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The Ultimate Hot Wings


Kevin Owens

1,039 views

Are you ready to put some hair on your chest? Do you need to clear out your sinuses? Do ordinary buffalo wings not do it for you anymore? Are you looking to spice up your love life?

 

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Then boy do I have a recipie for you.

 

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The base! An extra hot hot sauce. Cheap and in bulk is the way to go here if you don't want to break the bank, and this one is as simple as it is spicy.

 

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One drop. One drop does it. One drop is all you need.

 

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Unless you're me. Then you use the whole bottle.

 

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Texas pete makes a mean hot sauce. They make a meaner hoter sauce too.

 

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2 HOT 2 HANDLE

 

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Pour that in there too.

 

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Can you say two pounds of jalapenos?

 

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I can. Note that the seeds contain the maximum spice, so you want to add those as well.

 

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Throw in these for good measure.

 

Now then. Any dumby with two brain cells can just add spices, but a true master can make a subtle, multifaceted experience that both excites and delights. It's time to seperate the boys from the men!

 

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Garlic adds a smooth alternate spice to the mix, and it just tastes good.

 

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Mince that stuff up and throw it in.

 

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Limes add a tang that helps accentuate and increase the juciness.

 

Now then. Some people would throw in some wings and call it a day. Super sissies would go with boneless wings.

 

But you're not a sissy, are you?

 

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Go big or go home!

 

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If this is not the most delicious, mouth watering thing you have ever seen then I have bad news.

 

You hate America.

 

Let it marinade for at least 24 hours. Longer if you think you can handle it.

 

I can't wait to eat mine.

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I'm going to do this, actually. If only to see how many of my friends can stand it.

 

Should you refrigerate during it's marination, or just stick a lid over it?

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I'm going to do this.

 

Eventually.

 

And it'll be so manly, because I'll wear a pink frilly cupcake apron as I do it and that is like, the epitome of manliness.

 

And I'll dance.

 

And sing. Just like I do when I bake things.

 

*plus spicy things are yum <3*

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Well it just seems like it'd be more fun not alone? Seeing others' reactions, laughing at yours, etc.

 

But still why'd I reread this? Now I'm hungry for them again. D:

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