Janus

Our brave commander Wenglestump Sparklepants Shepard has come across two of his squad mates discussing the presence of a Spectre aboard their super shiny new spaceship. Wenglestum, having not had his coffee that morning and being in no mood to hear the ironically named "Joker" spout off conspiracy theories grouchily snapped "Cut the Chatter" and satisfyingly both Kaidan Alenko and Joker did so--until Joker decided to open his fat mouth again and try to talk to the captain to warn him about the Spectre heading back to talk to him... Only for the captain to respond "He's already here" as in "He's already here you dork, he heard you warn me about him. Way to make our ship look like it's full of super geniuses" Wenglestum has also been commanded to go discuss certain things with both the Spectre and Captain Anderson. Joker wants to make sure Wenglestum heard, but Wenglestum can't resist leaving one final comment 1. Is He Upset? - Wenglestum wants to make sure Joker understands that was a silly comment in the most passive aggressive way possible. 2. I Heard - Wenglestum is boring. So boring. 3. You made him mad - Wenglestum doesn't even bother being subtle. Joker you messed up. Dork. "Wheel of Morality, turn turn turn. Tell us the lesson that we should learn" "Elvis lives on in our hearts, in his music...and in a trailer park outside of Milwaukee."

WELP.

Cave Johnson. We're done here.

Ladies and gentlemen--may I introduce you to.... COMMANDER WENGLESTUMP SPARKLEPANTS SHEPARD (Or Wenglestum for short. Because character limits are no fun) ANYHOW our new found commander is on board the Normandy SR-1, the highest techest piece of space shippery this side of the galaxy. And he hears two PEONS I mean crew members talking about the Spectre aboard their ship. More specifically he hears the navigator talking about how only a fool believes the official story. HOW WILL WENGLESTUM RESPOND: 1. I agree - Agree with the navigator that something doesn't feel right 2. You're overreacting - maintain that cool demeanor that you might be well known for if you are known for that. 3. Cut the Chatter! - SHOW HIM WHO IS BOSS. "Wheel of Morality, turn turn turn. Tell us the lesson that we should learn" "If you can't say something nice--you're probably at the icescapades."

I'll see your Robo Raider and raise you a ROBO RAPTOR. Because that was seriously the best kit from all of the Roboforce.

NO. WE HAVE ALREADY DONE THAT.

I DON'T WANT TO PLUMMET TO MY DEATH. IS THAT A THING NORMAL PONIES DO? I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT UNLESS THAT IS A THING NORMAL PONIES DO.

THE HEAD IS BACKWARDS.

I am so happy with the fact that we have one of these hanging on our tree (Yes our tree is still up shut up) It is pretty much the cutest thing. THANK YOU PAT AND MADDIE. OH AND KUGTW 1000/10

^ LADIES AND GENTLEMEN WE HAVE A WINNER. ^ THIS IS THE FACE OF OUR MANSHEP.

I still haven't watched this movie (despite the fact that I own it) and I've heard so many conflicting things on it. Some people I very much respect (Example: Anita Sarkeesian--though I don't always agree with her) say that it's a pandering mess that is so offensive to women and people in general. Then on the other hand Bob Chipman (Who I certainly don't agree with all the time) respects the movie immensely and feels that it did succeed in inverting its audiences expectations and respecting the feminist view. I've seen portions of it, and portions of it I'm able to rationalize and understand, but it's possible than when viewed in proper context of the entire movie that those rationalizations won't be able to stand up. I like this view, though. That at its core it held the right intent however that it was ultimately a flawed attempt that failed to express that intent. Eh, maybe I'll actually watch the movie and make up my mind finally.

THE VOTES ARE IN Shepard's Name: Commander Wenglestump Sparklepants Shepard (Unfortunately shortened to Wenglestum because of character limits BOO) And Commander W. Sparklepants is an Earthborn War Hero Vanguard. NEXT ENTRY PLZ.

