Oh my god! You have to help out a friend without getting something in return! How HORRIBLE!

Kids these days.

Oh you whacky kids and your monetary gratification.

Isn't making a friend happy enough?

I suspect you guys might feel different if you had to do this sort of thing for free yourselves. =P

Once people find out that I study photography they ask me to takes pictures of events all the time for no pay. I do it happily for three reasons.

1. It shows they think I take good pictures

2. They're friends and when I make them happy I feel happy.

3. when you missed the last bus to get back to town and your in the middle of no where and night is coming calling someone to pick you up and saying "Hey remember how I shot your quinceanera for free, well could you do me a favor as a friend and pick me up?" works much better then "hey remember how I shot your quinceanera for 200 dollars?"

Only doing things for money shows greed, which in my opinion is the worst trait.

Um quick question, if she's your friend, than why do you want her to pay you? I mean, aren't you happy to help out a friend?

-Rez

It's a he, and he's over 30 years old. Trust me, doing weddings in the soundbooth is very hard and precise. I would gladly do it for less, but I feel a bit robbed when he doesn't even ask me what I'll do the price for.

(Just so everyone knows: soundboothing weddings at $100 is pretty cheap)

Xidash

Taking good Photos when everyone is walking in front of you, it's dark, and lights are flashing is hard too.

Not to mention the hours of editing to make the photos presentable.

If you feel robed because a friend who's getting married (and may be tight on money because of it) asked you a favor you need to think about how you view your friends.

Option D: Drop the wedding.

Or crash it.

LM and MM, quit being so rude. Seriously.

LM and MM, quit being so rude. Seriously.

Is it really being rude to point out to someone that they're being selfish?

It can be, yes. Just like pointing out most things in a sarcastic, condescending manner is rude.

Xidash

I'm 50/50 on this.

While I agree with Laughin'Man, I think he could have pointed it out in a nicer manner.

It can be, yes. Just like pointing out most things in a sarcastic, condescending manner is rude.

 

Xidash

I'm not sure if I have a definite side on this, but Other Shad: you should definitely consider it a compliment that he's trusting you with a challenge as serious as this, but LM and MM, you definitely could've disagreed in a less... blunt manner than how you did. In this economy, you need every advantage you can get, even when you're 15.

:s:

I've done several weddings, I'm experienced and have been paid before (generally I split the $100 with whoever helps me, jsyk). But yeah, it's nice to know he thinks I'm good enough.

E: @LM, honesty as such won't get you far. Word it better, nicer, less blunt and it will do you good.

Xidash

Dudes, I'm Laughin'Man. "Blunt" is my thing. Actually, I prefer to think of it more as honesty.

That's not really anything to be proud of...

At all... Also, who thinks LM needs a more fitting name?

:s:

It's worked pretty well so far~

nope, this name's good

I am more on LM's side. But I agree with everyone else that he could have been kinder.

-Rez

I'm going to ask a hypothetical question. Knowing that he wouldn't have paid you, would you have said yes or no? If no, then perhaps you should reevaluate your priorities. If yes, then why are you frustrated about this in the first place?

I'm a photographer. Not studying photography, not a student, but an actual photographer who makes money off of my photography on a consistent basis, and I do not shoot weddings for free, regardless of how close of a friend I am with someone. I will give a very, very, very large discount, but I am not going to do something that I do professionally for free.

When a friend asks me to shoot their wedding, they're asking precisely because they hope they can get things for cheap. They are trying to abuse the friendship for free stuff.

I get it, weddings are stressful and expensive- but I'm not going to shoot your wedding for free. It doesn't say anything about how they view my photography skills if they ask me to shoot their wedding, it says everything about their desire for a cheap photographer.

It's just as rude, if not more so to ask someone to do something for you, that they normally charge hundreds of dollars for, and make part of their living off of, that they have to invest time and effort into (and time that they could be using to do a paying gig at full-price), and just assume it'll be free. That's taking advantage of a friendship.

And maybe when those of you chastising him for wanting to charge for it, you know, grow up and get into professional issues such as these, you'll understand.

And that brings us to our major difference here: Given his age, I highly doubt he does this for money on a regular basis. I doubt he does this for a living. He can correct me if I'm wrong on this, but in the long run he's not really losing much by helping a friend out by doing something for free.

The point is that it is absolutely rude of a friend to assume you'll do something you'd normally charge a significant amount of money for, but do it absolutely for nothing without asking if that's okay. It is rude to assume that being friends means I don't have to consider the financial obligations, needs, or time constraints of a friend who does these things for money (and he has clearly specified that he does this often and gets paid). It is rude to assume that just because you are friends with someone, that they are obligated to help you for free. There is a reason it is called a "friends and family discount". I'm not offering my professional services for free. That is time wasted that I could be doing something that adds more to my savings or pay my bills with. That I would be willing to take a 80% cut on a wedding for a friend (my personal friends and family discount) should be testament enough to the solidity of a friendship.

The other point that I was making subtly, though now I'm saying it outright, is that your rude responses are unfair and over the line. Being blunt is not the same thing as being honest, and honesty without tact or humility might as well be contempt. And I'm not going to have members feeling like they can bluntly assail other members in other blogs. Your sarcastic overtures were over the line, period. Learn to have more tact or taste, or stop commenting.

I may have done this for free. But the thing was he just pulled a fast one on me. I agreed to help him, not knowing whether I was getting paid or not. He thus assumed I didn't need payment, without asking.

A little something would be good for 8 hours of the next two days though.

E: Thank you DV

Xidash