wait for the next one.

[bonesiii]

Chapter 39 is up!

Mind=BlownI just read chapter 28, And I am suprised at the plot twist that Hujo is BE.The distant tug must be from the timed rope device, so when BE blacks out, it's Hujo getting out of the Cronoserum.This is one of the most revealing chapters yet. I cant wait for the next one.

38, but yeah. :PGlad it blew your mind, hope that wasn't too painful. But IS BE just Hujo? That's a question the newest chapter explores. :)Correct, the rope device is the distant tug.BTW, a comment about chapter 38's other big reveal -- that all the previous BE scenes actually took place before this story. If you look at them carefully, almost each one takes place during a different Paracosmos episode, starting with The Sword is But the Focus. If you read Emissary of Earth carefully, you might be able to spot the brief cameo of Blue Eyes in the past. Can anyone find it?

[The First Speaker]

BTW, a comment about chapter 38's other big reveal -- that all the previous BE scenes actually took place before this story. If you look at them carefully, almost each one takes place during a different Paracosmos episode, starting with The Sword is But the Focus. If you read Emissary of Earth carefully, you might be able to spot the brief cameo of Blue Eyes in the past. Can anyone find it?

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw something blue to his left, and jerked his head towards it, readying his claws defensively. Not more Nui-Jaga?. But the blue shape instantly disappeared. I guess my eyes are playing tricks on me. And it was no wonder. The sight of all those Nui-Jaga, blue and purple, had burned itself onto his mind just as much as their poison burned his eyes.

[BULiK]

BTW, a comment about chapter 38's other big reveal -- that all the previous BE scenes actually took place before this story. If you look at them carefully, almost each one takes place during a different Paracosmos episode, starting with The Sword is But the Focus. If you read Emissary of Earth carefully, you might be able to spot the brief cameo of Blue Eyes in the past. Can anyone find it?

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw something blue to his left, and jerked his head towards it, readying his claws defensively.Not more Nui-Jaga?.But the blue shape instantly disappeared. I guess my eyes are playing tricks on me.And it was no wonder. The sight of all those Nui-Jaga, blue and purple, had burned itself onto his mind just as much as their poison burned his eyes.

and don't forget his hand moving almost involuntarily as well as his arguing thoughts.

[bonesiii]

The end of Part Four, Chapter 40, is now posted! The final chapters, Part Five, will start next week.

BTW, a comment about chapter 38's other big reveal -- that all the previous BE scenes actually took place before this story. If you look at them carefully, almost each one takes place during a different Paracosmos episode, starting with The Sword is But the Focus. If you read Emissary of Earth carefully, you might be able to spot the brief cameo of Blue Eyes in the past. Can anyone find it?

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw something blue to his left, and jerked his head towards it, readying his claws defensively.Not more Nui-Jaga?.But the blue shape instantly disappeared. I guess my eyes are playing tricks on me.And it was no wonder. The sight of all those Nui-Jaga, blue and purple, had burned itself onto his mind just as much as their poison burned his eyes.

Correctomundo! You get ice cream!

and don't forget his hand moving almost involuntarily as well as his arguing thoughts.

No, that was him listening to Makuta tempting him; BE never inhabited his mind. Good try though.

[fishers64]

Wow.*recovers capacity for higher thought*- The beginning of 38 was a bit slow. Yes, Bhukasa is getting ready, but do we really need to know all the details?- I did not fully get the "further back in time thing" until you commented in the review topic about those appearances occurring in previous episodes. It's probably just me, but that part was really confusing. I was wondering for a second there if the whole story of EB repeated twice. I'm sure everyone else knew/suspected this before...oh well, somebody has to play the fool.I was impressed with the reveals, and I compliment you on the excellent work with the lastest chapter, which is my favorite yet - between the fast-paced pirate action scene and the cool "submarine" feature of the boat, it beat out Tyaako's insane craving for Fuji cakes.  Anyway, enough rambling from me. 

Edited July 2, 2012 by fishers64

[bonesiii]

The final Part Five has begun with Chapter 41!

- The beginning of 38 was a bit slow. Yes, Bhukasa is getting ready, but do we really need to know all the details?

I agree it was probably a little too slow, but some of those details I do think are essential, especially the handles for his crew to hold onto while Seahopping. That part will be referenced again and again in later story including The Perfect Cage so I wanted to make it clear. What I had hoped to do with that section was not to lead a chapter with it but put it somewhere in-between, but just because of the flow of the other threads I felt doing so in this case would have delayed giving an update on Bhukasa too long.Overall it's just another part of the "avoiding Bhukasa" that I did have a problem with in Part Four, but I also kinda think it's necessary as it's showing the extent of the damage the Lone Ship wreaked on them, that it's taken this long to recover.

- I did not fully get the "further back in time thing" until you commented in the review topic about those appearances occurring in previous episodes. It's probably just me, but that part was really confusing. I was wondering for a second there if the whole story of EB repeated twice. I'm sure everyone else knew/suspected this before...oh well, somebody has to play the fool.

First of all it isn't essential to understand that bit; the important part is that it's a time-travel "flash upside-down". Having it actually go back a second step is extra; it served two main purposes. One to just be a throwback to the original stories, and two, it does give a hint about another mystery. But in this story the only essential thing to understand is that a mental version of time traveling was happening.Secondly, I hope that it would be easier to notice for those who had read my earlier stories, like the ice bridge over a lake, which was an iconic scene in the first story. The part that takes place in Folly of Fire, I believe, even mentions the same lizard Tahu saw there in that story. And of course the Onua scene. And the whole fish in the maze sequence comes out of The Map of Mata Nui game, since there were fish in that maze there.Thirdly though in my proofreading I did worry that the reveal of this was... maybe too subtle to quite catch but also that it was two major reveals almost at once. If I could go back and start over from scratch on this I think in hindsight I would try to space out those reveals somehow, but not sure. Interested to hear other people's feedback on this BTW.

I was impressed with the reveals, and I compliment you on the excellent work with the lastest chapter, which is my favorite yet - between the fast-paced pirate action scene and the cool "submarine" feature of the boat, it beat out Tyaako's insane craving for Fuji cakes.

Cool. Glad especially you liked the pirate part. That one took a lot of editing work to keep it all consistent and anytime a section takes that much work I worry the life might get drained out of it, but good to hear not heh.(The biggest problem was that the vast rainstorm and thunderstorm system passing over the whole oceanscape of the different character threads has started to break up in places and clump in others, getting more complex than the earlier "it's raining everywhere", so I had to be very careful where I said it was raining, how much, etc. You might think I'm overthinking it, but there's a clue in this weather pattern to a mystery. )

[The First Speaker]

Are you planing on doing any artwork for this epic? There are some things that I just can't picture in my mind, such as Ga-Korr's ship. Another thing that confuses me a lot are the pillar islands; at first, I though it was just a tall, cylindrical island with a prision on its top, but I think that at some point it was indicated that it had a pebble beach. How is this possible? Is the pebble beach behind or in front of the golden wall? How did the Unkwnown ferry manage to get to it?

[bonesiii]

Chapter 42.

Are you planing on doing any artwork for this epic? There are some things that I just can't picture in my mind, such as Ga-Korr's ship. Another thing that confuses me a lot are the pillar islands; at first, I though it was just a tall, cylindrical island with a prision on its top, but I think that at some point it was indicated that it had a pebble beach. How is this possible? Is the pebble beach behind or in front of the golden wall? How did the Unkwnown ferry manage to get to it?

Yeah, I probably should illustrate some of those. Will try to get around to it.Here's some brief descriptions. All of this is in the epic, but then it's a long epic and it's spread out sometimes so it's understandably confusing I admit:Garr-Korr's ship -- It's basically like a clam, made out of two coins. The coins can be open as on a hinge, so the whole thing acts like a sail (travel mode) or closed (fighting mode). The lower coin has rooms, with some windows, below a main deck floor. The top coin is basically a roof.This part hasn't been mentioned yet, but the hinges are like a ring of grippers around the coin, so the location of the hinge can move by complicated claw devices letting go on one side and grabbing on another. It definitely occured to me early though that this is much easier drawn then described so I plan to. :)Pillar islands -- They come in two shapes.The one Bhukasa was imprisoned on (southeast of Mata Nui) has the ocean coming up right to a circular pebble beach, the top of a cylindrical stone shape that rises out of the ocean floor. Then, rising up from the middle of this is a narrower cylinder reaching up into the sky. Think of it like two cylinders stacked, the thinner one atop the thicker one. The prison jungle is atop the narrower one, high above.Some are half the height so are about at ocean level (like the one due east of Mata Nui). This is the exact same design but the thinner cylinder has been pushed down inside the thicker one, so the pebble beach is on the same basic level as the jungle prison. This one can be summed up as just the wider cylinder, with no narrow cylinder atop it. All the islands can be changed to either of these shapes; they are basically like giant pistons.Normally the ocean is not affected with the islands in either shape.But, at the Hole in the Ocean, a huge golden wall of light is generated around the lower, thicker cylinder, with a lot of open air between the wall and the island. The distance here is about like the distance between a bicycle's tire (the outer circle, the golden wall), and the axle in the center (the island), if you lay the bicycle tire on its side, so one side faces up. (Wall pulls non-water things in if too close too.)Only the island to the northeast has this golden wall active. The others all have the ocean coming right up to the pebble beaches. So the Unknown ferry has not encountered a golden wall.Edit: Chapter 43. Edited July 30, 2012 by bonesiii

[fishers64]

You don't like Bhukasa, bones? Chapter 42:

“Courtesy of your centaurish friends,” the fat one said. She glanced at him. He didn’t fit in with this group. The others – except for the robot – looked gruff and mean. That one looked absolutely jovial.

You mention a short, squat, individual before. Is that the "fat one"? Oracle Industries actually exists...they make Java, I think...Chapter 43...It seems that the roof over Bhukasa was teleported into place from Kriitunga, not built by chronoserum. Hmm...Nah, now that I think on it, the setup of Chapter 42 worked pretty well with Chapter 43. It just felt like you were avoiding the whiny old lizard again.