What a completely unexpected amount of support on this completely silly idea! THANK YOU GUYS AND GALS. Anyhow, now that our Shepard is named (the best possible name) and assigned, it's time to decide what he looks like. I will do this in the simplest possible way: WHAT IS SHEPARD'S RACE: - Asian -Caucasian -African-Canadian (+10 points because my wife wants it) WHAT IS SHEPARD'S COMPLEXION: - Yes Wrinkles - No Wrinkles - Maybe Wrinkles DOES SHEPARD HAVE A SCAR: - Yes - No DOES SHEPARD HAVE SOME PUDGE ON HIS FACE: - LOTS - Maybe a little - He is a skeleton WHAT SIZE ARE SHEPARD'S EARS: - Bigguns - Littleuns - Middlesizeuns WHAT KIND OF EYES DOES SHEPARD HAVE: - Squinty - Popping out - Boring WHAT IS SHEPARD'S OVERALL MOOD: - Happy - Sad - Zoned out - Neutral - Angry WHAT IS SHEPARD'S EYE COLOUR: - Look just tell me a colour because I'm not going to list all of them okay. There's a lot of colours I have to scroll through and I've already been through this character creation screen like eight times. DOES SHEPARD HAVE LUSCIOUS HUSSIE LIPS: - Yes - Yes HOW HUGE IS SHEPARD'S NOSE: - So Huge - Maybe not so huge? DOES SHEPARD HAVE FACIAL HAIR: - Yes - No WHAT COLOUR IS SHEPARD'S HAIR: - Blonde - Reddish - Brownish - Black - Mix'n'match (One for hair colour, one for beard colour) AFTER THIS WE WILL BE DONE WITH LOTS OF CHOICES. ONCE THE GAME STARTS IT IS PRETTY MUCH BINARY. OKAY I LOVE YOU ALL BYE. "Wheel of Morality, turn turn turn. Tell us the lesson that we should learn" "Brush your teeth after every meal!"

Okay guys, here's the deal. I've been wanting to play Mass Effect again anyhow (especially now that I know that MaleShep is from CAYNADA) but I've been kind of hemming and hawing about it. I mean I already beat ME1 and ME2 using a Femshep and playing a full paragon like I wanted to--but I know there's so much I'm missing. So here's where you come in! I will play Mass Effect (and maybe Mass Effect 2) according to your choices. I will leave each entry up for ONE DAY in which you can vote for the response I should take. The only rules here are: 1. It will be Manshep, I already played Femshep and I love her dearly, I want to try something different. 2. I will not romance Liara. I already did, we had numerous blue children and they are adorable. 3. If there is no clear majority I will decide whatever I want so nyeh. THAT'S IT. So let's start off with the first round of Options: WHAT IS SHEPARD'S NAME: - Commander __________ Shepard WHAT IS SHEPARD'S BACKGROUND: - Spacer Both your parents were in the Alliance Military. Your childhood was spent on ships and stations as they transferred from posting to posting, never staying in one location for more than a few years. Following in your parent's footsteps, you enlisted at the age of eighteen. - Colonist You were born and raised on Mindoir, a small border colony in the Attican Traverse. When you were sixteen, slavers raided Mindoir, slaughtering your family and friends. You were saved by a passing Alliance patrol and you enlisted with the military a few years later. - Earth Born As an Earthborn, you had a rough childhood in the slums on Earth and have a gritty edge to your personality. WHAT IS SHEPHARD'S MILITARY HISTORY: - Sole Survivor During your service, a mission you were on went horribly wrong. Trapped in an extreme survival situation, you had to overcome physical torments and psychological stress that would have broken most people. You survived while those around you fell, and now you alone is left to tell the tale. - War Hero Early in your military career you found yourself facing an overwhelming enemy force. You risked your own life to save your fellow soldiers and defeat the enemy despite the impossible odds. Your bravery and heroism have earned you medals and recognition from the Alliance fleet. - Ruthless Throughout your military career, you have held fast to one basic rule: get the job done. You've been called cold, calculating, and brutal. Your reputation for ruthless efficiency makes your fellow soldiers wary of you. But when failure is not an option, the military always goes to you first. WHAT CLASS WILL SHEPARD BE: - Soldier The Soldier is your pure combat class, they are those who use guns to solveall their problems. They can use all 4 weapons without relative ease, the onlyclass that is able to use Heavy Armour and they have the ability to use FirstAid. This is the best option for first time players because its easy to use,point and shoot. The class of a default Shepard or a quick Shepard. - Engineer The Engineer is like the Soldier, a pure user, but of Tech this time. Theyare the masters of cracking locks and hacking into systems, and also hackingand disabling enemy units. Since the Geth are electronic, you can hack intothem to render them useless. They are going to be a support unit, since thisisn't Battlefield 2 and you don't get a Shotgun. - Adept The Adept is the last pure user, the user of Biotics, or Jedi. With this,you will be able to defend yourself with Barrier, or throw your enemiesto render them useless. However, they will lack the offensive power or thetech power that would be required for an all round unit. - Infiltrator The Infiltrator is a combination of Combat and Tech. They have the offensivehacking powers of the Engineer and the long range and close range stoppingpower of a Soldier. They are a very powerful class, the other being theVanguard. With Combat and Tech, they can easily go through the game withoutneed for a support squad. - Sentinel The Sentinel is the combination of Techs and Biotics. This can be quite usefulbut there lies a problems. You don't have the combat capabilities of bringingdown the enemy. This class is again a support class since you can't take theenemy down. - Vanguard The Pure Jedi class, the Vanguard is one of the most powerful classes, theycan combine Biotics and Combat together. They however, lack the Tech powers totake down locks and that will seriously undermine your support squad. Theycan easily knock down foes, throw them and fire. HOO BOY THAT WAS A LOT OF STUFF BUT WE'RE NOT DONE YET. TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN WE GET TO PICK WHAT SHEPARD LOOKS LIKE! "Wheel of Morality turn, turn turn. Tell us the lesson that we should learn"

