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MT Zehvor

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  2. MT Zehvor

    What Tv Has Taught Us

    By MT Zehvor,

    Being close to the end of the year and all, I thought I'd make a list saying what TV has taught us in the past year(or years):
     
    -99% of Americans are, in fact, not as smart as a 5th grader
    -90% of 5th graders aren't as smart as a 5th grader either
    -Dish Network, Comcast, and DirecTV all have more HD channels than each other at the same time
    -It's perfectly normal to dress up like Vikings and take goats on skiing trips
    -HeadOn is, in fact, mant to be applied to the forehead
    -The most pressing issue in America is saving money on a pickup truck
    -Saving money on your car insurance is second
    -Ford is a popular truck company
    -GM is really sorry for screwing up
    -So is BP
    -So is Toyota
    -Singing rock songs about how much you love your bank is probably not gonna make you a popular artist
    -Don't run out of Dorito chips when crossing a street, or you will be pancaked by a bus
    -Plastic surgery is perfectly normal
    -Geckos can actually hold much more in their invisible pockets then you would think
    -There are at least 5 dozen different animals/company icons responsible for saving Christmas
    -Singing the catchy tune of your car insurance company can provide you with a hot tub
    -Bud Light can't make you fly
    -Eating a Snickers will save you from heatstroke if you're AC fails in the summer
    -Pressing a tiny red button with "Staples" written on it will automatically provide you with anything your heart desires
    -The NFL has an "official" company of everything
    -And, finally, the Mac vs. PC commercials are never to return. CRYING FACE. Curse you iPad.
     
    -MT
  3. MT Zehvor

    Ebay

    By MT Zehvor,

    Don't you get the feeling that some of these guys have no idea how U.S. Currency works?

     
    On the bright side, there's free shipping.
     
    -MT
     
  6. MT Zehvor
    Outside of liking coffee, this is probably the thing I have received the most criticism on this blog for. Not being obsessed with Mario and giving it "ZOMG 10/10 RATINGS THIS IS THE BEST THING EVUURRRRRR." Well, today, I think I shall take some time to explain why I plain, flat out, don't like Mario, and why I think that 1st person series games such as Halo(that everyone stereotypes as stupid story-lineless sauce), and other Nintendo franchises such as Metroid and Zelda, are all better than Mario.
     
    Story: "SAVE THE PRINCESS!!!" HOORAY. The most original storyline ever!!! Save a princess! Where has "save a princess" been used before, you ask? Gee, just maybe in EVERY FAIRY TALE EVER. So their story's unoriginal. And yeah, while some games can pull off an un-original storyline and still make it ok, the whole main problem with the storyline is that IT'S BEEN THE EXACT SAME THING since the 1980s. 30 years now of the same dumb storyline. Heck, they haven't even tried to change the main villain. It's still a fat turtle/dinosaur combination that takes no more effort to defeat than he did back in 1981 or whenever the heck it was, where all the battle entailed was jumping on an axe. But that's gameplay.
     
    The enemies(smaller enemies) are really just as stupid. Jump on a turtle! Yay! I'm having so much fun! Oh look, LET'S PUT WINGS on a turtle and it'll be awesome!!! Ok, yeah, they aren't meant to be scary, but the thing is Mario villains, and really any character, is nothing short of flat out stupid, and the reason why ANYONE can enjoy this is beyond me.
     
    Gameplay: Well, gameplay, not story, is what determines the true quality of a game, amirite? Sadly, the gameplay's just as dumb and unoriginal. Jumping on people has gotten just as old as the same old story over the past 30 years, and the special "upgrades" that they stick in game either make the game way too easy(fire) or they're just so stupid they're not even fun to use(cloud). The Galaxy additions really haven't done anything to help, especially 2, which I still don't see WHY everyone rants over it. Was it a good game? Yeah, it was "good" in the sense that it was good for a game with no story, but it was nowhere near a 10/10.
     
    In addition, the boss fights are so easy they're not even fun. Take Galaxy 2, the "ZOMG 10/10 WE LUV IT." The giant worm boss is so pathetically easy it can literally be beaten in 20 seconds(not including cutscenes). And you don't need to be any sort of master at the game to do it either. Also, they re-used the same boss fight THREE TIMES. If that isn't the definition of un-originality, I don't know what is.
     
    Now, for why the other games I've stated are better.
     
    Firstly, other games attempt to have a story, and they attempt to make it original. I find it hilarious how Mario fans stereotype Halo as being a regular shooter, when in fact it's easily dozens of times more diverse in it's story and gameplay than Mario will ever be.
    First, I'll focus on story. Halo's story is so large and expansive that it has a freaking series of BOOKS written about it. Metroid has a story that books could be written on if the series was popular enough. Same with Zelda, although I will admit Ganon is getting repetitive. Mario is the only Nintendo franchise where there is no attempt at any sort of original story whatsoever, and that makes it way less exciting to play.
     
