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The Eleventh Hour - Review Topic

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223 replies to this topic

#121 Offline Lincoln Lee

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Posted Jul 12 2012 - 11:35 AM

And that was the only thing I remembered from that summary. :P

Better a little than nothing at all. :lol:

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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

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"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#122 Offline Doctor J. Wotzon

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Posted Jul 27 2012 - 05:58 AM

Bit 1: Okay, Aclaraung bringing Inc close, but not to, the final battle doesn't help my image of him as Odahviing.Bit 2: I told you Nikarra's mean.Bit 3: I suppose Reich doesn't deserve any dignity, and will die without it?Bit 4: Inc's really changed if he doesn't want to make a new friend.Bit 5: This must be the dialogue you spoke of. I suppose it had to be done to advance the plot.
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#123 Offline Lincoln Lee

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Posted Jul 27 2012 - 05:59 AM

Bit 1: Okay, Aclaraung bringing Inc close, but not to, the final battle doesn't help my image of him as Odahviing.Bit 2: I told you Nikarra's mean.Bit 3: I suppose Reich doesn't deserve any dignity, and will die without it?Bit 4: Inc's really changed if he doesn't want to make a new friend.Bit 5: This must be the dialogue you spoke of. I suppose it had to be done to advance the plot.

1: I don't care. He's Aclaraung. Not a Skyrim dragon.2: This is a different Nikarra.3: Wait and see.4: Indeed he has.5: It is, yeah. But I liked Arkrak's line.

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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

marked.png

"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#124 Offline Scratch

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Posted Jul 27 2012 - 09:44 AM

Brilliance. Pure brilliance! I'm looking forward to what Nikarra knows...
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Now fades the great harvest of my betrayal...


#125 Offline Lincoln Lee

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Posted Jul 27 2012 - 01:42 PM

Brilliance. Pure brilliance! I'm looking forward to what Nikarra knows...

Thankyou, Scratch. http://www.bzpower.c...tyle_emoticons/default/cool.png- Vorex

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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

marked.png

"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#126 Offline Excelsior

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Posted Jul 27 2012 - 07:04 PM

Well, here I am again.It's always- never mind, I'm going to cut off that reference right now.I was planning to catch up on this when your PM reminded me. Probably not its intended purpose, but it worked. :PAnyway, comments:1. I see from his conversation with Aru (who apparently managed to keep up with the giant flying dragon - impressive!), that Inc continues to get darker.But not too dark to appreciate his dragon ride! There's still plenty of classic Incommodo in here.2.(Oh, and just BTW, this phrase struck me as awkward: Aru stood thoughtfully for around a second. It sounds like "Aru stood around," and just doesn't seem to describe her action very well. I would suggest something more like "Aru paused thoughtfully for a moment." Of course, some of that is just personal preference, but I thought I'd mention it. That's what review topics are meant for, right?)3.I have to admit, I'm puzzled by the identity of the 'snake.' Who here talks in bold...?4.And the Apocalypse Team is now six, it would seem. (Speaking of which... why is Proditor's first move on seeing Inc to "reach for his sword"? Well, okay, he may have thought it was some evil thing pretending to be Inc. Maybe.)5.How does Nikarra know Aru? Are we supposed to not know that, or did I just forget?6.Oh, and for the record, I like the dialogue. Besides advancing the plot, it lightens things up. We may in the middle of the apocalypse, but that's no reason to lose your sense of humor! Unless you're Incommodo, that is. Then, yes, probably losing your sense of humor right about now.(Huh. I think this is my shortest review yet.)-Excelsior
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The Toa Ekara - Visions A short story. Ga-Koro Mobs My entry for the LSO Comedies Contest. Team Extempore's entry for the LSO Epics Contest


#127 Offline Lincoln Lee

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Posted Jul 28 2012 - 03:25 AM