[bonesiii]

Chapter 44.

You don't like Bhukasa, bones?Nah, now that I think on it, the setup of Chapter 42 worked pretty well with Chapter 43. It just felt like you were avoiding the whiny old lizard again.

Heh. Basically he was unconscious during 42 (and now in this one there he goes again lol). The Bhukasa featuring gains steadily in length as Part 5 goes on, as many other character threads move closer to their conclusions. For the first half of Part 5, I decided to mostly go back to my original style in the early stories of alternating chapters that focused on the main protagonist and on side threads. The second half of Part 5 is where things really pick up for Bhukasa, especially the final three chapters.

“Courtesy of your centaurish friends,” the fat one said. She glanced at him. He didn’t fit in with this group. The others – except for the robot – looked gruff and mean. That one looked absolutely jovial.

You mention a short, squat, individual before. Is that the "fat one"?

I'm not sure off the top of my head. I noticed as I was proofreading that these early references to the pirates were sometimes confusing. *looks into it* Yes, I think, although I don't recall saying he was short. That might be the bearded one (if not, it's the fat one). Anyways, it should become clearer in Chapter 45; can comment more then.

Oracle Industries actually exists...they make Java, I think...

Lol. I just googled it and there's actually many different companies that could count for that. Ironicles.

It seems that the roof over Bhukasa was teleported into place from Kriitunga, not built by chronoserum. Hmm...

Just to confirm since the story kinda just implied it strongly, that's correct. But it was done by the chronoserum (by a method much more complex than mere teleportation, but that method doesn't factor into this story; I plan to reveal it in the Kuambu finale).

[Takuta-Nui]

I'm back. Now that I've arrived at the 12-month point where it's less than a year until I finish my degree, I'm winding down a lot of things and allowing myself to relax more so I can study better during the coming year. Let's not dally any longer! I last reviewed Chapter 8 and re-read the story up to that point. Here are my thoughts on Chapter 9. :)Reaction to Ito using Niaka's mask's Rahudermis: a single word inappropriate for this site. But it was also a brilliant timing of plot threads since you could immediately return to Niaka's group and fully reveal that secret without being away from that thread too long. Nicely done.I approve of Caroha's strategy with getting Hujo to obey her every command without thinking. It's probably necessary in such circumstances. Yet, in this epic there has been some questioning of the Unknown. Niaka, Lewa, and Hujo. The theme is similar - the Unknown are good, but contradictory in their apparent actions and words. The redeeming assumption is that those contradictions resolve themselves into good plans on deeper levels. But we can't know that. So Caroha forcing Hujo into this position is still questionable, especially if it physically exhausts him. (Then again, that could be a way to get him used to the heavy suit!)Even at the end of the chapter, I believe in Caroha... A good sign of the convincing job the Unknown have done to appear good!Will keep editing this post until you reply, or until I hit my max. There's a lot more to read, and I've got two weeks till school starts. Chapter 10: Reading this in the bath, so I can't help but wonder if Blue Eyes is in here with me! :PI had to laugh in sheer amazement at that revelation about the suits. My faith paid off, and I'm sure glad it did! And even though it's a simple example of the Unknown's multilayered intentions and actions, it's a great way to establish this for a new reader for the rest of the epic. Well done.Very cool narrow divergence of that scene with Hafu! Brought back the intense memory of watching that episode. I like how fast the Bohrok Saga is passing, too. It's clear you've sped up a bit per your revised plans, but I don't feel like its -too- fast. Just so you know. ;)Great ending to Part 1! Toggler seems pretty cool, and one couldn't ask for a handier ally when on an ocean. Turning water to solid and shapeswitching (neat concept BTW) should prove helpful, as well as his recollections for Bhukaka.The Memory Stone giving Bhukasa a definite mission allows me to identify an issue with Twisted Island's plot. Being as convoluted as it was, it may have worsened due to the lack of a clear objective. "Escape" simply isn't reliable enough. But finding a object that in turn will grant knowledge, which in turn will assist with the broader mission of combatting the Kuambu - that helps keep things grounded. Although it may be a bit cliche - journeying for some exalted artifact - it's a proven strategy. Here's to its success.Chapter 11: Wow, it seems like BE ended up in some kind of video game realm? I know you created a game with the Labyrinth in it, but I haven't played it so I don't know if it matches the story description. Definitely one of the most unsettling parts of this story thus far!Rathoa finally makes his EB appearance. It's nice to see him in less than a position of power for once! I taste the traces of the original Plan by the Brotherhood due to Icarax's claims. Can't remember - does Rathoa know about the Great Spirit's true nature? I don't think so, since we readers don't even know what Mata Nui is like in the Paracosmos yet. Anyway, it'll be a good chance of pace seeing our favorite Captain of Treason on the run!The Shaking makes me wonder if this dimension has the Great Spirit in a perpetual awakening state... Since everything is shaking and Bohrok are apparently trying to clean the entire place up, I wonder if he's stuck somehow. But the Bohrok didn't have Krana, so perhaps they've been hijacked and modified by someone for a different purpose that doesn't quite permit Mata Nui to rise. I feel like the shaking is the real mystery here, not the Bohrok, due to Caroha's naming. Then again, that could be a decoy.Chapter 12: Okay, so the Third Faction may have taken over in The Shaking, since the Kal think they are modifying the Bohrok. They may have succeeded more in that dimension than in the Paracosmos - hopefully! And now we have reason to believe they are working with the Kuambu - gulp.More clues about the maze. Definitely a video game of some sort, or a virtual simulation since living beings can exist in it. Perhaps the fish is still in the tank. It's all so bizarre - and you do a great job maintaining that feeling - and I get the impression that this is some sort of minor and incomplete experiment. After all, a fish is like a lab rat in this kind of context. Why put one in your simulation? Obviously BE has discovered that fish have feelings and thoughts, which the experimenter may have been closed minded to.However, not all is as it appears. I refuse to trust my first theory because it's rather too obvious. What if everything BE has been experiencing has, in fact, been a simulation designed to encourage BE's development? The simulation is modeled to imitate real-life events - in fact, it does imitate them very accurately. This would imply a being or group of beings with vast knowledge, and since BE has mostly brushed past good characters, I believe it's the Unknown doing this. Makes sense if the maze says it's their Labyrinth. The maze itself, then, is symbolic of BE's developing consciousness and sense of self. There are levels or progression, and a theme of searching for freedom that BE and the fish share. In fact, BE may have required the fish to understand freedom more clearly, since prior to this BE has been totally free to explore except when the tug happens. Forcing BE into a puzzle world would be another way of developing its consciousness and intelligence.After all, BE is navigating this with a fish, using the fish and communicating with it. That's just a step away from having its own body. Sort of clever, to give BE the ability to share a body but not fully control it, like a test pilot to make sure it's ready for the real thing. In this way, the maze would be closer to reality than BE thinks. It's an obvious in-between place; BE has figured that out. But while BE thinks it's further away from reality, it's actually closer.Now THAT is the theory I'll stick with and develop. It feels like something you would concoct!

As he released its mind he caught a wisp of anger that it had been taken irreversibly from its own home.

Well now, think of all the fleas that may have lost their lives in the battles between the Rahunga, Toa, and others! These people may need to rethink their priorities. Chapter 13: Nothing more terrifying than a giant that can move fast through a normally slow substance like sand. It's a contradiction of scale and speed that just adds to the "wrongness" of it. I suspect they're all merely trapped, though, since they all were caught so quickly. Doubt the monster had time to eat or kill them. (And this isn't the sort of story where people die, I hope.)This is where the story gets fast, though. Not much else to say, just good writing. I can't stop reading!Chapter 14: Wait, took a few minutes to click! This is inspired by the LOST monster, isn't it? Rustling noise, terrifying speed and near-impossible to sight. ;)All right, so we know it is definitely the Labyrinth of the Unknown, and probably not a virtual dimension. Just the Unknown's general weirdness lol. I think my theory still stands in that those tugs may be premeditated by someone who is guiding BE along his development. Someone with this kind of knowledge of the Unknown is frightening, though.Clever use of powers by Mukana here. I enjoyed that kind of writing when doing my own epics... Creating a predicament and then getting creative with what the characters have at their disposal.Chapter 15: Short action and dialogue chapter. The quaking island sure smacked of LOST too. I'm guessing you took this opportunity to create a little Bionicle-ified version! Perhaps the Memory Stone is like that keystone at the centre of the island, and taking it means the island will go beyond quaking to actually breaking apart. It's interesting how Torkax referred to the Stone; with the "terrible cost," I wonder if the name is literal: would the user of the Stone somehow become lost to the Now? Perhaps it is a mental time travel device - you don't physically return to the time when you remembered everything, but your mind does, trapping you in the past and forgetting everything in the present. Definitely seems terrible enough.Chapter 16: Interesting new predicament with Kanoka that Tahu considers. Sort of reverse Stockholm Syndrome. Should we call it Protocage Syndrome in this universe? Regardless, I remember the musings earlier in the story about Kanoka's incredible battle prowess. That would involve prisoners - and as Rahunga, Kanoka certainly is familiar with that. I don't think he would switch sides so easily just because he's being imprisoned. I believe Kanoka is more patient and understanding than that. Then again a Rahunga. That's all some of the Toa and Turaga can think about, I'm sure.Hujo's choice of obedience is poignant. As Jahurungi, he often needs to break from expectations and norms in order to illuminate secrets. So when he chooses to obey someone unquestioningly on such a visceral level, it almost challenges the essence of who he is. Is it better that he obeys Caroha in particular? I think that remains to be seen.Mysterious caves are the best. Edited August 26, 2012 by Takuta-Nui

[bonesiii]

Chapter 45 is up!In other news, I have just finished writing the (first draft of the) final chapter of The Perfect Cage (to take place next after EB). Still need to write an epilogue and do some heavy checking of details throughout it, but yeah. After I do that I plan to immediately revise the story Falling Sun (as it's now retitled) that I had written a while ago and will now take place after TPC. Then I'll probably take a break from the BP to work on the Expanded Multiverse Season 1 finale. :)BTW, partially because of some things you said, TN, quoted below, I may write another story before continuing the Kuambu Saga after that. I've mentioned before that I've been kicking around the idea of writing an epic version of the story in my computer game, The Map of Mata Nui. I do think it would be a very good idea to do it, for those who don't really want to play the game, and to give "my official take" on it, as the game's format leaves a lot more unanswered and it's obviously not in Hujo's head the way my written stories are. Of course, I have yet to finish the final final final version of the game itself, so I dunno about the timing and such, but yeah, I think it's something I'll seriously try to find time for. We'll see.