Is pretty much one of the greatest people ever. He draws awesome things and he sends awesome presents and I really hope I will see him again this year. THANK YOU MAN. So seriously, everyone start talking about how amazing Micah/Kakaru is. Because he's amazing. (I got a cheerleader and a doofy tennis player, in case you were wondering, Micah) ALSO WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME TOXIC REAPA HAS A POT BELLY???

I already own it. Plus a limited edition signed Soundtrack, plus a digital soundtrack. GOD I LOVE BASTION. -Janus

OH MY GOD IT IS ADORABLE. This is like the best arts I have seen in a long time. GOOD JOB MADDIE.

Is turning "We have no idea where we're going" into an hour long adventure. Love you baby <3

It don't get better.

Sorry, but no. It is a person's responsibility to control themselves. That's all there is to it. It's not a matter of 'she was dressed that way, she was asking for it', or even 'he was dressed that way, i lost control'. I've been around plenty of people in all sorts of modes of dress, I have yet to do anything to any of them. Because I believe the onus of responsibility falls on me not on every else around me. As an independent human being who exists on this earth I don't expect everyone to need to cater to me--I got enough of that when I was five. Now I take care of myself. Also control of their bodies? You mean urges? Yeah, we get urges--that's life. I also get urges to skip work and eat cookies all day and I don't act on those or blame other people for those either.

I'm going to ignore a lot of the stuff being said here to focus on one thing. We're taught to do what we love and what we're good at. I teach Martial Arts, some of my best students are girls. In fact many of the times I've been beaten in sparring it's been women who kicked my butt--and don't you dare think I wasn't giving it my all. I think it's disrespectful to give one level of attention/care to a man and one to a woman--would you ever do that to somebody else? Categorize them? "Yeah, Paul, I'd love to help you out today. But you're only a level four on my list. That means that I can only help you on Tuesdays or if I'm not helping three's on my list" That sounds silly, but it's the same idea if you say that you should do one thing for women and another for men. Why not just treat every individual as an individual? These gender binary lines are silly. HOWEVER that is not to mean there are no differences, for example it IS true that women have a slightly different muscle structure. Meaning that most often they do "modified" pushups, because it works them the exact same way a full pushup works a man. It's not 'making it easier' on women or treating them differently, it's expecting the exact same thing regardless of whether you're male or female. Which is what it should be. Suffice to say this blog entry has disappointed me on a few different levels, come on, BZP. I know you're better than this. On topic somewhat--Catwoman/Selina Kyle has always been more heavily sexualized than Black Widow, and I find the idea that they've removed her ability to actually take care of herself somewhat frustrating. Catwoman rarely needed Batman to rush to her rescue--in fact Catwoman was also often able to outperform Batman and would sometimes just toy with him--so the idea that they removed that makes me unhappy.

I've always enjoyed BIONICLE and probably always will enjoy BIONICLE. That's not to say, however, that I agree with or support every decision made in BIONICLE. To be quite frank while there were smatterings of good ideas throughout, for the most part my BIONICLE will always be 2001-2005. After that point I started to lose interest in what was currently being output, but I've never lost my love for the first four years. That's why I write non-canon fanfic. It's more fun that way. -Janus

For whatever reason, whenever I see this all I can think of is a time-lapsed picture. Like one of those shots they do in all the crime shows of the cities moving abnormally fast--but you did it without even having it move and that's impressive. Pat, you are amazing.

Being the somewhat decently large kind of Mass Effect fan I am I have to point out the CONTINUITY ERROR. IT CLEARLY SAYS "JANUS EFFECT 3" BUT REBECCA IS DRESSED AS A CERBERUS AGENT. WHAT'S UP WITH THAT? Also this picture is absolutely amazing and would probably be my desktop if I wasn't a lazy butt. Also the tiara makes this entire thing. (and Becca's face is adorably awesome) YOU ARE AMAZING THANK YOU.

Though never to the extent you have, I've been there. I too see some sort of miserable beauty in tragedy--it's all just part of the human condition, right? But I know that whatever you're going through, you're going to make it. And if you ever need an ear or a shoulder, you know to hit me up. But not literally, because hitting hurts.