Toaraga

Let me guess: conspiracy/sci-fi movie. ©1984-2010 Toaraga EAM

I drew this first one in Flash from scratch: This one I drew not so much from scratch, but I had a drawing tablet I wanted to familiarize myself with. I basically used Photoshop to "trace" and color a pre-existing image, alternating between the tablet and mouse as need be. ©1984-2010 Toaraga EAM

Advice. You can't go wrong for asking for that, since people are usually willing to give that out. ©1984-2010 Toaraga EAM

I prefer my puppies cooked. I want shady heat, rather than heated shade. Oh sure, sunshine on people's parades. ©1984-2010 Toaraga EAM

Wow, you were early/on time this week. I mentioned something about LEGO Marvel sets back when it was announced. You should use some of your influence to get some good Marvel sets (if the Mega Bloks ones were anything like the magnetic Halo ones, that's enough for me to not like their quality). ©1984-2010 Toaraga EAM

There are some perks to working retail: I got these from the valences at work once they weren't needed. Whenever I get room, I'll have them on my wall. ©1984-2010 Toaraga EAM

The future looks brighter every day. And summer is but months away. Haha, random poetic moment. Anyway I'm so full of amazement and excitement for this year, but there are so many distractions to getting things accomplished, things I couldn't quite finish when Christmastime was around. I'm trying to force myself to focus on what's really important to me. (I'm still kind of figuring that out.) I'm looking forward to summer, not because school is out (though an added bonus I assure you), but so much more than that is planned. I guess I'll have to wait to see what transpires between now and then. I did say 2010 was going to be better than 2009 to me personally, and it's shaping up that way, in spite of the obstacles. Also, I made an 88 on my algebra exam from Monday. Considering that's not my strong point, I'm really happy about that. I remember numbers, not formulas... I've memorized so many personal numbers (ones pertaining to identification, etc.) over the years, it's insane. I even used to be able to remember phone numbers so easily, but with speed dial and people getting new phones/numbers so often, that kind of became a semi-active trait. Summer can't come soon enough, but soon enough, the spring will pass too. Life is so short. Here's to the future! ©1984-2010 Toaraga EAM

There are too many people who already complain about things... some of them paid to do so. What about Mickey Rooney? ©1984-2010 Toaraga EAM

Super Bowl spot was mediocre, but the theatrical trailer is full of win. Go, watch it! Also, Industrial Light & Magic. The effects should be top-notch, so here's hoping for a just as good or better story. I don't want an overpowering special effects show to make up for bad storytelling. So far, the movie looks promising. ©1984-2010 Toaraga EAM

I see you've been talking to Smeag again. ©1984-2010 Toaraga EAM

That's just redundant, since that's what commitment is; it's intentionally living for someone or something. Just because it's not thought of intentionally does not mean it's not. ©1984-2010 Toaraga EAM

It doesn't help when side effects advertised are depression or worse. It's quite possible those kinds of depressions are still caused by some event that initially triggered them. Of course, therapy is pretty much talking/writing through it (communicating basically), but it's only helpful if you trust whomever you're opening up to. ©1984-2010 Toaraga EAM

