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Arch-Angel

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  1. Arch-Angel

    Poem On Y27

    By Arch-Angel,

    I made this a couple of days before the BZP Rap. Its messy, given the hour I made was alo Spanish Class. I believe the BZP Rap was better, but this one is deep.

    Y27

    Oh what a year it has been
    Have you seen the pain, hate and sin?
    Everything went so fast
    But is it all in the past?
     
    Why is it that I wear the scars
    And people rise above as stars
    And choose to beat me down
    And when I call for help
    I receive not a sound?
     
    They don't care what they need
    Their drive is terrible greed
    I'm a caged bird singing
    I need to breathe
    Is anyone going to set me free?
     
    2007 was a year of pain
    And 2008 only looks to be more insane
    But I'm going to rise above all the factions
    Not have my words always speak
    But instead my actions
     
    Trust me, in this world now, you have to...
    Because their determined to rip you to fractions.

     
    Now in the criticism, I hope you know what you mean by having to stretch the rhyme. The poems I write are meant for speaking, not reading. So read it outloud, not in your mind.
     

  2. Arch-Angel

    The Fear Of Love

    By Arch-Angel,

    Many of you toss around the word. Whether discribing something you cherish, a family member, or a member of the opposite gender(or same gender, if thats how you roll).
     
    On my end, Love is something to avoid.
     
    I keep thinking that I'm going to repeat History.
     
    And do what my father has done.
     
    Omi is right, of course. We are still at too young an age, even to know what true love is. Its not lust, or liking them because they're cute or attractive, or just because they give you everything you want.
     
    Its not what you want, its what you need.
     
    "The One" is an expression used by both boys and girls, men and women, who are trying to find a soul mate that interlocks with them perfectly and without a hitch.
     
    When you find her/him, tell me how it feels, but I have a fear of love.
     
    I like the fact of being in a relationship. They make me feel more secure, but so fragile at the same time. Doing something wrong to mess it up, talk to a girl causally and rumors fly around that I'm cheating. Its amazingly stupid how people will judge on spot.
     
    My last relationship last 2-3 weeks. It was almost broken from the beginning, my girlfriend and her friend were at war with each other. Needless to say, her "friend" spread a rumor saying that she was cheating on me. She informed me of the rumor once it spread around her grade(7th) and in two days, my grade (9th). Needless to say, we broke up anyway. I wasn't broken up about at all. I felt like a weight was lifted off the two ton load on my back, easing the pressure.
     
    But what I truly feel afraid of is... breaking the hearts of my family. If I have kids, a wife, and a church, I feel as if I'll repeat everything that happened to my dad. I don't want that.
     
    I vowed not to get married, for fear of hurting my future wife and kids.
     
    That is my fear. You can go out, meet a girl/boy, anything. Just, for heart's sake, make sure its true.
     

  3. Arch-Angel
    Side Note: Yob = Job
     
    Yesterday, rain came down and surprisingly didn't bring me down. I have found myself more positive in life yet much wiser then the last time I was in a constant good mood, when I was fourteen, and BEFORE the events of this entry. Heh... been a long bleepin' two years.
     
    Heh...
     
    Yesterday, I went to get a haircut scheduled at 6:30 PM (EST for those that don't know I live in the so called 'Omi Land') with my sister and after I believe an hour (misplaced my watch) we head outside in the damp weather, turn the corner...
     
    The freakin' Corolla is gone.
     
    My sister is thinking: Ah great.
     
    I'm thinking: ...We got towed...? ...Well, now I got something to blog about.
     
    And I am blogging it, for here I am. Late for school for reasons I'm not gonna bother arguing to find out, and I went to sleep close to 4 (insomnia much?) but thats my day so far...
     
    On to the dang story I'ma chargin' my lazer! trying to tell...
     
    We go back inside the salon and ask our friend there (she's, I believe, a manager of some kind) if we could use the phone. She doesn't care, they got like, three, and we call up mommy and give her the bad news.
     
    Good news is, she's at a yob interview in town! Yep! Tryin' to get a yob HERE and not Rhode Island... in another state.
     
    She's got the ah cr(ud) tone in her voice, tells us to get a ride somehow to the interview, get my sister's car out of the impound and bounce.
     
    After 30 minutes of making fun the Fabric Place (the big parking lot they have, as if they could ever fill it ((Ooo yay! Needle and tread! Definitely going to be a mass amount of people going there!)) ) because we parked at the very end, as far away from the store we could care about, and the salon is in the building in front of us.
     
    (went to school, just came back, everything above was written this morning)
     
    Need a picture?
     

     
    (Keep in mine, I don't know the number of parking spots)
     
    I think thats the most cars I've ever seen in the parking lot that close to the Fabric Place. Then again, its probably the employees.
     