Oh how we laughed and laughed...Yeah... intended purpose... http://www.bzpower.c...tyle_emoticons/default/sarcastic.gif1: Yep, Inc's still getting darker.2: Indeed it is, and I'll keep that in mind.3: Dark Mirror: Part I. The mirror scenes with Reich.4: Proditor's first reaction to everything is to reach for his sword. Seriously, look back, it's true. :P5: Some of you might know it, but the epics haven't explained it yet.6: Thankyou. :lol:(it is, yeah)-Vorex
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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

marked.png

"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#128 Online Purple God

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Posted Jul 28 2012 - 06:42 AM

Well, the newest chapter was too fast-paced for my liking. Every thing happened much too quickly, and Reich joining the group seemed rather random. The combat was somewhat hard to get into as well.But hey, plot development.
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~Prepare to fight — for, evidently, you have found peace intolerable.~


#129 Offline Doctor J. Wotzon

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Posted Jul 28 2012 - 10:30 AM

The 'Line-Creepers' joke made me cringe. It works for Reichenbach because his name is frequently mispronounced, but Time Keepers is very simple and easy to understand, making Proditor just look like a fool.On the other hand, Pirok roundhouse kicking Laz shows how epic and deserving of a fanclub he is.I don't get why Reich is suddenly helping them. Ever since Sonic 06 I've been really cautious about good guy-bad guy team-ups.
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#130 Offline Lincoln Lee

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Posted Jul 28 2012 - 10:35 AM

Well, the newest chapter was too fast-paced for my liking. Every thing happened much too quickly, and Reich joining the group seemed rather random. The combat was somewhat hard to get into as well.But hey, plot development.

PLOT DEVELOPMENT.

The 'Line-Creepers' joke made me cringe. It works for Reichenbach because his name is frequently mispronounced, but Time Keepers is very simple and easy to understand, making Proditor just look like a fool.On the other hand, Pirok roundhouse kicking Laz shows how epic and deserving of a fanclub he is.I don't get why Reich is suddenly helping them. Ever since Sonic 06 I've been really cautious about good guy-bad guy team-ups.

It's Proditor's idea of a joke, something that decreases the value of things other people have said. So, he mocks it.Pirok may deserve a fanclub.No idea what Sonic 06 is, and Reichenbach never does anything without a reason.- Vorex

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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

marked.png

"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#131 Offline Doctor J. Wotzon

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Posted Jul 28 2012 - 10:38 AM

It's Proditor's idea of a joke, something that decreases the value of things other people have said. So, he mocks it.Pirok may deserve a fanclub.No idea what Sonic 06 is, and Reichenbach never does anything without a reason.- Vorex

I thought Proditor was meant to be funny :(YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESSonic 06 is basically the worst Sonic game of all time.

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#132 Offline Lincoln Lee

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Posted Jul 28 2012 - 10:41 AM

It's Proditor's idea of a joke, something that decreases the value of things other people have said. So, he mocks it.Pirok may deserve a fanclub.No idea what Sonic 06 is, and Reichenbach never does anything without a reason.- Vorex

I thought Proditor was meant to be funny :(YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESSonic 06 is basically the worst Sonic game of all time.

Proditor, while often funny, is also cruel.Maybe when all the epics are done. But the Pirok fans (hopefully) will not be disappointed.Understood.- Vorex

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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

marked.png

"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#133 Offline Scratch

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Posted Jul 28 2012 - 02:59 PM

Ok, first... CALLED IT!Second, so know we have 3 of the Time-Keepers assembled, with one other being the ultimate antagonist at this point. Here hoping more amazing plot development!-Scratch
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Now fades the great harvest of my betrayal...