    Now for gameplay. Halo involves shooting. It also involves flying and driving, as well as choosing the right tactic to get through an area. "Do I sneak through? Go in on a blaze of glory? etc. etc." Mario is the same thing every single time. Run through an area, don't get hit by Boos, jump on a Koopas head. Boring. The powerups do very little to relieve boredom. Jumping on clouds? Whoopee. Rolling into a ball? Metroid beat you on that one by about 23 years. Wasn't all that entertaining then, sure as heck isn't now. Flying? Hooray, we just made the pathetic difficulty even EASIER.
     
    Metroid is a prime example of diverse gameplay. There's exploring segments. There's puzzle solving segments. There's fighting segments, and there's a fun and unique story in it as well. With Mario, there's no exploring. There's always a straight, single direction to go to, and while you can replay levels, it gives this annoying feel that you're always being forced in the same direction. It's way too linear for a game that has this little uniqueness.
     
    And in short, that's why I dislike Mario, think it's the most overrated thing ever, and I'm out.
     
    -MT
  7. MT Zehvor
    Ok, I really don't know how this will work out, or even if it will work out, but I felt like giving it a try since everyone who wanted the MoC contest didn't show up for it.
     
    Anyways, here's the idea of "Betting on Boxtus." My brother, also known to some of you as "Mecha MT(though he's not mechanical)" will come up with an over/under for a certain event. An over/under is a estimated number that indicates something about the event(such as some team is favored to win by a certain amount of points, or Mesonak will come up with a certain amount of dumb usernames). The goal of this is to pick whether the actual amount number that pertains to the event will be over or under the estimated number that Mecha chooses(aka the over/under)
     
    I know my descriptions suck so here's a far-fetched example.
     
    Question: How many murders will occur at a Waffle House this week?
    Over/Under: 7
     
    Now, I decide how many murders I think will occur at a Waffle House this year. Let's say I think 8. Since 8 is above the over/under number(7), I would choose "over."
     
    MT's bet: Over
     
    Now let's say that only 6(or any number lower than 7) occurred. In that case, I would lose. If 9(or any number higher than 7) occur, then I get a point for that question. We'll keep track of points and standings and stuff.
     
    But what happens if the over/under is right on target, and only 7 happen? Well, usually I'll get Mecha to pick a ridiculous number for the over/under(like 7.5, as if half a murder could happen) so that nothing like that could happen. But in the event that it does, you won't lose or gain anything. It'll be as if the event never happened.
     
    Well, I'm kinda ready to start this, so here we go.
     
    Question 1: How many times will Mesonak reply on Aftermath this week?
    Explanation: Mesonak replies on Aftermath about as often as I listen to his podcast. Will this post inspire him to do more?
    Over/Under: 1.5
    My pick: Under
     
    Question 2: How many times will I die to Ridley on Other M hard mode?
    Explanation: Ridley on hard mode has been dubbed the "hardest boss in Metroid history," and the fact that there's no energy tanks or missile expansions isn't gonna help my cause. However, I've gone 2-2 against the last two bosses I've faced, so there's some hope.
    Over/Under: 7.5
    My pick: Waaaaaayyyyyy over
     
    Question 3: How many flame wars will occur on "Almost There" in the next MONTH?
    Explanation: Kind of a stupid question, but hey.
    Over/Under: 0.5
    My pick: Under. I kinda trust that nothing crazy will happen.
     
    Note: Since question 3 will take longer than a week to answer, it won't be counted as a win/loss until January 12.
     
    So, what do you think? Post your picks here.
     
    -MT
  8. MT Zehvor

    3 More Months

    By MT Zehvor,

    Until the sequel to my favorite game of last decade.
     
    Too bad it has to come out on the DS.
     
    Okamiden, we eagerly wait your arrival(or me and Koth do at least).
     
    -MT
  9. MT Zehvor

    Ono The Ventorus

    By MT Zehvor,

    "The Ventorus are back. This time we're staying in the shadows." -KTM
     
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
     
    -MT
  10. MT Zehvor
    Well, it's time for the championship. Hooray. We started with 8 and are down to 2. And once again, it's Halo vs. Metroid, Samus vs. Mast...well....ok, a Spartan...and a bunch of birthday party grunt skulls vs. something that I'm not 100% sure Metroid has a comparatible too. Just to make a point about how EPIC this is(not rly but w/e) lemme remind you what happened in 2004, when Metroid Prime 2: Echoes got past Halo 2 to win the title, and then again in 2007 when Metroid Prime 3: Corruption slipped past Halo 3 for a spot in the championship. So Halo's got a bit of lost time to make up for.
     
    Obviously Reach is a big favorite here. How this ends up, I'm interested to see.
     