    So while we wait in mom's car for her interview to finish, me and my sister talk and laugh, et cetera.
     
    We decided that if mom let's us order pizza, then she got the yob.
     
    She called to order us the Family Feast at Pizza Hut. But she isn't sure about the yob.
     
    Now... picking up my sister's Corolla at the impound lot.
     
    The rainfall has increased greatly, and we find the lot with the man everyone usually hates himself, Tow man! The man who can legally steal your car if you stay in a spot for longer than 15 minutes in a near empty parking lot!
     
    ...So my sister, mom, and the Toe man talk with fire in their tone. I say in the car listening to my Zune playing some Kirk Franklin and Third Day.
     
    Reason being was the fine came to one hundred and fifteen dollars. And for those of you that can't read numbers, that 115.
     
    With the haircuts, the pizza, and the fine... hmm... 30 plus 25 plus 115...
     
    170 dollars.
     
    My mom is still contemplating moving into my friend's house. She obviously refuses another bad neighborhood. Our first experience was enough.
     
    Wish I had more to say except...
     
    I could really go for a Diet Pepsi right now...
     
    Or water. Maybe juice.
     
    *fails to keep a positive outlook on situation*
     
    ~AA
  4. Arch-Angel
    Today I finally got to see my sister after I believe an exact month. Sure, at the airport my mom told me to go inside and see if I can spot her (which I doubted, so I instead got my last Pepsi in a while, more on that Monday) and when I walked out, she was already putting her things in the back of the Explorer. During the ride home, she talked on about the things she remembered about Brazil and we concluded the fact that she now has difficulty switching back to English as she couldn't stop speaking Portuguese for the life of her.
     
    We got some Brazilian takeout (we don't know what Americans eat aside from fast food and UNO's), I had my bladder ready to give up on me because of that Pepsi, and after me doing my business and coming back down to bring up the lugage (I'm and brawn of the family), we came up to our apartment and ate our lunch... or my sister called to Brazil and my mom yelled at her to come up the entire time. She came out of her room after talking about five minutes I finished and came to my room.
     
    After spending much of my time on the computer, Smackdown! vs. RAW 2007, and a bit on the phone, I finally remembered that I had to call Barnes and Nobles about my application I turned in. Ya see, if you annoy them long enough, they'll give you an interview.
     
    My annoyance only took one call and I got my interview Monday at 3:30 PM.
     
    WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
     
    Seriously, its a dream job. I love reading, its walking distance from my school (Mile and a half), and I have to be 16 to work there. Its great.
     
    There's one problem.
     
    Things are going too well...
     
    Expect my downfall soon.
     
    ~AA
  5. Arch-Angel
    I don't even know why I'm bothering with my blog NOW.
     
    I'll just tell you to get it off my shoulders.
     
    Today started off as usual. My sleep is diprived as I'm reading the book 'Jumper' that the movie was orginally made from. Though I don't know the acccuracy from the two, 'Jumper' is a good book. Which is why I'm up until 1 AM reading.
     
    So I get up at 5:40 AM (clock is 20 minutes fast so it reads 6 AM to physicologically rush me in the morning) and I do my rountine. Bathroom, clothes, frosted flakes with milk bound to expire (that'll be a fun day), and all the things I need.
     
    I get to school and know I'll have work to make up from my absence yesterday. During lunch though, a friend of mine named Tito starts trash-talking about how he made me tap out in some playful grappling (basically amatuer wrestling without the style) and it was before Biology, I lefted him p with bare strength and could've slammed him down and chose not to. Considering the teacher would walk in and give me a detention right off the bat, I tapped.
     
    Now... he hasn't stopped talking about it. And continues to talk in lunch. So, with splitting headache and all, I challenge him. After school, meet in the front entrance.
     
    3 PM, he shows up, and the Aleve a friend of mine gave was helping quite a bit. We walked to the field arcoss the street from where his friends are playing 'Suicide' and others just hanging out.
     
    I take off my polo, empty my pockets, stretch a bit, and we start. After we broke up from the first round, my lip starts bleeding a lot. During on of his moves (possibly the DDT), my front teeth came down on my bottom lip, cutting it open. I suck on it a bit a spit on the ground.
     
    We go a second time, and when I found a moment I could take him down, I got on top of his back and into a headlock. After a few seconds of squeezing, he tapped. Though the tap was only viewed from my eyes, I know I won dispite what his friends didn't see.
     
    Right now we're even. No need for a thrid round to prove who's better. He's talking about how he cut my lip and all because he just can't come out saying he lost. Apparently thats too much for him.
     
    I just know I beat him. Not the biggest challenge, but I beat him. (expect a Rond Three tomorrow if he keeps talking)
     
    Before all this, in English class, my teacher wants to know whats up with my homework, and my failing grade. I simply told him, "I'll have my essay in tomorrow."
     