I'm back. Now that I've arrived at the 12-month point where it's less than a year until I finish my degree, I'm winding down a lot of things and allowing myself to relax more so I can study better during the coming year.

Awesome to hear from you again, and a very helpful, in-depth review. ^_^Thanks about the Rahudermis mask timing and the other praise you gave. =D

I had to laugh in sheer amazement at that revelation about the suits. My faith paid off, and I'm sure glad it did!

Good to know you figured it out as you went; that was one of the things I tried to balance right on the edge where some might not, some might and hopefully it would be enjoyable either way.

Very cool narrow divergence of that scene with Hafu! Brought back the intense memory of watching that episode. I like how fast the Bohrok Saga is passing, too. It's clear you've sped up a bit per your revised plans, but I don't feel like its -too- fast. Just so you know.

Good to know. I've sort of decided on a one-Saga-per-episode schedule to some extent, although there will probably be some exceptions (for example I plan to make the Kuambu finale include both 2006 Voya Nui & 2007).

The Memory Stone giving Bhukasa a definite mission allows me to identify an issue with Twisted Island's plot. Being as convoluted as it was, it may have worsened due to the lack of a clear objective. "Escape" simply isn't reliable enough. But finding a object that in turn will grant knowledge, which in turn will assist with the broader mission of combatting the Kuambu - that helps keep things grounded. Although it may be a bit cliche - journeying for some exalted artifact - it's a proven strategy. Here's to its success.

Those are very insightful points. Of course, it's ironic because The Perfect Cage is also (as the name implies) using the theme of escape a lot (though not in the same way; but I can't comment more without giving away the end). I do like stories, though, where the objective isn't very clear until near the end, although not really sure TI qualifies.Another problem with TI IMO, and maybe the biggest, that would have also fixed this, is that as things turned out it needed to fill the slot of the "Rahunga Saga finale", and yet it barely has Rahunga as part of the core plot. Rathoa unleashes the Ghomboka who are the main threat in the rest. Rathoa also goes off on his own quest, and you have Kanoka's group. But the still-loyal-to-Makuta Rahunga play almost no role. Mainly because I didn't realize as I wrote it that I would have just three big Sagas like this, and having learned that lesson I intend to apply it to the Kuambu and third Saga finales of course.I've been thinking lately, though, that it may be best to consider Captain of Treason as the Rahunga Saga finale. I think it's a lot more successful of a story and it does bring the Rahunga to a resolution, with Rathoa's choice at the very end. And then consider Twisted Island a sort of interim story, tying up some loose ends of the Rahunga Saga while opening the stage for the Kuambu Saga.The only reason I resisted listing it that way was that I have no plans for an interim story between the Kuambu Saga and the Third Saga, but really that shouldn't matter as the whole Paracosmos series intentionally shifts styles constantly to experiment. So yeah, I now consider CoT to be the Rahunga Saga finale, and TI to be a sort of preliminary introduction to the Kuambu Saga. :)Anywho...

Chapter 11: Wow, it seems like BE ended up in some kind of video game realm? I know you created a game with the Labyrinth in it, but I haven't played it so I don't know if it matches the story description. Definitely one of the most unsettling parts of this story thus far!

This is a very interesting theory you came up with; I didn't quite expect it but in hindsight it makes sense. Just to clear this up though, BE was appearing in a location that was in the game, which at least physical beings can exist in; the fish are real fish for example.In The Map of Mata Nui, for those who haven't played it, basically Hujo was questing for the Blue Fire Staff throughout the plot, and near the end, set up six "Pyrkoku Stones" he'd collected (they look like those stones with the symbolic face for Mata Nui from 2001, but come in the six Toa Mata basic colors, and have mystical unexplained powers) around a spot in Kini-Wahi. A hole appeared in the ground as if it was an illusion, but he could fall in. And did; landed in the first of the series of strange mazes. Went through six mazes, and at the end entered a special room where Kanoka battled to stop him from getting the Staff. The game-like systems in the mazes are of course invented by me to make the computer game more fun, but in-story they are actually there, partially for battle practice, and at that time were repurposed as a guardian system for the Staff.

Rathoa finally makes his EB appearance. It's nice to see him in less than a position of power for once! I taste the traces of the original Plan by the Brotherhood due to Icarax's claims. Can't remember - does Rathoa know about the Great Spirit's true nature? I don't think so, since we readers don't even know what Mata Nui is like in the Paracosmos yet.

Well, suffice to say there was a scene in TI, from the Unknown Somaihri's point of view, where Rathoa called up a map of the BP MU on a Brotherhood device, to summon the meeting at Destral, and Somaihri wondered in her head whether the Brotherhood understood the shape of the map. If the Unknown don't know if they (and thus Rathoa) know, I'd better not reveal it either. But I'll be able to answer this once EB's epilogue is up.

The Shaking makes me wonder if this dimension has the Great Spirit in a perpetual awakening state... Since everything is shaking and Bohrok are apparently trying to clean the entire place up, I wonder if he's stuck somehow. But the Bohrok didn't have Krana, so perhaps they've been hijacked and modified by someone for a different purpose that doesn't quite permit Mata Nui to rise. I feel like the shaking is the real mystery here, not the Bohrok, due to Caroha's naming. Then again, that could be a decoy.

It's safe for me to confirm that the shaking is the mystery. The Bohrok's strange state there are not shared with the Paracosmos so are not what Caroha wants Hujo to learn, but the shaking could happen in the Paracosmos.

This would imply a being or group of beings with vast knowledge, and since BE has mostly brushed past good characters, I believe it's the Unknown doing this. Makes sense if the maze says it's their Labyrinth.

The reason for the timing of BE being in the Labyrinth at that moment has been cleared up after another reveal in later chapters, in other posts of mine here. That should suffice as an answer until you catch up and can read them without spoiling anything.

The maze itself, then, is symbolic of BE's developing consciousness and sense of self. There are levels or progression, and a theme of searching for freedom that BE and the fish share. In fact, BE may have required the fish to understand freedom more clearly, since prior to this BE has been totally free to explore except when the tug happens. Forcing BE into a puzzle world would be another way of developing its consciousness and intelligence.

You're absolutely right about all of that. The reason for it happening, though, is... ah... well I can't say it to you yet, but I could say it to the others who have read all of what's posted. Spoiler tag time?

I'll just make it a minimal spoiler. The reason BE enters the maze at that time is purely psychological.

But while BE thinks it's further away from reality, it's actually closer.Now THAT is the theory I'll stick with and develop. It feels like something you would concoct!

Now I kinda wish I had. But in a sense there may be some truth to it.... I can't say more than that though as it speaks to the nature of the Labyrinth and the Pyrkoku Stones which are still a secret.

I can't stop reading!

That's always good to hear!

Chapter 14: Wait, took a few minutes to click! This is inspired by the LOST monster, isn't it? Rustling noise, terrifying speed and near-impossible to sight.

Exactly correct.

The quaking island sure smacked of LOST too. I'm guessing you took this opportunity to create a little Bionicle-ified version! Perhaps the Memory Stone is like that keystone at the centre of the island, and taking it means the island will go beyond quaking to actually breaking apart. It's interesting how Torkax referred to the Stone; with the "terrible cost," I wonder if the name is literal: would the user of the Stone somehow become lost to the Now? Perhaps it is a mental time travel device - you don't physically return to the time when you remembered everything, but your mind does, trapping you in the past and forgetting everything in the present. Definitely seems terrible enough.

Cool theories. You'll see the answer yourself as you read the next few. And yes, Memory Island was definitely intentionally mirroring LOST in a lot of ways. I actually intended it to feel more like LOST Season 2 than the final season, so what's in the center is more like the hatch. If you take careful note of the geography there is an allusion to the Dharma Initiative as well.

Chapter 16: Interesting new predicament with Kanoka that Tahu considers. Sort of reverse Stockholm Syndrome. Should we call it Protocage Syndrome in this universe? Regardless, I remember the musings earlier in the story about Kanoka's incredible battle prowess. That would involve prisoners - and as Rahunga, Kanoka certainly is familiar with that. I don't think he would switch sides so easily just because he's being imprisoned. I believe Kanoka is more patient and understanding than that. Then again a Rahunga. That's all some of the Toa and Turaga can think about, I'm sure.

Protocage Syndrome, sure. Edited August 27, 2012 by bonesiii

[Takuta-Nui]

I agree with you on CoT being more of a true Rahunga finale. No issues with TI becoming an interim episode.. that's just organization, and sometimes it's better to organize after you've written because things can change so much by the end. Planning out sagas and episodes years ahead of time can end up seriously constraining your imagination and willingness to try new things, so I would not concern myself too much. It's experimental after all.Thanks for the reminder of what the game was about. I'll keep this in mind because there's obviously something I don't know yet - I had to resist clicking on that spoiler tag!Almost missed the Dharma Initiative allusion - octagons, am I correct?Chapter 17: Can't help but wonder if it is coincidental timing that Hujo and Caroha pass through The Shaking at the same time that Memory Island starts shaking itself to bits... need more clues for this, I think.More excitingly, however, is the apparent vial of chronoserum Bhukasa just found. Coming so close to touching it probably caused a near-Event - not actually, but just the very beginnings, ready to take off as soon as he actually touched it. But the also apparent fact that Bhukasa and Blue Eyes briefly connected must mean BE is connected to the chronoserum somehow. The substance acted like some sort of conductor. And, of course, Bhukasa is blue! The theme of blue is just... endless... :PEyes a theme of Memory Island - another connection to Blue Eyes. "camerati" - camera, with some grammatical twist to give it more of an active meaning, as in eyes that constantly see and perceive?