#134 Offline Lincoln Lee

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Posted Jul 28 2012 - 03:13 PM

Ok, first... CALLED IT!Second, so know we have 3 of the Time-Keepers assembled, with one other being the ultimate antagonist at this point. Here hoping more amazing plot development!-Scratch

:lol:Well, there'll certainly be more plot development. Whether or not it's amazing really depends on all of your personal opinions. :P- Vorex

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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

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"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#135 Online Purple God

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Posted Jul 29 2012 - 03:04 AM

Wotz, don't even mention Sonic 2006. That does not exist.Anyway Vorex, any chances of the next chapter being longer and fleshing out the characters more? Along with more Plot Development?
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~Prepare to fight — for, evidently, you have found peace intolerable.~


#136 Offline Lincoln Lee

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Posted Jul 29 2012 - 04:57 AM

Wotz, don't even mention Sonic 2006. That does not exist.Anyway Vorex, any chances of the next chapter being longer and fleshing out the characters more? Along with more Plot Development?

Next chapter is going to be longer, and I'm hoping for a good bit of fleshing out. And there's always plot development. :P- Vorex

  • 0

Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

marked.png

"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#137 Offline Scratch

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Posted Jul 29 2012 - 01:43 PM

Wotz... No. Just.... No
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Now fades the great harvest of my betrayal...


#138 Offline Lincoln Lee

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Posted Jul 29 2012 - 01:45 PM

Wotz... No. Just.... No

Alright, people, back on topic, let's stop dissing something we'd all much rather pretend doesn't exist in the first place.- Vorex

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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

marked.png

"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#139 Offline The Otter

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Posted Aug 01 2012 - 06:43 PM

I'm not surprised that Aru kept up with Aclaraung, she's smaller and lighter and can still fly. :PAlso...I still think there's too much dialogue, but meh. Inc's getting darker and darker.I can't wait to see what happens from that.@Wotz: Aclaraung=/=Odahviing.Aclaraung is much cooler.
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#140 Online Purple God

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Posted Aug 01 2012 - 09:52 PM

You're only here for Accy and not the plot aren't you?
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~Prepare to fight — for, evidently, you have found peace intolerable.~


#141 Offline The Otter

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Posted Aug 01 2012 - 10:20 PM

I'm here for both.But we can obviously tell which of the two I'm more likely to comment on.And don't call him Accy. >.<
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#142 Offline Lincoln Lee

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Posted Aug 02 2012 - 08:26 AM

I'm not surprised that Aru kept up with Aclaraung, she's smaller and lighter and can still fly. :PAlso...I still think there's too much dialogue, but meh. Inc's getting darker and darker.I can't wait to see what happens from that.@Wotz: Aclaraung=/=Odahviing.Aclaraung is much cooler.

True dat.The last chapter consisted almost completely of action....*facepalm*

You're only here for Accy and not the plot aren't you?

My thoughts exactly.

I'm here for both.But we can obviously tell which of the two I'm more likely to comment on.And don't call him Accy. >.<

The plot. Of course. :sly:- Vorex

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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

marked.png

"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#143 Offline Doctor J. Wotzon

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Posted Aug 03 2012 - 12:47 PM

Bit 1: *Dark Knight theme*Bit 2:

"Aru still exists physically, but only as a corpse."

Har har.Oh, and plot/character development hooray.

Someone: Who killed all the Shades?Incommodo: Who do you think?

Bit 3: "We need target practice" *stabs him*Lulwut?Bit 4: When New Atero is... Ashes... You have my permission to die.Also I really want some wild Rahkshi to turn up and do stuff.

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not a lot of things match my avatar


#144 Offline The Otter

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Posted Aug 03 2012 - 12:51 PM

OohAru is dead nowButPossessedCoooooool.
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#145 Offline Lincoln Lee

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Posted Aug 03 2012 - 12:59 PM

@Wotz: Before I get to commenting on your review, I have one thing to say:You've been watching too much Batman.1: :P2: I rather enjoyed having Inc throw Reich out the window.3: Nekron's just that kinda guy.4: Glad you caught the little reference. :lol:Maybe later.@Kal: Well, she was posessed for a while, but now she's just a corpse.- Vorex
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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

marked.png

"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#146 Offline Scratch

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Posted Aug 04 2012 - 07:02 AM