    "Good man."
     
    Fast forward presently to the story from before, and fast forward. 4 PM I get home in my not so cozy apartment and look around the blogs. I'm exhausted (sleep deprived and grappling, do the math) and I walk over to where my mom is on the couch and plant myself there for a nap.
     
    A four and a half hour nap.
     
    It was 9 PM, I'm a bit mad my mom didn't make an effort to wake me up. I have my dinner, come here, look at the latest blog entries from the one I left off, and get on my blog. I noticed Valenti's comment, and I thank him for his approval.
     
    I click the entry button on top, click 'Add Entry' and I know I should be doing that 4-5 paragraph essay on Brutus' character in William Shakespeare's 'Julius Caesar'.
     
    The instant I click the button, my teacher (in my head) shouted, "Moron!" like he does to some of the students.
     
    No, he isn't a bad teacher, but he isn't stupid whatsoever. He likes to challenge you, which I like in a teacher. If he must use an insult (more like show who fits the description in class) he will.
     
    So right now, Mr. McNeill is shouting in my head. My conscience is right next to him, slapping me upside the head.
     
    Ugh... Better do that essay...
     
    ~AA
  6. Arch-Angel

    Blog Design

    By Arch-Angel,

    I was wondering what you guys think of me doing some remodeling. Nieve got me to thinking about it when I made a content block for him. What do you think?
     
    Prototypes:
     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     
    ~AA
  7. Arch-Angel
    EDIT: Why didn't any of you tell me I wrote 'mentally' as 'metally'? I knew I wrote something wrong...
     
    NOTE: I hate my keyboards. They miss every other letter whenItype. Including thesace button. If grammar andspellng go wrongin this entry, I'll have to re-readitall when ts done.This statement isn't currently being looed at, bu Im slaming o the keys as we seak.
     
    For those of you that have read my blog, you know the emotion I put into it. The thoughts, the humor, the expericences. I've shared with you how I had a descent life at one point and how it all came crashing down starting in between the hours of 1 and 2 AM of January 2nd, 2007. If you just started reading this because of the title, then thats okay. My life story goes with this entry entirely.
     
    On that night, things were rocky. Dad wasn't home. We just came back from a late night showing of 'Night in the Museum' starring the funny Ben Stiller. In my head, I thought things would eventually fall into place where everything would be alrght in a few days. My dad wouldn't be with that woman, my mom wouldn't be sad, there wouldn't be another Christmas without him.
     
    That night would prove to me that I was wrong.
     
    My father came through the door, full head of steam. My sister parked her car in the position so that he couldn't get in the driveway. Again.
     
    He's had enough.
     
    He goes up the stairs, bangs on my sister's door with his angry fists, ready to unleash a storm. He felt disrepected. He was being kept away from his home. The house that he has worked had to get, worked hard to keep.
     
    My sister had a very good arguement to back up her actions against him. He spent Christmas and New Years with this woman and her two kids. He stayed with her after work. He came back home regularly at midnight since the middle of November. He indirectly dropped us.
     
    My mind set wasn't the best. I thought that God would bring this to rest. That He would show my pastor of a father the wrong of his ways. What was doing, what he was losing. I thought of this as short-term drama. I knew little of long-term drama.
     
    I was about to expericence a crash course lesson on the subjects of "Long-Term Drama" and "Unpleasant Life altering expericences".
     
    This entry covers it all.
     
    That was the day I was kicked off my mental placement of life.
     
    I believe that inside, we all have an idea of our placement in life. What we are used to. Who we are with. When life gives you lemon and all. But when your whole thought process is offically punted off the Empire State Building you orginally were on, you fall faster and faster and hits the ground with a heck of an impact. The things you were used to, gone. The day-by-day rountine, changed. Your eyes have opened. Congrats, life has opened your blinded eyes and you offically know what emotional pain looked like.
     
    Now, think of this. When you tell of your expericence and receive the comment, "Well think of the people that have it worse than you. The homeless, the starving children in Africa, etc.'
     
    Has that made you feel better?
     
    It didn't make me.
     
    'Why not?' you might ask yourself, 'Why does that not help whatsoever in making feel better? The people who have the worse life could give?'
     
    Because thats not the case.
     
    The homeless have found ground. They might have been homeless for years. The starving kids in Africa might have been born into this lifestyle, its been their ground, its been their lives.
     
    You have lost the ground beneath your feet. You have lost what you had. In my case, I have never known the emotion surrounded by a divorce.
     
    Now I do.
     
    You see, its not what we expericenced, but how far down the pit we fell.
     
    'Isn't that the same thing?'
     
    No.
     