Let me say this right off the bat. I am a Christian, yet I have struggled with depression. No matter who you are, depression is never a fun thing to go through. This is not something I like to broadcast, but I do like to help people. I prefer to do behind-the-scenes stuff with little or no attention on myself. I'm terrible at spearheading projects from scratch, since that's not how my thinking works, but I do like to help people when I see a need. The problem with helping people is that sometimes others will take advantage of that generosity, especially if you're not a person who can easily say no. I did stuff for people, not because I was the best person for the job, but because I didn't know how to say no to helping out and am willing to try. Yes, I like to help, but I don't like to feel manipulated into helping. For who knows how long, I was doing things that may or may not have been important but feeling miserable and pretty much questioning my self-worth and what I was doing in the real world; I didn't find much enjoyment in a lot of what I did. I even quit giving it my all eventually because I didn't see the point or feel a reason. I did not realize what was happening in my life; all I knew was something was not right, but I didn't know anyone I could really share my problems with, since I didn't trust people. I proved myself to be trustworthy, but I was hesitant about trusting anyone else. I didn't know who I could talk to that cared about and really knew me, and being the introvert that I am, I learned a long time ago how to keep my emotions and thoughts to myself; so often I didn't even think deeply about what I was doing with my life. I was just going through the motions of day-to-day and week-to-week living. So what does this have to do with BZPower? I'm going to admit it. BZPower was one of my escapes; it was how I coped with the real world because I didn't know how to face my problems. I felt disrespected, ignored, or used by too many people I had once trusted: family and friends alike, people I grew up with or who watched me grow up, but on here I had developed respect, friendships, and a sense of belonging from people I have never even met. I felt more welcomed here than in the real world. What I did here was contributive, and my opinions were valued; I had even worked my way up the ranks of the staff. People "listened" to what I had to say. Through some events that began in 2008 at least (maybe before, but I didn't notice), my life began to turn around for the better. One event in particular caused my focus to shift, and I began to make changes in my life. As I was going through these changes, my faith began to be rekindled; I never lost my faith, but it had been weak. I even made new friends over the summer, and I started to really enjoy life outside the Internet and video games... things I once used as an escape. These things just didn't feel worth my time as much. As great as my position at BZPower was and as wonderful as the staff was during my time, my heart wasn't in it anymore, and dealing with moderating was adding to stress I was still dealing with; besides, Christmastime was rolling around, so I knew I was going to be extremely busy with work anyway. Now don't get the wrong idea. BZPower was neither a cause nor an effect of what I went through; it didn't cause me to be depressed, and I wasn't here just because I was depressed. In fact, it was a great asset in my life. I've gotten to know some wonderful people and even had an excuse to travel last summer, an event that's really made me want to travel more than I already did. It's something that allowed me to really try what I might not have otherwise done. As I was able to open up with my problems to someone I found I could trust and even took a serious look at my life, I saw the misery I had been through for what it was. I can't say for sure when I really knew I had been going through depression, but I know it was during recent months that I figured it out. Just before Thanksgiving, I was even able to write something for the first time to tell friends and family what I had been through, to confront a part of me that I had learned a long time ago how to keep hidden. Check this out. I never used any kind of medication to deal with depression (honestly, I'm not sure I would recommend any, since the side effects sound worse than helpful). If something is seriously bothering you, don't be afraid to deal with it. If you're going through depression, find a way to talk about what is bothering you. You might also need to get your focus shifted because your priorities are probably wrong. I'm not going to lie and say I never get sad or feel down anymore, but now that I'm aware of what I went through, I can better sense when something is going to pull me down. I also find myself wanting to be more optimistic and encouraging... I've think I've always been an optimist at heart, but I was surrounded by pessimistic people for years. This is why 2009 was the best year of my life. ©1984-2010 Toaraga EAM

That's the same reason it's better that certain silent protagonists not be given a voice beyond sound effects, since people have their own ideas of what a character sounds like... especially since the voice has to match the character well. One for each page, because it takes that many people to figure out what's not going on with the show. How many of those members are actually the writers for the show? ©1984-2010 Toaraga EAM

No way, me too. *High five* Basically, you've come to accept a part of yourself you either didn't before or were unaware of. Aren't we all. But you're not hopeless. So you like puns then? Yeah, two things that are counter to each other. Yeah, loving others is not easy. Sometimes people surprise you in a good way, and sometimes they let you down. You know you're only across the state line from us, right? Our state isn't entirely ugly. There are parts where it doesn't look like city at all... trees for miles around. Then again, sometimes it's only the people one knows that makes a place worth living in. You mean we didn't invent gravity? I think our biggest exports are celebrities and businesses that become famous. ©1984-2010 Toaraga EAM