Surely someone who did not have eyes could still have memories… someone blind could hear and feel and think…

If this is not a direct implication of Blue Eyes' importance, I don't know what is! Now here is my theory: BE is Bhukasa's memories, somehow manifested. Something happened, perhaps because of the Kuambu, that caused Bhukasa's memories to separate from his body/spirit. There is the question of why BE didn't appear until now, though. Perhaps simple time delay. And the chronoserum has something to do with this... perhaps some kind of secondary function. Or perhaps it is merely reacting to this separation because it has something in kin with the separation and offshooting of new dimensions. After all, BE is exploring and learning on its own, so that's almost like creating a dimensional offshoot from Bhukasa. See where this theory takes us...I don't think Bhukasa realizes what he just did by throwing away that vial! The question is why the vial is there in the first place, and who knows about it... If Torkax doesn't know what it is either, then he may cause something very bad. Then again, I feel like another Event would be overdoing it, so I suspect it won't happen. Something else equally bad might, though.Chapter 18: It is pretty cool to see Rathoa and an Unknown working together. Such powerful entities joining together is a force even the Brotherhood has to reckon with. And good keeping in character with Rathoa thinking about stealing their technology... it's been a while since I read about him so that's a good little reminder of his constant treacherous nature.Now we know the Kuambu are on Mata Nui, and have made it so far as Ko-Wahi and into a hidden room, to boot! And... a Rathoa Kuamor Sphere? I don't want to be the person - or anywhere near the person - who gets hit with that. :PSounds like Lewa is becoming more of a decisive leader by being indecisive and leaderless. A contradiction suiting both his character and the situation.Well, didn't see that coming with the stone. Gulp!Chapter 19: Really weird stuff with the Memory Stone - what IS the point of it all? I guess that Bhukasa will figure out the poem or riddle, and hopefully now that Torkax the Peddler has seen the Stone, the cycle of the Price will be broken. This is rather akin to the need for a person to stay in the hatch and press the button every 160 minutes (think I remembered the time correctly)... similarly, someone has to stay behind to guard the Memory Stone. And there is a total taboo on viewing the Stone itself, like there is in allowing the time limit to end without entering the numbers.Good stuff in this chapter otherwise; not much for me to actually comment on yet.Chapter 20: Good technical segue from Bhukasa to Hujo. Can just see the seamless scene switch as if it were a movie (or TV show; wouldn't it be neat if these stories got turned into CGI episodes?).

The field tossed him gently over the lip of the top of the shaft, another the floor of a passageway just like the one below

Diction seems off at the comma. Not sure if I'm reading it wrong.But that scene seems to be a good explanation for how video game characters return to the surface from caves and the like, especially in Zelda games. I'm replaying Wind Waker so that may be why I'm thinking of this. :PCan't ever get used to the creepiness of the Krana'd Le-Matoran scene!Brilliant way to reveal Makuta's secret. It is Ito who has the deathsense, correct? I can't remember but I'm pretty sure it is him. I recall the part when he lost his second-last life, and I think it was around then that his deathsense was discussed.Also brilliant move to trace the tablet. Clearly Bhukasa was paying attention in kindergarten! Although this raises an interesting question: how would a person think of such an unusual trick when they have no memories beyond the past week or so? Did he think of it through sheer creativity? Seems unlikely given the little time he had to even think of the tablet bomb plan. The same question applies to Matoran and other beings who are created over time... Do they come with a basic knowledge store that they begin applying as they begin living? I'd be interested in your perspective on this, bones.Chapter 21: So Lewa did fall after all. He is going to seriously beat himself up after he gets rescued! That is, if he does get rescued in the Paracosmos. Would be cool if he stayed Lewa-Krana for much longer than in the Cosmos. Also enjoyed the allusions to Mata Nui's true nature.Certainly, if you're going to be the Rulers of the Sea, you have to be able to control the very sea itself. I found the discovery of the sinkhole's attraction power to be well-written with the

tiny threads of light reaching out to it, like hair to a static charge.

especially vivid and easy to relate to in understanding the implications of the scenario.Twayzivl's musings were rather provoking to me - in a good way. Studying intersectionality recently has me interpreting his thoughts in that context. He's torn between a desire for change in society to match and accept his mutation, and another desire for the traditional ways in order to preserve his soul after death... And that indecision leads to him being frozen, literally and metaphorically.I think this is my favorite chapter because of Aethion's cameo appearance! Great job with the description reveal of the universe... It's reawakened my awe. :)How does BE know he wants to gulp? Heh, the mysteries of disembodied minds.Chapter 22: The ultimate working weapon of the Kuambu, it seems, is mystery. Bhukasa goes over everything they "know" about the Kuambu, which really is just what they definitely know they don't know (are we channelling Rumsfeld here?) and yet he fears them. So it's not exactly fear of the unknown. It's just that, when you do try to understand them, it becomes apparent that there is some deeper and vaster mystery.Creepy Toa is creepy. This comment segues into...Chapter 23: Clearly the tablet is more than a random scribbling. Now we have two sources of Poetraxiens in two different locations. That's when we can start extrapolating based on facts... 1) Both are located within the domain of the Kuambu. 2) Both are located specifically within territories consciously controlled by the Kuambu (a prison island and a trap island). 3) It seems to have something to do with elements or powers, the mystery of which bears a great similarity to the mystery of the Kuamor spheres. This is less a fact than an apparent correlation. I'm basing this on the actual fact that the Poetraxiens comes up right after Bhukasa and others have returned to the Kuamor sphere question, so the proximity in the writing suggest to me the author is indicating a relationship. Now I'm gonna go further. Bhukasa got to the point where it seemed like a pointless cycle of catching people, copying soulsong spheres, and using those to catch more people. What if they are doing this because most of those soulsongs are unimportant, but they are indeed searching for very particular soulsongs? And if Mad Toa grabbed onto the idea of ingredients for the best pie, does this mean he knows of the Kuambu's strategy (if only subconsciously now), which is to track down very particular soulsongs and use them to recreate something, or some things - perhaps the Poetraxiens Elements? That's where I am in my thoughts now.Also, I laughed quite loudly at Mad Toa's unexpected escape. Chapter 24: Awesome cameo of the Totems! It looks like this is becoming quite the extended Aethion adventu which I won't complain about.Cool decoding of the Poetraxiens. It's not going in the direction I expected based on my theory above, but we'll see. Edited September 2, 2012 by Takuta-Nui

[bonesiii]

Chapter 46. The Perfect Cage first draft is done. And revising of Falling Sun has begun.

Almost missed the Dharma Initiative allusion - octagons, am I correct?

Yep.

Chapter 17: Can't help but wonder if it is coincidental timing that Hujo and Caroha pass through The Shaking at the same time that Memory Island starts shaking itself to bits... need more clues for this, I think.

Other than thematic parallel, it's coincidence.

apparent vial of chronoserum Bhukasa just found. Coming so close to touching it probably caused a near-Event

Two comments, first, yes, it was chronoserum.Second, it's been stated that only Matoran or those related to them touching chronoserum cause Events. I haven't really decided for sure, but Bhukasa's species would likely not cause an Event. (Unless somehow they were related to Matoran but I doubt I will make them so.) Various other dangerous effects might happen, though, which future story will probably explore (not with him per se but non-Matoran), possibly including reality-altering effects like those Kopaka has witnessed.

"camerati" - camera, with some grammatical twist to give it more of an active meaning, as in eyes that constantly see and perceive?

The explanation for this one is actually simple and not that important, but it will be less spoilery for me to give it once the final chapter is up (and read by you, heh), so remind me then. For now I can say that the connection of camerati to eyes here is purely poetic. (I've given the basic reason for these poetic comparisons in other posts here in relation to things that are later revealed, once you catch up. Something coming up in unposted chapters will shed more light on it too.)

Now here is my theory: BE is Bhukasa's memories, somehow manifested.

A reasonable theory, that others shared. My comment to it can also be found in other replies here already once you've caught up.

I don't think Bhukasa realizes what he just did by throwing away that vial! The question is why the vial is there in the first place, and who knows about it... If Torkax doesn't know what it is either, then he may cause something very bad. Then again, I feel like another Event would be overdoing it, so I suspect it won't happen. Something else equally bad might, though.

Some thoughts -- I do not consider Torkax a relative of Matoran, so an Event would not happen. I can also give some other comments on this later too, once you've read a part which I'll just identify as somewhere before Part Five to avoid being too specific. :PAlso, the vial I can safely confirm is one of the many objects the random teleporters in the Unknown city sent away to places that are not often visited by others. BTW, the astute reader may be able to form an accurate theory as to how those teleporters select the destinations by now.

And... a Rathoa Kuamor Sphere? I don't want to be the person - or anywhere near the person - who gets hit with that.

All I can say to that is that... um... no, I can't say that either... Sorry, I'll just leave it at that. Much later you may... ah, can't say that either darnit.Yeah. Insightful comment. There.

Well, didn't see that coming with the stone. Gulp!

Yay, on both counts.

I guess that Bhukasa will figure out the poem or riddle, and hopefully now that Torkax the Peddler has seen the Stone, the cycle of the Price will be broken.

Since I don't plan to majorly revisit Memory Island, and you've finished Part Two, I may as well say that the cycle is still intact, should anyone else visit the place. Torkax is probably devastated by what little he heard, but his slavery to the job is absolute and so he will have to pull through that and continue; the ruler of the island will not have it any other way. As to whether that will ever change, I haven't yet decided, so we'll see.