First off... ARU, NOOOOO!!!!!Now that that's over, I love this darker, smart-alec Incommodo. He reminds me of me when I'm a bit ticked off.Poor Reichenbach. Only trying to help and Inc throws him out a window.Wow. Who knew a Shadow could be so harsh? XDWow. Pirok... Thats a bit harsh, but I suppose its true. The comedic, bright-minded Inc doesn't exist anymore. But just how far will Pirok follow before he decides that it isn't worth it any longer?Looking forward to wait I'm assuming marks the end of Part I (Its getting to the storm...)-Scratch
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Now fades the great harvest of my betrayal...


#147 Offline Lincoln Lee

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Posted Aug 04 2012 - 09:21 AM

First off... ARU, NOOOOO! !!!!Now that that's over, I love this darker, smart-alec Incommodo. He reminds me of me when I'm a bit ticked off.Poor Reichenbach. Only trying to help and Inc throws him out a window.Wow. Who knew a Shadow could be so harsh? XDWow. Pirok... Thats a bit harsh, but I suppose its true. The comedic, bright-minded Inc doesn't exist anymore. But just how far will Pirok follow before he decides that it isn't worth it any longer?Looking forward to wait I'm assuming marks the end of Part I (Its getting to the storm...)-Scratch

It's too late for Aru, now...He doesn't remind me of anyone in particular. Although I drew some inspiration from The Doctor in A Good Man Goes to War.Well, if you could call the 'Come to the Dark Side' speech 'help', then yeah. :PNekron's no ordinary Shadow.Pirok's a hero, he doesn't care if he's fighting a lost battle, because if he doesn't no-one else is going to.Wait and see, Scratch, wait and see...- Vorex

  • 0

Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

marked.png

"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#148 Offline Scratch

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Posted Aug 13 2012 - 03:35 PM

First off... WHOA!Inc, what happened? I never expected Inc to threaten Frustro, especially not with a graphic and physical example of violence.Vorex on the move! Things are going downhill. We just have to find the Ta-Matoran...Things seem to be taking an explosive spiral downward for Incommodo and his group, but how will it all end?-Scratch
  • 0

Now fades the great harvest of my betrayal...


#149 Offline Lincoln Lee

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Posted Aug 13 2012 - 03:39 PM

First off... WHOA!Inc, what happened? I never expected Inc to threaten Frustro, especially not with a graphic and physical example of violence.Vorex on the move! Things are going downhill. We just have to find the Ta-Matoran...Things seem to be taking an explosive spiral downward for Incommodo and his group, but how will it all end?-Scratch

Threatening Frustro was the quickest way for him to get through that, and they were running out of time.Indeed they do.I'm not telling you that. At least, not here. :P- Vorex

  • 0

Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

marked.png

"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#150 Offline Doctor J. Wotzon

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Posted Aug 13 2012 - 03:54 PM

Bit 1: Darkommodo :oNow Pirok's taken over the 'in charge and Doctor-y' role :PBit 2:

Instead, he was outside on the street, looking out as the sun rose up–But it was too early to be dawn, the sun wasn’t green, and last time he had checked there had only been one of them.

I love how Arkrak's mind works.Bit 3:

“My apologies. Right body, wrong time.”

WHAT IS THIS SORCERYBit 4: So shadows can't pass through trapdoors? D:

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not a lot of things match my avatar


#151 Offline Lincoln Lee

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Posted Aug 13 2012 - 03:57 PM

Bit 1: Darkommodo :oNow Pirok's taken over the 'in charge and Doctor-y' role :PBit 2:

Instead, he was outside on the street, looking out as the sun rose up–But it was too early to be dawn, the sun wasn’t green, and last time he had checked there had only been one of them.

I love how Arkrak's mind works.Bit 3:

“My apologies. Right body, wrong time.”