Spider-Man 3 just sucked, as it pretty much killed any pre-established story. I don't know about Harry anyway, since his motive was ruined by his butler's wonderful timing. You're right about Tobey Maguire though; his tone as Spider-Man was kind of dry. @B6: All Spider-Man narration needs Bruce Campbell. Every movie ever needs Bruce Campbell as a narrator. Or Morgan Freeman. Yes, future Spider-Man movies should feature Morgan Freeman as narrator... Now that would be full of win, and I'd totally just listen to it. ©1984-2010 Toaraga EAM

You know you're story's going to be called It All Started with a Fikou Spider. ©1984-2010 Toaraga EAM

Status quo- The world changes its views too often for this to realistically exist. The only thing that's achieved by submitting to such a notion is thinking in stereotypes. If the status quo really did exist, things would be much more bleak than they really are, and history would not be that: history. Fear of commitment- This is mostly applied to relationships, but in reality, whoever or whatever one dedicates his/her life or time to is what that person is committed to. It can be work, family, fun, etc. The truth is we all commit ourselves to someone or something without even considering what happens if we don't. I'm sure there any many more everyday things that people mention which do not, in fact, exist. ©1984-2010 Toaraga EAM

As long as I'm one of those people you submit to, I'm good with your plot. ©1984-2010 Toaraga EAM

This is a terrible way to get it. Begging for this kind of job will not result in getting one; there's a lot of responsibility involved, and you have to display some maturity (not that you are not allowed to have fun). An online moderating job is not the same as a paying job; you can't just walk in (metaphorically) and ask to be hired because it doesn't work that way. Since you may never meet in person, the people in charge have to see your willingness to work without necessarily trying to draw attention to yourself. That's why sometimes people few others have heard of become part of the staff, because it's not about attention seekers or popularity. Being part of the staff is more than just wearing a title, so to speak. It takes a lot of time and dedication. ©1984-2010 Toaraga EAM

"Staff shakeups." You have got to stop playing Promotion Jenga before someone gets hurt. Good old magic hat, you never let us down. Okay, magic hats and Fikou. Yep, that's right, I'm coming back. Surprise. But seriously, I'm sure whomever you choose to do whatever will do fine once the initial shock wears off, but as always I'm secretly hoping they won't. ©1984-2010 Toaraga EAM

I might be willing to help with Deja Vu/Annual Achievement, but Endure took about 3 hours just to complete, not counting however long it took to play through all those times. Blah, anything that someone can get by accomplishing something possible becomes "noobish" by Halo standards. Plasma Pistol/Battle Rifle is "noob combo" because it's so simple to charge the Plasma Pistol, switch to Battle Rifle, then obtain a headshot; honestly, there are so many things you can do with the weapons selection. Recon is "noobish" because you don't have to impress Bungie anymore with some one-of-a-kind antic; just complete some rather difficult/lengthy Vidmaster challenges. Personally it's just nice to have as a completionist and because it's less bragworthy now. If you want to talk noobish, bragging about a "no scope" sniper headshot at point-blank range is pretty noobish to me, since you are standing in front of the target. (I'd hope you don't need to zoom.) Don't put too much stock in what people think is noobish. ©1984-2010 Toaraga EAM

I finally have it. Endure was such a pain to get. Advice for Endure: Teamwork and communication. It might take a few tries to work with your teammates and know the terrain/enemy drops. Choppers on Lost Platoon also help. The people I was playing with and I ended up with about 20 lives by the end of the 4th set; after that, we took it less seriously. ©1984-2010 Toaraga EAM

The professor tricked me into recording all sorts of funny words for him. ©1984-2010 Toaraga EAM

Well, Project Natal is due out toward the end of the year. You're off by five years, but if we keep moving forward, I'm sure we'll meet him together. ©1984-2010 Toaraga EAM