This is rather akin to the need for a person to stay in the hatch and press the button every 160 minutes (think I remembered the time correctly)...

108. Adding 4 + 8 + 15 + 16 + 23 + 42. But that's neither here nor there...

Can just see the seamless scene switch as if it were a movie (or TV show; wouldn't it be neat if these stories got turned into CGI episodes?).

If only.

Diction seems off at the comma.

Mem's foggy (irony), but pretty sure it's what I meant to say. Meaning:

The field tossed him gently over the lip of the top of the shaft, another [field lowered him to the] the floor of a passageway just like the one below

Probably best not to shorten it confusingly like that though so I'll edit it... And not really sure how he'd know it was a different field and not the same one in one smooth motion come to think of it...

It is Ito who has the deathsense, correct? I can't remember but I'm pretty sure it is him.

Yes.

Also brilliant move to trace the tablet. Clearly Bhukasa was paying attention in kindergarten! Although this raises an interesting question: how would a person think of such an unusual trick when they have no memories beyond the past week or so? Did he think of it through sheer creativity?

That's what I had in mind when I wrote it, but in hindsight it's likely he thought of it based on something from his life on his home island, which remained subconsciously accessible much like language and basic skills do, as with the Toa Mata's Kanohi training still working when they lost their mems from the canisters. I could elaborate more on why once the second-to-last chapter is up, if it's not immediately obvious then.

Seems unlikely given the little time he had to even think of the tablet bomb plan. The same question applies to Matoran and other beings who are created over time... Do they come with a basic knowledge store that they begin applying as they begin living? I'd be interested in your perspective on this, bones.

I do believe so, but it's not quite what I had in mind here after a mem loss, to be clear. I portrayed Kalek in Sticks & Stones as coming into being knowing the language and some basics for example. But I doubt tracing would qualify.

Twayzivl's musings were rather provoking to me - in a good way. Studying intersectionality recently has me interpreting his thoughts in that context. He's torn between a desire for change in society to match and accept his mutation, and another desire for the traditional ways in order to preserve his soul after death... And that indecision leads to him being frozen, literally and metaphorically.

Makes sense.

How does BE know he wants to gulp? Heh, the mysteries of disembodied minds.

All I can say for now is that that's definitely a reaction I intended.

Now we have two sources of Poetraxiens in two different locations. That's when we can start extrapolating based on facts... 1) Both are located within the domain of the Kuambu. 2) Both are located specifically within territories consciously controlled by the Kuambu (a prison island and a trap island). 3) It seems to have something to do with elements or powers, the mystery of which bears a great similarity to the mystery of the Kuamor spheres. This is less a fact than an apparent correlation. I'm basing this on the actual fact that the Poetraxiens comes up right after Bhukasa and others have returned to the Kuamor sphere question, so the proximity in the writing suggest to me the author is indicating a relationship.

Firstly, I'm glad you put this down as I was hoping people would work from that second clue along these lines.Second, your numbered facts are on the right track.The location of the trap island is not directly relevant, but indirectly it is. This one will become clear in The Perfect Cage.There is a very loose correlation but I can't say more than that. Well, I can add that some of the details in that section are relevant to another major Paracosmos mystery, but I can't give any hint as to which one.

Now I'm gonna go further. Bhukasa got to the point where it seemed like a pointless cycle of catching people, copying soulsong spheres, and using those to catch more people. What if they are doing this because most of those soulsongs are unimportant, but they are indeed searching for very particular soulsongs?

To this I can only say "interesting theory." This one should start to become clearer gradually throughout the Kuambu Saga and will be answered in the finale.

And if Mad Toa grabbed onto the idea of ingredients for the best pie, does this mean he knows of the Kuambu's strategy (if only subconsciously now), which is to track down very particular soulsongs and use them to recreate something, or some things - perhaps the Poetraxiens Elements? That's where I am in my thoughts now.

I didn't really intend a correlation, but there may or may not be one...

[CyclonatorZ]

So yeah, I now consider CoT to be the Rahunga Saga finale, and TI to be a sort of preliminary introduction to the Kuambu Saga.

It's funny you say it that way, because from the begining, I had assumed that was always your intention. :PAnyway, I just read chapter 45, and boy was I excited to finally see my final Blue MOCs winner featured. And only just now, after glancing back at the contrest entry photo, did I realize that it obscured the shoulder spike on one of the arms. Ah well, the asymetricality makes her more interesting in writing anyway. Also, I'm not sure if I have said this before or if it is true, but it occurs to me that sadly, I may be the only contest winner who survived the BZP downtime and is actually commenting on the resulting epic. Edited September 3, 2012 by ~~Zarkan~~

[Takuta-Nui]

Thanks for the response to my theories, bones. I'm keeping it all in mind. Biggest one for me is that you intended for that contradiction between BE's desire to gulp and its apparent impossibility to desire such a thing... It strengthens my theory that BE is Bhukasa's memories. And Surkahi told BE to follow the ship Bhukasa is on until the right moment... Not explicitly, but implied, which is just his style.Only Matoran can cause Events - thanks for reminding me of that fact! Changes that scene a bit, but still, I'm willing to believe that BE somehow was created as a lingering aftereffect of the Event that created Twisted Island... Yet that doesn't make sense since Bhukasa lost his memories well before the Event. Nowhere to go but forward.One last thing - were the blue creatures on the sea bottom Gadunka? I can't recall if they were amphibious.Chapter 25: Hold on, are they (Bhukasa and Taureko) speaking in English? If they can rhyme xiens and science, that has to be English, not Matoran, right? Or is this just a "translation" for us readers like Greg said he did in his writing?It's delightful to read through the decoding of the poem! I'm curious, did you write it first with just a general idea of your intent, and then actually decode it yourself through the story, or did you built it piece by piece from bottom up?The revelation that protodermic beings can recover all their memories (being constructed as machines with better functionality than evolved beings, although nobody here knows that yet, I think) is pretty cool. I think this might be related to your winning theory on the nature of protodermis. You made a whole diagram of the atomic structure and everything, and argued that there could essentially be only one type of protodermis that has a mechanism allowing it to "become" different substances. Almost a Bionicle equivalent of stem cells. Am I remembering that correctly? I'd love it if you could link me to that topic so I can re-read it, even if it's not relevant to this.Ah, should have seen that coming. Of course the Kuambu would support any movement that wants to confront the Toa! Great dramatic meeting full of power plays. You know that's how I like it. Chapter 26: Crazy happenings on Kriitunga Island! The fact that there are eight of these horns (hey, eight...) suggests Kriitunga Island was built as a sort of defense base. For the Kuambu, ages ago, perhaps? Or Kriitunga ancestors? It seems designed as a long range defense because small ships can slip under it rather quickly, so I wonder if it was designed originally to ward off the Kuambu's larger ships. Krohlaba obviously nearly hits upon this possibility. Of course, I'm more interested in how Mhondoka met the Kuambu and gained this knowledge. That's the missing link that, once known, will reveal more about what the overarching plan is - and whether the Kuambu truly are on their side.

It was the right thing to do. That was why he did it.

Props to Krohlaba. His inner conflict is more or less finally resolved. And a suiting end for the giant mutant (although I doubt we have seen the last of him). Powerful ending to that little thread! I enjoyed it very much.Chapter 27: Oh dear, BE really has lost it. But I don't know why I didn't see this before - BE is experiencing the Poetraxiens senses! And like before, slowly bringing them together into a single stream of consciousness. This time it's different because BE has previous experience - memory - and if it can recover all of its memory, this is strong implication that BE is fundamentally a protodermic being even if it does not have a body. Again, points toward a relationship with Bhukasa.And Mukana also is struggling to utilize the sense of truth here. Now I'm beginning to see how deeply interwoven the Poetraxiens's philosophy (science?) is in this story! It'll be interesting to see how the spread of the tablet's words and meaning affects everyone - because I'm pretty sure it will spread despite Bhukasa's efforts to keep it secret. Or at least at some point he will let it become public knowledge. Could even be damaging to the Kuambu since they have a monopoly on memory.Memory, and the sea. Two things the Kuambu seemingly know everything about. Hmm. Does the sea itself hold memory? Is Blue Eyes the embodiment of the memory of the sea? Hmm.Chapter 28: First section makes me think that we need a Mask of Video Calling or something of the like. A more appropriate name may be Mask of Remote Vision or something like that. It'd essentially create a visible window through space that can only focus on a specific person who also has that Kanohi, just like Telecommunication can only focus on the voice of another user. The space portal itself would only allow light and sound to pass through, no other kind of matter or energy so it can't serve as an improbably convenient teleportation or item transfer method. And to keep Telecommunication relevant, this would naturally take more energy to maintain the connection, so that's the tradeoff. Think that's plausible in your universe? (Or has someone thought of this already?)Chapter 29: Ah, I don't know how to feel about the big reveal to Hujo of Mata Nui's true nature. Perhaps I cherish it so much as the grand finale of Bionicle (2009/10 notwithstanding) that I want it to come later. But it also makes sense to reveal it now for Hujo, and it still remains a great secret. You did the scene justice, at any rate!BE's story is getting really compelling now that it's starting to feel. And just now I noticed that you're using male pronouns, so I assume BE is indeed male? Edited September 4, 2012 by Takuta-Nui

[CyclonatorZ]

Chapter 29: Ah, I don't know how to feel about the big reveal to Hujo of Mata Nui's true nature. Perhaps I cherish it so much as the grand finale of Bionicle (2009/10 notwithstanding) that I want it to come later. But it also makes sense to reveal it now for Hujo, and it still remains a great secret. You did the scene justice, at any rate!

Well, considering all the deeper deviations from the official Bionicle universe Bonesiii has been hinting at (most notably, the revelation of Teridax's "True Plan" not being the canon Teridax's ultimate Plan), I think it's safe to say he has something much different and potentially bigger in store for the Paracosmos finale.