    VOAT:
     
    Halo Reach vs. Metroid Other M
     
    -MT
  12. MT Zehvor
    Premier Membership is back.
     
    And I shall begin blogging again by saying that the Kendan are back, lead by TNM. Mesonak says that they are technically both one team, but that if there was any division, he'd be on the Kendan.
     
    -MT
  14. MT Zehvor

    Need Something To Do

    By MT Zehvor,

    Blargh I'm bored. Anyways this leaves me with a question for you all.
     
    Since we need something to do, should it be:
     
    A: Make another TBTTRAH Hurt and Heal Game?
    B: Make another TBTTRAH Mafia Game?(Gorgnak's never really got off the ground, and I doubt this one will either, but w/e)
    C: Make another MoC Contest?
    D: Shut up and make AC/AC like you said you would
     
    Float the voat boat nao.
     
    -MT
  15. MT Zehvor
    The first round is come and gone, and we've dispensed of half of our contenders, leaving us with just 4. Once again, a Halo game is in the mix, and for the 2nd time in 4 years, a Metroid one is as well. The other two: Donkey Kong and Starcraft....haven't seen any of them around for a while.
     
    So it's regular contenders against first time in decades arrivals. Time for the next round:
     
    Last Round Final Scores:
    Halo: Reach 4, Assassin's Creed Brotherhood 2
    Metroid: Other M 3, Red Dead Redemption 2
    Donkey Kong Country Returns 3, Mass Effect 2 2(confusing)
    Starcraft II 3, Super Mario Galaxy 2 2(more confusing)
     
    So here's the matchups for this year's final four:
     
    Reach vs. Starcraft II
    Other M vs. DKC
     
    And of course my votes go to the two tops seeds, since I ranked them that way.
     
    Halo and Metroid have a 1 point lead.
     
    -MT
  16. MT Zehvor
    And it's that time of the year again. All the video games are played(well, all the ones worth playing) and it's time to decide who shall wind up as the game of the year for 2010.
     
    In what was hyped as the best year ever for video games, 2010 has ended up looking more like the year of the disappointment. There's been a ton of underachievers, but maybe that's because we've set our standards too high. But oh well. There has to be a winner, and not every game was bad.
     
    That said, here are the top 8 games of 2010 as rated by me. And then the playoff brackets.
     
    #1: Halo: Reach - In what didn't turn out to be a disappointment at all, Reach delivered everything promised and more. Easily the best story, probably the best gameplay, and the best multiplayer of the year. The new characters, gameplay features, and the new features that they added to firefight to actually make it fun makes it look like a runaway choice for game of the year. And as if it wasn't good enough, the music and graphics are undoubtedly the best around. I've never seen a company put it's heart into a game into this like Bungie did. (9.7/10)
     
    #2: Metroid: Other M - It's a sad year in video games when an 8.7/10 on the MT scale gets a #2 seed. Granted, this game had it's problems: it stepped on it's toes repeatedly when it tried to tell a story, and leaving the nunchuk out of the gameplay design was a huge mistake, but some of the gameplay features were incredibly fun. One of the greatest sidekicks(if you can call him that) appears, and the return of the speed booster made this a game not to miss. And as if it didn't have enough reasons to be bought...it has the controversial moment of the year...(8.7/10)
     
    #3: Donkey Kong Country Returns - RETRO STUDIOS RETURNS! The guys from Metroid Prime have easily made the 2D game of the year, and quite possibly the hardest game of the year too. What makes this game so great is all the challenges that keep the game still fun, and probably keep you going when you want to throw the controller at the window. The difficulty is kinda insane though. There's no way a game needs to be this hard, and it seems like the hardness covers up for some of the level design simplicity. (8.5/10)
     
    #4: Super Mario Galaxy 2 - Overrated? Sure. But it's still good. While definitely not deserving of the 10/10 it got from nearly every website ever(maybe if they actually tried hiring a storyline designer...), the gameplay was fun, and some of the new Mario powerups were actually decently entertaining. Sadly, the game gets so bogged down by it's fights: the bosses pose no challenge whatsoever(the reason why you won't find Kirby on this list) and it's repetitive gameplay in those fights kept it from being the 2nd A of the year. (8.5/10)
     
    #5: Starcraft II - A strategy game? A GOOD strategy game? Holy.... well, really, any game with "zerg" in it is probably gonna be good. Among the things I liked about this was the amazing story. The voice cinematics were a pure joy to listen to after dealing with Monotone Aran for a week and a half. The reason that it's not higher then? The gameplay is, quite honestly, annoyingly slow. And yes, I know it's a strategy game, and it's supposed to be slow, but I just can't bring myself to love a game that progress in gameplay this slowly. Still, it wasn't bad, and it winds up at number 5. (8.1/10)
     