    I know this girl. A Model Prep. The kind of girl that has had little to no turmoil in her life to change the way see looks at things. Her parents might have been divorced at her young age, but she didn't have the mind-set to care. Her life has ran smooth so far. Wealthy family, expensive clothes, friends just like her, and laughs and proudly makes fun of everyone 'beneath' her. And enough vodka mixed with orange juice in between. Right now, Tom told me that she is getting drunk at a girl's house who has probably bought half the tequila in Mexico. Probably near a toilet bowl right now vomitting. Maybe she's out cold. Who knows? Her way of having fun. Its her placement.
     
    Now.
     
    What if that same girl were to lose everything she has? She has to move into an apartment complex, be in a school with no one like her (doubt it), lose someone as close to her as a sister/brother? No more wealth. No more close contact to friends. No more ground.
     
    Well, then life would've opened her blinded eyes, and offically knows what emotional pain looks like.
     
    Now many of you know exactly what I mean. Some of you have yet to reach this point in life, like that girl.
     
    Now comes the part where you grow.
     
    Finding ground in such a mess in like trying to find a piece of hay in a stack of needles.
     
    The first step is the step back. Look at everything. Review every single memory. The memories of your time when you were fine, before that dreaded day came. Look at that dreaded day. LOOK AT IT. The emotions, the pain, the sorrow, the agony.
     
    Now let it out.
     
    Cry. Sob. Mourn. Pray.
     
    You shouldn't keep it in. Countless will tell you not to hold in the emotions for good reason. Religious content removed. - Nukora
     
    If you have to cry, sob, mourn, or anything, then do it. Let it all out. Shout to the skys, shout to the world. But never keep anything in.
     
    When you do this, you'll know your placement. Its your rock bottom, and you must rise from it.
     
     
     
    Find ground.
     
     
     
    ~AA
  8. Arch-Angel
    Today was...
     
    A filler.
     
    I stayed home today, reason being is that the tail bone infection has ensured a school chair would bring mountainous amounts of pain. Got a little cabin fever...
     
    Tomorrow at 1:30 (PM, not the one in an hour and thirty minutes) I meet a surgical doctor so he can analyze my infection. Needless to say, it will be painful and worse, it'll cost money.
     
    I've made a list of all the songs I have for SotD and I have enough until 49 so far from the ones I regularly hear, not including the one's suggested. Expect it to regularly come by.
     
    I've done my dishes, done what I wanted on the internet, said happy birthday to two fella, and I should call it a day. I hate short entries like these. So unnecessary yet unfortunate...
     
    Maybe tomorrow I can write about something lengthy. Until then, good night (or good morning)...
     
    ~AA
  9. Arch-Angel
    The lights and idea came from Jack_Skellington, my new unoffical business partner.
     
    Notice the Christmas Lights on the Custom Content Blocks on your right? Its simple decoration!
     

     

    http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v439/messager/ChristmasLightsUp.png
     

     

    http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v439/messager/ChristmasLightsDown.png
     
    Credit Jack Skellington and myself! Mostly Jack!
     
    Happy Holidays (Because the government won't let me say 'Merry Christmas'),
     

  10. Arch-Angel
    NOTE: Suggestions of 'Song of the Day' are much obliged, so if you have a song thats clean or mostly clean of swears and/or profanity (rap/Hip-Hop/R&B allowed of course), than PM it, and it might become 'Song of the Day'. INCLUDE WHY YOU THINK IT SHOULD BE SotD.
     
    I got a bunch of song suggestions, so I might as well start giving rid of them.
     
    This song happens to be popular in the blog-o-sphere as many entries mention it. It became a favorite quick, though I myself don't love it for some reason (dunno why), I got to say what the people say.
     
    Its good.
     
    The song title might become my new catchphrase:
     
    Viva La Vida by Coldplay.
     
    ~AA
  11. Arch-Angel
    NOTE: Suggestions of 'Song of the Day' are much obliged, so if you have a song thats clean or mostly clean of swears and/or profanity (rap/Hip-Hop/R&B allowed of course), than PM it, and it might become 'Song of the Day'. INCLUDE WHY YOU THINK IT SHOULD BE SotD.
     

     
    July 25th, 1941 - August 28th, 1955

    Read.
     
    This folk song was made in honor of Emmett Till, though never published, was still popular in within Protest Groups.
     
    Emmett Till, today song goes out to you.
     
    The Death of Emmett Till by Bob Dylan.
     
    ~AA

  12. Arch-Angel

    The Truth About Girls

    By Arch-Angel,

    Hey! Omi was right! The title will attract them!
     
    I'm sorry guys and gals, couldn't help myself.
     
    So, I got a problem. Not a big one, just...
     
    I need help with my Christmas/Birthday List.
     
    This is it so far...
     
    1. New mp3 Player: the one I have isn't being detected by the computer anymore, so can't put in music...
     
    2. CM Punk Clover Baseball Cap
     
    3. Batista Unleashed Hardcover Book
     
    4. Gift Card to American Eagle or Hollister
     
    Any suggestions?
     