BE's story is getting really compelling now that it's starting to feel. And just now I noticed that you're using male pronouns, so I assume BE is indeed male?

Depending on who you ask, you might merely assume that he is using male pronouns by default because BE has no confirmed gender yet. I realize there's a lot of disagreement and controversy about this, but considering that there are very few gender-neutral pronouns in the english language (and none that can be used as easily as "he" or "she" without sounding awkward), some writers chose to use male pronouns when writing about such characters. Edited September 5, 2012 by ~~Zarkan~~

[Takuta-Nui]

Chapter 29: Ah, I don't know how to feel about the big reveal to Hujo of Mata Nui's true nature. Perhaps I cherish it so much as the grand finale of Bionicle (2009/10 notwithstanding) that I want it to come later. But it also makes sense to reveal it now for Hujo, and it still remains a great secret. You did the scene justice, at any rate!

Well, considering all the deeper deviations from the official Bionicle universe Bonesiii has been hinting at (most notably, the revelation of Teridax's "True Plan" not being the canon Teridax's ultimate Plan), I think it's safe to say he has something much different and potentially bigger in store for the Paracosmos finale.

BE's story is getting really compelling now that it's starting to feel. And just now I noticed that you're using male pronouns, so I assume BE is indeed male?

Depending on who you ask, you might merely assume that he is using male pronouns by default because BE has no confirmed gender yet. I realize there's a lot of disagreement and controversy about this, but considering that there are very few gender-neutral pronouns in the english language (and none that can be used as easily as "he" or "she" without sounding awkward), some writers chose to use male pronouns when writing about such characters.

Good point with Paracosmos Mata Nui. Thanks for reminding me that the Great Spirit is probably different in some ways there. I remember the Zone of Darkness Circles suggesting that his shape or such was different or at least not in the way we would expect. So there's definitely some surprises still to come!On the pronouns, I would argue that such gender-neutral pronouns certainly will never become easy to use in the English language until we actually start using them. It might be especially strange in Bionicle where gender has never actually mattered that much, but then it actually makes more sense to say xe and hir, or zie, or per, since he and she could arguably be the stranger pronouns to use in a Bionicle universe. But you're right that it's ultimately author discretion. Not sure how familiar bonesiii is with gender neutral pronouns or gender theory in general.Chapter 30:

A Toa of Water, he realized from some forgotten past.

Very telling. I believe this is the first time it has been implied that BE has a real, objective past, not simply natural knowledge.

So he began to try something he’d been vaguely wondering he if could do.

Accidentally a word. The description of the black wheel interior is strikingly reminiscent of the technic axle rods and ball joints. Brings back some memories! I also wonder if the resemblance was intentional. Being responsive only to Bhukasa's species' touch (or presence, since he didn't have to touch it to steer) reminds me of the sci-fi concept of an alien species developing technology that can only be used with their DNA, or biometric signature or what have you. Most recently seen in District 9 (film), but I think it made an early appearance in the Heechee Saga book series by Pohl. If you haven't read that one, borrow or buy it immediately! Classic sci-fi on the brink of modernism.I did expect that the Kuambu would have a way to prevent flooding. After all, rain would eventually accumulate otherwise (or especially high waves) and fill it up.Ok, not Gadunka. Krulak. I'm assuming these are from your contest. Gotta look that up again to remember what I can expect!What a good chapter, and what an ending! I'll be slower reviewing now that school is back in session, but trying to stick to one chapter a day until I catch up.

[bonesiii]

Chapter 47.Falling Sun is revised (though I'm sure I'll revise it more before posting, heh). Next I plan to proofread The Perfect Cage, so I can hopefully get posting it ASAP when EB is all up.

It's funny you say it that way, because from the begining, I had assumed that was always your intention.

Subconsciously I'm sure it was. What happened basically was that the three big questions for the "Sagas" to answer didn't match up with the villain finales. So to elaborate on that, you can divide up the series three ways; three Sagas based on the villains, or three major questions. In the second two Sagas the groupings are identical. In the first, the Rahunga Saga ended in CoT, the first question of What (chronoserum) was answered in TI.

Anyway, I just read chapter 45, and boy was I excited to finally see my final Blue MOCs winner featured. And only just now, after glancing back at the contrest entry photo, did I realize that it obscured the shoulder spike on one of the arms. Ah well, the asymetricality makes her more interesting in writing anyway. Also, I'm not sure if I have said this before or if it is true, but it occurs to me that sadly, I may be the only contest winner who survived the BZP downtime and is actually commenting on the resulting epic.

Which arm? I can edit.And much thanks for still being around. But hopefully others will come back later.

One last thing - were the blue creatures on the sea bottom Gadunka? I can't recall if they were amphibious.

The Krulak are amphibious, to be clear. Normally they swim. Gadunka are naturally much tinier BTW, BS01 says about an inch, but the Ignika enlarged the one in the story as a guardian. But this makes me think of something for the 07 story involving Gadunka that should be fun, heh.

Hold on, are they (Bhukasa and Taureko) speaking in English? If they can rhyme xiens and science, that has to be English, not Matoran, right? Or is this just a "translation" for us readers like Greg said he did in his writing?

Translated. Both this and the Unknown language are dialects of Matoran, but to a Matoran, this one would feel very familiar, while Unknown would feel exotic and very different, almost unintelligible. So I decided to show all the words whenever I show Unknown, but to translate this language to a made-up dialect of English to give it that feel. (And to make it feel different enough from Unknown; if I showed them both intact it would be very hard to tell the difference.)

It's delightful to read through the decoding of the poem! I'm curious, did you write it first with just a general idea of your intent, and then actually decode it yourself through the story, or did you built it piece by piece from bottom up?

Wrote it knowing what it meant, researching some etymology to have it have actual meaning related to English. (Later I had to change part of the endings system, though.) The translation works from notes I took on the etymologies as I was originally writing it.

The revelation that protodermic beings can recover all their memories (being constructed as machines with better functionality than evolved beings, although nobody here knows that yet, I think) is pretty cool. I think this might be related to your winning theory on the nature of protodermis. You made a whole diagram of the atomic structure and everything, and argued that there could essentially be only one type of protodermis that has a mechanism allowing it to "become" different substances. Almost a Bionicle equivalent of stem cells. Am I remembering that correctly? I'd love it if you could link me to that topic so I can re-read it, even if it's not relevant to this.

Yes, the basic idea I now usually call cyberclay; something like nanotechnology that projects powerful forcefields that mimic whatever physics are coded in the nanites. Also with an idea that they are "proto-alive" and life can be switched on to make them function like cells for organic protodermis.Here's that link: Dormant Cell / Energy Field Biotech -- Protodermis TheoryAnyways, I can't confirm or deny if this plays a role here. I may as well confirm that it I do use the cyberclay theory for Paracosmos protodermis, though. There's more revealed near the end of this story about the memory thing, so I'll wait to comment more till then.

Chapter 26: Crazy happenings on Kriitunga Island! The fact that there are eight of these horns (hey, eight...) suggests Kriitunga Island was built as a sort of defense base. For the Kuambu, ages ago, perhaps? Or Kriitunga ancestors? It seems designed as a long range defense because small ships can slip under it rather quickly, so I wonder if it was designed originally to ward off the Kuambu's larger ships. Krohlaba obviously nearly hits upon this possibility. Of course, I'm more interested in how Mhondoka met the Kuambu and gained this knowledge. That's the missing link that, once known, will reveal more about what the overarching plan is - and whether the Kuambu truly are on their side.

I can make a few comments without giving too much away methinks.First, Mhondomva's relationship with the Kuambu is very briefly mentioned again in The Perfect Cage. But I may as well say now that in-story I haven't really gone into how he got involved with them, just that he's been working with them for a long time. Some major clues about how Kuambu operate along these lines should become clear by the end of The Perfect Cage, though. I plan to reveal Mhondomva's original story in the Kuambu finale (though probably not from his own perspective).The fact that there are eight of these is important. Though I doubt anyone can yet see the chain of reasoning as to why. I can also confirm at least that Kriitunga and Kuambu are closely involved with each others' early history and that will come to a head in the finale. :)And yes, safe to assume the cannons are meant for larger ships like the Kuambu ones, not for smaller ones like Bhukasa's, as you say. They -could- get a good hit on even boats much smaller than Bhukasa's, though; keep in mind he pulled out all the stops to avoid destruction there. Depends on what those controlling the smaller boats would do. Plus, Krohlaba was intentionally interfering to aid them, though that only helped a tiny bit. But a larger ship like the Kuambu's would have great trouble moving fast enough to avoid the bolts. Of course, Kuambu ships could also teleport to safety if they had enough of that Kuamor type handy and acted fast enough.

But I don't know why I didn't see this before - BE is experiencing the Poetraxiens senses!

Yup.

Think that's plausible in your universe? (Or has someone thought of this already?)

There's the EM mask of Scrying that was recently approved. I guess it probably exists somewhere in the Paracosmos, but at the moment I don't plan to use it.

Ah, I don't know how to feel about the big reveal to Hujo of Mata Nui's true nature. Perhaps I cherish it so much as the grand finale of Bionicle (2009/10 notwithstanding) that I want it to come later. But it also makes sense to reveal it now for Hujo, and it still remains a great secret. You did the scene justice, at any rate!

I just want to be crytal clear -- the final words of the epilogue of Endless Blue reveal the nature of the BP version of the Matoran Universe. Which Hujo, and Bhukasa, will know at that time.My reasons for doing this now are many. It's been a tradition of mine to use canon secrets "early", such as Lewa in 2001 plot running into Kraata, or the Kal being freed early. Given that Hujo is a mapmaker who solves mysteries, I didn't think it would be plausible for the BPMU not to be figured out fairly early on. As the Unknown Somaihri mentioned when looking at a Brotherhood map, it's really quite obvious if you think about it. So I don't think I really -could- delay it. And I wanted it to be shown, not just deduced by Hujo, so that was why I came up with Caroha's method of showing it, starting with the canon version, then using an alternate Paracosmos to show it (but keeping the reader from knowing what he saw until the epilogue).Also, I really think it's the kind of answer that opens up so many important questions for later story that it'll help mystery rather than hurt it to come earlier, in this case. But I can't be more specific than that until it's up, etc. And you can rest assured there's much more still to be revealed, esp. for the final finale.