    #6: Mass Effect 2 - Well, I still don't get why it's rated so high, but it was a heck of a lot better than the first one. Don't have a lot to say about it, except the gameplay is VASTLY improved. It's a lot more than just walking around, looking over a shoulder and shooting a gun. (8/10)
     
    #7: Red Dead Redemption - Like Mass Effect, I didn't think this one was as good as advertised, but, hey, that's why you don't buy the game, right? The story seems a bit muddled, but the gameplay and the amount of characters more than makes up for it. Still, the game's fun, and that's what makes a game good, amirite? (8/10)
     
    #8: Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood - Well....not quite as good as II. But still fun. My main issue with it is that so much of the game is doing the same thing over and over: assassinating tower captains. And sadly, it seems like they didn't even try to improve the gameplay. Plays really similar to II, but not in a good way. Story's really good, though it's a little annoying when Ezio pulls a Samus and gets all his stuff destroyed at the beginning(8/10)
     
    "WAT?! NO CALL OF DUT"-yes. All of these games are far better than this.
     
    So here's the matchups:
     
    #1: Reach vs. #8: Brotherhood
    #2: Other M vs. #7: Redemption
    #3: DKC Returns vs. #6 Mass Effect 2
    #4: SMG2 vs. #5: Starcraft II
     
    Since I obviously vote for whoever I ranked higher than the others, the scores stand:
     
    Halo 1, AC 0
    Metroid 1, RDR 0
    DKC 1, M#2 0
    SMario 1, SCII 0
     
    -MT
  18. MT Zehvor

    Kinect

    By MT Zehvor,

    After visiting a local Burger King, I have officially lost all faith in Kinect.
     
    What's next, dodging Warthogs by diving behind a couch and sword fighting by swinging a closed fist?
     
    -MT
  19. MT Zehvor
    Well, this game managed to break quite a number of sales records. So did it exactly deserve the millions of dollars it got? And, possibly more importantly, can it challenge Halo: Reach for the best shooter of the year? My thoughts below:
     
    Story: The story was actually fairly interesting, without any of the confusing mess that was Modern Warfare's 2 story. Or, at least, it was, until the middle of the story, where it got really confusing. Thankfully, though, the multiplayer doesn't need story to work, now does it? 7.5/10
     
    Gameplay: It's Call of Duty, so it's fun, sure. But it really feels...well...like they didn't try to make it better. Nothing was really changed from Modern Warfare 2. Some of the campaign parts were pretty fun, but overall, it seems like whoever made this really just took one too many days off. Good, but not great. 8/10
     
    Graphics: This was probably the most surprising/dissapointing. Metroid: Other M did better then this, and while Other M certainly wasn't a bad title from the standpoint of graphics, there's no way a premier 360 title should ever lose to a Wii title. Ever. 6/10
     
    Music: Well, at least they did something right. Easily the best Call of Duty music ever. 9/10
     
    OVERALL: Overall, this game was a disappointment. That probably comes from my high expectations. While certainly a good game, it's really nothing new since Modern Warfare 2. Reach is miles ahead of this, and it's easily forseeable that this might not even finish within the top 5 games of the year(with Reach, Other M, Galaxy 2, and Starcraft II all being better games IMO, and Brotherhood looming). 8/10
     
    -MT
  20. MT Zehvor

    Buck

    By MT Zehvor,

    So....
     
    I found him....but I didn't find him the first time....does anyone know what the sequence of events is to make him re-appear?
     
    -MT
  22. MT Zehvor

    Mesonak

    By MT Zehvor,

    Has apparently no skills in choosing a good name. Or did we figure that out already?
     
    In other news, Ask Cookies(and Christmas) will be up sometime....and by sometime I mean when people start reviewing Aftermath again...don't feel like posting a comedy that no one's gonna read.
     
    "Agent Washington!"
    "...son of a..."
    "YOU'VE JUST BEEN-"
    *BBBBOOOOOOOOMMMM!!!!!*"
    "AAAHHH I MESSED UP THE ONE LINER!!!"
     
    -MT
  23. MT Zehvor
    Or if BZP even has record books.
     
    Anyways, Aftermath is at 4th place on the all time longest comedies list, and 131 posts away from tying TBTTRAH for the longest all time. The actual longest topic on the comedies forum is a discussion topic(guess they were allowed sometime long ago), and that's about another 900 posts away...
     
    I'll make it a personal goal to make Aftermath the longest topic in the comedies forum before I leave in...about a year in 3/4ths...
     
    -MT
  24. MT Zehvor

    Bzp Dying

    By MT Zehvor,

    It's really starting to look like BZP is slowly but surely heading downhill in terms of members' activity. I seriously can not remember a time in my BZP career where I saw so little activity from everyone I know.
     
    Wonder how long it's got left. I hope it's a while. I still have a story to finish...
     
    -MT
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