  13. Arch-Angel

    Ryuu / Korey

    By Arch-Angel,

    Ryuu

    Ryuu, otherwise known as Korey, is my friend from High School. She's got a lot of heart, and a lot of problems in life. Struggling to balance her relationship with her boyfriend whom her evil parents want them to split, she has to deal with me. Ryuu's one of the best friends you could have. Don't get on her bad side though, there is no benefit to that.

    Oh. And she likes to glomp me. A lot.

    You can talk to Ryuu on AIM, her screenname is WingedWindWalker.

    ~AA
  14. Arch-Angel

    Song Of The Day 68

    By Arch-Angel,

    NOTE: Suggestions of 'Song of the Day' are much obliged, so if you have a song thats clean or mostly clean of swears and/or profanity (rap/Hip-Hop/R&B allowed of course), than PM it, and it might become 'Song of the Day'. INCLUDE WHY YOU THINK IT SHOULD BE SotD.
     
    This one goes out to Christmas (Sorry my Jewish friends, I ain't sayin' The Holidays mostly because the majority don't care, and to my hardcore atheist friends... hope you had a nice day ) because the song has been running through my head even after the 25th. I love it, and I love the band even more for singing it.
     
    Sleigh Ride by Relient K
     
    ~AA
  15. Arch-Angel

    Song Of The Day 60

    By Arch-Angel,

    NOTE: Suggestions of 'Song of the Day' are much obliged, so if you have a song thats clean or mostly clean of swears and/or profanity (rap/Hip-Hop/R&B allowed of course), than PM it, and it might become 'Song of the Day'. INCLUDE WHY YOU THINK IT SHOULD BE SotD.
     
    Peaceful, soothing melody. Heck, I didn't pay attention to the lyrics in the second half.
     
    Well, it is September, so this is necessary in every right.
     
    Shut up Green Day haters. I DON'T CAR-RA.
     
    Hey Neku. *shanks*
     
    Wake Me Up When September Ends by Green Day.
     
    ~AA
  16. Arch-Angel
    Tonight was fun, really.
     
    And at the end, educational.
     
    This year was filled with click flicks. Sex and the City, What Happens In Vegas, etc.
     
    Though once every year, Hollywood makes one movie that justifies everything for the male side of the race.
     
    Last year's was 300.
     
    This year's...
     
    WANTED.
     
    Full review on it, later...
     
    The end of the night, after my dad and I eat at UNO (Rattlesnake Pasta, no jalapenos por favor) plus grab some things from CVS (I pronounce it completely. Cv's.) he talked to me some in the car before I step into the lobby of the apartment. He asks a few things just about everything I've done or am going to do, and we part ways.
     
    I told him about my new routine, which is going to the park near downtown and play baseball with the guys I've known my entire life. I tell him I first got into it because of Saulo. Saulo, I've known for as long as I remember. He's like another dad (and a freakin' good one too) to me. Love the guy. He's fun, he's nice, I've worked with him too before working for my dad last year when I was around 12 or 13. He was great. I truly love the guy like family, never done me wrong.
     
    So when I tell my dad that Saulo invited a couple weeks back to play ball, he starts going on...
     
    He say's that after the whole thing, Saulo started to treat him much differently.
     
    When he was driving around, he saw Saulo pass him by going around the corner. They obviously saw each other. My dad waved and said, "Hey, Saulo!" and Saulo gave him the cold shoulder. A complete ignore. Turns away, and keeps driving.
     
    Another time, they were in the same aisle at Home Depot, and my dad greeted him like before, and the cold shoulder. Saulo's aware of everything around him. He doesn't wander off in thought, he pays attention to many things.
     
    Dad goes on to say that Saulo shouldn't judge him for leaving my mom. He says that he should mind his business, because someday he's going to need him and he will give the cold shoulder to that. He used a Brazilian expression, "You can't plant beans and expect rice. You can't plant apples and expect to get oranges."
     
    After some trailing off that topic and me FINALLY leaving his SUV, I told my mom this, and she said the following:
     
    "Saulo use to look up to dad when he was a pastor, like dad was a great guy. After the thing, he was broken."
     
    It seems that my father broke more hearts than I thought.
     
     
     
     
     
    Sometimes I wonder...
     
    Sometimes I worry...
     
    I'm afraid, really.
     
    I have bad daydreams where I consider the concept of what if I done what my dad did to my future wife and kids?
     
    I even talked to Omi about this, a little. I told him I'm afraid to be a dad. If I have a daughter, I don't want her to be the high school my mom. If I have a son, I don't want him to be an alcoholic, pot smoking, druggie or drug seller. I don't want him cutting his wrists when he's super stressed. I don't want him to a fool. Nor my daughter. Those are the two biggest fears in my future life.
     