BE's story is getting really compelling now that it's starting to feel. And just now I noticed that you're using male pronouns, so I assume BE is indeed male?

At this point (where you are in the story) BE has decided that he must be male. There's more specifically about this in-story later, though, so read on for the full answer.

The description of the black wheel interior is strikingly reminiscent of the technic axle rods and ball joints. Brings back some memories! I also wonder if the resemblance was intentional.

Yes, though the system doesn't actually use connections like that, just shaped like it for fun in that case.

[Takuta-Nui]

Thanks for the explanation of your intention in revealing the Cosmos Mata Nui. I know you always have the best ambitions, but questioning at least keeps you on your toes and pushes you to improve wherever possible. ;)Here begins my attempt to review one chapter per day while school is light, so I just have to "worry" about one chapter per weekish.Chapter 31:

“I’m sorry. But you told me that other thing was true, has been for well over a thousand years.”

Hmm. Obvious correlation with Mata Nui's crash/sleep... I can't help but think of the sapphire hard drive that was announced recently - Google will tell you everything if you don't know of it, but if you don't know it, that sort of disproves my theory. But I wonder if Mata Nui's brain is the same sort of hard drive that can last for very long and is very durable. Why not call the chamber beneath Metru Nui a Sapphire Vault if that's the case? And there was a dead Glatorian there in the Cosmos, so Azh'yuuros may be your equivalent.Dang, intense scene between Tahu and Kanoka.Chapter 32: I think you need to update your Pronunciation Guide (it's only till Chapter 6!) for Shvontuk. I'm curious how to say that one in my head while reading. (Yeah, I do translate to phonics while reading sometimes, despite being Deaf. )Revelation of the Seahopper and its power was awesome. Sort of a distant cousin of the Soulsong Sphere in how it performed, though I imagine they aren't related. Could be a surprise there. But we have an interesting crossover here... the same yellow energy converting water to air and back is also used by the Kuambu? Perhaps a common technology like so many other things. Or did the Kuambu steal it from Bhukasa's people? Perhaps that's a part of how they went extinct? I also doubt the Kuambu really wanted to kill them - remember my lasting impression of them as classy villains - but they merely knew of the technology and were somehow completely certain Bhukasa would use it. (Then again, they might have taken a gamble without knowing it, not realizing that Bhukasa has lost his memory.)Seven hundred years in prison... shudder. A human would probably go "Mad," but this shows how different biomechanical minds are. If you know of the Infinity Blade game series on iOS, the main villains are the Deathless, who are practically immortal. One part described how one Deathless passes through time when there is nothing to do: they merely sink back into their mind and go into a sort of daydream. Completely aware of everything, and can think consciously, but time passes very quickly for them. Would you think something like that is possible for biomechanical beings here, or would it have happened to Bhukasa?

Since he couldn’t decide what to do about Kanoka, he’d ended up carrying his indecision with him. Literally.

So nice when a story takes this direction.Now we know about Toggler then... the Toggler of now remains to be seen.Chapter 33: Thrilling vivid description of the power of the Level 3 Btou Staff!The shape of the Paracosmos Matoran Universe? Oh man. Oh man oh man oh man. Putting us right in Hujo's mind and saying that it's completely sensible, just shocking that he never thought of it before, is the worst tease ever!

But what it must have taken to make it this way!

Grabbing onto this for reference... seems important because it's actually so ambiguous. Does he mean what it took to cause such a modification during the Event? Or does Hujo realize that this was something that occurred AFTER the Event - a consequence of something altered within the Event? Some kind of mutation? Yet even that seems too complicated when this revelation emphasized the simple. Hmm. I'll probably be coming back to this section for many epics to come!Ahh, one more Twisted Island loose end tied up. How long have they been waiting there? Where are we in the timeline since the end of TI?Ah, another Rockswimmer Squid. I quite liked that creation of yours!Chapter 34: A sort of secondary ability of the Oru-Vortixx is that their accuracy doesn't only apply to their projectiles, but also to their own bodies if they are travelling through the air like that. Cool.The Shvontuk have evolved a neat survival ability thanks to their destiny Kuamor power. Knife-Tail's decision to run afterward reminds me of the Puppeteers from Larry Niven's science fiction; they evolved to be the most cowardly race in the galaxy since that ensured the greatest number would survive.Absolutely epic convergeance for Lewa's freedom from the Krana. Clearly the Oru-Vortixx misjudged how much of the hivemind they needed to keep the Toa half under control. And Lewa's advice to the Le-Matoran was powerful because it shows his growing wisdom. He thought of their long-term interest rather than rashly saving everything right away. Surkahi should be pleased.Bhukasa's returning memories are really enjoyable to read. A good reward for making it this far in the story! There's always been an obvious possibility that Bhukasa's people aren't extinct. (How do we know they didn't just flee in those ships to the other side of the planet?) We don't know the details yet, so... that's still on the table.Chapter 35: I think that this chapter of sweeping back the memories really gives some meaning to Bhukasa's uncontrollable sadness. The memories themselves are just simply sad, and there's so much still unresolved. Very good indirect pathos.Chapter 36: My comments are getting shorter, I think because more answers are coming now. Tyaagko's story is incomplete, but what is there is very compelling. And Rathoa's loss of certainty is also a major change in his character story. Just having a good time reading right now! Edited September 16, 2012 by Takuta-Nui

[bonesiii]

Here's Chapter 48.

Hmm. Obvious correlation with Mata Nui's crash/sleep... I can't help but think of the sapphire hard drive that was announced recently - Google will tell you everything if you don't know of it, but if you don't know it, that sort of disproves my theory. But I wonder if Mata Nui's brain is the same sort of hard drive that can last for very long and is very durable. Why not call the chamber beneath Metru Nui a Sapphire Vault if that's the case? And there was a dead Glatorian there in the Cosmos, so Azh'yuuros may be your equivalent.

Another brilliant theory that I can safely nuke. The wording was "well over a thousand years." That thing did not become true a thousand years ago, but well before that. So it can't be Mata Nui's crash/sleep. Also I didn't know of it. Must go read about this... >_> *consults almighty google* Cool...Anywho...

I think you need to update your Pronunciation Guide (it's only till Chapter 6!) for Shvontuk. I'm curious how to say that one in my head while reading. (Yeah, I do translate to phonics while reading sometimes, despite being Deaf. )

Rightly... will try to get to it soonishish. I believe I did include the pronunciation for that in the slideshow file from the contest results. (He was the first slide, if I recall right... lemme just dig it up now though to see how I spelled it... Eh, it wasn't a complete pronunciation.)Shonvtuk -- shvahn-took (as in the English word took, or book)And while I'm at it, it was Udmijok I was thinking of that I explained on that slide; here it is finished:Udmijok -- ood-mee-jahk (Ud rhymes with good, and the “j” is only a slightly pronounced “eej” sound, so it sounds a bit like Udmyok)

If you know of the Infinity Blade game series on iOS, the main villains are the Deathless, who are practically immortal. One part described how one Deathless passes through time when there is nothing to do: they merely sink back into their mind and go into a sort of daydream. Completely aware of everything, and can think consciously, but time passes very quickly for them. Would you think something like that is possible for biomechanical beings here, or would it have happened to Bhukasa?

I think it's possible but I would ascribe a different meaning and purpose to such a thing, along the lines of "game face" with for example Olympic sports, that wouldn't necessarily be about the passage of time but about heightened performance. It's actually kinda possible (as you worded it) for humans and I do it all the time. :PBut as for long times, I think it would just be more relative to their longer lifespans. In this case, I think a few hundred years in a prison where you do have plenty of food growing on the trees and you can at least construct your own home and the like might not be that bad (compared to just a few hundred years for Taureko in the Field of Shadow, which was very draining even for him). After a while though I think what would really get to you is the idea really sinking in that you're not getting out; nothing's working. Actually part of the reason I have the Kuambu design these prisons this way is the open-air look of it gives the impression that freedom is within grasp which keeps their prisoner sane for much longer (even if it does risk them actually escaping).

Thrilling vivid description of the power of the Level 3 Btou Staff!

Really glad you like it. That was actually one of the only things in this epic that I actually planned back in the early years of Bionicle, heh. (2002 I believe.)

Grabbing onto this for reference... seems important because it's actually so ambiguous. Does he mean what it took to cause such a modification during the Event? Or does Hujo realize that this was something that occurred AFTER the Event - a consequence of something altered within the Event? Some kind of mutation? Yet even that seems too complicated when this revelation emphasized the simple. Hmm. I'll probably be coming back to this section for many epics to come!

I can answer part of this actually, which is that when the Event happened in Cosmos-time, the effect of it, when Caroha appeared in the Paracosmos at the same point in time, traveled backwards to the root of time (though how far back that is I haven't specified) so that a whole history for the Paracosmos was generated. Somewhere I have mentioned this previously, I believe (I think in the original Tapestry topic, since the banner image in that version of the collection topic illustrated the timelines including this feature). So, the Event indirectly caused this, but something within history actually directly caused it. Can't comment more clearly until after the epilogue.

Ahh, one more Twisted Island loose end tied up. How long have they been waiting there? Where are we in the timeline since the end of TI?

EB begins on the same day as TI's epilogue, almost immediately, since Surkahi had spotted the Kuambu fleet sailing towards Mata Nui in TI (from a point between it and Kriitunga Island) and it arrives at the start of EB. So however many days after that in EB's story (which I forget off the top of my head ).

Ah, another Rockswimmer Squid. I quite liked that creation of yours!