WHAT IS THIS SORCERYBit 4: So shadows can't pass through trapdoors? D:

Pirok's always been in charge. Incommodo just hasn't noticed yet. http://www.bzpower.c...tyle_emoticons/default/cool.pngDon't we all? :PHehehe... :evilgrin:Nekron's inside Pulse's corpse, and he could easily get through the trapdoor if he wanted to -- he decided to wait.- Vorex

  • 0

Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

marked.png

"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#152 Offline Doctor J. Wotzon

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Posted Aug 13 2012 - 04:01 PM

Someone make some Pirok banners already.
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not a lot of things match my avatar


#153 Offline Lincoln Lee

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Posted Aug 13 2012 - 04:03 PM

Someone make some Pirok banners already.

I'm working on a scene parodying Queen in Bohemian Rhapsody with Apocalypse Team in it, give me a little more time. :lol:- Vorex

  • 0

Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

marked.png

"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#154 Offline The Otter

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Posted Aug 13 2012 - 05:13 PM

A Bohemian Rhapsody thing?That and Dark Incommodo shall be the things that continue to make this epic interesting.And Nekron's rampant possessing of random people.I also say you should have Aclaraung jump in to help people out with whatever's happening. xP
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#155 Offline Lincoln Lee

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Posted Aug 14 2012 - 04:38 AM

Thankyou, Kal. :PWell, he does that. :lol:Ssh!!! :fear:- Vorex
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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

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"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

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slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#156 Offline Doctor J. Wotzon

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Posted Aug 15 2012 - 02:00 PM

Bit 1: How did the Ta-Matoran go from being cool to a dusty bloke in a tunnel? :( (rhetorical question FYI)I'm still slightly confused as to whether the BOOMtoran and the Ta-Matoran are the same person.Bit 2: I love how Pirok is just like 'screw it he'll be fine'.Bit 3: Nothing to see here.Bit 4: Ooh, moral conundrum.But was it really necessary to have the whole 'earlier' thing?
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not a lot of things match my avatar


#157 Offline Lincoln Lee

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Posted Aug 15 2012 - 02:04 PM

Bit 1: How did the Ta-Matoran go from being cool to a dusty bloke in a tunnel? :( (rhetorical question FYI)I'm still slightly confused as to whether the BOOMtoran and the Ta-Matoran are the same person.Bit 2: I love how Pirok is just like 'screw it he'll be fine'.Bit 3: Nothing to see here.Bit 4: Ooh, moral conundrum.But was it really necessary to have the whole 'earlier' thing?

1: Several months in a cave does that to you.2: Hey, that's Pirok.3: You sure?4: Moral Conundrum Cliffhanger.I had to put it in to have everything I wanted there, as it was originally that part and then the Rahkshi, skipping out Pirok on the other side altogether, but I rearranged it all to provide a little cliffhanger.- Vorex

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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

marked.png

"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#158 Offline Doctor J. Wotzon

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Posted Aug 15 2012 - 02:12 PM

1: Several months in a cave does that to you.3: You sure?- Vorex

1: Thanks for answering my queries about the BOOMtoran >:(3: Oh, right erm... *thinks of an excuse* I was being sarcastic :P

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not a lot of things match my avatar


#159 Offline Lincoln Lee

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Posted Aug 15 2012 - 02:15 PM

1: Several months in a cave does that to you.3: You sure?- Vorex

1: Thanks for answering my queries about the BOOMtoran http://www.bzpower.c...tyle_emoticons/default/mad.gif3: Oh, right erm... *thinks of an excuse* I was being sarcastic :P

1: It's the same guy.3: Suuuure. :sly:- Vorex

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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

marked.png

"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#160 Offline Scratch

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Posted Aug 16 2012 - 09:24 PM

... No comment...Having a mental conundrum trying to contain the whole story and its turns...Trying to determine what Inc will do......-Scratch
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Now fades the great harvest of my betrayal...





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