    I sometime think that I should spare my wife and kids the trouble. Never get married, never have kids, nothing. Live my life, and move on to the next (<-too Christian for ya?). But Omi said I should take the risk. There's a chance I won't do what my dad did, and there's a chance I won't have that happen.
     
    His words are encouraging, but the fear still lingers.
     
    Especially with how good of a friend I apparently am with everyone. I believe when someone asks for something, give them twice of whats expected. Hendrick, friend of mine back in Maynard (mentioned him once before), talked about how good of a friend I was because I bought him lunch at MickyD's just so we could stay the place and talk. Friend of mine, Kory, says I'm amazing sometimes. Lluvio said the same.
     
    Now what would happen if I pulled a Dad and break all their hearts?
     
    I feel my betrayal of you all coming. I know it.
     
    I feel like one day, at the peak of life, when everything is going great... I got wife that loves me, I got the kids that want to be me, and I got the friends who never want to leave my side, that I'll commit one single action that'll break whatever foundation they had with me, and it all goes to heck.
     
    My dad did that.
     
    Eventually, I'm pretty sure I will too...
     
    ~AA
  17. Arch-Angel
    NOTE: Suggestions of 'Song of the Day' are much obliged, so if you have a song thats clean or mostly clean of swears and/or profanity (rap/Hip-Hop/R&B allowed of course), than PM it, and it might become 'Song of the Day'. INCLUDE WHY YOU THINK IT SHOULD BE SotD.
     
    This song is perfect for the moving-on-after-rough-break-up time in your life. Then again, I never encountered those. The reason I love this song is the vocals, rhythm, basically everything.
     
    Ladies and gents, the song played by the band we grew up with giving us hope in one of their previous songs, 'Move Along',
     
    Swing, Swing by All-American Rejects
     
    ~AA
  18. Arch-Angel

    Unloved And Broken

    By Arch-Angel,

    I feel as though no one likes me in this town. I tried everything, but apparently being nice is a bad thing to do.
     
    Apparently I lose respect from people because I gave them presents.
     
    Last year, I gave my ex-crush a 20 dollar gift card to CVS that she asked for her birthday.
     
    Girl still gives no respect.
     
    I hand out candy to people for Christmas (On my birthday, but I didn't fee special) and they loved it. But no respect.
     
    I pull pranks for fun, and want to make people laugh.
     
    No respect.
     
    I even went as far as changing my clothes right now, lose weight over the summer, yet barely get a compliment unless my friend Tom (who is the most popular kid in the grade, and with girls) tells them about me and get them to notice.
     
    You know what? Moving doesn't sound like a bad idea at all.
     
    I am a 'random person' more than I am considered a friend. I feel hated, unloved, and broken.
     
    I feel horrible and I want to crawl under a rock and wither away. I'll probably never be accepted by others, and never find any peace in this storm. The eye of the hurricane past, and now its the roaring winds of discouragement and shooting raindrops of failure like bullets on me.
     
    I feel like I'm breathing out cold fire.
     

  19. Arch-Angel
    Yesterday... oh wow... was a mess.
     
    My friend Tom is very honest. He tells me things I should know, especially people talking trash about me. He told how the entire group of Sophomore girls think of me as one word:
     
    Weird.
     
    This word has haunted me ever since I moved to this town. I admit, I was weird. I still am. But the way they say it sounds like I shouldn't even be within 50 yards of them.
     
    Personally, if they were guys, I'd really want to kick their butts. But only one guy in that group of people (The Model Preps, I call them) is the member of the bike 'gang', King Kong, who I also want to throw into a pit similar to my own.
     
    Tom is constantly asked," Why do you talk to him?"
     
    "Because he's nice and he's my friend..."
     
    He is the only nice one there. He gets it. He doesn't look down on people(well, just stereotypes the geeks), but he looks at me like he looks at the girls, as a friend.
     
    The Model Preps, though, look at me walking by at they would if I was eating worms with ketchup.
     
    I mean, I have one heck of a reputation for the stupid and sketchy, but they never look past that. They should look at themselves.
     
    They do everything together. Piercings, drinking, same clothes, same attitude, same hair style...
     
    Truly, they don't think for themelves. No individual mind. No different opinon. What one thinks, the other has to.
     
    In my mind, thats just... weird.
     
    And one of them has a catch phrase when they see me or a geek:
     
    Ewwww!
     
    Now that hurts.
     
    WHen my friend told me this, I was confused. I was angry, but sad I couldn't do anything about it. I wanted to destroy a car with my bare hands, but that wouldn't fix a thing.
     
    When I left his house, across from our small town, the quickest way home on foot was through the downtown area, past where they hang out.
     
    I don' know if they saw me, no one said anything about it at school today.
     