Cool. This is, in fact, the native home of that Rahi type.

The Shvontuk have evolved a neat survival ability thanks to their destiny Kuamor power. Knife-Tail's decision to run afterward reminds me of the Puppeteers from Larry Niven's science fiction; they evolved to be the most cowardly race in the galaxy since that ensured the greatest number would survive.

Interesting connection. I vaguely recall those from a collection of Hugo winning stories I've read. Yeah, it's similar. Of course, if I was facing Rockswimmer Squids I would run too lol.

Absolutely epic convergeance for Lewa's freedom from the Krana. Clearly the Oru-Vortixx misjudged how much of the hivemind they needed to keep the Toa half under control. And Lewa's advice to the Le-Matoran was powerful because it shows his growing wisdom. He thought of their long-term interest rather than rashly saving everything right away. Surkahi should be pleased.

[Takuta-Nui]

On Azh'yuuros' secret job - if the event from before Mata Nui's crash/sleep is a part of official canon, I won't be able to remember it. Hasn't been that long since I was immersed in the storyline, but I have learned and lived a lot in a short time, so it may as well have been years! Perhaps I'll clue in later if I re-read the timelines and some articles on BS01.Thanks for the pronunciations. Makes sense for the Kuambu to make prisons this way; I didn't think of that. On Mata Nui's Paracosmos Form, I remember the history-producing effect of the Event, yes. In a way this makes it more difficult to figure out, since it would be a 'natural' consequence of history, which is often hidden as an ordinary fact of life so it's overlooked. I don't know if this means anything, but I keep thinking that Mata Nui's form must not be humanoid in the Paracosmos. But what else could it be?Chapter 37: Still more great storytelling. Good emotion with Hujo - which was still in character - and reminded me of The Poseidon Adventure with the sense of vast loss. Also, I think I notice here that you've eased back on the mystery-dropping, and focusing on building action toward the climax. It feels like a much more definite phase shift where the reader can simply enjoy reading while continuing to work on the established mysteries. Hope that was your intention with the format of EB.Chapter 38: Good to get back in touch with all the groups. That was a clever plot ruse to get Niaka away from the group so that Tahu could finally contact them. Also, your portrayal of Tyaagko is really spot-on. His reaction to Udmijok speaking reminded me of the Redead from Wind Waker (Zelda game) - if Link walked nearby, it'd turn its face with black eyes toward him but not move otherwise. Very creepy.

His mask was shaped like a Mask of Light, and he took it seriously.

Ooh. I don't think the Avohkii is recognized by anyone on Mata Nui (besides Unknown) yet, so that's a neat thing to throw out there early on.Oh my goodness. Blue Eyes is Hujo. I didn't see this coming, and yet it makes sense. I could have figured this out a couple of chapters back, but I wasn't focused on that mystery anymore. Oh well - the reveal shall come next chapter! Edited September 19, 2012 by Takuta-Nui

[atvan]

So this whole Red Star thing screws up the shaking dimension, doesn't it? Or does Caroha not know about the resurection thing (I would assume she does).

Edited September 20, 2012 by atvan

[Takuta-Nui]

Chapter 39: Battle of minds, desire for existence and safety and return... this doesn't get easy for anyone!

Therefore some chronoserum could mix lightly with any water, and Hujo’s mind could bridge the gap of dimensions between any particle of chronoserum in the Paracosmos. Everywhere BE had appeared, there must have been a trace of chronoserum mixed in the water.

Well, that's the coolest thing ever.Wow, amazing plan being put into motion. Hujo clearly has learned an important lesson of a Mapmaker - when you have no more ink to draw your map, reuse the ink from what you already have drawn! Using the chronoserum to contain an Event in a Circle in order to create a new home is probably one of the most audacious things ever. Caroha will definitely have fits.Chapter 40: (Almost caught up, should be just in time for the finale!)Ohh. Should have foreseen that Caroha intended all of this. I even remarked on her apparent strategy of bringing Hujo under her (benevolent) control... should have occurred to me, especially since she handled those creatures so easily before. I feel silly. =PLove the controls for the Seahopper. Some of them are standard enough, but I'm curious how you came up with the underwater dome power. Reminds me of when I'd play with a cup in the bathtub as a kid and hold air underneath it while submerging it!

Rain cascaded around everything, sending elegantly curving trails of water rolling of Bohrok armor as they flew around.

Think that should be "rolling off of"?The final battle approaches...Chapter 41: I see the plan to sink the Lone Ship. We never did clarify how far those blasts can travel before losing their energy, though. Hopefully they are as powerful as they seemed to be last time! Although if the Kuambu worked with Mhondomva, we don't know that they haven't planted detectors at each of the horns that would alert them to whenever they're used. Or even using a dual system with one on their ships that alerts them when their ship has been targeted.Didn't expect that outcome, though. Brilliant. Edited September 23, 2012 by Takuta-Nui

[fishers64]

Okay, bones, I'm back. Spoilering for the sake of Takuta-Nui:

I reread this entire story again, and I'm glad I did. This story has a lot of depth to it, so looking at it with fresh eyes was a real help. That's a advantage of a more complex story like this - you can put in a lot of layers of detail and meaning, and it is entertaining to peel them back, knowing that I can't reach the bottom of those layers yet. So congratulations. :)Pirate problem above: fixed. Problem lay with fishers the reader, not bones the writer, and I cleared it up.

BTW, the astute reader may be able to form an accurate theory as to how those teleporters select the destinations by now.

Well, I'm not very astute. But I did look into this: all of the items teleported were teleported into underground caves on islands, and I have a hunch that those caves are following some sort of line, like on a map. Other than that I get nothing.Which leads me to believe that the Lantern that the Toa found and put together was not teleported when the Unknown city sank, but was there all along on Mata Nui. This is because the Lantern parts were not found in an underground cave. From Chapter 43:Theory: the Lantern cannot be teleported. This is because when Bhukasa tried to teleport, his lantern hand hurt, and the power failed. Is the orb tech on the eggcraft (chapter 6) the same as the tech in Bhukasa's lantern? Chapters 44-46 didn't really stand out to me for theories or criticism. I like those kind of chapters, where there is a bunch of action and lots of unusual and unexpected things happening rapidly. But they were just...sad. The bad guys were winning, as they were (mostly) for the previous 43 chapters, and by this time I'm looking for a light at the end of the tunnel, can't find it, see a glimmer on the tunnel wall...And then chapter 47 dragged badly. Running...running, distractions...and now we'll try something. I have a theory on that, through...read on!I think the end of Chapter 47 was the lowest point in the whole thing. Hujo and Bhukasa, so sad. Bhukasa out. Hujo in the middle of a desolate wasteland. If you were going for a feeling of depression and hopelessness there, you got it.And then Chapter 48 was awesome. :DI applaud your decision to put it all there instead of splitting it up into two chapters, because once the good guys start winning, it's just something the reader can't put down and you have to semi-resolve it. I know that if you broke off that sequence in the middle I would have been annoyed, because the good guys winning made me want to read more, and more, and more and if there wasn't more, I would have been unhappy.Thoughts:Theory: The Seahopper's black metal room is powered by the trace amounts of chonoseurum found in the Paracosmos ocean water. Without said power source it no longer functions.Theory: Chonoseurum is soluble in water, and thus is present, in extremely fine amounts, in the clouds above.How does Niaka know where to go to CHECK after ending up on the pirate ship? If Tahu told her, how did he know?

Poetraxiens Makuta Spirah

This would be a very interesting poem, as Makuta Spiriah hardly seems poetic and his science experiments failed. Also makes me wonder why the Kuambu thought this particular individual was worthy of a poem. Is there a Poetraxiens Bhukasa? Hujo? Caroha?

Azh’yuuros picked him up and carried him back, flailing his limbs wildly.

Might be worded better as "his limbs flailing wildly", bones, as I don't think Azh' yuuros has a flail or intention of harming Korau.For a sea story, bones, I'm surprised at how many flying things you have in here. Itu's bird (which is apparently big enough to carry a not-exactly-small snow lizard), the Unknown zoocraft, Hujo's suit, Toa Tyaako, Azh'yuuros (briefly), the pirate ship, and now the ferry, too. Is the way to beat the Kuambu to fly?Itu's bird doesn't sound big enough to carry Bhukasa from when it was first described. How big is that thing?And lastly, the "wave of memory" that hits Bhukasa at the end of 48 looks like the real wave that comes after Bhukasa's ship in chapter 4. That wave Bhukasa saw in chapter 4 looked like it had sapphire bricks on it. Does that indicate that the Sapphire vault that Azh'yuuros was guarding has something to do with memory? Like storing Matoran universe memories or something?* * * On chapter 47:Are you familiar with mindspeed theory, bones? Because I note several references to it in here, at least on a rudimental level. If you're not, it's the theory that people's thoughts move at different rates compared to time - "Suzie thinks faster than Sally."It seems to me that thoughts don't come quickly to Bhukasa; that he doesn't think very fast. Hujo, by contrast, is supposed to be a high-speed thinker. Is that what you had in mind?:)The pace of your story brings this out in the individual character threads. In the beginning, the slow pace fits Bhukasa well, but Hujo's POV drags. At the end, Hujo's POV fits well with the pace, but Bhukasa's POV drags and slows down the story. Until I get to Chapter 48. I'm not sure how you did it, but Bhukasa fit in that fast-paced chapter wonderfully. Consider 48 a success. You have done well there. ***It seems to me that thoughts don't come quickly to Bhukasa; that he doesn't think very fast. But when Bhukasa does think, he always manages to hit the nail on the head - or as close as he can get. He has problems with his memory and comes up with theories on occasion...And I wonder why Bhukasa reminds me of bonesiii. I probably should not speculate along these lines, but sometimes things that remind us of ourselves, or at least qualities in ourselves that we don't like, we tend to avoid. And then I saw you avoid writing about him. Makes me wonder how far the similarity goes. (If there is one; maybe my mind is off, and if so I apologize.)