    I cried most of the way there. Tears. Eyes near closed, but enough to see the ground.
     
    My eyes still hurt.
     
    I passed by a group as they were sitting on a bench across from the local CVS.
     
    'Somewhere I belong' on my mp3 blocked out anything they had to say. For the better too. I don't know what I'd do if I heard an insult. I probaby looked like I was sleeping or something, mybe they saw the tears. But it doesn't matter, because I don't know if it was them.
     
    I wish we'd move faster. Best chance I got is 'til November.
     
    I wish... just to get rid of their cocky personalites.
     
    'Someday, as we all grow up, we realize that its not the world that doesn't understand you, its you not understanding the world.'
     
    I believe my own quote more than ever now.
     

  20. Arch-Angel
    Before, in the past, I believed this holiday to be one of peace, giving thanks, and eating until my stomach nearly bursted.
     
    This year, I have had little peace, few things to be thankful for, and I'm not hungry...
     
    If you noticed, I haven't done a blog entry on any holidays. I told you the ones of the past, the ones that were littered with family sorrow.
     
    When I thought that my life would go smooth and fine. When I thought that Christmas 2006 would be fun. This day marks the anniversary of when I thought that my parents would stay together.
     
    I'll tell you what I'm thankful for.
     
    I am thankful for not living on the streets. I am thankful that I'm a Believer, I am thankful for my girlfriend Bionigirl, I am thankful for my friend Taki, I am thankful of my friends in my old town, and I am thankful I have some friends in my new school.
     
    What I'm not thankful for?
     
    I am not thankful for living in an apartment that gives me as much freedom to the outside to that o a prison. I am not thankful for the fact this Christmas might be more of a disappointment then last year's. I a not thankful that I still have to deal with the fact that my parents are divorced and I don't hear the end of it.
     
    The Holidays to disappoint are upon me yet again...
     
    Happy Holidays everyone, I hope you'll enjoy it more than I will...
     

  21. Arch-Angel
    Their is one thing that troubles people on a daily basis. It stays in the back of their heads forever, but once it hops on the train of thought, it rushes through your mind, engulfing all concentration and stresses your body as it tries to finish the task at hand. This thing brings daily pains and worries, and is ultimately controlled by the authority that you must follow. They do not care what is going on in your life, not unless a higher authority says so.
     
    I do not have the explanation to the higher authority that would affect the authority. I am a victim.
     
    I absolutely hate these.
     

    » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «Due dates  
    Research Paper on the physical effects of alcohol on the human body, DUE tomorrow.
     
    Thirty page chapter, read and Take-Home Quiz on 'Of Mice and Men'.
     
    Two chapters to read and take notes in History textbook.
     
    The equation comes up to...
     
    Another all-nighter.
     
    Anyone want to stay up until 4 AM on AIM for me is greatly appreciated.
     
    I think Lil' Wayne says it best with And I feel like dying... and I feel like dying...
     
    Then again, right after that, it says: Once only the drugs are done...
     
    ...
     
    Okay, the man looks like this:
     

     
    Any questions?
     
    ~AA
  22. Arch-Angel

    Never Alone

    By Arch-Angel,

    Money.
     
    Money is earned through work.
     
    Work is made to get things done.
     
    Getting things done will leads to satisfaction.
     
    Too much satisfaction?
     
    No work.
     
    No money.
     
    No rent for next month.
     
    No signs of getting work.
     
    No chance of living in this apartment for another month.
     
    Signs of failure.
     
    Signs of disapointment.
     
    Signs in my mother of her sadness.
     
    Signs of us moving into my friend's basement.
     
    Signs of debt following us in there.
     
    Likelyness of pain.
     
    Likelyness of sorrow.
     
    I have to do well in school.
     
    I have to go to college.
     
    I have to earn a living.
     
    I have to get a job.
     
    I have to keep going.
     
    At least I won't go alone.
     
    Ye though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil.
     
    Because I know who's with me.
     
    ~AA
  23. Arch-Angel

    Bitter Coffee

    By Arch-Angel,

    The bitter taste of the Starbucks coffee was hardly a concern. Normally, Chris would complain about how it tasted a bit processed and that he wasn't about to put in a fifth Splenda, but today wasn't one of those days. Today was the day Chris needed to rest himself, his mind, and his heart. It's been a while since he has had to make a decision he believed would mark the rest of his life. He chose to be answerable or accountable, reliable or dependable, and to be focused on one thing.
     
    Responsibility.
     
    For a person.
     
    This person wasn't as any person, as he just agreed to be there for that person. Through thick and thin, and for as long as need be. As long as possible. It his Erica, his girlfriend, for Pete sake, but he felt, in some way, now tying the knot. No ring, no Bachelor's party, no wedding, no reception, no Honeymoon. Married. He felt married.
     
    "Since when does it feel this bad?" He thought to himself, "Why am I not happy? Do I not love her?"
     
    His coffee cup, cardboard, bony white with green, Mother Nature logo, was still in his right hand. His cell phone in the other. The most important phone call he might ever had, on the most typical day. It just hit him that the taste was sitting in his mouth, getting worse as it dried up as he left his jaw hang while in plaguing thought. He hasn't been responsible for anything in so long. He's gone to college, he got his degree in English, he worked his way into Grad School, but that was just passable to him. He could've decided to live his life extremely different. His parents had money, they were happily married, and it seemed that they haven't lived a hardship since Chris's Appendicitis scare when he was fifteen. And that was because it was a camping trip. Yes, he felt lucky to have survived, but he isn't traumatized by it anymore. It was a medical emergency in the middle of the woods, and it was treated. That's it. But this, this was something different. He repeated the words in his head, and he didn't like them. He didn't believe himself. It wasn't true to him.
     
    "We're having a baby. You're going to be a father."
     
    "How do tell someone that on the phone?" He said out loud, realizing he spoke too loudly. Some people looked up, then went back to their original preoccupation, believing it was just better to leave the lone coffee drinker to settle his own stress. It's the smart option: someone is in distress, so best not to get involved and let them handle it. It's their problem, they'll sort it out. Heck, they might become a stronger person. And when they have kids and grand-kids, that person can help them through that stress because life blessed them with the opportunity to learn from trial and tribulation.
     
    "Kids?" Chris whispered in thought, "Grand-kids, even?"
     
    The thought of it made his head spin like a dreidel. He wasn't going to let his kid do this in life. Not make the same mistake.
     
    "Mistake! No! Not a mistake! He is not going to be a mistake!" He shouted in his thoughts, "He is a blessing! A wonderful surprise!"
     
    He looked down at his coffee, still bitter, still warm. Then Chris realized that he just gave the baby a gender. He realized he subconsciously wanted a son. He thought of the baby as a boy, and not only just a boy: his boy. His son. He imagined a tiny newborn, so adorable and so at rest, with not a care in the world as he cradled the child in his arms. He wanted to protect that little one. His little one. He was going to grow up. Get his first baseball cap. Become a Yankees fan because he wanted to be different, and to tease his old man when the Sox lost a game to them. And they would play catch, and he would go to school. And he would study hard, and he would work hard, and he would be a great athlete, and would go to college. And Chris wanted to love him all the way. And even if he didn't do any of that, he would support him. If he got bad grades? Help him out. If he didn't know how to work? Teach him. If he wasn't good at sports and liked acting or singing or whatever? Help him become more then he imagined. If he was gay... well, even then, he was going to love that little boy that he once held in his arms. And at church, or at barbecues, or at parties, he would wrap his arm around the boy's shoulders, bring him up to his friends, and say, "Hey fellas, I want you to meet my boy."
     
    He laughed to himself and thought, "I love the son I don't even know I'm having. Oh, my gosh."
     
    He chuckled some more. The entire time he was sitting there for at least an hour. His butt felt numb, and he realized he was sick and tired of Starbucks' ###### chairs. Their natural glow and fake wood panels. Their funny way of saying sizes like Grande and Venti. Most of all, he was tired of buying the same burnt and bitter coffee and hating it, then coming back the next day to buy it again. It was a habit. It was ritual and he just realized it. Here he is, right now, sitting in a Starbucks, not doing anything. Now, he has to do something. He is going to drive to Erica's house and tell her that he was going to stay by her. Through thick and thin. He is going to tell her that he was going to take responsibility, and he was going start making changes in his life for this child. The boy he never met, but loved so much.
     
    He got up from the uncomfortable chair. He grabbed his coat. He took his coffee and headed to the door. He dropped the half-empty coffee cup right into the trashcan and watched it fall like a rock. The lid opened up, and the brown liquid spread out and released itself from the cardboard prison. He stepped out of the cafe, and he took a breath of the crisp, fall air and felt the chill go up his spine, and underneath his skin, feeling every one of his hairs stand up with pride. He swallowed, and remembering the taste of the past, knowing it would be the last time he ever would.
     
    His phone began to ring.
     
    "Chris, I'm so sorry. I read the box wrong."
     
     
     
     
     
     
    ~AA
  24. Arch-Angel
    "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
    - Mariah Carey
     
    ~AA
  25. Arch-Angel

    Happy Trogday!

    By Arch-Angel,

    I am proud to inform you all that today is Trogday! This day (or week) marks the 5th year of Trogdor's creation by StrongBad, who isn't trilled because we killed Trogdor like we did with Zombies, Ninjas, Pirates, and StrongBad.
     
    No, I do not know how long it lasts or how long its been going on but bottom line is, its Trogday!
     

     
    Happy Trogday!
     

     

     

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